By Kit
This story is a revised version of Not Always Easy, the original of which was posted to the Nifty Archive a couple of years ago.
This is a story about a gay teen male and may involve sexual activity
between males, so if this is likely to offend you, or is illegal where you
live then do not read any further. All the events and characters in
this story are fictional and any resemblances to real people are purely coincidental.
The story is copyright of the author and may not be distributed
or placed on any web sites without written permission from the author.
I would like to thank my editor, Richard Lyon, for his hard work
and encouragement and also Richie Ryan for his moral support. Any
remaining errors are purely my own fault.
If you enjoy this story then you might like to take a look at my (quite
different) second story, 'Tapping', which is currently also in the gay/highschool
section of the Nifty Archive.
Chapter 7 - An Acquaintance or a Friend?
What little sleep I had that Friday night wasn't very restful, and I couldn't
relax enough to enjoy my usual Saturday morning lie-in. Around 9.30
am I gave up on sleep and decided to get up, and even after my morning shower
I didn't feel very refreshed. When I went downstairs Mum and Dad were
making final additions to the weekly shopping list while John was chattering
away and making sure they included all his favourite foods. I managed
to smile when Dad told John that if he wanted to make sure nothing was forgotten
then he was welcome to join their shopping expedition. John immediately,
but temporarily, went quiet.
My mood began to lighten when I realised that I was lucky to have a brother
like John. We got on better than most brothers I knew, and he
was the sort of person I'd be happy to have as a friend even if we weren't
brothers. He was loyal, considerate, sensitive, intelligent, dependable,
and fun to be with. I supposed that if I'd been an only child like
Mike, I might have had to do what he did, find someone to 'adopt' as my brother.
By the time my parents had left the house I was beginning to feel almost
awake, and John and I started to discuss Mike's imminent birthday.
"Ya know, I've been thinking about your idea of the ring," John said, "and
I think it would be good."
"Well, it's the best thing I've come up with so far," I said, "Maybe I'll
go looking around some shops this afternoon. Have you had any ideas
yet?"
"Yeah, well, I had an idea that I wanted to run by you and see if you
thought it was too cheesy..."
"You? Cheesy? Never!" I said and laughed, "Go on, then.
What is it?"
"Remember the photo that dad took of me, you and Mike on New Year's Eve?
The one that everyone said was a great shot of the 'Three Musketeers'?"
he said, and I nodded to indicate that I did indeed remember, "Well, I thought
I'd have it enlarged and framed and give it to Mike as a present. I
could just about afford that and it's something personal, ya know?"
"Yeah, that's a great idea!" I said. "I'm sure Mike would appreciate that
a lot. But why d'ya think it might be cheesy?"
"Well, when I thought about the photo it got me thinking of the little chat
we had a couple of weeks ago... ya know, when the three of us went to the
park. And I thought maybe I could put an inscription on the frame...
I thought just two words would describe the picture... " he said, then paused,
looking embarrassed.
"C'mon, spit it out! What two words?" I prompted.
"Friends Forever," John said. "Well, what d'ya think? Too cheesy?"
"Nah! It's really great. In fact it's such a good idea I wonder...
would you mind if I borrowed the idea and had the same two words inscribed
on the inside of the ring?"
"Inside the ring? Is that possible?"
"Yeah, I think so, if it's small writing. I'll have to check."
"OK," John agreed, "then we'll have presents with a matching theme."
We both grinned and gave one another a 'thumbs up' sign.
As it was approaching noon I decided to phone Rob, but before I could act
on the decision, the doorbell rang. I opened the door to find Mike,
who in his usual bright and cheerful manner just breezed in without waiting
for an invitation. This behaviour was not impolite on Mike's part,
and in fact ringing the bell at all was a polite gesture because he was such
a part of our family that he'd had a key to our house since he was twelve.
We joined John in the kitchen.
"Hey, guys," Mike said, "Wotcha cooking?"
"I'm making some hot dogs. That lazy sod," John said, nodding in my
direction, "has just had breakfast."
"Any going spare?" asked Mike.
"Yeah, I'm sure I can do a couple extra," John replied.
