The closest I can come to explaining it is as an inner explosion. A raging fire that burned just as brightly when I went to bed at night, as it did when I woke up in the morning, and every single solitary second in between. You know how you feel when you open that giant gift wrapped box for your birthday, and find the best present ever inside? That jolt of excitement, and surprise...where joy pushes its way out from your heart and spreads to every inch of your body in a quick, unrealistic, rush? Well...being in love, and having that love returned to you, even EXPRESSED to you in a physical way...is just like that. But the feeling is maintained throughout your entire day. The wonderous confusion and disbelief that something so powerful, so beautiful, could happen to YOU. To YOU! Oh man...what am I ever going to do with this feeling inside? Or better yet...what is this feeling going to do with ME?
I was eating dinner with my mom when thoughts of Drew bubbled up inside of me and I began to smile beyond my control. It was incredible. Almost as though I could feel the presence of his love inside of me. The taste of his kiss on my lips. I just wanted to close my eyes and let the emotion vibrate throughout my entire body, unrestricted. I never thought it wold be this good.
My mom asked what I was so happy about, obviously noticing the radiant smile gleaming brightly on my face. And I could only drop my head with a smile and reply, "Nothing. Just thinking of something funny. That's all." Did she buy it? I doubt it. But the fact of the matter is, I was too happy to hide it behind a sense of 'normality' at this point. Actually, it was taking a lot of concentration to keep from sarfing down my food in a hurry and run to my room to call Drew on the phone. There was no way in hell I was gonna be able to wait until tomorrow to hear his voice again. To tell him I love him again. To fee his presence in my life again. I was giddy, simply agitated by the second hand of the clock, clicking by so slowly. Taunting me, making me keep distance from a boy that I was so thirsty for. It was as though nothing else mattered. As though it was all a distraction to keep me from seeing Drew smile in my direction. Or...blush....
SIGHHHHHH...he's so cute! GOD, he's cute!
After dinner, I practically went skipping into my bedroom to grab the phone. The number, remembered by heart. I could dial it as quickly and easily as I could my own, blindfolded even. And once I heard the phone ring, the anticipation of hearing his voice again began to rattle me to pieces. I was beginning to giggle already. "Hello?" It was HIM! Omigod...it's....my boyfriend!
"Hey!" I said, smiling until it hurt.
"Hi Ethan...." I could hear it...his affection came right through the phone, and surged through me with a warm electric current that made me wiggle my way down to the floor. Just to keep myself somewhat grounded. "I...I was hoping you would call."
His smile sounded so delicious. "I wasn't sure I could wait until tomorrow. I kinda miss you already." I said.
"Yeah...I miss you too." Then he brought the phone closer to his face and softly whispered, "I've been thinking about you ever since the park today. Like...non-stop. I can't WAIT to kiss you again! Hehehe!" He giggled to himself a bit, but I could tell that he was trying to hold back a little bit. If his dad was in the house, I'm sure that it would make things a bit weird.
"If you were here right now...we would be." I heard Drew sigh outloud over the phone.
"Don't....you're gonna make me all girly."
"You're GAY, what are you gonna do?" I grinned.
"Shut up!" I heard his dad's voice say something from the background, and he covered the receiver with his hand. There was a muffled conversation, and Drew came back with, "Hey Ethan...how late are you gonna be up?"
"How late do you want me to be up?"
"Hehehe, stop that! I'm blushing as it is, and my dad is gonna think I'm up to something. Listen...I'll call you back in...ummmm...like three hours, ok? Once he's asleep I can talk a bit more."
"Ok." I answered.
"Is that ok? I mean...really. I don't wanna..."
"It's fine. I'll be up. Trust me."
Drew went back to whispering, "I love you. So much. I'll call you later, promise."
My chest inflated a bit, and I got lightheaded all at once, "It's a deal. I love you." It made me quake inside to utter the words, EVERY time! I'll never get tired of that.
"G'night sexy!" He giggled quietly, and swiftly hung up as though he were making sure that that was the last words spoken between us until he called back. I could almost feel him laughing at me as he thought about it. As he thought about me.
