I waited for almost three hours that night, three long hours, hoping Ryan would call me and explain exactly why he felt it necessary to suddenly push me out of his bedroom window. I mean, I'm pretty sure his dad wouldn't necessarily approve of our constant sexual romps when he's not there. But he knows that we're a 'couple', so what's the big deal if I'm over there after school? It never bothered him before, not too much anyway. Outside of a few uncomfortable moments, Ryan's dad seemed to be getting used to the idea of us being together. Maybe it wasn't his dad at all...maybe it was Ryan. Sigh...Come on Randy. Don't let the questions get to you. Trust Ryan. Don't be stupid...just trusting. I won't let this go to far, but I won't go jumping to any hasty conclusions just yet. Not until I know what's going on. I basically went into my room and twiddled my thumbs, waiting anxiously for the phone to ring, and it never did. So I disappointedly went to bed, figuring that I'd ask him the following day. Not that I was going to just forget about it. He wasn't getting off that easy. I went to bed feeling a bit strange, however. As though I saw yet another storm brewing in the distance for us. And it scared me.
I got to first period history and before I could even reach my seat, my mouth had dropped open. There it was, right in front of me. I saw Hailey sitting in Ryan's lap and giggling with a few other girls who had come over to watch. In his LAP for Christ's sake! Normally, I would have thought the whole idea of it as funny, ready to load another clip of ammo into my 'tease Ryan' repetoire. But something about this made me really uneasy. It wasn't Hailey's possession of my boyfriend so much, or the other girls who seemed to envy what she had...or should I say what I had...nah...those things werern't really troubling me. The thing that bothered me was the look on Ryan's face. It was almost like he was...'comfortable' with it. He wasn't showing me that tired, annoyed look that he always did when she was around. Not this time. He was actually smiling as she ran her fingers through his silken hair, and enjoyed their closeness. He hadn't even noticed me walking over yet.
I sat down and turned to tap him on the shoulder. "Good morning sunshine." I said sarchastically. He was laughing with his 'friends' at first, but the second he saw me, the smile disappeared and he struggled a little bit to give Hailey the signal to get off of his lap.
"Nooooo...what are you doing? I'm comfy here." She whined playfully, and the other girls melted, wishing they could have her luck. I saw a look of 'un-comfy-ness' come over Ryan's face. Not because she was sitting there, but because I was watching her sit there. Was I hurt? No...not at all. Fucking angry was what I was! "Ryaaaannn...fine." She said, pouting like the spoiled brat she is. Then she smiled at me and went back to her desk in the back of the room. As she left, I gave Ryan the coldest of looks and then just turned around to face forward.
"Randy...come on dude..." He whispered.
"Did you forget how to use a phone last night? Or did you have...better things to do." I already knew the answer.
"Look, she called me out of the blue. I couldn't just hang up on her. She's supposed to be my gir..." and he stopped before he said it all the way through. My eyes widened, and I turned around again to look directly at him.
"Girlfriend? GIRLFRIEND???" I whispered loudly. What the hell is going on here? "Excuse me, but have you completely lost your mind? What are you DOING?"
"This isn't what you think! For crying outloud you know I can barely stand Hailey! I wouldn't even tolerate her if it weren't for the party."
"You were 'tolerating' her just fine a second ago. You know, I'm beginning to think that damn party was all a big mistake."
Ryan leaned forward a bit as the bell rang. "What do you want me to do, huh?"
"I want you to tell me why you felt the need to push me out of a window yesterday. I want to know why you can't call me because you're talking to HER. I want to know why she's there in your face everytime I turn around. I want..."
"Mr. Stephens. The bell has rung, I do believe that means that I have the floor. Unless you'd like to teach us about the Franco/Prussian war today." Our teacher said, interruping me. Just as well, I was getting more and more upset. And God forbid if someone were to hear us. I'm surprised they didn't already. I sat forward and basically ignored Ryan for the next fifteen minutes. I didn't want to let him off the hook, or excuse what just happened. I wasn't jealous...well, hell...maybe I WAS! I mean, why is it that Hailey can brag and show off a cute guy like Ryan, and I have to hide it all the time. Why can't I run my fingers through his hair and have everyone wish they could have what we have? There was nothing sick or unhealthy about our relationship. But display that affection in public without being the right sex..and suddenly I'm a pervert. Mad as I was, I hadn't planned to give Ryan the time of day until he had given Hailey her walking papers. But dammit, I actually MISSED the little punk's antics when I didn't have them around me at all times. I refused to turn around, but I could just visualize him behind me. Him sitting there, probably sulking a bit, lips all pouty and red, his indescribable hazel eyes pointed down towards his desk, his hair flopping a little into his face, a perfect teenage slouch in his back. Even when I wasn't looking he was hot. I couldn't see him, but I could 'feel' him there, his presence bringing unlimited sunshine to my life. And that made me feel good, even when I was supposed to be pissed at the jerk. Geez, I'm so pathetic.
