Date: Sat, 26 Sep 2009 08:23:53 -0700 (PDT) From: Tsctv Tsctv Subject: That's life part 10 So sad to see you go (Josh) Brandon was being a little distant he didn't cone by that much and we would talk on the phone fir. Few seconds I started to think maybe we had run our course I sure hoped we didn't considering we just got back together but he really didn't seem to want to be around me and that hurt. (Brandon) Jessica party was rocking. Josh and I danced yes in public we got a few stares but the highlight is when Lloyd joined in it was hilarious we were having a good time. I walked over to Jessica " I think we all needed this party school is over and summer vacation is here" I said "amen to that" we high fived and I laughed until I saw my dad standing at the back door I must have turned a ghostly white "are you okay" Jessica said " I'm fine" I said he then had the gun In his hand I knew what I had to do. I found Whitney and danced with her I started touching her she grabbed my ass I saw the look on josh face he looked hurt he walked up to me "can I talk to you" he said I laughed a fake laugh "for what are you Mad queer that I'm dancing with a girl and not you I never loved you" the words came though my lips like venom I wanted to die inside "don't say that" josh had tears in his eyes " something isn't right you wouldn't be this cruel to me someone is making you do this " he said he touched my hand I pushed him he fell to the ground "I was just experimenting I lied and I wanted to humiliate you in front of everyone from school" Jessica pushed me and helped him up he looked as of he was dying inside people were looking at what was going on "you love me Brandon Lawson" he wasn't going for it Karen came through the door my dad now had the gun pointed at josh I had to make the final blow I said Out loud so everyone could here "if you think I could love a motherless faggot like you are mistaken you sicken me go somewhere and die" josh mouth dropped he looked as if he was suffocating Karen and everyone else looked shocked at what I said I looked over through the doors my father had a big grin on his face he heard everything he put the gun back on his waste and walked away Karen went over to josh he was trembling Whitney came over and grabbed my hand " sorry to break it to you but he's my boyfriend" she said "you two deserve each other" Jessica said with disgust, josh turned and put his head Down " Karen held on to him I wanted to take back everything I said I didn't mean it but I had to protect the boy I loved at any cost even saying that about his mom (Karen) I got my cousin to my car I couldn't believe what Brandon just did that had to be the cruelest thing I've eve seen someone do josh looked I'll " sweetie are okay" I asked he just clung to me like I was his mother and he was my baby I felt the warn tears on my neck from his face "I wish it was me that died I wish or was me that died instead of my mother " he screamed I tried to calm him down but I couldn't "josh let me take you home" he quickly backed away from me "just leave me alone" he said I never seen my cousin so distraught looking he then just took off running "josh cone back here" he ran so fast I didn't see him anymore I angrily went back to the scene of the crime I walked up to Brandon and slapped him as hard as I could every one heard it because they all were looking. Whitney didn't dear say anything "you piece of fucking scum of the fucking earth" he literally brought me to tears " my cousin in the nicest sweetest guy you Or anyone could ever meet and now you've killed him in spirit and He's run off god only know if he isn't trying to jump off a bridge , how could you treat him like that" I said " you don't understand " was all he could say the hand mark on his face was bright red " your right I don't understand , but as of right now you are dead to me we are no longer friends I wiped by tears off my face and walked out Jeff was sitting there " you want me to help look by josh " he said I couldn't let pride get in the way " thank you" I said. (Josh) I ran and ran like there was no tomorrow through the woods I tripped over the bark of a tree and ripped my jeans on the knee I scratched my face I laid there then turned over and with my back on the ground tears rolled down my eyes that Jordin sparks song (was I the only one In love) popped in my heads " when you told me that I was your star in the sky Baby I believed every word And you seem so sincere It was perfectly clear Cause forever was all that heard And every little kiss >From your tender lips Couldn't have been a lie I fell head over hills Without a safety net I don't understand this goodbye Chorus Was I the only one who Feel in love There never really was the two of us Maybe my all just wasn't good enough Was I the only one , only one in love " " mom help me please" I screamed out but nothing happened I got up and wandered until I found myself in front of my dads house I stood at the front door the lights came on I backed away the front door opened my dad came out In his robe we made eye contact " he saw the tears in my eyes the blood on my face the dirt all over me my clothes then my face he moved closer then grabbed me and hugged me I hugged him back tight " dad I'm sorry" I said " shhh daddy got you , I'm here it's okay" Jason came out and saw the commotion " what's going on , josh are you okay" he asked " I never blamed you" my dad said I needed my family and for once they were here for me but it didn't stop my heart from hurting I felt like the pain would eventual kill me. ............. (Brandon) I walked through the front door my dad and mom were watching a movie I was in my car for like an hour balling my eyes out my mom sensed something was wrong she stared at me " baby what's wrong" she asked " ask dad "I said she turned to look at him " it's done I told josh it's over and I never love a faggot like him , you got your wish " tears were coming again my mom rushed to me she held me " I love him mom and even. If he knew the truth he wouldn't want anything to do with me after what I said to him" mom was almost as upset as I was "what is the meaning of this jack" she said "I did this for our son " he said "our son is hurting because if you , what did you say for him to do this" he didn't say anything " he pulled out a gun and made it clear josh was dead if I didn't" she looked furious " jack you would kill a sixteen year old boy " she looked betrayed " you broke up your sons relationship , threatened to kill his boyfriend and abused your power as a husband father and sheriff I want you out of this house" she said " listen to me" he said " no you listen get out or me and Brandon tell your superiors about your plan " she was boiling with anger " they will never believe you" he said he looked at her and saw she was not playing and left out " call josh tell him the truth" she said I picked up. My cell and dialed his number it rung but be didn't pick up " he' not picking up" I said " I wouldn't either if I was him just leave him alone for a few days let things cool off" my mom said. ...................................... (Josh) Over the couple of days I laid in my own bed my dad hadn't change my room I even got use to my little brother but summer was here and I wanted to get out if here for a while I went downstairs and saw my dad and Gloria watching TV they both looked up I sat down next Gloria I wrapped my arm around her shoulder " I'm sorry for that outburst it's just learning everything and you moving in so fast" she stopped me " josh I would never try to replace your mother ever, and I understand I would be pissed to trust me I'm a royal pain" we laughed then hugged dad smiled then I said "I'm leaving for the summer" I announced "where are you going" he asked "I have a friend is California his name is nick I met him through matt he invited me to stay with him" I said he got up and walked to the kitchen three minutes later he came with a blank check "use how much you need my only stipulation is for you to come back when school starts I missed so much time with you partly my fault , so do we have a deal" he said "deal dad" I said back. I went to my room and started packing memories of being with Brandon rushed in my head the good ones like working at the farm and my first time with him to the bad ones when he first pushed me away. the pain eventually turned to numbness I would never let a single soul hurt me again that was A promise I made to myself the next day the cab arrived I hugged everyone goodbye I guess the baby knew I was leaving he cried I picked him up and. Kissed him he smiled I put him back down and left I got in the cab to the bus station I needed time to reflect on everything that happened ............. A few days had passed and I had to see josh I jumped in my car and drove to Karen's house I knocked on the door and matt opened the door " what do you want "is josh here" I said " after all the things you did to him, you want to talk to him" matt said angrily "matt can we talk " I said he came out and shut the door we were on the porch I sat down on the swinging bench "my dad made me do that he couldn't come to terms with my sexuality so he gave me an ultimatum" I said matt finished what I was going to say " either break up with him or he was going to hurt josh" he said "exactly I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he was killed because of my own happiness you should have heard the terrible things I said to him" matt put a hand on my shoulder "Karen told me I know what you said" he said " so can I talk to him" I said "josh moved back to his father house" matt explained he then smiled "let's get your boyfriend back I smiled at that we got in my car and pulled off we went through main matt smiled "I remember coming this way to go to Nathans house his mother was the worst back then" I laughed we got to his house matt and I got out he knocked on the door josh father opened up "uncle Marvin " "matt " they hugged we went in Jason saw me and stood up "you have some nerve Lawson coming around here after what you did to my brother " he said angrily "where is josh " I asked " he left he's on his way to California my guess to get away from you" Jason continued his nasty tirade towards me "my dad threatened josh life and I had to do that to keep him safe they all looked at me "why didn't you just tell him your plan" his father asked " because I love him and I was scared for his life he said "so you sacrifice your relationship for my son" he said "yeah" his father picked up the phone and called josh "sorry he's not answering". my baby was going to spend the whole summer thinking I didn't want him I ran out matt followed. "Where are you going" he asked "to the bus station" I said" I'll drive you" we got in the car and drove to the bus station. We got to the bus we saw the bus starting to pull off I ran as fast as I could I looked at the people through the windows I don't see him I ran to the other side he was sitting there our eyes connect "don't go" I screamed his eyes got watery so did mine "josh I love you" the bus started to pull off he gave me the finger I started running while the bus was moving I was full on crying josh was standing he had his hands pressed against the glass and I ran faster " please don't leave me" I said over and over again as the bus began to pass I fell on the floor the bus was down the block I felt cold alone he was gone and it was my fault. Matt helped me up. I hugged him he held me tight I cried and cried. When I got home mom was preparing dinner "where is he , where is that son of a bitch" I said my dad came down the stairs "you fucking happy the only person I ever loved is gone and because of you" I said "you watch your mouth in my house" he had a stern look "fine because after today I'm will no longer be living here" I was angry and felt bitter "we all should talk" my mother said I walked over to the draw and opened it taking out by fathers gun "what are you doing" he said "you threatened to kill josh if I didn't break up with him now he is gone because he thinks I don't love him" I said "good two boys aren't suppose to love each other " he jumped on me "what are you doing" I said it's not like I was going to use it I was just making a point " stop it " my mother said... then the gun went off silence filled the air my dad looked at me he stood up my mother covered her mouth I was shot I saw the blood "jack what did you do" she said my dad pulled out his cell and called the ambulance the pain didn't hurt I was calm I think that's what got them scared losing josh was more unbearable then having a bullet in my stomach then things seem to drift and it went completely dark. Was I dead? I saw josh he was standing on a balcony he smiled at me I hear the ocean then sirens nothing but sirens. What the hell is this .Baby wake up I need you I hear josh voice. To be continued...