Chapter 2, Part 1 - Taking A Chance
I can't believe I'm actually doing this. Am I really this desperate to have to do this? Here I am, standing in front of Sean's house feeling the need to talk to him, and having no idea what to say. I couldn't stand the idea that maybe he was pissed at me, and that was why I was here. I'll just tell him the truth...I think. Wait a minute...which truth? The one where I tell him I'm gay, and I'm in love with him, or the one where I just can't stand the feeling of anybody not liking me? Either way, I'll sound like a complete idiot. All I really wanted to do was to hear that sweet soft voice of his. I wanted to look into those beautiful hazel eyes and become lost in them. I had come this far already, I had to proceed.
'Knock! Knock!' I stood patiently, frantically thinking of something to say to him. Anything! The door opened, and Sean's beautiful face came into view. "Blake! Um...hi...what're you doing here?" he asked. "Well...I was just around...and I...well frankly...I just wanted to talk with you," I said. Sean gave me a puzzled look. I was waiting for him to kick me off the doorstep or something. My heart was beating a hundred times faster than usual. My palms were sweaty, and my face felt hot. I suddenly regretted what I had said. I shouldn't have come here...this was a stupid idea. I can't believe I just said that! "About wha...I mean...sure...you wanna come in?" he asked, maybe a little surprised from what I said. Whoah! "Yeah thanks," I replied. He opened the door the rest of the way, and allowed me to enter. I couldn't believe I was doing this. I was actually inside his house! This was something that I thought that I would only dream about...something that would never happen...but here I was and this is really happening!
Sean led the way, and I couldn't stop myself from staring at that beautiful soft ass of his. Well, I couldn't be sure that they were soft, but the look of them told me so. I followed Sean into the lounge, where the television was on. "Have a seat...d'ya want anything to drink?" he asked. He had such nice manners too...his whole being was true good to be true. "Nah thanks...I'm fine," I replied, as I sat down on one of the sofa's. Sean sat down on the other end of the sofa, and watched the television program. I had no idea what to do now...no idea what to say. I felt nervous. He was probably sitting there waiting for me to say something...after all, I was the one who wanted to come here and talk to him in the first place. I was probably making him nervous. Come on Blake! Say SOMETHING! "So...well...I was just thinking...just then...um...before when we left class...I called your name out, and you kinda left without saying anything...I was ju..." I started. "Oh, I thought...that I just imagined it...y'know...I probably didn't hear it properly...sorry Blake," he said as he looked me in the eye. Something about those beautiful eyes made me want to stare at them forever, but I had to look away. "Oh...I thought maybe you were mad at me or something," I managed to say. He looked at me from the side of his eye, mouth slightly open. "Well...I...wasn't," he said. "I know," I replied. Boy, was he just getting weird on me or something? Maybe it was my presence that was making him like this. He's not gay, he doesn't like me...I should just leave.
"Yeah, okay...thanks for your hospitality...I should be going," I said as I started to get up. "No don't go...I mean...my parents don't get home till late...you wanna stay awhile longer?" he asked me, as he got up. I then figured out why he was acting so weird. He probably wasn't used to having company. He seemed so lonely and helpless...like a lost little puppy, so I decided to stay a while longer. "Yeah sure...why not." "Cool," he smiled. Oh! That smile...so cute...so adorable. I didn't notice myself, but I was smiling. I sat back down as Sean did so too. His eyes returned to the television screen, and I found myself staring at him. I tried not to look, but my eyes couldn't stay on the television screen for more than 2 seconds, without having to take another glance at Sean. He must've noticed it. Must have! Unless his eyes stay totally glued to the television when he watches it. Then he looked at me, and I quickly returned my eyes to the television. I interrupted him as he was about to speak, "Sean, you think I could still get that drink on offer?" He smiled, "Sure." He motioned for me to follow him into the kitchen, and I followed. He lived in a lovely house. It was clean, spacious...it was a perfect house, not that I usually pay that much attention to these kind of things.
"Um...coke or lemonade?" he asked, as he opened the fridge. "Lemonade thanks," I replied. Sean bent down to the bottom of the fridge, where the drinks were kept, and I went all googly eyed! It was a sight to behold! I couldn't believe that I was getting my own private screening! But it all ended too soon, as he gave me the drink. He got himself one too, and we drank. I gulped mine down almost too quickly. "Thanks again for standing up for me today Blake...it was really nice of you," said Sean, staring at the ground. "Oh, sure...it was nothing. Don't worry about Andrew. He only does it because he gets a 'kick' out of it," I said rolling my eyes. Sean giggled at my comment. Man, that boyish giggle made me go crazy! It was so cute! I wanted to tickle him, just to hear him laugh.