I laid back on the bed breathless, and hardly moved at all until it was time for him to call me back. I just...stared at every slight imperfection in the paint on my ceiling, feeling this jittery sensation flowing inside of me, and balancing the phone on my stomach with one hand. This was real. Can you believe it? This was actually one hundred percent real. As I lay there in a dreamy haze, my mind was flooded with thoughts of holding Drew in my arms and crushing his fragile frame against me. His butter soft, flexible limbs, would curl around me slowly. His delectible lips would meet mine in an untouchably romantic manner, stealing the breath right out of me. How I longed to feel the gentle friction of his skin sliding erotically across mine as my embrace sheltered him from the whole world. I could just lay there with him, for hours and hours, never speaking a single word. To exist in the same space with him, held close, locked together in an unbreakable bond...would be one of the most unbelievably pure experiences that anyone could have. I doubt I could handle it. I'd melt away. Simply melt away.
The phone rang and I jumped a bit from the shock. Still, it was late, and I made sure to pick it up on the first ring so that my parents didn't think to 'investigate' whoever was on the phone. "Hello?"
"It's not too late is it?" Drew said, sounding just as adorable as ever.
"No. I'm here. Can you talk?"
"Yeah...but um....now I don't know what to say." He grinned.
"Don't say anything. Just...let me be with you for a little while." Did it catch him by surprise? Was he speechless? I didn't know, but we stayed silent for quite some time that night on the phone. Only speaking every few minutes or so to make sure that the other one didn't fall asleep. The thing is, I was hard...soooooo very hard, just listening to the sound of his soft breathing on the other end of the phone. My erection was straining, pulsing with a sexual frustration that it had never known before. It was almost painful. I was forced to reach my hand down to grasp it lightly. The organ jumped to attention, ready, willing, anxious, to be satisfied. I pushed it down a bit, towards my feet, and it strained back against my hand. A feeling of pleasure rushed through me, my eyes widened, and I almost gasped outloud. I pushed against it again, holding it for a few seconds this time, and it seemed to grow even harder. As though that were possible. My member stood angrily at full attention, and throbbed furiously, trying to explode all on its own. While still begging and pleading me to do the job.
"I love the sound of your breathing, Ethan." Drew whispered, almost breathless. I wondered if he was under the same spell that I was at that moment. The whispered words of an angel flooded my ears, and it only made me hornier and more desperate. "I love everything about you."
"Oh God..." I whispered back, now grabbing a tighter hold of myself and squeezing tenderly, "...you don't know what you do to me."
"I wish I was there with you, Ethan. I wish I could touch you. I wish you could touch me." His voice gathered a sexual haze of its own, heard even through a whisper. "Earlier today...at the park...I really wanted to touch you. All of you." I don't even remember when I undid the button of my pants, but once it was open, the zipper seemed to almost fall open all by itself. A small, but noticeable wet spot had formed at the very tip of a well tented pair of boxers, and I reached inside to feel the heat and urgency of my six inches as I grabbed a hold of it once again. Skin to skin contact, flesh on flesh, the tickle of my silken pubic hairs brushing against my wrist, the band of my underwear trapping my hand inside a virtual sauna of sexual need...I took a single stroke of my member. From the bottom, to the top, squeezing it a bit at the tip, and then back down to the bottom. That single stroke sent shivers up my spine and I felt my stomach collapse as the pressure built up inside of me. It was then that Drew continued, "Ethan...would it..would it be too soon to tell you that I wanted you?" Omigod! This was driving me CRAZY!!! I gasped at his question and took another long stroke of myself, my needs boiling over as my every nerve became alive with activity, and my body tensed and tightened, all guided by the activities going on below the belt.
"N-N-No...no it's not too soon." I said, my eyes closed now, a third stroke leading to a fourth and fifth. Still slow, but gaining speed. "I want you too, Drew. I've wanted you since the first day I met you." My breathing picked up, and I tried to keep it under control so he didn't know what I was doing. I hope he couldn't hear me.
"Ethan?" He asked, his voice shaking in such a cute way that it almost put me over the edge.
"I...I wanna be alone with you." His whisper got even more quiet, almost choked up. "I need to be alone with you."
My strokes at this point were unashamed, set in motion and unable to stop. I was close. So close. "I want to be alone with you too. I'm so hard right now..." My mind was lost, and I felt a climax rushing up to the surface. My legs had gotten weak, but the catalyst came when I heard Drew say...
"So am I. And it doesn't want anybody but you, Ethan." There was no way to stop it, or to even catch the mess it made. The orgasm shot up from my toes and took my whole body over like never before. It was absolutely paralyzing! And when I felt the hot splashes of liquid ooze over the back of my hand, I bit my bottom lip to keep from whimpering out loud into the phone. But I couldn't catch my breath, and I knew that Drew had to have heard me. I laid there in silence for a second, in no hurry to get up and clean off. I had an afterglow to bathe in before even ATTEMPTING to move again. That's when Drew grinned bashfully, and whispered, "I heard you cum."
