Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1999 15:17:37 PST
From: Joseph Thoreau <jdthoreau@hotmail.com>
Subject: My Hero - Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER
**********

This story contains sexual acts between teenage boys. If this is not to 
your liking, then leave. Simple. If you are UNDER the age of consent for 
state / country / planet and all laws effective there, please leave now. 
Of course, I'm underage and I wrote it, so that's pretty odd, don't you 
think?

I wrote this story. I would be very appreciative if it wasn't changed in 
any way. You may post it to newsgroups, give it to friends, use it to 
line a birdcage, as long as I am accredited as the author and you do not 
charge for doing so. Thanks. 

The story is an odd mix of fact and fiction, inasmuch as I exist, the 
people in this story exist (names have been changed), but these events 
have not taken place outside my hormone charged imagination. This is not 
a story about sex. It is a love story with sexual elements in it. The 
sex takes a while to get to, so be patient. If you are just looking for 
something to jerk off to, you should probably move on.

If you like this story, mail me at JDThoreau@hotmail.com. If you don't
like it, mail me anyway and tell me what's wrong with it. Praise will be 
appreciated, flames will be ignored. Enjoy!


To Matt-For both the inspiration for this story and his constant support 
throughout the development of it. Thanks, bro. I love you. 


	My weekend went pretty well. Saturday and Sunday morning, I went to
work as usual. IHOP is a pretty nice place work. I can usually make $75 a
morning in tips. I really liked all the people I worked with. I had been
working there for over 6 months, and I had a really good relationship with
everyone there. There was a great spirit of teamwork. I even got along with
the managers well.
	I worked out with Ray on Sunday, and I told him all about what
happened on Friday. He listened intently. I told him about the fight itself
and most of what happened afterwards. He kept a big grin on his face the
whole time. When I was finally finished, he laughed.
	"That's incredible! I'm glad you were able to handle yourself.
Especially against two brutes like those."
	"Yeah, me too. You know, I have been training at his for a long
time, but I was still so disgusted at it. I didn't want to hurt anyone. It
made me feel sick somehow."
	He just smiled. "You did what you had to do. It's an exciting thing
to fight, but it's also very unfortunate. Don't feel bad. You did the right
thing."
	I thought about that for a moment. I owed him so much. When I
spoke, I was solemn. "You know, it's you I should thank. You are the one
who trained me so well. I am just happy I was able to perform in a manner
that honored you."
	He seemed to be a little embarrassed. "Jeff, you are the one who
fought so well. I am glad you have reached this level of mastery. You have
honored me. You have made me very proud, okay?"
	It was my turn to be embarrassed. He saw my discomfort and
continued. "And I'm glad you have made a new friend. You have never had
many. I hope you two can be close."
	"Yeah, me too."
	It really is amazing how two people can open up to each other while
working out. As I said before, you bond when you try to kill someone. I
could talk to Ray about nearly anything in that garage, and never feel
uncomfortable. I thought that if I was going to come out to family member,
Ray would have been the prime choice. However, that didn't seem too likely
at that moment.
	While we were talking, my Aunt Jana came from the kitchen to have
us sample some baked goods. She is part German, and her mother had given
her, besides a charming accent, a love of cooking. She loved to do it, and
I loved being able to sample her offerings. She was a tall and willowy
woman, with blond hair and a fair complexion. She had a certain quality
about her, a love of life. Ray is my Dad's brother, so I am of no blood
relation to her. Still, she was always one of my favorite people. She had
the same syndrome as Ray had. Since she couldn't have children, I was kind
of like a son. She was a very sweet lady. She would look at me expectantly
when I would bite into a piece of her apple crumb cake or other items. I
loved to see her smile when I would mumble my appreciation of the treat. It
was as if nothing made her happier than someone enjoying her efforts.
That's the kind of person she was. She loved to make other people
happy. After making sure her "two boys" were okay, she retreated back to
her kitchen.
	We talked for a while longer and then got to the workout. I felt
that he was trying to fight harder than usual. He obviously thought that I
was ready to proceed to more difficult training. I was so very proud. I
went to sleep that night feeling very sore, but very happy.
