A week later, Wyatt and I were still going strong. It got kind of difficult to keep it hidden from everyone, though. I thought I was in love with him before, but as each day went by that I saw him, that notion became more intensely rooted in my mind. Each day I got up, I got up because I knew I would see him or talk to him. It was definite motivation to get the hell out of bed, let me tell you. School passed in much the same fashion, except health class was all that much more fun now that Wyatt and I were together. I'll admit that I got a bit of a kick out of knowing something the rest of them didn't.
"Fuck you, Josh!"
"Oh, come on, Nick! You know you want it!" I told him as I waggled my eyebrows at him. Wyatt finally gave up on damming in the giggles, joining Britney and, surprisingly, Ling. For such a quiet girl, she had a wicked sense of humor.
"Josh, I swear, if you touch me I'll bite it off!" Nick's hands were in the classic ball-blocking pose, and I advanced with my own held out in front of me, claw-like.
"Nick, don't be such a prude! It'll be fun!" Wyatt said, closing in from behind him.
Nick should've been counting his lucky stars when Coach Woody broke in to start class. So, we're up to four with the damning now, right? Just how was I supposed to torture straight boys if he kept interrupting? Not only that, but I was wondering what Nick's reaction would be. Class passed by, but that incident stuck in my head. I decided to bring it up later when I took Wyatt home after school.
"Wyatt, you remember in Health today how we were picking on Nick?" I asked him as I pulled out of the lot. He nodded, his smirk not in the least bit covert. "Well," I continued, "It made me think. Aren't we kind of... I don't know... living vicariously through kidding around?"
"Josh, you're using big words."
"What I mean is we aren't really being truthful, and it just doesn't feel right."
"So what you mean is we should tell everybody?" He asked. His face scrunched just a little at the words `tell everybody'.
"No! I mean, maybe. Well, not everybody."
"Okay, can I give an idea?"
"Shoot." My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter even at the idea of telling everyone. Whatever Wyatt decided, though, was what I intended to go through with. I could handle telling everyone, but I wanted him to be comfortable.
"Okay, this is the way I see it." He took a deep breath, and paused for a second. His eyes were cloudy compared to their normal, unconcerned look. "We don't need to tell everybody right now. We can both pick one person to tell, and if that works out how we want, we can tell the people we want to."
I tilted my head slightly, raised my eyebrows, and nodded. "You're right. We shouldn't have to tell everybody, just the people we care about, and it's better to start slow."
"That's what I was thinking." He said, smiling at me. I took my eyes off the road long enough to note that the cloudiness had retreated from his eyes, which was a welcome relief. I pulled into his driveway, and we went to sit in his house for a while since his parents weren't home yet. I actually hadn't met them yet, but I didn't mention this to Wyatt. That might've been like pressuring him into something, I thought.
"So when do you want to do this?" I asked him after we situated ourselves on the couch. I couldn't resist snuggling up to him; he always smelled like a mix of cologne and some other scent I could never pin down. Maybe it was the detergent his clothes were washed in or something, but it was heavenly.
"Okay, how about tomorrow? That way we won't lose our nerve and wuss out." He said, returning my initial snuggle. Now my fingers were linked together on his side opposite me, and my face nuzzled against his neck. I looked up when he quit talking.
"That's fine with me. You want to just tell whoever we pick to meet us in the park after school? That would be the easiest thing to do, I think."
"That'd be great. One more thing, though, Josh." He said.
"I'm gonna kiss you now." Wyatt's smile faded as his face came closer to mine, and our lips connected. Every time I kissed him, it just got better. I took this to mean the conversation was over, and the matter settled.
Instead of ending, the kiss got longer, hotter, and more needful. My breath caught when I felt his hand on my crotch, and I accidentally bit down on his lip as I felt his fingers fumble at my zipper.
"Whoa, tiger, too fast for me." I said, pulling away shamefaced. He laughed and nodded.
"You're right. What if the first time my parents saw you was when they walked in on us making out on the couch in their living room? That really would make things awkward!" he said. I had never seen his parents except for in a picture on the living room wall; his parents had a look of aristocratic importance, and the idea of their faces when they walked in on us made me burst into giggles.
"Do you want to do it, though?" I asked, turning the conversation to a serious tone. Wyatt's smile persisted, though it was now understanding instead of humorous.
"Do I want to? Fucking right I do. But you're right that we should wait. As much as I wanna do it, it'll be better if we wait for a while until we know each other better." He said. I sighed with relief. I was always amazed at the way this boy could talk to me so frankly and simply.
