Disclaimer: This story involves love, relationship, and "adult" subject matter between teenage boys... so I guess that means your not supposed to read this if your under 18, but really if you are younger than that, I can't stop you. Just Don't Get Caught :)  If homosexuality offends you, then leave, or join the 21st century, and open up to it.

This Is FICTION... any character resembling a real life person is by coincidence, and in the rare event a character is based on someone in real life their name has been changed due to legal and personal protection.  You never know who's lurking around reading this.  So now the little spiel is over so hopefully someone will enjoy this.  Do Not Reproduce this story, and if you would like to have it on your web site, email me & get my permission. Thanks.  This is my first story so try not to crucify me to bad. Copyright Jaden 2002

Ever feel like you heart just shattered into a million pieces?  That's exactly how I felt when I saw him walk through that door.  Tyler?  Tyler is Kai's "mystery girl"?  How could this be happening?  I finally work up enough courage to come out to Kai, and then I find out the reason I'm doing it, Tyler, is his boyfriend.  A million thoughts are running through my head, and only one of them makes sense to me right now.  I need to get out of here.  Now how I go about doing that I don't know, but I have to get out before I completely breakdown.  Kai had obviously noticed my change in demeanor.

"Blade, say something."

I tried to look at him, but looking him in the eyes is definitely going to give me away.  "So you... you're gay?"  Great genius, just great.

"Well yeah....."

"Oh, so how long have you been together?"

I took a glance over at Tyler, and he looked very uncomfortable.  It looked like he was going to stare a hole through his sneakers.

"It'll be 6 months on Friday.  It only took me three and a half years to grow some balls and tell him how I felt."  He was practically glowing with happiness.  "It was the best day of my life."  He patted the bed beside him, and Tyler walked over and sat down.  He would not look up for anything.  Kai took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"What's wrong baby?"

Tyler looked over at Kai.  "Noth... Nothing, I'm fine."  Kai looked skeptical at that response.

"Come here."  With that he pulled Tyler into an embrace, and kissed him passionately on his gorgeous lips.  That was way too much for me.

"I uh.. I uh have to go"

Kai broke off the kiss.  "What... wait dude, why?  You just got here and you said you wanted to talk about something important."

"Uh, forget it, it doesn't matter.  I just have to go, um I've got a lot of homework.  I'll see you later."  I didn't give him a chance to respond, I walked out of that room as calmly as possible, then made a bee line to the front door.  My vision was starting to blur, the tears were just filling my eyes.  I got the door open and started to walk out, when someone grabbed my arm and spun me around.  Tyler.  I had no choice, but to look him in the eyes.  He could see the hurt in them, the tears on the brink of overflowing at any second.  The thing was I could see that same hurt mirrored back in his own eyes.  He didn't say a word; I think if he tried his waterworks would start as well.

"Tyler, just let me go.  I.. I have to go. Please."  I was practically pleading with him to just let me get out that door.  I felt the tears start streaming down my face.

"Please stay"

I just looked at him again.  There's no way I can stay here.  I pulled my arm away and took off out the door.  I fumbled with my keys but eventually got in my car.  I started it up and took one last glance back at the doorway.  Tyler was using the door  frame for support, as he was visibly shaking, with tears falling from his eyes.  I wanted to go back and hold him so bad, but I couldn't.  I turned the radio up and headed back to my house.  I don't know how I made it back with my vision being impaired by my crying.  I locked the car up and made my way to the door.  No one was home; looks like a bar night for my mom.  I have barely seen Eric for the past couple of weeks.  He either has a girl or he's got a posse of friends he's been rollin' with.  I went into my room and locked the door.  I don't need anyone coming in here and seeing me like this.  I'm in no mood to explain it.

To say it was a restless night would be a gross understatement.  I couldn't stop thinking about Tyler, no matter how hard I tried.  Why do I always fall for the ones I can't have?  Another town, another heartbreak.  Story of my life.  I must've cried enough tears, to solve the local drought problem.  I've always told myself crying was for the weak, that I was too strong to let myself break down like this.  That's how I always was up until my dad died.  He passed away 2 years ago, a victim of cancer.  I won't go into heavy details, but it was tough.  He was such a strong person.  I never once saw him cry even though he knew he was fighting a losing battle.  He gave me my passion for hockey-- hell, he taught me how to skate when I was four.  I didn't cry, not once, even in the last days when I knew he was going to be gone.  I told him I loved him, and made sure he knew I was there, even though the heavy morphine he was on impaired him to the point where he could barely talk.

Dad died at home with me, Mom, Eric, Gram, Gramps, and my Uncle, his brother, there at his side, at the age of 39.  Everyone was breaking down and I could feel the sadness.  So I took off outside--I couldn't breathe and needed out.  When I came back there was a lot of people there, crying and offering their support.  Me, being the smart ass I am, cracked a joke that lets just say  involved my uncle and a dog. It got everyone laughing, even the Reverend!  I went through the motions at the wake, where I once again put up my front and smiled to everyone that came by.  At least 500 people came to that wake, and that made me so proud to know that all these people cared.

