Date: Fri, 23 Sep 2011 01:14:34 -0400 From: Jesse Jesse Subject: Matthew, My Love Part 7 "Alex...you, you can talk? Alex! You can talk!" I was immediately crushed by muscular arms, and smothered with kisses. "I can't believe this! How long have you been able to speak again?" "Well, I've been able to speak for a while, but I didn't want to tell you until I was ready. I wanted to be able to say exactly what I was thinking...I love you." I was constantly amazed in Matthew's complexity. Here stood before me a hulking young "jock," crying joyfully. "And I love you." I woke up that next morning feeling nerves and excitement all at once. Today was going to be the first time I'd used my voice in school in over six months now. Most of my classmates had resound themselves to the fact that I was unable to speak, and had just gotten used to my silence. Now, were they going to be in for a surprise! First came Mrs. Black. She nearly stumbled into one of the brick pillars supporting the breezeway between buildings at my mere "Good morning." After her, there was Coach Miller. Even though I wasn't on any of the sports teams, almost everyone knew me as "that mute kid." He just about spilled his whole cup of scalding coffee, choking and spewing as I nodded and said "good morning coach!" All in all, it turned out to be a better morning than I though. Most people were very interested to hear my story, how I'd been attacked (I still denied knowing who had attacked me), and how I'd began therapy for recovery. For once in my life, I felt like people actually knew, and cared who I was. My victorious day, however, did not last. After lunch, Kyle and myself headed to our afternoon Band class, second to last class of the day. Kyle was still in unbelief at my recovery, and the fact that I hadn't told him until today. As we rounded a corner of the hall leading to the music hall, we heard angry shouting. "Fuck you, Harris! I'm sick of your fucking shit!" It was Matthew! I rushed around the corner to find Matthew and Buddy Harris in a standoff, even some of the teachers not daring to stand between them. Buddy sneered at Matthew, and howled with laughter when he caught sight of me behind Matthew. "Oh, your little prick's here to help you, Matt. Little shit's come to help his daddy out!" I felt my face go red. Half of the school standing around us was laughing, while the other half stood back in terror, but it wasn't the humiliation that scared me. There was a flash of body, something that could only be described as a howl, and then a sickening thud as two bodies made contact with the hard floor. Matthew had finally reached his limit with Buddy Harris, and Buddy was paying the price. He didn't have a chance to throw a punch himself. Matthew was all fists, making contact all over Buddy's body. Blood began streaming across the floor from what I could only guess was Buddy's broken nose, and still Matthew continued. "I am fucking sick of your ass! You've been a pain in my ass ever since elementary school. You've made Alex's life a living hell all these years, the only person in this world that I care about with my whole heart and love!" The silence was deafening. Even Matthew had stopped thrashing about at the realization of what he'd said. People began shuffling back from the heap that was Matthew and Buddy, focusing on me. Buddy pushed free and rose sneering at Matthew. "You what? Did you just say you LOVE him? I can't believe this! Am I really hearing right? The Great Matthew Letterman is GAY?!? You're a fucking queer?!?" Matthew began faltering backwards. I had seen a great many emotions from Matthew Letter, but this wasn't one of them. This was sheer panic, a sheer mind-blowing terror of not knowing what to say next. I edged my way through the few people between myself and Matthew and took him by the arm. "Let's get out of here." He jumped at my touch, jerking away and looking at me in horror. The pain of him rejecting me pierced my very soul, but I knew I couldn't let it show, not here, in front of Buddy. I would not give him that victory. "Look Matthew, you're upset. This asshole's a bloody mess. If you don't get out of here, with your temper, you'll be in more trouble than you're already gonna be in!" My plea worked. Slowly he began to regain use of his legs and followed me down the hall, out the front doors to the parking lot, and into his truck. He still seemed in no condition to drive, so I half-coaxed, half-shoved him into the passenger seat and started the truck. I didn't know where I was going, anywhere but here. All I knew was that I drove for what seemed like an eternity in the silence, finally ending up at a familiar, and rather sentimental, fishing spot by the river. We sat on the river bank listening to the water, not daring to look at each other. I couldn't bring myself to look into his face. How was I suppose to translate his pulling, no jerking violently away from me in front of everyone? Was he merely caught off guard, or was it rejection? " Was this how my life was going to be? Six months of happiness, only