Never Be The Same

Chapter 3

“Mmmmm,” I moaned as I continued to stroke myself at a steady pace.

My eyes were closed and I was fixated on the image of Ryan Gosling touching himself that I had conjured in my mind in my nightly ritual.

I started to stroke faster, my grip tightening on my shaft, feeling shots of pleasure as my hand slid over the head of my dick over and over again.

My free hand was caressing my chest, occasionally twisting a nipple between my fingers. My back arched as the sensations became more intense. I had to stifle my moans so no one would hear me.

I could see Ryan rubbing his hand across his abs, slowly making its way down the front of his pants where a sizable bulge was growing.

I pictured his face, enraptured in ecstasy, eyes tightly shut. And then he opened them to reveal a bright and intense gold. Ryan Gosling’s eyes weren’t gold. But I knew someone whose eyes were, and he was beginning to materialize in my mind’s eye.

Before my mind could fully process and appreciate what it had created, my body was rocked by a sensory overload of pleasure that made me lose all capacity for rational thought. I could feel my groin pulsing as my dick shot out stream after stream of cum all over my chest, some of it spattering on my chin. I had thrown my head back and had involuntary raised the lower half of my body off the bed as if I was being pulled by the navel by some invisible force.

I was breathing heavily at this point and sweat was dripping down my forehead. I could feel myself coming down from the high, fatigue settling in along with my good senses. I had never experienced an orgasm as intense before

Although the image was quickly fading, I could still see the image of a very naked and very, very sexy Dominic in my head. The unbidden fantasy had blindsided me and forced me to confront the feelings I was having for him, which were now sexually laced.

I foresaw myself hiding my boner while we pored over the mundane text of The Great Gatsby and immediately regretted to ever agreeing to tutor a guy like him, a guy who I could barely keep my composure around with and who I was now fantasizing over sexually. And it had only been a day.

As I drifted off to sleep, I willed myself to not have my last lucid thoughts be about Dominic, lest he made his way into my dreams as well.

At school the next day, I avoided the places where people usually congregated before classes started in my efforts to delay any interaction with Dominic. Part of me dreaded it, but part of me was looking forward to it as well. I was nervously twirling the cigarette-pen I had promised to bring him in my hand, thinking of the best way to give it to him without sounding like an overly-eager schoolgirl

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out. It was a text from Alyssa.

        “Where are you? We were tryin to find you in the cafeteria,” it read.

That was where we usually met in the morning, but today I decided that I could not trust myself around the girls right now. They would definitely catch on that something was up and I would have to explain it to them. I wish I was a better liar. Caitlyn was very good at it, she was an expert at being nice to people’s faces and viciously ripping them apart when they were out of earshot.

So, I found myself a spot by the school’s theater where there were only a few people studying or just trying to catch a few more minutes of sleep before class started.

If I told my friends about Dominic, it would make the whole situation even more real by my acknowledging it out loud. And I was sure that they would egg me on about it, it’s what we all did with each other. I didn’t want their optimism either. There was no way I was letting myself or anyone else believe that I actually had a shot with this guy.

        “Finishing up some HW. See u at lunch,” I replied back.

Not even a minute after I had sent the text I received another reply.

        “Everything OK?” she asked.

I thought about how I would reply normally, but then again Alyssa didn’t usually have to text me in the morning to find out where I was. She knew me so well.

        “Yeah, all good.”

Thankfully none of the girls were in any of my classes this morning, so the only people to witness my flustered state were people who didn’t particularly care or pay attention.

I did, however, find myself lost in my thoughts so deep that I didn’t even notice my math functions teacher call on me to answer one of her questions.

“Mr. Connor, do you have an answer to the question” she had asked me, irritation evident in her voice.

“You asked me a question?” I blurted. The whole class giggled around me.

“He looks like he’s thinking very hard about something Ms. V, or someone,” Frank Marko, a chunky guy with eyebrows as thick as giant caterpillars, said obnoxiously as per his usual behavior.