As time went on, I felt a nudge in my back, and Ryan slipped me a folded up piece of paper. I was glad to get some kind of contact from him, overjoyed in fact, but at the same time I wanted to hold my ground. I pretended not to really care, but I opened it anyway. On the paper was a drawing of Hailey wearing a Britney Spears t-shirt, on 'fire', with lopsided breasts and a gun to her head. Looking lower, she had hairy legs and flies were buzzing around her. Hahahaha! What the hell was this supposed to MEAN??? I didn't even get it. It was like he was drawing whatever came to mind, and let his wacky instincts take over. While looking at it, I couldn't help but grin to myself. Constantly asking myself 'what the hell?' and trying not to let him see me smile. Then there was an arrow telling me to turn it over, and on the back Ryan had written, "I love you. K?" And nothing else. I tried to stay mad. I wanted to stay mad. But I could feel the emotions inside of me begin to stir up again. I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of knowing how weak I was quite this fast though. Let him squirm for a while.
When class was over, Hailey was quick to claim and collect Ryan like a bundle of luggage, and I didn't even wait to see if he said goodbye, but I could feel him watching. I knew I was going to make up with him again, probably before the end of the day, but a little ordeal never hurt anybody. Let Hailey cheer him up until then. I almost felt kinda proud of myself. I'm usually no match for Ryan's pleading eyes, but today I felt stronger. However...he DID look damn cute in that shirt he was wearing today. And his hair seemed the perfect shade of strawberry blond. And...oh who am I fooling? I'll make up with him at lunch, and we'll be making out by the end of the school day.
I went down to get dressed for my gym class, and much to my surprise, I saw a familiar face down there. It was Ariel, full uniform, and just catching his breath. "Ariel? What are you still doing here? Your class should have ended fifteen minutes ago."
"Oh...hey...Randy." He said, still catching his breath. "Yeah, well, we played soccer today."
"But everybody else is already dressed and gone."
"Yeah well everybody ELSE didn't accidently kick the soccer ball right at the coach's...um...well, it's not important where it hit him. To make a long story short, I was running laps until he was able to walk straight again."
I swear, sometimes that boy was a walking disaster area. And it made him even cuter than normal. He cracked me up sometimes. "You need real help dude."
"Hehehe...not as much as the coach, that's for sure." He grinned.
"You know, if I didn't know you better, I'd say you did it on purpose. Premeditated soccer assault." We both just giggled a bit and I opened my locker. I heard his combination lock click open at just about the same time, and then we both stood up. But the second I untucked my shirt, I noticed something...a complete and total silence. I looked up, and Ariel's smile had been erased completely, and he was staring right at me. This jittery feeling came over the both of us and we looked away quickly. I heard Ariel clear his throat slightly, and we turned our backs to each other as we began to undress. I KNOW he wanted to look, to drink me in and memorize every detail for later. And to be honest, I wanted to look too.
I took off my shirt and reached into my locker to get my uniform out. I could hear Ariel's breathing speed up, ever so slightly, and a quiet gasp of air. Now I knew for sure he was looking, and I heard him clear his throat again nervously. I looked over at him out of the corner of my eye, and he hadn't gotten undressed at all. There was no talking, no background noise...just a thick layer of tension in the air. I turned my head and gave a weak smile that snapped him out of his daze. He blushed madly and turned his face back to the lockers with a look of fear and desire combined. Then he finally began to grab his clothes. Okay...I admit it...I wanted to look. Ariel was cute, VERY cute...can't blame me for looking, right? I took a sneak peek as soon as he lifted his shirt above his head. I nearly sighed myself! Awwww...it was soooo smooth, like a ten year old's chest. With the smallest little brown nipples. And there was no real definition to it, but it was still a fine looking chest. Just a tiny amount of babyfat on his tummy to give him the cutest little pounch, and a belly button that was bordering between an 'innie' and an 'outie'. Was everything about him this beautiful? Skin like silk, leading to soft shoulders and and smooth neck. His arms were equally as smooth, with muscles hidden underneath his almost liquid skin. He was gorgeous.