I think what kept me going was Joey.  He was my best friend and my rock through it all.  At the burial I was fighting the tears but when Joey came up to me with tears in his eyes and gave me a hug, the dam broke.  Ever since then I cry at the dumbest things--movies, stories and so on.  It's like the walls came down and they won't go back up.  I'm not trying to compare my heart break about Tyler, to my dad's death, but it hurt just as much, if not more, as lousy as that may sound.

I got up at 4:30 to get ready for practice.  I'm going to fall flat on my face on that ice with only about an hour of sleep.  I head downstairs and my mom was sitting on the couch.

"Mom, what are you doing up?"

"What's wrong?"  I don't know how she knew something was wrong.  There's no way she could hear me crying from downstairs.

"Nothing's wrong.  I'm fine, just tired that's all."

"We don't talk anymore but I can still tell when something's wrong."  Grrrr... damn motherly Miss Chleo powers!

"Well I can deal with it.  I always do.  Don't worry about it, I can handle myself.  I have to go.  The captain has to unlock the locker room."   I gave her a hug and left.  I don't need anyone's help.  If she wants to help me, then she needs to help herself and stay out of the bar.

Practice was uneventful at best.  I was dragging my ass the entire time.  Coach noticed it and called me aside.  "Blade, what's going on with you today?  You look like a zombie out there."

"Gee, thanks Coach.  That's the look I was going for.  Never too early to practice for Halloween."  Hey, tired or not, I'm a smart ass.

"Well, I want you to skip running today and go home and get some rest.  You know that my door's always open if you need to talk, son."  Yeah right, I'll just waltz into his office and say I'm a mess because the boy I fell in love with is dating my best friend, so my heart is kind of broken right now.  Right, that'll happen.

"Thanks Coach"

I hit the showers, not even close to being in the mood to take in the eye candy around me.  They can't compare to Tyler.  Shit!  Why can't I just stop thinking about him?  I went to my locker and got dressed.  Scott was there, his locker being across from mine. I didn't feel like talking to him, so I got dressed quickly and headed out.  I noticed him turning around as I was leaving, trying to figure out where the hell I went.  I just need time away from everyone.

I arrived at first period, a few minutes early.  Mr. Shatan almost had a heart attack right then and there.  "Mr. Steven's has hell frozen over?"

"You tell me, you teach here."

"Well I see your attitude is still intact.  Take your seat, maybe you can actually try to listen today."

Yeah right.  Me, listen?  What does this guy take me for?  I decided to use my book bag for a pillow and catch some z's.  Of course that lasted a whole 3 minutes until the bell rang.  I looked up to see Kai walking to his seat.  For some reason I totally forgot that he was in just about all my classes.  Guess my judgment is a little messed up.

"Hey."

"Hey."  Can we say tension?

"You're early."

"Yeah."  I'm such a conversationalist.

"Are you mad at me?"  He had a look of nervousness mixed with fear.  Ah, he must think I'm pissed because of the whole him being gay thing.

"No."  Just pissed at myself for being an idiot.

"Then why aren't you talking to me like normal?"

"Am I on trial here?  If not, then knock off the interrogation."  OK, a bit harsh.  I know it's not his fault that he's in love with Tyler.  Just I'm miserable, and misery likes company.  He gave me a hurt look.

"Soorrrry, geez."  Well that conversation went well.

I didn't say another word to him through the rest of the morning.  Time for lunch.  I can do this...  just be strong.  I headed to our table and I noticed the whole gang was there.... including the always late, but for some reason happens to be early today, Tyler.  I took one look at him, and I knew I couldn't do this.  Unfortunately they spotted me as I was turning around, so now they knew I was ditching them.  I almost walked right into Ben, the sophomore from the hockey team.

"Sorry Ben, I wasn't watching where I was going."

"No problem, I'm still in one piece.  I never thanked you for sticking up for me to Sean.  Sooo, thanks!"  Goofy kid.

"Anytime.  Well I have to go find someplace to eat so I'll see you around."

"Wait why aren't you eating with Scott and those guys?"  This school is going to produce an awful lot of lawyers.

"Long story that I don't want to go into."

"Well you can come sit with me at my table.  I know, the sophomore thing and all, but a lot of the guys from the team sit over there."

"Thanks for the offer, but I need to get out of here for a bit.  Maybe tomorrow.  Later bud."

"Later."

Well that wasn't so bad.  I decided to hit the local mall, and pick up some chinese food.  I absolutely love chinese food.  I could never get sick of it.  I finished up pretty quickly so I decided to look around a little bit.  I headed into FYE, a music store, to check out what was new.  I have way too many CD's as it is, but hey, I could use something new.  Hmmm, what to buy, what to buy.  Got it, got it, got it, got it, don't want it... Damn, does music really suck this bad lately?  Ah, here we go... Craig David.  I take it up to the check out counter quickly, as I only have a little bit of time before I have to be back at school.  A nice looking girl checks me out.... err, the cd that is.