I was SO embarrassed! Shit! "Omigod...dude...I'm sorry. I just...I was listening to you, honest."
"Hehehe, I know you were. That's why I liked it so much." He said. "Next time...save me some." He tried to say it with a straight face, but I could hear the bashful little blush in his voice. It was so beautiful.
"Pervert..." I said with a grin. "You're blushing, aren't you?"
"Yes you are, I can practically see it through the phone."
"So? What if I am?" His flirtatious tone got to me and made me tremble inside.
"Then it means that maybe I excite you the way you excite me."
"Hehehehe..." It was such a shy laugh, one that I knew was only making things worse. "...maybe."
"Ok...definitely." He said. "But we'll have to discuss that between kisses the next time I see you."
"Yeah." We giggled and flirted and whispered to one another until we finally decided that we had to get off of the phone for the night. Besides, the torture of talking to Drew and not being able to reach out and touch his was driving me insane. I think he agreed with me. "So...the park again tomorrow?" I asked.
"Sure. I'll be there. Although...." He stopped.
"Forget it. Listen, I'll see you tomorrow, k?"
"No no...c'mon, tell me. Although what?"
Drew began searching for the words, and then said, "I'd rather be somewhere private with you. I really...I really want us to be alone. I want to just lay down with you somewhere and not have to look out for cars or people or anything."
"Don't worry. I'll think of something, k?"
"K." He agreed, "I'm gonna dream about you tonight. Promise."
"You better." I replied. "G'night, Drew. I love you."<> "Hehehe, you should really warn me before you say that. I never know when to expect it, and by the time I hear it, it's over." He giggled to himself.
"I'm gonna say it again then, k? You ready?"
"Ok, here it comes..." I said, and then took a breath to say, "I love you, Drew." And you would have thought he was about to faint on the other end of that phone. There was a long pause, a silence, and then I heard him sniffle a bit. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." He said, his voice trembling, holding back a gentle sob. "I love you too, Ethan. You mean so much to me." He said, the sniffles getting more frequent. "I never thought in a million years that someone like you could be possible. Not for me. You are too good to be true..."
"And if it weren't for you, I'd probably still be living a lie. Still be trying to 'fix' myself. You made everything so clear, so beautiful...you made it ok. I'll spend the rest of my life thanking you for that. So don't you dare give me all the spotlight."
Drew was beginning to cry at this point, and told me, "Listen....I have to go. Really. Look, I'll see you tomorrow." before he got worse. "I love you."
"Love you too." I heard him whimper a bit as he went to hang up the phone. And that was that. A conversation that touched me deeply with the fact that it was so true. Beyond my very GRASP of truth. My heart beat with more life and energy than I could comprehend, and I was jelly in the hands of my first love. I never thought anything could feel this blissful. I had to get up and clean myself off, but I had to just lay back and enjoy the moment for a bit longer. Love was crushing me with it's infinite weight, and I never wanted it to stop. It was the first time in my life that I felt GOOD about being so helpless.
The next morning, I got up before my alarm even got the chance to go off. I was so excited to see Drew again that I kept waking up in the middle of the night, hoping that it was already morning and I'd be able to start making my way towards my infatuation again. It's such a refreshing state of mind, to wake up with a smile and know that you have something to look forward to for the rest of the day. When I hopped out of bed, my adrenaline began to pump almost immediately, and I knew that I was only an hour away from seeing my favorite angel. I hungered for his kiss, a starving man that could only be saved by the glory of his presence. While brushing my teeth, I imagined myself making out with him again, and it made my heart feel lighter than it ever had before. It was as if I could taste his tongue as it slid so passionately across mine. I couldn't wait to feel my hands on him again. He was so soft, and his body heat almost burned you when you held him close. His delicate breath would often tickle my cheek when we kissed, and his hands would become so obsessed with the lean muscle of my lower back as I rolled in to be closer to him. Drew's ass was one of the most squeezable in existance, just firm enough to be a handful, with a round bubble-like shape, and it would tense up slightly when my fingertips dug into it through his jeans. Oh wow...I'm addicted to the feel of him. To the very essence of him. My boyfriend. Can you believe it??? My BOYFRIEND! I thought my heart would explode!
