Date: Sun, 10 Feb 2002 23:44:58 -0800 (PST) From: M P Subject: on the flip side part 1 CHAPTER 1 I stared at the bleachers, watching to see if he was there. I had forgotten where I was or what I was doing. I just stared. The sun glared in my eye as I caught a glimpse of the person I had wanted to see. He wasn't much, but he was perfection to me. I thought I caught his eye, maybe we had connected for that one moment-- *SMACK* The soccer ball hit me right in the side of the head. I fell over and landed with a thud on the damp grass beneath me. All I could do was moan with pain. I saw a face through the bright sun. "You wanna get up now, Howie? We're gettin creamed and you're playin gaga eyes with some girl in the bleachers." I noticed the voice. It was my best friend, Brian. I realized where we were. It was the soccer game against Brody Prep. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. My name's Jake Howard. EVERYONE calls me Howie, though. I'm 6', 190 lbs with a light swimmer's build. I have Dark Brown hair with blonde and dark blue (yeah, blue) highlights and brown eyes. I'm a sophmore at a vocational high school for Culinary Arts. I swam and played soccer but otherwise wasn't big on sports. Ever since I came to the AVCA (or the academy of visual and culinary arts) I had had the biggest crush on one kid. No matter how many times I thought I was over it, I wasn't. His name was Alex but we all knew him as Lex. He was about 5'7", kind of skinny with spikey hair and red tips and the darkest brown eyes ever. He was Filippino. He was so sexy. I couldn't stand it half the time, just looking at him made me want to grab him all over. He wanted to become an artist and was pretty darn good at what he did too. We had gotten off to a bad start when we first met. I had kinda been an ass to him. But one day in the hall we were fooling around. I had been telling everyone I loved them because of this stupid bet I lost and when I told him he was chasing me around saying "I never knew. I want you so bad now." I had been laughing my ass off. I loved that day so much. But then there had been this rumor that I hated him. Of course that was obviously no where near the truth but try telling someone your sorry for something your not even sure they know you did. Wouldn't you feel like a dumbass? Yes, you would. I walked off the field late that day feeling depressed and alone. I had been feeling like that alot lately. Lex had just broken up with this girl he was dating and I thought that he may have broken up cause, you know, he was gay or something and was ready to stop pretending. Course, who the hell was I to talk? I'm the biggest closet case in the world. I have told no soul on this earth that I had even thought about another man. And no one suspected anything either. But then he got with this older girl and my heart just broke all over again. I wake up everyday saying to myself "Ok, not gonna think about him." and I ALWAYS do. To make things worse, the girl was a friend. I felt like crap. Just as I got off the field, Lex approached me. My heart stopped. "Hey" he said. "Hey." "Listen, Kate (the older girl) 'n I were thinking of going to a movie next week. We figured u could come." Of course I wanted to go. But it'd be weird just the three of us. "Don't worry we asked Brian if he wanted to go so it won't get weird with just the three of us." What was up with that? He reads minds now, too? "Sure" I said. It was all I could say. "Cool. See you in school." He walked away. "Yeah...see you." I got depressed as what I wanted the most walked away. I got changed that day sighing the whole time. Brian looked over from his locker and punched me on the arm. "Hey, bro, who died?" he asked. "Huh? Oh, no one, B, I'm just tired." A lie. "No, you've been like this for a while now, what's up." "Nothing, man, just back off." I slammed my locker shut and walked out with my bookbag. I turned around to get my gym bag and looked up. He had the saddest eyes. I felt so bad. "Listen, dude, I'm sorry." I told him. "No...no it's ok." He sat on the bench that was inbetween the lockers and put his head in his hands. I sat next to him. "Is there something up with you?" I asked. He just sighed. I got closer. "Hey, man, I'm sorry I'm such a jerk lately but it doesn't mean I hate you or anything." I put my arm around his shoulder. "You're my brother, Bri, you know that I love ya man." He looked up with those eyes. He was 5'10 and was pretty built. A GREAT sixpack, blonde hair, great legs. But, oh man, those eyes. There was one thing about Brian I loved and it was his aqua green eyes. Then it happened. He kissed me. "WHOA" I backed away. He got up and paced back and forth nervously. "FUCK!" he screamed. "I-I'm sorry I just. I--" He grabbed his stuff and ran out into the field. I ran after him. I found him behind the bleachers where we would always go after school to hang out. I crawled underneath the metal guards and found him crying as hard as I've ever seen anyone cry. "GO AWAY!" He screamed. "Bri..." "I'm a fag. Now you know. Now you know that I loved you and now you know that the person I've been was a lie. I'm so sorry." "Brian. I love you too. Just, not in that way. You're like a brother and--" I got closer and put an arm around him. "--you mean a lot to me." He rested his head on my shoulder. He started crying again and I pulled him into a hug. He cried into my chest. We sat there for hours. Him just crying and then he looked up at me. "So...y-you're ok. With...me? And how I am." He looked up at me. "You're the same person you've always been, bro. And...I Think there's something I should tell you..." I sighed and he stared at me. I felt his eyes pierce my soul. I looked into his. "...I'm gay too." He sat up and a million emotions passed by his face. Suprise. Happiness. Love. "But--how can you? I mean. I never suspected." He stammered. "I never suspected you either. The point is I'm here for you and I'm feeling the same stuff you're feeling." "Just...about another guy, right?" he asked. "Yeah." I said. It was quiet for a really long time. Then... "Who?" I sat up. "Alex." He stared at me funny. "Alex. Alex off-the-wall-sugar-rush-hyper-as-a-monkey-on-crack, Alex?" I laughed. "Yeah. That's him." "Well, he is kind of cute." Brian confessed. "Well, yea he's gorgeous and sexy... and funny... and cool... and gorgeous..." "I'm not?" He asked. "No! You are. You're all those things." "So what's the problem?" Damn those eyes! Ok, willpower, don't fail me now. "I just don't feel that way about you. Besides what if something goes wrong? I don't wanna lose my best bud." He sighed. "Well I love you anyway." I kissed him on the cheek. "That took a lot of balls." We walked home talking about all the things we'd been dying to talk about for a while now. It was great. But something never left my mind-- Alex. ~~~ TBC Any comments? Send them to jjjyyhotbod99@yahoo.com