This is an homosexual content which may contain sex between underaged guys.
If you can't stand it don't read it. If reading this content is
illegal for some reason in accord with the law of the place you live,
don't read it.
Any similarity is coincidental as it comes all from my imagination.
You are not allowed to copy this story nor any part of it.
"Oh my god! Why does this beep have to be so annoying?!" I thought as I put my feet out of the bed and felt the cold floor among the first sensations of waking up. "I just have stayed here feeling awful during all the vacations and now I have to feel awful to wake up to my first day of school... It's only the first day but it's the last year... at least."
I went to the bathroom to relieve myself, brush my teeth and take a shower. I finished brushing my teeth and took a look at the mirror. "What do I have to be special? Why would I deserve anything, anyone?! Well, that's me... 5'9", stragiht dark brown hair (all messed up right now), brown eyes maybe hazel in the morning light. My body is fair, I wish I were strong but well, I like my ab at least... it's been only three months but maybe the body-training is working... aw, what am I saying... I'm too ordinary" I shook my head to all these thoughts and went to take a shower.
I got under the spray and with this my hair was wet and water was falling all over my body. I ran my fingers over my arms, chest, then my thighs. I closed my eyes and with my face under the spray I took hold of my cock and gasped. It was really demanding attention. With the other hand I was caressing my balls. I moved my hand to caress my ab in circles and with this I started stroking my cock slowly.
I was starting to breathe heavier. I held my balls again with my hand as I increased the pace of the stroking. I was feeling my cock getting harder and its head throbbing. My hair was soaked and all my hairs were wet.
I closed my eyes once more and was stroking really fast, I could even hurt myself like that. I was buring my fingers in my balls as they were starting to move. Then I imagined a gorgeous stud behind me, holding me with his hands on my torso, exhaling in my ear, getting all wet with me. With this, I shot cum at my chin, chest, at the wall and some was over my hand.
I got my hair under the water, then I got my neck and shoulders under the spray and stared at the floor while I was taking my breath with both hands on the wall. After the good sensation many thoughts were flashing on my mind. I started crying, I didn't have the strength to stop the tears and the sob.
"Oh no, everything is going on badly to me this morning! I hadta go to school and now I am crying..." I thought to myself as tears were falling down on my cheeks "I am not beautiful nor special, nor sincere most of the time... I can't be sincere even with myself sometimes, who am I trying to fool?!" and the thoughts were just going on "Not even my parents like me... I have the sensation they'd be better if I didn't exist." and with this I shook my head under the spray and started washing my body.
"If I just had somebody to touch me like I'm doing now..." I was thinking while soaping my body "Maybe I don't have `cause I don't deserve it..." and then I washed my hair.
"Well... which clothes now?!" I asked to myself as I stopped in front of the closet "Anything works... It isn't like anyone cares for me anyway..." and as I approached to take something "...but if I'm gonna wear these black jeans it may match with this white t-shirt with this label and maybe the sneakers..." well, this is who I am!
"Maybe I could `have a headache' right now and not be forced to go..." I was thinking while eating breakfast. The food didn't taste like anything, nothing had taste, nor color. I managed to eat half of it.
"Hurry or you're gonna be late." mom said
"K, mom. I gotta take my bag upstairs." I said and left the table.
I got upstairs to get my schoolbag, I put it onto my shoulder and took a look at the mirror.
"Yeah, I guess it may do." I said to myself as I ruffled my hair to one side, then to the other, then turned a little to see how was the match between the clothes and the bag. Then I just took a look around before leaving.
"Here is where I'm gonna be alone... always... sigh." and with this I headed to the door.
I walked a few blocks and saw two scenes of parents in a hurry to take the kids to their first day of school, you know, when they're telling the kids to hurry and get back inside `cause they forgot something. And I also saw some people taking their kids, but not in a hurry. They all seemed happy indeed, as a family has to be. "Why can't my parents like me?" I was thinking as I was walking towards the school "Mom is always yelling at me, saying unpleasant things like I should know the money's worth, why can't I turn down the stereo and all these things which aren't important indeed. Dad is always at work and when he's at home he watches tv, cuts the grass, reads the newspapaer, actually he is never there to me."
"I wish I could go away, to be able not to see the face of those people, at home, at school, not to see them anymore." I kept thinking as the fall's breeze ruffled my hair and I was approaching the school.
As I approached the school I only confirmed the same faces once more. I knew almost all of them but these were those acquitances you wouldn't bother gretting in the morning, nor they would greet you.
I got inside the school and was walking through the halls to approach my locker. In the first days of classes I would bring my books back to fill the locker once more. I was glad I could let them there. At least my bag wouldn't be that heavy everyday. But I had to carry the loneliness with me everyday. It was heavier than any bag and was getting heavier as the time went by.
