Coming back from Cody's house after school, I was flushed with this weird feeling of accomplishment. It was like...I got to know him a little bit better than most people ever get a chance to. I mean, Cody isn't really one to 'open up' to much of anybody. But the fact that he actually shared an honest moment or two with me, talking about his history with Sean and the death of his parents and all...it made me feel really special to be close enough to experience it. Almost blessed, in fact. Especially since it took me so much effort just to get him to stop snapping at me and walking away. He's really not so bad once you get to know him, you know? If anything, Cody is just as vulnerable as the rest of us, if not more so. But God forbid if he were to ever let anyone ELSE know that. I guess it's just cool to know that he's not always as invincible as he pretends to be. And that's cool. Honestly...I think a touch of vulnerability in a strong person is...you know...kinda sexy.
Anyway, I was walking into my house, when I heard the phone ringing. It kept going as I unlocked the door, and I moved to get it before the answering machine picked up. I dropped my bag down and kicked off my shoes while answering it. "Hello?"
"THERE you are! Where'd you go?" It was clearly Tyler on the other end, calling me from across the street....and he seemed extremely nervous.
"I just went over to Cody's after school to see if..."
"Nevermind that! Randy......he didn't come over!" Tyler whined. He sounded so....helpless. I felt really bad for him at that moment. "I just...I don't know what to do to get him to talk to me." He said, almost crying from the sound of it. "I'm SO lost as to how to handle this, Randy. I've tried everything."
Geez, he really was taking this hard. I suppose I would too. I tried to brighten up his perspective a bit. "Are you sure that...maybe he isn't just late....or maybe he...?" I asked.
"No more lame excuses dude. No more dumb fantasies either. I'm just...I'm done, dude." He grumbled.
"It's not a dumb fantasy, Tyler! Dude...I mean, are you fucking KIDDING me??? Ariel is so in love with you that he doesn't even know what to DO with himself!" So much for keeping that secret, huh? Ah, screw it. Enough is enough. Besides, it's not like he doesn't know already. "Listen...it's not that Ariel doesn't LIKE you, Ty. He's just afraid of you."
"Why would he be afraid of ME?" He asked, almost whimpering now.
"I dunno. Maybe for the same reasons that you're afraid of HIM. Did you ever stop to think of that?" Tyler was quiet for a moment on his end of the phone, and I just couldn't let him self destruct over this. Even if I WAS going to totally strangle Ariel the very next time that I saw him for backing out on our agreement today.
"I don't want him to be afraid of me, Randy. I just...I wanna be able to hold him and tell him that everything's gonna be ok, you know?"
"I know you do. And you'll get your chance. Soon! ok?"
"I don't want to chase him around if he's trying to give me a 'hint', Randy. I'd rather die."
"He's NOT giving you a 'hint', he's just being..Ariel." Tyler sighed desparingly on the other side of the line, and I knew that he was feeling really down about it. "You're really going to just sit back and let this opportunity pass you by?"
"I don't know what else to do." He sniffled.
"TELL HIM!!!" I yelled.
"It's not that simple, ok?"
"It IS that simple! And you know it is. You just don't wanna do it because you've convinced yourself that it's gonna turn out badly! But I'm telling you, I'm GUARANTEEING you, that it'll be FINE! You're so worried about playing it safe, that you both have dragged this out for much longer than you needed to. So what are you waiting for?"
"I'm hurting right now, ok??? I don't want him to be terrified of me, but I don't know how to fix it. He won't talk to me. He shuts down when I try."
"That's because you're still giving 'signals' and 'clues' and expecting him to suddenly come around."
"Well...can't that be a possibility too?" He said.
"Sure...a possibility. If you're lucky, Ariel might just one day march right up to you and spill his heart out at your feet, and you two will have lots of sex and live happily ever after. But...you're ALSO gambling with the fact that it might NEVER happen, Tyler." I said, and there was more silence on the phone. "If you really wanna make a play for his heart...just...try taking some initiative and putting what you feel on the line. Make the first move and stop 'waiting' for him to come to you."
"But what if...?" He started, but I made sure to interrupt.
"What if you never do a goddam thing and end up feeling stupid about it for the rest of your natural life because you didn't take that ONE golden opportunity you had to be truly happy? Does that sound like a preferable plan in comparison to a few seconds of fucking COURAGE??? Come on, Tyler...you can DO this?"
"You don't have to yell at me, you know?" He said.
"But I DO have to yell at you, Ty. Because you refuse to listen to us anymore." I was frustrated, sure...but I didn't mean to sound angry. So I calmed down a bit and told him, "Dude...it's been awesome to see you smile and giggle and really enjoy the feelings that Ariel inspired in you, and that's been a really sweet experience. But I know you want more. He wants more too. And all that desire with no payoff is causing more 'tension' than it's worth." Then I asked him, "It hurts now, doesn't it? Not being able to hold him?"
"Yeah..." He said weakly.
