The story below is a work of fiction. It is a love story and will involve sex between young gay males. All the usual rules apply. If it's illegal for you to read this or if you're under 18, don't! You might have read the story before as it used to be in the adult friends section. But after editing it, I thought it was more a youth-oriented story. The story here is exactly the same as the original, but it was a little improved and the characters are a couple of years older to make it more real and believable. I think they were a bit too young in the original. Feedback is welcome and appreciated. This is my first story, so I'd love to know what you think, getunitedtoo@yahoo.com
Join my yahoo group to see pictures of the characters and read the band's message board, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/getunitedtoo/
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Chapter 8
As soon as I left Rachel's place, I forced myself to analyze my relationship with Rob. I was walking very slowly, taking my time. I was in no hurry to tell him. I was still scared of his reaction but I was more ready for it now. I had had time to think about it. If he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore, I would fight for him. I would do everything I could to regain his trust, to make sure he knew how much I loved him. I couldn't really imagine him breaking up with me though. I was more worried about hurting him than losing him. I knew it was going to be hard to take for him but I hoped we could get past this. It was the first time since we had gotten together that I felt our relationship was in jeopardy. Before it was sort of a given, we loved each other and I had no reason to worry. This was much more uncertain now.
Everything between us had been pretty perfect from the start, maybe too perfect. His parents were ok with us, our friends too. We were experiencing a love and passion for each other that was pretty damn special. But it was still our first real relationship. I mean, everyone says that teenage romances don't usually last. The odds are against it, right? First love and all. But I was sure we were different. So sure. I knew in my heart that I could never feel the same love and passion for anyone else, ever. Because I couldn't be that close to anyone else. No one could know me as well as he did. It was just impossible. We knew each other so well, every little thing, every little secret. We had shared so much together, we played, we laughed, we fought, we cried, we made love, we fucked, we dreamed, we studied, we worked ....We had traveled every steps of our lives together and now we were realizing our dreams together... We were soul mates. I really think we were.
There was this amazing, strong feeling in my body every time I was with him or thought about him that told me it was love. He was everything to me. He had taught me how to love. My father only showed me hate and I can't really remember my mum giving me a hug or a kiss. Rob and his family gave me their love and affection, unconditionally. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for them. I'm sure of that.
I could still see us together way into the future, even though I didn't know what the future held in store for us. It would probably not be easy. We were still young, we needed to experience life, make mistakes, such as the one I had just made, (Okay, that one was pretty bad. I hoped my mistakes would not have these kind of consequences again), but I was so sure we were not going to drift apart. Mainly because of the band. Even if we broke up, we would stay friends. We hadn't worked so hard to make our dreams come true with UNI to blow everything up with our personal lives. I really hoped we would always be able to separate our professional lives and our personal lives, all of us.
I finally got to his place but I didn't go in. I leaned against the door and continued analyzing everything. Maybe 10 minutes must have passed before I decided to step inside. Rob was in the kitchen, talking with his mother and they heard me come in.
"Hey, what took you so long? I was about to call you," Rob told me.
"Yeah, sorry. We had important stuff to talk about," I replied.
"Really? like what?" he asked unconvinced.
"I'll tell you later," I said as I sat down.
"Ok, boys, don't stay up too long. You have a big day tomorrow. I'm going to bed." His mother told us and gave us a kiss, "good night"
"Good night"..."We were having a snack, are you hungry?" Rob asked me.
"Yeah a little" I looked at him, thinking that he really had no idea what I was about to tell him. I got up from the chair I was sitting on, feeling very uneasy and closed the kitchen door. He was looking for something in the fridge as I walked up to him and said,
"Rob, about Rachel ...it's really something important. I tried to tell you before but I didn't know how and ...I can't keep this from you anymore, I should have told you before"
He closed the fridge door, not taking anything out, and looked at me, "what are you saying?"
I took a deep breath, "you're not gonna like it."
"What?" he asked worriedly,
"We did something really stupid, I, ....oh God, I don't know how to tell you this." I said passing my hands over my face.
"Tell me what?" he asked insistently.
"I ...Rachel and I, we..." It was just so hard to tell him, I was starting to realize how bad it was.
"We had sex." There, I said it. It was done, it was up to him now. I didn't want him to think I had been cheating on him for months so I tried to give him all the facts before he could even react,
"But look it was just a stupid mistake, it just happened once, and I didn't want it to happen. it was on Dylan's birthday. We were drunk and I wasn't thinking. It really didn't mean anything, honest. It was quick and meaningless. I feel terrible about it. I'm really sorry but it's never gonna happen again, I swear."
He was looking down, listening, not saying anything, his hands in his pockets and when I stopped talking he looked up at me, a look of bewilderment on his face, still not moving. I wasn't sure he knew what to do with this. I really couldn't read him. I wanted to take him in my arms and tell him I loved him but I couldn't. I don't think he wanted me to. so I just stood there for a moment and waited for him to say something but he didn't. And I remembered that I wasn't done yet. Since this didn't seem to cause any reaction, I decided to get it over with and just finish him off.
