Not Always Easy

By Kit

This story is a revised version of Not Always Easy, the original of which was posted to the Nifty Archive a couple of years ago.  

This is a story about a gay teen male and may involve sexual activity between males, so if this is likely to offend you, or is illegal where you live then do not read any further.  All the events and characters in this story are fictional and any resemblances to real people are purely coincidental.

The story is copyright of the author and may not be distributed or placed on any web sites without written permission from the author.

I would like to thank my editor, Richard Lyon, for his hard work and encouragement and also Richie Ryan for his moral support.  Any remaining errors are purely my own fault.  

If you enjoy this story then you might like to take a look at my (quite different) second story, 'Tapping', which is currently also in the gay/highschool section of the Nifty Archive.

If you like this story or have any comments about it, please feel free to send me an email .   I will respond to all emails except flames.


Chapter 6  -  Preserving Friendship


When I woke up I was lying on my back and my mind was being flooded by a deluge of sensations.  The most noticeable and pleasurable of these sensations were the feelings emanated from my cock.  Normally it takes me a long time to become fully awake in the morning and the waking process usually requires at least one mug of tea, but that particular morning was an exception.  The pleasurable physical stimulation bypassed the need for the chemical stimulation normally provided by my morning beverage.

As my consciousness returned I found that a hand was slowly rubbing my erect penis and the movement of my foreskin over the head of my cock was sending waves of pleasure to my brain.  Furthermore I quickly realised that the hand producing these feelings was not my own.  Next, I became aware that a hard tubular object was rubbing against my left thigh and that there was a weight on the lower half of my chest.  Opening my eyes and looking downward I could see ginger hair covering the top of a head which was resting on my chest.

"Mornin' Robbie," I mumbled.

"Mornin' sleepyhead," Robbie responded without moving his head.  It seemed that he was studying my penis with great interest.  I could feel his throat vibrate slightly over my stomach when he continued speaking.

"Did I mention last night that you have a gorgeous dick?"

"Don't think so... can't remember..."

"Well, I was a bit distracted last night," he said, "so I'll tell ya now... you've got a gorgeous dick."

I smiled and could feel a blush spread across my cheeks.  Then he started humping his cock against my thigh, and it felt so wet and slippery that I guessed he'd been leaking quite a lot of pre-cum.

"Having fun?" I asked.

"Yeah, are you?"

"Mmmm.  How long have ya been molesting me?"

"Ohhh... just a few minutes.  It was fun watching it go from soft to hard."

No more was said for awhile and the only sounds were the slapping of my foreskin  and the slight squeak of bedsprings produced by Rob's humping motion.  Luxuriating in the sensations he was producing in my cock, I reached down and began stroking his head and running my fingers through his hair.  Lying on his right side, he was able to use only his left hand on my penis, and as he was right-handed the pace was slow.  Two or three times I approached orgasm, but didn't quite get there.  Rob probably noticed this because he then moved and sat Indian-style, facing me.  I opened my eyes again and saw his wide mischievous  smile as he moved his gaze up and down my body.  His cock was stiff and the head, half-covered by his foreskin, bounced off his stomach as he moved.

"Don't stop!" I said in a hoarse whisper.

Rob returned to his task, but this time his right hand stroked my cock while his left hand massaged my balls and stroked the skin between my scrotum and my anus.  I shivered with pleasure and moved my legs apart slightly to give him easier access to that sensitive area.  By now I was fully awake, and with my head propped on my pillow I could see his hand on my cock.  This sight, combined with the increased speed of his stroking quickly pushed me over the edge and several jets of cum left trails between my chin and my pubes.  I had to clamp my mouth shut in order to avoid voicing my pleasure.

As my muscles relaxed and I bathed in the afterglow of my orgasm, Rob lay on top of me and began kissing me lightly all over my face.  When he licked my eyebrows it tickled so much that I couldn't suppress a giggle.  Then he started humping against me, his hard cock, made slippery by my cum and his pre-cum, rubbing against my own softening organ.  He stopped kissing my face and raised himself slightly on his arms so that he could look down into my eyes, but he didn't stop grinding his cock into mine.  I lost myself in his beautiful green-blue eyes and I think that under different circumstances the grins on our faces would have looked pretty silly.