	Monday came as Mondays always do. My spirit lifted as it usually
did when I entered Mrs. Estes's class. I sat in my normal seat in the
back. Kevin came in and saw me sitting there. His face lit up and he
hurried over. He sat in a new seat that day, the one right beside mine. We
talked until the bell rang. In class that day, we studied Robert Frost.
I've always liked Robert Frost, even though he isn't difficult to
understand. He wrote about what he loved, which was the natural world most
of the time. Kevin and I said goodbye to each other after class, and after
school, I went by and told Mrs. Estes about Friday.
	Throughout the violent parts, she became angry. She wanted to turn
Aaron and Nick in on assault, but I talked her out of it. I figured they
had learned their lesson. Besides, I didn't want what had happened to get
out. She was very happy about the rest of the story. "So, do you think he
might, um, swing your way?"
	"I doubt it. He could be, but most likely Aaron and Nick were just
being brainless jerks."
	"Really? Too bad. You two would be good together."
	"Stop that!"
	She smiled. "Still, it would be nice to just have him as a friend,
too."
	"I know. Oh, I wish you knew him a little better. He's so nice."
	We talked a couple of minutes longer and I left. Throughout the
next week, Kevin and I talked almost everyday. We exchanged numbers, and I
found myself talking to him for three or four hours at a stretch. A couple
of times during the week, I saw my two favorite football players roaming
the halls. I was pretty sure they didn't know who I was, but I always
avoided eye contact just to make sure. They didn't look so well. They both
were pretty bruised. Kevin said that they hadn't even looked at him since
the incident. I wondered what story they were telling everyone to explain
the injuries.
	That Saturday after I had finished working, Ray and I were due for
a workout. Ray practically knew Kevin from all that I had told him, and had
asked me to bring him over sometime. I had wanted to introduce them, and he
had agreed to let him sit in on one of our sessions.
	When I had broached the subject, Ray had simply said, "Sure, bring
him along. I'd love to meet your new friend."
	 Kevin had wanted to meet the man who had taught me to fight, so I
picked him up shortly after 4:00 and took him to Ray's house. I introduced
the two and they shook hands. Kevin sat in the background for most of it,
watching us try to kill each other. We finished up and Kevin and Ray said
goodbye to each other. I took Kevin home and he commented on it.
	"Man, that's harsh! How long have you two been doing that?"
	"Almost five years now."
	He seemed impressed. "Amazing. No wonder you're able to kick ass so
well. I really like your Uncle. He's a cool guy."
	"Yeah, me too."
	Kevin was silent for a few moments. "I wish I had someone in my
family who I could be close to. You should see the way he looks at you when
you work out with him. He's so proud of you."
	"You think so?"
	"I know so. I see it in his eyes." He shook his head again. "That's
some incredible fighting. I wish I could do that. I never could fight worth
shit."
	An idea started forming in my head. Kevin reminded me so much of
myself. I really liked him, but he was so insecure. Who could blame him?
With parents like his, it was amazing he came out so nice. Working out with
Ray had done so much for me, and I was sure Ray wouldn't mind...
	"Hey, Kevin?"
	"Yeah?"
	"How would you like to train with me sometime?"
	He looked at me with wide eyes. "Are you kidding? I can't fight
like that!"
	"Neither could I until I started training."
	I could tell he was intrigued. "Oh, man. It sounds cool, but I
don't want to put you and your Uncle out. You guys don't need me around."
	"I know he wouldn't mind. Come on, you know you want to. It'll be
good for you."
	Kevin still looked incredibly uneasy, but his desire to kick ass
outweighed it. "Are you sure you two wouldn't mind?"
	"I'm positive! I'll talk to him tomorrow and set it up. We work out
again on Wednesday. Come with me and we can get you started."
	He finally cracked a smile. "Okay, okay. Cool! Maybe I'll learn to
fight as well as you can."
	"I don't see why not."
	"Cool! This'll be fun!"
	I laughed. "Think so? Just wait until the workout starts."
