Date: Wed, 29 May 2002 12:27:19 -0700 (PDT) From: kiran trivedi Subject: Making the Right Choice PART 2 Since I got requests not to leave poor Josh lonesome, I'm writing this sequel to the first episode. *** Alan was in love with his best friend -- Keith. But at the same time something bothered him. He felt something was missing in his relationship with Keith. Keith was getting more handsome day by day...that's what happens when you fall in love with someone. Even the ugliest people become beautiful. Keith wasn't that bad, Alan thought. Then what was missing? "Why did you leave me Alan? Why?" said Josh. "I'm sorry Josh, I'm afraid I'm in love with Keith" said Alan. "But you loved me first Alan, you loved me so much more. What happened?" "I--I--" "You couldn't wait. You couldn't wait for the right person. You couldn't wait for your love, to love you" said Josh in a soft voice. Alan woke up full of perspiration. What a dream! He couldn't sleep after having the dream, it would keep coming back. Alan watched as the sun rose up in the sky and painted the skyline with bright colors. Alan wasn't able to think, he didn't want to think, he was afraid of changing his mind and hurting someone. But wasn't he hurting someone now? Wasn't he hurting himself? At 8:30 he left for the hospital. It was the day Josh was getting discharged. "Alan...," Josh said his voice sounded low and depressed. "Josh. I came to take you to the car. Mrs. Parkinson is filling up some forms." Josh kept quiet, just looking at Alan as if he was seeing him for the first time. Alan noticed that Josh was ready, his bags were packed. He just needed someone to help him get to the car now. And Alan had to do it. Alan came closer to Josh. He took his hand and reached for Josh's back, in an effort to lift him up from the bed. "Slowly..." said Alan who was now helping Josh get up. Alan always felt strange touching Josh. It was like electric shock was going through his body while touching him. And today it was worse. Josh was now trying to stand but he couldn't. Alan supported him. Josh rested on Alan's body and it seemed like he wanted more support than he really needed. Alan could smell Josh now, he could feel his breath. It was comforting. It was as if he was a part of him. Alan quickly seated Josh on his wheel chair and started pushing it. They were now in an elevator. "Alan...we have to talk about it." "There is nothing to talk about." "Please tell me one thing, for the sake of our friendship" After a hesitation Alan said "Tell me..." "Did you ever love me Alan? Ever? Or was it just me?" Did he ever love Josh? Was this guy kidding? Alan recollected all the nights that he thought about Josh. He dreamt of all the days they would spend together after they were couples. He was planning their future, they would adopt a son! He had gone that far! They were now on the ground floor and the elevator door opened. Alan pushed Josh's wheelchair. He guided Josh to the backdoor of the hospital where patients were brought in. Mrs. Parkinson had parked her car right outside the backdoor. Alan was now helping Josh get into the car. But it was difficult for Josh get in to the van. Alan without even thinking lifted Josh up with both his hands. His mind was thinking -- he isn't as heavy as I though he would be. Alan's mind didn't want to think about what Josh had asked him. "Tell me Alan...did you ever...?" asked Josh who was now very close to Alan. "I loved you more than my life." Alan said in an unperturbed voice and gently literally placed Josh on the back seat. To Alan's relief, Mrs. Parkinson was back after paying the bills. Josh had to rest for a week and he would back to normal. "Alan would you mind sitting with Josh...a nurse is coming with us. He wants to set up some apparatus and give us some guidance for the one week resting period" said Mrs. Parkinson. "Sure no problem, Mrs. Parkinson" said Alan. No problem? How could he possible sit next to Josh? They were now on their way to Josh's house. The nurse was talkative and kept talking something unrelated to any one of them. Josh was looking straight at his mom's seat cover. He suddenly felt something dropping. He instantly knew that they were tears. He couldn't control them. They kept coming down. He wished that his mother wouldn't see in the rear view mirror. He wiped them with his left hand, but they kept coming back. Alan was hurt. He was hurting his best friend. He couldn't stand it anymore. He reached for Josh's hand and held it. Josh was surprised; he looked down to see what Alan was doing. Alan pressed Josh's left hand tightly, as if to say, don't cry I'm there for you, I care for you. His eyes said something else they said -- don't cry I love you. And Josh needed no extra sense to interpret it. He smiled at Alan. And Alan, to his amazement smiled back at him. * * * Alan returned home just after seeing a movie and having some brief "fun" with Keith. They enjoyed it thoroughly as usual. Alan knew Josh had hopes with him, but he was in love with Keith, he was in love with Josh too. "Do you love Josh Alan?" Keith asked. "Very much," said Alan. "Do you love me?" "Very much," replied Alan looking dazed. "I have got a solution" "What???" Alan asked inquisitively. "We all start loving each other." "This isn't funny Keith." "I'm serious" "You mean me, you and Josh all three together?" "Yes Alan. Why do you sound so surprised?" "Because people don't do such things." "Some ages back the same people believed gay people were cursed Alan. There are millions of people in the world. How could we possibly not fall in love with more than one person?" "Bull Shit!" "Think about it Alan. There is no other way out. Deep down you need both of us, don't you?" "You are talking silly, you ass" "Think about it" And Alan was thinking and he was really depressed about the fact that Keith was right; he was so god damn right about the whole thing! "But you don't love...Josh? Do you?" "I love you. So I'm sure I can love someone whom you love" said Keith confidently. "It's too complex. What about our future? We all three will get married?" "Why are you worried about the future babe? Do we gays have a future anyway? We live in the present. Life is too short to make sacrifices in love Alan" "I have to talk about this to Josh" said Alan, who was surprised that he had agreed to this deal! * * * A bigger surprise or shock came to Alan when Josh readily agreed to the deal. He was even excited about it! A few days later, when Josh became completely normal, Alan started going out with Josh. He would go on alternate nights with Josh and Alan. A week later they started hanging out together and Josh came to know Keith like how Alan did. Keith also discovered more about Josh. They all discovered one thing -- they were meant for each other. Alan didn't have to make a choice. He was selfish by taking all the choices that he had. But wasn't he happy? And isn't that why we are living on this earth -- for happiness? The End (and they lived happily ever after) Author's Note: Personally I don't believe in having relationships with more than one person, whether they are gay, lesbians or straight people. But imagine yourself falling in love, so deeply and equally in more than one person. What would you do? Would you make a choice? In this story it was too late for Alan to go back to Josh. He was in love with Keith. I couldn't bear to watch any of them get hurt! Even the readers wanted all of them to be happy. So I had to end it like how I did. Well all I can say is, please be careful and prevent yourself from falling in love with more than one person and also prevent others from falling in love with you, if you are already in love. Your comments at wonderme1999@yahoo.com