Then I saw him take down his shorts quickly and timidly, as though he was trying to hurry up and get out of there as fast as possible. His back was still turned, but I could see the tight globes of his ass and a hint of a pouch hanging from the front. I could tell he was still blushing, but I wondered if he knew I was watching. I was mesmerized for a second, realizing just what an undoubtedly sexy boy Ariel could be with a little more confidence. Just then, some more kids came walking into the locker room past us, and I knew that it would be filling up any minute. When I turned back, I saw Ariel sliding a pair of jeans up those long sexy legs, to his soft thighs, and over one of the prettiest little asses to ever bless the confines of this dingy room. I mean, even covered in his tighty whitey underwear, those pert little cheeks looked firm and squeezable. It was enough to arouse me a bit, and I had to look away to keep from getting hard. Oh wow...under different circumstances, I'd be honored to have Ariel in my arms, in my bed even.
I tried to just push the images out of my head and go back to getting dressed, but suddenly, little sexual fantasies involving me rubbing up against him naked ran rampant through my imagination. Nothing overly graphic, just two naked boys, squirming, and touching, and kissing, and...grinding...and...and...
"I...I'll see you later, k? At lunch?" He said, startling me a bit and snapping me out of my trance. I hadn't even noticed that he was finished dressing. Geez! Was I just 'mentally molesting' Ariel? Where did THAT thought come from?
"YEAH! Sure! Lunch!" I snapped back, probably louder than I should have. Suddenly I was the nervous one! And he smiled at me kinda funny for a second. Then he looked down a bit, and that's when I realized a certain 'tightness' down below that came from my dirty little imagination. Not all the way erect, but noticeably 'not limp'.
I saw him looking and covered it up with my shirt as fast as I could. Ariel's eyes popped open wide and he got really flustered, turning a deep red. "I'm...I'm sorry! I didn't mean to...I'm sorry!"
"Sorry? Sorry for what?" I asked, hoping I could play the whole thing off.
"Um...nothing...nothing at all." Ariel had this weird 'hand in the cookie jar' look on his face, and it was STILL cute. It didn't help matters any. "I wasn't....I didn't mean to...look I've gotta go..."
"Um...sure, yeah. Lunchtime then. Right?" I said, trying to keep things normal, but feeling a little embarrassed myself.
"Yeah...although I'm taking a big test before that. It's gonna be really hard...I MEAN...uh...really...difficult...so..." And he trailed off as he backed away slowly. "...yeah...so, later. B-b-bye...Randy..." I said goodbye back to him, but I saw him continue to walk backwards even further, never taking his dreamy eyes off of me. It looked like he might have been producing a slightly growing bulge himself and it excited me somehow. To know that I was his forbidden fruit. That's when he backed right into the drinking fountain. A power blast of cold water sprayed up his back and into his hair, causing him to jump away from it. Then, wet, he just cursed it and walked away. Mental note...file images of Ariel half naked under 'forbidden territory'. Wow.
Lunch time rolled around, and I made my way to the table to see Hailey sitting in my spot. Something tells me that I'm going to like this chick less and less everyday until I'm finally forced to push her out in front of a bus. Tyler was sitting on the other end of the table, looking just as confused as I was about Ryan's 'guest'. I sat next to him and we both just kinda stared at the two of them as Hailey continuously bushed the hair out of Ryan's face. Then she kissed him on the cheek and said she had to go to class. I must say that this had gotten way out of hand now. She was really starting to bug me.
"What?" Ryan asked after a minute of us staring at him in silence. "Alright, look...I know. Ok? I'm gonna....I'll find a way to tell her this weekend. She's supposed to be coming over to show me some more of her poetry or whatever. She said she wrote 14 of them about ME! I didn't mean for it to go this far." Then he looked at me and asked if I was still pissed at him.
Tyler and I glanced over at one another, and then looked back at Ryan. "Breeder." I said.
"What?" Ryan was a bit dumbfounded, but with a grin, Tyler followed my lead.
"Hetero." He smiled.
Ryan got the joke and said, "Ok, ok...knock it off guys. Har dee har har!"
"I don't know Randy, he just might like girls afterall. He just might be one of those awful straight boys." Tyler continued.
"Gasp! What on EARTH will we tell his parents?"
"What will we tell the boys in the theater club? And the guys at the beauty salon? Oh, they'll be devastated." Tyler was faking a feminine gay lisp now, and the giggles began to pour out of us.
"Yep. Ryan's a definite case of closet heterosexuality. I'm afraid I'm going to have to take your license." I said.
Then Ryan chimed in with, "NO! I can't buy leather pants and spiked bracelets without my license!" And we had a few good laughs together. Sometimes it was if we had all been brothers in a past life. To think that we just found each other almost seemed the stuff of fantasies.
