This story is purely fictional. If you are not over the age of 18 or are opposed to this type of material please Do Not Read It. This story belongs to Green and reproductions without permission are not allowed. Please let me know what you think. Email me Greenmeccatoon@Yahoo.com
In 2003 my friend Jonas began a story that he never finished. He passed away in an unfortunate car accident on the way to my house. He tried writing his story twice. He struggled with the story and never fully realized it. Recently I was given the chance to see his notes on this story and I began to see his vision. A year ago I was approached by someone asking me to finish his story. I was originally opposed to it but as I read his notes I realized that this story deserves to be told.
As a tribute to my friend Jonas I take the helm and I present to you his story as seen through his notes. I will be writing as Jonas the watcher. Without further ado I present to you:
No Matter How Far
The Watcher's Chronicle
Written by Green as Jonas The Watcher.
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next,” Gilda Radner
Where do people find the inspiration, the motivation or the courage to do what they do? When put in certain circumstances some will do things that they would have never done. Some people will do what they must just to survive. Reese tanner will save a life but at what cost. Some times you find that ending when you least expect.
And The Lights Go Off,
I watch him fall into the river, calling out to me as I watch from the bridge. “Reese, Reese help me hurry,” he yells as the river carries him away.
“Reese! Reese!” my mother yells, waking me up from the nightmare. “I need your help hurry!”
“I'm coming ma,” I yell back, wiping the cold sweat from my brow.
I find my mother on the floor next to her bed. “Come Reese, Help me move this,”she says, pulling out a case that holds my father's guns. “I have to look at the gun permits.”
“Mom you woke me up for that?” I ask her.
“No honey, this is important, it's for the will,” she says. It hurts me when she talks about stuff like that. She's obsessed with her death. It scares me and I don't know what to do about it.
My mother is sick. She's not able to take care of herself and I'm the only one that is able to do it. My father left when she told him about the cancer. My sister left with him. Her doctors told me that she had months to live but that was years ago.
“Mom put that away and get back to bed,” I tell her but she's adamant.
“No Reese this is important. These will belong to you when I'm gone,” she says. “The lawyer is coming today and he needs to see the permits.”
“Alright mom, Mrs Della can help you with that later,” I tell her, pushing the case back under her bed.
“Alright Reese, but this is for you,” she says.
“Alright Mom,” I say kissing her cheek. “I'm going back to bed.”
“No not to day Reese, you have a test today and let's not mention that you have practice tonight!” she yells as I drop on my bed.
“Alright ma give me a half hour!” I yell back, putting my head under the pillow.
“Reese!” she yells one more time.
“I'm up!” I yell back, leaving my comfortable bed.
“Smile,” she says when I leave my room. “I hate it when you frown.”
“Why, when I have another season of football hell to look towards.?”
“Reese I told you not to do it if you don't want to,” she says as I leave for school. “And Reese I love you.”
“I love you to ma.” I give her a hug and then head for my car.
I notice a police cruiser waiting at the end of the street as I pull out of my driveway. I notice my mom motion it closer.
I used to believe that I was strong. That no one could take away my spirit but every day I feel like something is taking away my strength and it's pulling my spirit away from me. I feel like I'm suffocating myself. I don't want it to be like this.
All I want is for someone to actually look at me and take the time know me. The last person to do that was Jason, but that was a long time ago. He committed suicide, jumping off the bridge as I watched. It's an image forever implanted on my mind. I didn't do anything, I didn't cry, I didn't go to his funeral and I never told anyone about us. My own horrible secret.
They never found his body and in some way that gives me hope. I know it's stupid but sometimes I wonder if he's out there living a different life. Maybe he is happy and he still remembers me. Maybe he remembers me as the reason he jumped.
I want to tell his family what happened. I want them to know why he jumped. I want them to have someone to blame.
“Can you tell me why he jumped?” asks the watcher.
He jumped because he wanted us to be together and I said no. I was so afraid of telling anyone I was gay that I retreated further into the closet. When I realized that I was falling in love with Jason I distanced myself from him. I ignored every attempt he took to reach me. I met new people and ignored his attempts to talk to me.