Sean invited me to go up to his room and play some computer games. We spent the next hour playing his Play Station. He had definitely been practising. And besides...I was distracted. It's quite hard, playing a game next to someone who you think you love. I kept taking peeks at him from the corner of my eye, as he played. Then of course, I wasn't paying attention. But seeing Sean smiling, and giggling, made me happy. He won almost every game, with me winning one or two. How humiliating! I was usually the game guru. I had played so many computer games, I had become somewhat a master of all consoles. But this one kid, made me seem like 2 year old, playing 'Mario' for the first time.
It was getting to around 5:45pm when we heard the front door open and close. I looked at my watch, and then noticed that I should've been home ages ago. "Shit...dude, sorry but I've gotta go," I said to Sean as I got up. He looked kinda sad to see me leave, but put on a fake smile. I could tell...his real smiles made me melt...his fake ones made me happy. "Yeah, okay." "Hey, I had a great time though," I said smiling. His face lighted up, "Me too." Just then, Sean's mother entered the room. "Oh, sorry honey..." she started. "Oh, mum...this is Blake, he's a friend from school," Sean introduced me. I shook her hand, and said in my most polite manner, "Nice to meet you Mrs. Hamilton." "Nice to meet you too Blake...such lovely manners...maybe you could learn something from this young man," she said, turning her attention to her son. "Not at all ma'am, Sean's very well mannered," I said. Sean was blushing, "Muuum...Blake was just leaving," he said. "Why don't you stay for dinner?" she suddenly suggested. Both Sean and I looked at each other surprised. "Maybe another time Mrs. Hamilton...my mum will be expecting me home," I said. "Oh, okay then...it was nice meeting you Blake." Sean walked me to the front door, and I thanked him for the great time. "Um...Blake...I was just wondering...if you wanted...you could come over again tomorrow after school, and like...if you wanted, you could also spend the night" "I'd love to," I answered, a little too quickly. My heart was jumping with joy. "Really?!" "Yeah...and with those games...I'm gonna kick your ass tomorrow!" I smiled. He giggled again. "I'll see you at school tomorrow then," he said. I said goodbye and went home.
As soon as I walked in the front door, my mum immediately asked my where I had been. I told her that I was at a friends house. "I'll be spending the night at Sean's house tomorrow night," I said to her, hoping there would be no objection. "Sean? Sean who?" she asked. 'My Angel Sean' I thought to myself.
Chapter 2, Part 2
After waking up to the annoying sound of my alarm, I'd usually be begging for more sleep. But, after I hit the snooze button on my clock radio, the first thing that came into my mind was Sean! I recalled all of yesterdays events, and even wondered wether they were a part of my dream or not. After five minutes of convincing myself, that what happened yesterday 'did' happen I was on top of the world. I jumped up from my bed, and headed straight into the bathroom, for a hot shower. After towelling myself off, and putting the towel around my waist I wiped the fogged up mirror, and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I noticed the smile on my face, and it just wasn't going away. I brushed my teeth, and got dressed quickly. I couldn't believe I had let half a year pass, before I even said a word to Sean. It was almost as if I had wasted all the time I didn't spend with him. But even though I hadn't spoken him until recently, I felt an unbelievable closeness to him. I knew that he was somebody that I could trust. Sounds strange, but that's how I feel. I feel like I've known him all my life already. Before heading downstairs, I took another look at myself at the mirror. Hmmm...not bad. I took a few seconds to make sure my hair look okay, and wiped the smile from my face before anyone got suspicious or something.
I hurried downstairs for breakfast. "Good morning Blakey," said my mum, as I gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Good morning mum, and don't call me Blakey," I said like a whining child. I went to the fridge, and poured myself a glass of orange juice. "What are you so happy about?" asked my mum. I looked over to her, and found her smiling at me. "Huh? What do you mean?" I asked, a little surprised. "Oh...nothing," she said with sarcasm, "It's just that my son woke up with a wide grin this morning, and school hasn't even started yet," she said. Funny, how mother's always notice these small things. "What? Can't a guy have a smile on his face whenever he likes? Geez!" I said, a bit annoyed with my mother's analysing of my every facial expression. "Come on...spit it out," she said happily. "Spit what out?" "What's the good news?" I hoped that she'd give up soon, because I don't think she would have wanted to hear the answer. "Look...I'm just happy," I explained. It was half the truth, so I hope it'd pass my mums test. "Yeah, whatever. Oh, I'm going to be late if I don't go now," she said as she headed for the door. "Oh, remember mum, I'm spending the night at a friend's tonight, so I'll probably won't see you until tomorrow," I told her as I walked to the door. "Um...okay, behave yourself," she said as she gave me a kiss on the cheek, "love ya." "Love you too mum," I said as she closed the door.