"Hi, how are you?"

"I'm OK. How about you?"

"I'm great, thanks.  So Craig David, huh?  Good taste."

"Thanks, I try."

"Say, you wouldn't happen to be looking for a job would you?  We are understaffed at the moment and really need some help."  She flirts with me, then asks if I need a job?

"Well actually I could use some extra cash.  I play hockey so I would only be able to work part time though."

"That's fine!  Fill this application out, even though you won't need it, and drop it off when you get a chance.  I look forward to working with you.  I'm Michelle by the way."

"I'm Blade.  Nice to meet you.  And thanks a lot.  I have to head back to school, so I'll drop the application off later.  See you soon."  Hey, just because I flirt doesn't mean anything.  Besides it got me a job, didn't it?

I took my CD, and headed back to school.  Late again.  Oh well, it's only art class. The teacher barely notices who's there a majority of the time anyway.  Now, there's no assigned seats in art, I just always sit next to Kai.  I walked in and Kai looked up at me.  He looked at me expectantly.  I just am not ready to act like things are OK.  I took a seat at the table near the door.  Kai gave me a hurt, or maybe it was an angry, look.  I started in on my drawing.  I didn't even notice when he got up but the next thing I know he's standing right next to my seat.

"What the fuck was that Blade?  I thought we were best friends and now you can't even stand to be near me, let alone talk to me?"

I was caught off guard by his outburst.  I looked around the room.  Obviously the other kids either didn't hear him or didn't care.  "We are best friends.  Look Kai, I have to work some things out... I just can't be around you or Tyler for awhile."  I know I'm being an asshole, but I need time.  I'm not trying to hurt him, I just have to be tough.

Now I know the look he gave me earlier was a mix of anger and hurt, because he gave it to me again just ten times more visible.  "Whatever.... I trusted you with my biggest secret and now your pulling away from me because of it."  With that he went back to his seat.  I felt like shit and I could feel the tears coming up again.  I got up and went to ask the teacher for a pass.

"Miss Kelly, may I be excused please?"

"Blade you came in late and now you want me to excuse you from class?"

"Please, I really need to get out of here.  I've finished my project, I was just working on some drawings."

"OK, but just this once.  You are a very talented young man and I don't want to see you waste that talent by not attending class."

"Thanks, I promise I'll be here tomorrow."

"You'd better.  Now get out of here.  Oh, and Blade, cheer up.  You'll break many more hearts with a smile on your face."

I give her what I can muster up of a smile and head back to my seat to grab my stuff.  I can feel Kai's gaze on me but there's no way I'm looking at him.  As soon as I'm out the door, I realize I don't know where the hell I'm gonna go for the next half an hour.  I decide to just go sulk in my car for the rest of the period.  I throw in my new CD, and just try to relax.  A couple of the songs were getting to me, though I tried my best to keep the tears away.  I had to finish the rest of the day and I don't want to walk back in there with red streaks all over my face.  I got through a little over half of the CD when I heard the bell ring.  Time to go.  I'm dreading gym class, knowing that Tyler will be there.  I get to the locker room and notice everyone just sitting around, Tyler no where to be seen.  Coach came out of his office.

"All right guys, we are going to have free period today.  The people down in the drama and music department are asking for anyone who can sing to come down to the auditorium and try out.  They are running short on people.  So I encourage any of you who have a decent voice to go down there and help them out.  The rest of you can do homework, talk amongst yourselves, or grab a basketball and shoot some hoops for awhile.  That will be all."

Great.  I don't feel like sitting here so I decide to head down to the auditorium.  I get down there and the head of the music department tells all of us there to follow him to the music room.  He had us run through some simple songs, nothing to challenging.

"OK, now I would like Blade, Jordan, Mike, and Carla to come talk to me outside for a moment."  We went outside the room, and waited to find out what was going on.  "You four, without a doubt have what it takes to be here.  I would like you to find a song you could sing for the rest of the group and instructors after school.  I will give you a pass to get you out of your last period class, if you need to go home and get some music.  This is just to see what the current members of the class think of your singing.  You will only have to sing a portion of the song.  Please be back as soon as possible.  Thank You."