My cum made the area between our stomachs very slippery, and his humping movements began to slide his cock from my pubes almost up to my ribs.  His movements speeded up, and as his orgasm began he plunged his mouth onto mine and his tongue invaded my mouth.  He groaned into my mouth as his semen squirted out to mix with my own between our two bodies, then his head collapsed next to mine on the pillow and his chin nestled on my right shoulder.  We stayed like that for a few minutes with me gently stroking his back, then the stickiness between our bodies became uncomfortable for both of us and he rolled off me.  I reached for the bedside tissues and proceeded to wipe us both down while Rob, with a quiet smile and sparkling eyes, lay staring at the ceiling.  When I lay down on my back next to him, taking his left hand in my right hand and squeezing, he turned on his side to look at me, gave me a long deep kiss, then pulled back to look into my eyes.

"I'm glad you were my first," he said, "You're the kindest, gentlest person I know... and you're also very sexy!"

He gave a wicked smile and his right hand began to play with my semi-hard cock.

"What about Ben?" I joked.

"Doesn't count.  I didn't cum with him and we didn't even get naked."

I wanted to tell him that I thought I was falling in love with him, but I was afraid of scaring him off.  Glancing at the bedside clock I saw it was after 10 am and realised that Mum and Dad would have gone to work ages ago.  John was almost certainly out of bed by now, but I couldn't hear any sounds in the house, so I thought he had probably gone out.  I felt very sweaty and sticky and much in need of a shower.

"I need a shower before breakfast, how about you?" I asked, and when he nodded I added, "D'you wanna go first?"

"Why not both together?" he asked, giving me a another wicked grin..

 "Mmmmm... sounds like fun!" I said, "I'll just check that the coast is clear."

Apart from showers in school and at various swimming pools, I'd never showered with anyone else before, and the idea made me stiff again.

As soon as we both got inside the bathroom I locked the door and removed my dressing gown.  Rob gave me a big hug from behind, and I could feel his cock, which had regained its erection, prodding my ass cheeks.  As soon as I got in the shower, Rob squeezed in behind me so that most of our bodies were in contact with one another.  Actually, the shower wasn'tt very big, so we couldn't have avoided intimacy even if we wanted to do so.  We rubbed shower gel over one another, and I found the feeling was extremely erotic, especially as it gave us an excuse to explore one another even more intimately than we had before.  We hugged and rubbed our soapy cocks together and when I rubbed my soapy hand in his crack and over his anal opening Rob jumped and squealed with pleasure.

We spent some time wanking one another with soapy hands, but it was just gentle play and I don't think either of us had any intention on going all the way to orgasm.  After drying off, we wrapped towels round our waists and returned to my bedroom.  As I began to hunt out clean clothes for myself I asked Rob if he wanted to borrow any of my clothes rather than put on the clothes he'd worn the previous night.

"No thanks, I got some clean clothes here," he said as he emptied one of the shopping bags he'd brought with him.

"You had this all planned, then?" I asked with a smile.

"Well, I believe in being prepared... I fancy you and I got the impression you might fancy me.  And we get on well.  So I thought there was a good chance that I would get lucky and have my first sexual experience with you... my best friend."

"And... ermmm... how do you feel about me now?" I asked, deciding to take a chance and maybe expose my feelings about him.

"Feel?  Not sure what you mean," he said, smiling shyly and looking slightly embarrassed, "I really like you and feel very close to you... and you've become very important to me."

That answer could be interpreted in different ways and was not quite what I was hoping for, so I thought the best thing to do was to get straight to the point.

"I love you," I said.

As Rob sat on the bed, pulling on a pair of jeans, several expressions crossed his face, mainly confusion, discomfort and concern.

"I love you as a friend," he said eventually.

My heart sank and I cursed myself for being so open about my feelings.  When he saw my reaction he frowned and spoke again.

 "Do you... do you mean you love me in a different way?"

"Of course I love you as a friend as well, and I'm also falling in love with you.  But I gather you don't feel the same?"

"I've never been in love... just a few crushes," he said, side-stepping my question, "Once I thought I was falling in love with Ben, but now I think it was just infatuation... Look, I'm sorry if I'm hurting your feelings!"

He looked as miserable as I felt and we both just stared at the carpet for a while.

"No, I'm glad that you're being honest.  I appreciate that a lot," I said, though I'm not sure I really meant it.

