Date: Thu, 14 Feb 2002 22:28:56 -0800 (PST)
From: M P <jjjyyhotbod99@yahoo.com>
Subject: on the flip side part 3

Chapter 3

	It seemed like the movie would never start. We were about 20
minutes early for the movie so of course there had to be SOME conversation
fitting in somewhere. I was so nervous, everytime I opened my mouth I made
this gargling noise. Needless to say, it took me a while to get one word
out.

"So. You heard about this movie?" He asked.

I sort of just drooled. I forgot what I was doing for a second. Then I came
to my senses. Movie? Wait. What movie WERE we seeing?

"Actually, I don't even know which we're seeing. Kate picked it out." He
said before I could even think.

Ok, this kids gotta STOP reading my mind.

"Heh... so how are you and Kate doing?"

I looked into his eyes for the first time when I said this. To my suprise,
he looked away and his expression became serious.

"Uh... we're fine."

	He talked as if he didn't want to discuss it. He seemed unnaturally
inexperienced when it came to talking about girls.  But what the hell would
I know about that? Not as if I talk about girls constantly. Come to think
of it, I never saw him really at ease with a girlfriend. It was always
so...stiff. As if he was just going through the motions. I stopped myself
right there. I was reading too much into it. I always did that. Everyone
always says the good guys are either taken or gay.  To me, it was the good
guys are either taken or straight. I got so obsessed with Lex, I even
started having dreams about us.  I even tried Wicca. That was kind of
extreme. Don't think I'm a stalker; I'm not. I'm just obsessed. When I
first talked to him, it seemed as if we clicked. I thought he felt it
too. That maybe there was some cosmic force between us. Now... well now I'm
not sure if I was being an idiot or connecting. Ok enough mush, back to the
movie.

He looked at me and asked something really weird.

"Do you ever feel like sometimes... you need to tell certain people things?
That, even if you don't know them that well, you'd just feel alot better
telling THEM something rather than one of your closest friends?"

I quirked a brow.

"Actually, yeah. Sometimes it's easier to tell something to a person you
don't know like a sibling than to maybe... Lily or Rachel."

Lily and Rachel were his best friends. He talked to them more than
anyone. Maybe not more than his friend Jesse but that's because Lex has
known him pretty much his whole life.

"Exactly! ...Do you think I could tell YOU something? Confidentially."

He looked up and gave me this sincere face.

"Sure. I won't tell, shoot."

I was sweating bullets.

"Well... I don't really like Kate. At all. I never did."

I was not suprised. It seemed like they never had a think going on at all.

"It's ok, man. Just tell her how you feel before she gets hurt."

"I don't think she will, Jacob."

I blinked. He called me Jacob. No one EVER called me Jacob. I mean
Howie-constantly, Jake-sometimes, but Jacob? Never.  I kind of liked
it. But I was kind of confused on why she wouldn't.

"What do you mean she wouldn't get hurt? What's really up?"

At that exact second some guy in back of us told us to shut up because the
movie was starting. I figured I'd let it go and just watch the movie.

	I wasn't really focusing on the movie, though. The whole time I
just stared at the screen, I was just thinking about what he could have
meant by that. I snapped out of it and watched the movie. It was one of
those mushy movies. The ones you just dont care about unless you see it
with the right person. I had the right person; just not the right motive. I
looked over to see him looking at me. He looked away as soon as we caught
eyes. By the end of the movie, he was asleep and his head rest on my
shoulder. I was in heaven. H-E-A-V-E-N. I took in his scent. Geez, that
sounds corny, but it was true. I memorized his smell in that last ten
minutes. When the movie was over, I woke him up and told him we had to get
going. When he saw he was on my shoulder he sorta spazzed and pulled his
head back so fast he hit it on the back of the chair. He said he was sorry
and we both walked out of the theatre.

"So, watch the movie at all?" I asked.

"Movie...oh yeah."

I laughed.

"You sped."

I punched him on the arm playfully as I said it. He just looked up and
smiled.

"So. Movie is over." I stated.

"Starbucks!" he shouted.

"...Umm."

"Wanna go to Starbucks? I mean. It is kind of early and I need a pick me up
and there's no use in going home NOW I mean It's cold anyway and you look
like you could use something to warm you up and--"

He was babbling. I could use HIM to warm me up.

"You got me, Lex, I'm comin'." I laughed as I said it.

"Arrighty, then, let's go."

	We walked for about 2 hours. Talking about school. What we
liked. What we didn't. It definitely wasn't the shortest route to getting
there, but neither of us seemed to mind. We got there and kept talking over
our Frappucinos (Yes, Frappucinos.)

"Are you nuts!" he asked.

"What?"

"It's winter!"

"So?"

"So..."

"So I guess you must be nuts too."

I nodded towards his Frappucino.

"Cold doesn't bother me."

"Me either."

"God, you must be my twin or something, Jacob. We're so much alike!"

"Yeah... I guess we are."

	Finally, after talking and walking for about 3 hours, we decided to
part where the street would take us each into our own town. We had become
pretty close in that short time.

"Damn, it's 2 a.m.!"

"So? You got somewhere to go?" he asked.

"No...maybe to sleep but. Nah."

"You're a really cool kid, Jacob."

"You're not so bad yourself, Alex."

	I walked home that night cold after he left. I felt empty. A part
of my being was missing when he wasn't around now.  I walked to Brian's
house instead of mine and just used my key to get into the back door. His
mom was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee and reading the
newspaper. At 2 in the morning, I didn't know why.

"Cheryl."

"Jacob."

"Brian?"

"Room."

"Graci'."

"Prego."