I skipped breakfast altogether that morning, taking a cold Pop Tart with me on my way out of the back door. And I raced to school with the hope of getting there early enough to spend some quality time with Drew like I promised. I wonder how I was ever able to breathe without him. When I got to class, I stood outside of the classroom door, desperately scanning the hallway for the new love of my life. My feet were tapping hurriedly on the floor beneath, my fingers were fidgeting with whatever they came in contact with, my breath was short, my heart was speeding with anticipation. It was pure HELL waiting for that boy to show up! Hehehe! Five minutes passed. Ten minutes passed. And soon, it was time for school's first period was about to begin. But there was no sign of Drew anywhere. I wasn't sure what to do, but when that last bell rang and he still hadn't shown up, I made my way into the classroom to take my seat. Don't tell me the little bastard FORGOT about me! Hehehe, I'll be sure to bite his bottom lip for that the next time he kissed me! I'd be hurt if I wasn't so damn giddy. So irreversibly happy. This was so insane.
Class went on as normal, and about 20 minutes after it started, a very hurried Drew ran in and TRIED to secretly join the rest of us for the day. Hehehehe, he looked so embarrassed, and naturally the teacher couldn't help but notice him rushing in after missing HALF of the damn class period! When he sat down next to me, I just giggled a bit and gave him a strange look. Just to playfully say, "How could you forget our early morning rendezvous, you bitch?" And he smiled and silently mouthed the words 'I'm so sorry' in response. And that was it. Of course I wasn't really mad. To be able to lay my eyes on him was enough to make me happy. That's all it took. Unfortunately the class was more of a lecture type thing for that day, and it didn't give the two of us a chance to really communicate at all. But he was able to furtively toss me a wadded up piece of paper with a short note scrawled out on it.
It said, "I'm so so so sorry that I didn't see you early this morning! Really! Ok? I love you! And you look HOT in that shirt!" Hahahahaha! I could see his eyes twinkling brightly as he pretended to not watch me read it. Then he snickered a bit, trying to hold back as much as he could. I looked at him and lewdly licked my lips, bringing a darker shade to that adorable pink blush of his. When no one was looking, he mouthed the words, 'tear it up', to me. And I 'destroyed' the note as instructed, making sure that the pieces that I tore it into were too small and ragged for anyone to decipher what it was that we were passing between each other. Afterall, I didn't want this getting out. I don't care HOW weird our behavior had become since we've been 'together'. It's not that I didn't want to shout my feelings out from the highest mountain top, because I really DID! But discretion was a must. At least for now. The last thing I needed was for OTHER people to get involved in a relationship that Drew and I were going to try to build with each other. Other people get in the way, they make us act stupid and lay judgements and create a set of rules for us before we're even ready to examine who we are as individuals, much less as a couple. For now...we'll just enjoy what we feel and work out the details as we go along. That sounds so mature, doesn't it? Hehehehe!
Drew was able to enjoy a short class that day, since he was so damn late, and was a bit surprised to hear the bell ring so early. We all got our stuff together and I met Drew outside of the door, ready to walk with him to his next class. "What the hell happened to YOU, dude?" I asked with a smile.
But Drew was so serious. "I'm sorry..." He whined, in the cutest way imaginable. "I wanted to see you early. I REALLY did! I just got....I got caught up in something and I couldn't make it." Then he looked around, and the hallway was full of kids passing from one class to another. He stood on his tip toes and leaned closer to whisper, "Would it look weird if I hugged you?"
"Hehehehe, no." I answered, and he almost immediately gave me tight hug. A quick one...a 'straight' one...but a hug nonetheless. Then he grinned and said...
"Thanks." His bashful smile lifted my heart into my throat. "I'd do more if I thought I could get away with it." I giggled a bit, watching to see who was watching us. "Your lips look so tastey right now." He said.
"Stop that. You'll get me all..."
"All...." I whispered, "...hard."
"Good. As it should be." He replied, and turned slightly to gently brush the back of his hand against the growing bulge in the front of my pants. I gasped for air, and it made him laugh as he stood in front of me to hide me from anyone walking by.
"You're WACKY, you know that?"
"Yeah, I know. But I've gotta stop that because I think it's working on me too." Drew said, now holding his backpack in front of himself to hide his excitement. "I was thinking, maybe when we go to lunch today....maybe we can just...you know...STAY there. I wanna spend more time with you."
"What? You mean no study hall with Patrick?" I teased.
