Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2010 19:17:03 -0700 (PDT) From: Nan Valenzuela Subject: Loving You 8 Disclaimer: This story is mine and any reference to anything in the real world is just coincidental!!! So here you go!! Loving You Remembrance Mary POV "We know what we know just because we where there..." I took one more drink of scotch. If I was going through this better get wasted right? "We know just a few things. Nothing to what Nate had known but we know something though. Anyway..." Beginning of Seventh Year. Mary POV "So you and Chris used to be boyfriends?" I was sitting across from Nate. We where both on on the field alone. Just both of us sharing our secrets. He nodded. "We where until around third grade until he broke up with me." He gave me a little smile. "Why?" I was curious, I pushed my classes back on my nose and tossed my hair to the side. Dang curly mess. His smile disappeared and his eyes showed a little longing. "One of the friends he has now started making fun of us." "So a bully?" "Yeah. First it was teasing then he started beating me up. Eventually Chris said it was enough and that two boys being boyfriends was just weird and that was the end of that." He wrapped his hands around his knees. "But you guys are still friends, do you miss what you guys had?" I already knew the answer. "Yes I do... We are friends just because I wormed my way into his circle of friends." But he didn't like those friends. They where always jerks and like to pick on anyone who was weird. Those friends actually only excepted Nate for the fact that his mother and father had money. "But you got me right? Your fake girlfriend?" I gave him a little smile and he smiled back. "Sorry about that..." He was but I was his only defense for the moment. He is fun, caring and strong but on the inside he was still vulnerable. He did an awful job at hiding his hurt feelings so it was easy to get things out of him and help him out. "Its fine." I took out a book and handed it to him. A yaoi manga, one of the books of the series he was reading. "Read this if you get bored or something make sure you hide it okay?" He took it from me and nodded. We gave each other a hug and separated. Lunch period was over. Three periods and I would be with my best friend again. "Are you okay?" Nate seemed out of breath and pulled me to the side. "What are yo-" He covered my mouth with his hands as two boys went running past. "Sorry." He sat down and started working on keeping his breath steady. "What happened?" I leaned down and moved his hair from his eyes. "Some kids where picking on Victor again and I stood up for him." Ah Victor. He was picked on for being thought of as a fag. Nate was starting to defend those people and his popularity was starting to deteriorate. He didn't care. He never wanted to see anyone get hurt. Even if he got hurt. He even fought with a few guys. Present "What Nate fought with people?" "Yes but only because they where hurting with another person. He wasn't that good but he let the person being picked on escape." Then Nate got hurt if he didn't run away either. Past "Something else happened also..." He was still out of breath. "What?" "Mr. Davis read part of the book in class..." Damn. "What happened?" "He told me it was fine," Nate smiled. "He told me that if I had any problems to go talk with him." "Really?" He nodded. "That is so cool. First me now a teacher!" I was happy, he needed to have all the support he could get. "I know... I told him about Chris..." Oh... "That is why im even more late." I see... "I told Mr. Davis that I was in love with Chris. Even though he hates..." Fags. "He told me that everything would be fine and to just be his friend." "I told you that." I did. "Now lets go get some ice cream!" Nate found a lake during one of his running trips and we started to go there to have fun. Occasionally Chris came with us but he usually was busy. Something about trying to get a job or friends or something like that. He got really weird sometimes when he saw Nate in swim trunks though. Nate was spending extra time with Mr. Davis so that he could get a grown ups perspective on things. Weirdly enough Mr. Davis was a friends of Mr. Valentine. "I heard something weird today...." "What?" We where sharing a sandwich Nates mom had made. She was quite the cook. "People are saying that im gay..." I stopped eating. "Really?" Strange I heard nothing of the sort. "Who was talking about it?" "Eric and Jimmy. I was in the bathroom and they where talking about me when they came in," Nate was staring at the ground. "Well you know they like to jump the gun so don't worry about it okay? I got a plan!" Maybe not right now but I would get one. "So I got the new manga yesterday wanna come over to read it?" "Sure... Mercury...." He got a small smile on his face. "Cool... so after class Saturn?" "Whatever....." He blushed