	I called Ray after I took Kevin home. I carefully introduced the
subject of including him in our workouts and he quickly agreed.
	"Yeah, bring him along. Everyone needs to know how to take care of
themselves. You know, I really like him. You two seem to get along pretty
well."
	"Well, he's a nice guy. I like having him as a friend."
	"Okay, you remember how we started. Tell him to how to dress for it
and we'll teach him how to fight."
	"Great! Thanks, Uncle. I owe you."
	"Don't worry about it. See you Wednesday."
	On Wednesday, almost two weeks after Kevin and I had really met, we
started one of my favorite poets in English class: T.S. Eliot. He's fairly
difficult to understand, but he's amazing. We spent the whole class period
on The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. If you have never read this poem, I
highly suggest you pick it up. It is so complex. It's difficult to
describe, but trust me. Read it.
	After class that day, Kevin and I were talking as usual. We both
had no plans after the workout, so I asked him if he wanted to grab a bite
to eat afterwards. He readily agreed and, as he was without a mode of
vehicular transportation, I picked him up at 5:00. I didn't really like to
go over to his house. I had never met his parents, and I didn't want to.
Just picking him up there gave me some bad vibes. He had spent a lot of
time at my house and had met my parents on a couple of occasions, but I had
no desire to do the same.
	He was dressed in loose shorts and a T-shirt. It looked good on
him. He had also brought a change of clothes as I had directed. Sometimes
you can get a little bloody. And even if not, you can get pretty sweaty. I
took him to my Uncle's house yet again. I pulled into the driveway and
parked beside my Uncle's Explorer. I opened the garage with a spare
electric garage door opener that my Uncle had given me. We entered the
garage to find Ray waiting for us. They shook hands once again and Kevin
thanked him for accepting to train him. I think Kevin might have been a
little frightened when the garage door lifted and he truly realized what
those mats were for. "Those things don't hurt when you hit them, do they?"
	"Well..." I started to laugh.
	"Jeff!"
	"Okay, okay. Not too bad."
	He met Jana for the first time that day. When I went into the house
at one point for some water, she confided in me, "He seems like a nice boy,
but too thin. He needs to come over more and let me feed him."
	Together, Uncle Ray and I introduced Kevin to the wonderful world
of pain. Working out like that is difficult. It can be very painful. We
took it easy on him, but I knew he was hurting by the end. He graciously
thanked my Uncle at the end of the session and we left. In the car, I asked
him how he enjoyed it. He just laid back against the seat and opened one
eye. He looked over at me and gasped, "You bastard."
	I laughed. It takes some getting used to. It was nearly 7:00, so I
asked him if he wanted to go ahead and eat. We both were pretty sweaty, so
we decided to go to my house and shower first. My parents were at church
and wouldn't be getting back until after ten. I showered and changed, then
Kevin followed suit. It was cool. Before I had met him, I probably would
have felt uncomfortable changing around such a cute guy. Now, because we
were such good friends, I could do it without even thinking about getting
in his pants. Well, maybe just a little thinking. Hey, I'm only human!
	 When we were done, we both looked (and smelled) a whole lot better
than when we had begun. The hygiene rituals completed, we set off to find a
place to eat.
	We went to one of my favorite Mexican food places and were given a
small booth in the back. Amante's was a great little hole in the wall sort
of place. It was so authentic that you generally had to order in Spanish.
That was no problem for me. If you work as a waiter at any IHOP in Texas,
chances are that you are going to learn a little Spanish. We checked out
the menus for awhile (me giving Kevin a hand at times) and I placed the
orders for both of us.
	While we waited for our food, we talked. I liked the way Kevin and
I talked. I had known him for only a short time, but we could talk about
anything at all. It was very similar to the way Mrs. Estes and I could
converse. Kevin was telling me about trying to find a job. He had worked at
a grocery store a block from his house all summer. He had saved up a good
amount of cash, but the store had laid off all of the summer help when
school started. Kevin had applied at a bunch of places, but it was
difficult to find a job in the middle of the school year. Eventually, we
got to talking about the poem we had read in English that day.