Drew turned around, amazed that I even brought his name up. "SHUT UP!!! Oh my God...don't bring that up!" A genuine blush, humiliated in the sexiest way. "I can't believe I told you that."
"I can't believe you LIKE him!"
"I DON'T like him. He's just.....he's HOT...hehehe."
I put on my best pouty face, "Hotter than me?"
"NOBODY is hotter than you, Ethan. So get off it, already. Hehehe!" He said as we both started to walk to next class. A short pause passed between us as we made our journey through the school, and you wanna know something? I didn't even really feel the eyes of the other kids anymore. At least not like I used to. Before, I always wanted to walk straight, talk straight, act straight, BE straight. But now...I was aware of the fact that I didn't have to be straight to be happy. I was already happy. Happier than I've ever been. And fuck 'em ALL if they didn't understand it. THEY didn't have to. "I wanna kiss you so bad right now it hurts. I can feel it in my chest, seriously." Drew said with a smirk. I could tell that he felt a bit corny saying it to me outloud, but I could also tell that it was exactly what he was feeling. So it was MORE than acceptible in the 'mush' department. I was about to say something, but he smiled and said, "Shhhh!" As some of the boys from the Basketball team passed by us. Jackets, hi fives, and noisy laughter and all.
We kept walking, and it was a harmless thing to pass each other in the hallway. But it was extremely noticeable...the silence that fell over all of them when they saw us walking together. That one moment, those few seconds that it took for our duo to cross paths with their brigade of 'model society', seemed to last an eternity. We didn't even muster up enough courage to look them in the eye. I could feel them watching us, I could sense them looking at each other as though it was weird that the resident 'cocksucker' would have a male friend brave enough to be seen with him in 'public'. And once we were done and heading off in different directions, I could hear some whispers being traded, followed by some offensive laughter. Whatever it was that they said about us, I hope it was worth the laugh....
Because WE certainly didn't give a shit! Waste your belligerent tactics on unsuspecting high school bimbos if you wanna impress them. *I* found the real thing! A love I can be happy with and go to sleepat night totally satisfied. Suck on it and swallow you shallow, loveless, junk headed, sons of bitches! Psh!
We got to Drew's class, and were ready to part ways for a few hours. A few hours...wow...that seemed so long. "You keep me breathless, you know that?" I said.
The look on his face was compliment enough for what I had just said to him. Someone passed us to get into the room, and we clammed up immediately. I looked down and saw him....growing considerably. Quickly, like right in front of my eyes. I held my breath, knowing how badly I wanted it, and yet not knowing what the hell to do about it. I instead took a hold of his wrist, and used it to push his backpack in front of his emerging tent and keep it from being seen by anyone in the hall. He was breathing hard and his eyes widened as he realized that he was 'showing'. "Omigod..."
"I can't wait until lunch."
"Omigod....um....k....well....see you then." He said, SORTA smiling, but nervous as SHIT! I don't think he knew what to do with himself at that moment. You know it's real when you can see the boy you love visibly shaking in front of you. "Hehehehehe!"
"What's so funny?"
"Hehehe...nothing." He said, and I gave him a stern look. "NOTHING! Go to class already! You're embarassing." He bit gently at his bottom lip as he backed away from me and went to sit down at his desk. I was able to pull myself away from him, but it was never easy. Not any more. Is it NORMAL to be floating like this all day long? Or is Drew just as special in the whole order of things as he is to me as an individual part of my happiness? I wonder if anyone else on the planet can see this light in him that I see. I wonder if they can see the fact that I've become so unbelievably infected by it. Wild.
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. The clock was moving so slow that I was actually considering the idea of getting a pass to the bathroom and just not coming back to class. If I thought I could pull off a scam that would allow me to take my bag with me, I probably would have gone through with it. But I waited it out, and after a period of Christ-like patience...the bell for lunch hour rang, and I took off like a racehorse to meet up with Drew and get back to our 'extracurricular activities'. SWEET! I think Drew must have been in just as much of a hurry to come see me, because he was a bit out of breath when I met him by the back door. There was a time when meeting up with him where people could see me, was forbidden. Now? I'd probably swing my fist at the first person who even looked at us crooked. This was real, and I had something concrete to fight for. I'm SO loving this feeling right now!
"You ready?" I asked.
"Yeah...." Drew said with a timid shrug of the shoulders, and we made our way back out to the park. This time, not wasting any time at all and heading straight to the slide. There was no fidgeting, no fumbling, no stuttered words. This time, we just sa down underneath the shiny surface of the slide, and as though we were perfectly in sync with one another, we reached for each other and allowed our lips to connect tenderly, making our hearts pump harder than they were made to. It was dizzying to share a kiss with someone I loved so completely. I could do this for the rest of my life. Never stopping for air.
