Date: Thu, 6 May 2010 09:18:12 -0700 (PDT) From: Tsctv Tsctv Subject: That's life part 25 That's Life: "Division among brothers" Written by ACJ aka Tsc Josh: How can one day you are on a Mexican trip with your lover then the next your fighting , why is this thing called love so complicated , okay , I know I might not make since so lets rewind before the crazyness happened. (Brandon) "how was your vacation" Brooke smiled at me "it was great actually we had fun in Cancun" I didn't want to mention anything about my brother I noticed something wrong with Brooke though "hey Brooke you okay" I asked she nodded no "wes broke up with me over break , she said "oh brook im sorry, what happened " I asked "apparently he ran into his high school sweetheart when he went back home and the rest is you know , history" I felt bad for her , that Wes guy was at idiot. Karen walked by looking depressed we both looked at her "what's wrong with you" I asked she sighed "a lot , I haven't spoken to Jeff in like a week , since I saw him with that blond bimbo" I couldn't believe what was going on , what the hell happened while Josh and I was away. The bell rung I grabbed my history notebook and closed it" they went to class , so did I . About midway through class the principle came onto the loudspeaker "Joshua Barrett, Brandon Lawson, Tim Finnegan, Sarah Byrd , Zander Smith and Claudia Palmari please report to the guidance counselor's office , the kids looked at me some whispering saying I was in trouble , I grabbed my books and left out , I ran into josh in the hallway "what do you think this is about" he shrugged " I have no clue . We were the first ones there so we took the two seats across from Mrs. Sherwood then the others came in "im am glad you all are here , so today will start the program to get you guys graduating in june" she seemed more exciting then us she handed us all a folder with our names on it , then she told us what the program was based on , we were to spend a hour more in school , Mondays through Wednesday , also hand in weekly assignments on coursework that was in our folders ,also we would have to take a exam in two weeks before our final exams to see if we were really on top of our workload. This was going to be challenging but I knew it would be worth it . After that we had to get going to our next class , me and josh happen to be in that class together , we walked together down the halls "so you ready for all of this" I asked he smiled "piece of cake, and if you need my help you know I got your back" he grabbed my hand intertwining my fingers with his "And maybe your front" I laughed "you are such a pervert , but I love it " I smacked his ass "Nice"" I smiled so did he "Queers" some guy said he looked to be in the ninth grade we turned to him "Watch your mouth" I said aggressively "I was saying it like I see it" he yelled back "how about you go you little cheese dick asshole" Josh said still holding my hand he backed away with his hands up "hey I'm sorry, man calm down" he walked away "Cheese dick?" I laughed "haha I know" (Adam) Why the hell did they come here , why did my brother and that guy have to see me , my life was set , and now they discovered me , there's a lot that isn't known, After I fell into that river . I remember it like it was yesterday *Flashback Brandon and I were close , how could we not , we were identical twins . We moved to upstate from , Long island New York , when we were twelve , the thing is ,we were starting school in a few days in our new place and we didn't know the neighborhood so I wanted to explore ,Brandon didn't he wanted to stay inside and play video games but I didn't I wanted to explore the new neighborhood "Come on Bran, just come with me, you wouldn't want anything bad to happen to your only brother" I stated playing on the brother card he looked up from his game of Sonic the hedgehog at me "okay alright , I will go" he saved his game and shut the tv off , we told mom that we were going to explore a little bit , she told us to be careful and don't go far , we both left out and into the woods "this place is kind of creepy" Brandon stated "aww my little brother is scared" I said mocking him "I'm only your little brother by a few minute" Brandon stated I laughed , as we walked further in the woods "I think we should go back Adam " Brandon said I ignored him "Stop being a wuss" I yelled at him, he kept quiet. And followed me , I felt bad about saying that. Then we got to a river , a small river "lets cross it" I stated I wish I never suggested that , it changed my life forever , there was a tree at the bank of the river and another on the other side, the trees were kind of drooping over as if they were touching I thought I could climb up and cross using the connected branches , "Come on Adam , lets go home" Brandon was annoying me "shut up , I'm crossing then you will too" I climbed the tree "see you have nothing to be worried about" I scooted over and grabbed a branch I swung my legs over and was hanging by the branch over the water. "Adam be careful" I heard Brandon ,I looked over at my brother he was frightened for me I smiled and winked at him , that seemed to ease him , I grabbed the next branch and then it cracked I fell in the water "Oh my God Adam!!!" Brandon screamed I went under water the current was