"It's not the worst part. She's pregnant now."
His eyes opened wide and his mouth dropped open and he almost started laughing, clearly taken aback. He looked at me like he just couldn't believe it was true, "ok," he said in mock laughter "oh, that's a good one," he said putting one of his hands on his forehead, and then running his fingers roughly through his hair, walking back and forth in the kitchen.
"And I suppose you're not even joking here, right?"
I shook my head and said, "no, I'm serious."
He walked towards me and asked bewildered "you got her pregnant? Jeeeez, I can't believe this... oh my God, please tell me this is just a really bad dream!"
I pressed my lips together and shook my head, probably looking a bit anxious.
"Oh my God!” he exclaimed as if he had just realized something, “Were you ever gonna tell me this?" he asked, sounding mad. I was about to say something, but he didn't wait for me to answer. "Of course not, cos you don't think you sleeping with Rachel is something I should know! I would have never known about this if she hadn't gotten pregnant, right?" he asked, looking a bit disgusted. "I knew this was gonna happen, it was just a matter of time, wasn't it? You probably think it's no big deal. I really shouldn't care about that, should I?" he exclaimed throwing his hands up in the air a little.
"Of course you should care. Look I know how bad it is, and I don't think it's unimportant. I have no excuses. I feel really bad that it happened. I wanted to tell you, I really did. I didn't want to keep this from you but I just didn't know how to tell you. I was so scared of hurting you," I told him apologizing.
"Bullshit!" he snapped back, "you just didn't want to get into trouble. You were just thinking about yourself. it's just so much easier not to say anything, isn't it? ...So tell me, is there anything else I should know while you're at it?"
"What? No, Rob! I told you, it was a mistake, a mistake that I'm gonna have to deal with for the rest of my life now but I didn't plan for it to happen. I would never do that to you. And it just happened this once, I don't know, we ended up alone and she started it, but afterwards, I was so disgusted with myself, I felt so terrible."
"Yeah, right!" he said, rolling his eyes, "So what now? Is she gonna keep the baby?"
I looked at him, my expression telling him that it was pretty obvious that she was and he knew why,
"What a bitch!" he exclaimed.
"Don't say that, you don't mean it."
"Yes I do, look, I like Rachel, but I'm sorry, lately she's been acting like a real bitch. Since she broke up with Paul, she spent her time trying to get into your pants and break us up. Well I guess she finally succeeded!"
"What?" I asked him nervously, "Get into my pants or break us up?"
He was looking at the floor, he seemed to be really sad and disappointed, but again, I couldn't really read him and I was very worried. I didn't know what he was thinking until he raised his head, looking a bit scared and unsettled.
"I don't know, are we breaking up?" he asked unsure, tears forming in his eyes.
I couldn't believe he was the one asking me this. I had cheated on him, I was supposed to be the one worried that he would break up with me, but no, he was. I should have expected him to react like that. He was scared of losing me to Rachel. He had doubts about us, about how I felt about him. He had never straightforwardly said anything about that, we had never really talked about it but I knew him. His actions were betraying him most of the time. He was always a bit jealous and he constantly needed me to reassure him that I wanted him, that I loved him, that I was not just waiting for someone better to come along. I'm not sure I understood why he was feeling like this but I was pretty sure I was right.
"Why are you the one asking me this? Why do you think that I want to break up with you? You should be the one to decide whether or not you still want to be with me."
"I don't know. Is it really up to me anyway? .... What are you gonna do? Do you want to be with her?" he asked almost resigned.
"No! I don't!” I told him, trying to speak in a reassuring tone “I want to be with you. I know we can work this out. I don't want us to break up. Why do you keep having doubts about me? Why are you so sure that I'm gonna end up breaking up with you sooner or later?" I asked, a bit aggravated.
"Because I have reasons to be... You know, if you wanna be with a girl, just be honest about it. I'll let you go if it's what you really want. Just don't lead me on, I can't stand that."
"Would you stop!” I exclaimed ,“I'm not gonna date her just because she's pregnant with me. it's not a good enough reason to be with someone, and what reasons? Do you really feel like I've been leading you on?" He didn't answer, but it was pretty clear the answer was yes.
"There's nothing between me and Rach... I..I fucked up, ok! I mean, yeah, we're close but it's just friendship, and this was just a stupid drunken mistake. I'm not in love with her. I'm in love with you. How many times am I gonna have to tell you this for you to believe me? " I said confronting him.
He looked down and took a deep breath, "I know you love me, but you did have sex with her, and now you're gonna a baby with her. God, what else am I suppose to think?" he exclaimed.