"It's not just some giggly feeling in your gut anymore is it? You're not happy just peeking at his cute smile and big brown eyes from across a lunch table anymore, are you? You want to take the next step...don't you?"
"Yeah...." He sighed.
"Alright then. If he won't take the first step towards making that happen, then you've gotta do it. If you want to be with him, then go AFTER him. You guys are both waiting around for something special to happen, but you don't even see that something special is ALREADY happening. You're both too terrified of being hurt to even notice it. Just....just be yourself, Tyler. That's what Ariel fell in love with in the first place. And that's what is going to bring you together in the end. Ok?"
There was another silence, and I think I heard him sniffle a bit, but he seemed a bit stronger than when he first called. "You know...I'm sorry if I've been a big 'pest' to you about all of this. It's just...I'm so confused when it comes to him." Tyler's voice had such an audible longing in it. You could feel his desperation through the tone in his voice, and it resonated deep down in your heart to know how much he wanted this. I almost thought about going over there and just spending some quality time being friends to make him feel better.
"It's ok. I remember the feeling. Of course...it didn't TAKE me quite this long!!! Hehehe, but I DO remember the feeling." I said. "Lisen, the very next time you see Ariel, no matter what, just look into his eyes and tell him that you're glad to see him. DON'T wait, ok? And don't let him brush it off by being shy, either. Make sure that he's looking right back at you, and tell him that you're happy to see him. Ok? It'll make him feel good. It might even give him a little courage to tell you the same."
"Sighhh...you make everything sound so easy, Randy."
"Just be honest. You don't have to try to capture his heart, you've already got it. You've just gotta let him know that he's got yours too. K?" Tyler paused, and I smiled. "Come on, you're friggin' Tyler Jordan! Did you forget that??? Boys and girls alike fall all over themselves just trying to sniff the trail you leave behind with your sneakers, for cying out loud! Are you gonna let Ariel terrify you? Bashful little ARIEL? Hehehe!"
"Shut up. I'm not TERRIFIED...I'm just...."
"Terrified." I repeated.
And with a giggle, he said, "Yeah. Terrified." Then he sniffled a bit again, and said. "Thanks, Randy. I mean that. I was seriously going to lose my mind over here."
"Just tell him that you like him tomorrow. Something tells me that those are the words Ariel has been waiting his whole life to hear. Alright? You're beautiful, Tyler. He's not going to turn you down. Trust me."
"You did." He grinned.
"Yeah....well, that's because I was just waaaay out of your league, cupcake." I joked, and it felt good to hear him laugh.
"Hehehe, don't get full of yourself, playboy." Just then, I heard his doorbell ring. "Shit...I've gotta go. Somebody's at the door. Thanks again, ok?"
"It's not problem, dude. Honest."
"Listen, I don't wanna 'bug' you or anything...but would you mind if I came over in a little bit. Just so I won't be left alone in this big house to 'think' about stuff all afternoon."
"Sure, that's cool. We'll hang out and have a few laughs. Just ring the bell whenever you're ready. I'm looking for a reason to dodge my homework anyway."
"Cool. I'll see you later, Randy."
"Later." I said, and we hung up. That Tyler...he's such a basket case over that boy. Hehehe! It's adorable.
I settled in for a little bit. Putting a frozen pizza in the oven for an afternoon snack, and went to my room to change into some shorts and a tshirt. I also made sure to pick up a little bit for my company. I hope Tyler will be able to let this incident roll off of his shoulders without getting discouraged. Hopefully, spending some time together will cheer him up.
I have to admit, I was still kinda feeling good about being over at Cody's house. I wonder if it would be such a big deal if he wasn't so hard to approach most of the time. Who knows? All I know is that it was a fun time. And boyfriend or no boyfriend...I have to confess that Cody looked DAMN fine with his shirt off! I never really noticed his body before, I guess. It's not like it was model perfect or anything....but it was just...fucking deliciously sexy! Hehehe, he's like this classic 'boy next door' type, but...with a few dangerous edges on him that you didn't want to tangle with. It was a sweet combination. I bet he kisses great. I can just tell by the way he carries himself that he would be a passionate kisser. And with those lips...and gorgeous green eyes...mmmmmm, he'd be so hot. I hope I'm not thinking about that the next time that I see him.
After getting comfortable, I turned the tv on and plopped down on the couch, picking up the phone. I still wanted to make plans with Sam and Matt for tomorrow. I really hope that Ryan and I get a chance to spend some quality time together in their basement soon. He really has been itching for some form of intimacy lately. And between studying for finals, and my mom being around, and his dad being weird, and Tyler flipping out...we haven't had as much time for more than a few loving kisses lately. It used to be so easy in the beginning. Hiding out at each other's houses, and sneaking in bedroom windows and all. How did things get to be so 'inconvenient' all of the sudden. Maybe it's because the ten minute quickie isn't enough to satisfy us anymore. Our sexual intimacy and emotional connection had gone beyond that now. I suppose it's different from a few teenagers trying to blow a load before their parents get home. We need....sighhhh...time and silence...to just enjoy being in love. There's nothing like it in the world. Sex by itself can't touch it.
