The cutest thing about Ryan was his beautiful bright red lips. Mmmmm...they were so incredibly seductive. There isn't a man or woman alive who can look at those lips and not wonder what it would be like to kiss them. I was the only one who actually knew from experience. Sigh...the taste of those lips...wow...it drove me wild. I never got enough. Laying beside him in that small bed in our little love nest down in Matt's basement, both of us completely naked and hard as rocks, Ryan's kiss was enough to keep my whole body tingling. We rolled over one another, back and forth, the softness of his skin sliding against the smoothness of mine. But even though my hands were busy tracing the sensuous curve of Ryan's back, and it led down to the subtle rise of his delicious ass cheeks, it was those excessively cute, perfectly formed, lips that took my breath away. I tilted my head to the right slightly, and felt completely weightless as my boyfriend's tongue danced in and out of my open mouth. His lips would move so erotically, blessing me with the awesome sensations of raw teenage passion. His hands would touch me all over, exploring my most personal parts, and would occassionally stop to gently squeeze me. Our kissing would be light one moment, and heavy the next. But no matter what, we were always in sync with one another. Out of all the sexual pleasures Ryan and I had shared...making out with him in the nude topped them all. My heart felt as though it were ready to explode in an orgasm all its own.
God..his skin was so cool, so delicate to the touch. The texture of it, with very fine silken hairs, with curves and slight paddings of meat in all the right places, especially in that tight bubble butt of his. I found myself gasping out of pure admiration for the perfection that was his body. Whenever he was on top of me, I would wrap my legs around him and pull him into me so that I could feel his whole body all at once. And when he kissed me, his strawberry blond locks would tenderly brush over my forehead, his breath blowing gently on my cheek. Then, when I was on top, I would press myself into him, my hardness aching to be satisfied, my soul aching to continue th kiss that had enraptured me completely. Knowing that I couldn't have both at the same time. His hands would slide down to grip both of my round globes, and his hips would push up into me. We kept kissing, necking, rolling around for hours. Never wanting to give up the most intimate parts of our sexlife. The subliminally love vibrations that passed through us when our lips were locked together. And if I ever stopped long enough to come up for air, Ryan's sexy hazel eyes would gaze into mine dreamily, and I would be drawn back in for more. It never stopped.
After trying for almost 20 minutes to stop, I finally was able to roll over to my side and stop kissing him. We both let out a sigh of total bliss, and I just stared into his eyes for a few moments. "Sigh...you are SO incredible..." I whispered while running my fingers through Ryan's hair.
"Hehehe...stop that. You'll make me get all mushy." He grinned. Even his giggle was cute.
"I'm serious. Sometimes...I just look at you and realize what a lovely boy you really are. And how you mean so very much to me." I felt a heavy tugging at my heart strings, and couldn't believe that I was actually reaching the point of tears from feeling so good. It was the only emotion that could express the joy inside of me. I nuzzled my head into his neck, and he used his hand to hold me there as I kissed and licked at the soft warm skin. His hands moved up and down my back, tickling me with their gentle touch, and I could feel his body tremble as a boyish 'puppy dog' whimper emitted through his closed lips. He closed his eyes, and leaned his head back as my lips found one of his nipples and nursed at it until it was tight and erect. I could feel his stomach muscles tighten up beneath me, his stiff member pressing into me, just above the belly button. And when I let my teeth graze the tip of his sensitive light brown bud, I felt the warmth of his leaking juices on my skin.
