Loving you, loving me

Before you start reading:

This is my first attempt at writing a long story, and I hope people will enjoy it. Inspiration for writing it came from reading so many others hosted on this great archive. What follows is a work of fiction, but many things are based on personal experiences and events. I'll let you decide what is fiction and what is fact. Any resemblances to persons, names, or places are unintentional and mere coincidence.

The story revolves around teenage gay males and includes sexual and other content that may be offensive to some. If you think this might be the case, or if you are under the legal age in the area where you live, please do not read any further.

Please respect my efforts in writing this, and do not copy or reproduce any part of the story without my permission.

Comments and suggestions are of course always welcome at formosa1984@gmail.com

Happy reading!


Darkness all around me. I can hear the wind play a chilling and sad song. I am naked and on the floor, my arms and legs and entire body twisted together like a small human ball. Drops of water fall like tear drops continuously on my smooth body, but from where I do not know. I shiver a bit as a draught blows in. Where is this place?

Suddenly I hear footsteps, and they move closer and closer. They sound heavy, loud in the dark empty space all around me. I cannot see the person, but I feel a sudden unease, enough to make me want to throw up. My naked body shivers uncontrollably, partly out of fear, partly because of the cold.

Then I see a figure, a dark silhouette of what unmistakably is a man. I still cannot see his face, but his nearing presence frightens me more. I want to clamber onto my feet, but I cannot. I lie there, still like a shrunken ball, still shivering uncontrollably.

"Don't be afraid! I'm here," the voice says, echoing in the emptiness around me.

He draws closer and closer. My body fills with intense fear, a twitching sensation inside as if insects are crawling. I can no longer see where the man is, and that makes me even more frightened.

"Come, come closer. I'll not hurt you."

But somehow I know the man is lying. I start to crawl, and each time my naked body scrapes the floor I feel intense pain and agony. I have no idea where I am going, but I know I have to escape, somehow.

Out of nowhere, a dark hand appears in front of my face. My throat freezes with fear, and I cannot move any further. The hand closes in and covers whole my mouth, and before I know it, two dark sunken eyes stare into mine. I scream, but nothing comes out as his strong hands take my voice hostage.

"I'm not going to hurt you, little boy. Have no fear. It'll be fun."

With one hand on my mouth, the man uses the other to feel all over my body. Each touch, each contact makes me physically and emotionally nauseous, but my mind is numb. Whatever will and energy in me to put up a resistance has long since abandoned me. I close my eyes and feel his rugged body sink like heavy weights on top of mine...

Kitty purred softly. She strutted silently and parked herself in between my legs. It was comforting to feel her soft fur, her warmth and look into her soft greenish eyes that seemed to always shine with such affection. I pulled her closer, and covered myself again with the blankets that lay in a tangled mess on the floor. For many more moments I hid myself and Kitty under the blankets, and closed my eyes. But my fears and vulnerability remained wide open.

I was sweating intensely. Just a nightmare, it was just a nightmare, I reassured myself. But it seemed real enough, and it wasn't the first of its kind. I closed my eyes and tried to get a hold of myself, but found myself shaken with the images and experience in my dream. They seemed so real... too real.

I mustn't think too much of it. It was just a nightmare. It was all in the past.

Wasn't it?