So we were given passes and sent away.  I hopped in my car and headed home.  I had a song in mind, and luckily I had the portion of the song that was released on a CD.  CD burners... gotta love them!  I decided to take my time, as I still had a little while until I had to be back.  I really need to organize these CDs, then maybe I could find what I'm looking for once in awhile!!  Finally, I found the right cd.  I threw it into the computer and brought up my mixing program.  I used it to take out the voice of the singer, just so I would have the background music.  I threw a blank CD in the burner and burned the song.  Technology is sweet.  I jumped in the car and headed back to school.  I was actually in a little better mood-- I love music and singing is something I really like to do.  I pull into the parking lot and head to my usual space.  Everyone is headed to their cars and buses, as school has just let out.  I grab the CD and head to the auditorium.  There's a decent amount of people, guess this is a pretty big thing.  I scan the crowd looking for the others that were with me trying out.  Then my eyes stop.  Shit!  What the hell was I thinking?  Tyler was standing by Kai at the end of the stage.  Damn it, I knew Tyler was into this stuff and it didn't even register that he would be here, let alone Kai.  They haven't spotted me so I quickly duck backstage and look for the instructor.  I found him talking to the other people that were at try outs.

"Blade, I was beginning to think you backed out. "

"Um, actually can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, you three go out on-stage and wait for your turn.   So Blade what did you need?"

"I don't think I can do this."

"Why not?  You have a very talented voice."

"I just don't think I can go out there... stage fright and all."  I lied through my teeth.

"Oh Blade, everyone gets stage fright.  You'll be fine... we need you out there, so go get 'em."

Great. Another fine mess I've gotten myself into.  I went out on-stage and stood next to Carla.  One of the other instructors came on-stage with a microphone.

"Welcome everyone.  I appreciate all the people who have come down to help us fill the rest of the program.  Right now we have 4 four people already in the show and we have four who are going to sing us a piece of a song each.  This is just to get familiar with the new people and to see if they will fit well into the production.  Let's start with Carla."

Carla gives me a nervous glance then heads out on stage.  She chose Alicia Key's Fallin' for her song.  This girl could sing!  She belted out every note, not missing one.  Jordan and Mike went next, so lucky me got to go out there last.  I usually look for a song that expresses how I feel, so I picked AJ Mclean's "I Just Wanna Be Happy."  OK I guess this is it.  They cued the music and I went out on stage.  I saw Kai and Tyler just freeze up when they heard my name called.

"I've seen people come and go"
"Seen people throw out love"
"And as my mother told me"
"She said don't let life control me"
"But I did"

"You split, your leaving me"
"Whatchu think of me now?"
"Who I am"

"I'm everything you wanted me to be"
"As you can see"
"I'm not very happy"

"I need some time to find myself... completely"
"And I need some time to find true love"
"And if I can't then I won't stop trying"
"If I don't then I won't live lyin'"

"What do people really want?"
"They wanna be happy"
"They wanna be happy"

I'm glad we were only required to do part of a song... I was getting way to emotional in front of all these people.  I must've done a good job, as everyone got up and cheered.  Guess this means I'm in.  I took a quick look over at Kai and Tyler.  They had smiles on their faces, but I think they were more a sad kind of smile than anything.  The kind where they're happy for me but the situation is hurting them.  I guess I'm a selfish asshole, but I can't be any kind of friend to them until I can work things out with myself.    The head instructor, Mr. Trollis, looks happy.  Guess his lineup is going to be full.

"I want to thank all of you for coming down.  It was a pleasure to hear such talented voices.  Well, you all made the final cut.  Now the concert will be this coming Saturday night.  That means we have less than a week to prepare.  It is imperative that we all are here after school to practice.  Our "veterans" as I call them--Kai, Tyler, Emily, and Veronica--will answer any questions you may have.  They are here to help you, so I suggest you get to know them and if you need anything ask them.  So I would like for you all to stay here for awhile, while myself and the other instructors talk about the lineup.  We will let you know what order you will be singing in.  So go mingle and get to know each other."

Mr. Trollis walked back stage with the other various instructors to discuss how things would go down on Saturday.  I guess I'll have to talk to him about the after school rehearsals.  I can't be running and coming here to sing at the same time.

Looks like everyone is starting to "mingle" with each other.  Great, just what I need.  I think I'll just sit over here and look over some homework.  Let's see English or History?  Oh, what am I talking about?  It's like choosing to get hit in the head with a bat or a big stick.  I glanced over at where the rest of the students were and noticed they must've started to go off and do their own thing.  The groups seems to have diminished significantly.  Kai is talking to Jordan, Carla seems to be hitting it off with Mike and Emily, Veronica seems a little to preoccupied with herself at the moment.  Where did Tyler go?

"Hey."

Hello! I think I jumped right out of my seat.  Why do people do that?  A little warning is always nice.  Of course it could only be one person.

"Tyler... don't do that to me!  You want me to have a heart attack before I'm legal?"

"Nah, I figured I better sneak up on you so you couldn't runaway before I got to ya."

Great explanation time part two.  Now I really don't want to be mean to him, but I have a feeling he's not going to let me shake him like Kai did.

"Who said I would runaway?"  I knew damn well what he was talking about.

"No one in particular, but I kind of gathered from last night that you were going to avoid me."

"And?"

"Well Kai kind of told me about your little confrontation in art.  So you can't be around us?"  I could tell this was not going to go well.

"I just need to be alone.  I just can't handle being around you guys right now."