The taste of Drew's tongue was just as warm and honey sweet as I remember it to be, his hands were just as infatuated with my back, his hair was just as soft, his breath was just as gentle. It was as though his lips were drawing the very air from my lungs and the very strength from my body. We made out for about 10 minutes without saying a word. We hardly opened our eyes. My lips were almost numb and my fingers were tired from lovingly tangling themselves up in Drew's chaotic brown curls. Then...we stopped for a moment to take a break, and we stared into each other's eyes as Drew caressed my face with the most angelic touch. I saw his face wrinkle up a bit, and his eyes began to sparkle with the beginnings of tears...but he held them back like a soldier. Then he closed his eyes and kissed me again, his breath in short huffs as though he were trying sooooo hard not to cry.
"I love you so much, it makes it hard to breathe." He whispered, and a single tear fell from his eye. A tear that I caught on my finger tip and wiped clean from his flawlessly smooth cheek. "I'm sorry. I'm ok, really. I just...I'm crying because..." He thought for a moment and kissed me on my forehead, "You're way too good to be true, Ethan. This doesn't seem right, you know? I just..." He began to break up a bit more, more tears now forming small thin rivers of silver liquid on his face as they dripped from his eyes, "...I can't believe that I'm here with you right now. I can't believe that we're doing this. It's too much for me to handle all at once. You make me so fucking happy...." He sobbed. "Oh man....I'm SORRY!" He said, wiping his face and trying to stop himself from getting too emotional. He tilted his head back, trying to keep the tears at bay.
"Hehehe, are you ok?" I asked.
"Yeah, I am. I promise. I just...I never thought something like this was possible, that's all. I guess it's making me a big sissy today. Hehehe!"
I wrapped my arms around him, and held him close, allowing him to bury his face in my shoulder. I could feel a warm sensation as his tears soaked through my shirt and blessed the surface of my flesh. I found myself getting a lump in my throat, feeling Drew's unrestricted joy flow through me in a neverending circle that enveloped us both. And I just held him there. I held him so close. I would occassionally kiss the top of his head, and that only made his arms snake further around my waist, holding me tighter in his embrace. And that's when it happened.
I had been hard since we started kissing. I could get hard just THINKING about Drew, much less holding him in my arms. But this was different. This was even more intense than before. It was a sexual flame and it was burning hotter and hotter every second that I held him close. Suddenly, the tightness of the muscles in my erection were getting to be almost painful, and my lips pressed against the top of Drew's head weren't enough. Nowhere NEAR being enough! "I love you, Drew...sighhhh...I love you." I said, and pressed my lips against his scalp tightly, letting the candied aroma of his hair fill my nostrils and bring a sensual buzz to my mind that can't be explained. It flared up and only made things worse. 'Do MORE', it told me. 'Touch him', it said. 'He's yours', it urged. I hugged him tighter, and hoped that the feeling would pass. We WERE in a public park, afterall. But when he looked up at me, and began to kiss me again...the feeling intensified ten fold! My adrenaline was shooting through me so hard that I could hardly sit still. I was getting nervous, scared....TERRIFIED! Where was this sudden sexual urge taking me? I was only a teenage boy, I knew what sex was, I knew what it looked like, I knew that I wanted it. But....I've never had it sitting next to me, with arms around my waist, and kissing me on the lips, before. This was new, and I wanted to elevate it to an entirely different level that it had never been to. But how? HOW?
My mind was going CRAZY with a trillion thoughts at once, and I didn't understand a single one of them. But, as Drew's tongue began to get more involved in it's exploration of my mouth, and our caresses went from tender, to loving, to lustful, I found my hands going back down to the soft and supple cheeks of his ass again. I heard myself whimper involuntarily as I gave the melons a squeeze, and I felt Drew's breath escape out of him as it fell graciously on my cheek, our lips still joined in the most romantic of unions. I began to need the ripe, bulbous, mounds with both hands, and rolled onto my back to let him get on top of me, smothering me with his feather-soft weight. And once I felt his first push, that first grind into my hardness, his jean-clad erection pushing so needingly against my own, I knew that even THIS was not enough. My hormones went into hyperdrive, and my sexuality bloomed so brightly that it almost blinded me. It was like a loss of my senses, an forbidden and sinful willingness to give up all self control and just let my emotions and my common sense become united in a single act of wild abandon that sent my spirit soaring higher than my imagination was able to reach. Way up there on cloud nine, where only the 'experienced' are allowed to take up residence. The strange thing is....when Drew kissed me, when he would push into me from above..I could feel that he wanted it too. And that's when sex became more than a topic of discussion in a classroom, more than an awkwardly set up scene in a lesbian porno flick...it became a possibility. A need. An attainable goal. That's when sex took its rightful place at the front of my teenaged sex crazy mind, and Drew's body became a desire that I couldn't deny anymore. Oh God......is sex going to be an added bonus in all this? Shit...this CAN'T get any better!