"That's what I think, too." He wrapped me in a hug, and I breathed in a deep breath of Wyatt, my face buried in the soft scratchiness of his uniform polo shirt. Wyatt flicked on the TV, and we sat cuddled up for a while. Every now and then he had to fend off a tickle attack by yours truly, and every now and then we laughed for absolutely no reason at all. A perfect afternoon, really.
I was a nervous wreck as I walked up to my best friend Heather in the hall. She was standing in front of her locker switching out books as I approached with a rhythm of what seemed to be twenty heartbeats per footstep. I wasn't walking slowly, either.
"Hey Heather! Will you do me a huge favor?" I asked her. I really blurted it out so fast I was surprised she comprehended what I said. She gave me a strange look before replying.
"Hey Josh, whatcha need?"
"Will you meet me after school in the park? I have to talk to you about something really important, and I don't wanna do it here or over the phone."
"Okay... sure. Give me a ride home after? Amy can't wait around since she has to go to work right after school."
I nodded. "Yeah, I can give you a ride. Thanks Heather, I'll see you then."
"Alright, love you sexy!" she said before she started to walk down the hall. We've been really great friends for a while, but since I take mostly advanced classes we don't have any classes together. Most of the time we spend together is outside of school, anyway.
I made sure to get to health early and stood outside the door. I still didn't know who Wyatt was going to tell, and I wanted to be prepared. My plan worked, and I caught Wyatt coming down the hall.
"So who did you decide on?" I asked, wording my question carefully in case of prying ears.
"Decide on who for what?" We both turned around to see Nick behind us. Did I mention prying ears?
"Who he thinks is going to win the football game Friday." I replied quickly. While Nick launched into a drawn out explanation of why our team was definitely, certainly, and without question going to win, Wyatt jerked his head in Nick's direction. I nodded to let him know I caught the hint, and waited for Nick to wind himself down.
My nerves were absolutely shot by the end of the day. I'd never told anyone that I was gay before, and the only reason I was doing it now was because I was involved with Wyatt. Otherwise I'd have been happy to remain in my cozy little closet for a lot longer. It felt wrong to hide our relationship, though. Hiding it seemed almost the same as saying that there was something wrong with it.
I met up with Wyatt beside my old Dodge Spirit. He looked to be as nervous as I was. We climbed into my car without saying much and drove down the street to the park. As soon as we parked, I caught sight of Heather, but didn't see Nick anywhere.
"Well, are you ready?" I asked him.
"Yeah, let's go. I love you, Josh."
"I love you, too." We walked towards Heather, who had pulled out a cigarette and was now searching for a lighter. I clicked my lighter, announcing our presence to the distracted Heather. Without skipping a beat, she bent down, cupping the flame with her hand and igniting her cigarette. Her habit was a pack a day, but she never had a lighter, so I was used to this routine.
"So what is it that's so important you had to tell me after school?" she asked between drags. I took a seat on a bench, and Heather and Wyatt followed suit.
I tried to talk, but I couldn't seem to get to the point. "Well, I wanted to, that is, we wanted to tell you... umm, the other day me and Wyatt were at his house, and we were talking, and we decided that we should... I mean, it's that..." Heather snapped her fingers, cutting me off.
"Josh! It's Heather, not the Gestapo! Chill!" That made me laugh, and I calmed down.
"Heather, I wanted to tell you that I'm gay, and I'm with Wyatt." I finally said. She opened her mouth to reply, but didn't get a chance.
"What?!" Once again, Nick had managed to sneak up from behind. I spun around so quick my neck popped, with Heather and Wyatt matching my speed. Wyatt's face looked like the blonde's in a slasher flick right before she kicks the bucket.
"Nick!" Wyatt grasped for words. "It's not, I mean, it is, but..." Before he could collect himself, his stunned best friend started backing up. Concerned, I fixed my stare at Wyatt. His eyes were watery, but no tears fell. By the time I looked back at Nick, he had already turned and started to walk away.
"Damn." Heather said. That summed it up for me, too. Damn. If Heather had reacted that way, I don't know what I would have done. I wouldn't be holding up as well as Wyatt, though. He wasn't talking, wasn't crying. He wasn't doing anything.
"Are you okay?" I asked him. I didn't know what else to say. I had no clue what, if anything, was the appropriate way to offer sympathy. He jerked his head up and down once, keeping his silence.
I grabbed his hand, and he squeezed hard enough to make me wince. He was entitled to at least that, I thought.
Alright, there's another chapter rewritten. The storyline's gotten to be almost completely different from the original, hopefully a lot better and more realistic.
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