The first class was boring, you know, and it isn't because of the subject, actually any class would have about the same subject as it was the first day. It's weird but I like most of the classes, actually all of them at first sight. Languages are my prefered along with history and geography, but I like math a lot as well. I also like chemistry and even some biology and physics. Well P.E.... everybody likes. Sometimes arts can be boring but it's usually interesting and I'm aware arts isn't only what we have at school, I mean, music is art and it is not part of the grade.
I like all the subjects but I do not like the `first day of school' usual activity. You're supposed to know your mate and then share, to know a little about everybody but it totally sucks, you know, my pair could be at least someone I haven't been having classes with for two years!
I got a seat for the second class and didn't even look at my sides. As the teacher was talking I decided looking around as I wasn't really paying attetion. I looked to my side and as I looked to the guy on the desk beside mine, he averted his gaze like he was looking at me. With this I decided to take a look at what the teacher was talking about. It was about the evaluation system as if I wasn't sick to know about it although it was simple to me, if you don't get low grades s'ok. Then I looked again at my side and this guy was looking (again I suppose).
"Hi." he mumbled looking at me.
"Hi." I replied.
"Now, you work in pairs with the friend beside you and answer the questions I'll be handing out." the teacher said getting back our attention.
"Can we start?" he asked looking at me almost shyly. I suppose he was just uncomfortable as we didn't knew each other.
"Sure." I reassured him nodding with a pleased expression and even a smile. I'm not that bad, it's just cause this time the activity would be useful.
"What's your name?" he asked.
I was noticing him since my first look. He was 5"11, with straight red hair not really long and it was so shiny with the morning light, not less shiny than his eyes, they were really blue. His skin was pale and his cheeks were really pink. He was different at first sight, different and beautiful. I assumed it was my first impression, it was only `cause I didn't know him yet.
"I am Arthur, and you?" I replied keeping the conversation.
"I am Gabriel, I'm new here." he said kinda looking at the ground.
"Really? Where are you from?" I continued making all the room for him to talk.
"My family and I came from the West. It was a small city indeed. It seems it used to be colder there." he answered "And you, do you live nearby?"
"Yeah, I live with my parents. I come to school walking everyday." I replied. That reminded me about my parents and made me a little sad by the moment but I kept prenteding the good mood. I was so used to do it. But, you know, it is not like you prentend `cause you want nor like you control the much you're prentending.
We kept chatting while filling in the questions. He told me a lot of things about him and I guess I told him a lot about me as well. The questions were helping, actually. This time they were filling their purpouse and they helped me asking things I would have to work on before asking.
He told me he liked folk music but also liked hearing some common music to know what was going on. I made him sure I prefer pop music, after all, pop is pop, but I could listen to something else, although being kinda restrict about it. We chatted about movies, games and a lot of other things. I even mentioned my workout to him. The time just flew by and when we were aware of it, the class was over.
"Can we have lunch together?" he asked.
"Sure. Can you meet me in front of Lit's room?"
"Lit, right?" he asked.
"Yes, that's it. See ya at lunch then." I said.
"See ya." he said taking his way to his next class.
That day, there we some teachers who would start talking about their subjects indeed. It wasn't like we had to introduce ourselves several times, well, it wasn't that bad, after all.
Lunch time arrived and usually this was the time for the `main act' as I would join a few people and pretend I was having a good time, pretending I `was eager' for lunch time and then just bear the last classes before leaving.
This time I was gonna have lunch with Gabriel. I would say he was being cool as I just became his colleague that day, but it wasn't like it hadn't happened before. Everybody seems to be cool with you at first sight, but then, they meet their friends and you remain only as colleague, besides, when you just meet a person the casual talking is the usual, then they're being as cool as they can when they talk casually to you. You sense they don't really turn into your friends because your conversations are just this as the time goes by.
"Hiya, Gabriel, then here you are." I said, emphasizing the fact he was there waiting for me, reassuring him as he was looking at the ground as the kids were filling the hall.
"Hi." he answered. I sensed he would say something else and when I sense it I just don't go all talking. You must wait, you know. Theeen, I looked directly at him with big eyes. "Mm, where are... we gonna have lunch?" he continued. Oh, I got it, he was unsure about the offer still standing.
"Let's go. Lunch time is so short." I said with a huge smile reassuring him once more, ruffled my hair and made the usual motion as if I was eager for it.
Sometimes I feel like people don't wait the shy ones to talk, they don't make an effort to look like paying attention on what you're gonna say next. They can't smile casually... well it doesn't have to be like those grins I flash, but a smile, you know. I feel like I'm the one who can sense those things are so well accepted and they help. It seems no one knows how to be pleasant, but I reckon it's more like they don't want to make such effort.