"So that... that's it?  You just don't want me around anymore?"  OK, this is exactly what I didn't want to happen.  He's taking it personally and now I'm making him start to tear up.

"Tyler, you don't understand."  Great Einstein, that's gonna make him feel a whole lot better.

'Then make me understand.. I need to understand."  I couldn't look at his eyes anymore.  It was like he was trying to read my thoughts.

"Look just drop it all right?  I can't deal with this right now."  The tears were on the brink of streaming down his beautiful face.

"I don't want to lose you Blade... "  he put his hand on my shoulder, and in that instant I could feel everything inside me just start to torment me.  Butterflies in my stomach?  Try something like birds, pecking me apart.  I quickly shrugged his hand away.  I threw my homework in my book bag and stood up.  The look of hurt on his face was unbearable.

"So that's it, huh?  You're so disgusted by me that you act like I burned you by touching you.  I can't believe this..."  With that he just about broke down into full blown hysterics.  How could I do this to him?  At that moment, all I could think to do was leave before I made things worse.  I looked at Tyler as I walked by him.  He looked straight into my eyes, like he was piercing my soul.  It was like reliving yesterday, the hurt in our eyes mirroring each other.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to him and left the auditorium.  I figured Kai must've caught on to what happened, so it would be best to avoid another confrontation with him today.  I don't know why, but instead of heading home I went straight to the local beach.  I just planted myself in the sand as far away from everyone else as I could get.  There was just something about the waves that was so calming, peaceful even.  I must've laid there for a good few hours, until the stars came out, and everyone was just about cleared out.  As soon as I stepped in the door the bitching session began.

"Where the hell have you been?  It's going for eight o'clock."  My mom was pissed.

"I was at the beach."

"Well, ever heard of the phone?"

"Look I'm not going to stand here and listen to this.  I'm not a little kid, I can handle myself.  I don't need protection from you or anyone.  I've had a shitty day as it is."

"Watch your language..."

"Are we done?"  I just glared at her.

"Go"

I stalked up to my room and slammed the door.  I just laid down on the bed and tried to go to sleep.  At least then I won't have to think about anything.  Not ten minutes later there's a knock at the door.

"What!?"

"Can I come In?"  It was Eric.

"Yeah, I guess."

He slowly opened the door and made his way over to the bed.  He gave me a tentative look and started in on whatever it was that he wanted.  "What's wrong?"

"Everything.  Nothing you have to worry about though."  He looked skeptical at that.

"Well, Kai called like 5 times, and he didn't seem to happy.  I think you should call him and fix whatever is wrong before it gets worse."  Smart kid, but he doesn't know the situation.

"If it was that easy, I would.  But it's not."

"Does it have something to do with Tyler?"  Ooook... definitely wasn't expecting that.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Kai said he needed to talk to you.  Something about Tyler being hysterical, or something like that."  I hope he just meant what happened in the auditorium today.

"Is that all he said?"

"Yeah, he wasn't to talkative, just seemed a little frustrated.  So call him OK?"

"I guess..."

"No, call him."

"Fine."  I expected him to leave after that, but much to my amusement he got up and grabbed the phone.  He gave it to me and made sure I dialed the number before he left.  Kids these days!

"Hello?"

"Kai."  I paused momentarily.  "Eric said you called."

"Yeah I did.  What the hell happened today with you and Tyler?"

"Why doesn't he tell you?"

"I can't get him to say more than two words without him breaking down and sobbing!   Now what did you say to him?"

"I told him the same thing I told you.  That I can't hang around with you right now."

He paused, most likely to think about what he was going to say next.

"Blade, I don't know exactly what's going on with you, but I have a pretty good idea.  If you have a problem with our lifestyle then there's nothing I can do about it.  It's not something we can change.  I just thought you were better than most people."

"Kai, it's not.... "

"I don't want to hear it, OK?  We'll be in school tomorrow and if you want to prove you're my friend.... Tyler's friend, then act like it when you see us.  I have to go.  Jordan's on the other line.  Bye."

Kai thinks I'm a homophobe.  He has absolutely no idea how wrong he is.  Not like I could just come out and tell him I'm pulling away from him because I'm in love with his boyfriend.  And did he say Jordan was on the other line?

Somehow, I actually got some sleep, probably from feeling physically exhausted the last couple of days.  I decided I didn't feel good enough to go to school when I woke up, which wasn't a complete lie, but not completely true either.  I called Coach and let him know I wouldn't be in today.  He wasn't to thrilled, but he said he would rather have me take the day to get better, instead of getting worse and not being able to play 100% Friday night.  Eric was cool enough to let the attendance office know I wouldn't be in today.  It was a very uneventful day, I basically slept all day, getting up only to eat and use the bathroom.