Ariel never showed up for lunch that day. So either he was too shy after what happened in the locker room, or that test was 'harder' than he thought. I made it through to the end of school with no sign of Jenny at all. I believe her class had taken a field trip to the Field Museum that day, and it got me off the hook temporarily. Thank goodness she stayed so busy all the time with 101 different school comittees. I was going to have to tell her eventually, and the sooner the better. I figured that I could just do some research on how by watching sitcoms. They teach us everything anyway, right? I got home around 4 o'clock and sat down to watch the "Cecil and Ally" show. If THAT didn't give me any help with my problems, then what would. Besides, I think this was a good rerun. It's the one where Cecil buys Ally a big bouquet of flowers, and they accidently get sent to 500 pound prison inmate who just got out. Weird episode indeed. But funny.
The opening credits had just gone up when the phone rang, a very happy Ryan on the other end. "Say, are you alone?" He said.
"Yeah, how come?"
"Heheehehe...you know how come! So...what are you wearing?" He giggled.
"A thong and a pair of pink slippers. What do you THINK I'm wearing ya pervert? I'm wearing what I wore to school today!"
"Geez, no imagination. No sense of romance."
"Come on over, and I'll give you a sense of romance you won't soon forget." I smiled, getting excited already.
"Sounds like a plan. I've gotta get something to snack on, and then I'll be right over tootsie roll. Heheheh! You still gonna be horny if I decide to call back?"
"You bet your sweet ass I am. Just make it quick, k? And Ryan...I love you." I said. He kissed me over the phone and we hung up. I melted back into the couch and waited impatiently for my beautiful boy toy to arrive. Moments later, the phone rang again. I picked it up and said, "If you're wondering, yes I'm still horny."
"Um...Randy? Is that you?" Came a different voice from the phone.
I was embarrassed right away. Especially considering who it was! "W-W-Wilson??? Dude! I...uh...I was expecting somebody...else."
"Hahaha, no shit Sherlock!" He laughed. I had never heard Wilson curse before, it was somewhat...unnatural. That boy had the strangest way of popping up at the oddest moments.
"How are you buddy?" I asked. And that's when there was a gentle knock at the door and Ryan peeked his head in. I invited him in silently and continued to try to decipher what Wilson was saying. He could talk at the speed of light on ten different subjects at once, and if you lost your handle on the conversation for even a second, you'd be eternally lost with no hope of ever catching up again. And he could tell too. Because whenever I got behind, he'd stop and ask if I was listening or if I knew what he was saying. I swear, if he was my little brother, I'd have a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week headache. And the weird thing is, I'd enjoy every minute of it.
Ryan sat back on the couch as I stood in front of him, and his hand playfully reached out to gently grab the back of my thighs. His hands glided up and down their length, and he pulled me forward, placing a tender kiss on the fron ot my pants. It made my erection jump to life immediately, and I looked down at my lover with lust in my eyes. He smiled, and his hands ran further up my thighs to cup my soft cheeks. I then moved forward to straddle his lap as Wilson continued to chat away. "Oh really? Cool. Then what? Uh huh..." Were the only few words I could get in edgewise. And in between my comments, I would bend forward and kiss Ryan sensuously on his lips while he caressed and embraced me lovingly. God he tasted so sweet. Every inch of him. And as soon as I could get off of the phone, there were six inches imparticular that I was looking forward to tasting all afternoon long.
"And then...oh wait, hold on...I've gotta take a shot now." Wilson said in mid sentence. A shot? What the heck was that about?
"A shot? Wha...?"
"Hold on dude." And he just put the phone down next to him. Then I heard a childish little yelp come out of him, and he was back on the phone again seconds later.
"Okay...where was I?"
"Wilson...are you...are you back in the hospital???"
"Yeah, and I had to get a shot too. It hurts like a mother fucker!" I paused and he went on, "Mrs. Tucker in room 323a taught me some swear words to use. Cool huh? She said she learned it while her husband was stationed out in the war. And she would go out to the docks and pick up these sailors, and they called her the 'vaccuum' cause she would..."
"Wilson...dude...WHY are you back in the hospital?" I knew if he went off on THAT little tangent, I'd never get him back!
"Oh, that...I broke my arm." He said matter of factly.
"Broke your arm? How on Earth did you do that?" Ryan's kisses were covering my chest, and his arms wrapped around my back as his erection pushed upwards into me. Only our clothes seperated us from being one. I was gyrating softly on his lap, and he was trying hard not to moan outloud. I'd be certain to enjoy this to its fullest in a minute, but for now, I was going to try and figure this little boy out for once.