We found a table and started eating our lunches. I mean, I kept talking and making conversation. He looked like so interested on my babbling and it was only the usual babbling I used to make the talk.
"Then, which classes did you have after the one we had together? Which teachers have you met?" I asked.
"Oh, I had math and geography." he said after taking one more bite of his sandwich.
"You know, you can comment about the teachers. I said I like all the subjects, well I like all of them `cause I don't have problems with grades I guess." I said and smiled at my own comment. "But it's not like I like all the teachers." I continued and chuckled.
"I don't have really much to comment about them, they're doing their job. I don't really like talking about people." Gabriel said.
"Then, did you like the classes?" I asked.
"Oh yes, I liked the math grade for this year and the geography teacher had a nice talk about the environment." he answered as we continued eating and talking.
"Are you eager for P.E.?" I asked as a safe point, everybody likes it. "Which sports do you prefer?"
"Actually, I'm not. Let's say I didn't use to be the first one to be chosen to make the teams in the other school." he said somehow embarrassed.
I shouldn't have asked because after that we had an awkward silence due to this question. Nobody likes to reckon they suck in P.E. Actually I suck in all the teams. I have my workout and I can swim, I love running but I don't do really well in the teams. Then I go over it doing another things, like running, playing something else other than the main game, this way I don't let people notice I am not good in P.E. but I know what feels like... and I didn't shared it with him.
"Everybody has something they do really well. Then what's your talent?" I asked and smiled to keep the conversation and `mend' my last question.
"Well, I love playing the piano. We have only an old one at home, but I like it." he said smiling. I realized how modest he was. I would have talked about it in the first opportunity when we were talking about music before. I'd like to play some instrument.
We didn't have the chance to chat a lot more `cause the bell rang soon. At least it would be only a little more and I'd be free. Lunch time was good indeed with Gabriel but as I said, it's not like it didn't happen before, besides I pretended my good mood, but it is not like I wouldn't with anyone else.
The last classes were so uneventful. I felt empty looking at them all, even prenteding a joke here and there. I made sure asking a lot of questions to the teachers, but I knew deep down I wasn't giving a damn for all of it. I wanted just to lock myself in my bedroom that afternoon. It was usual feeling like that sometimes, but it seems it was happening with more frequency.
"Hey, Arthur!" I turned fastly and it was Gabriel as we were leaving the school.
"Oh, hi...Gabriel!" I said with a huge smile. He caught me by surprise touching my shoulder. I didn't mean to look like scared, but I was so defensive, I mean, it wasn't usual, people touching me. We kept walking.
"Sorry, I didn't wanna freak ya." he said.
"Oh, s'ok." I said and I realized he kept walking beside me. Well, it happened before as well. Then, he'd find his friends and I'd walk to school seeing happy people in the street, with their parents and everything, alone.
"One more day of school is gone." I commented as we were walking.
"Yeah. It's not like I don't like going to school but the guys can give ya a hard time, you know." he said and then as he realized his own comment he averted his gaze to the ground.
Well, he liked going to school at least. And I understood what was like having the teasing at school as well. As soon as I went to highschool I wouldn't let anyone know about it, they wouldn't have a clue. And he was telling it kinda naturally. He was braver than I was.
"My bag is sooo light. It was heavy this morning." I said changing subjects, and smiled "I am bringing the books back to my locker." I continued as he was looking directly at me with those deep blue eyes.
"Oh," he said `coming back to the real world' "Can you lend me your math book? I mean, tomorrow at school. I'll have buy a new one and I'd like to take a look."
"Mmm, this one is at home yet. Why don't you come with me and take it?" I asked as we passed by a store and there were lots of teenagers just heading out and laughing out loud. I asked myself why couldn't I belong, just that.
"I don't wanna disturb, you know. Are you sure?" he asked.
"Don't sweat it." I said and smiled. This time he got a smile of his own. "I guess there's nobody at home, then you can't `disturb'." I said and laughed.
"Then, do you prefer the warm weather? You said the city you lived is colder." I asked making conversation.
"Yes. You know, people seem to be happier. And I like studying something about the weather, it's my prefered part of geography and there are some really good forecasts sites with lots of information and everything." he said.
We were on the sidewalk and on the other side of the street I saw two guys with football t-shirts, playing I guess. Well, actually one jumped onto the other and the ball was aside. I guess the grass was wet and it was a warm and sunny pleasant day. It looked like they were brothers and they were about my age, maybe a little less... and cute. They were laughing on the floor. Seeing that was hurting, but it wasn't like I could avoid happy people, I mean, it wouldn't be even healthy, it's supposed to be good seeing happy people, besides, it's not like I would wish they not to be happy just cause I wasn't... wasn't I?! I asked myself, staring on what I'd like to have. Was I disgusting... didn't people like touching me, was that it? I started making questions on my head, and they weren't making much sense anymore.