My emotions were confused, and several emotions in succession rose to the surface and then sank again, to be replaced by others.  As I tried to sort out my feelings, we both continued to get dressed.

Obviously I was disappointed that he didn't feel the same as I did about our relationship.  I felt rejected and the anger I felt shocked me because I knew it wasn't justified.  He'd never pretended to be in love with me and he'd not tricked me or pressured me into a sexual interaction.  I'd been just as much in control of the situation as he had been.  Despite that, I was hurt and to my shame my first reaction was that I wanted to hurt him back, but I clamped my jaw shut and refused to say any of the nasty things that just popped into my mind.  Eventually I felt sufficiently under control to speak reasonably.

"Do you think you could ever fall in love with me... if we got to know one another better?" I asked, a slight tremble in my voice.

When Rob looked up there were tears in his eyes but he wasn't actually crying.

"Honestly?  I don't know," he said, "Could I get to know you much better than I do already?  I don't know if my feelings will change in the future... but I do know I love you as my best friend and I want us to stay friends.  I'm sorry if I messed things up... and I'll do anything to keep you as a friend."


Rob re-packed his shopping bags and we went downstairs to the kitchen, where I was surprised to find that John was already there, warming some soup in the microwave.  When John turned to greet us both he didn't seem in the least surprised to see that Rob was with me.

"Been in long?" I asked John.

 "In?  I've not been out... the weather was gloomy so I stayed in reading and watching some TV."

"Oh," I said.

Unless the weather was quite bad John usually preferred going out rather than staying in, and he rarely did much reading unless it was part of his school work.

"What time did you get up this morning?" I asked.

"With Mum and Dad.  They told me Rob was staying over.  Fancy some soup and bread?  I can easily warm up some more soup."

"Yes, please," I said.

"What sort of soup is it?" asked Rob.

"Thai chicken," John replied, showing us the can.

"That'd be great, thanks," Rob said, "As long as it's not mushroom.  I hate mushroom soup!"

John added another large can of soup into the microwave bowl and set it to heat up while he sliced some more bread.

"You two have a nice shower?" John asked, without turning round from his task.

Rob and I looked at one another and we both blushed.

"And I guess you had a really bad dream last night, Paul, cos I'm sure I heard you scream," John continued, still with his back to us, "I hope you didn't disturb Rob's sleep."

I could see John's shoulders shaking and could tell that he was trying to suppress his laughter.  He was clearly having great fun trying to embarrass Rob and me, but neither of us responded to his obvious teasing, and to change the subject we just started talking about Rob's impending exams.  While John was putting bread and bowls on the table, Rob mentioned that he was having problems with calculus and parts of his chemistry course, and that he'd need to improve them both to get into the Sixth Form next year.

"Paul's good at all that stuff," John told Rob, "He's always helping me out and he's pretty good at explaining things... maybe he'll give you a hand."

John put a slight emphasis on the word 'hand' and winked at me.  I wasn't sure whether to laugh or yell at him, so I just forced myself to keep a neutral expression on my face.

"Would you?  Help me out with studying?" Rob asked, giving me a shy smile.

"Yeah, I'm sure we can arrange something," I replied.

The lack of enthusiasm in my voice was unintentional, but Rob's smile vanished, so he must have detected it.

"You have your little brother well trained," Rob said, attempting to change the subject, "I wish I could get my sister to be so domesticated!"

"Hey!" John said before I could respond, "It's only cos we have a guest and I was doing it anyway or he'd be getting his own lunch!"

Just as we were clearing the table after lunch, there was a knock on the back door and Mike, as he often did, just walked in. 

"Hi guys!  I just came over to see what you had planned for today," Mike beamed, then grinning at Rob he added, "I see you've got a guest.  Isn't someone going to introduce us?"

After I did the introductions, John added a little information.

"Mike is Paul's best friend," he said.

As far as I could tell there was no particular reason for him to say that, but it caused Rob to give me a slightly sad look, which in turn made me feel guilty.  Everything seemed to be just beyond my understanding.  Why did John add a comment about Mike being my best friend?  Why did Rob look sad about it?  Why did I feel guilty?

"Ah!" Mike said, looking from Rob to me and back again, "So you're the famous Rob we've heard so much about!"