I grabbed Drew tightly by his ass cheeks, and I felt him gently run one of his hands up under my shirt. No further than a few inches above my belly button, but it was a sexual touch that let me know how far he was willing to go if I gave him the go ahead. Things were getting heavy, and my erection was tingling at this point, overexcited at the new activities that it was engaged in. It was my 'little head' that was running the show at this point. We rolled on our sides to kiss a bit more, and then even further so that I could get on top of Drew and let his butter soft body cushion me from the hard ground below. I melted into him, feeling the sexual energy pouring out of him as I began to dry hump him with my own rhythm. Push...and pull back, push...and pull back. It felt sooo good! I thought I might explode, and as his arms held me close, his legs now wrapping themselves around my waist as if in desperation, I could tell that he was getting just as heated as I was, if not moreso. We began to moan in unison, and Drew's boyish cries only enhanced my level for attraction for him. This boy, this frail and gentle boy, with light brown curly hair and a slim and soft body that was warm enough to feel like a soothing bath to anyone who held it up against him. His voice, his smile, his wit, the color of his blush, the way he and I could talk to each other so easily, his gentle nature....they all came together, and manifested themselves physically as we humped each other with more and more urgency. I was now pumping into his fully clothed body with a fever that wouldn't allow me to stop. He felt so good. Sooooo good!
"Mmmmmmmmmm" Drew whined. "Ohhhh....dude....Ethan...?" He said, breathlessly. He cringed a bit, and his face tightened up as he realized how close he was to an orgasm and how dangerous it was to be going this far in a park in the middle of the day. "Uhhh....uhhh....uhhh..." Will he tell me to stop? Will he pull away? I'm so close. Sooooo close. Is it worth it to stop? Is it worth it to keep going? We both fought HARD for our sense of right and wrong. "Ethan? Wait..." He said.
"Huh.....you....you ok?" I huffed breathlessly. His eyes sucking me back down to kiss him again after just a momentary pause.
"I think...wait...I think I'm gonna...um...you know? I think we should stop while we're ahead."
"I think I'm going to blow soon too. But...I don't think I can stop. Hehehe." I grinned.
I leaned down and kissed him on the lips, and we held it for a few seconds, but when my hips instinctively pushed into him again, he broke the kiss. "Mmmmmm...yeah...I'm close. Too close." He said, now sitting up and gently rolling me off of him. "Ok, we've gotta stop." His face was flushed, his hair messed up pretty bad, his pants sticking out so far that I could see his pulse right through the fabric. It was soooooooo ready to burst! Another pump or two, and he would have been beyond the point of no return. "I have to go back to class, you know. I can't necessarily go back...uh..."
"Sticky?" I laughed. And Drew swatted me on the arm, giggling himself.
"Yeah. 'Sticky'...you pervert."
"I thought you decided you weren't going back to class today?" I said with a smile, knowing that Drew's 'good boy' instincts were going to outweigh even the fun that WE were having.
"Yeah, well...not today." He giggled. "Maybe someday soon. When we find someplace safer to go."
"Well..." I stopped for a second, and then continued, "We....we could....always try my house?" I said. My body began to quake violently at the idea behind what I was saying, and yet the energy of being alone with him drove me to say it anyway. "Maybe when my...um...parents aren't home? Maybe?" My breathing got short, and I was hoping and praying that the whole offer didn't come out sounding like, 'Hey Drew, would you fuck me if I found a place?' Even if...to some extent...that's what I was thinking. In the most romantic of ways, of course. Hehehehe! Drew was silent. He stared straight up at the sky, and I was SURE that he was going to say no. "Um...ok." He mumbled, his voice shaking almost as badly as my hands.
"Really? I mean, are you serious?"