"Don't stop. Mmmm...that feel's good." He whispered. I gently held the nipple between my teeth, and licked at it playfully. His body trembled and his legs spread even wider apart instinctively. His fingers played with my hair, rubbing the back of my head wildly as I continued to thrust him into a fit with my tongue. He was breathing hard, letting out short gasps and trying to stay quiet so Matt and Sam wouldn't hear us outside. Not that we really cared, they knew what we were doing in here. But this was our world at the moment, and no one else was invited. "Ooohh...Mmmm...I love you..." Ryan's softly mumbled whines were making me feel soooo good, and I knew tht I had to taste the sweetest parts of his love. I allowed my lips, shivering and wet, to slide down to his smooth, tight, stomach, stopping at his belly button to dance around inside of it while my hands ran circles on his flat chest. His erection was now pressing against my cheek, but I bypassed it as I slid down even lower, licking the side of the shaft and then heading down further to his suckable nuggets in their protective sack. I leaned my head slightly to lick at the wrinkled skin, it's heat throbbing delicately on my lips, my nose buried in the baby soft skin of his inner thigh. I went further to tease him by licking the underside of his teen orbs and almost tasting the most precious part of him. That taut pucker that had given me so much pleasure in the past. I almost tasted it, and he gasped in anticipation, but not quite...instead, I ran my tongue back and forth, up and down, on the space in between. Over...and over...and over...until the squirming of his legs and short breaths told me that he couldn't take anymore. So I dragged my tongue all the way up his shaft, one inch at a time, until I was able to circle the head, and take it into the steamed warmth of my wet sucking mouth. "Ohhh God..." He moaned, and I took him all the way down to the base, increasing my suction on the way back up. His legs bent and his feet went down to the matress, giving my hands the opportunity to rub his thighs, and caress his balls in my hand. I was constantly moving, constantly sucking, constantly hitting all of the weak spots on his body that made him almost shout outloud from the pure sexual intensity that it brought him. Then, just as the sensory overload got to be too much, he began humping into my face with more urgency. And it was then that I felt his whole body tense up and his hardness expand in my mouth. The blasts were hard, his penis pulsing and jerking wildly as Ryan fought to keep himself glued to the bed. He clutched at the sheets, his tight butt clenched, his thighs closing around my face. He whined with every shot. A cute whine that turned me on to no end. Like a toddler crying for his favorite blanket. Ryan could be so sexy when he wanted to be.
He couldn't wait for the tremors to stop so he could pull me back up to kiss him once again. The tip of his manhood was so sensitive. I touched it, and he spasmed, moaning from the sensual contact. He laid me on my back, and reached down to grab my hardness, teasing me by pulling it upright away from my belly. Then, after stretching the muscle for a bit, he began to slowly motion his hand up and down the long shaft, making sure that his fingers went all the way to the very tip so as to make it as sensitive as his was. He nibbled at my earlobe as his fingers brought me to new levels of ecstacy that my body couldn't handle. I was already close by the time he touched me, I knew that I wouldn't have held out for long. I stiffened up, wrapping my arms around Ryan and pulling him into me as I braced myself for a powerful climax. My cries became more desperate, and I felt the orgasm approaching from my toes, and shooting through me as he worked me over...whispering words of sex and love in my ear. My arms constricted around him even tighter, as though that would somehow stop his hand from moving, from sliding up and down my hardness and raising the sensitivity of every nerve ending inside. I was hugging him so tightly that my arms were getting weak, but I didn't let go. He was all I had to hold onto as the burning orgasm got closer and closer to its destination. I was gasping for air, unable to control his hand movements, unable to slow him down, unable to hold back any longer...wow, the things he did to me! I shouted out as I began shooting my warm fluids all over his chest and hand as he squeezed a little harder, feeling the contractions coming from inside of me. He bit a little harder at my ear and neck, and my arms held him tight to keep from passing out. I was breathing too hard to speak, and once I finished, I had to use what little remaining strength that I had to push his hand away. I sighed, and Ryan leaned in to kiss me deeply on the lips. Then he sat up in the bed, and moved down to put my softening organ into his mouth, licking it clean while inside. After that, we lay side by side, naked, touching and holding each other...and we both went to sleep for a while. We didn't even bother to cover up, I just savored the sensual skin-to-skin contact with my lover and kissed him tenderly on the nape of his neck as I slid one of my legs over him. Being here, draped over him, relaxed and relieved...it felt so good. We knew that Matt's place was a temporary 'hideaway', and even though it was totally accessible whenever we needed it, it still wasn't freedom. And I imagined what it would be like, if Ryan and I could one day live together, alone, and have this time to ourselves everyday. To walk around the house without clothes all day if we wanted to. Hehehe, what a freaky place THAT would be. But in a house of love, would it matter? I wonder.
