Chapter 1, Part 1 - The Beginning
It had been half a year now. Funny, I never really noticed him in the class, but now I was beginning to become more and more interested. Hi, my name is Blake, and as you can guess already, I'm gay. If you didn't guess it, well...I'm gay. I'm 15, about 5'8" tall. I have dark brown hair, and blue eyes. I've been told that I look cute, but that was almost 4 years ago, when I was in primary school. Now I'm in high school, and it's an all-boys school. I never got those 'cute' comments anymore. Now it's only the, 'he's becoming a very handsome young man' comments. But I only got them from aunts and uncles. Anyway, it has been half a year since Sean walked into my life, and I never really took much notice of him. He was just another face in the crowd. It was only until the last couple of months, where I seemed to be paying more and more attention to him. I knew what was going on. I was having a crush on him. But for some reason, the feelings I had for him, were somewhat stronger than a crush...it was more powerful.
Sean is also 15, and is shorter than your average 15 year old. He has blond hair, combed neatly everyday to the right. Funny how you pay special attention to these things. I don't know how the hell he does it, but it never changed. It looked the same everyday, and he looked so good. He also had these large hazel eyes, that were....so incredible. You look at them, and they'll trap you in it's gaze. His eyes were so beautiful.
Sometimes in the morning, when I arrive at school, Sean walks past me. He looks so incredible in the morning. His hair is longer on the right side, cause he combs it that way, and sometimes he comes to school, while it's still wet. Damn! He looks good enough to eat off. He was also the shy kid in school. Another quality that made me like him even more. During class, he always sat at the front of the room. This always gave me the pleasure of looking at him, and that nice cute little butt of his. As I said before, he was smaller than your average 15 year old...which made him kind of fragile. He was like a delicate piece of crystal. You'd want to hold it in your hands and admire it's beauty, but you don't want it to break. That was exactly how Sean was. I hadn't talked much to him, in fact I hadn't talked to him at all...and now I was just dying for a chance to talk to him.
My chance came one day. It was a Thursday, and I thought it would be a day like any other. Boy, was I wrong. I came to school, and put my books in my locker. I was going to go to the cafeteria for a bite to eat, when Sean walked passed me. It was a cold morning, and I could see the fog come out of his mouth when he breathed. He had his bag, over his right shoulder, and his hair was still wet, probably from this mornings shower. He looked so cute when he walked, it was kind of like James Dean. I walked passed him, trying to not make it too obvious that I was looking at him. I thought to myself, 'Keep dreaming...you can look, but you'll never touch.' It had been a couple of months since I had this crush on Sean, and I had grown to accept my little saying. So, I didn't take it too hard.
Didn't take it too hard?!? After seeing him walk past me, and not even say a word made me lose my appetite. I didn't feel like eating anymore. I didn't know what to do. If I went back to my locker, I'd run the chance of seeing him again. Then he'd know that I had walked to the cafeteria, saw him, and maybe followed him back to the lockers. This crush was absolutely killing me. I guess I didn't really accept my 'Keep dreaming...you can look, but you'll never touch' philosophy.
Well, the day went by like any other...."BORING!" That was until lunch time. My friend Andrew, had somewhat become more familiar with Sean than I had. How, I'll never know. Andrew, was the same height as I was. He had nice blonde hair, and blue eyes. I even had a crush on him once. I don't know, maybe I still do. But I feel differently about Andrew than I did about Sean. But Andrew was a Sex GOD! He could have anyone he wanted in the world, and I mean anyone...either boy or girl. He had the most beautiful body, and that ass! It was the most amazing bubble-butt I had ever seen. Maybe I should tell him not to wear such tight pants all the time! He and Sean, had been together in more classes than I had. But Andrew was totally straight. He was the wild kind. Always taking chances. He never studied for tests, was always acting cool. The wierd thing was, that he never studied for tests, and stuff like that, but he always managed to get higher grades than I did. I don't know how the hell he does it, but he manages to always beat me. I'm guessing that he probably cheats during tests, but I'm not one to point the finger. I don't really care. Anyway, we've been the best of friends for ages now...ever since we started schooling in fact!
"Sean, you're a disgrace!" Andrew said. I had just walked out of the locker room, and found Andrew, picking on Sean. Well, you could kinda call it picking on. Sean was doing the proper thing, and ignoring the comments. "You're a disgrace Sean" Andrew repeated with a sly smile. This line that came from Andrew's mouth was not unfamiliar to me. It was kinda like his catchphrase. He said it all the time to Sean, and only to Sean. Sean had grown accustomed to this line. I think Andrew did this to Sean because he was smaller than us. It's probably where Andrew gets his power from. Y'know, the bullying thing that goes around in school. But it was different with Andrew and Sean. Andrew was kinda just playing, but I think today, Sean had had enough.
