Never Regret Yesterday
This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between two male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There will be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme.
If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. tlc_TLC_uk-Stories:Trust retains copyright to this story. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.
Booya, Peeps! Hey here we are again. Didja miss us? Well, we were truly overwhelmed with the email responses. We've had over 80 emails telling us how much you've enjoyed the series. Awesome! We felt like we owed you another page in our life! Ole JW told us for every email you get there are probably 100 other people who read the story and loved it but didn't respond with an email - So to all those who sent us an email, thanks. To those who didn't we're waiting - Jordan
Hey Dudes! J-Dude is right we almost didn't write this episode of our life, but when the emails started to pour in we got really excited. We really love all of you who responded. We always reply. I wrote this episode. I guess the point I'm trying to get across is be yourself and don't try to be something you're not!- Oh, yeah, and another big thank you to our new friend Ole JW - this dude is AWESOME!
Sam & Jordan <-- our email address...
Nearly every Saturday from morning March through November you could count on finding Tommy Jones, Sam and I on the bike trails at Alum Creek and at least once a month we'd join a few other mountain biking enthusiasts in cleaning and fixing up the trails. It sort of pissed us off that a lot more people used the trails on a regular basis and yet you rarely saw a new face show up for doing the repairs. I don't know I guess they think mother nature cleans up the messes they leave around. However, this Saturday proved to be one of those rare occassions.
I was shooting the breeze with Sam and Tommy waiting for Bill Jenkins to turn up with the tools when I hear someone behind me.
"Yes," I said turning around. I immediately recognized his face, but I couldn't believe how he'd changed. He was a babe! Slightly taller that me, jet black hair, dimples when he smiled and blue eyes."Terry! Whoa dude, you've grown!"
He laughed, "I almost couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you. I thought you were in Chicago. Are you back here now? Where do you live?"
"Yeah, been back since last September, dude. We live on the Northwest side of town now."
I introduced him to Sam and Tommy and about that time Bill arrived with the tools and we all set to work. While we were working we talked about old times and old friends.
"Say, Jordan, we're having a school dance this Friday night. Why don't you come? Hey, Bill, Pete, George, Marsha will all be there. It'll be like old times," Terry asked as we were leaving in Tommy's SUV.
"Well, I don't know. I really would like to but well I'm..."
"Come on man! We'll have a great time and I know everyone will want to see you, especially the girls! I think Marsha still has a crush on you and man she is FINE! You gotta, say yes!"
"Okay," I said sort of reluctantly.
"Great man, call ya later dude, peace out!"
Tommy dropped us off at Sam's.
"You really want to go, dontcha?" asked Sam as we sat at the kitchen table eating sandwiches his mom had made for us.
"It would be really great to see all my old friends, but I want you to go with me," I said.
Sam looked at me shook his head and gave me his 'Yeah, RIGHT!' expression. "I'm not ready to come out to the world, Jordan and I don't think you are either. My going to the dance with you is sort of obvious. And I know I'd want to dance with you and that would lead to kissing...or just sitting around feeling out of it while you guys are talking about your good old times."
"As usual you're right, well I just won't go," I said taking another bit of my sandwich.
We sat in silence for a few moments while feeding our faces.
"I think you should go. I know you want to go and this is just one of those things we can't do together and that's fine with me, dude. Look, dude they're your old friends, they'll want to see you. You should go and you should have a good time. Hey, I love you and I don't want you to use me as an excuse for not seeing your friends."
"I really want to go, Sam. Are you sure it's okay?" I asked.
The week seemed to drag along. The closer it got to Friday the more excited I felt about seeing all my old buds. I had talked to Terry nearly everyday and he said everyone was going to be there and they couldn't wait to see me.
Friday finally arrived. As I got dressed I kept thinking about Sam. I looked in the mirror. Yep, I looked cool. I was ready to go. I looked in the mirror again I felt something was missing. "Oh, well, must me my nerves. Yeah, that's it" I said to the image in the mirror, "It's just nerves." I turned and left for the dance.
"Hey, Sam! Waasup?" Lauren said as she sat down, "Where's J-Man?"
I looked up too see her. She's a girl about my height, pretty and a fairly decent bod. We've known each other since first grade. Other than my parents and Jordan she's the only one I've come out to. She actually asked me if Jordan and I were an item. She said at the time that it didn't matter to her because she was gay too.
"Hi, Lauren. He's gone home. He has lunch at home most of the time," I replied.
"You haven't broken up or anything have you?" she questioned.
"No. I just had some homework to complete for biology and going home for lunch - well it would get done."
"Oh, cool. You two are so perfect together" she smiled.
"Yeah." I went back to eating my lunch.
After a few minutes of silence she kicked my foot. I looked up at her.
"Okay, Dude, waasup? And don't tell me the sky or nothing, Sammy. I've known you since forever!" she demanded to know.
"Well, it is nothing, really!" I said and she gave me such a look. Sort of like 'Yeah, right!' "Okay, but it's no big deal. One of Jordan's old friends invited him to a school dance. Jordan accepted, but then he changed his mind because of me. You know it wouldn't fly my tagging along as his date. Anyway, I knew J-Dude wanted to go, so I told him he should go."
"Yeah, that's a real piss off that you can't just be yourselves! Always having to be careful so some homophobe doesn't go ape shit on you," she said.
"Yeah, well that's fucking life, ain't it!" I said angrily, "I gotta jet, later dudette!"
"Sam are you sure you don't want to go out with your dad and me?" Mom asked.
"Sure, Mom. I'm fine really. I've got some writing to do and tons of reading to catch up on. And there's always TV. You guys deserve a night out you know. Go have fun. I'm a big boy now I can look after myself" I said cheerfully.
"Okay. Well, call us if you need us, love," she said and gave me a peck on the cheek.
It was 8:30pm. Jordan will have been at the dance for an hour.
I was alone.
I went to my room brought Winamp which started playing my last selections. The first song was Blink182 - 'Adams Song'. I just plopped down on my bed and listened to the song feeling sad. That was followed by 'Casablanca' sung by Bertie Higgins. Music has such an emotional effect on me. I missed Jordan. I know I shouldn't feel this way but deep, deep down I wanted him not to go. I wanted him to choose to stay with me. I guess I'm just selfish, but it still hurt. As I listened to the music I started crying. I felt so empty without him.
I arrived at the dance about 7:30. Meeting my old friend was cool. I guess, but things had changed. They seemed the same. It must have been me who had changed and I began to realize that I didn't belong here. I missed Sam.
It's really weird. Here I am in a crowd of people that I used to know, but I feel like a stranger.
I was dancing with Marsha Hensley when I just stopped dancing. I wasn't having fun. I love to dance but it was like I was dancing on automatic. No emotion, no feeling.
"What's wrong Jordan?" Marsha asked.
I just looked at her for a moment.
"I'm sorry Marsha. It's not you. It's just that I shouldn't be here. I should be with the one I love." I turn and walked out of the gym to the parking lot.
I arrived at Sam's about 8:30. I let myself in. I could here music coming from Sam's room. I ran up the stairs and as I entered the room I saw Sam lying on his bed. 'Casablanca' was playing. I walked over to him and touched him gently on the shoulder. He looks up at me with tears rolling down his cheeks.
I guess I was crying too. All I know is that everything would be fine now.
"Dance with me, Sam. Because you are the only one that makes me happy when I dance."
We danced. We were happy. We were together.
That's all for now folks! (Unless we get another onslaught of emails-hint)