"Yeah, I had sex with her, but it's not because I wanted her. It could have been anyone. I was just so drunk, I don’t even really remember how it happened, I just...I just didn't think about what I was doing. If I had, I wouldn't have done it."
I just looked at him, and said a bit pissed off, "You know, I'm really getting tired of this."
I was getting mad at him. That was not how it was supposed to happen but I was the one getting mad because I didn't want him to think like this. I wanted to put everything on the table once and for all. It had taken us over 3 years to have our first real fight about our relationship but I wanted to talk about the things we had never talked about. The things that were starting to really bother me.
Before, my sexuality was not really an issue between us, I was with him so I was gay, and we just left it at that. But lately, he had started having more and more insecurities which could destroy our relationship. Maybe it was linked to the fact that we were growing up and meeting new people. There were a lot of people in the business, or fans who took an interest in us. Our relationship was getting challenged. It would have been really easy to just break up and live it up without worrying about having a boyfriend. But we were not that kind of people. I knew how it felt like to be truly in love, and that's what I wanted. I was not looking for infatuation or sex, and neither was he. I knew we were going to have to start protecting our love and actually work to make our relationship work much more than we used to. Our world was starting to change and we were both a bit worried about that.
I knew he loved me. I knew I could trust him 100%, but I wasn't sure he felt the same way about me. It was becoming pretty clear to me that he was wondering if maybe the reason I loved him was simply because he loved me. He had started everything between us, not me, and I think he felt like he was the one who was in love with me and I was just going along or something. Now he hadn't actually told me this, but I knew he believed I wouldn't really care if we broke up. That I would just move on and turn straight. Sometimes I just didn't know what to do anymore to make him understand that his fears were not justified. It seemed as though he was always trying to do everything he could to make sure I wouldn't leave him, to make sure he was everything I wanted him to be. But I didn't want him to feel this way. There were no reasons for him to behave like this. Well, maybe a little bit. I suppose at first I had fallen in love with him because he was giving me what I needed, the love I was craving for. But now, it was different, I was in love with him, I wasn't in love with the feeling of being in love if you know what I mean.
"I'm tired of you having doubts about me, about how I feel about you."
"I don't...." he said, staring at the floor.
"Yes you do. You think I don't love you as much as you love me. You think I'm with you just because you want me to be. You think that I would be straight if I weren't with you. Well you know what? You're wrong. I am gay, and it's not because I want to be gay for you. Maybe you helped me realize that, maybe it would have taken me more time to admit it to myself, but I would have eventually. And even if I could be physically attracted to a girl, I would still want to be in a relationship with a guy because I just know that no girl can make me feel like you make me feel. There's absolutely no doubt in my mind about this. So maybe I don't tell you enough, or maybe I don't show it to you enough, but I -do- love you, so much more than you think. And I don't love you just because you love me."
He had tears in his eyes and he couldn't look at me but I wanted him to admit this to me. "Am I right about this? Come on, look at me in the eye and tell me I'm not right about this!"
He looked at me quickly, taking a deep breath again and looked at the floor, saying with sadness in his voice, "I just don't wanna lose you."
"You won't. Look I know what I did here is pretty bad, really bad. You have every right to be upset but I still want to be with you."
I put my arms around him and hugged him close to me. I was starting to cry a little here. This was a little too overwhelming.
"No one can know me as well as you know me, or give me what you give me. I know sometimes it's not easy for me to tell you, it's not exactly like my parents taught me how to be very demonstrative with my feelings, but I really love you. I don't want to be with anyone else. I need you. You mean so much to me, you're so special, you make me complete. You know what I mean?" I asked him, with emotion in my voice.
"Yeah, I know," he replied, resting his forehead on my shoulder but not holding me.
"I'm sorry about Rachel, I really am. I don't really know how I'm gonna deal with this but I want you with me. I need you with me. I hope you can forgive me." I took his face in my hands and kissed his lips lightly, "do you think you can forgive me?"
He seemed to think about it. "You know," he started, "even if I couldn't, I don't think I could just be your friend now. It'd be too hard. I need more than friendship from you. I want to forgive you but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt me to know that you slept with her. I hope you mean it when you say you'll never want to be with her. But I don't want you to think that it's okay for you to do this... to cheat on me whenever you want because you know I'll just end up forgiving you."
"I really don't think that. It won't happen again. I can't believe I've been so stupid. You're the last person I want to hurt. I'm so sorry. Just don't let me drink again and you'll be fine." I laughed a little and he did too, but that was not a happy laugh.
We finally sat down at the table and I had a snack. We kept talking about everything for a while, Rach, our feelings, our relationship, there was a lot to say. He was still very upset. When we stopped talking, we cleaned the kitchen quickly and when we were done, he said, "Mark, I think I need time to think about all this. Maybe we shouldn't stay together tonight. I think I need to be alone."