"Doesn't your mum feed you any more?" I joked.
"Yeah, she gave me breakfast then went out shopping," Mike replied, "but
I'm a growing boy and I need to replenish all the energy I used up last night...
know what I mean?"
Mike winked suggestively at John and gave me a nudge.
"I guess you had Sue's house to yourselves last night, then?" I asked and
raised an eyebrow in Mike's direction.
"Yeah," Mike grinned, "At least until just after midnight when her parents
got home."
"Lucky sod!" John said, looking envious.
It seemed as if he might start drooling and I couldn't help giggling at the
thought.
"What's so funny?" Mike asked.
"Nuthin," I said, taking pity on John and not wanting to embarrass him too
much, "Anyway, I thought you usually help your mum when she goes shopping?"
"Usually. But today she wanted to go alone. Maybe she's getting
me a birthday present!" he said with a grin, then he looked from me to John,
"You've not forgotten it's my birthday soon have you?"
"We might have," I said trying to tease him a little, "but of course we'd
only be interested in your birthday if you're having a party... are you?"
"Yeah, next Saturday. Mum and I decided on the weekend before my birthday
cos it's before school starts back," Mike said, then tried to put on a serious
face, "Ya know, I might even invite you guys if ya bring me some nice pressies!"
"Nah, sorry," John said, looking equally serious, "Paul and I have plans
for that night, don't we?"
I nodded but didn't say anything because I knew that if I opened my mouth
to speak I wouldn't be able to contain my laughter. For a fraction
of a second Mike's face fell, then he realised we were joking and punched
John's arm.
"Seriously though, guys," Mike said, "Sue and I were talking about the party
last night..."
"Talking?!" John interrupted, pretending to be shocked, "You get the house
to yourselves and you spend the time talking?!"
"It's rude to interrupt your elders!" Mike said with equally pretended outrage,
"We were talking about the party and Sue pointed out that there weren't many
girls on my guest list. She said she didn't want to be the only girl
in a house full of guys, and she wasn't happy when I suggested inviting all
my ex-girlfriends."
Mike gave us a wicked grin, then continued.
"So I said she could invite a couple of her friends and I thought I'd see
if you two wanted to invite any girls," he said, then looked at me, "But
I don't think Paul here knows many girls and our little brother John is too
young for girlfriends."
"I'm not too young!" John protested, "I'll be fifteen in about five weeks!"
"Well feel free to bring your girlfriend then!" Mike said, then laughed,
turned to me and added, "D'ya want to invite Rob?"
"Are you implying he's my boyfriend? I already told you he's not!"
I said, sounding and feeling more upset than I intended or expected.
"Hey, calm down!" Mike said, "You can invite him cos I like him. Well,
what little I've seen of him. So you can just bring him as a friend...
he is still your friend, right?"
"Yeah, sorry. We're still friends..." I said, feeling a bit embarrassed,
then I had an idea and added, "And if you want more girls, maybe he can bring
his sister?"
"Is she cute?" Mike and John asked almost in unison, then looked at one another
and laughed.
"Well, I'm hardly the one to ask, am I?" I replied, "But on an objective
level I think she's very nice looking."
"Well, then, she's invited!" Mike said decisively, "Now what about lunch?"
While Mike and John tucked into their hot-dogs I went to my room and phoned
Rob telling him about Mike's birthday party and that both he and his sister
were invited. His reaction was one of complete surprise and he said
he'd be happy to accept the invitation. However, he wasn't sure about
his sister, who was very shy, and in any case his parents might not want
her to go because she wasn't fifteen until July.
"Paul, remember you said you'd help me study for my exams... especially maths?"
Rob asked.
"Of course," I said, "I guess we'd better fix up a timetable and get started
on that soon... they start in about five or six weeks."
"I've been thinking... you don't need to feel you have to do it now.
Ya know, with how ya feel about me... and me not being able to feel the same."
"Don't be silly. That doesn't stop me helping a friend," I said.
"But won't it make you feel a bit... ermm... uncomfortable?"
"I s'pose it might. But what sort of person d'ya think I am?
D'ya really think that I'd refuse to help out a friend just because I might
be uncomfortable?"