Ah well, whatever the inconvenience is, I hope to get a break from it tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to give Ryan such a hot time that he'll have enough sexual satisfaction to last him until Spring Break. And then we will REALLY go wild! Just thinking about it is giving me a woody!
I dialed Matt's number, and let it ring a few times. I was pretty sure that Sam was going to be over there, and chances were that they were already tangled up in each other's arms and legs. So I made sure to give them a chance to unlock themselves before hanging up. The answering machine came on, "Hey! This is Matt! I'm not home right now, but if you leave a number, and I decide that I like you, then I'll call you back....maybe! Wait for the beep!" Not home. Suuuuure.
I heard the beep on the machine, and said, "I KNOW you guys are there! Pick up! If you don't, I'm gonna leave one heck of a dirty message for your MOM to find!"
Just then, I heard someone pick up. "That's SO evil, dude!" Sam giggled.
"I take it you and Matt are 'busy' right now?"
"Not anymore. Just...relaxing." He smiled.
"You know it." I heard Matt lightly smack Sam on his bare ass, and they grinned at one another, before Sam gave him a kiss on the forehead. "Ok, here's the man of the house. I'm gonna get some grub from upstairs." Sam handed the phone over and Matt sounded, slightly out of breath.
"Mmmmm...Randy, you have seriously intruded on a 'Utopian' moment here." He teased.
"Oh, knock it off. You guys have 'em all the time."
"Not like today. I swear, Randy, if we get any better at sex, I'm gonna enter us in a competition somewhere." He laughed. "He's still hard, you know? Just seeing it bounce all stiff like that...it makes me want him even more, you know that?"
"Ahh, details...none! No more!" I demanded.
"Too bad. You're missing out."
"Whatever, loverboy. Say...I need a favor." I asked.
"Name it." He moaned as he stretched out naked and yawned a bit.
"I wanna know if maybe Ryan and I can come by tomorrow after school and enjoy some quiet time. Is that cool?"
"I don't see a problem with it. I think my mom is actually working until 7 tomorrow, so you'll have an extra hour or so." He said. "But you better bring some quarters for the laundry. I'm not paying to wash those sheets anymore! Hehehe! My mom is starting to get suspicious of me washing two sets of bed linen all the time. I'm not that neat."
"And here I thought you were being hospitable." I said.
"Hospitality only goes so far. Besides, I'm saving up for a new DVD player, and every quarter counts." Just then, I heard Sam come back in the room, and Matt moaned a bit at the sight of him. I take it he was still stiff as a board. "Randy...I hope you don't mind, but I've really gotta go."
"Don't wear him out." I smiled. "I'll be by tomorrow."
"Cool. Later." Matt hung up and, I suppose, went back to distracting Sam from his snack. They really have been happy together for quite some time. I just wish that they hadn't had that falling out with Tyler a while back. It would be cool to have us all hang out again without those nasty 'issues' floating around. Maybe someday.
Speaking of Tyler, maybe I should go out with him some place instead of having him mope around the house with me all afternoon. Maybe I'll take him to Frankie's. We'll throw some food around, make a mess, Frankie will threaten to gut us with a butcher knife, and we'll both get a few chuckles from it. I think it'll cheer him up. I'll call him back and ask him.
I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up. The phone rang, and rang, and then...all of the sudden, Tyler yanked up the receiver with a frantic whisper. "Randy???" He said, probably seeing my name on the caller ID.
"Tyler...are you ok?"
"HE'S HERE!!!" He whispered loudly, muffling his words with his other hand.
"Who?" I asked.
"You know.....HIM!" He said.
"YES!!! HE CAME OVER! WHAT DO I DO???"
"What do you DO?" I asked. "You do just what I told you to do. You go in there, and you tell him..."
"I DID! I already did that!"
"You did?" I said. "Wow...cool. How did he take it?"
"Good...I think. But...um...NOW what? I don't know what else to say."
"You'll do fine. Just talk some more. Enjoy your privacy a little bit. Show him the Tyler Jordan that makes the girls swoon at school all day."
"Damn straight! Tyler 'fucking' Jordan! I'll bet Ariel is trembling in your presence right now. So go get him. Find some kind of activity to take some of the tension off." I told him.
"An activity? Like what?"
"Like hours of nonstop hot buttery sex!" I joked.
"SHUT UP!!! Oh God, you'll make it worse!" He whispered.
"Tell me what Ariel tastes like. Mmmm, I'll bet he's soooo sweet...like a summer peach lightly brushed with a thin layer of honey! Smooth, and wet, and sticky, and warm, and absolutely yummy in every possible..."
"SHHH! Dude...I'm hanging up now!" He said suddenly, and then the phone clicked off before I had the chance to say another word. Tyler was so flustered at the thought of it that his blush could practically be seen glowing red out of the windows of his house. I opened the curtain a bit to peek across the street. To think...Ariel is over there right now. And Tyler is completely alone with him this time! No watchful eyes. No interruptions. Wow...that's gotta be enough sexual tension to strangle a rhino! Hehehe, ah well, so much for my afternoon company.