When we woke up, it was dark outside, I guess about 8 PM. And we had to get home before our parents started asking questions. The worst part of being in that place, was knowing that we'd have to leave it eventually. It was beginning to be a heartbreaking experience these days. I'll admit, there were times when I litterally got angry. All of the sudden, out of nowhere, it would well up inside of me, and I almost felt like screaming. I hated the kids we went to school with, I hated my parents, I hated the world, basically. For making us hide it, for making us be ashamed of something so beautiful, as if it were really any of their business. I swear, I live for the day when people stop being crusaders and leave us alone. I wonder if it's even possible at this point.
We got dressed, and Ryan straightened out my collar for me as we walked out of the room. We saw Matt and Sam sitting back on the couch, watching reruns of The Simpsons, but seemingly too zoned out to do more than give an occassional giggle here and there. I sat down next to them while Ryan grabbed a root beer from the fridge. "I know you always tell me not to worry about it, but I just really can't thank you guys enough for letting us use this place. It really means a lot to us. You have no idea."
"No problem dude. You know it's yours whenever you need it." Matt answered.
Then Sam said, "So when are you guys gonna let us watch?" He grinned.
Matt gave him a playful smack in the back of the head. "Dude!"
"Hehehe, ow! I was just wondering..."
"Yeah, well don't ya pervert!" Matt smiled.
"Pervert? YOU'RE the one who mentioned it first. Remember that one time..." Matt put his hand over Sam's mouth and they both giggled madly.
"Don't EVEN listen to him!" Watching the two of them made me laugh. They were so happy together, another perfect match of personalities that were so in sync with one another that they seemed like two halves of the same person. Two blond beauties, just glad to have stumbled upon each other one day by mistake. It's rare, but it happens. We're all living proof of that.
Ryan came back down and saw them wrestling back and forth on the couch. "Hehehehe...should I even ask?"
"You DON'T want to know." I replied. Ryan sat down next to me, our legs touching, and I just had to stare at him. I guess seeing Sam and Matt being so close made me appreciate Ryan all the more. And I leaned over to kiss him delicately on the cheek. I just sort of did it on impulse. But then again...everything I did around Ryan was on impulse. My emotions were always in total control, whether I liked it or not?
"C'mon, we'd better go babe." Ryan whispered. "We'll see you guys later."
"Take it easy you two." Sam said.
I turned back and told them, "We miss you guys something awful, you know? When are you guys going to come back and hang out with us again?"
They kinda looked at each other, and their smiles drooped a little bit. "I...I don't think that's such a good idea...not yet." Matt answered.
Ryan missed them just as much as I did. "It won't be so bad. You guys have to put this whole thing behind you eventually. Besides, I'm sure Tyler misses you too, even if he won't admit it."
"I just...I don't want to make things uncomfortable. I mean, I see Ty in the hallway sometimes, and he can't even bare to look at me. I just think...it's probably best if we kept our distance for a while before we screw things up any worse." Sam seemed a bit down about it, even though he tried to hide it. I would love to be able to guarantee that Tyler would welcome them with open arms if they came to sit down with us at lunch again. Unfortunately...I couldn't. I think Tyler was really hurt by the whole situation, and the only thing that kept it from hurting even worse was his ability to ignore it when it wasn't in front of his face. Out of sight, out of mind, I suppose. Still, I missed the days when this little issue didn't exist.
"I understand..." I said. "...But you guys are ALWAYS welcome, ok? Always."
"Yeah, we know. We just..." Sam started.
And Matt finished with, "...We just want to give him some more time. Maybe give ourselves some more time too." And with that, we exchanged a few hugs and left.
The next morning, Tyler opened his front door to head off to school, and saw Ryan and I sitting on his front steps waiting on him. Much to his surprise. "Jesus! Are you guys stalking me now?"
"Morning Tyler!" We both said with big grins.
"I'm NOT talking!" He said, squeezing past us and trying not to laugh.
Ryan and I grabbed our bags and walked right behind him. "We're never gonna leave you alone unless you tell us! We'll follow you around to all of your classes today if we have to." Ryan already knew how to tease Tyler, and exactly what to say to hit the right buttons. And me? I was just a quick learner.
"We are going to be your own personal shadow for the rest of the day." I added. "So you might as well tell us and get it overwith."