"Nah, I guess not..." replied, then paused before continuing, "ya know, I've
never had a friend like you before. I mean, I could tell you were hurt
when I told you I wasn't in love with you, so I was a bit surprised when
you still wanted to be friends."
My parents had brought me up to be loyal to my friends, and my friends had
always been loyal to me. I felt amazed and at first I was even a little
insulted that Rob would think that I'd abandon him so easily. Then
I remembered some of the things he'd told me about himself and realised that
he'd not had many friends and his closest friend had abandoned him after
they'd been seen hugging in the park.
"Look, Robbie, you can't help who you do and don't fall in love with, just
as I couldn't help falling for you. Neither of us wanted to hurt the
other, so we shouldn't give up on a friendship over something that's accidental.
You'd have to do something much, much worse than that before I'd stop being
friends."
"Oh? Like what?" he asked.
"Dunno really. The situation's never cropped up. Maybe if someone
deliberately hurt me or betrayed my trust... maybe that would end a friendship."
"Well, I hope we stay friends forever," Rob said, and for a moment I thought
it sounded a bit like a prayer.
I asked Rob if he had plans for the afternoon and told him that I would probably
go shopping for Mike's present. When he told me he had no plans we
agreed to spend the afternoon together in town and I said I'd meet him at
his house in about an hour. Then I went back to the kitchen to find
Mike and John drinking Coke and having a belching competition.
"You straight boys can be soooo gross!" I said in mock disgust.
"Yeah, well we have an image to maintain!" Mike said and we all laughed.
"What are your plans for the rest of the day?" I asked both of them.
"I promised Mum I'd help with some chores when she got back, and anyway I
want to be home when she's unpacking her bags!" Mike said.
I looked at John questioningly.
"Nuthin planned," John said, "why?"
"D'ya want to go into town with me and Rob?" I asked, then to tease Mike
I winked at John and added, "And do some special shopping?"
"Okay!" John said happily.
"Sometimes I really hate you two!" Mike growled then spoiled the effect by
smiling.
"Well, I guess I'd better get back home," he continued, standing up and flashing
his patented cheeky grin, "I'm going to the movies with Sue tonight so I'll
see you guys tomorrow, okay?"
John and I nodded, and Mike went to the door, but before he left he had one
last parting shot.
"Don't forget to take lots of cash for your shopping!"
When we arrived at Rob's place he must have been looking out for us because
he came out of the house even before the car stopped moving. He looked
a bit surprised but not displeased when he saw John was with me, and he greeted
us both warmly when he got to the car. Instead of getting in with us,
however, he asked us to go into his house as his parents wanted to speak
to me about the party. Apparently Marie hadn't yet decided if she wanted
to go and in any case her parents wanted to find out more before they gave
their permission.
Rob led us into the house where we found Marie and their parents in the living
room. I introduced John to them and Rob's mum offered us tea, but we
declined and I told her we had some shopping to do. His dad then asked
lots of questions about the party and, apparently satisfied with my answers,
he turned to his daughter.
"Have you decided if you want to go yet?" he asked her.
She nodded 'Yes' and smiled, then her parents looked at one another and they
both nodded.
"Right," her dad said, "then you can go. But Rob has to keep his eye
on you and I'll phone Paul's parents to ask them to look out for you as well.
And we'll come to collect you at eleven o'clock."
Everything was agreed and Rob, John and I said 'good-bye' and returned
to my car. John, who had been sitting up front with me when we arrived,
surprised me by immediately getting into the back of the car. Usually
if there were any other passengers apart from himself he would try to arrange
things so he could ride 'shotgun'. As we put on our seat belts I noticed
first that John was smiling thoughtfully, and second that Rob was grinning
and kept casting knowing glances at John.
"Okay, what's going on? I have a feeling I've missed something here,"
I said as we drove off.
"Ya know," Rob said, apparently ignoring me and turning his head toward John,
"she seems to like you."
John didn't say anything, but in the rear-view mirror I could see him blush.
Whereas I blushed frequently and easily, it was quite rare to see John blush,
so I was immediately intrigued.