	His mom was awesome. I was really close to Brian so it wasn't weird
that I'd just walk in and upstairs into Brian's room. In fact, his mom
would get worried if I didn't stop by. One night I just fell asleep on the
couch in the common room at school after soccer practice and his mom was so
worried she had police officers track me down. I was kind of scared, but
with my parents always at work it was nice to have some sort of a parental
unit.

	I walked into Brian's room. Brian's room was home to me. We had so
many sleep overs over the years. I'll never forget the smell of old gym
socks. It didn't bother either of us but to his mom it was like sniffing in
toxic nuclear waste. I found him in his bed, asleep with the T.V. on Nick
at Nite. I decided that I'd join him. I got in his bed and under the
covers. He woke up just when I wrapped my arms around him. We had been
sleeping like this for a while now. It's how we always slept so it wasn't
unusual to his mom or anything. But lately, it had been more intimate. One
night I told him we shouldn't sleep like that anymore and he started to
cry. I had never seen him cry. I decided it couldn't hurt just to sleep in
the same bed and not do anything else.

"Hey." He said groggily.

"Hey, stud. How was your night."

He sat up when he realized how happy I was.

"No... the question is, how was YOUR night?" He got a mischeivous grin on
his face when he asked.

"Nothin' special happened, B, so don't get any ideas."

He looked at his alarm clock.

"2:30 a.m.?? You animal!"

"Bri! You know nothing happened. We just had coffee after the movie. And
talked. Nothing else!"

"He's into you. He has to be."

"I dunno. I'm not going to just ask him. Or tell him that I'm into him. I'm
not ready."

"Yeah yeah. Whatever. Just get your clothes off and sleep with me
sometimes, sexmuffin."

I laughed. I slipped off my socks, pants and shirt so I was just in a pair
of boxers. Brian rolled on top of me just as I was finished. He looked down
at me with those sexy eyes.

"So how bout it, Jake, can I borrow you from ol' Lex for just one night?"

He had a raging boner in his pants, I could feel it through the fabric. He
ground it against mine. I gasped.  He took his hand and placed it on my
chest.

"Bri! I--"

I couldn't stop myself. That was the truth. He leaned in for a kiss. I
turned him over me so his front was pressed against my back.

"GOODNIGHT, Bri." I said sternly.

He nibbled on my ear.

"Goodnight, hunky Howie."

For some reason... I was somehow getting sucked into his seduction ploys
more and more every time.  hands

	School was torture on Monday. In baking, Matt made another pass at
me, I swear! Of course, there I go reading into stuff too much.

"Hey, Jake, this Friday there's a benefit Lacrosse game for my town to
raise money. You wanna come?" Matt asked as he took out his whipped cream
from the freezer.

"I have no clue how to play, dude! I'll make an ass out of myself."

"I'll teach you. It's a night game so it'll be fun. A lot of sophomores
will be there so don't think you'll be the only one."

I thought for a second.

"All right, it's a date. I Mean-- uh-- not really a date. It's, you know, a
day-tuh."

"I hope" He grinned and walked away.

My heart screamed out 'THAT WAS A PASS! THAT WAS A PAAAASSSS!!' but my
brain was like "Yo, Howard, Wake up."

 Brian kept making all these faces trying to seduce me. I had to seperate
myself from him some times. But, the most suprising thing was Lex and I. We
hung out all week. We talked in the halls. We walked home together. In
fact, I think his friends were getting kind of jealous. That Friday, Lex
broke up with Kate. She was "devastated" until she asked Jeremy Mitchell
out 2 hours later.

	The soccer game against St. Anthony's was over quickly. We creamed
them, 11-3. I have to say, it was one of the first times I noticed Brian on
the field in that tight little uniform and got a boner. I was getting
scared that I was getting too attached to him and he would suck me in. I
was suprised to see Lex in the locker room.

"Hey, bro, thought I'd wait for you. Nice game." He said.

I was kind of confused, but relieved. Brian left early to go home for some
reason.

"Thanks."

I smiled as I took off my shirt. For a split second I thought he was
looking.

	We walked home like we had done all week. For one hour (even though
we lived ten minutes away from school), we talked. It was awesome talking
to him. I felt like I could say anything. We got to our parting-street.

	I stopped and thought about something for a while. I was going to
tell him. I was going to try to come out to him. I hoped to God he wouldn't
react badly.

"Alex...there's something I need to tell you."

He stopped and stared at me, looking nervous.

"Ok...go ahead."

"I-I'm...cold. Gotta go."

I started to walk away.

"Jacob! That's not what you wanted to tell me."

I stopped. I turned around slowly and walked back, looking down the whole
time.

"Alex...I'm... I'm gay."

	The whole world stopped. On the quiet little street, our world just
came to a halt. He just stared at me. I didn't what was happening. This
isn't what Brian did. I prayed, as hard as I could. I just prayed. And then
it happened... he walked away. He didn't say anything, he just walked
away. I pleaded for him to come back but the more I shouted the faster he
walked until he was running as fast as he could to get home. I just stood
there, dumbfounded. I was so sure. I was so...stupid.

	I ran home, crying. I ran through the backwoods that led to my
house. I ran into the back yard and fell into a set of pricker bushes. I
didn't care, I was so hurt already I was already numb. I ran into the back
door, bleeding. My parents were at work like always. I ran inside my room
and shut the door so hard I thought the framework would collapse. I buried
my face into my bloody arms and just cried on the floor in my locked room.

My world was over.

After about one hour of straight crying, I calmed down. Still sobbing, I
heard the door bell ring. I went to answer the door and was shocked as
anything when I opened it.

"Hey man. Can I come in?"

It was Matt...

~~~
TBC
Suggestions? Comments?
Send to jjjyyhotbod99@yahoo.com