Tyler didn't say anything, but he was blushing, and his smile was trying hard to burst forward, despite his attempts to hold it back. He was going to crack! I could see it! The date must have been better than we thought! Ryan looked over at me in surprise, he could see it too. And he said, "Why Randy...I think Tyler is getting ready to burst!" Hearing Ryan say that, Tyler began to snicker outloud.
"You're RIGHT! He's gonna tell us! TELL US!!! C'mon Tyler! Spit it out!" I said excitedly.
"Shut up you guys!" He said. God, he was so CUTE about it!
"Tell us!" I shouted.
"You can't hold it back forever, Ty!" Ryan said. And we basically traded back and forth until Tyler burst out in a nervous giggle and let loose.
"It was AWESOME!!!" He laughed. "Totally, wonderfully, blissfully, fantastic! Aww...you guys should have seen him. Ariel is so cute, and sweet, and fun! I was SO scared, and he just...he made me feel so good inside, you know? And soon, I was still shaking, but I wasn't really scared so much...just...I don't know...shaking. Hahaha! Dude, I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore, but it feels great!" Wow...I kinda expected Tyler to be happy, but this was not like him at all. He was usually Mr. Calm about any kind of romantic happenings. But seeing him like this caught us completely off guard.
"Omigod...I KNEW you two were perfect for each other." Ryan said, giving him a big hug.
"This is so weird! It's like...I'll think about him, and this big warm rush will just wash over me and I can't stop giggling! I want to laugh all day long! I mean, I don't even want to go outside or anything, I just want to lay back in my bed...and just...and just...think about him. Oh God! I must be going NUTS! But I don't care, I can hardly contain myself!" He was practically hopping up and down and dancing in the streets. Ryan and I didn't even know what to do with him being this happy. It made me feel good inside to know that he was finally getting his turn. Even after all the heartbreak and the drama and the tears, he was able to give love another chance. And he found exactly what he was looking for. BOY did he find it! I was almost jealous of the fact that he wasn't even half this goofy over ME.
"Hehehe, Ty, dude...calm down." Ryan grinned.
"I don't WANT to calm down! I want to scream dude!" And he gave us both a big hug and then he spun himself around, falling back onto one of the neighbors' lawns. He just laid there, looking up at the sky and laughing. "Sigh...there it is again. That feeling. Can you feel it? I can." Tyler closed his eyes and dreamily thought about Ariel, "He's out there somewhere, right now. And I love him. Hehehe...I love him so much it hurts. I don't even know why, I just do."
It took us another ten minutes to get Tyler back to his senses and off of that lawn. The rest of the way to school, he was either silent, and smiling to himself, or he was talking about 'you know who'. I'm telling you, it was just fun to watch. And I was sure that he was going to be dreaming about Ariel for a long time to come. Ryan and I went to History class that morning feeling just as giddy as he was, but got a wake up call when Hailey walked by his desk and 'accidently' knocked his book over onto the floor. Then she went to the back of the class and sat down. "Sigh...what does she want from me?" Ryan pouted.
"Dude, don't let her get to you. She'll snap out of it and find herself some other cutie to drape herself over. Don't sweat it."
"I'm not used to this, you know? It's like my name was suddenly passed through the female gossip network in this place, and now I've got girls I don't even know hissing at me. HALF of them act like I'm Hitler."
"What about the other half?"
"They figure Hailey is out of the picture and figure they can jump me." He smiled. But I could tell it bugged him a bit. "I really didn't mean to hurt her. Honestly."
"I know." To be honest, I could think of a single reason for anybody to hate Ryan at all. He always had a smile for everybody. A person had to work excessively hard to ever get on his bad side. The only people who ever had a problem with him were just jealous or hurt that they couldn't be him or be with him. I would probably be in the same position if he had chosen someone else instead of me. I can't imagine what my life would be without him. And I never wanted to.
"You know, my dad still doesn't know. I was trying to find the right time to tell him, but..."
"Your dad loves you Ryan. He's not having an easy time with all of this, but I guess it would be hard on anybody. I think he'd understand."
"Yeah, well...I guess he'll figure it out eventually. Especially when he realizes that she stopped calling me like 30 times a day." The teacher walked in, and we stopped talking. But Ryan glanced over at me, then back at Hailey. Then he smiled and shook his head. "No contest." He whispered.