Instead of getting involved in anything constructive, I decided to kick my feet up and just gaze blankly at MTV for a while. You know, pushing aside the whole 'me being gay' thing...there is something SO hot about seeing Shakira do the things that she does with her body. I swear the woman has no bones between her shoulders and hips at ALL! I wonder if I can get Ryan to do that. Nah...it looks better with breasts. Geez, I can't believe I just thought that. Anyway, about 25 minutes went by, and I was almost tempted to get up and get out of the house just so I could have a better excuse to not finish up my homework for the night. But the phone rang. "Hello?"
"Randy, it's me!" Came another excited whisper from Tyler. "Big trouble!" He said, and then hushed up while he tried to move himself into a 'secure' position in his house.
"Trouble? What happened?"
"He was on the bed with me...."
"He was WHAT???" I said, a bit shocked.
"NO! I don't mean like that! We were just talking, right. And he got all...sweet and cute...and I was looking at him, and he was SO damn adorable...and I just...I..." He whined.
"I wanted to kiss him. I mean, really REALLY bad! But...he started to tremble a little bit, and I got worried, and I didn't know if I should or not, and...I think I fucked it up! What do I do?"
"You get back in there and pick up where you left off!" I said, feeling excited myself! "Dude, what are you doing calling ME? He's waiting for you!"
"I'm TRYING! But I froze! God, Randy...my heart is beating so fast that I can't even BREATHE right now! I can't mess this up. Not now." He whimpered. "I think...I think he's gonna let me kiss him."
"So KISS him!!!"
"I CAN'T!!!" He whispered loudly.
"What do you mean you can't?"
"I CAN'T!!! This is just...it's too unreal! I'm really stuck here!"
"Ok, listen to me very carefully, Tyler...I want you to hang up this phone. You hear me? I want you to hang it up, and I DON'T want you to call me back. Do you understand? Just go into that bedroom, get the mood back, and kiss Ariel on the lips as SOON as you get the chance. Ok?"
"But it's all fucked up NOW!!!" He said, and then, all of the sudden, I heard a slight gasp, and the phone clicked.
"Hello?" I said. "Tyler?" Nothing. The phone went dead. I guess he got caught. Ok, that's it. No more help from the peanut gallery. I'm gonna let those two work it out for themselves. I'm no cupid.
That's when the phone rang AGAIN! Dammit! I picked it up quickly. "Tyler....dude! What did I just SAY???"
But the voice at the other end wasn't Tyler's. It was much younger. And yet, familiar. "I dunno! What did you say?"
"Wait...Wilson?" I asked.
"Yeah, it's me."
"I'm sorry. I thought you were somebody else."
"Well, duh." He answered. Then he burst out with, "Hey! I need you to babysit me next Friday!" He plucked it out of the air so quickly that I hardly had time to react.
"Next Friday! My mom was gonna stick me with some dumb old lady she knows from church. But I HATE her! She smells like old cheese and she makes us stop watching tv after 9 o'clock! She's psycho!"
Naturally, I was a bit lost as to what the heck Wilson was talking about. "I don't know if I can babysit next Friday, Wilson."
"Come on! You HAVE to! Please??? It's 'Monkey Blowtorch' day!"
"SHIT!!!" He whispered loudly. "Oops! I mean...dang! Look, I can't talk now! My mom is coming! Tell your mom you're coming over! I'll call ya later!" He said.
"Wilson...wait...what the heck is Monkey Blo..." but he hung up on me before I could even get the words out of my mouth. What the hell is that kid ON? What a joy it must be to exist in his crazy word for just one hour a day. Okaaaaay...this afternoon is getting excessively weird with each ticking minute. I'm getting away from this house before it gets any worse.
I attempted to call Tyler a little bit later that night, but he never picked up the phone. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I SO hope that it wasn't a bad thing. My mind ran through a billion scenarios with Tyler and Ariel trying to tell each other how they feel. Some ended up with a happy ending, some didn't. I just hope that Tyler is ok either way. After two heartbreaks, I don't know how he could possibly take a third blow to his sensitive feelings. Tyler was a deeply emotional person, he takes those things pretty hard when he thinks he's not good enough to be with that perfect somebody. Sigh...I really just hope he's ok. I tried calling again, but got no answer. His light was on in his room across the street, but I guess he wasn't up to talking to anybody. Shit...they didn't work it out, did they? Awww, poor Ty. I'll do my best to cheer him up if I see him tomorrow.
I woke up the next morning a bit late, wearing out my snooze button until it almost didn't work anymore. I lazily rolled out of bed and tried to work up enough energy to get dressed. My mom had made bacon and egg sandwiches for breakfast, and for some reason they tasted DIVINE that morning! Sometimes, certain treats have just the right flavor that you're looking for, and it's awesome. Then there was a knock at the back door while I was sitting in the kitchen. I saw Ryan in the window, and felt a huge smile cross my face. "I got it, Mom!" I shouted to her with my mouth still half full of food.
