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I know that Tyler can be rather emotional at times. I know that his heart can be somewhat fragile but he's willing to go that extra mile to go chasing after the boy he loves when he really wants to. I've seen it happen first hand, so I can always see the 'drive' in him when it really gets revved up and starts heading in the right direction. This time? Um...I don't think I've ever seen this particular slump in his shoulders before. This was something new. Something that I don't really think I have the words to describe in a way that would really make sense to anybody else.
It was sad, but not hopeless. Confused. Maybe even remorseful. But not totally miserable. Ryan and I both took a few peeks at one another while we waited for Tyler to give us a clue as to what it was that was bothering him so much. I mean, what could Ariel possibly have asked him to worry him this way? They were both SO immeasurably happy before Tyler came to sit on the edge of my bed. Seriously...what happened?
I sat up, a few pillows behind my back to prop me upright, and Ryan gave Tyler a strange look, asking, "What's wrong? Ty, talk to us?"
With his fingers fidgeting a bit, Tyler said, "I saw Sam and Matt at the carnival yesterday before Ariel and I left for the bus." He squirmed for a few seconds more, and then said, "Ariel talked to them. I mean...like, he actually talked to them! You know?"
Ariel's talked to Sam and Matt before in the past. Not enough to be much more than familiar faces in the halls, but...I know they've talked. I asked him, "Was it...I mean, like did he think that it was super awkward that you guys had a bit of a history together?"
Tyler covered his eyes with both hands and leaned forward. The extended pause told me everything that I needed to know, that little light bulb brightening up in my head as he slowly brushed his blond hair back with a sigh.
Ryan was the only one to say it out loud. "Ariel doesn't know that you three were...intimate at one time, does he?"
Tyler quietly moaned, "What am I going to do? I mean...looking back on things now, I know that whole situation was a mess, but it's a little late for me to just expect that it'll go away like it never happened. You know?" Tyler gave us this really distressed expression, and he said, "I never told him about it because it never came up. Why should it? I was completely focused on Ariel. I feel in LOVE with Ariel. I was hoping that the Matt and Sam fiasco was just some screwed up part of my past that I could move on from."
I said, "Well...you did kinda move on from it, didn't you? I mean, I know that it's still kind of an ordeal to talk to them in the halls sometimes, but that's to be expected. Right?"
Ryan backed me up by saying, "Totally! Ty, you guys had some sex, and it didn't work out the way any of you expected it to. So...it's over and done with. It was over before you were even properly introduced to Ariel for the first time, so it's not like you were cheating on him or anything."
Tyler whimpered, "But...but should I tell him about it? I feel so BAD for keeping this a secret from him, you know? I feel, like...'dirty', you know?" Tyler really seemed to be overwhelmed by his emotions. "You guys know how insecure Ariel can be about certain things. He's going to be so HURT! He really thinks that we were meant for each other."
"Who's to say that you're not?" I asked.
He sulked for another few minutes, and he was like, "I probably shouldn't even mention it to him, should I? I mean...he's starting to ask questions about them. And he's not pushing too hard, but he's starting to ask questions now. I'm going to have to say something to him eventually, Randy. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to avoid the question before I'm forced to tell him what I'm SURE he doesn't want to hear!" There weren't any actual tears, but Tyler made a pretty serious 'cry face' regardless. "He's gonna be so HURT, you guys! Am I fucking up if I tell him? Am I fucking up if I DON'T tell him? What do I do?"
There's a part of me that wants to believe that I'm working with a superior mind and can just give Tyler a simple, foolproof, answer that will work out for him with all benefits and no consequences. I wish that I could tell him that things will be ok if only he did this 'one' thing that I randomly thought up in my brain at the spur of the moment and that he had nothing to fret about. But I didn't. Who KNOWS how Ariel is going to take the news that before he came into his life, Tyler was having super hot threesomes with both Sam and Matt to the point where it almost ruined the relationship for all three of them? That's actually a LOT to take in. Not just for innocent little Ariel, but for anybody! I can't just assume that I've got all the easy answers at my fingertips. I'm nowhere NEAR being that arrogant.
However, I did what I could to calm Tyler down. "Look...it's in the past. If you think it's going to really hurt Ariel that much and screw everything up...maybe you should just leave it alone."