“Enough Frank. Mr.Connor, I strongly suggest that you think about the range of these functions instead of thinking about the girl you currently fancy if you want to pass this class,” she said sternly.

“ Varik..sorry.” I must have been as red as a tomato by then. Oh, if only they knew.

The rest of the class mercifully went on without much incident which continued for the rest of the morning I tried to pay attention, I really did, but my thoughts kept coming back to Dominic, the anticipation of giving him the pen practically making me sweat every time I thought about it. I must have ran through several phrases in my head thinking of the best way to give it to him, none of which made me sound particularly suave, at least from my perspective.

When lunch finally arrived, I made my way downstairs down to the cafeteria. As I reached the second landing, I heard a voice call “Collin!” which sent my heart aflutter.

I looked up and sure enough, there was Dominic, looking as captivating as ever, standing at the top of the steps like a prince even in his tacky school uniform, but nonetheless very regal. It was breathtaking.

I couldn’t find the words to respond. Instead, I just stood there with what must have been a complete deer-in-the-headlights expression on my face and watched Domic descend the steps and make his way towards me.

When he was finally face to face with me, he smiled, extended his hand and said, “What’s up bro?” in his deep, smooth voice.

I took his hand, shook it briefly and let go right away, consciously willing myself not to linger on his touch.

“Hey, uh, Dominic. Nothing much, starving, hehe,” I mustered, weakly.

“None of this Dominic shit, you’re my bud now. It’s Dommmm.” He drew the last word out as if teaching a child how to say a new word. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that he wanted to be friends with me.

“And I do believe you owe me something,” he said, eyebrow raised and his arms folded.

“Um, what are you..Oh!” I nearly dropped my things scrambling to reach into my backpack. I retrieved the pen from the filthy recesses of my bag and abruptly forked it over to him.

“Here,” was all I could come up with. A whole morning of figuring out the right thing to say and that was the best I had.

“Awesome, you’re the best Collin. This is super dope,” he said, carefully considering the pen in his hand. “Don’t worry, I’m not a smoker,” he said, putting the cigarette to his mouth with a smirk on his face.

“That’s good. I mean, it would be totally cool if you did, who am I to judge. But at least you’re healthy, right?” I rambled, not entirely sure what I was saying.

“Yeah you’re right. I did try it once at a party, but I didn’t enjoy it. My mom used to smoke a lot too, before, well you know…” he trailed off, looking like he had caught himself telling a secret.

 “Anyways, you headed to lunch?” he snapped back quickly, straightening himself upright as if shaking off a heavy load.

“Yup.You too?” I hoped I didn’t sound too eager.

“Um, yeah, I just have to grab something in my locker. I’ll see you around later,” he said, all of a sudden looking preoccupied.

“OK, later,” I said. He turned around and climbed back up the stairs, which I thought was odd considering he was originally coming down.

I had brought some leftovers from home for lunch today so there was no need to get in line. Unfortunately, this meant I had to face my friends sooner, and after my very recent encounter with Dominic I was sure to appear flustered to them.

Everybody was well into their lunch when I approached the table. Alyssa was the first to notice my arrival.


        “Well look who’s come out of hiding,” she said slyly with a knowing look on her face.

“Hi to you too. How is everyone today?” I asked, taking my usual seat, wrestling with     myself internally to appear calm and collected.

“Bianca was actually just telling us about her date to semi that just happened this morning,” said Catelyn, rolling her eyes in the process.

“Yes! Oh my god Collin you’ll never guess who asked me today!,” Biana gushed, bobbing up and down in her seat, her big boobs bouncing with her.

“I genuinely have no idea. Who is the lucky chap?”

“Francesco Ianni!,” she yelled.

        “Francesco...He’s on the soccer team right?” I ventured.

“Yes, and he’s a senior! I’m so excited!” She started fanning herself as if she was in shock. From the look on Alyssa’s and Catelyn’s faces, she was alone in her giddiness.