I sighed. I didn't like that. I wanted to stay with him. I wanted to feel close to him tonight, to fall asleep holding him or him holding me, whatever, I just needed him tonight. But I guess I couldn't really complain here. If he needed time, I had to give him time.
"Fine, I don't really want to go home, but if that's what you want."
"Just give me some time."
"Alright. But we're gonna be okay though, right?" I asked, not really sure I knew where we stood.
"Yeah," he replied and stepped toward me to give me a hug. He pressed his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me toward him. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and held him tight but he pulled back too soon, so I grabbed his t-shirt and pressed my lips against his and we kissed tenderly, not using our tongues. I brushed my lips over his and kissed him again, small and sweet kisses. Then I kissed his cheek and hugged him again. "See you tomorrow,” I told him. “I love you"
I went home. It was late and everyone seemed to be in bed. I was thankful for that. I went to bed, pretty sure I was gonna have a sleepless night. I had too many things on my mind. Rachel was pregnant with me, Rob had to think about whether or not he still wanted me, damn, and on top of that Nigel was putting pressure on my shoulders. There was this song we had problems with and I knew the next day was going to be a hard, long and tiring one. Jeez, I wasn't even 2! Wasn't that a little too much to handle when you're just 20???? I'm telling you, I was growing up way too fast. I felt like I was 25 or something. I was trying to decide whether it was a good or a bad thing.
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On the next day, Rachel and I talked to her parents in the evening. I was exhausted but we had to tell them. They were surprised, worried and very pissed off. They gave us a really good lecture but it was a little too late for that. They even asked us if we were going to get married, gee. We told them we had made a mistake and that we were not in love. Her father didn't seem to like that very much but they knew me, they had seen me grow up. At least, she wasn't pregnant with some random guy. I think they trusted me enough and hoped I was not going to run out on her. I was starting to make good money with the band. And I was pretty sure it would continue. The future wasn't dark for us. I knew we could financially raise a child and her parents were going to help anyway. I had no idea how I was going to deal with everything else, the pregnancy, taking care of the baby and all that because we were going to start promoting the album and I was worried that I was not going to be in Dublin very often. We were going to travel a lot, the label expected us to focus on our career, not anything else.
I was feeling a bit anxious, but I was going to try to be as involved as I could. I hoped it would be enough. She had her parents, she had a lot of friends. She was not going to be alone in this. I just couldn't believe I was going to be a father, it was so weird. I've got to admit that having kids was really not something I was considering, not yet anyway. It had hit me like a bombshell. I mean, I was gay for crying out loud. But after all, that was probably my only chance to have a kid. I was scared, but not completely freaked out about it. I was pretty sure I would be thankful for my mistake in a few months. Plus Rachel was one of my best friends. She was the only girl I really cared about. I knew we would stay friends no matter what. It's not like I had knocked up a girl I couldn't stand.
We kept working on the album. We were almost done and like for the last one, there was a lot of pressure to meet deadlines. Five days later, we left the studio in the evening and took a cab home. When we arrived, Rob went to his place and I went to mine. The guys were starting to notice that something was wrong, especially Jordan, but I didn't tell him anything. I don't know, I just didn't want to talk about it. Rachel and I had decided to wait a little and actually get used to the idea before telling people. I mean she was only like one month pregnant. Plus I wanted to make sure Rob was okay with it before telling the guys.
I was beginning to wonder how long this would last. When he said he needed time, I though he was thinking hours, not days. During the day, we were so busy, we really didn't have time to sit down and talk, and apart from the guys, the people we worked with didn't know about us so we couldn't express our feelings or show affection. We didn't think it was a very good idea to tell people. It was nobody's business but ours, and we wanted to protect ourselves and our career. As far as the band was concerned, we were not planning on coming out anytime soon. But during the day, I never missed an opportunity to look at him and tell him with my eyes how much I loved him.
Every night I hoped he would come over, or call. I hated sleeping without him, and staying with my family was not something I liked very much. But it was up to him, and I just had to wait for him to come around. I was starting to wonder if he ever would. Sometimes I wanted to call him or go to his place but I wanted him to come back to me. It was his decision. I knew that if I made the first move, I would never be sure if he had really forgiven me and if he had come to terms with his feelings. I didn't want to pressure him into forgiving me.
That night, I came home to an empty house. Apparently, my family had occupations they didn't bother telling me about, and honestly, I didn't want them to. I was glad to have the house to myself.
I was watching TV in the living room when I heard the door bell ring. I turned the TV off, walked over to the door and opened it. Finally, he was here. He looked at me and just said, hi.
"Hi," I answered.
"Are you alone? there's no car."
"Yeah, they're all gone."
He came in and we went to my bedroom. When we entered the room, he surprised me by closing and locking the door behind us. Now that was a good sign. Why would he lock the door if he didn't expect something to happen? I smiled to myself and waited for him to say whatever it was he had to say. He leaned against the desk, his hands in his pockets and I sat on the bed.