But Ryan looked over at me, like, "What? No way. Ty...you should just come forward and be honest with him. Let him know what happened and get it all over with."
"Ryan...dude." I said. "You know how brittle Ariel's feelings can be about this sort of thing. It took him forever to come even this far out of his shell. If he hears that his sweet and lovable Tyler Jordan had been with both Sam AND Matt, he's going to shrink right back into not being able to look either one of them in the eye for the rest of the school year. Tyler included."
"I know it might suck at first, but it's going to hurt much worse if he tries to keep it a secret. Sam and Matt aren't going to vanish off the face of the Earth, Randy. What if Ariel finds out about it some other way? I think it should come from Tyler."
Tyler was clearly distressed, but he was listening. He told us, "I don't ever want to cause that boy a single moment's worth of pain, you guys. For the first time in my life, I truly feel like I'm a part of a miracle. I've never been so complete. I just want things to keep being perfect. I really don't want to break his heart."
Maybe it was some sort of telepathy that passed between us, but Ryan and I looked each other in the eye and came up with a compromise that might actually help Tyler through this little bump in the road. Ryan nodded. I nodded. And then Ryan said, "We think you should be the one to tell Ariel what happened with you guys. In your own words. You know...the truth."
I added, "But NOT right away! Not during Spring Break. Just...spend the rest of this week just letting him know how you feel. And make sure that he knows how much you love him and want things for the best."
"It'll be like...bracing him for it, you know?" Ryan said. "That doesn't mean it's not going to sting a little."
"Yeah, but at least when you tell him that it's behind you and that he's the one you want to be with...he'll have enough confidence in himself to believe in you."
Tyler mulled it over for a second. "Do you really think he'll believe me when I say that I wish I could take it all back?"
"Sure he will. Tyler, I don't think you know just how crazy that boy gets when it comes to you. I know he seems extremely delicate sometimes...but he won't break. Not when it comes to Tyler Jordan." I said.
"Excuse YOU, Randy! He's THE Tyler Jordan!" Ryan grinned.
"Oh right. I forgot the full title. My bad. Hehehe!"
Tyler sighed. "I wish I could say that I feel totally relieved about all this." Then he looked back atme and Ryan under the covers together, side by side, and he says, "I swear, I don't know how you two make everything look so easy. You guys are, like...invincible."
It caused us both to snicker out loud, with Ryan saying, "Oh SURE! Easy!"
"Yeah. We never have any issues at all. Psh...piece of cake." I smirked. But once Ryan saw my smile and leaned over to kiss me on the cheek, I realized that through all of the rough times we've been through and the screwed up arguments we've had...it really was kind of easy. It might have even been worth it...just to bring us to this very moment. Sitting together in the same bed, helping out our best friend, feeling good. Secure. Alive. Problems aren't as impossible as they seem when love is involved. Looking back, I don't think I'd trade in a single 'adventure' that I've had with the irresistible cutie sitting at my right side. Not a single one.
Ryan was like, "You just make sure that you give Ariel the Spring Break of his LIFE this week, and when he's all huffing and puffing and wiping the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand, he'll be so mushy and excited that he won't even care."
Tyler rolled his eyes in the cutest way. "Hehehe, no problem there."
Ryan and I both gasped a little, our jaws dropping. And Ryan said, "I KNEW it! I totally KNEW it! You two sealed the deal, didn't you?"
"Hehehe, that's none of your business..." Tyler blushed.
"Omigod! Look, Randy! They totally did it! I knew Ariel was looking a little wobbly on his legs when I saw him last."
I gave Ryan a little shove. "Leave him alone."
"What? I'm not giving him a hard time. I think that's HOT!"
Tyler was like, "Ryan! Geez! Randy, control your pet."
I giggled, "Well...to be honest, that is pretty hot when you think about it."
I wasn't going to push for details, but with a sly smile, Tyler quietly said, "A lot hotter than you would imagine. Believe me." He was really bashful about admitting that, but proud at the same time. So...penetration confirmed. Wow. Little Ariel has come a long way from barely being able to whisper Tyler's name without crumbling right in front of my eyes.