He came to my house wanting to talk. I just closed the door on him. It hurt just to see him. He called me one last time. My answering machine picked it up. He said he was going to jump if I didn't pick up, so I ran out of my house towards the bridge. I stopped when I saw his brother Matthew on the other side. Matthew never saw me.
I drive through the bridge every morning on my way to school. Every time I drive through it I remember that moment. I can almost see Jason Jump and his brother fall to his knees, crying.
Sometimes I think that I see him but it's just my imagination playing tricks on me. It's not him Reese, I tell myself every time I think I see him. I thought that it might help me deal but it never works. I'll see him walking by me once again and my heart breaks in two.
I feel like am running from everyone and everything. I pretend that I don't care, but I do care, I care a lot. I'm known as the goofy kid, the class clown but nobody sees the real me and that's because I don't let them see me. I don't know how it got like this.
“What about your friends?” asks the watcher.
My friends? Well sometimes I wonder if my friends are real friends, because I am not a real friend. I act like a friend should act, I partake in everything they do, I pretend to be there for them but deep inside I hate all of the people that see me as a friend. They don't know me and I don't think that they really want to.
“Have you given them the chance to see the real you,” asks the Watcher.
No and I don't know if I can. Especially when I imagine myself strangling someone like Ian Lewis every time he starts talking to me. He is one of those people that on the surface looks very interesting but inside is boring and shallow and I don't want to deal with that.
“Dad is going to ring my ass today, I missed practice yesterday,” Ian says to me.
“Well, what do you expect? You missed the homecoming practice,” I say to him, but he just shrugs it off.
“It's not like I don't know what I'm doing,” he brags and I roll my eyes. The last time he missed a practice, Coach lewis made him run fifty laps on top of the regular practice. He should be expecting much more this time around.
“Turn to page thirteen, read chapter one and answer the review questions on page sixteen,” says the teacher.
A minute later I find myself looking around the classroom. Someone in the front catches my attention. It's this small skinny boy, Robert. Every body always picks on him and he just retracts into himself and takes it. How can anyone live like that?
“I feel bad for him,” I tell Ian.
“For who,” Ian asks.
“For that kid,” I say, pointing to Robert Brady. “Why do you guys pick on him?”
“Who Robert Brady?” he asks and I nod. “We don't pick on him, we just put him in his place.”
“The poor kid hasn't gone home without a black eye for months, and you call that putting him in his place?” I yell. “No one deserves that.”
“Dude what crawled out of your ass?”
“Nothing, look just get back to your work.” Ian shrugs and opens his book.
I am introduced to another drone, I mean the new quarterback, by Ian. “Hi Tony. So your the new quarterback everybody's been bragging about?” I ask and he smiles.
“I hope not too much,” He answers. It occurs to me that Tony is extremely good looking almost too good looking and Ian is drooling over him.
“Are you jealous?” asks the watcher.
No I am in a relationship. One that I wouldn't exactly call legal, but it's real and I wish that I didn't have to hide it. I want to share our relationship with the world.
“And who is this other person?”
The man who is teaching me, Mr. Davis.
Yes Mr. Davis and I. We have been dating for a while, no one nows about us though. We don't even acknowledge each other during the school day. We only see each other at night when my mother is asleep. I sneak down to his house. He lives a few houses down from me.
“Miss Brady, how nice of you to join us. Will this be a weekly thing or are we to expect you every day,” says Mr. Davis. We all laugh. I notice that Tony isn't laughing.
“Well Mr. Davis, like the teenage boys you keep, I am being forced to be here,” Elizabeth answers.
I feel my stomach churn. Mr. Davis looks at me for a second. I know he thinks that I said something but I just shake my head.
“Miss Brady please leave my classroom!” commands Mr. Davis. “Go now!”
They take Mr. Davis away. He looks at me from the back of the cruiser. “I didn't say anything,” I mouth. He glares at me as the cruiser pulls away.
“Can I speak with you,” Ms. Dewey asks. I nod and she takes me into her office. “Reese how is your mother?”
“She's alright. Not better but she's not bad either.”
“Good,” she says and motions me to sit in a seat. “Reese we have a problem.”
“Well we have reason to believe that you, well that you have been having a relationship with Mr. Davis.”