"Hey, Arthur, what are you looking so much at?" Gabriel asked.
"Oh, nothing." I replied as I looked back at him flashing a huge smile and felt my hair moving with my turning and the wind. "Oh my god, now I am jealous and lying!" I thought to myself.
As we reached home I let Gabriel in and went in as well. I was reaching the stairs when I realized he was still by the door. He was looking at everything, actually he was appreciating the decoration, the sofas, the paintings... He was paying attention to the details when I was unlocking the door outside as well. He was looking at everything, then he looked at me with those shiny eyes, realizing I was by the stairs. I smiled warmly at him.
"Your house is very beautiful, Arthur." he said. I smiled back showing him I was glad he thought so, but it just reminded me dad wasn't never at home and mom... well, it was like she wasn't, then what matters how beautiful is your house... I mean, it wasn't beautiful to me, it'd be if my parents were part of it... better, if I were part of it.
"C'mom." I said and we went to my room.
"Nice stereo. And you have one computer in your room. Cool!" he said.
"It's not really much, but it's my room." I said as that was the truth.
"Hey, don't say that. You're a lucky guy!" he said smiling.
He so didn't know... All those stuff, nor a full closet, none of that would make me not feel lonely when I was locked there. I would trade all of that for a friend, a real friend... all, all of that. It hurt hearing that, maybe he was just like all the others, he thought having things would resolve problems, worse, he didn't have any clue.
"Oh yup, the book is here." I said as I got it and handled him. I felt his soft hand getting the book and it took more time for me to let go than usual. "Gosh, if I think he can't be my friend I can't get any affection for him! If he can't be my friend, what about something else!?!!?" I thought to myself.
"Let's have some juice." I just said with a smile and put my bag on the bed.
He followed me downstairs with the book as we were heading to the kitchen.
"Oh, you can leave the book there, on the sofa." I told him. I mean, he wouldn't be carrying the book!
We went to the kitchen to have some juice and maybe a snack. I got the juice from the fridge while Gabriel was sitting on a chair, quiet. I got two glasses and I got a chair as well as we drank the juice.
"More juice?" I asked after when we finished the juice.
"No, thanks." he replied. I took the glasses to the sink.
"Oh, there's bread, do you want some?" I said as I took the knife beside the sink.
"Oh, no thanks. I gotta go now." he said getting up "Hey, what a huge knife to cut bread!" he said looking at it.
"I'm not a chief actually, I'll make a mess with the bread." I chucked "Then, the bigger the better I guess." I continued and smiled.
"Oh, oook then." he said with a smile.
"Can you open the door for me?" he asked leaving the kitchen. I followed him.
"Then, see ya tomorrow, Arthur?" he said already outside.
"See ya." I said with a smile and closed the door.
I sighed and closed the door. I stopped for one moment and then went back to the kitchen. Then, I just stopped by the sink, thinking about my day. I was alone.
"Oh my god. I go to school and see good parents. I get back and see people hanging around, rolling on the grass... God, is it being shoved on my face?!" I thought to myself and tears started falling on my cheeks and I didn't care, I was so tired of this.
"I am a liar, I am jealous of people having a good time. I guess everybody is right. I am wrong, I mean, my parents hate me!" I thought as more tears were falling and I was thiking of Gabriel. "He's just like the others. Why do I have to hurt myself so much thinking of all that?"
"I wish I could make the pain go away!" I whispered this time, with my eyes full of tears and I looked at the knife still in my hand. I looked at it and the blade shone with the light coming from the window. I went to the middle of the kitchen, held the knife with both hands and pointed it to my belly.
"I am gonna make all the pain go away." I thought as I closed my eyes and felt the blade and pictured on my mind the bruise that was being made by it as I felt the pain on my skin.
"Noooooo!" I heard the scream and was pushed forcefully to the ground. I hit the floor dropping the knife away.
I opened my eyes and inhaled, then I held my breath in surprise. Gabriel was lying on me. I stared into his deep blue eyes. His red hair was shining with the evening light as his eyes. He kissed me deeply on the lips. His kiss was intense, with passion, with strong feelings. I felt his tongue trying to invade my mouth and I just let myself be taken by the feelings.
The feelings were so good. I was paralyzed with the strong emotions but I knew I was feeling so alive.
I felt so lonely, but not anymore. Gabriel was there for me. He is my angel. He saved me.