"C'mon Robbie," I pleaded, "don't keep me in suspense! What did I miss
while I was busy chatting to your dad?"
"Well, if you'd had eyes in the back of your head ya would've noticed how
John and my sister were looking at one another," Rob said, "John was almost
drooling and Marie was fluttering her eyes and trying to look bashful.
Then when Dad asked if she wanted to go to the party she said 'yes' straight
away... I'm pretty certain she would've wanted time to think about it if
John hadn't been there with you."
"Oooo, John," I teased, "are you plotting to make Marie your first girlfriend?"
"Shut up, both of you!" John growled.
He folded his arms over his chest and looked out of the window.
After a couple of hours looking in various shops and jewellery stores, John
had decided that he was going to get an austere but attractive stainless
steel frame for the photograph. I still had to decide which of three
possible rings I was going to buy, so I thought I'd return to town on the
following Monday to make my purchase. Rob had decided to get a Virgin
gift voucher, and after he bought that we thought it would be a good idea
to find somewhere for tea and cakes before going home. Yes, I love
my tea and cakes!
As we walked around to find a cafe that wasn't too full, which is not an
easy task on a Saturday afternoon, I felt someone tap on my shoulder.
At first I thought it was John fooling around, but when I turned to look,
I saw Dan. His shiny black hair was slightly curly and I thought he'd
had it cut shorter than when I last saw him. He looking even better
than I remembered and his skin seemed to have a slightly darker tan, but
maybe it was because this was the first time I'd seen him outdoors in full
daylight.
"Hey Dan!" I said and smiled, hoping he didn't notice me staring too intently
into his deep brown eyes, "What's up?"
"Nuthin much," Dan replied, "I just got bored and thought I'd wander round
town for a bit."
Rob and John, who'd been walking in front of me and by now were a few yards
ahead, suddenly noticed I wasn't with them and started walking back toward
me.
"Oh, that's the guy who was with Ben at the GLYG meeting, isn't it?" Dan
asked me as he caught sight of Rob approaching.
"Yeah, that's Rob, but I doubt you'll be seeing him with Ben anymore," I
said, then in response to Dan's questioning look, I added, "Loooong story!"
At this point Rob joined us and for some reason John was hanging back a little.
"Hi Rob, I'm Dan," he introduced himself, "Maybe you saw me at the GLYG meeting
a couple of weeks ago?"
"Yeah... I think I saw you," Rob said.
Rob, smiling but looking a little uncertain, moved to stand very close to
me and when Dan noticed Rob's movement, his smile faded slightly. Maybe
it was my imagination, but he seemed disappointed.
"So, ermm.... are you two... err... together now?" Dan asked.
Rob laughed and I tried to give an indifferent smile.
"Nah, just good friends," Rob said, then added proudly, "Actually,
Paul's my best friend."
"Oh. Right," Dan said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to seem nosy."
He was obviously embarrassed, but there also seemed to be a hint of relief
in his voice. Maybe I was just imagining it, but there seemed to be
something going on that I didn't understand. In fact recently, as my
life was getting more complicated, there seemed to be a lot of times when
I didn't understand what was going on. I wondered if Dan was attracted
to Rob, but then I thought that Dan already had a boyfriend of his own, so
why should he care if Rob and I were 'together'? Suddenly it occurred
to me that I hadn't introduced John, who had been listening intently to our
conversation.
I introduced John to Dan, but probably because I was distracted by trying
to interpret the earlier part of the conversation, I neglected to mention
that John was my brother. There was a brief pause during which Dan
looked from me to John and back again.
"You're brothers, aren't you?" he said, more as a statement than a question.
He smiled proudly, as if he were a detective who'd made a brilliant deduction.
John and I both nodded, and because we were so used to people commenting
on our physical likeness, it was no surprise when Dan guessed that were related.
Immediately after he spoke, Dan's expression shifted from his proud smile,
through what appeared to be horror, to embarrassment.
"Did you just hear that whole conversation?" Dan asked John
That's when I realised that Dan was afraid that he'd just 'outed' me to my
brother.
"Hey, Dan, don't worry! John knows all about me. More even than
you do!" I joked, and Dan looked relieved.