"Well, you remember when I told you that I had that friend who didn't come visit me in the hospital? And you told me to go give him a big kick in the butt for ya?"
"Well, I did. As soon as I got out of here, I walked right up to him and kicked him." He said. "He beat me up pretty bad, but his mom and my mom traded cookie recipes or something, and we're friends again now."
"Wilson, I didn't mean that you should literally KICK you're best friend."
"Well I know that NOW!"
"So why did he break your arm?" I asked.
"No way dude! He wouldn't break my arm! He's my best friend, silly!" Wilson said it like I was supposed to have the 'kid code' figured out by now.
"So if he didn't do it, how did you break your arm, Wilson?"
"Well, me and him went out roller blading after we became friends again. And while we were out, he dared me to jump a whole flight of steps. So I did, and I sorta didn't make it all the way."
"And THAT'S when you broke your arm?" I asked.
"NO! That's when I skinned my knee and hurt my hand. Then we went back to my house after that."
This was beginning to really get to me. "So...what exactly was it that put you in the hospital???" I asked, hoping I could get a straight answer this time.
"Oh...I fell off of the neighbors roof." Oh, is THAT all?
"Huh? What the heck were you doing on your neighbor's roof, Wilson?"
"Well how ELSE was I s'posed to get my frisbee back?" WHAT??? Why do I suddenly feel like I'm walking into a mystery movie in the last ten minutes? Wilson made it seem like I was the one who was out of my mind.
"Your frisbee...? You know what? Nevermind. I'm sorry to hear that man. Real bummer." I give up. There was just no need to get wrapped up in this pre-adolecent psychosis any further. The many avenues and off-ramps in a kid's logic are just beyond comprehension once you reach a certain age. And I knew Wilson could easily have me going in circles for hours.
Ryan had lifted up my shirt now, and was licking a cool trail up and down my chest, my hardness pushing into him. He was breathing harder now, holding me tight, and I had to have him. He had to have ME. Let's see Hailey top THIS one! "Hey Wilson? Buddy? Yeah...hold on a sec. Dude? Hello?" But as much as I tried to stop him, he just HAD to finish his story of how he put a dead bird in his math teacher's top drawer once. Then...he finally was quiet long enough for me to tell him I had to go.
"Awww...do you have to?" He had such a cute little whimper when he was disappointed.
"Yeah...I have to. We'll talk this weekend, ok?"
"OH YEAH! This weekend, I almost forgot! I get out of the hospital this weekend, and then I have to go to Stacy's birthday party because my mom is making me go. And I don't even like her cause she's always pinching my cheeks and calling me 'cupcake' and stuff. I was gonna give her this killer robot that I saw in the toy store, but my mom says we have to find something more appropiate for a lady. Like she's a lady. She's no lady, one time she punched Jimmy Peterson in the nose and made him eat grass in front of everybody. What a wuss! You know, I'll bet he's gay like you. Getting beat up by a girl. Hey, how's your boyfriend? Is he there? Is that why you're horny? Are you gonna make that noise again? That was cool last time..." And Wilson continue to go on and on, never once taking a breath, and I wondered what all of this had to do with this weekend.
"This weekend, Wilson, what has this got to do with this weekend?"
"Oh yeah! My mom says I can come visit ya! Isn't that awesome?" Suddenly, my ears perked up a little bit, and I stopped concentrating on Ryan for a moment.
"Wait...you...you're coming to visit? But...wait a minute..."
"Yep, I can spend the night too. It's all worked out. What should I bring? Do you have a Playstation? I got some wicked games." He just carried on and I tried desperately to find out how I had talked myself into this without saying a single word.
"No...Wilson, wait...I've gotta tell my mom and stuff, I didn't really know that you were..."
"KEWL! Mrs. Tucker just attacked one of her nurses with a bedpan! Fuckin' sweet! I gotta check this out!"
"Wilson! NO! Dude...wait!"
"I'll see ya Saturday Randy! Bye bye!" And then all I heard was a click. My mind was completely numb. What the hell just took place here?
Ryan took the phone away from my face, and hung it up for me. Then he put a hand on the back of my head to draw me into a long passionate kiss, bringing me back to life after a mentally exhausting conversation. "So, how's our kid brother doing?" Ryan asked.
"Hehehehe...I'm not quite sure, but I think he's coming to visit this weekend."