I opened the door and Ryan bounced his way in. "What's up?" He said happily, and peeked around the corner. "Where's your mom?"
"Mmmmm...good." He gave me a sweet grin, wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed me gently on the lips. "Good morning."
I wiped my mouth and pushed him back a bit with my hands. "Hehehe, wait...I've still got food in my mouth. That's gross." But he didn't let me go, instead kissing me on the cheek. Then he let his playful smooches move down to my neck and I giggled wildly as I tried to swallow what I was chewing. "Mmph...wait...quit it!" I pushed myself away, and I heard my mom's bedroom door open. So Ryan released me and we sat at opposite sides of the kitchen table while I tried to finish breakfast.
"How do you feel about pork chops tonight for dinner?" My mom said, coming into the kitchen and putting on her earrings. "Oh, hi, Ryan."
"Hey, Mom." He said. She always smiled when he called her 'Mom'. To her, he was the sweetest little boy in the world. If only she knew the wicked things that we'd get up to the second we got the house to ourselves.
"That's fine." I said.
"Ok. I might be a little bit late coming home from work tonight. So if you get hungry there are some hot pockets in the freezer. JUST one, ok? Don't ruin your dinner."
"Um, actually, I'm going over to a friend's house after school. So...it's no hurry."
"Well, don't ruin your dinner over there either." She fixed herself up a bit, and leaned over to give Ryan a kiss on the top of his head. "Do you want something to eat, hon?"
"Nah, I'm cool. Thanks though." He said. I have to admit, as freaky as it sounds, there was something so HOT about having a boyfriend be so sweet in front of a parent. It made my knees bounce a little under the table. Ryan smiled at me, seeing that look in my eye, and he winked at me.
I finished eating and washed it down with a glass of milk, and got up to put my plate in the sink. My mom left the kitchen, and as soon as she was out of ear shot, I approached Ryan's chair. "So, what did you....?" He started, but I cut him off by kissing him hungrily on the mouth. Hehehe, it surprised him at first, but he quickly melted into it and raised up a hand to run his fingers through my hair. We kissed each other for a few moments, the smacking of our lips so loud that I thought we might get caught. Then my mother walked in to the room next to us, and our suction was halted with a gentle pop. She wasn't in the room, but she could walk by he door and see us if we weren't careful. And let's be honest, when I'm kissing Ryan...I don't have ANYTHING else on my mind except for how good he makes me feel.
I giggled as I saw Ryan grin with a dreamy look on his face, and he reached out for the tent in front of me as I tried to push his hand away. We laughed for a moment or two before my mom came back into the kitchen to grab her lunch out of the fridge. I had my back to her, but had to sit down at the table again to hide my hardness from her. I looked over at him, and his strawberry blond silken locks were hanging just a little bit longer than normal, tickling the tops of his eyebrows, and I felt my heart swell up as I, once again, thanked the angels for giving him to me. Wow....to me. "So...where are you going after school?" He asked me.
"You mean where are WE going after school? WE are going over to hang out in Matt's basement. I talked to him yesterday." I said, and you should have seen the way that Ryan's eyes widened when I said it. His whole face just glowed. "You don't have anything else to do, do you?"
"Are you kidding? I'd cancel it in a heartbeat if I did. I'm there." He kept himself contained while my mom was in the room. But if he could, he'd be wetting my face with kisses by now. My mom wasn't really listening, I don't think, but she was still close by. So we made sure to keep our conversation as 'undercover' as we could. "Actually...I was wondering if you heard anything about that particular situation from yesterday."
"You know...with Tyler? And 'you know who'?"
"OH...that. I don't really know. Like....he didn't tell me...'anything'." I said. My mom warmed up a cup of water in the microwave for some instant coffee, and then leaned up against he counter to take a sip or two. "Maybe we should go over there this morning and, like, ask or something."
"We can't. His mom said that he left REALLY early, this morning. He's already gone off to school."
"What? Really?" I lowered my voice even more. "He's avoiding us. Dude, something must have gone wrong."
"Well..." Ryan started, but he looked over to see what my mom was doing, and I turned to see as well. When she looked up from her cup of coffee, there were two teenage boys staring at her.
"Sorry. I didn't know you two were having a 'conference'." She said, grabbing a section from the morning paper and leaving the kitchen. "Proceed with your secret meeting. I'll be in my room 'not listening'."
"Ok, go ahead." Ryan said, hearing her go back to her bedroom.
"I'm just saying, if Tyler left his house THAT early, he must be trying to avoid us. And Ariel too. I'll see Ariel in art class before lunch, so I'll see what I can find out."
"Cool. I'd hunt Tyler down and make him talk to me, but he's the kind of person who always needs some time to sulk first before talking. Whatever it is, I'm sure we can get them to try again." Ryan stood up, quietly walked over to my chair, and got down on his knees. He put his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me close and kissing me deeply as his hand traveled up my thigh. "Did you really get Matt to let us come over again today?" He said with a sensual haze in his voice.