"Yeah. I...I guess." He had a strange look on his face, not quite confusion, not quite fear. And he suddenly sat up to leave. "I've gotta go."
"Alright, I'm coming." I said, and we began hurriedly collecting our stuff and making sure that our clothes and hair weren't as ruffled and disheveled as they were while rolling around on the ground together. Hehehe, the way his brown curls held onto leaves and twigs...it was hilarious. "Come here..." I said, and he stepped closer as I picked through his hair to get the excess debris out of it. Then, right before I was able to reach the last leaf, Drew stepped closer and hugged me tightly around my waist.
"You make life so beautiful. I never thought anyone could do that for me, not even you." He said, and he let loose a few boyish whimpers as he squeezed me as tight as his frail arms would allow. His tears were magic to me.
I didn't say anything. I just gave him a sweet kiss on the lips, and whispered, "C'mon. You'll be late." And we walked back to school together to face the rest of the day.
Drew sped off to his class, and I floated through the hallway to make it to mine...hopefully not too late. Wow...Drew, and me, alone. I can't imagine what that would be like. Visions of him shirtless were quickly followed by a string of naked touches and kisses, the kind of stuff that porno movies cut out because it would make it too long. The seductive glances that bury themselves in your soul, the kisses that can last you for a lifetime, the sensual touches that send an adrenaline rush through your whole body and force you to give into their addictive feeling. And then...things progressed...rather quickly, I might add. My mind became full of images of wrapping my lips around him, of inserting fingers, of warm wet sensations engulfing my hardness, of liquid explosions and the erotic frowned up faces of two boys engaged in the most mindblowing release. It made me weak from the inside to even think about it.
"Ethan? Jesus, where the hell have YOU been?" I looked over and saw Billy and Joey both standing near Joey's locker.
"What's up, you guys? I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so absent all the time. I've just been doing stuff. That's all." I said.
Billy silently scoffed at me coming back. "Suuure, we'll see you at least TWICE more before graduation, I'm sure." He said sarcastically.
"What makes you think I'd wanna see you THAT much?" I answered, throwing it back at him. "Hehehe, c'mon, it hasn't been THAT long, has it?"
"That's not the point," Joey said. "All Jermaine does is talk about how you don't hang with us anymore. It's getting to be kinda creepy, but I think he misses you, dude." Joey locked up and him and Billy were ready to head off to class.
"I'm sorry. Really, ok? LOOK...we'll make plans to get together for this weekend. K? Promise." They smiled a bit, expecting me to back out with an excuse by the time the weekend rolled around. "I said I PROMISE, alright? Whaddya want from me? Quit being little girls about it, already." I giggled.
"You better!" Billy smiled. "If you try to worm out of it...we're coming to get you. I mean it." And they started to walk off down the hall. Then...Billy said something that really confused me. "Oh, and I'm sorry about what happened to Drew. That's really shitty man."
"What happened to Drew? What are you talking about?"
Joey added, "Oh yeah. How's he doing dude? Just let him know that we hope he keeps his head up, k?"
"No no...wait..." I said, even more confused before. "...I'm lost here. What happened to Drew?"
They looked at each other, as though I must have been hiding under a rock to have missed such a huge piece of information. Then Joey said, "The incident this morning? Right before school started?" I obviously still didn't get it, and Billy took over.
"We heard around school that a couple of guys...they kinda caught him in the halls before class this morning. They...they were pretty rough with him."
The shock and the anger took a hold of me simultaneously, and the thought of ANYONE putting their hands on Drew brought up a rage in me like you wouldn't believe! "WHAT??? What did they do to him???" I said, the frustration building faster than my ability to control it.
"They...they locked him in the janitor's closet. He was there for almost the whole first period of school. He didn't tell you ANY of this?"
"No....as a matter of fact, he didn't." Gritting my teeth, I only had one question that I needed answered. "Who did this?"
"Ethan..." Joey started, but this wasn't going to be something that I let slide. NOT this time!
"WHO DID IT?!?!?!" I shouted.
"Wayne...and a few other guys I guess. But..." I didn't let him finish that sentence. I just turned and got my things to walk away. "Ethan..." Joey called after me, but I just kept walking.
This was going to stop. I swear on everything holy, if I catch Wayne and his cronies laying a single FINGER on that beautiful boy ever again...I'm going to rip his FUCKING head off!!! Teaming up on someone so defenseless, someone so giving, so loving, so incredibly sweet...that I won't tolerate. Not now, not EVER!