Lunchtime rolled around pretty quickly that day, and I'm glad. If Tyler was bouncing off the walls, I couldn't wait to see how Ariel was taking all this. He'd probably be blushing so hard that he'd pass out from the blood rush. I grabbed some money out of my pocket and got in the a la carte line to pick up a sandwich and a soda. I normally don't pay that much attention to most of the other kids around me, but I overheard a conversation that got my attention all too quickly. Not that it seemed like anything that important, but I heard some guys whispering, and I heard a single word that made my ears perk up immediately.
It was a moment of fear that I experienced, hearing that word whispered around me. I'm always wondering if I had been 'discovered'. If maybe Ryan and I were walking too close, or hanging out too much, or if he touched me in some way that would give people all the hints that they would need to figure us out. My defenses tightened up automatically, and I listened closely to see if I should just leave before they noticed that I was there. A million thoughts flashed in front of my mind, and I was dizzy with the idea of trying to come up with a million excuses as to why I'm not gay. Just in case they asked. Much to my relief, they weren't talking about me. A false alarm. I relaxed, and let out a deep breath. Thank God.
"...Yeah, he was at the downtown school when I went there. And him and this other guy were caught kissing in one of the private rooms in the library." One of them said.
"Are you SERIOUS? Ewwww...what the fuck, man?" The other one said with disgust.
"Exactly. They didn't even deny it. So I guess they just decided to be all open about it from then on. It looks like both him AND his boyfriend are transferring over here this semester. I don't know him that well, but his twin sister used to be in my French class." I listened on, wondering if I should be upset, or keep quiet. I fiddled around, pretending to be deciding on a snack so I could hear some more.
"I don't get fags, dude. Really."
"Well, I don't hate them or anything. I mean, I'm just telling you so you know." The first one said. "And the word 'fag' isn't really pc."
"Whatever. I'll be keeping my ass on lock down from now on." People can be so ignorant sometimes.
"If I thought you were going to be all homophobic about it, I wouldn't have told you. Just be cool, ok? He's a person like anybody else."
"Well, it looks like I know of ONE virgin who's looking to get his dick sucked." He said, teasing his friend.
The first guy, even though he sounded like he was trying to be cool about the whole thing, giggled and replied, "Nah, if I wanted some head, I'd go to the street corner and ask your mother." They laughed a bit, and walked away. That's when I looked to see who they were talking about.
He was standing in the regular lunch line, getting the school meatloaf that I was trying desperately to avoid by getting in the a la carte line to begin with. He seemed, just by looking at him, pretty independent. And yet, still alone somehow. Obviously a 'new kid' who was trying to figure things out. He was about my height, with short light brown hair, bright green eyes, very cute. I mean, he had certain cuteness about him that he didn't have to work hard to bring out at all. In fact, he made all of the other cute kids in the lunch line look 'made up'. Like the rest of them had to dress up and spend hours on their hair, while this kid could just wake up and be just as beautiful in the morning as he was when he went to bed the night before. I'm not sure what it was really, but something inside of me wanted to walk over. Just to say hi, maybe invite him to eat lunch with us, I don't know...something. He just had this look about him that made him seem...friendly. I decided to give it a shot and walk over. Couldn't hurt. Afterall, us 'fags' have to stick together.
"Hi." I said. He turned to look at me, his eyes almost mesmerizing me with their gaze.
"Hello." He said. And then there was a silence as he waited for me to say something else. But I wasn't quite sure what that 'something else' would be. "It's your turn, you know?"
"Huh?" I said.
"You said, 'hi'. Then I said, 'hello'. It's your turn again." His voice was sexy, like a 'mature' sexy. Not hazy all the time, just on certain words, and it was pleasing to the ear.
"Oh...um...nothing really. Just...hi." I stuttered.