"Oh really? How did you get conned into that one?" He smiled. I attempted to explain, but it made even LESS sense to Ryan then it did to me. At least 'I' was trained in the art of Wilson's ramblings. So we let it go, and made out on the couch. Our tongues sowly humping one another. I laid him back on the cushions and crawled on top of him, allowing our bodies to mingle and grind as one. Our breathing had increased, our body heat passed between us in waves of ecstacy, and we tried to connect with as much of our teen bodies as humanly possible. That's when I heard my mom's keys in the door!
I rolled off of Ryan and right onto the floor...hard...hitting my head on the coffee table. Ryan sprung up quickly and hit the remote control to turn the tv on for 'cover'. Then he threw a pillow into his lap. A bit sore and disoriented, I scurried up to sit on the couch next to him just as my mom walked in with a hand full of groceries. She asked one of us to help out, and we froze. We looked at each other and wondered which one of us was 'less excited' so that we could actually give her a hand without giving ourselves away. It was too long a pause I guess, because she asked again.
"Hello...damsel in distress here? I need you boys. C'mon." She said. I tried hard to 'will' my erection to go down, and got up to grab some bags, using them to hide myself fast. Ryan did the same, and we helped her carry them into the kitchen. Ryan then followed me upstairs to my room and closed the door. He walked over immediately to kiss me on the lips, taking my breath away, but I had to stop him.
"No, wait dude. My mom's in the house."
"Can't...can't we just...I dunno...lock the door or something? She won't know. I'll be quiet, I promise. I want you...please?" His voice was so sexy when he begged. He used his eyes as a weapon against me, gazing deep into my heart and soul, finding my every weakness in order to get his way. I kissed him again, pulling his body tightly against mine, then pulled back from him smiling. I took him by the hand, and rubbed it smoothly over my hardness.
"No can do, cutie. But I'll tell you what...'kiss'...why don't you run home...'kiss'...get naked...'kiss'...and I'll be over faster than you can say 'I love you'? Sound like a plan?" It sounded great to me, but by the look on Ryan's face, he didn't think so.
He slowly withdrew his hand, and sighed, "...actually...why don't we get together tomorrow instead?" Tomorrow? How did he go from 'I want you' to 'See ya tomorrow'?
"What?...Tomorrow? Why tomorrow?"
"Well...I just thought it would be better if maybe we went back to our little love nest at Matt's place. I mean, we haven't been there in weeks, and it'll be just you and me. No interruptions. No locked doors. No time limits. Just like it should be." Then he kissed me gently on the lips and rubbed my cheek with his hand. But he could tell that I wasn't responding this time.
"Ok...you know what? That's it." I said, pulling away from him.
"What? What's wrong?"
"What's WRONG? Dude, come on! What's going on here? You've got girls sitting on your lap, you're acting weird, you shove me out of a window to hide the fact that we're together, and now all of the sudden I'm not welcome in your house??? What is this?"
"Randy...calm down a minute, will you? It's not what you think."
"It's NEVER what I think. Well you know what? Why don't you TELL me what I'm thinking? What would YOU be thinking in this situation?" I was upset, sure. But I loved him to death and I just needed to know where I stood. That wasn't asking for much.
"Dude, look...you and me will ALWAYS have each other. No matter what. This is just going to be for a little while, you know. Something to make my dad feel a little bit better about...you know.." Ryan wanted my approval, but he wasn't going to get it like this.
"Your DAD? What about him? Did he...did he say something...about us?" I looked in his eyes for an answer, but before he could say anything, my mom called me downstairs. "Hold on a sec mom!" I called back. "Ryan...talk to me. What happened?"
"Don't worry about this, ok? Nothing's changed, not in my heart."
"Not in your heart? Ryan...what's the matter?"
He tried to hide them, I know, but tears have a way of being visible, even when you don't think they are. We stood in silence for a moment before my mom called for me again. I had to go, but Ryan needed me. I could sense it in his eyes. I wanted to hold him and take the pain away, make him whole and happy again. I'd do anything for him, no matter what I had to sacrifice. He squinted a bit, and his teary eyes released their first stray drop. I watched as it quickly darted down his smooth cheek and over the corner of his thin lips. My mom called a third time, and she was getting agitated now. If I left the room, I knew Ryan wouldn't be here when I got back. And I knew he wouldn't tell me anything until he was ready. So I had to bear with him for now.
"I...I love you Randy. Soooo sooo much. And I don't ever want to stop. I can't lose you. Not for any reason." He said, the tears flowing freely now. He began to cry and I walked over to hug him tightly. "Please believe that Randy. Please?" He sniffled.