I feel like the floor has just been taken from me and I'm falling into a dark black void. “Ms. Dewey, I haven't.”
“Reese you don't have to say anything. You'll be eighteen in a week right?” I nod. “Well the school wont tell anyone about you and him except for the police but they wont release your name. The problem is that Mr. Davis has been caught with a tremendous amount of underage pornography. We need to know if you.”
“No I didn't know about any of this. I swear he and I didn't go that far,” I try to tell her but she puts a hand on my mouth. Several students walk by her door. She closes it and picks up her phone.
“Yeah I have him here can you please do this quick. I want him out of here before the news vans arrive,” she says into her phone.
“How do you know about us?” I ask. She looks like she is contemplating her answer.
“I'm not the one to tell you that Reese. You might want to speak with your mother tonight,” She says as two detectives walk in.
My head is swimming. They have pictures of me in having sex with Mr. Davis. My mother pressed charges and my whole life is over. “Son your principal asked us to keep this quiet. We are going to do our best to keep you out of this but your mother did press the charges. We need to know if someone else you know is a part of this. Will you tell us?” The detective asks.
I put my head in my hands, wishing for all of it to go away. He lied to me. He told me that he loved me all so that he could use me and my body. I feel dirty. A dirt that I can never remove.
“Son we need to know if somebody else is involved,” the detective says, holding my hand. As he says this another man walks into the room.
“Davis I need to speak with you for a moment outside please,” The detectives walk outside of the room. “We have another kid, Ian Lewis,” he whispers.
My heart stops. Ian too, I can't believe it.
My mother is waiting for me with Mrs. Della outside of the school. “Reese I'm so sorry,” she says. I walk right past her towards Mrs. Della.
“Mrs. Della can you please take my mother home,” she nods and then she hugs me.
“She really is sorry,” Mrs. Della whispers in my ear. “She did the best thing for you son.”
“I know I just don't know how to face her right now,” I whisper back.
She pats my back and grabs my mother's hand, taking her back to the car. I can feel my mother looking at me. The guilt and shame is washing over me as I tensely walk towards my car. I can never face my mother again. I break down as soon as I get into my car.
I feel the calmest when I drive. I feel like I am finally in control of my life when I do that. Nothing can compare to that. Right now I am contemplating ending it all. All it would take is for me to slam this car into something.
“Do you think that suicide is a good Idea?” asks the Watcher.
No I'll never think that. My mother means too much for me to ever do that. I can't leave her now when she needs me. Even if I am ashamed of myself. I want to be there for her when she needs me. I wish I hadn't done what I did it probably broke her inside.
There is someone standing on the edge the bridges' railing. I pull my car close and I quickly run out towards him. “Look you don't have to do this!” I yell. The boy looks at me. I notice the blood on his shirt and the tears coming from his eyes.
“Leave me alone,” he says.
“Please don't do this,” I tell him, slowly edging myself closer.
“Why, it's the only way it will stop?” he says.
“Nothing is worth this, trust me.”
“You don't know that. My life sucks,” he says.
“So does mine, Please step of the railing.” He hesitates, I take the chance and I reach out to his leg. I pull him back. “Are you alright Jason!” I yell.
“Yeah but that hurt,” he says. “And why are you calling me Jason?”
I pull him away from the railing towards my car. I give him a hug. “Jason I'm sorry,” I say to Robert, pulling his head onto my shoulder.
“My name isn't Jason,” Robert says. “Are you some type of weirdo freak?”
It all hits me at once, I called him Jason. For a moment I thought he was Jason. I pull away from him. “I'm sorry Robert, I didn't mean to call you that. You just reminded me of some one.”
Robert looks at me with a horrified look. “Dude look thanks for pulling me back I don't know what I was thinking. I'm just going to go home.”
“Do you need a ride somewhere. I can take you home or where ever,” I offer.
He looks at me for a long time looking for a reason to say no. “Sure I live by the reservoir, 212 Ayer street,” he says, I motion towards my car.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Depends on the question,” he says.
“What is so bad that it makes you want to end your life?” I ask and he looks away almost like he is hiding something hurtful.
“I'll answer that if you tell me who Jason is,” Robert says.