	He seemed a little puzzled. "I don't think I really understood it.
What do you think it was about?"
	"Well, it's difficult to explain. You know how Prufrock was always
going on with all that "Do I dare?" stuff?"
	"Yeah..."
	"Well, the point of the poem was that he was going to this party
with this girl. He was going to propose to her. He was afraid of spending
his life alone, so he wanted to ask her to marry him."
	"So that was what all that stuff about an overwhelming question
was?"
	"Exactly. Well, Prufrock gets to this party and is going to do it.
But he chickens out. He feels that he is worthless and that no one would
ever want him. He thinks this woman is interested, but if he asks, he's
afraid that she'll say that she's not."
	"Oh, wait. I get it. That's what the "That is not what I meant at
all" stuff is. He's afraid that if he asks her, she'll say he misunderstood
her intentions?"
	"Right. The main point of the poem is that Prufrock is a coward.
He's like cowardice personified. He likes this woman, but he is so insecure
that he thinks that no one could ever like him. He doesn't want to be alone
his whole life, but he is too afraid to risk getting hurt. It's really sad.
He's so afraid of getting rejected that he cannot even take a chance, even
if that risk could result in him spending his life with someone. The end
talks about him growing old and spending his life alone."
	Kevin seemed thoughtful. "So, he could not run the risk of getting
hurt even if that could mean not spending his life alone?"
	"Exactly. He was a coward, doomed to spend his life in solitude."
	"Damn. That's depressing."
	Our food arrived a minute or so later. We both had chosen a mixed
platter dish with nachos, a taco, an enchilada, a tamale, and rice and
beans. Amante's always served great food. The salsa was thick and spicy,
everything tasted homemade. By the end of our meal, we were both stuffed. I
reached for my wallet, but by the time I had removed it from my pocket, he
had grabbed the check.
	"Let me."
	We argued about it for awhile (people always seem to do this) and
eventually he agreed to let me pick up the check next time. I grabbed a
couple of Altoids from the tin in my pocket and offered him one. I love
those things. I left a very generous tip, as I always do for my waiter
brethren, and we left. It was only about 8:00 and I didn't want to go home,
but I couldn't think of anything else to do. I checked with Kevin. "What
should we do now?"
	"I don't know. I haven't got any homework, so I'm free for the rest
of the night. What do you think we should do?" Needless to say, this went
on for quite sometime. We ultimately decided to just go back to my house as
my parents were at church. I opened the door and we crashed on the couch.
Kevin grabbed the remote and flipped around. There didn't seem to be
anything good on, so he just left it on MTV and we shut our minds off.
After a few more minutes, I got restless. I was about to change the channel
when MTV started to air one of their "Real Life Specials." They were doing
a biography on Matthew Shepard. I didn't say anything to Kevin during the
half hour broadcast, we were both watching intently. When it was over, I
looked over at him. He had a grim look on his face. I was glad he responded
the way he did. After my parent's reaction, I was glad that there were more
people who were sickened by it.
	I changed the channel when it was over and said, "Tragic."
	He just nodded. "Completely."
	Once again, we were left to flipping the channels in search of
something to watch. I finally just turned the set off and sat back. I was
about to say something when Kevin spoke up.
	"What do you really think about that whole hate crime thing?"
	That was an easy question. "It's disgusting, the most ignorant
thing anyone could ever do. 'Hey, let's go kill someone because they're
gay.' It's unimaginable."
	He seemed to agree. "It blows my mind. So much violence. Why are
people so cruel to each other? To be hurt by another person, do you know
what it's like to feel that? Hatred is so pointless."
	You know, to be honest, I didn't. I also wondered how Kevin did. I
had some serious suspicions. Kevin's family seemed really twisted. I had
wanted to ask him about this for a long time. It seemed like the right time
to figure this out. "No, I never have. When have you?"
	He had kind of been in his own little world for a bit, but he soon
came back to reality. He had looked to be very upset, but he got hold of
himself. "I'm just saying. It's so wrong."
	I looked at him. "Really? How would you know about it so well?"