Ryan happily scooted towards me, his butt bumping me over as well. "Come on, Ty! Get in bed with us and watch some TV or something. Relax your mind."
Tyler said, "Psh, ummmm...no. I don't think so."
"Well, for one thing, I'm pretty sure that you guys are all kinds of naked under those sheets."
"Only one way to find out, cutie pie!" Ryan grinned.
Tyler asked, "Isn't Randy sick? I'm not looking to catch whatever rage virus he's broadcasting over there with every breath. No offense of course."
I faked a really loud cough and used my hands to waft it in his direction while he cringed and got back on his feet to move away from us.
"Hehehe, I'm ok. I think I'm gonna just go back home and let my brain unravel for a little bit. I guess I just needed to talk to somebody about this. Get it off my chest." Tyler said. "Besides, it was climbing into bed with two other boys that got me into this situation in the first place. It's best I stay away from that kind of thing."
Wow...thinking about that...that's really hot too. Sighhhh...
"Suit yourself. But you'll be missing out on a hot time."
"Yeah, I'm sure." Tyler said sarcastically. "But just because I'm laid up with a 102 degree fever, that doesn't mean that I'm having a hot time. I'll see you guys later."
"No you won't." I said. "You go spend time with Ariel and worry about making HIM feel special right now. You can come over and see us later. Right here in our bed. Hehehe!"
Tyler raised an eyebrow. "See us? Our bed? I mean, you guys realize that you're not quite married yet, right?"
I didn't even realize that I was saying it like that. Felt kind of cool. "It's only a matter of time." Ryan said. "Soon, the only thing left to do will be to pay a fee and sign a piece of paper. Hehehe!" He kissed me on the cheek again, and for some odd reason, it just made me squirm with delight to know that he could be so damned adorable without any effort at all.
"If you say so. I'm outta here before you two get all 'Ryan And Randy-ish' with each other." Tyler said.
Ryan hopped out of the bed and said, "I'll walk you out, dude." I didn't even get the chance to open my mouth before Ryan pointed a finger at me and told me, "YOU stay put! I'll be right back." They were gone before I had a chance to protest. Hehehe, Ryan was one of the toughest nurses I've ever known. Even my mom has a point where she gives me some breathing room for the sake of keeping the peace. Hehehe, maybe it's good for me to have someone more stubborn than I am to help me get better. I heard Tyler call out, "Bye, Randy! Get better soon!"
"Bye, Tyler! Thanks!" I called back, and as soon as the door was closed, I could hear Ryan running back to me, taking the stairs two at a time. Then he rushed into my room, and yanked my mom's robe off, tossing it on the floor by the window before swiftly hopping back under the covers with me. He growled and buried his face into the side of my neck, his hardness poking me in the hip as I was suddenly overcome with a series of involuntary wiggles. "Hahaha! What the fuck are you DOING???"
"I'm giving you the Spring Break of a lifetime so I can brace you for the moment when I tell you that I'm totally doing both Tyler and Ariel on the side! Hehehe!"
With a few tickles and inappropriate gropes from his eager hands, I attempted to roll over on my stomach and protect myself. But that only gave Ryan the green light to climb on top of me and start humping my ass wildly as he made loud noises above me. I think his freaky 'mating call' symphony was making me laugh even harder than the relentless kisses and tickling did. "Hahaha, you're CRAZY! What's the matter with you?"
He reached underneath me and felt me getting extremely stiff from all of this, ummm....'activity'. "Uh oh! What's this? What's going on in here? You don't feel very sick to me! Hehehe! Liar!"
We wrestled and flopped around for a minute or two, but eventually I rolled over onto my back again and Ryan grabbed my wrists, pinning me to the mattress as he worked his way between my legs and pressed his hardness against mine. Breathless...our struggling stopped, but our boyish grins remained. Ryan hovered over me for a moment, his eyes connecting to mine. For a brief moment...I stared up into those mood altering eyes of his...and I was taken back to the first time that he kissed me. The first time either one of us had ever kissed anybody before. It boggles the mind to know that it's been this long...and not an ounce of that magic has been lost. He's still my number one fantasy. My dream come true. To doubt such a lovely thing seems like such an unforgivable blasphemy to me.