"Yeah. He even said that we could have an extra hour or so because his mom is coming home late." The mere mention of it made Ryan moan, and he kissed me again.
"Ok. I'll meet you out by the fence after the last bell, and we'll go over. I'll get extra clean for ya in the gym showers after class. Hehehe!"
"I know you will." Our lips met a few more times, and we almost got carried away before my Mom made a slight noise from her room. So we stopped, and I stood up, and we got our backpacks to get ready to leave. "We're leaving, Mom!" I yelled.
"Ok, be safe, you two!"
"We will!" Ryan and I got to the door, and he turned to give me one last long suckable kiss before leaving. He bent his knees a bit, and used his hands to grope me from behind as he pushed his hardness into me. We held it for a few moments longer, and then forced ourselves apart. God...this afternoon is gonna be AWESOME!!!
Ryan and I walked to school, but could barely stop touching each other in one way or another. They might have been playful little slugs in the arm, or a gentle bump of the shoulder, but it was 'contact'. Contact that we couldn't control from the looks of it. I just wanted to hold him, you know? To just walk down the street, and take his hand in mine, and stroll proudly with the best looking boy on the block. And I think Ryan felt it twice as badly as I did. I could see it in his eyes...that restraint, that desire. I think there was something about telling him that we were going to Matt's today that simply made him feel at peace. More comfortable than usual. I know that our quality time has been stretched really thin between us lately, and I think that he truly missed it. Not so much the sexual release...but just being able to lay back and watch tv together, laying my head on his soft stomach, listening to him breathe. It was a sweetened sense of grace, where his beauty was able to exist in its purest form. Nobody watching. Nobody judging. Where a shared kiss between us was JUST a kiss, and not some controversial topic of high school gossip. We just wanted a chance to privately appreciate a few golden moments where 'our' way was considered normal. Unfortunately, those quiet moments were so far and few in between, that it was a struggle to even share a dirty joke between us without having to look over our shoulder first. Yeah, I think we're really gonna appreciate our time together today. And next week...when we get all of Spring Break together...wow! I'm gonna smile all the way through Christmas!
We got to our first class together and Ryan gave me a smile before taking his usual seat behind me. But as soon as we sat down, Hailey got up and walked over to quickly put a folded note on his desk. Then she hurried back to her seat. I turned around to look at Ryan, and I think he was actually scared to open it. Hell, I don't blame him. After all the dirty looks she's given him since their break up...I half expected it to explode. I think Ryan had the same thoughts too, as he carefully unfolded the piece of paper. Almost cringing as he did it. It had to be laced with anthrax at LEAST! But as he read it, I couldn't really define the emotion on his face. He turned around in his seat and nodded at her as he ripped the note into squares. What the heck was that about? I swear, if she's done something to hurt my boyfriend again, I'm gonna walk right up to her after class and punch her right in the eye!
Once the bell rang after class, I met up with Ryan and tried to subtley ask about the note. "So what the hell was that note from Hailey about?" Hey...I said I TRIED to be subtle.
"Oh..." He said quietly. "...She wants to talk about things between us. So I'm supposed to call her tonight." Ryan looked slightly baffled by the idea of it, but it didn't seem to really bother him.
"You're not gonna call her, are you?"
"I dunno. Maybe."
"What FOR???" I asked. "It's gotta be some kinda set up or something. She probably just wants to see if she can find a better way to abuse you since the whole 'guilt trip' thing isn't working."
"Don't worry about it. I just want to make ammends so she'll stop hating me so much. That's all." He said, and I didn't understand his need to even care at this point. But Ryan grinned, and he reached out to grab my hand. "Don't be jealous, sweetie. You've already got me."
I pulled my hand away playfully, "What are you doing? Hehehe, somebody'll see you." I giggled, and Ryan's eyes sparkled. "We'll have time for that later."
"You bet." Then Ryan and I heard some voices from behind us in the hall.
"Homos in the hallway..." Sam and Matt were coming our way, and we greeted them with a smile. "...What's all this holding hands crap? You guys turning sensitive on us, or what?"
"It's called affection. You might wanna try it some time when you're not naked and sweating." Ryan smirked.
"Where's the fun in that?" Matt shoved a few papers in his bag, and then asked us, "So are we still on for later?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world. We're all set."
"Cool. Well, Sam and I might be catching a ride with somebody, so just meet us there whenever you can."
"Trust me, we'll be right over after the final bell." I told him.
"We can grab some sub sandwiches or something on the way if you guys wanna..." And Matt stopped in the middle of his sentence. His eyes looked at something over my shoulder, and I turned back to check it out.
It was Tyler, walking towards us in the hallway. I called out to him, hoping to finally find out what happened with him and Ariel. "Hey, Ty!" I motioned for him to join us, but when he looked up and saw Matt and Sam standing with us, he facial expression changed.
"You know what? I can't talk now. I've gotta...get to class early." He said, and hurried past us with his eyes down, barely even acknowledging us at all.