to be cut short? "Alex, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to push you away back there. I panicked, I wasn't thinking clearly. Actually, I wasn't thinking at all. But I owe you an apology for something even worse. In all these months we've been together, I never gave one thought about telling anyone. I never thought about telling either of our friends about us. I've been very selfish about this whole thing. All you've ever asked of me was love. I've tried to give you the love, but I've never been man enough to take a stand for us." I couldn't stand it anymore, "Matthew, please stop. You're not the only one who's at fault here. Yes, I've asked much more than love. You've been everything to me, from the first day we ever met each other. You've been my lover, my protector, my provider. Hell, I'm living in your parents house! All I've done is take." Matthew pulled me roughly to him, "listen to me, if I hadn't wanted to protect you, I never would have done it! I've loved you because I wanted to! There'll be no more discussion about that. I may be bigger than you physically, but you're the one that's protected my heart! You've given me a wonderful gift that no one else has. You've given me your heart. Do you think any of my friends have ever really loved me for me? Hell, it's always been `you need to buff up a little if you're gonna make the team,' or `Matthew, if you and I go out, you HAVE to meet my friend so-n-so...she'll be so jealous that I'm dating a football player` or `hey man, you`ve GOT to come to so-n-so`s party. Don`t bring him or her, they`re such a loser. No, you need to find a hot date to bring. It`ll look better.' Do you think I've ever really felt love with those people? No, Alex! It's you. You're the one that's shown me love, and you're the one I want to show love to. From now on, there's not secrets. Everyone will know that I, Matthew Andrew Letterman love you, Alexander Toby Duncan with all my heart!" I had made my mind up, Buddy Harris was gonna get his! And what's more, I was gonna be the one to do it. Yesterday's episode with Buddy and Matthew had been the last straw. For years I'd watched Buddy's cruelty to others, his constant mocking and belittling, and the most infuriating part was that everybody but Buddy seemed to pay the price. Not again! So, with careful consideration and timing, I formed a plan. The first thing I needed was something of dad's (Robert had finally thrown his hands up in mock-exasperation and declared, "you've obviously slept together, and you're living with us, so all I know is welcome to the family!"). Specifically, I need his prized "Smith & Wesson," and this wouldn't be an easy task. I had to wait up one night `till almost four o'clock just to finally hear everyone sleeping soundly enough that I wasn't afraid to creep down the stairs and into dad's man-cave. The gun cabinet was never locked, so getting access to the guns weren't a problem. Carefully, taking every care to leave the empty case exactly as I'd found it, so as not to draw unwanted attention, I unloaded the small revolver except for two bullets, wrapped it in some socks, and placed it in the bottom of my backpack. "I've got some stuff to do after school today, so I won't be riding home with you. I've got to finish my tutoring session today, so I don't lose my extra credit." It wasn't a lie, I'd already spoken with Mr. Banks, the teacher in charge of study hall and extra credit, telling him that I'd be working a little late today. "Oh, okay, I've got a ton of homework to do for next week. I hate to leave you by yourself, though." Matthew stroked my back as gently as if he were petting a puppy. I couldn't resist the urge to give him a little peck, in spite of his dad mocking a retching sound from the doorway. "I'll be fine. I'll call you when I'm ready." The rest of the day came and went without incident. Oh, sure, everyone treated us differently now. There were several of Matthew's old friends who'd stopped talking to him altogether, and some of the class now whispered behind our backs as we walked down the halls, but I'd somehow come to the point that I didn't care anymore. So, after excusing myself from after school study hall when my last student left, I made sure to take the long way around the school, looking for Buddy. I didn't have too far to go. Buddy, as it turned out, was waiting on me in the deserted parking lot. "Hey, look who it is. The little queer piece of shit." I tried to act as natural as possible, if anything, acting as though I were still afraid of him. "All right, you little shit. You're gay? Well, we'll see what we can do about that. Get in the car. Get in the back seat. You wanna be a little female pussy, well I`ve got something for you to wear, now get it!" and amazingly to even myself, I did! Buddy slammed my book bag in the back seat started the car and sped out of the parking lot, sneering at me in the mirror the whole time. "Now, you little sick cunt. If you're so gay, you can do `ole Buddy a favor!" The sight the began to unfold before