Date: Thu, 25 Nov 1999 04:21:40 EST From: Banksiakid@aol.com Subject: "Once in a Lifetime" chapter one Do not read this if you are offended by homosexual love affairs, or if it is illegal to read or view such material. It is of an explicit nature.! ENJOY THIS STORY it is sweet. Once in a Lifetime Chapter 1 By Ian Sometimes life takes a turn for the worse and you are standing alone in the depths of despair wondering if it will ever turn around. I was right there, in that moment of total depression when I wanted to just die. Everyone hates me. I can't walk down the halls at school without people throwing things at me and calling out "Fag!" and "Queer!" I was abandoned by my boyfriend (which was a very meaningless and secretive relationship). My family rejects me, I've lost my best friend, everyone and everything seems to be pouncing on me....Not to mention my reputation for being some gay whore. I will give the background information now so you know me. I guess it all started last year when I was outted. Basically, everyone has always thought I was gay, I have never settled for being dull and boring, the things I do people label me "outrageous" because of the way I express myself. I have never felt the need to compromise my artistic integrity, because in a way when there is nothing left to hold on to, at least you can look in the mirror and be happy with who you are. My best friend has changed, she has become someone that I don't even understand. The last time I talked to her it seemed as if I was talking to a complete stranger, not someone who never left my side for nearly a year. And my boyfriend...during the summer abandoned me to another country and left no explanation, no reason, just a void empty relationship, really no different than how it was when he was here. It doesn't matter. Well my name is Tony. I won't pretend to be someone I am not, I guess that is why things are the way they are, because I don't ever act like things effect me, and I always seem the same. Well it all happened one day. I was at my lowest point. I live in Las Vegas, so it is easy to get around and it is easy to find somewhere to walk around cause it is a 24hour city. I took the public bus to Maryland Parkway which is a street that is just one of those areas where you feel comforted, because there are stores and things but it is a place where you can collect your thoughts, I have found myself wandering around there many times when I have suffered a big "trauma." I decided to go into the Tower Records store, music makes me feel better sometimes, just listening to music that relates to me is like my own therapy. I walked in, and cruised down a few of the aisles and then I saw him. The most perfectly beautiful specimen of male species you have ever seen. I am not bad looking myself, but I am not someone that you would take a second look at when passing on the street. People look at my clothes not me....back to the story. I saw him, looking in the "singles" section. Right then I noticed that I had been standing gawking for about 45 seconds when he turned around. He smiled...God he had green eyes. What an angel. I must have looked like I belonged in a mental institution but I finally broke my stare and turned the other way and walked over to the listening station. Slowly I turned around to see if he was still in the store....Yes he was...and he was coming this way. "God Tony what kind of mess have you gotten into now?" He looked at me and I said "Hi" he said ... "Whatsup, I was wondering if I could listen to that cd you are listening to, I don't mean to be rude, but I gotta go soon and I wanted to hear it to see if I wanted to buy it.." I said "Sure, no problem" ...I hope he couldn't sense the quiver in my voice...I handed him the headphones and turned to walk away, then he grabbed my arm and he was like "What do you think?" Obviously he was talking about the cd, but taking a step back and seeing his fabulous physique I really wanted to say.. "You are delicious looking.." Well I told him my thoughts on the cd, and that I had it already but I just came into listen to it because I didn't feel like going home and it was a long story etc. etc. Too much information for someone I just met huh? That's what I thought, but he was actually friendly and inquisitive for someone in a hurry. I talked to him for about 10 minutes before he said "Shit babe! I gotta go my break is almost over....Hey ummm well, bye ..yeah I guess ...bye" then he grabbed the cd and went to the counter. It took me a few minutes to process what I had just seen and what I had just heard come out of his mouth...did he really call ME "babe"? What was this? He's leaving he's perfect, and I have already seen a living angel and he called me babe and now he's off back to heaven...Fuck! Well that's my luck, I wasn't surprised, I have a perfect opportunity and I let it slip. On the way back to the bus stop by my house I thought and I thought, his face, his features, everything about him the tone in his voice, it was embedded in my brain....As I got off the bus, I was even lower than I had started out...and now I was confused. Ugh! Well before I walk back home I think I am gonna go get something to eat. I headed for MickeyD's ....Ah there is nothing like a large order of fries to drown away life's tiny sorrows... I was right about to leave, I decided to go to the bathroom, I was walking then someone tapped me on the back. Being fed up with everything and everybody I turned around and said rudely... "What now!" and fate gave him to me, he was standing in front of me, the same blond boy with the eyes of a tiger. My angel....He gave me a look and said "Whoa, are you ok? Do you remember me.." I tried to seem forgetful I didn't want him to know that he was the only person I had been thinking of for the past 4 hours! I finally spoke up... "Yeah you're