He gave me a weird look and replied, "Just 'hi'. Ok...well, that's clever. Thanks." And then he just walked past me to pay for his food. Somehow, I don't think that went as well as it was supposed to go. So I did the only thing that I could, I paid for my lunch and went to our table. Ryan was sitting in his usual spot, but both Ariel and Tyler seemed to be missing. I was kinda hoping to see the two of them together today, but they seemed to be a no show. But hey, they deserve a little space. Afterall, they're not getting together for our entertainment. Ryan and I ate lunch as always, but once I caught a glimpse of the guy I was talking to, I started watching him. He went to sith a girl and the two of them ate alone in a corner. It was weird, because neither one of them looked down at all. In fact, they both seemed pretty happy with each other's company. But a piece of me just felt lke he needed a friend. It was some weird 6th sense type of thing that refused to leave me alone, even when he was smiling.
Ariel could skip lunch, but there was no way that he'd skip his art class. And sure enough, when I walked in the door, there he was, tucked away against the wall and scribbling in his sketchbook before class. "We missed you today." I said, catching him by surprise.
"Oh...yeah. I went to eat on the front lawn today." He smiled.
"The front lawn? That's new for you."
"Well..." He blushed, "...it was...Tyler's idea." He turned his eyes back to his notebook, but he was still grinning, I could see it.
"I see. Hehehe...well, I hope you two had a good time then." I said.
"Yeah...it was cool." His voice was getting lower and lower, and his smile kept getting bigger and bigger. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was just as lovey dovey as Tyler was. But he was holding it back remarkably well, considering Tyler's outburst this morning.
I couldn't help but giggle, "You're in love...aren't you?" I asked.
Ariel didn't say a word, he just looked up at me with his baby brown eyes shining and a cute smile that defied description, and he showed me his sketchbook. Just a quick flash, but enough to know that it was a drawing of Tyler wearing a pair of jeans with an open shirt, showing his chest. And the drawing was encased in a heart shaped balloon with his name written in cursive below it. My mouth opened wide, and Ariel giggled playfully as he hugged the sketchbook back tightly against his chest.
"Awww, dude, let me see it!" I said.
"No...you saw it already."
"C'mon, I didn't get a good look at everything."
"Shhhhh!" He whispered, noticing some people paying attention to us giggling. "It's not finished yet. I've been kinda working on it all day." He turned an even deeper shade of red, and a sensual smile crossed his lips. He shrugged bashfully and whispered, "I can't seem to get it right."
"Don't think it's good enough?"
"Sigh...it'll never be good enough." His eyes glazed over and he stared at the drawing as though it were alive. If people hadn't been watching, I am pretty sure that he would have leaned in a kissed it. He whispered to me, "He's so much more than I could have ever dreamed, Randy. It's like I can 'feel' him everywhere I go. He's so rad."
While he was lost in his thoughts, I got to sneak a few peeks at the drawing anyway, and it was beautiful. Just by looking at it, I could tell that he really put his soul into it. I had seen some amazing stuff by him before, but nothing with this much passion in it. His pencil strokes seemed so gentle and carefully planned when drawing Tyler's smooth chest, the slightly visible muscles of his stomach, the curve of his neck, the softness of his blond hair. And he made sure that his shirt was open wide enough to show a very well drawn nipple on the right. I think Ariel had been thinking about this for a long long time to be able to capture Tyler so vividly. And yet it was dreamlike, like he was floating right off of the page. Then I looked down and saw something that made me smile. It appears that Ariel had been...um...extremely 'forgiving' in the crotch area. "I especially like the special attention given to the crotch area, Ariel." I grinned, and it brought him out of his lustful high immediately. He pulled it back into his chest quickly, and his timid shade of red began to glow even more radiantly.
"Um...yeah...well...it's not like...I mean I wasn't..." The teacher walked in at that moment, and started class as soon as he shut the door. Saving Ariel from even ATTEMPTING to explain himself. He quickly shut up his sketchbook, and nervously packed it away in the bottom of his backpack where no one would be able to get to it. He was already a beautiful boy inside and out, but being in love made him even more adorable than ever. Especially with that shy grin of his making his eyes light up like that.