strong It was taking me upstream. (Brandon) When my brother fell into the water. I thought I died , I didn't see him he went under water and was gone , I panicked and ran and ran and ran until I was out of the woods and to our house , mom was in the kitchen I ran in crying "Baby what's wrong" she came over to me "Its Adam , he fell in the river , mom I told him not to go near it" she turned pale white then called dad telling him what happened , mom had me show her where he fell in , I took her she saw his sweatshirt on a broken branch near the grass she ran over and picked it up started sobbing , oh god my baby" she begin crying so did I , minutes later dad came with cops and investigator I had to tell the story over and over again they had divers go into the water nothing , they found his watch, they told my parents there was no way that he survived , but they were adamant that they search further down , so the search began for Adam Samuel Lawson, days turned to weeks and weeks turn to months nothing , no one saw him , no body was found our family was grieving , my parents stuck close to me , they were really protective , I couldn't even go in the back yard without one of them keeping their eye on me , it was this way for a while ., but once I hit high school , they loosen there grip off me, over the years I felt alone even though I was popular , I didn't have my other half that was until I met Josh , I guess a lot of him reminded me of Adam In a few ways but I liked that Josh , was Josh , he didn't try to fit in , he just was and we had our bumpy rides but I wouldn't trade it for anything. (Karen) I thought a lot about , high school , you learn a lot here weather we want to admit it or not , the truth is , we learn skills academic wise but learn how to deal with people , I don't know were any of us will be in five years but I know that I will be okay, Jeff was a playboy and I commend him for trying for me , but sometimes you just cant change a person , you shouldn't have to change someone so they can be with you . I had to move on and fast . I walked to my locker and a rose was attached to it , I figured it was from , Jeff and then I felt hands over my eyes "Jeff this isn't going to make up for what you did" I stated "good thing im not Jeff" I heard a voice a familiar voice , he let go I turned it was Craig " oh my god Craig, what are you doing here" I asked smiling " I had to see the best ex girlfriend ever" I hugged him "gosh you look great , Florida is doing you pretty good" I stated "so are the girls" he chuckled I hit him on the arm "okay stud muffin" I closed my locker "so when are you free" he asked "actually now, its lunch time , then I have study hall, but Its optional how about we go to Joe's before it becomes defunct" I stated "what Joe's going out of Business" he looked shocked "yeah , I'm going to miss that place" we walked out the school and to his car "wow a Beamer" I stated "it's a rental" I laughed we got in and went to Joe's, he parked the car and we went inside we ordered our usual "so how's things with What's his face" I rolled my eyes in a playful way "you know his name" I stated "right Jeff the cheater" he continued "how's things with him" "um we hit a rough patch and I don't know if we can fix it" I stated he got up and sat next to me wrapping his arms around me "that's because he doesn't know a good thing when he see's one" I smiled "what the hell is this" Jeff came up to us "IF you can see some girl then I can see Craig" I stated he looked angry "Karen you don't understand, that girl is not my girlfriend or someone I use to see , she is" I cut him off " I don't care who she is , just leave me and Craig alone" I stated he sat down "Karen she is my Sister, Lisa" he stated "Your sister , why have I never met her I met your brothers Shane and Austin and your sister Chloe but I don't remember a Lisa" I stated "because she's been away at college , she is home now, and applied for a job here , but they aren't hiring because they are closing in a few weeks" Craig rolled his eyes and moved his arm from around me out of respect for me I smiled at him "Thanks" I stated he smiled at me then glared at Jeff "you hurt her I will kill you personally" he nodded "I would never hurt her" our food came "since i ordered two burgers you can have one I guess" Craig said to Jeff, Jeff grinned then extended his hand they shook hands "I'm not after your girl , I'm seeing someone , her name is Catherine , I really dig her" he said "that's cool man" Jeff said "hey , this is all wrong" Craig said while standing "you should be next to your girlfriend" Jeff stood and sat next to me he sat opposite of us, we began to talk about random stuff and ate. It seemed Craig and Jeff were really hitting it off (Josh) I got home from my first day of course work, Brandon and I weren't in the same study group. Jason was putting his coat on "Little bro , lets go to Joe's I'm starved and dad and Gloria and little guy aren't here" I put my book bag down and we left back out , I hoped in the passenger seat of his ford explorer and we were off. We got there and the place was pretty full , we grabbed a seat "so how is school coming along" Jason asked "Great I guess why" I looked into the same brown eyes that I had he shrugged "just want to know whats going on with my little