The next day I went to practice and school as usual.  Of course, I completely avoided Kai and Tyler.  Except for during class, I didn't see either one of them.  They obviously weren't to happy about it, but I couldn't blame them.  I did happen to notice that Carla seemed to be flirting a lot with Kai in class.  Guess he has another admirer.   She's in for a surprise.  I guess Coach had talked with Mr. Trollis, and had worked out that I would run today, then  tomorrow I would go to rehearsal.  The day basically went by in a blur.   After running, I headed over to the mall to drop off my application.  Michelle wasn't there, so I just made sure that the guy working let her know I dropped it off for her.    That was pretty much the end of my "exciting day".

Thursday, I was planning on doing the same thing I did yesterday, but I guess I couldn't expect to avoid everyone.  Practice went by without a hitch, but the locker room was another story.  I had just finished getting dressed when Scott confronted me.

"What's up with you man?  You haven't said a word to me or any of our crew just about all week."

"Nothing is up with me.  This right here is why I haven't been talking to you.  I don't feel like arguing with anyone else right now."

"Well, if you stop being an asshole I wouldn't have to argue with you."

"Whatever, Scott."  He wouldn't let it go though.

"You know I never figured you to be an ignorant prick.  Guess I'm just a bad judge of character.  Don't even think about going after Kai and Tyler.  You'll have to deal with me if you do.  The funny thing is, they won't just give up on you.  Kai's faith in you may just about be gone, but everyday I have to sit there at lunch and listen to Tyler reassure us that you'll be there.  Even when he knows your not coming, he watches the door, with that glimmer of hope.  You don't see the disappointment on his face when that last bell rings, but I do.  He's my friend and I can't do anything about it.  He's holding out hope that a homophobic asshole like you might still want his friendship, even though all you think he is, is a faggot."

That was it.  I spun quickly, and swung my fist in the process.  I smashed my hand against the locker, inches from Scott's face.  There was a fire of rage and hurt burning in my eyes.

"You have no fucking idea how I feel.  No idea.  Just remember Scott, I could've just taken you out just like that, so don't fuck with me.  I would never hurt Tyler or Kai, and you don't know me so don't try to tell me what I think."

He looked shocked to say the least.  I glared at him one more time, then turned around and left.  I got to first period and apparently God was showing me some mercy, as Kai apparently was allowed out of class for some reason or another.  In fact I didn't see him all morning.  I actually headed to lunch in the cafeteria, but I wasn't planning on sitting at my normal table.  I walked in and saw Tyler sitting there with Tanya across from him.  Where Kai and the rest of the crew were was beyond me.  Ty looked up from the table and he saw me.  I saw him momentarily brighten up a bit.  That is until I walked over to Ben's table and sat with him and some of the hockey team.  They all greeted me happily--I wish I could join in with there enthusiasm.  I just stared over at Tyler, who seemingly went back into his shell.  Tanya was trying to talk to him, but he seemed disinterested.  Ben caught me staring, but didn't say anything about it right away.

"So Blade, how bad do you think we're gonna beat L.A. tomorrow?"

"Hmmm, I'd say we win 4-1.  I heard they're pretty decent."

"Aww man, you know we're gonna destroy them!"

I laughed at him.  "Kind of cocky there aren't we little man?"

"Of course.  You know, instead of staring, why don't you go over and talk to him."  Shit.

"Uh, I don't know what your talking about."

"Dude, you haven't taken your eyes off him since you got here."

"I guess.  You're way to perceptive kid.  I'll see you tomorrow."

I gave Ben daps and headed over to Tyler.  None of the other regulars showed up today.  If they had, I know I wouldn't be going anywhere near that table.  I'll talk to Kai when I see him.  Tyler didn't see me coming, so when I got there he couldn't hide his surprise.

I looked at Tanya who seemed pretty neutral towards me.  "Tanya, do you think you could give us a minute please?"  She nodded, gave Tyler's hand a squeeze and headed over to a table on the other side of the room.  I scanned the table and noticed Anna was sitting over there with Carla from music class.  I guess Tanya just didn't want to leave Tyler by himself, so she sat with him.  I took a seat beside Tyler.  He started to say something, but I cut him off.

"Tyler, I know I've been a jerk lately.  I just need to let you know it's not anything personal against you, and I never meant to hurt you.  It's just, I'm having a hard time dealing with some personal problems and it's hard for me to be around you and not feel bad.  I know that must sound weird but I'm trying to make you understand.  I don't hate you... I could never hate you.  As far as the gay thing, I have no problem with it, since that seems to be everyone's theory... that I'm some homophobe."  Ok, Ok, so I'm weak, I just couldn't stand to see him hurting over things I've done.

He didn't say anything, just looked at me, with that incredible smile and tears rolling down his face.  Before I knew it, he had grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me.  I just enjoyed the moment, but in the process it was killing me to be this close to him.

"Ty.. hehe ... Tyler, oxygen situation here."  He gave me a sheepish grin then let go.

"So, do you kind of understand why I've been distant this week?"