I left him alone after that, although I did get a kick out of seeing him squirm around the way he did. But I decided to give him a break. Because if he was falling in love like I once did, the pain of being apart from his other half was torture enough. For the rest of the class period, he seemed to be sneaking chances to work on his tribute to Tyler, stuffed pants and all. I would see him staring at the page so intensely, the pencil in his hand barely touching the page at some points. Almost as if he were tracing the outline of Tyler's slim body with his fingertips. Then he would look at it lovingly, but he was never satisfied. He was simply trying to capture a certain beauty that was beyond expression. And seeing him try to put his thoughts and his emotions into that one drawing, I felt my first love through him all over again. He was really going to enjoy having Ty by his side. I could tell.
The rest of the school day was pretty boring. The most exciting thing was having a bee fly in through the window during our science class and freaking people out for a few minutes. Other than that, I was ready to go by the time the bell rang. Ryan was staying after school retake a few pop quizzes that he had missed out on during one of our many 'absences' in class. And Tyler was giddy about walking Ariel home afterschool that day, so I had no intentions on being the third wheel in that little situation. But no biggie, I figured that I would head on home, finish some homework early, watch a little tv, break out some old cds, and just spend some quiet time at home. The silence can be comforting at times. But as I was walking out of the back door, I happened to see the new kid from lunch walking out ahead of me. So, I didn't make the greatest first impression. Maybe the second first impression will work out a little better.
He was walking out through the parking lot by himself, and I called out, "Hey...wait up." As I caught up to him.
He looked back, "Well...if it isn't the welcoming committee." He said, and kept walking.
"I know I came off as some kind of dork at lunch today..."
"Yeah. Well, you're doing SO much better now." Ok, this kid didn't seem to want to be noticed. The only question is...do I take that as a rejection, or a challenge. I kept walking faster to keep up the pace, and he he said, "Do I know you?"
"I don't think so." I answered. "Look, I'm not trying to be weird or anything."
"Of course not. What could possibly be weird about a total stranger following me through the parking lot afterschool and wanting to talk?"
"Ok, so maybe it is a bit strange, but I just wanted to talk to you."
"You want to talk to me?" He asked.
"Yeah, I do."
"May I ask why?" He never stopped walking, it was like he didn't care.
"I dunno...I thought...maybe you needed a friend."
"And you, of course, would be the friend that I needed. Is that it?"
"Well...I could be if you stop trying to shut me out and just talk to me." I said.
He finally stopped walking and turned to look me in the eye. "Fine. You wanna talk. Go ahead...talk." He stared right into my eyes, and I stumbled around for something decent to say, but I guess couldn't speak under pressure like that. He waited a few seconds, then just said, "...yeah, fine. Great. Well, it was nice talking with ya." And he started walking again. Grrr!
"My name's Randy." I said finally, still not giving up. It was stupid, I know it was. But hey, if someone knew that I was gay, I could only wish that they could make it this easy to talk to them. I didn't want to 'expose' him just yet, but I definately wanted to make a connection.
"Sigh...you're not going to go away, are you?" He said, stopping to lean against a tree.
"Do you want me to?"
"Actually...yeah." He was purposely trying to keep his distance from me, I could tell. Listening to his words alone would have made me turn tails a long time ago, but his eyes gave him away. He wasn't nearly as rude as he pretended to be.
"Listen, like I told you...I'm just trying to be friendly."
"Yeah, well I'm not exactly sure how you guys do things in 'Little Suburbia, USA' or wherever the heck I landed myself this time, but where I come from, if a strange kid who has never seen you before in his life, just starts talking to you and wants to be all buddy-buddy with you out of the blue...it usually means he wants something. Now...Randy, is it? You seem like a decent kid, and kinda cute if you don't mind me saying so. But until I find out exactly what it is that YOU want from me, I'd prefer to keep the whole 'welcome to our new school' freaky stalker thing to a minimum. Ok?" I didn't know what to say really. I guess that was that. Whoever he was, he didn't seem to have any trouble speaking his mind. And despite my good intentions, I don't think this was a good way to introduce myself. I didn't want to be a pest afterall.
"Not a good time, I take it. Fine...whatever. You're on your own. But understand this...you're a new kid, in a new school, and you're going to need friends eventually whether you like it or not. I only hope you treat them a little nicer than you did me." I said, and I hoisted my bag up on my shoulder and started to head home.
I had only gotten about ten paces away from him, before he caved in. "It's Cody." Came a voice from behind me.