"Shhhhh...I do. I do." I said, doing all I could to calm him. His tears were like shards of glass in my heart, and I cried right along with him, as we hugged in that room. We held each other for as long as we could before my mother threatened to drag me out of my room by my ankles, and we wiped our eyes on our shirt sleeves so she wouldn't know something was up. Something was hurting Ryan, deeply, and I had to know what it was.
Ryan left the house, and I watched him walk away. Loving him is unavoidable, irreversible, and more addictive than even the most powerful of drugs. And that feeling inside only increased more and more, every single minute of every single day that went by. It was magic. I sighed to myself as I closed the door, and went into the kitchen to see what my mom wanted. "You called me?" I asked.
She gave me a somewhat wicked look and said, "Do you have 'Resident Evil' for the Playstation? I got a phone call, and I supposed to ask you that."
"My thoughts exactly, young man." I was lost for a brief moment, but then she asked, "Um...who is Wilson? And WHY is he under the impression that he's going to be staying here this weekend?"
"Oh....that..." THIS was going to be a complicated conversation.
The next day I expected to see nothing less spectacular than Hailey under Ryan's desk giving him a hand job! All the while, Ryan would be telling me, "It's not what it looks like dude. It's just a 'pretend' hand job. That's not REAL semen dripping from the tip!" It's the only length that she hadn't gone to at this point. But actually, Ryan wasn't even there. Which is weird because he NEVER ditches without telling me. Hell, I'm usually the REASON he ditches in the first place. However, when checking across the room, I noticed that Hailey the blond wondergirl was missing in action too. Now, I know what Ryan told me, and I know that what probably happened was that she just pestered him to go off with her somewhere. But my mind wouldn't let the whole thing remain that pure. He had better not be doing anything but holding her hand. He'd better PRAY that I don't hear otherwise. 'Just for show' my ass. I won't be waiting until he's married with five kids before I decide to realize that the joke is over. I stewed in my own juices for a while, but mellowed out by the end of the class period. He wouldn't. He couldn't. He won't.
I got down to the gym locker room again, to see Ariel waiting there for me again, fully dressed this time. "More laps?" I asked.
He seemed really nervous this time, more so than before. "Um...a-a-actually...no. Not today. I came to see you." No...no dude...don't do this. Arrrgh! I'm supposed to be staying OUT of Ariel's way! Not bringing his affections back into full bloom.
"Sure....ok. You want to talk?"
"Can...can we talk after your gym class? Like...alone? It's kinda private." He was twirling one of his dark brown locks around his finger and twitching a little bit in anticipation for my answer.
"Yeah...just...just meet me here, k?"
"Ok." And he just walked out. I sincerely hope that this wasn't going to be more trouble. I've got more than enough to worry about. As always.
I got together with Ariel after gym, and we walked out to the football field to have some privacy. He didn't want to talk about it at first, so we talked about the weather for a minute or two. It was supposed to rain that Friday night, but not enough to stop people from hitting a party or two I suppose. We small talked for as long as we could before Ariel started to clam up again. I could tell he had something to say, so I decided to start things off. "Ariel, listen...if this is about what happened yesterday..."
"Yesterday? OH! You mean the...the...no...I wasn't gonna talk about yesterday." He blushed. But then quickly added, "U-u-unless...YOU wanna talk about yesterday..."
"NO! I mean...no...not really." I said relieved.
"Yeah...I kinda figured that." He seemed a little disappointed, but not really sad. However, that constant fear was still pumping through his veins, and I could see it in his eyes. Even though his eye contact was brief and darting at best. "Actually...I wanted to ask you something."
"I wanted to ask you...like...what do you know about..." He struggled for the right words, and just couldn't seem to put them in the right order. A flash of frustration came over his face, and then determination settled in. "...how long have you guys all known each other."
"Me and Ryan...geez, it's been a while now. He moved here a long time ago and we became friends like the same day..."
Ariel interrupted, "..um...actually...I mean...T-T-Tyler. How long...have you guys known him?" Was this the conversation I've been waiting to hear??? Was this an actual INTEREST brewing here? I expected Ty to be the one to crack first and tell all. Who would have thought Ariel would beat him to it?
"Ohhhh...." I said with a smile. "...wanna know about Tyler, huh?"
"Just a little..." He replied. He didn't smile back, in fact, he blushed even harder and his hands began to fidget as the shyness in his heart caused him to tremble visibly.
"Well, Ryan and Ty have been friends since they were little. And I only met him shortly after I met Ryan. We've been through a few rough times together, and he's a good friend. A really good guy."
"So...Matt and Sam are gay, right?" Ariel was beginning to ask the juicy stuff now! I couldn't wait to hear him say it!