"Yeah, but you know now that you came over here you aren't going to be able to get rid of me again."  Pulling my heartstrings.

"I never wanted to get rid of you."

"I guess I knew that.  Wanna go outside for the rest of the period? I don't think it's to smart to be talking about this in here."

"OK, we can chill at my car."

We both headed out and got in the car.  I threw in that Craig David CD I bought.  Tyler was flipping through my CD holder, when he noticed what I had put in.

"You've got good taste."

"I know."  I gave him a cocky smirk.

"A bit arrogant?"

"Nope, just confident.'

He changed the song that was on, to one of my favorites on the CD, "Key To My Heart."  He sung along with the music.  He had a great voice, like an angel.  Not that I know what an angel sounds like, but if they sing I'm sure they would sound like Tyler.  He just seemed to really get into it, like he was totally care free.  He had a true passion for it.

"So do you know what you are singing for the concert?"

"Yup"

"Um, care to elaborate?"

"Nope."  He gave me a silly grin that was contagious.  He had dimples to die for!

"Fine."  I pouted a bit.  Tyler found this funny and broke out in laughter.

"You're too much."

"If you say so."  There was a bit of an awkward silence after that.

"Can I ask you a personal question Ty?"

"Uh, yeah I guess."

"When did you know you were in love?"  He looked a little nervous when I asked him that.  Then he got serious and looked me right in the eyes.

"When did you?"

"Wha... " Before I could finish, he leaned in and kissed me.  Whoa!  I started to really get into the kiss, his lips were so soft, and he put so much passion into it.  I could actually feel his love radiating off of him.  Then I snapped back into reality and it sent one image to my mind-- Kai.  This wasn't right.  I quickly pulled away from Tyler, to which he gave me a questioning look.

"Shit.. I read you wrong didn't I?  You aren't gay... you... you don't want me."  He was about to break down in tears.

"Tyler, to say you took me by surprise would be down playing things, but you weren't wrong.  I do want you--I've been in love with you since the day we met."

He looked up at me, giving me a tentative look.  He started to slowly lean in for another kiss, but I stopped him.  I didn't really have a choice.  "If you love me then why won't you let me kiss you?"

"It's not right.  Believe me if things were different we wouldn't be making it back to class today... But we can't do this.  Not to Kai."  Almost as if the realization just hit him, he just looked down at the floor.

"I don't think I'm in love with him anymore."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed then continued.  "I mean Kai will always be in my heart, but I feel like I love him more as a friend or like a brother.  I thought he was the one, but then I met you... and it was like love at first sight."  I blushed at that, then he continued again.  "I don't want to hurt him.  He treats me like gold--and I know he loves me more than life."  He had tears streaming down his face by this point, and was trembling like crazy.  I embraced him to let him know I was there for him.

"I know this is hard Tyler but it's something that has to be taken care of.  I can't be the reason you break up with Kai.  I don't doubt your feelings for me but I think deep down that you are in love with Kai.  This is one of the hardest things I'll ever have to say-- be with him.  If something happens down the road, then my door will be open.  I can't play the home wrecker here; not after all Kai has done for me.  I won't make you choose.  It's not fair to you, me or him."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize.  You're confused as to what you want.  It's not your fault."  I paused slightly.  "I just want you to know I think you're the most gorgeous guy I've ever seen, and that I do love you.  Kai is a very lucky guy.  So give me a smile or I'm not letting you out of this car."  He wouldn't budge at first.  I poked him in the sides a couple of times, hoping to get a rise out of him.  Slowly but surely the corners of his mouth started to turn up.

"What if I don't want to leave the car?"  He was not making this easy.

"Well I guess you could stay here for the next few hours.  I'll see you after I get out of class then."  I made a movement like I was opening the door when he grabbed my hand.

"OK, you win.  I'll go to class, but on one condition.  You have to give me a big wet one or I'm not moving."

"Tyler..." He cut me off.

"It's all right-- It's just if I don't ever get the chance to do it again, I'd like to know what it's like to get a real kiss from you.  You know the kind where you actually participate."  He gave me a sly grin.  Thinks he's funny huh?

"Fine."  I think I almost caught him off guard.  I leaned in quickly and placed my lips over his.  It felt like an electric jolt going through my body.  From his moans, I could tell he must have felt it as well.  It wasn't like a porno kiss... just a sweet tender kind of kiss.  I sucked on his upper lip for a moment, then did the same to his lower.  I could feel his tongue tentatively snake out and try to get access to my mouth.  What the hell, this is probably the only time I'll get to do this with him.  Porno kiss it is!!  I parted my mouth and accepted his tongue.  Our tongues slid across each other, then eventually started to explore each other's mouths.  God he tastes good!  I pulled away when I felt things were getting to heavy.  Namely when his hands found my pants.  Not like I would've minded under different circumstances, but not like this.

He gave me a sheepish smile as we pulled apart.  "Sorry, got a little carried away."

"Yeah just a little bit."  I looked at him expectantly.