Ryan called out, "Tyler...we just wanna what happened with..."
"Not now...maybe later. See ya." He passed us up and kept walking. Rather quickly, I might add.
"I'm sorry." Matt said softly. "For a minute there, I kinda forgot that we were scum."
Sam spoke up, "It's not your fault, Matt. You didn't do anything. I did it. Look, do you want me to talk to him?"
"No...you'll just make it worse." Matt answered. They both really seemed down about it. But I don't think Tyler actually 'hates' them...he's just hurt too much to really be around them. That's all. I wish I had an answer for this one, but I didn't.
"Tyler just...needs a little bit more time. He's getting better." Ryan added.
"Sure he is." Matt's gaze fell a bit, and he started to walk away. "Anyway...we'll catch you later." Sam shrugged his shoulders, but was quick to follow hiw boyfriend and console him as much as possible. By the time they had reached the end of the hall, Matt was giggling again. I have no idea what kind of magic Sam had worked on his mood, but he seemed to be very skilled in knowing exactly what buttons to push when it came to getting his baby to smile for him. Sigh...it was so lovable to see them together.
"C'mon...I don't wanna be late." Ryan said, and we walked off. As for Tyler, I hope to find out what happened soon. And I knew exacty who to go to for that information. Only two more periods to go.
It was almost lunch time, but I was much more anxious to get to my art class than the cafeteria. And walking in, Ariel was already sloppily digging around in his bag to get his station set up. I immediately went over and sat down beside him, flashing him a super huge grin that he couldn't avoid. He giggled at first, knowing exactly what I was looking for, and a strong blush came to his cheeks as he silently tried to avoid my eyes and stare at his drawing pad.
"Come on, don't make me beg!" I said. "I KNOW you went over there yesterday!" His blush got even deeper, and he couldn't hold back from giggling to himself. His small frame was literally trembling, and he looked like he was going to burst any second. "Omigod...something happened, didn't it?"
Ariel nodded, and then couldn't hold back his sweet laughter another second, bashfully shrugging his shoulders. Then, before the teacher could get into the classroom, Ariel actually reached out to grab my hand. "Ok...come here! I've gotta talk to you!" He smiled, and he stood up, heading for the door and dragging me with him.
"But...where are we going?"
"I dunno! Just not here!" He said. I don't think I've ever seen Ariel so boisterously out of control before. He was literally 'yanking' me out of the classroom, and I had to practically jog just to keep up with him. He looked around for a second, and then he said, "In here!" He pushed open a door and led me into the staircase. He went down halfway and stood on the landing in front of the window as I went down to join him. There were a few stragglers on the stairs, but as the bell was getting ready to ring any second, they were all rushing to get to class. Ariel looked over the side to make sure that the stairs were empty, and then he ran over and gave me a tight...and I mean TIGHT hug around my neck! He jumped up and practically caused us both to come crashing down on the floor.
"WHOAH!!! Ariel, dude...what HAPPENED in that house???" I said, astonished. I saw this wild, wide-eyed look on his face, his smile about ready to leap right off of him in excitement!
"Oh, Randy....I can't even BREATHE right now!" He said, moving back and forth, unable to stand still. "How do you handle this feeling all day long???" We heard the bell ring for classes, and ignored it completely. "It was....it was...omigod, I can't even find a word to DESCRIBE it! Tyler is just SOOOO...." The door opened, and we clammed up until a few girls ran passed us to get to the lower level and get to class.
"Ok, take a breath. Tell me what happened." I said.
"Well, I was kinda scared to go over there at first, you know? But I decided to force myself to go anyway. And I got to his house, and I rang the doorbell. But it was by accident though because I leaned on it, but whatever. ANYWAY..." Ariel was talking a hundred miles a minute, but something about his boyish excitement made every word crystal clear. Now if I could just get him to stop shaing his hands and tapping his feet long enough to tell me the story. "...We were talking, and listening to music, and we watched tv for a while, and I was really SCARED, you know! So so so so sooooo scared that I was gonna screw something up! And then there was this glass that I broke...oh wait, no...BEFORE I broke the glass, there was some other stuff..."
"Ariel...hehehe, dude, we're gonna have to get to class EVENTUALLY, you know?" I told him.
