Love and Death

(Script for episode one)

Every since I was a little kid, people have been telling me that life is not fair; that you live, and then die and nothing more is expected of your life. Then when I turned into a teenager it turned into the rebel, the drug addict, the complainer, the fag. When is it time when everything comes together? When we can find that happy balance between life and death...

Here I was again, walking down the street clutching onto my side in the pouring rain. Me and my boyfriend have been fighting, our relationship has been fighting as of lately, and it's not even the good kind of fighting where you can grow and learn and other bull shit that stupid ass people that are not in fucking relationships and don't know how hard it is to keep the person that you love mother fucking happy say!

"God Damnit!" I heaved into my arm pulling down my soaked jacket.

"August!" I hear my name being called from behind me and I knew it was him.

"August please baby get into the car" I heard again as the car slowed down to match my steps.

It's weird how when you want something so bad, to be called baby again and all you want is your boyfriend to say is I'm sorry. When you get it, your stupid ass pride gets in the way.

"August... it's raining"

"No shit Sherlock, you didn't think I knew that?" I said to him as I walked faster.

He followed me until I got to the stop light. He put his car in park and jumped out and hugged me.

"Baby, please can we talk?" He asked me while I let him lead me to the car.

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Liam

"Yes suck my big fat dick, oh god I'm about to cuuuuummm"

I got up from my knees, and spit on the side of the cold, wet ground.

"You're a good cocksucker" number 30 said while he slipped a fifty in my hand and walked back into his car.

I walked down the street as the rain started to pour down on me. My house was only six blocks away so hopefully I can make it before I get sick off the smell of number 30's dick. I stopped and put the fifty dollars into my right shoe and started to run home. It's weird in the rain how it makes you stop and think about everything and every situation, like how there are starving people in the world, homeless people, and other shit that I don't give a fuck about. All I care about is... Well nothing really! Well no that's not true, I care about money, and dick, so I do care about shit. As I was running and thinking this my cell phone went off.

"Get your ass over to the hotel" I heard a rough voice say then hung up the phone.

I stopped and started thinking, I need to start caring about something else...me. As I turned my course and ran towards the hotel I stopped at the red light and looked at this sad ass couple fighting...fucking fags.

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"Baby, I'm sorry that I got mad at you really I am, I have been under a lot of stress with school and working and everything else." my boyfriend said to me as he drove down the road towards my house.

"k" I said back to him.

"And you know I love you, and I do, and I'm tired of fighting with you all the time over the dumbest shit in the world."

"K" I said again.

"Will you say something different?" He said to me while he reached for my hand.

"Ok" I said back to him.

He left it at that, and removed his hand from mine as we just started driving. I shifted in my seat and put my head on the cold window wishing that I could have some kind of a sign that what I am doing here is sane.

"Where are we going" I asked when I realized we had past my house.

"I wanna show you something" He said to me.

"Give me your hand baby" My boyfriend said to me as he took my hand and led me to a cliff.

"You know what this place is? My boyfriend asked

"No..." I said trying to remember

"This is the first place that I saw you at" He said to me with a smile as we sat down and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Is it?" I asked

"Yeah, you were standing over by the trees by yourself, because your boyfriend at the time was fighting with you, and I remember thinking that you deserved so much better, and if I ever had you then I would never let you go." He said while he kissed my cheek.

"I don't want to let you go..." He said to me.

What do you do when you know things are bad, and you know they are? When you have been put into another situation that you promised yourself you would never do again? What do you do when you are in love? And thinking about death?

"Baby?" he whispered into my ear.

"yeah?" I said back to him

" you ready to go?" He asked me.

"Yeah" I said back to him.

While we were driving back I looked at this guy, this guy that reminded me of someone that I promised myself that I would never be with again, and here I was wanting to get out, wanting to leave.

"I love you" I said to him...

It's better to be happy then to be alone...

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I stood outside the hotel door raising my hand, and then being to afraid to knock on the door. I pulled out a cigarette and paced around the complex for awhile building up my nerves. After finishing my cigarette I flicked it over the balcony and knocked on the door.

"Where the fuck have you been?" The voice said as I walked into the dark room

"I was at the park" I said in a low voice

"Did you get my money?" He asked as he spit in the sink

"Yeah... but-"

"But what?" He asked as he cut me off and reached for my right shoe.

"Fifty fucking dollars? That's all you got me?" He asked as he jammed the cash into his pants.

" It was raining" I protested.

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE RAIN!" He said to me as he punched me in the face.

I wished at that moment when the bed was rocking back and forth that I was one of those starving children, that I could be dead, that this is my life. I wished in that moment that I was not here, that I should have tried harder and I failed, I wished in that moment that I was not loosing my virginity and feeling blood come out of me.

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Well that's the first "episode" of my whole new creation. It's like a soap opera type deal, but with a lot more darkness, but don't worry I'll bust out my crazy and funny side. If you like what you read email me loveath87@yahoo.com
-A.J