"I love you. You know that right?" I said, draining what little breath I had left after being so smitten with a boy so amazing.
"You'd better." He said, but as he lowered his head to kiss me on the lips, I turned away. It made him stop, but he didn't seem to aggravated by me setting limits to our affection at the moment. "I don't really believe you're that sick."
"Trust me, dude. I am." I said, but couldn't resist giving his pouty little lips a brief peck anyway. "Tomorrow, k? Or...I don't know...I'm already feeling better. But I also feel kinda gross. I'm so sorry, k...?"
He immediately said, "Shhh shhh shhh. Shut up You just get better so we can get some quality lovin' in before the week is over."
Giggling, I asked him, "How can you even look at me and think about sex right now?"
He said, "I don't know what you see in the mirror every morning, but you're the sweetest piece of boy candy on the table as far as I'm concerned."
"Oh I am NOT! See? Like...I can't believe a word you say now! Hehehe!"
Ryan kissed me on the neck, but I shrugged away from that too. "Alright. I'm gonna behave. But I'm coming over tomorrow morning too. Early! So sleep naked because I don't want to waste any time when I get here."
"You seriously aren't even remotely worried about getting sick aren't you?"
"You're the one who should be worried...about me getting FREAKY! Wooooo!" Hahaha, I LIKE it when he's goofy.
Ryan sucked on my neck for a bit, and we did spend the rest of the afternoon wrapped up so tightly in one another that my excuse of not wanting to get him all infected with my hideous three day virus wasn't much of a reason at all for us to pay more attention to the constant stiffness of our shared erections under those sheets...but there was something about the intimacy we continued to share without the sex that just mesmerized me beyond my need to go any further than a few cuddles and a couple of surprise kisses. Ryan could be really sneaky with those. I was afraid to say anything that took more than a few words for fear that he'd find a split second opportunity to slip his tongue in my mouth. Blecchhh, what the...? Hehehe! DAMN him for being so cute!
We did watch about 3 hours worth of 'Billy Chase' episodes on his USB card though. We kept trying to balance his laptop while he kept finding new ways to cuddle and fondle me in a way that I wasn't expecting. Hehehe, but we found a middle ground where we both decided to behave. "What's with that look on your face?" Ryan giggled.
"Just...Ugh! Billy Chase pisses me off sometimes! He's doing everything so WRONG! FUCK!!!" I grunted.
Ryan said, "Hehehe! Jesus! Chill out." He grinned. "It's a TV show, babe. How extremely boring would this series be if he did everything right and perfect all the time?"
"I know, I know, but...arrrgh! How hard is this? I never fucked up my life this bad, right?" Ryan grinned and kept his mouth shut. "Shut up! I did NOT! Whatever, just...I just think...why can't he, for ONCE, just...?" I didn't even finish before he was kissing me on the lips again. "STOP THAT! Hehehe! These lips are off limits for right now."
"Why??? You're too CUTE to be off limits! I'm, like...addicted to kissing every inch of you as often as possible." He said. Then, out of the blue, he's like, "Let's go somewhere tomorrow."
I'm like, "Somewhere like where?"
He says, "I don't know. Green grass, golden sunlight, warm breezes..."
"Not back to the carnival?" I asked.
"If you want to, we can. If not, we'll go somewhere else. Let's just find an adventure somewhere." Then he kissed me again and asked, "Ask yourself, what would Monkey Blowtorch do?"
"Hahaha! Probably dress up like a tomato, rape a NUN, and set a litter of 2 week old puppies on fire!" I cackled.
"That's a bit extreme for my tastes, but hey...whatever Baby wants, Baby gets!" He said, and we laughed about it all...but I did promise to get out of the house and go do fun stuff tomorrow if I started feeling better. I almost wish I had some more of Ariel's Gramms' special cure-all cabbage and black pepper soup to speed up the process. Just in case I needed that added boost.
The strange thing is...once we got more involved in the TV show, we settled down and stopped fidgeting so much. I mean, I could feel his naked body against me the whole time, his most heated area sliding against my smooth skin. Ryan caressed me tenderly and I couldn't help but to feel totally comfortable in his arms. How is this enough? Hehehe, why am I not devouring every delectable inch of this naked teen beauty in my bed...and yet not be annoyed by my inability to do so at the same time? Maybe love goes beyond the physical after all. Because when I turned to look at Ryan...his eyes still focused on the TV, unaware of how utterly STUNNING he was and how hard I was staring in order to suck it all up without any shame at all...I craned my neck up to kiss him on the cheek and he stopped the playback. "You ok?" He asked.