	He wouldn't look at me. "I don't know what you mean. What are you
talking about?"
	"Oh, I don't know. It just seems to me that you know a little more
about this subject than I do. Why is that?"
	I knew. I could feel it. I understood why Kevin and his family
didn't get along. It seemed so clear. He was getting visibly upset, but he
wasn't going to budge. I had the distinct feeling he had never talked about
this. I wanted to change that.
	"So when have you experienced this?"
	He still wouldn't meet my eyes. "I didn't say that I had."
	Kevin wasn't like most guys. I felt really comfortable with him. I
knew he needed a friend right now, so I decided to make a move. His hands
were clenched together. I reached over and took one. "You know, Kevin. I
have never turned you away. I wouldn't start now."
	He finally met my gaze. I could see tears were pooling in them.
"Ummm...I....I don't know what to say. Um, you know my Dad. We've never
really gotten along, you know? It's really hard..."
	The floodgates opened and he was able to let go. That was the
second time I had ended up holding him on that couch. I would be lying if I
said I didn't like it. For the next few minutes, I let Kevin flush out what
I would soon find out to be the pent up pain of years of abuse. I held him
close to me and let him know that I was there for him. When he was able to
speak, I got a very interesting story.
	It lasted about 30 minutes. He filled in all the gaps of what I
knew about his father. He had been a casual alcoholic for as long as Kevin
could remember. Even when he wasn't, he really wasn't a very nice guy. He
was always talking about what a shitty job he had, what a shitty life he
had. How it was everyone else's fault. This seemed to be Larry Taylor's
theme song: it's not my fault. He was cruel to his wife and his son, and
when he'd get drunk, it would get worse. He smacked his wife around on a
regular basis, but never hard enough to leave a mark. He saved that for
when he got drunk.
	Kevin seemed most upset when talking about his mother. He always
remembered his dad behaving this way, and one day he had tried to stop it.
He had been about 9 years old, too small to do anything about it, but old
enough to want to help his mother. Larry had been on a drunken rage,
yelling about something that had happened at work. He had started to slap
her. Kevin had walked in and yelled at his father, screaming at him to
stop. It was then that his father turned his attention to him. He had never
beat Kevin before, just slapped him around a bit. But after that night,
Kevin would not be able to open his left eye for a week.
	"I never really minded when he would hit me, you know? Sometimes I
would try to make him angry at me, just so he would stop hitting Mom.
That's what hurts the worst. And then I'd feel bad again. I mean, I love
her so much. But...I also hate her. When I was little, I'd ask myself, why
doesn't she leave? Why doesn't she just take us both away from this? I feel
like such an asshole."
	I didn't know what else to say. "Don't. Don't feel that way."
	He continued the story, finishing up with some ease one of the most
horrible things I had ever heard. His Dad was an asshole most of the time.
He was always at least emotionally abusive. He would only really get
physical when he was drunk.
	"It's not too bad, you know? I can live with it. I'll be gone in a
couple of years, and he ignores me most of the time. I just worry about
Mom. What happens when I move out? How will she be able to survive? What if
he gets really drunk and kills her?"
	I was moved by all that he was saying. Here he was, living a life
of abuse, but all he could think of was the welfare of another. Kevin was
just Kevin that way. It's one of the things I admired most about him.
Watching him say this, listening to the whole tale, I think I realized that
I loved him a little. I know it seems odd or presumptuous, but I realized
it. He seemed to glow with an inner fire. He was like a bright flame, a
flower growing in poisoned soil. I did love him.
	Abuse is never an easy subject. I had never experienced physical
abuse, so I didn't know how to handle it. "Have you ever considered calling
the police or anything like that?"
	"Nah. Like I said, I can deal with it. I've never even really
thought about it until tonight."
	"Why is that?"
	"I guess no one ever gave a damn enough to ask."
	Oh, I was so touched. I really liked the relationship I was
developing with him. He was such a great guy, so nice. I wanted to protect
him so much. I hated the fact that he had to live like this. It was
amazing. He had been living with this for years, yet he was such a
wonderful person. I tried to think of something to say. "Well, then they
didn't know what they were missing."
