Date: Sun, 4 May 2003 19:29:57 -0700 (PDT) From: Corey Campbell Subject: The Many Faces Of Samuel: River Of Tears Part Two Chapter 7 This is the story about the life and love of gay teenagers. All characters names have been changed and the situations are for creative purposes only. Some sexual acts may occur, so do not be shocked. This story is now copyright 2003 by Synergy/Trancemonster. The whole purpose for the new name Synergy, which is also my pen name, is that it stands for creating illusions. I want to create a comfort zone for those who feel ashamed of who they really are. Being gay is not a disease, it's a great gift that we should all cherish. If you copy the story or would like to send any comments concerning the series, please contact me at synergyoflight@yahoo.com The Many Faces Samuel Chapter Seven "River Of Tears Part Two" With that he shown me to Randy's room and patted me on the back on his way back to the ER. I opened the door and there laid the star I wished upon many, many years ago. His eyes were weak, but still he looked more beautiful than ever. The closer I got to his bed, the more I felt like crying. I did not know what to say to him in this state. Finally, we were side by side staring into each other's eyes. Randy then grabbed my hand and spoke "Why don't you love me?" Those words seemed to cut through like a knife; slicing through my already fragile state. How could he say something or even think of such? But then again, do I really love him as more than friends? These were the kind of questions I never asked myself and never thought I had to. Me and Randy have been best friends for so long and something "more" than that might not be the best thing. As I pondered these thoughts, gently I crested his hand finally requesting his answer. "Randall...I do love you...So very much so, so much that it hurts when you are not around....Its just....I..." "Just you what?....If you love me...then why did you kiss Seth?" "I dont know...And as for the kiss...Seth kissed me and I kissed him back, because....." Tears then developed in my eyes. "Because what Samuel? Talk to me..I need to know." ".....Because I wanted to kiss him back....I dont why..I just couldnt help myself..Im so sorry....Please I wasn't thinking.." By then the tears became full on waterworks from all the pain inside. Never before have I considered any other guy than Randy; and to tell you the truth it hurt. The truth not only hurt me, but it has also hurt Randy even more. How could I tell him this in his state of health? My mother had always told me that you should tell someone the truth before it's too late. Was it the best thing to do? What hurt more was to find that he let go of my hand and faced the other way. Tears were also in his eyes, but the sadness warped into anger. I asked for him to look at me, but he refused as if he did not hear me. He then told me to leave, but I would not, not now. "I SAID LEAVE SAM!..GET OUT!" "No Randy, I can't leave you like this! Just talk to me..Tell me how you feel?" "You wanna know how I feel?...Do you really want to know?" "Yes I do..." "I'm in the hospital because of a car hitting me...It hit me because the tears in MY EYES blinded me from seeing the car...Those tears...was because of you...YOU kissing HIM!...But that was a car and yeah it hurt me. And yeah it put me here...But.....But....You hurt me more than that car did.. Three times more! So just get the FUCK out!" "Randy Im sorry....Please..Im begging..let me explain.." "I DO NOT most certainly DO NOT want to hear anything that you have to say to me...So just go..." I just stood there watching him rage at me, the one person that he could always rely on had failed. So at his request I left in a hurry, not looking back. As I walked out of the room into the hallway, everyone noticed the look on my face. Jessica tried to stop me to ask what was wrong, but I made my way to the elevator. To the elevator and so I left. ************************************************************************* About a week later Randy was released from the hospital. I would not have known if it wasn't for Jessica. Things have most certainly have not been the same. Of course it wouldn't be with the situation me and Randy are having. I miss his presence more than ever, because we were together everyday. My mother noticed the change in me, but I told her it was nothing to worry about. Nothing to worry about huh, I beg to differ. The days turned into weeks and weeks into two months. And in those few months the winter brought snow. In a few weeks it would be Christmas, the time when the ones you love unite. I had my mother and Jessica, but still no Randy. He pretty much forgot that I ever existed. It was strange how much time had past, mostly because I spent the majority in another world. Not only another world, but another "face". The Samuel everyone knew had changed, not in appearance, but somewhere deeper than that. But I keep telling myself that change is a good thing, even when you do want to. But I am not going to give up on him, never. Randy cannot go on for the rest of his life hating me. This brings us to a day in school where I got the courage to face him. Earlier that morning, I placed a letter in his locker for him to