Date: Mon, 21 Nov 2011 02:50:43 -0500 From: Jesse Jesse Subject: Matthew, My Love Pt 9 Drew jumped from the sleeping back, sending me rolling unceremoniously along the ground in his wake. "Matt, I can...," but his face was met by Matthew's fist. There was a sickening crack, and Drew's nose began bleeding profusely. "Save it, you son of a bitch! I can't believe you did this!" I found myself standing, drawing the sleeping bag around my waist as I did. "Matthew, I'm afraid this can't all be blamed on Drew. We were both drunk last night. If you're gonna be angry with him, you'll have to be more angry at me." The cold look that met my words quelled any other explanations I had. "Oh, you needn't worry. Angry isn't the word. How could you do this? After all I've done for you, all my life's been through, just for you, how could you fucking stab me in the back like this?" Tears stung the corners of my eyes. I couldn't deny what he'd just said. I had committed the ultimate betrayal. Even now in school, it was a known thing that Matthew and I were in a serious relationship, whether accepted or not. How could I have done this, when he'd given so much for me? Here this selfless, loving young man had sacrificed his entire world as he'd know it for me, only to have me and his best friend betray him. Within just a few moments Matthew was packed and ready to leave. Drew and I asked no questions; we merely followed his unspoken leading, and began packing our own things. A few miles down from the trail brought us to a payphone, and in just a couple of hours we were riding in the back of Matthew's parents' car towards home. The ride home was quite and tense. Though he didn't speak of anything that had happened to his parents, Matthew didn't speak to me or Drew either. He sat against the door, obviously making every possible attempt at distancing himself from us, half looking like a thunder cloud, half looking like a wounded animal. Never had I wanted so badly to reach out and comfort him, to do anything I could to ease his pain, but the heart wrenching truth was that I had caused the pain. I was part of the reason we all felt the way we did! Had I thought the ride home was misery, the next few days made that time seem like a joyous vacation. For almost two weeks Matthew made every attempt possible to avoid contact with me, going out of his way to stay busy around the house, finding reasons to `go into town,' and even taking a few trips with his old jock friends. Smiles across the dinner table were ignored and shunned, efforts to take his hand or touch his hair were shoved away. It was obvious that I was the last thing Matthew wanted. Finally began the nights when he didn't come home at all. Though his parents had never questioned, it was clear that they knew I had some influence as to Matthew's behavior. Finally one evening Robert came sidling into the bedroom, his brow knitted seriously. "Alex, I need to ask you something." My heart fell. I knew perfectly well what Robert planned to ask. "What's happened between you and Matthew? It used to be that you were inseparable. He talked about you so much that his mom and I wanted to tell him to shut up. Now, after you guys came home, it's like he want's nothing to do with you. What happened?" What little control I'd fought so hard to grasp left me at those words. Try as I might to dissuade them, the sobs came, wracking through my body uncontrollably. Tears streamed until my entire shirt-front was wet. I couldn't believe the bittersweet relief I felt at telling Matthew's father. Robert listened patiently as I explained everything, making no comments and offering no looks of disdain. Only after I'd completely finished, my body still jerking uncontrollably from sobs, did Robert speak. "Alex, I'm not going to tell you what you've done was wrong. You know that already. I'm also not gonna tell you that Matthew's just gonna simply come through that door with his arms out for you. Unfortunately, there are some hurts and pains that a simple `I'm sorry' don't fix. They take time. Matthew's gonna have to work this out. What I will tell you is that I know, beyond any shadow of doubt, that Matthew love's you. It's as obvious as the sun shining in the sky. I see it on his face when he look's at you, or in the way he put's his arm around your shoulder. I may not understand your relationship, as far as you both being young men, but I know that my son loves you!" Though the next few weeks didn't show drastic improvements in Matthew's acknowledgement that I existed, my spirits did rise some. Robert had never told his wife about what I'd confided in him, and it was plain to see that Matthew hadn't either. More than one time I caught her fussing in a whisper to her husband that `she wished she knew what was going on around here with her own son.' But to know that I did have one person who I could talk to, confide in, was a relief and comfort all it's own. This relief was to be short-lived and viciously taken away. Both Matthew's parents and myself had been acutely aware for some while that he'd been staying out later and later during the night, coming in more than one time half drunk himself. His father had scolded and verbally reprimanded numerous times, but to no avail. My friend Kyle had brought me news more than once that Matthew had been spotted `with the jocks' again. But the news that came from the extended telephone call between Matthew's father and another family who's name sounded vaguely familiar, brought the news that truly pulled all hope from under my life. The conversation lasted for what I counted to be almost two hours, Robert's voice sounding more grave with every word. "Right, yes, we'll take the responsibility. Yes, you'll hear from my lawyer within the next few days." I turned to leave from where I'd been eavesdropping in the doorway, but was stopped by Robert's serious tone. "Alex, you'd better wait, son. I'm afraid I've got some news that's gonna have a drastic effect on you." Again I felt the familiar lurch of my stomach. What could possibly cause Robert, who was normally the bubbliest, most happy-go-lucky person I'd ever met, to wear such a pained, almost tired, weary expression? "Alex, there's no easy way to put this, so you might as well know. That was the Henderson family's lawyer. Matthew and their daughter, the Henderson family that is, are expecting. She's pregnant, and the tests have returned proof positive that Matthew's the father. Alex, Matthew and this girl are going to have a baby!"