"Look," he started, "I did a lot of thinking, and I'm not gonna say I'm not hurt or worried about this whole pregnancy thing. It's mad. I just can't believe you're gonna have a baby, but ...." Yeah, well, neither did I... He sighed, and I just stared at him. He look so fucking handsome. He was wearing a pair of expensive jeans that fit him perfectly, a tight khaki shirt and a black jacket which made him look really good. And I knew how hot he was underneath these clothes. Tight, strong, hard body, not overly muscular but toned, just right. I was so attracted to him. His eyes were so beautiful, his whole face was, but his eyes, god, there was a light in them. I could always see how he felt just by looking into his eyes, and at that instant, I was pretty sure to see that he was here to forgive me. And he had that determined attitude I loved about him. He was confident and sure of himself. He seemed to know where this was going and what he wanted. I really hoped he was here to have sex because I really wanted him and I was already getting a hard on. I couldn't help it. His presence had such a strong effect on me. I couldn't wait to touch him and kiss him. God, I loved him so much.
He was going to forgive me, he had to. It just couldn't be otherwise. I knew how much he loved me. And I knew he was ready to forgive me for what I had done. God, that just made me love him even more.
"But I have to trust you if I want our relationship to work," he continued, "And I do, I trust you. If you say you don't want to be with Rachel, well, I just have to believe you. I talked to her and I understand that you didn't really want this to happen." Oh really? She hadn't told me that.
"I know you wouldn't purposely do anything to hurt me, and I suppose everyone's allowed one mistake ... but you'd better not do this again! No matter how drunk you are! Well, actually, just so you know, from now on, you're not allowed to drink anymore," he chuckled and I smiled. "I don't want you to ever do this to me again. So you'd better think twice next time... “But you were right though," he continued, "I have to stop having doubts about us, it's just stupid. Because now, I know that even though she's pregnant with you, you still want to be with me, and I think I can trust you not to do something like this again."
"You can," I told him, "you're the only one I want to be with."
"I know. All this, it just made me realize that you really do love me. I mean, I knew you did but, well, we're not gonna talk about this again. But, I can see that you're really sincere and now, I know you really want to be with me. I guess this is the first time we have a serious problem to deal with in our relationship and now, I hope we can move on. We just have to be honest with each other, about how we feel and what we want."
I smiled a little and gazed at him. Then I stood up and walked toward him. I stood right in front of him, holding my hands behind my back, biting my lower lip and smiling at him. I had a new hairstyle since a photo shoot for the booklet of the album and my hair was a little messed up. I knew I was totally irresistible here. I didn't move as I looked into his eyes and said,
"I totally agree with that ....so... are you gonna kiss me, or do I have to do it?" He smiled too and said, "you have to do it."
I brought my hands to his face and gave him one kiss before looking into his eyes again. The look must have lasted 3 seconds but it was enough to set us off. The passion between us was back a hundred fold. We pressed our lips together and he attacked my mouth with his own as I ran my fingers roughly through his hair and drew him very close to me, and he did the same as we began to spin a little as we kissed. I felt his lips part and my tongue brushed his teeth before flashing into his mouth and we kissed hungrily, moaning a little with each breath. We made our way toward the bed, and I peeled his jacket off and slipped my hands under his t-shirt, mumbling, "I want you so much, I love you."
He just groaned and pulled his t shirt off in one quick motion, and slipped his tongue in my mouth again, grabbing the back of my head. I ran my fingers over his chest, pinched his right nipple which was already hard and pressed my hand on his hard stomach. God, he felt so good. The passion was so overwhelming that I had to stop the kiss but I immediately attacked his neck with my lips and I grabbed him harder. I nibbled at his neck but after only a few seconds I felt the need to kiss him again so I licked his lips and forced my tongue into his mouth again as he tried to undress me but we were so turned on, it was hard to stop kissing to undress each other.
He pushed his body hard against mine, forcing me to step back closer to the bed and we fell on it. He unbuttoned my pants and pulled them off hastily along with my socks. We finally stopped touching to remove the rest of our clothes but as soon as we were both naked, we crushed our bodies together again and held each other tight, our cocks rubbing up together. I took both of our cocks in my hand and jacked them off. I could have cum just doing that, but I didn't want it to end so quickly. However, feeling his hard cock in my hand like that, I knew I wanted to suck him off. I didn't even bother licking my way down his body as I attacked his cock with my mouth, sucking him up and down fast, forcing drops of precum out of it. He smelled and tasted clean and sweet and I was totally intoxicated by his scent. I licked the head and ran my tongue under the foreskin, teasing the sensitive area around the head and he moaned, running his hands through my hair. I held the base of his cock in my hand, and took more of him in my mouth, wetting his cock with my saliva. And the more I took, the more I wanted to take, so I settled into the best position to do that right, took a deep breath and swallowed him completely down my throat. I held him there, feeling his pubes against my lips.