"What?" He had a really goofy smile on his face.  Not to mention his hair was a little messed up from our activities.

"So?"

"So what?"

"So how was it?"

He grinned at me evily.  "I've had better."

I gave him a playful smack upside the head.  "You wish."

"You're right I do.  Kai's a great kisser, but you just took my breathe away."

I blushed deeply.  "Thanks.  You weren't so bad yourself.  You know you taste like peaches?"

"He he he... whatever you say man."

"Well you do."

From the look of him, he wasn't going to be losing that goofy grin for awhile.  "You better fix your hair.. you look like you just made out with someone."  It was my turn to give him a smirk.  He blushed considerably.

"Thanks for telling me."

"Well I don't want Kai to think anything happened, and I'm pretty sure him seeing you looking like that would just about tell him what you were doing."  We got out of the car and started walking back to the building.

"Don't worry about that--Kai's not here yet.  I'm actually kind of worried, he said he would be here by lunch."

"Where did he say he was going?"

"He said that Jordan called him last night saying that he & Carla wanted to know if he could help them with their singing.  Kai agreed to help them, so he was supposed to go down to the boardwalk this morning to meet them.  I don't know why they didn't just have him help them after school.  Instead they tell him to meet them way out there.  I could understand it if they went to private school, seeing as it's right there on the boardwalk, but as far as I know it's way out of the way for all of them."  I came to a hault after he said that.  How could he meet Carla & Jordan, if Carla was in the cafeteria?

"Did you say private school?"

"Yeah Bellflower Academy."

"Who does Jordan hang out with?"

"Um, I'm not really sure but Carla has been hanging with Anna a lot.  Jordan doesn't really have a certain group of friends.  I guess he actually just started going here last week.  He came from Bellflower.  I guess his grades didn't hold up there.  Maybe they decided to surf a little bit.  I guess Jordan was bragging on the phone to Kai, saying he was going to make him look like an amateur."  I started to head back to my car.  Hearing him say that made my blood run cold.

"I have to go."

"What... why?"

"I have to find Kai now.  Tell me how to get to Bellflower."

"What's going on?  If you're going out there I'm going with you."  He looked worried at this point.

"Tyler it's not safe for you to go with me."

"What do you mean?  Blade tell me why you are freaking out!  You're scaring me."

"Find Scott and tell him to get to the boardwalk.  Go Tyler!"

"Tell me why you have to go there!"

So I looked at him and told him why I needed to get to Kai.

"Kai's being set up.  Carla was inside the cafeteria with Anna."

"Setup?  By who?"  Only one person could have planned this out.  He had a couple weeks to get to know Jordan before Jordan transferred here.

"Sean."  He gave me a look of fear, probably just realizing what could happen to Kai.

"Be careful please."  He gave me a hug and a quick peck on the cheek then ran back into the school.

I jumped in my car and sped out of the parking lot.  Sean is doing this to get at me... if he wants me he's going to get me.  I won't let Kai get hurt because Sean wants revenge.  I just hope I'm not to late....

Little did Blade or Tyler know that it might not be Kai that's been setup.  Off to the side about 10 parking spaces away from where Blade's car was parked was Carla, hiding behind her SUV.  "Gotcha."  She grinned evily and stuffed a camera into her purse and walked casually back into school.

Hey guys.  I know, I know another cliff hanger. Not as bad as the last one though! When things in the story calm down a bit, then I'll chill with the cliff hangers for a bit.  I hope you are still enjoying the story.  I want your thoughts and comments so EMAIL ME! LOL.  I love hearing from everyone, and I will write you back.  I've gotten to know some of my readers a lot better, through AOL, AIM and MSN.  So I'm just gonna give a few shot outs here.  Brian, you're such a smartass and you brighten up my day everytime I hear from you... Luv ya babe.  Kevin, you're a frisky guy ya know that?LOL.  Keep your head up, things will work out.  Kip, you're gonna get in trouble one of these days for writing me, instead of doing what you're supposed to be doing!!  Just keep writing anyways though :)  Matt, I hope you get him, you definitely deserve it.  Keith, you've been so much help.  You're a great guy, even if you're a bad boy at heart :)  Check out his great story "The Boyfriend" in the Highschool section.  A huge thanks to Greg for picking up my slack and fixing my mistakes in this story.  You have no idea how much help you are.  Ed thanks for your support, it means a lot to me.  Another big thanks goes to David at Nifty.  You provide all of us writers with an incredible place to show our work.

Once again if you guys are looking for some great stories then check out Storm Front at www.stormnation.com .  Ty is an incredibly talented writer.  Also head on over to Da Beagle's Doghouse at www.dabeagle.com , where there's not only Da Beagle's great stories, but also a number of other talented writer's work.  I could go on and on about the stories at these sites, but I'll let you guys check them out.

Once again e-mail me at XvXJadenXvX@aol.com and flames will be ignored as usual.