"Phew!!" Dan said, then he whispered to John, "And erm... are you... ya know...
too?"
John smiled, looked around as if he were part of a great conspiracy,
and shook his head. Rob understood what was going on and laughed.
"John's lusting after my sister!" Rob said.
John, clearly embarrassed, looked down at his shoes, and feeling a bit sorry
for my brother I thought I'd change the subject.
"Actually," I said to Dan, "we were just about to find a cafe. D'ya
want to join us?"
"Yeah, that'd be great," Dan replied, apparently very happy with the invitation.
Purely by chance we ended up in the same cafe where we'd met up with Sue
the previous day. This time, though, the place was much busier and
the only spare table was in a corner near the back of the room. We
found out from Dan that Steve was at home studying hard for his A level exams,
which would start about four weeks after we all went back to school.
In a quiet voce Rob, obviously feeling relaxed among friends, gave Dan a
summary of what happened during and after Ben's party, and I could feel myself
blush when Rob described me as the hero who rescued him.
"Ahh!" Dan said, "now I understand how Paul became you're best friend so
quickly... and I think I also understand why Ben and his boyfriend broke
up."
"Broke up?" I said, probing for more information, "How d'ya know?"
"Well a couple of nights ago I was in The Castle... on my own cos Steve didn't
want to go that night," Dan said, "Ben's ex-boyfriend, Sam, was there...
of course at that stage I didn't know they'd split up... Anyway, Sam came
over and started talking to me. He was very drunk and obviously trying
to pick me up, so to put him off I asked where Ben was, and Sam said he didn't
know cos they'd split up."
At this point he paused and looked round the table at us, possibly to ensure
we were still interested.
"Sam told me he expected Ben was studying for his final exams," he continued,
"and that in any case when Ben graduated in a few weeks he was going back
to Malaysia. He may even have to leave before his twenty-first birthday
in July, so he won't have the big birthday party he was planning....
And guess what? When he gets back Ben's parents have arranged for him
to marry a girl he's not seen since he was sixteen!"
Dan and Rob laughed, I smiled and John didn't show much reaction.
The conversation drifted around to what we were doing in town. I told
Dan we were getting birthday presents for our friend Mike and I mentioned
that Mike went to the same school as him. Dan looked very thoughtful,
and then asked me what Mike looked like. When I answered these
questions Dan grinned and said that Mike and he were in the same year but
not in the same class and they didn't really know one another very well.
Dan also said it was a pity that Mike was straight because he was extremely
cute. After he said that, it suddenly occurred to me that apart from
the colour of their eyes and the fact that Mike was taller, Dan and Mike
were quite similar in appearance. I wondered why I hadn't noticed it
before, or maybe I had noticed and perhaps that's why I found Dan so attractive?
There were implications there that I didn't want to explore any further,
so I felt a small sense of relief when Dan spoke again. However, what
Dan actually said wasn't very pleasing.
"Pity that your friend Mike has got himself involved with someone like Sue,"
he said, shaking his head.
"What d'ya mean?" John asked before the meaning of Dan's statement had reached
my consciousness.
I could hear an edge in John's voice and knowing how he felt about Sue, I
was worried that he would get angry if Dan said something bad about her.
Oh, well," said Dan, sensing that he was on dangerous ground, "haven't
you met her yet?"
"Yeah," John replied, "and I think she's really nice!"
"Okay, okay..." Dan said, trying to placate John, "I guess it's just a matter
of taste. Some people get on together better than others, and it's
not for me to say anything about your best friend's girlfriend. Let's
just forget it... alright?"
When John nodded, and began to calm down. I breathed a sigh of relief but
couldn't help wondering what Dan might have said if John hadn't become so
defensive.
While we waited for the waitress to bring the bill, Rob and I decided we'd
unload our bladders before we started on our journey home. As we returned
to our table after our visit to the toilet John seemed to have forgiven Dan
for his comments about Sue, because the two of them seemed deep in conversation.
When we reached the table their conversation stopped abruptly.