"Er.. I guess so..." Rob muttered, then he looked up at me and added, "Well, maybe I'll find out sometime what you heard, but now I'd better get home and do some studying."

"Okay, I'll give you a ride," I said.

"How about I come along too and we can go straight into town from there?" Mike suggested, "I wanted to look round the shops today.  Maybe John wants to come too?"

Mike looked at John and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, that'd be great!  I've nothing better to do," John said.

"Right, then," I said, "let's get this show on the road!"


During the drive to Rob's house I hardly said a word, and most of the time Mike, in the back of the car with John, was pumping Rob for information about himself, but for the most part Rob kept his answers as short as possible.  When we dropped him off he seemed very subdued and relieved to get out of the car.  Rob's only words as he got out were a polite thanks to me and a general goodbye to us all.  While I watched Rob walk to his front door and get out his keys, John and Mike were arguing about which of them should sit up front.  Suddenly I felt that I should do something and just sitting there in silence was not a good option, so without giving it any real thought, I wound down my window.

"Hey, Robbie!" I called, causing him to turn and look at me, "Call me tonight, okay?"

He smiled and nodded, then waved his hand and went indoors.  Mike and John looked at one another; both of them winked and mouthed the word 'Robbie'.  Then John got out of the back of the car and joined me up front, so presumably they had somehow agreed that he should ride shotgun.

"Well?" both John and Mike chorused as soon as we set off for town. 

"Rob stayed over last night," I said.

 We know that!" Mike said, "So are you boyfriends now?"

"How did you know he stayed over?" I said, looking at Mike.

"John phoned me while you two were in the shower," Mike said in an amused tone.

"What!!" I yelled, feeling a bit exposed and irritated, "Don't I have any secrets?  Don't I even have any privacy?" 

"And how did you know we were both in the shower?" I added, throwing a quick glare at John.

"I didn't think you kept secrets from your brother and your best friend," John answered with a mischievous grin, "I was going to get a video from my room this morning and when I went past the bathroom I could hear you two in there...  you were both giggling and stuff... Oh, and I don't believe for a minute you had a nightmare last night!"

"Nightmare?" Mike said to John, "What's this about a nightmare?"

"Let's just say," John said with a wink, "that the screams from Paul's bedroom last night sounded like the sort of 'nightmare' he enjoyed."

My face glowed red and then my embarrassment was replaced by concern.

"Er... you don't think Mum and Dad heard anything do you?" I asked John.

"Nah... doubt it.  Their room isn't next to yours like mine is."

I breathed a sigh of relief, but was still a little worried.

"Anyway," Mike said, jumping up and down in the back seat, "you never answered my question... are you and Rob boyfriends now?"

"No!" I said bluntly.

John and Mike looked at one another then at me and I could tell they didn't believe me.

"Look ," I added in exasperation, "I'll tell you more later, but not while I'm driving.  When we get to town, okay?"

When we got into town I parked the car on the edge of the town centre where the charges were much cheaper and it was only an extra five minutes walk to the shops.  They refused to get out of the car until I'd explained my earlier cryptic denial, so I told them everything except for the sexual details .

"Aw, that's sad," Mike said, "Rob seems like a nice guy.  Shy and quiet, but nice.  But you did do sex stuff?"

"Yeah, some," I admitted.

"D'ya think you'll do it again?" Mike asked.

"Dunno.  Maybe he won't want to... maybe I don't want to..."

"Why not?" John asked.

"Would you have sex with someone who was just a friend?" I asked John.

"Might do... if it was a girl!" John grinned.

"I've messed about with a girl who was just a friend," Mike added.

"But what if one of you might be falling in love and the other wasn't?" I asked.

"Mmm, I see what ya mean," Mike said, while John just looked thoughtful.

"Anyways," I said to Mike after a few moments silence, "I thought you wanted to do some shopping.  What're you looking for?"

"I thought I might look for a little something for Sue."

"Is it her birthday?" John asked.

"No, I just feel like getting something nice for her."

Mike rarely looked embarrassed, but just then he looked pretty close to it.

 "Oooo!" John said, "it must be lurrrrve!" 

Mike playfully tapped the back of John's head with the palm of his hand.

"And," Mike continued, "as I was about to say before I was so rudely interrupted, I'm meeting Sue for coffee later and she said she'd like to meet you guys sometime soon."