"Umm mmhm," he groaned as he felt that his cock was buried down my throat and he started to rock his hips slightly. I pulled back, needing to breathe and swallowed him again a couple of times but I was pretty sure I had felt his cock expand in my mouth but I didn't want him to cum yet so I pulled back and he whined as he tried to hold off blowing his load.
"Ohhh nooo, God I was so close, shit, you're fucking tease." I giggled and kissed his navel, jamming my tongue inside.
He put his hand under my arm and pulled me up, apparently needing more body contact. We pressed our bodies together and kissed again, sucking on each other's lips and tongues. He caressed and squeezed my ass in his hand as I continued kissing him and caressing his face. And when he took and felt my throbbing penis in his hand, he moaned with desire saying, "ohh man, you're so hard, fuck me, please fuck me, I want you in me," he begged.
oh God, I was so turned on, I was afraid this was gonna be too much stimulation, but I was determined to last as long as he wanted me to. I pressed my hand on his pecs and caressed his taut chest, sliding my body down lower. I started kissing his cock all over, teasing him some more, and spread his legs wide to rim him, knowing how much he enjoyed having his ass played with. He lifted up his ass and I let go of his cock to push my face into his crack and give his hole a tongue bath. I licked his hole up and down, concentrating on the wrinkly ridges. I wanted him so bad and he tasted so clean, I decided to give a good rim job. I tried to make my tongue hard and firm and began to open him up.
"Ohh yeah, don't stop, ohh," he urged and I continued. He moaned so loudly and sensually when I pushed my tongue as deep inside him as I could and moved it around that you'd thought he had cum. God, that was a huge turn on. I fucked him with my tongue and he went wild. He started stroking his cock fast but I stopped him, wanting him to concentrated only on one sensation. I then licked my way up to his smooth balls, taking them in my mouth one by one and rolling them around. He moaned again but asked,
"Oh lick my ass again, feels so good."
I did as I was told and fucked him again with my tongue, listening to his moans and holding his cock in my hand so he won't jerk himself off, when I remembered something and stopped.
"Ohh noooo"
"What?" he asked surprised.
"I don't have lube here"
"You don't?"
I shook my head no, and we laughed. we had never had sex in my room, not once. I just didn't have lube in my room and rob was the one who always carried the stuff around . I knew some guys used it to jack off but I didn't. plus I didn't really need to jack off, we were having sex all the time.
"You're so straight," he said with a laugh. Now, that was good. He was actually able to joke about that. "Thank god, I'm not!" He quickly climbed down the bed and picked up his jacket on the floor to retrieve a small sachet of lube they gave away in gay clubs with condoms. He was back on the bed in a flash as he tear it open.
"You were planning this, weren't you?" I laughed.
"What do you think?" he said smiling.
He squeezed the liquid out of the sachet and lubed up my cock urgently, kissing me at the same time. Apparently he wanted it bad and he wanted it right now. He lay down close to the head of the bed, a pillow behind his back and told me to give it to him, which I was more than willing to oblige.
I touched my lubed hard penis, making my fingers slippery and pushed a finger inside him to make sure he was ready, but my tongue had opened him up fine. He gave out a groan and titled his head back. He seemed to be really eager so I positioned myself at his entrance and started pushing my cock inside him. He felt so good. It hadn't been more than two weeks since the last time I had fucked him but it felt like it had been much longer.
"Ohh Mark," he sighed. I pressed my chest against his, tucked my hand under his left knee and held his leg as I began thrusting my cock in and out of him gently. We moaned, totally in sync with each other and I soon increased the pace with which I fucked him. I started breathing faster with each thrust, slamming my cock into him, giving him full, regular strokes. I kissed his neck hungrily and nuzzled my face in the crook of his neck. We were groaning a lot and breathing fast. Rob was holding the back of my head with one hand and roaming his other hand up and down my back, sometimes pressing his hand on the small of my back to feel my strokes. I raised my head a little and searched his lips. he held my face in his hands and we kissed urgently for a few seconds, until we resumed our earlier position.
Rob grabbed the back of my head, moaning with ecsatsy every time I hit his prostate "mmhhm yeah, fuck me!"
I worked my cock in and out of him fast and let go of his leg to firmly grip his shoulder or hold his head as he held me tight. After only a few minutes of this, I started to feel an urgent need to unload and I whimpered,
"Rob, I need...I"
"What? you need to cum?" he mumbled, knowing what I was trying to say,
"Yeah."
"Do it, let it go, cum in me," he urged, holding me.