I tell him about Jason. I realize that Robert is the first person that I'm completely honest with. I tell him everything with out restraining myself and he listens quietly as I unfold everything I've kept hidden from everyone I knew.
At some point Robert falls asleep. I drive in silence towards the reservoir in the north part of Little River. This part of town is very run down. It has dilapidating buildings and old houses that have missing windows. Ayer Street is not any different. I find his house at the end of a dead end street. There is a middle aged couple outside arguing throwing stuff at each other.
Robert never told me why he wanted to kill himself but I suspect that it has something to do with the people arguing. I can't leave him here like this. I turn my car around and I drive towards my home.
My mother hugs me as soon as I walk into the house. “Reese, I'm sorry but I had to do this. That man is a predator, I couldn't let him get away with this.”
“Mom please,” I say, trying to leave but she pulls me to her. “Mom can we please do this later? I have someone outside in the car and I think that he needs help. Can he stay here for tonight? We can get him some help in the morning.”
“Sure, I'll ask Mrs Della to fix up the spare room,” My mother says. “Reese, we'll talk right?”
“Yeah mom let me take care of this first.”
“He's in bed mom,” I tell her as I walk into her room. Mrs. Della places a pillow behind her head. “Mrs. Della please go home you've done enough. Thank you for every thing.” I give Mrs. Della a hug.
“Yes thank you Maria, you've been a great help,” my mother adds.
“Alright you two, I'll see you tomorrow morning. Anna don't forget you have that appointment tomorrow morning,” Mrs. Della says to my mother and smiles at me before leaving the room. As soon as she does I hug her and tears come from my eyes.
Sometimes in silence all that needs to be said will be said. All that it takes is a hug and an immense understanding of the person you are hugging. This hug that I share with my mother is just like that. My mother understands me more than I'd like to give her credit for.
“Alright mom,” I say breaking the embrace. “I'm going to my room.”
She smiles, squeezing my hand. “Are you okay?” she asks.
“Yeah I'm okay, love you mom.”
I like to stay up late sometimes and I walk to the rivers edge behind my house. I can see the moon shine over the bridge and reflect itself on the river. I sit at the edge of the dock my father built before he left. It reminds me of the good times we used to have.
My father and my mother seemed so in love back then. He would hug and kiss her when he thought we weren't watching and he'd take us fishing in the river. I smile, remembering the time he got pulled into the water.
“Hey,” Robert says, breaking me away from my memory.
“Hey slept alright?”
“Yes thank you,” he says, sitting next to me. “I woke up to use your bathroom and I saw you come out here. I wanted to thank you for tonight.”
“I'm glad to help Robert.”
“No Reese you saved my life tonight. No one that I know would care that much,” He says. “I want to thank you for that and for not leaving me at home. My dad just got back and he....”
I watch him retreat into himself with a far away look. “It's alright Robert you don't have to tell me,” I tell him.
“No I want to tell you. I need to tell someone. The kids at school hit me because I wont do stuff with them. My dad, he hits me when he sees the bruises,” he whispers almost to himself. “Today they hit me because they thought I told the cops about Mr. Davis.”
“Who's they?” I ask.
He looks at me for a long time. “They never let me see them, I closed my eyes when they started hitting me. They left me there bleeding on the bathroom floor. One by one people came into the bathroom and only one person helped me. I don't know his name.”
What he tells me makes me furious. I know who did it and in some way I feel responsible. I always wondered why he didn't do anything about it but it never occurred to me that he might just need someone to be a friend. To stop them from doing that to him. I am going to be that person.
“I'll go talk to him alright,” I say to Robert as Ian walks into the schools. I look at him straight in the eye as I push Robert Behind me. I start to walk towards him but I stop when I see Jason's Brother, Matthew walking with him.
Then my breath is taken away when I see Ian run away from us, pulling Matthew with him towards the front doors. “Run Matthew,” Ian yells as two gunshots take Matthew and Ian down. I turn to see Robert holding a gun aimed at me.
“I'm sorry, I found it in your house,” he says and shoots me with my father's gun. “You are my only friend.”
“Thank you Reese,” says the watcher. “Please sit down. Mr. Lewis it's your turn.”