"Perfect." I sighed.
"Ooh...hehehe, that look is going to get you in trouble, Mister."
Yeah. This is it. Right here in my lover's arms. Awesome.
You know...there was something really familiar about Tyler's worries today that felt 'familiar' but not really in a way that I could pinpoint when he was here. I think I get it now.
Ryan and I have been through some tense times before, but at the heart of it all...it's our trust in one another, and our trust in what we have together, that really allowed us to make it through. That's what makes us 'work', you know? Maybe I should respect that more than the garbage that tries to keep me from doing so. Garbage like Sean's little mind games. Sure, Ryan likes a little attention from a cute boy every now and then, but I can't say that he hasn't gone WAY out of his way to prove that he's loyal to me and to our relationship. He's been a real prince about all this, and Sean can go fuck himself. He's JEALOUS of what we have! He'll do anything he can to ruin it. I don't even think it's intentional. He's just sour over the fact that everything Ryan and I have is so perfect, and he can't stand to see us happy together.
Well, sucks to be him. This is my baby. MWAH! And he always will be! Hehehe! He'll just have to find himself another cutie on the street somewhere.
I began dreading the moments I spent looking at the clock. My mom was going to be home soon. Happy as I was, I knew that ownership of the house was going to transfer back into her hands the moment she stuck a key in that door. So Ryan and Randy's house of pre-marital bliss was about to be wrecked for the rest of the evening. And what made it worse was the fact that I almost wish I had squeezed in some really hot sex today. You know...now that it was too late. Ryan and I had been enjoying our comfort and intimacy enough. It's time for us to get back to being naughty. Hehehe, at least in my mind.
We eventually came to the end credits of a particular episode...and I said, "Babe...?"
"Yeah, I know. Just let me hold for you one more minute. K?" He closed his eyes and held me close, inhaling the scent of my hair. Enjoying the smoothness of my skin. Sharing my elevated body heat. And just as we both started to get hard and crazy for one another again, he kissed my forehead and let me go. I can't tell you how much it hurt my heart to see him cover up that sexy body with clothes again. I think Ryan defeats the whole purpose of clothes in general. "I'm gonna call you later, k? Keep watching the DVDs. I've seen all the episodes already, and Season 4 is coming out soon, so you'd better be up to date. Don't go throwing anything at the TV in rage! Hehehe!"
"I won't." I told him. "But it's not going to be as entertaining without you around."
"I can't imagine that ANYTHING would be more entertaining without ME around, but you'll just have to manage." He said. With a giggle, I pulled the pillow from behind me and tossed it at his head. The silly look on his face, mixed with a tuft of messed up hair, caused us both to laugh out loud before he leaned in to steal another kiss from my lips. "Get better, k?" He said. "Do you want anything from the fridge or something before I go?" I shook my head, and he magically fixed his entire head of strawberry blond hair with a single 'run through' of his hand. How does he do that?
He made me stay in bed as he left, but I had already thrown the covers back and started looking for something to clean myself up by the time he reached the end of the sidewalk, I'm sure. I just started stroking myself so HARD! Hehehe! I was a lot hornier than I thought I was! Yikes! When those warm splashes blasted across my nipples and collar bone, the remaining jets cooling on my heaving stomach, I nearly passed out from the overwhelming release! Oh GAWD, did I need that! I really REALLY needed that!
Ok...catch your breath. Don't go to sleep. This would NOT be an ideal position for my mom to find me in when she comes home. I needed to stay awake.
As I was wiping myself off, I thought that maybe I'd wash up in the bathroom and give Cody a call. I don't know why Cody instantly came to mind, but after all he did to block Sean at the carnival and teach me how to spot his nasty tricks ahead of time...the least I could do is call him and say thanks.
Who knows when I'm going to need his help again?
Jesus...how did I get sperm on my pillow? I really WAS excited, wasn't I?