As we left the restaurant, John and Dan seemed very friendly and I wondered
what they had been talking about while Rob and I were absent. When
I offered Dan a ride home he explained that even though he lived on the same
side of town as I did, his house was right out at the edge of town, almost
up in the hills. I pointed out that was an even better reason why I
should drive him home, especially as none of us had anything special to do
for the next hour or so. When we got to my car I was again surprised
that John immediately got into the back, then Dan sat next to John and Rob
sat up front with me.
Following Dan's directions I drove out of town and up toward the hills until
we reached a very attractive and expensive residential area. Dan's
house was not visible from the road because it had a long driveway that led
through a small wooded area. The driveway continued past a large lawn
up to a parking area at the front of the very large stone house. A
smaller driveway led behind the house, where Dan told us there was a double
garage. Needless to say, I was very impressed. Dan invited us
in, but as evening was approaching Rob, John, and myself all wanted to go
straight home.
Taking Rob home meant driving almost past my house, so I offered to drop
John off on the way, but he said he preferred to stay with us. When
Rob got out of the car, John moved from the back to take his place up front
next to me and while this switching of positions took place I noticed Marie
appear at Rob's front door. Rob and Marie started chatting, and as
we drove off both of them waved to us before they went indoors.
"Now I wonder why Marie waved to us," I said, deliberately teasing John,
"She's never waved goodbye to me before..."
John, clearly irritated, punched me on the arm.
"Hey! Don't you dare keep going on about Marie! I've not even
spoken to her yet, so you're making something out of nothing," he said, then
paused, and when I took a side-long glance at him I saw a mischievous grin
on his face as he continued, "Anyway, if you keep trying to tease me I've
got something new on you now and I can easily get my own back."
"What d'ya mean 'something new'?" I asked, intrigued, "I thought you knew
all my secrets ages ago?"
"Yeah, well this secret is so new that even you don't know it yet!"
John sounded like he was really enjoying himself now and didn't say anything
else, no doubt hoping that I'd start begging to know this 'new' secret.
Of course, he was quite right, and after a couple of minutes my curiosity
got the better of me.
"C'mon, John!" I whined. "Don't keep me in suspense... tell me!"
"Well, you have to promise no more teasing about Marie," he demanded.
"Ya know I can't honestly promise that," I said, trying to avoid making the
promise, "something might slip out accidentally without me thinking."
"Then you have to promise no deliberate teasing and try to control yourself."
"Okay, I promise that," I said, "now tell me this secret. And it'd
better be good or the promise is off."
"Deal!" John said triumphantly, then he paused to keep me waiting as long
he dared before he continued, "Ya know when you and Rob went to the toilet
at the cafe? Well Dan wrote his number on a paper napkin and asked
me to give it to you as soon as I got you alone. He wanted me to ask
you to phone him when you got the chance."
"Hell," I said, feeling cheated, "that's not much of a secret!"
"No, well wait... when he first said that I was a bit annoyed cos after what
he'd been saying before, I thought he wanted to tell you something bad about
Sue. So I told him that if he was gonna slag off Sue then I wouldn't
be passing any messages on for him. Anyway, he promised it was nothing
to do with her. He must have known I wasn't sure about believing him,
so he told me why he really wants to talk to you."
He paused again, keeping me on tenterhooks for as long as possible.
Just as he saw I was about to explode he continued.
"He likes you... he likes you a lot... and he admitted that he really fancies
you!"
"But he's got a boyfriend already!" I said, totally astounded.
"Yeah, well after hearing you talk to him about Steve I was also wondering
about that, so I asked him if Steve was his boyfriend. After all, I
don't want to see you getting hurt by a two-timer!" John said, sounding very
protective "Anyway, Dan said that I shouldn't worry cos his situation with
Steve was complicated, but they definitely aren't boyfriends and he can explain
everything when he talks to ya later."
When we got home Mum and Dad had been back for some time and had already
stored away all their shopping. We mentioned Mike's party and they
said that they'd already discussed it with Mike's mum, so we asked if they'd
bought a present for Mike yet. They said they and Mike's mum were giving
him a joint present, so I guessed it must be quite expensive. Once
all four of us had sworn the others to secrecy, we told our parents what
we were giving Mike and they told us that they were contributing to a course
of driving lessons for him, and maybe give him a CD or something as well,
just 'so he'd have something to open' at his party.