me made me want to be violently sick. Buddy, while driving with one hand, was unbuttoning and unzipping his pants with the other. He bucked his hips and jerked down his pants and underwear in one fluid motion. His dick sprang to life in front of me. He was turned on by this! This huge oaf that had made my life hell for "being queer" was turned on by this! "All right, puss-head, there's something in that bag. Get it out, and put it on!" I reached into the plastic bag and pulled out an old, worn kitchen apron. "Yeah, that's right. You wanna be a girl, you're gonna get to dress the part. Put it on!" Buddy started jacking off in front of me. I thought I would puke before I'd get my "plan" finished." As Buddy drove, all the time fondling his dick, he became distracted more by insulting me and making threats than really paying attention to what I was doing, which was just want I hoped. I began removing my shirt, shoes, and socks with one hand, all the while slowly, and most important, quietly unzipping my backpack. At first I was terrified that I wouldn't get the gun out before Buddy realized what was happening, but finally it came free, losing the sock wrapping as it did. I don't know what I enjoyed the most of the next few moments, the look on Buddy's face when he realized there was a pistol stuck to the side of his head, or the crying and wailing that he did while driving where I told him. I directed him to a remote side road where Matthew had brought me several months back, and then off the road onto a dirt track, miles away from town. We drove until the car would no longer tackle the rugged road, and then I forced him to get out of the car. After getting out of the car, it was my turn to talk dirty. "All right, you stupid redneck prick! You're gonna listen to me! ( At this I fired a shot into the air, to make absolutely sure that Buddy knew I wasn't kidding. ) First, you're gonna set your cell phone to take a video, and then you're gonna hand it to me. Do it now! Good boy, now (after pressing the button on the phone to film) get over here and take my clothes off! All right, you little prick, get your clothes off, and be sure and smile for the camera!" The next few minutes were the funniest, most vindictive, cruelest moments of my life. Never had I done anything like this before. Buddy danced and did flips. I even forced him to say things like "I love Alex's cock," but the cruelest part of all was when I forced him to come over and touch my dick. Now, don't get me wrong. There's only one person who get's to truly be intimate with my body, and Matthew knows that my body is his. No one else's, but I was determined to pay Buddy back for all those years of harassment and pain, all those remarks and comments meant to embarrass me. Though I'd said this before, Buddy had made my life a living hell, and I was determined that he would finally know that he'd screwed with the wrong guy! So, for the next hour, I made him pose while I clicked picture after picture with his and my phones both, making sure to force him into positions that there would be no denying what (supposedly) was happening. He cried and wailed, cursed and threatened, but I didn't care. By the time I was finished with this plan, Buddy Harris would rue the day he ever fucked with me! Finally growing bored with my torture victim, I made Buddy pick up all our things and, making sure to keep him convinced that I had my gun trained on him, drive us back to town, COMPLETELY NAKED. I kept the gun in constant contact with his temple on the way back to town. ( Even Buddy wasn't so stupid that he couldn't see what I had planned next.) We pulled up to the town square, and all the time keeping my gun out of sight of anyone in town, but carefully where Buddy could still see it pointed at him, I forced him out of the car and onto the sidewalk. There, on the square of our tiny mountain town, stood Buddy Harris without a stitch on for all the world to see. "Now, Buddy, you've been a good boy today, so as reward, I'm not gonna damage your car, but just remember...I'm keeping your cell phone and mine, so you say anything about this at school, or if you even go to the police, I'll show the world what a naughty boy you've been!," and with that I left Buddy Harris to try and find a way home, leaving his car just a few miles out of town, after I'd put my clothes back on. Matthew came driving up looking suspicious. "What the hell are you doing in Buddy's car?" I couldn't help but smile, and immediately pounce on him. "Let's go to the fishing hole." Later that evening, Matthew, still heaving and out of breathe, was not satisfied. "You've still not answered my question. Where have you been this evening, and why were you driving Buddy's car?" I tried to smile sweetly and innocently, knowing that the phones were by that time stashed where no one but me would ever find them, "why not wait and find out." "Robert!!!!!!!!Matthew!!!!!!!!Alex!!!!!! Get in here! You've got to see this morning's newspaper headlines! "LOCAL TEENAGER ARRESTED FOR STREAKING ON TOWN SQUARE"