and continued to eat. The next few weeks where getting bad. Rumors where starting to fly around that Nate was gay. However I made sure they stayed like that and no one actually thought he was. Being the fake girlfriend that I was made sure to say things to keep people from thinking otherwise. Nate was finding notes in his locker talking about his death. He told me he wasn't that worried since he was never alone. He wasn't so that kept me from being worried. Though I still wanted to tell someone else. Nate told Mr. Davis but he said the same thing as Nate. Don't stay alone. Chris was starting to keep his distance from us. He rarely acknowledge our existence in school. It was killing Nate. His first friend was treating him like shit. I didn't say anything to Chris at first then when Nate was getting really depressed I did. Chris at first kept me at a distance but after some persistence he told me he would talk to Nate. "So did you see the football team?" "How could I not?" Nate got this dreamy look on his face. That boy and alpha males. "Steven and Stan where so hot. Especially when they..." When they ran and the sweat when down their chest.. They both didn't like to wear shirts so we could see there muscles. Tight and defined. "I swear Steven was checking me out!" "He was. Why else would he stop and wave at you then walk slowly away?" "I don't know..." I had let Nate give me a little me a little make over. My hair was slightly tames and I was starting to get used to contacts. A few people actually started to hit on me even though I had a boyfriend. "I wonder why he was hitting on me when you where right next to me..." "Who knows maybe he heard the rumors and was trying to get me?" I smacked Nate with the pillow. "Just cause your gay doesn't give you liberty to look at anyone else but me!" "Yeah but since you are straight you can look at guys?" "Touche." "So you are gay." Both Nate and I jumped as the door shut. Greg. "I..." I got in front of Nate. "So he is got a problem with it?" I crossed my arms and glared at him. Greg pushed me out of the way and gave Nate a hug. Not what I was expecting. I watched from afar as Nate confessed to his brother and cried. Greg didn't do anything, just held his brother and comforted him. It was nice. I knew Greg was a nice guy. A few days after Greg found out was the the last time I ever saw real Nate. Happy Nate. The real happy Nate not the scared bubble Nate. The one who wants for nothing. Gives everything to anyone. Lets himself suffer alone. Present Mike was leaning real close to me. "What happened next?" That is what I didn't know. Just the basic details. "Chris can tell you..." "Give me a minute..." Chris took another drink and lite another cigarette. "What do you mean the real Nate?" He was confused. The people who knew this story where confused about that part. Everyone who wasn't close to Nate. "Nate was fun, open, caring and let his heart on his shoulder," I smiled I missed him. "The current Nate however is like a former shell of what he was." "He seems normal..." Thats what people usually said. "Seems being the relative word," I took another drink. The story wasn't even done yet. We don't know what happened. Probably never will. We just have an idea of what could have happened. "You see him happy but on the inside he is alone. He still doesn't trust Chris yet. He may seem like he does but you can tell sometimes that he doesn't. Whatever Chris says is all a joke to Nate. "He has a small fear with Chris. He doesn't ask for anything because he feels he is not worth it. The old Nate asked for things but for what he needed, sometimes just because." I smiled he asked for the craziest things sometimes. "If someone hurts this Nate he just takes it because he knows he isn't worth it. The old Nate however would fight back even knowing it was a losing battle. "He let everyone know how he was feeling even when he tried to hide it. This one however is harder to read and he wont except your help." They where the same and at the same time different. One for real joy and happiness to another of fake emotions. "But from what I can tell he has been genuinely happy." There is where he is right. Something is bringing the old Nate back. "He is getting easier to read and becoming more of himself." The doctors said this might happen. However it could have a nasty side effect not knowing what he really endured. "Really?" Mike sounded surprised. "Its been happening slowly but yes breaking the shell little by little." Chris took a long drag and crushed the cigarette on the table. "We are not sure why but it could be because of love," I looked at Chris for a second. "you or the fact that he has true friends. So his brain is becoming stable and letting him relax." Mike nodded. "Chris..." "I know...." Seventh Year Chris POV What he hell? Who wrote that on the hallway? Whoever did had some balls. I