the dude in the record store...who likes Savage Garden...Just bought the cd didn't you?!" he giggled this boyish laugh and said, "Yeah you got me." I gave him a puzzled look and he just smiled...He had perfect teeth...he was perfect, there had to be something wrong with him. Anyways I didn't know what to say or do and just said... "Well I was just about to walk home. It's weird how I've seen you twice today..." I continued jokingly... "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were following me..." then he gave me a puzzled look and said... "Nah I am just lucky to run into you twice." While he continued to talk the wheels in my head were turning, could he be hitting on me in some discreet way. I look gay in a way, I don't mean to but the small shirts and bell bottoms and backpack with teletubbies kind of give it away...Is he gay too? What am I going to do? I sat down again and he sensed my uneasiness... "Are you ok?" he asked...I said "Oh I'm fine, just kind of tired, and emotionally drained." He looked at me with those piercing eyes and enquired.. "What's eating you lately?" I didn't know how to respond...Why would I tell a complete stranger my problems...well in a way he's not a stranger, he seems to be the object of my fantasies and dreams...but in the flesh. I thought quickly and said to myself "What the hell? Go for it Tony!" For the next hour and a half I poured out my problems and emotions to this mystery man...I finally found out his name though, he said it was Brian. I talked and talked, and everything I said seemed to effect him, and I could see that he was genuinely interested, not exactly like a boyfriend, but as a concerned friend, someone eager to help. When everything was said and done I told him that I really needed to get home and I would start off...Then he refused to let me go and offered me a ride...I reluctantly accepted...I told him that I was so grateful for the ride and the way he gave me a short therapy session...I said "You can come in if you're not busy, I mean I have more to say to you, and I haven't heard anything about you yet we could get to know each other..." Suddenly a smile appeared on his face but it quickly faded when he realized how excited he appeared. Finally in my room, I threw my bag on the floor, took off my shoes and jumped onto my bed...I told him "Come on over here..." He seemed like a lamb the way he had to make sure it was ok, but then he jumped right next to me. "I'm sorry for acting like this I am just so fucking tired, of this, of everything, of life...I guess it takes a toll physically." I said...He looked at me and said.. "You are one of the coolest people I've ever met, I know this sounds cheesy but I guess I ran into you for reason." I looked at him and said, "A reason?" "A cosmic reason" he said "I think we met by fate, your outfit was totally adorable. It got my attention and once I saw you I couldn't look away." I laughed and fell off the bed...I was laughing out of joy of course, but Brian didn't realize it and headed for the door with tears in his eyes...I sprang up off the bed and pulled him "Where the fuck do you think you're going?" I said... "You are fucking laughing at me...It hurts too much to be here." I smiled again and pulled him back onto the bed.. "I am not laughing at you...I was just thinking of how much I felt the same way when I first saw you and the things you said were exactly the same. I laughed because of the coincidence and how perfect it was...Fate...I believe. I must have good Karma to come across someone like you.." He smiled sheepishly and said.. "Well, I wanted to run up and jump on you in McDonald's but I wasn't sure what to say...How did you know that I was gay...is it obvious?" "Oh no" I said... "You don't look gay like or anything, the way you called me "babe' before you left kind of gave it away... but I don't mind." .. "Really?" he said with stars in his eyes. "Yes! Well what are we going to do now that we have found each other, I want to be with you but I don't know your schedule or anything..." he smiled and said.. "Well I am 17, my birthday was last month, I don't go to school anymore, I dropped out, I couldn't handle it anymore...I don't know, I know how you feel, that's why I listened so much to you, because I have had those same things inside me, but I have never been able to say how I feel. You are good at being open...I love that about you..." with that Brian leaned in and planted a wet kiss on my unexpecting lips. I kissed him back...This was the brightest moment in my life! I mean I have had boyfriends and I have had flings, but they were nothing compared to this explosive feeling that overwhelmed my body. Brian looked at me and said, "Tony this is going to work....we have so much to learn about each other and so much to explore together. I know we just met but it seems like you have always been there in my thoughts. The epitome of love... I can't wait to be with you, or spend time with you, this opportunity is not going to go rotten, you are now stuck with me...this only happens once in a lifetime..." I could only sigh to myself and tell him that I wanted the same things, but the road would be long and bumpy...I knew we would survive...the ashes of my life were finally being swept up...I had a new inspiration...and he had a name, Brian...I knew this was a new beginning for me..and I knew I had to hold onto this...he was right this is something that comes along only "once in a lifetime." This is the end of chapter one...I hope you liked it...Please email me with your thoughts at Banksiakid@aol.com this is my first attempt at writing, and I have wanted to do it for the longest time, and believe me things will heat up between Brian and Tony next chapter...so stay tuned, I will try to finnish it ASAP! =) Thanks again for reading, I appreciate ur support luv...~ IAN~