“Oh my god, we have to coordinate. I have to tell him what colors to wear! I’ll see you later everybody!” She rambled on as she got up and practically sprinted away from the table.

“Okay, there is obviously something about this guy that is terribly unimpressive. What’s the deal?” I asked my two remaining friends.

“Francesco doesn’t exactly have the best track record with girls from what I’ve heard,” Alyssa explained. “His last girlfriend dumped him after a week. Rumor has it he’s horizontally challenged.”

        “Horizontally...Oh I get it. Little sausage,” I quipped.

“Yeah and apparently he’s pretty stupid. He nearly failed art last year, he was in my class. Like, who fails art? All you do there is sit and fingerpaint,” Catelyn chimed in.

“Well at least Bianca’s happy right?” I asked, trying to further this conversation as much long as I possibly could .

“For now. We’ll see how long it lasts. I really don’t want to have to deal with post-break-up Bianca anytime soon,” Alyssa said. The three of us collectively shuddered. When Bianca’s last boyfriend, Daniel Pisani, broke up with her, we had to deal with her self-pity and emotional outbursts for weeks.

        The rest of the lunch period went on without much ado. Thankfully, nobody asked me about my unusual behavior. That is, until Alyssa pulled me aside after the lunch bell rang.

“Okay, something is definitely up with you. First you go missing in the morning, and at lunch you look like you’re holding your shit in. What happened? And I know it’s not just nothing,” she demanded, sternly.

Damn it, she knew me too well.

“Last night after I finished working on the article, I was leaving school and I ran into Dominic. Dominic DiCarlo,” I clarified.

        “Yes, your prince charming, I know. Go on.”

“Well he actually offered to drive me home, which was totally cool. He’s..umm. really nice…” I rambled. “I also offered to tutor him.”

“Okay, so what’s the big deal then?” she asked,  but I felt like she already knew the answer.

“I don’t know, Lys. It’s only been a day and I already can’t get him out of my head. I’ve been thinking about him non-stop since yesterday. I lose my shit whenever I talk to him. He’s so gorgeous. And for what? It’s not going to go anywhere.”

It felt really good to get all of that off of my chest, but it also meant that all of these feelings were real, that I definitely had a situation going on.

“Well you can’t do anything about your feelings Collin. But maybe this can be a way for you to learn how to be more confident around guys like him. You can’t go through life being nervous when you have to talk to a cute, straight guy. Right?” she offered. It was a bit helpful, but did very little to make myself feel better.


“Who knows? What if he does like you?” she continued.

“Don’t. Don’t even let me think that Lys. It’s bad enough that I’m thinking it, I can’t have you giving me hope about it. That’s the last thing I need.

“Should have thought twice before agreeing tutoring him. Might as well make the best of it. At the very least you get a new friend out of this. Who knows, maybe he’ll even invite you to the parties all the hockey players throw all the time,” she said encouragingly.

I hadn’t even thought about that. I wasn’t the partying type per se, but I had never been to any of those parties and was always intrigued in what happened at them. Even the possibility of being in the “in-crowd” was tantalizing in that moment, Maybe this would work out somehow.

“I never thought about it that way. I just have to try and keep my cool around him. Right. I can do this,” I said, although not very confidently.

“Sure you can. Anyways, I’m already late for class. Try not to beat yourself up today to much?” she asked, placing her hand on my shoulder.

“I’ll try not to, no promises.”

She smiled and walked away briskly.

Alyssa always knew what to say to help me feel better, and I was feeling a little bit more optimistic about moving forward with tutoring Dominic. In fact, it felt like I was embarking on some sort of new high school adventure. For the first time, I was a bit excited.

Hey guys. I hope you enjoy the latest chapter of Collin and Dominic’s story. Thankfully you guys didn’t have to wait 6 months for this one. I’m finally getting the hang of writing regularly. As always you can send your feedback to