He tried to breathe a bit deeper and shake himself free of all the energetic wiggles playfully surging through him at the moment. "Ok...ok...there was this one time, when we were sitting on his bed...Randy, omigod! So, like...he was blushing. And I'm like, 'Tyler, you're blushing'...sighhh....he's so cute when he blushes. So I guess that *I* started blushing too! And he's like, 'You're blushing, Ariel. Look.' And I'm all like, 'I CAN'T look!' You know...because it's my face!" Ariel rambled on, and I just had to let him tell this story his way. Hehehe, besides, he was having so much fun doing it, I didn't have the heart to stop him. "And then Tyler touches me...reaallllly softly. And he's touching my face, and he's like, 'See? There's some blush here, and here, and here...' and I was sooooo ready for him to kiss me..." The door opened again, and a couple of boys came up the stairs to waltz into class late. We had to be silent again, and they sorta looked at us, but didn't say anything. Then, once they were gone, Ariel picked up where he left off. "Ok...so he got up to answer the phone, and I'm thinking he doesn't want to kiss me. But I guess he was talking to YOU on the phone about something, and then we started watching tv. So he offered me some juice or something, and I like juice, so I'm like 'Sure!' And THEN..." Ariel got overexcited and actually began to almost shout out the details to me. He literally had to contain himself. Little Ariel, who you usually had to half rely on 'lip reading' just to hear him. "...THEN I asked him for a cup, and it was in the cabinet behind me! And I was leaning back against his kitchen counter, and he had to reach over me to get it! Randy...he was sooooo close to me! And he smells really cool!"
"Hehehe, he used the 'cabinet' trick on you?" I snickered. And here I thought that manuever was something Tyler had devised just for me. Hahaha, ah memories.
"Randy...I broke the glass!" He said. "But I was sooo nervous, and he was being sooo sexy, and I couldn't handle it! But when we were cleaning it up...I...." He stopped for a second, staring off into space with a smile.
"I told him I loved him." Ariel grinned. "I mean...I actually told him that I LOVED him!"
"Wow...what did he say???"
"He said he loves me TOO!!!! Randy...." He sniffled, trembling while trying not to explode. "...Tyler Jordan....loves me. ME! He said so! I heard him." He started to breathe in little huffs, and even though he was still smiling, a few watery tears welled up in the corners of his eyes. "He said...he said I was the best thing that's ever happened to him." He sighed, and he had to lean back against the wall to support himself. But as soon as he said, "He loves me. He really loves me. And then....he kissed me." His knees weakened, and he slowly slid down to the floor, a spacey look in his eyes as his face softened into a look of complete bliss.
"Tyler KISSED you???" I asked. Just then, the door opened again, and one of the 3rd floor teachers came walking down the stairs with a cup of coffee.
"You boys get to class. Let's move it." He said, but was too determined to head towards the teacher's lounge to really care about two teenagers talking on the steps. So he kept walking and left the staircase.
"He KISSED you???" I repeated.
"Yeah....he did...twice..." Ariel sighed. "With tongue and everything." He was literally melting into the floor right in front of me. I let him bask in it for a moment or two...and then said the only thing that I could say.
"Congratulations. I'm proud of ya." I offered him a hand to help him up, but he didn't take it. So instead, I scooted over to sit on the floor next to him. A single tear ran down his smooth cheek, and I was filled with such a warm feeling that I nearly got choked up myself. "You're...leaking." I giggled.
"I know." He said, calmly wiping the tear away with the palm of his hand. "It's the third time today." He looked over at me and smiled. "He left his house early this morning to come pick me up at home. And that....that was awesome too." He swooned. "We're gonna make plans to spend some time together once finals are over." Another tear fell from his eye, but he caught it pretty quick.
"Plans, huh?" I said with a wink, and he giggled shyly. Not necessarily avoiding any dirty thoughts on that subject.
"Yeah...I just don't think I can wait that long." He said. "I've never known anybody like him, Randy. I never thought for a second...that I could find someone so...beautiful. He's soooo amazing. It hurts to think about him, you know? And that's all I do....all...day...long." He whispered. Then he turned to me, "Thank you, Randy."
"Me? No, no...no need for all of that..."
"Seriously! I NEVER could have gotten the guts to talk to him if you hadn't helped me..."
"Get outta here..."
"Shut up! Ariel...right now this moment is ALL about you. So enjoy it. K?" I said, and he just smiled sweetly at me, leaning over to lay his head on my shoulder. I didn't move, just let his warmth envelope me as he attempted to stop the waterworks from running. He sniffled a few more times, and it made me smile.
Then, after a few minutes without saying anything, Ariel finally spoke. "We're really late for art class, aren't we?"
I couldn't help but giggle. "Hehehe, extremely late, yes."
"We'd have to go back to class to get our backpacks and stuff."
"Eventually...yeah." I replied, and with a smile, he realized that I was in no rush to spoil his moment. So he sat back and enjoyed it for a bit longer.
"K." He whispered, and we pretty much didn't get back to class until ten minutes before it was over. But Ariel was too in love to care. About ANYTHING. I know the feeling. And Ryan and I have maintained that sensation from the very first day we met. But that FIRST time? Wow...that first time that you tell someone that you truly love them...and they say it back to you...it's a MONSTER of an emotional rush! It nearly knocks you over every second of the day, and your whole body just feels like its charged with electricity twenty four hours a day. Everything tickles and tingles and the entire planet just looks ten times brighter than you remember it.
Yes, I remember the feeling well. And if that is what Ariel is feeling right now...then God help him until he gets his next kiss from Tyler. Hehehe! Because every second is going to seem like an eternity until then.
Enjoy it, Ariel. It's beautiful, isn't it?