That evening I decided to wait until after dinner before phoning Dan.
There would probably have been enough time before dinner, but I was both
too excited and too scared to phone immediately. There were so many
things to think about. Even if Steve wasn't Dan's boyfriend,
I still had strong feelings for Rob. If I started seeing Dan, then
that would mean that I had totally given up all hope of getting Rob to become
my boyfriend. As so often before, I thought myself into a state of
paralysis.
Even after dinner I delayed phoning by spending several minutes just staring
at the napkin with Dan's number before entering it into my phone's memory.
Then it occurred to me that maybe subconsciously I'd already made some decision.
After all, why would I program his number into my phone unless I intended
calling him more than just once? I took a deep breath and made the
call.
"Hullo?"
"Hi Dan, it's Paul."
"Oh! Hi!! " Dan said, sounding as if he'd just won the lottery, "John
passed on my message then. I wasn't sure he would..."
"If John promises to do something then you can always rely on him," I said.
"Anyway, it's really great to hear from you. Thanks for calling!"
An uncomfortable silence followed, during which I wasn't sure what to say,
but I felt I ought to say something.
"Er... I was a bit surprised when John gave me your number," I said.
"Hope it was a pleasant surprise... but why were you surprised that I wanted
you to phone me?"
"Well, not so much that ya wanted me to phone, but... ummm... what you told
John about why you wanted me to phone..."
"Aahh... yeah... well it's true! I really, really like you!" Dan said
the last part with such determination that it sounded almost like a challenge.
"We've only met and talked about three times... how can you really like me
that much?"
Another long pause followed, then I heard him sigh, and when he spoke again
it seemed as if he'd made a decision.
"The first time I saw ya I thought you were... cute. But you were with
Ben all night so I never got a chance to talk. Then I was really disappointed
when you didn't turn up at the next couple of meetings, but the next time
I saw you we got talking and I thought that you were not only cute but also
a nice person."
At this point it was just as well he couldn't see my face, because I felt
it burning red.
"Then today..." he continued, "well Rob obviously thinks you're a hero and
hearing how you rescued him in the middle of the night, I agree with him.
And on top of all that, not only were you great fun to be with today but
you drove me all the way home. How could I not like you?"
"But what about Steve?" I asked, a bit guilty for dampening his enthusiasm,
but I felt it needed to be said.
"Ya know, we never told you that me and Steve were boyfriends did we?"
"No, but the way you both behaved... and you never said ya weren't,
either."
"There are complicated reasons for that. We've been friends for ages,
but never boyfriends, and part of the act was to discourage people like Ben.
Trouble is, it discouraged you as well! Anyway, it's a long story and
I'd really like to meet with you soon so we can talk about it in person."
"Okay, I can understand why you'd want to discourage Ben, and I'd really
like you and me to be friends... but there is something you should know before
you decide if you still want to meet... You see, at the moment I think I'm
in love with Rob, so I don't know if you and me could be more than friends."
"Oh..." he said, sounding hurt. "I thought today you and Rob said you
weren't boyfriends ?"
"We're not, but that's because he's not in love with me and doesn't want
us to be boyfriends," I said, "but if he changed his mind... well I don't
know."
"Rob must be an idiot if he rejects you," he muttered, then added more loudly,
"d'ya think he'll change his mind?"
"Honestly? I doubt it..."
"But ya still hope?" Dan asked in a tone that he was trying to keep neutral.
"I guess so... stupid, aren't I?"
"Not stupid... I know exactly how ya feel," he said, sounding sad, "But if
Rob won't ever fall in love with you, surely you should start looking for
a real boyfriend who will return your love..."
"Yeah, of course you're right. I know that I'll just have to get over
my feelings for him and move on... just... I need a little time before
I totally give up hope... you understand?"
"Definitely. I totally understand. And if... when you give up
on Rob... d'ya think ya might... ya know, get to feel something for me?"
He sounded so sad, hopeful, shy, and cute that if he'd been in the room with
me at that moment I would certainly have hugged him, and possibly kissed
him as well.