Mums are great. Where would I be if she weren't here for me? I kinda felt guilty for leaving her like this. I mean...even going to spend the night at a friends house...I hated leaving mum by herself. We had to adapt ourself to a 'mother & son' family. Mum and dad got divorced when I was about 7. I remember that before they got divorced, there was never a happy moment between them two. I mean maybe they did have happy moments, but from what I could remember, they were never happy. All they ever did was fight, and then they got divorced. Mum had to work overtime to support us. Sometimes I feel like maybe 'I' was the problem. Maybe it was because of me that mum and dad got divorced. I think about it a lot even though mum says we shouldn't. "We're doing alright aren't we?" she would always say. I'd just smile and nod my head.
After arriving at school, I put my books and bag into my locker and felt someone tapping me on my shoulder. I looked to my left, and no one was there. "Fell for it!" said a voice. I turned to see Sean's beautiful angelic face. I was surprised that Sean could be so open. Basically, I had only known him for a day since we spoke, and already he was playing practical jokes on me. But I liked it a lot. "Good one," I smiled. "You still coming after school?" he asked. I noticed that once again, he'd come to school with his hair still wet again. I wondered how he did that. I think it must've been this look, which I fell in love with first. The look on him was just so...sexy is the only word I can think of to describe it. "Yeah, of course," I answered, "I'm still spending the night at your place right?" I asked, hoping that I would be. "Yeah...that is, if you still want to," he said, as if in doubt. "Of course I want to!" I said a little too excited, "I mean...yeah." I could tell Sean was about to giggle, but he was interrupted.
"Hey! What's..." Andrew's voice trailed off when he saw Sean standing there.
Sean looked like a little kid, whose nightmare just came to life. "Hi" he said quietly.
"Hey Andy" I replied as I closed my locker and leaned my back against it. I knew there was going to be some kind of trouble between Andrew and Sean...mainly from Andrew's side. So I tried to sort things out between the two. "Andrew, this is Sean...I think you two already know each other," I said with a grin on my face.
"Yeah, whatever..." said Andrew, not taking to Sean too much.
"Uh, I'd better get to class...I'll see you guys later," said Sean, a little pissed off. I hated to see him like that.
"Later," I replied. When Sean was out of hearing distance I turned to Andrew. "What was that?!" I asked him.
"What was what?"
"You could try to be a little more nice to Sean," I said, keeping my voice down.
"Look dude, Sean's a loser and you know it," he said. I don't think he ever thought things through his head before he actually opened his mouth.
"Dude, come here," I said as I moved to a quiet corner of the locker room. "Now, tell me straight, why do you hate him so much?"
"He's a fag!" said Andrew.
"He's gay?" I asked in a whisper hoping to hear the right answer.
"No! He's just...put it this way. In all schools there are bullies right?" I nodded my head. "Well, I'm the bully, and Sean's just the unlucky one who gets picked on," said Andrew with a proud smile on his face. I shook my head in disbelief. "Grow up dude. You've gotta get a life," I said as I walked off to class.
Maths...torture. My worst subject. Somehow I managed to keep up with it, by sitting next to Andrew. It was weird. He was able to do his work, get it right, and yak through the entire class. Of course I'd just end up copying his work, but how did he manage to do that? It was beyond me. "Hey you coming after school?" asked Andrew. "Where?" "We've got our weekly meeting at the coffee shop." I had completely forgotten. Every week we would go to the 'coffee shop,' which was really a snack and sandwich bar, and meet up with some friends. It was like a ritual we would always do. It was mainly just me and Andrew, and a few friends that we knew when we went to primary school together. It was good that we kept in touch. We would just sit around and talk, until the owners kicked us out of there. Hehehe.
"Um...I can't...not today," I said, remembering how I said I'd go to Sean's house. "What? Why?" he asked, knowing that we never missed these meetings. I thought about it for a second, before deciding that I'd also ask Sean to go. "Oh, don't worry about it...I'll be there. You go first after school okay? I'll be a little later than usual," I told him. "Yeah sure," he agreed. I would ask Sean to join us after school, and meet some of my friends, and then we'd go over to his house afterward, for some party time!