can't believe I just stood there and let my friends beat him. Even I... I closed my eyes... Mr. Davis had saved Nate from getting hurt more. He cried for me to.... I shoved him to the floor and my friends had to... Present "Davis didn't save him though." Mary's voice was filled with venom. "Who?" Mike was confused. "The guy who made us lose part of Nate." She was strangling a pillow. Alcohol was giving her a boost. "I gave Nate to him on a freaking silver platter...." I let the person I loved get beaten and kidnapped. I promised to protect him and I failed. I was a puppet. Past "You bastard!" I turned around to get punched hard on the my cheek. I faltered, her hits kept coming at me. She was pulled back by someone and I looked up. Greg. "Whats going on?" Mary's eyes where overflowing with tears. Greg kept his grip on her arms so she wouldn't be able to hit me any more. "That bastard let Nate get beat..." She was still crying but she stopped trying to get away from Greg's grip. "What?" Greg looked at Mary then back at me. "I...." "Nate wanted to get away... You saw the hallway right?" Greg nodded still holding her. "Chris didn't want to get close to Nate and he shoved him. His dickwad friends thought he was going to beat Nate and they..." She started crying. Lots of blood. I closed my eyes and went down on the ground. Shit Greg sure knew how to through a punch. "You stood their and watched my brother get pounded!" I didn't speak. "Answer me you little shit!" Greg started kicking me and I let him. This was only a fraction of what my friends did to him. "Greg that is enough..." Mary got in front of Greg and stopped him from hurting me any more. "Lets go find Nate okay?" She gave me one last look and left with Greg. He wanted to leave and I didn't let him. In the end I pushed him away and watched him get hurt. Present "What?" "What do you mean what?" "Why did you push him?" Mike was calm but I could tell he was getting angry. Hell Greg was still angry. "I don't know...." I did know. The reason was I just didn't wanna be with him at the moment. Guilt. I fought and attacked anyone who I thought was gay. In the end I was still in love with a friend who was gay and I screwed it all up. "He knows he is just being an ass," Mary tossed me a pillow and I let it hit me. "While Nate was getting used to his sexuality, someone was grasping the idea that he loved someone. The same sex no less," She pointed at me. "However when said person found out that that person might be gay, he did whatever he could to stay away from that person." I did. Ignoring him and keeping my distance from him. "When he finally started coming to terms, some asshole messed with him," I was right for the messing. "Not sexually but mentally. Then the other person took his chance with Chris and he won. His friends did exactly what the other person wanted." "They beat up Nate." More of a fact than a question. "Yes the person," She still didn't wanna use his name. "knew Chris's friends didn't like homo's, so he manipulated Chris. With Chris playing the puppet all it took was a little shove and Nate was down." "What happened after that?" That we aren't so sure of. "We don't know all the details..." She took another drink. "We do know that for two weeks Nate was hurting." "What kind of hurting?" "We don't know all we have is an idea..." There was only two people who knew. One was in jail and wouldn't say anything or he would get more time. The other had lost part of his memory. "It was just torture...." "What kind?" "We don't know!" Mary yelled, she was starting to cry a little bit. Alcohol made her a bit stronger but she still cried. We all went silent listening to her cries. "Who saved him?" "He did..." Mary pointed at me. "How?" Past. Seventh Year Two weeks... Not seeing him. His smile. Face. Voice. It was killing me. I needed something from him. Anything. Even if he hated me in the end. I continued to peddle. The bastard had made his mistake and now I knew where he was. I passed by the lake where Nate, Mary, and I used to hang out. We didn't hang out much before but I swear I would find him. "You stupid idiot where are you going?!" "To get Nate..." "By yourself? You just got the information to where he is and you are going the minute you know?" That bastard messed up by talking in the woods telling someone to stop by the warehouse. "Who knows if he is still...." "I know but what if he gets you too?" "I don't care..." I didn't. It was my fault if he... "Power of love right?" "Nerd..." "Sailor Moon rules man!" She was trying to lighten the mood. On the inside she must have been terrified. "Give me five minutes then call the police and his parents," Maybe mine.. I pushed it aside. "Tell them the abandoned warehouse past the lake." "Be careful...." I hung up. I put the cell phone in my back pocket as a slowed down. I stashed my bike close by a bush just in case he