brother is that a crime" he asked "no I guess not , so are you seeing anyone" he shrugged his shoulders "come on Jason , you look like me so your hot , I'm sure the girls are lined around the block" he laughed "aren't we full of ourselves, but I did the whole lets have sex and no strings attached I'm looking for a girl I can have a relationship with. " "look at that my big brother is growing up" I laughed "shut up" he laughed back . Someone stopped in front of our table "thanks a lot , for ruining everything" "yo Brandon calm down" I looked at him "no that's not Brandon its his twin Alex" Jason looked again "are you sure because" I looked at him " I know Brandon, this isn't him" I stated as a matter of fact "you didn't seem to know in Mexico" he spewed "listen what do you want" I stated "I want you to stay out of my life Fag ,Why didn't you mind your business" Adam yelled at me , Jason got up :hey back off my brother" he said "no its okay," Jason didn't want to hear that "that doesn't give him the right to talk to you that way "it does if this idiot just kept his mouth shut everything would have been good" Brandon in and over to us "what's going on" Brandon asked "your jackass of a brother was yelling at Josh" Brandon looked at him then at us "why don't you lay off him he's had a tough time you guys" "he came over to me yelling at me " I stated "you deserved It you idiot" Brandon didn't say anything "Stop talking to him like that before I kick your ass" Jason said "and you think I am going to stand here and let you kick my brothers ass" Brandon said in a threatening tone I couldn't believe this how could he say this , when Adam started , Jason was livid I grabbed my jacket and pulled my brother by his arm "lets get out of here" I said clearly upset "Josh wait" I heard Brandon but I didn't turn around I just kept going , Jason got in the car Brandon came out with Adam in tow "Josh , wait we have to talk, don't leave like this" he came close "talk About what ? The fact that your brother can say what he wants and its all good with you , he insulted me and my brother was just trying to protect me" he folded his arm "and I'm trying to protect him" Brandon snapped back "from what? " I yelled at him "don't yell at me josh, I'm trying to protect him" I looked at him "do you hear yourself, your not twelve Brandon , your not at that river," Brandon just looked at me "I'm not turning my back on him Josh" Brandon warned me "I didn't ask you too, I don't know why your acting this way , but I'm not going to stick around and figure it out, you don't have to turn your back on him but you damn sure turned your back on me" I got into Jason's car and we drove off. (Brandon) Thanks for having my back" Adam said I nodded "you're my brother of course" I stated he smiled "I missed you Bran, I remember that day , you told me not to go so deep in the woods but I didn't listen , I put you and the family to hell , and now I'm back causing trouble between you and your friend" he stated "he's my boyfriend Adam" "About that , come on your just like me , we are twins you cant be gay, mean I heard you were the total ladies man , before that buzz kill came into the picture" "don't talk about Josh like that , or try to tell me what and who I am , Adam its been seven years , I've changed I'm in love with Josh" he look like he was getting angry "no you are not, listen your just experimenting" he was trying to convince me or something i was getting irritated "Don't tell me a damn thing about my life , i'm not that same guy when we were twelve and you use to boss me around , don't try that bull shit with me" "your queer and we are twins people will think I'm queer too" I rolled my eyes "What ever , that's all you care about then go ahead I don't care" he looked at me unbelievably "don't even , I'm the one who fell in the river , not you , no one looked for me, no one cared , once I got that in my head I just accepted it" "that's no true we looked for you for days weeks months years nothing , no one knew nothing , I had to change rooms because I missed you I couldn't sleep in our room we shared anymore" he looked at me sympathetically and patted my shoulders I hugged him hard he wrapped his arms around me "I never thought I see you again" I cried in his neck "Shhh ,its okay bran , its okay" my parents came in "Brandon your with someone new" I heard mom, then we parted my parents dropped their bags "oh my god, is this a trick or something" Adam let go and faced them "Mom , dad I'm home" they rushed over to him hugging him "We thought you were dead" dad said , he tensed up and backed away standing next to me " I have to go" he stated "no your our son , this is your home my god your alive" mom stated "this isn't my home I have family and its not you all, I have to go" he turned to me and hugged me tightly "Brandon I sorry" he walked to the door dad grabbed him "Don't go, we have so many answers he pulled away "I don't owe you people anything" he opened the door and ran out dad went after him mom came over to me "what happened I don't understand" I sighed "mom there's a lot you don't understand." (Adam ) I ran down the block my dad was running after me , but i outran him, i got to a bus stop and a bus showed up I got on , I walked to the back and sat down, how did this all turn out like