Oh man! The day drags on, when you're looking forward to something. RING! Last bell went for the day, and I exited the room. Andrew was in a hurry to get to the coffee shop, and I just stayed behind. Sean was kinda waiting for me, and I was like waiting for him. As we walked down the hallway towards our lockers I asked him, "Hey Sean...I just remembered that I have somewhere to go after school today," I saw him look at me almost as if he was angry at me, "and I was wondering if you wanted to come along. We're just going to hang out with some friends at the local coffee shop." "Oh, yeah sure," he answered, "we'd better hurry then," as a smile broke out on his face. Gotta love him.
As soon as we entered the coffee shop, I saw Andrew who was in the middle of conversation stop dead in his tracks, and stare. "Hey Blake...who's your new friend?" asked Amy immediately taking an interest in Sean. Amy was a pretty girl, shoulder length blonde hair. Nice blue eyes. I knew her, Jake and Sara from my primary school. That's our group. While all the other kids went out of touch over the years, we stayed together. "Oh, everyone this is Sean. He's a friend from school. Sean, this is Jake, Sara and Amy." Sean greeted everyone with a friendly hello. We sat down, and ordered some drinks and chocolate bars. "So, Sean, gotta girlfriend?" asked Amy. Sean almost choked on his coke, and cleared his throat, "Um...no." Amy smiled as she sat back. Andrew leaned in and whispered to me, "Why'd you bring him here?" "Because you gotta learn that enough, is enough," I whispered back sternly. After a few seconds of staring me in the eye, it was almost as if he was finally giving up. He leaned back into his chair, and gave me a nod almost as if saying 'okay.' I smiled a thanks. Whew! That's sorted out. Now Sean could hang around us, and there would be any trouble any more. I felt like I accomplished something big! I've just brought together a friendship.
Jake and Sara started talking to me and Andrew. I kinda felt bad for leaving Sean like this, to battle it out with Amy. She was all over him! I kept looking back at them, to make sure they hadn't started making out or something. "Blake..."
"You're phasing out dude," said Jake.
"Yeah, he's been doing that lot lately," said Andrew. I raised an eyebrow to Andrew as if to say thanks.
"I know what's going on," said Sara jumping into the conversation. Oh god! Did she know?
"WHAT?" asked both Jake and Andrew in unison.
"Never mind you guys," she smiled coyly at them. Sara was also pretty. Almost like a younger version of Brittney Spears. She had a blonde hair too, but hers went further down past the shoulders than Amy. She gave me a wink. I had no idea what to make of it, so I just kept my mouth shut about whatever it was she was thinking, and changed the subject.
"So how was your week?" I asked Jake and Sara. I looked over again at Sean and Amy, and found them in conversation with each other. Well, at leat their hands weren't all over each other, engaged in hot sex.
"You know us...same old, same old," said Jake.
"Great...we have the most interesting conversations don't we?" said Andrew sarcastically, as he leaned back on his chair and drank his coke.
"Hey Blake, we should get going," said Sean. I looked at my watch and it was 5:30pm. "Oh yeah, I'll see you guys later," I said as I got up, and grabbed my bags.
"Where are you two going?" asked Andrew.
"Didn't I tell you?"
"No you didn't..."
"I'm spending the night at Sean's house," I said.
"Oh," said Andrew. I felt like I was abandoning him to be with Sean. And the worst part of it all is that was what was actually happening.
"Oh, do you have to go so soon?" asked Amy, holding onto Sean's arm, trying to stop him. Get your hands off him! "Yeah, my mum will be expecting us home for dinner," said Sean.
And so we left, and all the time I could feel Andrew's hate. I knew he must've hated me. I didn't mean to leave him out...but Sean invited me. And besides, Andrew hated Sean didn't he? Now I thought that Andrew might return to his normal self, and start picking on Sean again. MAN! Why can't anything go right? I talk to Sean...good. Andrew picks on Sean...bad. I get Andrew to stop picking on Sean...good. Andrew feels left out because I'm spending the night at Sean's...bad. I feel like the heavens are playing around with my life, making bets on me doing right and wrongs. It was making me so angry myself. But whiel walking to Sean's house, seeing him just madd me realise that I just had to enjoy myself tonight. I'll just leave my problems for one night, and have fun.
Well, that's it for chapter 2. And again, e-mail me anything. Comments, questions anything that's on your mind, just e-mail me. Oh yeah, I've changed my e-mail.
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