meet me at the pier after school. There was some doubts about him showing up, but he had to admire me trying. The whole day seemed to drag on as I was ready to express myself, my sorrow to him. Life was not the same without him, because I did not feel complete. The things that I lacked, he made up for it. It was to say two plus two cannot be a whole four without either one. The classes we had together did not really encourage me any, because he would not even bother to look. Except in computer class, when he caught a glance, more like he was questioning my actions. But we would see in a few more minutes. And I bet you all are wondering about Seth right? Well, as it turns out me and him are still friends, "only" friends. At first he was not to keen about the idea, but he later agreed to it. Actually, he never left my side doing my moments of depression. But he can never replace Randy, no one could ever do that. And need we not forget about Jessica, she let me know about what was going on in Randy's life. She was the one with the letter idea, because she knew Randy could not continue on like this. When the last bell rang I made ever so quicky to my locker, excited like a kid at an amusement park. As I put my books away, two hands were felt on my back. As so I turned to see it was Jessica and Seth. "Hi guys! You scared me..hehe." "Oh we didn't mean to Sammie...So are you ready?...I think Randy will show up.." said promising Jessica. "Well I hope he does Jess, because I just don't know what if he doesn't" "He will show bud...If it wasn't for me you wouldnt be in this mess..I wish I had of used my brains and realized you two were a couple." said Seth. " No Seth I should have told you...but in the meanwhile I better go before he thinks it was a dirty joke..BYE!" And it was off to the place where all the trouble started, where everything changed. The weather was quite cold, but my coat kept me warm along the way. At the pier I spotted him staring out at the ocean. The wind blew against his beautiful shaggish blonde hair, it appeared nothing was bothering him. To look at him you would immediately consider him a surfer type. And yes there are surfer types here in New England. Before we both knew it we were inches apart, closer than it has been for awhile. He looked at me and gave a weak smile. All I could do was to look at him, because he changed a bit. His blonde hair is still slighty darker making him look a bit older. And maybe it was just me, but he has more muscle mass. It amazed me how much he changed in just a few months, but what fifteen year doesn't change? He then opened his mouth, this time with no harsh words. I did not hear what he said until a seagull flew near me. "Samuel? Why did you want to meet here?" "Umm I wanted to explain myself and to say that I'm not the same and..." "I noticed." "You have? But.." "I've been watching you." "You have? But.." "Sam you already said that already." With that Randy giggles at bit. "Oh umm....Your not mad?" "You bet I was, but I shouldn't have dealt with it that I did..." "No you have every right to.." "Not really, I've been thinking since the time we spent apart and things started to make sense." "Things such as?" "How we rushed into this whole boyfriend thing. I know we were already best friends, but it went to fast. I mean we skipped the dating thing and plenty of the steps." "Yeah, but that's still no reason for what I had done. Really, I don't blame you for not wanting me as a boyfriend anymore." "But I do Samuel....Just because I didn't talk to doesn't mean I don't love you still...Just think, we never went on a date...And..and we never spent time alone doing couple stuff...Most of all, we never sat down and talked about a relationship..Just jumped into it..." "Yeah I've been thinking the same too..Everything you just said was what I was going to say to you.....So best friends again?" "We never stopped being best friends Sam...But I didn't really help you realize that....I want to take you out on a date tommorrow night, just you and me..." "Really?!...Omigod!!..Hmmmm...Yes..hehe..." With that I jumped into his arms for a long awaited hug. You know I actually thought this meeting would end our friendship. But when you love someone so much, you would try everything in your power to keep them. We have a bond that no one can destroy, because it was meant to be. He loosen our embrace for a soft warm passionate kiss, boy did I miss those lips. Tommorrow would be Friday, not just any other Friday though. This would be the start of a new era for the both of us. The many faces of that I've experienced were anger, sadness, fear, loss, and most of all growth. Now the only face I have to worry about now is fashion. What am I going to wear on my first date with Randy!! ************************************************************************** Well there you have it, the long awaited Chapter Seven!! Im am deeply sorry for not posting it any sooner, but my life has had it's trials. With school and work, I never had time to even think!..HEHE..Well, Chapter Eight is in develpment, so please keep checking...And please write to me and tell me what you think about chapter Seven...I'd love to hear from you guys..Just e-mail me at synergyoflight@yahoo.com