walked by. Playing sometimes with Nate at the warehouse gave me an idea of how it was inside. However there was rooms we have never been in. That place was like a maze. Getting inside was easy finding Nate and getting out was the hard part. The warehouse smelled like wet wood and stale air. Each time I heard the wind blow I froze. I looked around each turn, wondering where they where at. His car was here so they both had to be here. "You still have a little fight in you don't you?" I froze waiting for him to appear but he never did. "Chris...." Nate. I looked around me but there was nothing. I looked at the floor and there was a little light shining from the bottom. There was a bourd covering a hole, I moved the bourd a little to get a better view. "He won't come for you. Two weeks and you are already considered dead." Davis walked towards the lamp and took out a needle. "This will make it a reality." I pushed the bourd slowly, making sure I didn't give Davis any idea that I was here. Looking around for some kind of weapon I took a old floorboard. I had to make sure I did this in one shot. If not I could put Nate or I in danger. More so at least. I waited until Davis had his back turned towards me. When I saw my opening I jumped down and started making my way towards him. "What the-" As soon as his face turn towards me I swung towards his head and felt it connect. I watched his body go to ground with a thump. I dropped the bourd and watched as small trinkles of blood stained the floor. I looked over at Nate and lost my breath. He was pale, bruised and chained up agaisn't the wall. I made my way towards him slowly. "Im so sorry..." I tried to reach for him but he cringed and I stopped. "Please.... don't... touch... me..." I wanted to touch him but he looked so fragile... Chains around his wrists and legs... Bastard... "Please forgive me I shouldn't have..." Hurt you... Let you get hurt.. I started to get closer to him. "Get away from me!!!" I stopped. He never yelled at me. He was starting to cry... It was killing me. "Nate please.." I got a little closer and he started crying even more. He continued to cry. Making himself get closer to the wall. I took his hand into mine. It was bruised and a little bloodie. "I love you.... so much. Im so sorry..." His hand tried to escape mine but I didn't let it go. I needed this, just for his warmth. "How can you say that to me..." "Because I really do...." I just didn't want to admit it to myself. "I am such a failure aren't I?" I really was not being able to protect the one I love. "I... love..." He stoppped talking and I looked up. He was out cold. I searched Davis's body for the keys to the chains and nearly gave up but remembered the desk. Luckily they where there and I was able to free Nate. It took some time but I had Davis in the chains and carried Nate bridal style. Even if he was mad and scared of me. I smiled. I still hopped one day I could marry him but I put the thought in the back of my mind and maneuvered through the wearhouse. "Stop right there! Mercury Star Power!" Huh? Sounded like Mary. I carried Nate a little higher. "You evil fiend how dare you steal my friend! In the name of Mercury I will punish you!" I saw something from the side move. Was that blue? "Shine Aqua Illusion!" Something started heading my way, I tried to dodge but with Nate in my arms it was hard. Something hit my face and exploded. Water balloon... "What the hell was that?!" I yelled. I heard another rustle. "Chris?" "Who the fuck else?" Mary popped out in a blue uniform. Sailor Mercury.... "Oh sorry I thought you where Davis... You should close your eyes by the way..." What does she mean I should close my.... "What the hell!" My eyes started burning. Soap. I made sure I didn't drop Nate as I sat on the ground. "Sorry... I was worried and when I saw someone carry a body I panicked..." I heard her ran and felt her hand on my head. "I came because I was worried. The cops should be here soon." Present Mike POV What the hell? "How could this have happened and I never found out?" "It was kept under a tight lid. It was Nate's dad who forced the police into keeping it quiet. Threatening to sue while you are one of the best lawyers in the state makes them worry." Chris was smoking another cigarette. Okay so that clears that up. I had so many questions but there was only one person who I could ask. I wasn't mad at Chris. It was long ago and he was trying to atone for it. Davis however I could kill. "Sailor mercury?" Even though Mary was crying she blushed. "Yeah... Nate was Saturn..." Nate POV I sneezed. "Bless you." Greg gave me a hankercheif. "Thanks." I sneezed again. "Someone must be talking about you..." "Yeah-" I sneezed again. "right." Mom. Where are you? Okay so there is way more to this than what they know! Dad has his part and so does Nate. So tell me how you feel? Comments things like that?