I didn't need to be told twice. I stopped holding back and surrendered to the feeling. I felt him tighten his ass around my cock on purpose as I panted and whimpered, exploding hard inside him. My body was jerking and Rob was holding me tight, forcing me to nuzzle my head in the crook of his neck with his hand. I continued fucking him until I started to feel my orgasm subside and I finally stopped shaking and quivering. I kissed his neck and looked down at his cock, still hard as a rock and leaking against his stomach. I pulled out of him and took the head of his cock in my mouth and stroked him fast with my hand. I wanted to taste him. I licked and sucked hard on the head. Within seconds he was losing control and whimpering, "ummhh here I go"
His body tensed and I tightened my grip on the head of his cock as he began shooting hard in my mouth, making all sorts of erratic sounds I loved to hear. He came a lot, and I had trouble swallowing it all. He tasted incredibly sweet and I continued sucking him, squeezing every last drop of cum out of him and licking him dry. His body started to relax and I climbed back up on top of him, pressing my chest against his again as I kissed him and caressed his hair.
"Oh man, we should fight more often," he joked.
I laughed, "I don't know about that," and I lay my head on his chest. He massaged my head and said, "I am so in love with you."
I looked up at him, smiling, and I suppose my eyes must have talked for me because I didn't have to tell him I loved him too.
"I know," he said, "I know." I placed a kiss on his lips and I laid my head on his chest again.
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Our time in the studio was finally over, the album was really really really good! we loved it! We had given so much, we had worked so hard. We were very proud and satisfied. It was our little baby hehe! We had decided on “The Penny Dropped” for the title, because a lot of the songs dealt with growing up and trying to understand things in life. The music and melodies were great and all the songs conveyed a different message. Rob's voice was amazing on every song. He was putting so much passion in his singing, it was pretty fascinating to watch him give so much of himself like that. Most of our lyrics were deep and meaningful. They were never stupid or shallow. We used them to say everything we wanted to say, from love, to hate, to religion, to politics ....and I think the lyrics could have a different meaning for everyone. We tried to keep it pretty universal but before anything else, it meant something to us, and that's what made it special.
Some of the songs were about the frustrations we had to endure because we were gay and the feelings associated with it, but I don't think people could actually figure that out. We took the risk anyway, it was important to us. I'm sure it could mean something to straight people as well.
Now the promotion was going to start, I hoped people were going to like the songs as much as we did. It was the end of May, we had finished the album a couple of days before and the label organized a little party with everyone involved in the process to celebrate the end of the recording. We listened to the album, opened a bottle of champagne, and drank to what we had achieved so far and hopefully to the success this album was going to bring us.
We were talking, joking around, having fun when Nigel raised his glass, grinned, and gave a toast.
"Ok, guys," he started, the tone of his voice indicating it was probably going to be pretty amusing. "I'd like to say something! I'd like to say that I'm really glad this is finally over, I couldn't stand you anymore!" we all giggled.
"Mark! you know, I have big hopes for you. You are a truly gifted musician and song writer. I think you're even more talented than I am, it's really pissing me off. I hope I won't see you again for a third album, you're really bad for my ego. God knows where you will be when you're my age! It's a scary thought for me!" we laughed and he continued,
"Rob, Rob, Rob, what could I say? I could say that you're a great singer! That you give me goosebumps every time you start to sing! that you're a pretty special human being! that you will go far! But I won't!" We all cracked up, the way he was saying all this was so funny.
"No, no, no, instead, I'm gonna say that God really didn't give you a chance. You're not a very good-looking guy! Yeah, I think people are gonna run away screaming when they'll see you and hear your voice on this album! I'm afraid this band is never gonna make it with you in it"
"Thank you." Rob said humbly.
"You're welcome." Nigel replied and continued. Jordan and Dylan couldn't stop laughing, they were almost crying.
"Jordan, I think the day you will stop joking around all the time, maybe we will get some work done."
"Hey! We finished the album, didn't we?" Jordan laughed.
"Yeah! but it's not thanks to you!" Jordan tried to act as if he was hurt by Nigel's comment, but he couldn't stop smiling. It wasn't very convincing.
"Ok, who's next? Oh, Damon and Dylan! you know what I think of you, you rock! Oh did I say Rock? I meant Suck! Ok, I know I've been hard on you, I know you hate me, I can't blame you, I would hate me too if I were you but it was for your own good! So what I really want to say is that you all are talented musicians already and if every band I work with could be like you guys, my world would be perfect! I'm very proud of you, You have done well! Keep working as hard as you've been working so far and the world will be at your feet! I can't wait to have this album for free! hey what do you think? I'm not gonna buy it. I'm not giving you my money!" he giggled "To you! Cheers!"
We all raised our glasses, smiling and laughing, said thank you and drank.
A few minutes later, we sat down with our manager to discuss the promotion of the album. Rob's father wasn't managing us anymore. He didn't feel like he could handle it. he had a job of his own and the record company felt like it was better if we were managed by someone who knew people in the business, someone who knew how it worked. The label had recommended a guy named Thomas Dowell. He was 35, really nice and professional. We called him Tom.