this i though,t so at this point you all are probably wondering What happened to me , after I feel in the lake , okay I will tell you from what I can remembered. I feel in and I remember struggling I could see the water rushing passed then I blacked out , the next thing I knew I was in a warm bed and a old women was standing over me with a smile at first she was saying something and I couldn't hear her but then my hearing came back "What is your name boy" she said I looked around then at her "um , I don't know" I stated I really didn't , I didn't know who I was , everything seemed so confusing to me "okay , you look like a Alex to me, I`m ms.P" I nodded "Alex, that's my name" she taught me things that I had forgotten , and she was great , and I could tell she loved me , and I loved her she was the only thing I knew after a year of living with her, and she home schooling me , she just died from old age , I called the police and they wanted to know who I was, so I lied and said I was her grandson , they asked if I had any other family , I told them no , then they called for Child protective services and I was carted away from the only house I knew. Next I was put into a group home for boys , it seemed like the people that came to adopt kids only wanted younger kids not boys that were twelve and thirteen, at this time I started developing sexually , I use to catch some of the boys Jerking there cocks and I never really thought about touching that Area maybe due to me not remembering anything before lying in that warm bed. Then I started to imitate them , I would jerk until I got this dry shaking feeling I was told it was a dry orgasm , then the next time I did it , White stuff came out of it I was scared I thought something was wrong with me , but a older boy name Mick told me it was all right It was just cum , I asked what that was he explain its what men produce , and if we have sex with girls the sperm is half of what makes a baby , he told me he would show me the next time I wanted to jerk off, well I was a little shaken up by that so I didn't jerk off for a few days , but after those few days I couldn't resist I told mick I was going to jerk off , he followed me in the bathroom, we locked the door we both pulled our pants down and began stroking he smiled at me rubbing myself that caused me to want to go faster knowing he was happy watching me. Then he did something unexpected he got on his knee's and took my cock in his mouth I moaned it felt so good "What are you doing , what are you " he rubbed up and down my stomach as he bobbed on my cock I was over the edge I never felt like this , then I felt tightening in my balls "its going to happen Mick get off or I'm going to" he kept sucking "Awwww, nooooo" I came in his mouth he slurped on my cock until he drunk all my jizz he took my cock out of his mouth and smiled then moved close and kissed me , the feeling and taste was strange his tongue flicked in my mouth . I felt a fluttering feeling in my body and I was light headed when he kissed me , later I researched this feeling online and what I learned was this was a feeling of love , I smiled "I love Mick" I said not that anyone could hear me , I may have lost my memory but I knew I couldn't let anyone else know this. Weeks went by and he blew me off and I returned the favor I loved his cock sliding in my mouth , then one night he asked to fuck my ass, I didn't know what he was talking about " he was sixteen and I was thirteen without memory" so he pulled down my pants and tighty whities and bend me over then he got on his knees behind me and I felt his tongue on my hole I moved around because it was tickling me he grabbed my waist and drove his tongue in further I jumped it felt good then I felt one of his hands slid in my moist ass "ouch! Mick that hurts" I said "shut up Alex I want you so bad" he drove his finger in and out a couple of times then stood up and pushed my head towards his dick it went in my mouth I began to suck on it "aww bitch that feels good" I didn't like how he was talking to me" I let his dick fall out my mouth "can you stop talking to me like that" I asked he chuckled "Fuck no , suck my dick so I can fuck your tight pussy" he said he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me onto his dick , I felt helpless but I loved him I didn't know it at the time but I loved Mick, his grip loosened and he began to run his fingers through my hair he pushed me away and came behind me , he spread my legs and I felt the head of his cock on my hole "push out like your about you shit" he said I did as he said and his head push in I yelped "it hurts take it out" I cried he placed a hand over my mouth and slid in more "ohhhh that feels so good" I was crying like crazy it felt like he was splitting me in two and I wanted it to stop he began fucking me in and out the pain was so unbearable I just wanted to think happy thoughts I pictured Ms. P the old women who took care of me then a flash happened and I was laying in bed talking to well myself , it was two me's he was opposite me and we were talking and laughing , I was happy , then a groan got me back to reality the pain was gone and I felt pleasure actually " oh man, your better then a pussy" he said he stroked my stomach as he pounded me "I'm gonna cum dude" he said as he was