"Meet me and John?  Why?" I asked.

"Sheesh, Paul!" Mike said, "for a brainy guy you can sometimes be really thick.  She knows you're my best friend and that you and John are like the brothers I never had.  I told her how your family looked after me when things got bad at home... isn't it natural that  she wants to meet the people who are so close to me?"

"So you and Sue really are serious!" said John, stating the obvious.

"Yeah," Mike replied.


Having nothing better to do, John and I wandered round a seemingly random selection of shops  with Mike.  Then it seemed he began to concentrate his attentions on jewellers.  All the time the three of us chatted about anything that entered our heads and it occurred to me that no matter how close I felt to Rob, even after sexual intimacy, I still felt more at ease and relaxed with my best friend and my brother.

Finally, Mike decided he was going to buy Sue a silver chain with a small heart-shaped medallion, and have it inscribed with their initials.  John and I laughed at the idea of the medallion being inscribed 'S&M' or even 'M&S' so between us we came up with the idea of 'S' on one side and 'M' on the other.  While Mike was inside the shop getting the inscription done, John and I waited outside.

"Ya know," John whispered quietly to me, "when ya told me about... about you... and I said that now I couldn't ask your advice about girls?"

"Yeah," I said, a bit puzzled.

"Well after we talked in the car about friends and sex and stuff, I think I could ask you after all.  I mean, some problems are the same no matter what bits get connected, if ya see what I mean." 

I nodded and smiled, suddenly feeling very proud of my little brother and thinking that he was growing up pretty quickly.

After Mike came out of the jewellers and rejoined us we wandered to the cafe where he'd arranged to meet Sue.  The cafe had a stylish modern design with shiny metal tables and I was glad that Mike and Sue hadn't decided to meet in one of those false 'Olde Worlde Tea Shoppe' type places.  While we waited for Sue, Mike told us he intended giving her the chain and medallion that evening, when he'd arranged to go over to her house.  As that day was Friday I was a little disappointed because it had been a sort of tradition for years  that Mike sleep over at our house on Friday nights.  However, I took care not to show any signs of my disappointment. 

As I sipped my tea I felt a bit nervous about meeting Sue for the first time.  After all, in all important respects apart from blood, Mike was my brother and so I wanted to make a good impression on someone who might be my future sister-in-law!  When she arrived I was quite impressed.  Mike certainly had good taste in girlfriends, and if I'd been so inclined I would probably have found her very attractive.  She was about 5''9", slim, with straight shoulder-length honey-blond hair, pale blue eyes, and a very pleasing smile.  As she entered, Mike stood up and she rushed over to him, giving him a big hug and a kiss on the lips.  Then he introduced us and as soon as she sat down next to him the pair of them held hands.  I thought wistfully that if I ever had a boyfriend it would have been nice if I could have been as open with him in public as Mike and Sue had just been.

When I saw the way Mike looked at Sue it was clear he was totally besotted with her, and a quick glance to my left showed that John was also quite enamoured with her.  From her conversation, it soon became clear that she was intelligent, had definite ideas on most of the topics covered, and she was not shy about expressing her opinions.  Overall I liked her, and for the second time since she'd joined us I thought to myself that Mike had good taste in girlfriends.  When we were ready to leave, Mike and Sue decided to stay in town then go on to her house later, so John and I decided that we'd just go straight home.


On the way home John enthused about Sue's physical and mental attributes until I eventually tried to bring him down to Earth.

"No point in going on about Sue, she's taken.  You ought to look for a girlfriend of your own, cos I don't think Mike wants to share his!" I said.

"Well, I can have my fantasies, can't I?" John responded.

I just smiled and decided to change the subject.

"Just one more week of hols before school..." I started.

"Don't remind me!" John interrupted with a groan.

"And the week  we get back to school is Mike's  birthday," I continued, "so if we're going to get him something we should think about it while we have time to do some shopping."

"Mmm, good thinking, Batman," John joked, "any ideas?"

"Just one, but I'm not sure about it, so I was wondering what you think..."

"Okay, go ahead."

"Well, did ya notice that Mike seemed interested in some silver signet rings as well as the medallion for Sue?" I asked.

"Ermm... can't say I did, really."