We had met him a few times already but lately we had been working on the album so we hadn't done any promotion. But we knew he was working for us, planning absolutely everything.
"Well, now the real work is about to start. You're going to be a lot more busy than you used to be. We have important things to talk about today." We just looked at him and listened a bit excited.
"Okay, I told you the promotion is gonna start right away. In three days, you are scheduled for a lot of TV shows, radios and interviews, photo shoots, we're also gonna shoot the video for the single next week, everything in London. A lot of people in the business have already listened to the album and it's a big hit. they all want you, it really wasn't hard for me to arrange all of this."
"Cool!" I said, smiling and beaming.
"There's something important we need to discuss. We decided this only a few days ago. You are going to spent a lot of time in England obviously, and we're not gonna pay for hotel rooms all the time when you're there, so the best thing for you to do is to move to England."
We all look at each other, thinking 'what the fuck?'
"You need to leave Ireland. You can't work properly from here. It would be stupid to come back here all the time. At your level, everything happens in England and they already love you over there. The label owns a building in Notting Hill. It's a building with 10 flats and you'll be living in two of them".
"We have to move to London? Like permanently?" Damon asked a bit stunned.
"Yes, for now anyway. It doesn't mean you won't come back here once in a while, but yes, you need to be in London much more than you need to be in Ireland. It's the best thing to do. you won't only be working in London, we are also going to promote the album in Europe, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Ireland of course, but also Japan, Australia in a few months depending on how well you do in Europe... but you know all that. But still, it will be much easier for you to live in London because that's where everything starts. The best journalists are there, the fans, the money. ok!? You're following me?"
"Let's see, what time is it now?" he continued, "6, right, you should go home now, huh, tomorrow and Friday you need to pack, say goodbye to the people you need to say goodbye to, and your flight to London is on Friday at 9pm."
"God," Rob said, we all looked at each other, taken by surprise. We were not really expecting this. It's not like we didn't know everything was happening in England. We knew we were gonna spend a lot of time there and in Europe in general, but we hadn't really thought about leaving Ireland. It was our country. Apparently, we only had a couple of days to pack everything we wanted to take with us, to say goodbye to everything we were so familiar with, our homes, our friends, our parents, our whole lives were going to change. We were a bit stunned here because he hadn't told us about this. Plus, we didn't even have a say in this. We were moving and that was it! He wasn't giving us a choice.
Jordan looked at me, an expression of sadness spread over his face, but it soon made us laugh. We were sad but strangely, we were happy too. We almost wanted to cry, all of us, not sure if it was because we were happy or sad.
It was so weird. I think we were so tired too, our emotions were right at the surface. It's not like we were never going to come back home but we were not going to live there anymore. It felt like we were adults now. We were going to live by ourselves in another country. Well, of course we had people around us, we were far from being alone. Actually, we were probably going to be more watched over by our manager and the label than we were by our parents but still, it was going to be an adventure.
So after some more talking and planning, we went home, and started packing.
On the next day, we organized a party in the afternoon, well more like a get-together at Dylan's place, with our families and our close friends. It felt like we were turning a new page. We were sad, nervous and excited. It was a strange feeling. I talked to Rachel about moving. We hadn't worked out all the details but we were gonna be able to talk on the phone all the time and well, she didn't really need me yet. I hoped she didn't feel like I was abandoning her. I don't think she was. She knew how excited we were about the band and how important it was to me. The only people who knew about the pregnancy were Rob and her parents. But I'm pretty sure she had also told a few of her friends and I was planning on telling the guys soon.
Before leaving for London, I talked to my mother about everything that was happening, except the baby. Of course she knew about the band, the album, the recording. I wondered if she was proud of me. If she was, she didn't say. I told her the label wanted us to move to England. She asked me a few questions, but it seemed as though she didn't feel very concerned. She just agreed, telling me it was a good opportunity for me. I didn't need her approval, but whatever. She didn't even tell me that she'd miss me. I think the best word to describe our conversation was 'CLOSURE'. It's not like I was never going to see her or my family again, but I was taking my independence, like I had wanted to since I was 16, even before that. I didn't need them anymore. I could make it on my own. That was it. To me, I was saying goodbye to her forever. I really didn't think we could work things out. I didn't even want to. I had been hurt too much, too many times. I was giving up. I knew I was never gonna be close to them. I knew that as soon as I left, I would never come back. There would be no more Christmas with them, no more dinners, no more birthdays, nothing.
On Friday 30 May 1997, we happily boarded the plane, starting a new chapter in our lives.
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To be continued,
You can join my Yahoo group to see pictures of the characters and read the band's message board. I wrote a few threads and you can find out what their fans think of UNI.