"My name...it's Cody. Happy now?" At LAST! A small dent in his seemingly impenetratable armor. I walked back over to him, his eyes glowing with beauty, no matter how hard he tried to hide them behind his attitude, and offered my hand. He was hesitant at first, looking at my hand as though he expected to see a razor blade hidden in the palm, but he finally reached out to shake it. I smiled a bit, and he just gave me a weird look in return. "You're sick in the head. You know that, right?"
"That's what they tell me." I put my bag down, and hoped that he would open up a bit. "So where are you from?"
"I was actually born in Canada, but I moved here when I was like 4..." He said. And that was the beginning of a long, but 'structured' conversation. I could tell he was trying, a little bit. But it was almost like he didn't trust me. Like he expected me to pull off some prosthetic mask and see the devil himself underneath it. He kept holding back, and I just couldn't get him to relax enough to really have too much of a chat.
Then, out of thin air, without any warning or build up whatsoever...he said, "You know...I'm not sucking your dick. So don't ask."
I was surprised. I tried not to show it on my face, but I think it was shining through anyway. "W-w-what makes you think I would want you to?" I stumbled.
"Because you're gay. Am I right?"
I was....beyond shocked at that very moment. Call it a reflex, but I answered with, "I'm...Wait...dude...I'm not...I mean...What makes you think I'm even REMOTELY....?" But he saw through every lie I could think of, and I was stuck for an answer.
"Gaydar, my friend. You set it off the second you walked up to 'just say hi'." I looked at him, and felt so...I don't know...BAD! He knew. He looked at me, and he could tell. And if HE could do that, then so could the rest of the kids in school if they really wanted to. How many knew? How many were snickering behind my back as I walked down the halls there? How many would be able to really look at me and reveal the secret that this 'Cody' had after I had been hiding it for oh so long? Unless it was some weird trick or something.
"I...I don't know what you're talking about."
"Uh huh, sure you don't. Listen, as long as we have the whole 'male prostitute' fiasco worked out as far as our friendship is concerned, your secret is safe with me. Cool?"
"Um...uh...o-o-ok..." Was all I could say at that point.
He looked me up and down and said, "Sorry. Didn't mean to rattle you or anything. But...I've been 'asked', you know? I just wanted to get that out of the way so you don't go wasting your time."
"Thanks...I guess." He looked away and saw his bus get stopped at the light a block away. But before he left, I had to ask. Even if I already did know the answer. "So...you got a boyfriend?"
"HAD a boyfriend, yes. Not anymore." He picked up his bag, getting ready to go.
"Oh. Bad topic of conversation?" I asked.
"Well, let's just say that I was looking for somebody to love. He was looking for somebody to fuck on a regular basis. It's funny, even knowing what's on the other person's mind, how long a situation like that can work out perfectly for the both of us. One day, I decided to look for more." He was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable with the whole conversation. It showed in his gestures, in his facial expressions, in the way that he was silently wishing that the bus would hurry up and cross the short distance between it and us.
"Don't be. I guess it was a lesson that I had to learn. There's a lot of people that I'd want to sleep with. Very few that I want to love. His lovely 'fanbase' outnumbered me." The bus finally pulled up and opened its doors. "This is my ride. Later." He said, not even offering the simplest of goodbyes.
"Wait, wait. Um...I'll see you tomorrow or something? Maybe at lunch?"
"Oh goody! Will there be cotton candy and sodie pop?" He said sarchastically. He must have seen the look on my face, and I guess regretted it a bit. "Sigh...yeah. Whatever. Maybe. We'll see."
"A 'maybe' is better than nothing."
"Not always." He got on the bus without looking back, and took off.
Ok, had I accomplished anything? Hard to tell. Even after the bus drove off, I was left standing there with a feeling of confusion. Not knowing whether I had made a friend or not, or if he would go home and laugh his ass off a the idea of me even talking to him. Funny how insecurities can drive you mad long after the situation is over. At least I know his gaydar works. Maybe he can be our 'spy'! Hehehe! I'll have to talk to him a bit more sometime soon. I find it hard to believe that a boy would turn Cody down while he was professing his love...
Unless this unseen boyfriend of his was even hotter than he was.