"Look, just shut up" Sean said, somewhat annoyed. "Oooh, quiet boy's becoming pissed?" said Andrew teasingly. I had a crush on Sean. That's why I stepped in. "Why are you always saying that?" I asked Andrew, in an annoyed tone. Andrew was surprised with me interrupting his little fun time. "What?!" he said. "Why are you always saying those things to Sean? What has he ever done to you?" I asked, trying to contain my feelings. Sean, had grown quiet, and decided to watch the show. "Blake, what has this got to do with you?" asked Andrew. I went quiet for a moment, "Look, if I'm getting annoyed with you saying that line over and over again, I'm sure Sean is sick of it too." Andrew was definitely pissed. "Forget you!" he said, before walking off. I felt really bad. Andrew was my best friend. I didn't do anything wrong. I just wanted him to stop picking on Sean. SEAN! I was standing there alone with Sean. I was staring at the ground, when I felt a hand on my shoulder! "Um...thanks Blake...I really appreciate it" he said in a shy and quiet voice. "No problem. I don't know why he's always like that. You're not a disgrace, I think you're great." Oh SHIT! I'm cutting it a little too close. 'Get out of there!' I thought to myself. "Um...thanks...I guess" said Sean giving me a quick stare of curiousity before staring at the ground. I've made him uncomfortable! "Look..uh...I gotta go" I said before running off in the direction Andrew had gone off to. I thought I heard him call me back, but it could've been anyone.
I ran to the back of the school. It was Andrew's and my little hiding place. The school can be a bit of a hectic place. We go there because it's always quiet, and there's no one ever there. I found Andrew there. When he looked up and saw me walking toward him, he got up, and began to walk away. "Andrew wait!" I shouted. He stopped in his tracks, back still turned to me. "What do you want?" he asked. "I just wanted to talk to you" I said. "Make it quick." "I'm not going to talk to your back" I said, gaining control over the conversation. "Andrew, I just wanted to know why you keep hassling Sean?" I said. "It's just....ya'know fun. I get a kick out of it" he answered, his voice toning down a little bit. "Ok. But have you ever thought about how Sean felt? I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone did it to you" I said, even though I knew no one would ever do that to him. "Blake, you're beginning to sound like my mother" he said. I shook my head. "Let's just forget this incident ever happened okay?" I said, giving in. I knew Andrew would never change. He's the wild kind of guy. "Okay" he answered. We began to walk back to the locker room. "Ya'know, I didn't really get pissed back there" he admitted. "Really? I knew you weren't the one to get pissed that easily" I told him. "It's just that, we rarely have any disagreements, and I just had to get out of there for a moment. I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship" he said. "I understand. It didn't feel good when you just went off like that" I said. "Sorry dude" he said, as he stuck out his hand. We shook hands and headed off.
Chapter 1, Part 2
As we walked back to our lockers, the bell went for our next class. Math. Ungh! Great. Andrew and I got our books, and headed off to class. "So why did you defend Sean?" asked Andrew. Being smarter than usual, I thought about it before I said anything. "Well, why were you teasing him? Just because you get a kick out of it, doesn't give you the right to do it" I said in reply. "Okay, okay, forget I said anything. Hurry up or we're going to be late."
As usual Andrew and I made our way to the back of the classroom. We started talking, seeing as the teacher hadn't come yet. "The teacher's late, and you were telling me to hurry up?!" I said. "Hey sorry dude...didn't know she'd be late. Funny though, she's never late." After Andrew had said that, Sean had stepped into the room, books in hand, and staring in my direction. I tried to look away, to make it seem as if I was talking to Andrew. "Dude what's wrong?" asked Andrew. I had been spacing out big time. "Uh...nothing. Just feeling a little light-headed, that's all" I replied. It was ironic though, because it was half true. I was feeling dizzy all of a sudden. "You need to go get a drink of water or something?" Andrew asked in genuine concern. "Nah, I'll be okay" I tried to reassure him.
Without any warning, the next thing I knew, the seat next to me was taken. I looked to the other side of me, expecting to see some nerd wearing glasses or something. SEAN! I almost gasped out loud. He saw me look, and sent me a heart-warm smile. "Hi" he said. "Hey" I said, quickly assuming my normal behaviour. My heart was beating 100 times faster than normal. I could feel my face growing red. "You know what Andrew? I think I'll just quickly go the bathroom to get a drink of water. Tell old 'Mac' I wasn't feeling too well. Be back in a sec" I said, as I headed out of the classroom, and towards the bathroom. I went in, and turned on the tap. I looked in the mirror. I definitely looked better than I felt. 'Relax Blake...all you gotta do is act yourself' I told myself. I splashed some water on my face, before heading back to class.
"Blake?" said a voice, as I walked back into the room. "Yes sir?" A teacher I had never seen before. "Feeling better?" asked the teacher. "Yes sir, just needed some water." "Okay, take your seat" he smiled. I headed back to the back of the room and took my seat, trying to ignore the fact that Sean was there. "Sub?" I asked Andrew. He nodded. "For those of you who don't know me, I am Mr. Williams. I'm substituting for your teacher Mrs. Mac. She has a case of the flu, and won't be here for the rest of the week." There was cheering from everyone. "Now, your work for today..." The cheers quickly died down. Sean then leaned in close to me, and whispered, "it's great that Mrs Mac isn't here." It took me a second to comprehend what he had said. I was so excited by the way he was whispering...it was so....sexy! "Yeah" I replied. I tried to think of what to say. I didn't want to not talk to him. But then again, I didn't know what to say to him. I wanted to talk to him real bad. The lesson went on, speechless.
At the end of the lesson, I finally gathered enough courage to talk to Sean. I had to talk to him. I felt really bad for not talking to him. He had made some vague attempts to talk to me...and I didn't. Just as we were leaving class, I called to Sean. "Sean..." but he just walked off. Walked off? He was trying to get away from me! What had I done?! I wanted to go after him, but I was in a half state of shock. I had probably blown my chances with the one guy I had a chance with. What am I going to do?
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