panting I felt sweat pouring from him onto me , he was hitting something making me feel so damn good it was unbelievable "oh here it comes" I felt something shoot into me , it was feeling me up he was moaning so loud , I was sure we would get caught I felt his body shake , then he slid out and kissed my back then he grabbed me held me and kissed me in my mouth "your special you know that" I laid my head on his shoulders giving him small kisses on his collar bone. I thought he loved me at this point we shared this intense sexual moment. But a week later he started going out , coming in late and one day a girl showed up saying she was his girlfriend, they were making out and I was hurt I thought he loved me , he sensed this and tried to make time for me but I just stayed away from him , I was hurt . One night he came to my room and in bed with me I woke up and noticed him looking at me "what are you doing in here" I asked " I miss you" he kissed me " I pushed him away "please just leave me alone" I turned I felt his front on my back he wrapped is arms around me "I cant have people think I'm some kind of Queer" he said I didn't know what that was "what's a queer?" I asked he looked at me for a minute "it's a guy who likes another Guy , its wrong" he stated "then why do you have sex with me then" I asked he looked at me for a minute "because its complicated , I like you and I like having sex with you but I like Gabby and I like to have sex with her too, her pussy is so moist" he said I was getting angry "get out" I said " I'm sorry Alex, I didn't mean to" "just get out of here , if you don't want to be a queer then I don't either" I stated he looked sorry for me or something and he left out , that was the last time I saw him , apparently he and gabby ran away that morning he did leave me a note though I never opened it , I still have it . The next two years were boring nothing interesting happened except I tried to bed every girl I possibly could and it always worked , I started to use my looks to my advantage, I also started remembering a lot about my life , like my name was Adam Lawson and not Alex, and that there wasn't two of me that I remember but actually I had a twin brother , we learned about twins in biology class. When I was fifteen I had sex with Kelly a local girl and she got pregnant with my kid, people were talking around the neighborhood and the group home, her parents were appalled by this and got rid of our kid , I never saw her again that seem to be a pattern that was in my life people leaving me , First , Ms . P then Mick then Kelly so I though why don't I disappear. When I turned sixteen I packed up a few clothes and I left . At first I lived on the streets , finding any warm spot to sleep especially when it was cold , then I met Kevin And Jen , they were the most fucked up couple you could ever imagine , they both thought I was cute and let me stay with them, at first it was normal then she started coming in my room when Kevin wasn't there and had sex with me, and oddly enough he did the same, they both would creep in the room they supplied and had there way with me , I was miserable really but I figured it was a small price to pay for a nice place to stay and food, that lasted for a while , then I decided to pack up taking money from them both , I was pretty much a drifter going place to place , eventually I met a guy name Vinny he was from Long island New york , he had a killer smile and basically paid me to have sex with him , I opened up an account with Vinny's help . I think he started to fall for me , but he was getting married and he couldn't break that , we were together for a few months but that came to a close when he got married , I started to like him but he married her anyway. I decided to leave he called and called but I threw the phone he gave me away. that's when I found my self taking a trip to Cancun Mexico. At this point I denied to myself that I was gay, queer whatever I just used sex with guys as an advantage on my part , except with Mick , to think about it m I never liked guys until I lost my memory and meet Mick . I think I went from straight to Bisexual in the process. In Mexico I had it made , money, beautiful women around wanting to bone me And that's when I ran into Josh and my brother at that point I fully remembered my life but seeing Brandon made me think about the day I feel into the water Today I questioned my brothers sexuality when he was secure with who he is, me on the other hand I wasn't , I had sex with both men and women and it felt good but I didn't enjoy the circumstances , I've been hurt so many times I don't know what I want , I cant complicate my family that way , I wont I rather just walk away. That way i know i wouldn't be a burden on any of them. Adam:Some people say living is worth everything especially if you have people you love by your side , but is that the case when you lose it all and you feel like you have nothing left?... ************************************************************************ *Dreams are only Dreams When you do nothing about them. ************************************************************************ Hope you enjoyed this chapter E-mail me at tsctv1@yahoo.com , have a good day everyone. ************************************************************************