"Dan, I'll tell you this. If my heart was totally mine to give just
now, you would be the first person in the whole world that I'd offer it to."
I hoped that just from hearing my voice he could tell that I really meant
what I said. He didn't reply immediately, and I thought I could hear
a sniff.
"When can we meet up?" he said eventually, "I'd really like it to be as soon
as possible."
"Well tomorrow's Sunday, and I'm doing stuff with the family... but I can
definitely manage Monday. How about you?"
"That would be great!" Dan said, "Can I call you tomorrow to make arrangements?"
"Yes, fine, I'd better give you my number..."
"No need. I already got it from the caller ID," he said, clearly amused and
proud of himself, "When can I call?"
"Phone any time ya like," I said, "if I'm asleep or it's not convenient
I just switch my phone off."
After I hung up I was tired and it was getting late, so I switched off the
phone and said goodnight to my family. While I was getting ready for
bed I knew that there were a lot of things I needed to think about, but for
some reason I felt that sleeping would be much easier than it had been the
previous night. My usual bedtime wank fantasy that night started off
with memories of my experiences with Rob, but then after a couple of minutes
Dan's face began to take centre stage so that by the time I reached orgasm
I wasn't sure which of them was the main feature in my fantasy.
As usual when I wasn't at school, the next morning my family had finished
breakfast long before I got out of bed, and as I ate breakfast alone I reflected
that during the last three days a lot had happened and my emotions had been
on a roller-coaster ride. First I was elated at having sex with someone
I felt that loved. Then I was hurt and depressed when I found he wasn't
in love with me. Now, though I didn't know how or why, the sadness
was mixed with a feeling of equilibrium and balance. Of all the weird
things in my life, maybe I'm the weirdest.
At our house lunch on Sundays was the big meal of the day and was usually
between two o'clock and three o'clock, so the evening meal was usually just
a light supper. Mike and his mum joined us for lunch so that we could
all help with arrangements for his birthday party the following Saturday.
During lunch Mike kept trying to trick us into telling him what we were getting
him for his birthday, but after all these years we were wise to his little
tricks.
After lunch Mike, John and I went to my room to listen to some music and
catch up on the latest news and gossip. I told Mike that both Rob and
Marie would be at the party, but I left it up to John to decide if he wanted
to mention his interest in Marie. As I wasn't sure what, if anything,
Mike knew about Dan's sexuality, I decided that it wouldn't be fair to mention
Dan at all until I'd talked to Dan about it.
That evening, after Mike and his mum had gone home, Dan phoned me and invited
me to go over to his house the following day so that we could talk privately.
I told him that sometime the following afternoon John and I wanted to go
into town to buy Mike's presents and arrange for the inscriptions.
"Tell you what," Dan said, "why don't you come and have lunch at my house?
We can have a talk, then you can pick John up on your way into town.
Maybe, if it's okay with both of you, I could go into town with you.
I've not much else to do."
"That sounds like an excellent plan to me," I said, "So I'll see you about
noon then?"
"Noon's fine. What sort of foods do you like?"
"Err... more or less anything... except liver, kidney or shellfish.
But you don't need to do anything special. At home we usually just
have a simple lunch. Maybe bread and soup... or hot-dogs... or sandwiches."
"Oh," he sounded disappointed. "I wanted to show off my cooking skills.
Cooking's one of my hobbies."
"Well, if it's something you really enjoy doing then of course I'd be honoured
if you want to make lunch for me."
"Great!"
He sounded really happy, and I wished that I could make other people as happy
so easily.
As I got ready for bed that night I reflected that since Dan's phone call
I'd spent more time thinking nervously about having lunch with him than I'd
spent thinking about Rob. That realisation made me feel a little guilty
but there was no logical reason for that guilt. I still felt I was
in love with Rob, but he didn't feel the same so I was hardly cheating on
him by thinking so much about Dan. Although there was no reason for
me to do so, I felt badly about myself and wondered if I was just a fickle
teenager who didn't know what real love was. Anyway, I thought to myself,
having lunch with Dan wasn't like going on a date with him... or was it?
oo00oo