	He was solemn. "Jeff, you know man...thanks. You are such a
wonderful friend to me. I honestly don't know what I would do without you.
When I talk to you it just seems like everything's going to be okay, you
know?"
	"Hey, I'm just glad that you're my friend. I've never had a friend
like you before. I'm glad I can help. I want you to be able to lean on me
for support. You say that I make you feel like everything's going to be
okay? Well, that's because it is. I know you can handle anything that's
thrown at you. You're so strong. You have survived all this shit and are
still a great person. That's what I like about you so much, your strength,
your courage."
	He had been smiling throughout my entire speech. When I finished,
he scoffed. "Man, I'm not strong. If I was strong, I could have stopped my
father. It's you who's strong. And I'm sure as hell not brave. I'm a
coward, like Prufrock."
	"What do you mean?"
	He shifted in his seat. "I don't know, I'm just a coward."
	"Hey! The hell you are! Listen to me. I meant what I said. To have
gone through what you have and to still be the person you are, that's
amazing. You don't understand the respect that causes me to feel."
	He was obviously upset. "Man, if you only knew."
	"Knew what? I know you, Kevin. I know what kind of person you
are. You're my friend and I don't allow anyone to insult my friends, not
even themselves."
	He looked away from me. "Damn. You are a great friend. Can I ask
you a question?"
	"Of course."
	"Well, I've told you a lot of shit about me tonight. I've told you
how I've let someone hurt me and my mother all of my life." I started to
argue, but he silenced me. "I've told you all of this. Do you think any
less of me?"
	"No! Of course not. Man, there is absolutely nothing you could tell
me to make me think less of you. Sorry, but I think too much of you."
	"You're a wonderful friend, but I wonder if you really mean that."
	I was kind of angry. "Of course I do. I care about you, Kevin. If
there's more, then tell me. I'll help you through it."
	He gave me one of his five second pauses that he was so good at.
"It's hard to let people in. It's so hard to open yourself up."
	I grabbed his hand and felt absolutely no discomfort in doing so.
"Please, Kevin. If there's something that's bothering you, let me help you
through it."
	He looked me straight in my eyes. "I'm afraid, Jeff. Even though I
haven't known you long, you are my closest friend. What if you hate me?"
	"I could never hate you! Please Kevin, what is it? We'll work it
out."
	He took a deep breath. I felt his hand close around mine. He spoke
quickly and forcefully. "Jeff, I'm gay."
	I can only imagine what the poor boy felt at that moment, coming
out to someone and seeing them burst into fits of laughter. I couldn't help
myself. I just laughed and laughed. He looked hurt. "What's so funny?"
	"Oh, Kevin. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh, it's just.."
	I started laughing again and he got even more offended. "What?!"
	I tried to speak clearly. "Well, um, me too."
	The look on his face was priceless! His eyes opened as wide as
silver dollars and his jaw dropped. "What?!"
	I just nodded. "Yeah, me too."
	He joined me in my laughter. He then reached over and hit me on my
shoulder. "You bastard! You scared me! I thought you were going to kill me
for being gay. Why didn't you tell me, anyway?"
	I laughed at him. "Me? What about you?"
	"I just did!"
	"Oh, yeah. Very well, then. Hey, Kevin! I'm gay!"
	We were both laughing our asses off. I know it's stupid, but it
just felt so good to be able to do so. It was such a relief. When we
stopped laughing, I noticed that we were holding each other. It wasn't like
before. This was a whole lot closer. I felt slightly uncomfortable at
this, and removed myself. I sat up.
	"Man, this is incredible. I've never even known someone who was
gay. It feels so great to be able to share this."
	"You're telling me?" He sighed. "Oh, man. So how many people know
about you? Does Ray?"
	"Nah, just Mrs. Estes. I came out to her over a month ago. How
about you?
	"Nope, you're my first. Feel free to feel honored."
	I smiled at him. "Don't you just hate being in the closet?"
	"Are you kidding? It's my favorite place. Hey, why haven't you told
Ray? I know how much he loves you. He would accept it."