"Oh, well... anyway, I noticed it.  I thought he must be interested for himself cos that display just had men's rings.  There were some nice silver rings for about fifty quid, and I wondered about getting him one and having his initials put on it.  What d'ya think?"

"It's a lotta money isn't it?"

"But ya don't think that getting him a ring might be a bit erm... gay?" I asked.

"Alex's mum got him a signet ring at Christmas, so I guess it depends on who gives it.  You're his best friend, so it should be okay from you, but it might be odd if I got him something like that."

"Have you thought what you might get him?"

"Nah, not yet.  Good job ya reminded me.  I'll think about it and let ya know... tell ya what, though, whatever it is can't cost much cos I'm a bit short of cash!"


If I hadn't had so many things on my mind that day I should have expected that the conversation at dinner would involve my parents asking questions about Rob.  However, I hadn't given the matter any thought and so many of their questions caught me unprepared.  What movie did we see?  Did we enjoy it?  What did we do afterwards?  What time did we go to bed?  What time did we get up?  When did he go home?. Why did his parents let him stay out at such short notice? 

The questions and my minimal answers went back and forth with John looking from me to my parents and back again.  Suddenly I had a vision that we were playing a game of table tennis, and I couldn't suppress a smile.

"What's so funny?" Dad asked, looking confused.

My parents are really nice people so I decided to share my amusement with him.  John burst out laughing and as I expected, my parents saw the funny side of the situation.

"Sorry, Paul," Mum said with a smile, "we didn't mean to behave like the Spanish Inquisition.  You know we try to respect your privacy, but your behaviour has been a bit, erm... unusual recently.  Especially since Rob seems to have appeared suddenly out of nowhere..."

"Rob's okay.  He's a friend from school," I interrupted.

"Yeah, Rob's a nice guy!" John said, backing me up.

I gave him a quick glance and a smile to show my appreciation and both my parents gave him a quizzical look.

"I didn't mean to imply there was anything wrong with him," Mum said, "He certainly seemed nice enough when we met him, and you've never given us reason to doubt your judgement about your friends.  It just seemed strange that you never mentioned him before you 'rescued' him a couple of weeks ago.  And you never really explained why exactly he needed 'rescuing'.  We've only met him that one time at breakfast, which is not the usual way we meet our children's friends for the first time, so I hope you can see why we might be a little concerned?"

"Yeah, I understand," I said, "but you may be seeing more of him cos I said I'd help him study for some of his exams."

As soon as I said it I wondered why I told them that.  After all, with the emotional complications I hadn't even decided whether it would be a good idea, and now I'd opened my mouth without thinking.  Again!

"That's nice of you, dear," she said, "I just hope he doesn't take advantage of you, that's all."

"I'm sure he won't, Mum.  He's not like that," I said.

"And, Paul," Dad said, "you do know that if there are any problems you can talk to us... any problems at all.  You do know that, don't you?"

"Yes, dad," I said with a small sigh.

The rest of the evening passed uneventfully and as the previous night with Rob had been rather hectic I was feeling tired, so I decided to have an early night.  Just as I was about to go to bed, my phone rang.

"Hi, Paul."

"Hi, Robbie.  I thought you might have called earlier.  Been busy?"

"No, just thinking.  When you told me to call I wasn't sure if you meant it or were just being polite."

"So you decided I wasn't being polite?" I asked, only half joking.

"Actually I decided that trying to stay friends was worth the risk..."

"What risk?"

"The risk that you'd just tell me to piss off."

"What makes you think I'd do that?" I asked.

"Well, I could see that you were hurt this morning when I said I wasn't in love with you... and I can imagine it can't be easy to be friends with someone who doesn't return your feelings."

"Yeah, well I guess I can get over it, or at least get used to it," I said, "and maybe someday ya could get to like me more..."

"Paul!! I do like you a lot already.  I love you as a friend, but it's just I'm not in love with you!" he said, sounding as if he might be about to cry.

"Look, Robbie, we're both upset now and we need time to think things out.  Let's meet up tomorrow and talk, okay?"


He sounded uncertain, and perhaps he thought I was giving him the brush-off.

"Right, then, I'll phone you tomorrow about lunch time... and Robbie?"


"Whatever happens, I promise that as far as I'm concerned we're gonna stay friends."