"So....I was kind of wondering...you know....if THEY'RE gay...and YOU guys are gay...that...maybe Tyler was...was...you know..."
I shouted it out happily, "Yes! Hes gay! Gay as a jaybird! And cute, don't ya think?" I think my outburst frightened Ariel a little bit, and he looked around to make sure no one was listening. He shushed me and double checked every square inch of field surrounding us for 'spies'. But I couldn't help it! I was happy! This might actually work out afterall!
After he saw that the coast was clear, he calmed down a little. "Ok...just wondering. Don't tell him I asked...ok?"
We continued walking around the field a while longer, and he was dead silent, not even TRYING to come up with anything else to say. But I couldn't let this go. Not now when I was so close. "So...why do you ask?"
"Just asking." He said, but quickly. A little TOO quickly. So I decided to persue it a little further.
"So you were just thinking about it, huh?"
"Well...it just makes sense, you know?"
"Ahhh...so...do you think about Tyler often?" I was going to get him to say it if it killed me.
"I didn't say I was...thinking about him."
"But you think he's cute?"
"I didn't say that! I just asked a question is all." Ariel's voice was struggling to defend him, but it remained at it's usual soft spoken tone.
"That's alright Ariel. You don't have to be in LOVE with somebody just because you think they're cute right?" I asked.
"Right." He agreed.
"Ah HA! So you DO think he's cute!" Gets them every time!
"No...I didn't say...you're just turning everything all around..." He tried to wiggle his way out of it, but as the color in his face began to redden with the massive blushing attack that he was notorious for, I knew it was at least a LITTLE bit true! And I couldn't have been happier!
"Just TELL me already!" I begged and pleaded, and after wrestling with it a little bit, I saw the most adorable little grin spread across his face. He looked back down at his feet, trying to hide his face until his smile went away, but I egged him on. "What's this? Is this a smile I see? Huh? Can it be true?" Ariel blushed even more, and finally let the smile come to him in all it's glory.
"Maybe...just...just a little." He whispered.
"What's that? I can't hear you!"
Ariel rolled his eyes and said out loud, "I said YES! I think he's...KINDA...cute..." He started out loud, but tapered off into a whisper by the time he finished the sentence. The word 'cute' had almost been silent. It was so sweet. I just stared at him until he gave me more. "Sigh...I'm NOT saying anything more, Randy. So forget it. He's just...you know..."
"...YOU KNOW...." His smile seemed to get bigger and brighten up his whole face. It was amazing to see.
"CUTE???" Hearing me say the word almost made him break out into a giggle fit.
"Well...I'll just have to see what I can do about getting you two guys together then, huh? It won't take much..." I said, but Ariel grabbed me by the arm before I could even get the words out of my mouth. Spinning me to face him.
"NO! NO WAY!!! Don't you DARE say a WORD to him, you hear me? Not now, not ever!" It was the first time that Ariel held eye contact for longer than three seconds, and he had this intense look on his face. His voice was actually audible, and he was almost like a different person altogether.
"Dude...what if, by chance...he were to like you too? Then..."
His grip tightened on my arm. "Randy, NO! Do you understand! Please?" I didn't see the big deal, they could actually have something real, something incredible. The only thing standing between them was communication at this point.
"Ariel, what's wrong with telling someone how you feel?"
"I don't KNOW how I feel yet, and I'm not sure I would tell him if I did. I'm not...I wouldn't know what to...Randy...please...you CAN'T say anything! Okay? Please?" He was almost on the verge of tears at this point.
"PROMISE me you won't say anything!"
"I don't know why this is such a big deal..."
"It just is! So promise me you won't!" I tried to avoid the topic altogether, search for some kind of loophole, but he wouldn't let me. "C'mon Randy...please?"
He was shaking so bad that I HAD to give in. "...ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I won't say anything!"
"Say you PROMISE!"
"Say...that you PROMISE you won't tell Tyler what I said." "Why????"
"Because I want to make sure you're not just saying it, and because a promise from Randy Stephens is as good as gold. So say it! Say you promise..."
"FINE! I 'PROMISE' I won't say anything to Tyler! Happy now? Geez!"
"Very!" He said, and walked forward with a relieved smile on his face. Grrrr! I was restricted, frustrated, but what could I do? He had beaten me this round. And as we walked back to the school, I knew that it would only be right for me to keep my promise. And I wouldn't tell Tyler about Ariel. BUT...I DIDN'T promise that I wouldn't tell Ariel about how Tyler feels. All I've gotta do is worm a confession out of the blond one, and then all bets are off. You know, this was more than a helpful hand...this was a MISSION now! And I was having fun already.