	"I would hope so, but I'm afraid. You know how you felt earlier?
You were scared that you would be rejected." He nodded vigorously. "Well,
it's like that. I love Ray so much, what if he found out and hated me?"
	"Jeff, I didn't. Neither did Mrs. Estes."
	I gave him a coy look. "Yeah, well, you had a slightly different
perspective."
	"Hey, don't make me kick your queer ass over there!"
	"Look who's talking! What was that you wanted to do with my ass?"
	I laughed and he lunged at me. We ended up mock wrestling on the
floor. I know we were acting like small children, but it was just the
euphoria of the moment. I cannot describe how it felt to know someone who
had known the pain that I had known. He ended up sprawled out in the middle
of the living room, lying in each other's arms. We had had a rough day. The
workout, the emotional strain of the past hour, the wrestling. We were both
wiped out.
	It was nice to be able to lay there with him, just being there for
each other. I know it sounds corny, but it was really sweet. We talked a
little bit more, about what it had been like growing up and such, but
mainly just tried to exist. At one point, I asked him, "So that's really
why Aaron and Nick were beating on you? Do you think they really knew you
were gay?"
	"Well, sort of. You know that they are just assholes anyway. They
did say that Ronald Price had said I was checking people out in the
shower." He blushed. "Well, Ronald might have seen me doing that, I don't
know. I don't know if he saw me or not, but what can I say? Guilty. Ronald
probably did tell them that. I guess that makes it a hate crime."
	I felt old anger boiling to the surface. Now that I knew the truth,
it took on a whole different meaning. "I can't believe those two!"
	"Man, don't worry about it. I'm glad it happened."
	I looked at him incredulously. "What the fuck are you talking
about? You could have been killed!"
	"Yeah, well, maybe. It did hurt like hell, but then again, it did
lead me to you."
	I blushed. "Quit that."
	He cuddled close to me. "It was amazing. The cutest guy I had ever
seen swooped down and saved me, like my own personal Clark Kent." He
laughed. "Jeff Black, my hero."
	I didn't know what to say. I was so touched. I looked at my watch
and noticed it was pushing 9:30. "Man, my parents will be getting here
soon."
	From somewhere around my shoulder, I heard, "Who cares?"
	"Come on, it wouldn't be good to see us like this. They might get
ideas."
	He sat up a little and smiled at me. "What kind of ideas?"
	I could feel my cheeks darken. "You know what I mean."
	"Do I?" He laughed. "You know, it's weird. I've only known you for
about two weeks, but I feel as though I've known you forever. You're such a
great guy. A wonderful friend."
	"I know what you mean."
	He was silent for awhile. "Hey, Jeff. You remember the Prufrock
poem?"
	"Of course."
	"I think that's really sad, don't you? I mean, he should have taken
the chance. I took a chance tonight, and look what it got me."
	I didn't say anything, he continued. "Do you think he should have
taken a chance? Dared to disturb the universe?"
	"Of course. You can't live your life in fear. You have to know when
to take a chance."
	"I'm glad you think so."
	I felt his hand slip behind my neck and he pulled me close to him.
He pressed his lips to mine, and I experienced my first kiss. It was
everything I hoped it would be. I did care for Kevin, even love him in an
increasingly important way. That made it so special. I remember everything
about it. The way his hand slipped around my neck, the feel of his warm,
soft lips against mine. He pulled me closer to him and I felt his heart
beating in his chest. It lasted for only a few seconds, but it was one of
the greatest experiences I had ever known.
	He pulled away and looked at me, slightly afraid. He was probably
scared that I would reject him, but I had no intention of doing so. I
smiled at him and pulled him towards me, returning the favor. That kiss
lasted a little longer than the first, but was no less powerful. By the
time we let each other go, the first thing that I noticed was that we were
both incredibly aroused. The second thing I noticed was that I was
incredibly in love.


In this chapter, Jeff and Kevin discussed a particular poem by
T.S. Eliot. To read "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock," visit
http://www.columbia.edu/acis/bartleby/eliot/1.html
It will help you to understand what they are talking about.