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Notice:
The
following contains graphic
descriptions of sexual acts between
young people. It is an original work of fiction, and has no basis in
reality.
Do not read
this story if:
- You're not 18 or over.
- If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live.
- If you don't want to read about gay/bisexual people in love or
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The author
retains Copyright ©
2005 to this story.
Reproducing this story for distribution without the author's permission
is a violation of that copyright.
Perry and
Jesse
The
Incredibly Romantic (and slightly
kinky) Adventures of Two Boys
In Love
Part V
Truths and Lies
Chapter 38:
Truths And Dares
I hurried
back downstairs and walked
into the middle of a joyous
rendition of "Deck The Halls." A long, glossy black, grand piano had
been
wheeled
into the middle of the great room and I was happily surprised to see
Tom pounding away at the keyboard, a look of intense concentration on
his cute, round face. But even
more astonishing was the sight of Jesse, replete with Santa
hat, and Jessica sharing a leather bound folio of Christmas lyrics,
standing in front of the piano and leading the rest of the group in
song.
It was
definitely a smaller
crowd than when I had snuck out to
the morning room with Jesse earlier. Notably missing in action were
Kyle and
Melissa, Deanna and Artim, and Morgan. I was sorry that Morgan had felt
compelled to slink out under such unfortunate circumstances, but I
couldn't
help but think that there was something to Noah's warning. Morgan
really wasn't the same guy who had taken me under his wing at the
beginning of the 7th grade. He was a boy with serious
problems. I didn't know if he did a lot of drinking, but clearly he
had a fondness for wine, and I wouldn't be shocked if his dad indulged
him with a beer now
and then. He also had a quick and
violent temper, as Derek, myself, the unfortunate basketball player
from St.
Luke's, and now Kyle, had discovered.
And
then there was the whole thing about him being physically attracted to
me. While I knew that he really did care for me as a close guy
friend, I also knew that his lust for my body wasn't a healthy thing,
nothing like
the warm and energizing love of my beautiful angel. As I watched
Katy standing
there without a partner, a hearty Mulroney smile plastered on her
pretty, lightly freckled
face, I wondered what she was getting out of her relationship with the
captain of the basketball team. I was both relieved and surprised to
discover that she knew
nothing at all about the problems that had been plaguing him these past
few months. How he managed to keep all those fierce internal struggles
concealed from someone as bright and sensitive as Katy Mulroney was a
mystery to me.
I went
over to stand by her,
and she held her leather bound
folder
open so we could both read the lyrics. Now that I was standing next to
her, I could see the lines of worry on her face and the slight, watery
shimmer in her bright green eyes. She reached over with her free
hand and found mine. She wrapped her fingers tightly around my fingers
and
squeezed. I squeezed back.
The
caroling went on for a
good half an hour, and it was after 8:30
when Tom was finally given a break. Under Jessica's careful
supervision, Harvey, Eric, and Artim (who had shown up looking more
than a
little
disheveled about ten minutes before the singing wrapped up), wheeled
the piano back into the adjacent music room. The long tables Noah and I
had so painstakingly dragged in from the pool house, still full of
constantly replenished desserts and
candies, interspersed
with bowls of punch, hot cider
and egg nog, were moved aside,
leaving a very large open space in the middle of
the great room.
"I hope
everyone is having a
wonderful time tonight," Jessica announced
to the room at large,
coming to stand next to me. "It's time now for a little dancing, and
Eric Adams has kindly put together a very nice CD compilation with a
lot of really awesome
tunes. Of course, I told him to keep in mind that we would be in formal
dress," she noted, curtsying in her lavish black and silver gown, "and
based on his selections, I think he took that to
heart. Thank you, Eric." Everyone applauded Eric, who
just waved away the
attention. "But before we play Eric's party mix, we're first going to
hear the
lovely waltz from Tchaikovsky's
ballet, Sleeping
Beauty."
There was some slight grumbling, but Jessica
ignored it.
"A young
girl has many dreams
and fancies, and as she starts to get to
that special age where we are now, it's possible for some of those
dreams to start coming true," she began, as if this were a rehearsed
speech. "When Perry
Thompson first walked into our classroom at the beginning of the 7th
grade, a shaggy-haired, bashful, skinny, freckle-faced boy, I
had no
idea that he would become part of those dreams and fancies. But in
fact, to
me, he is a dream come true, one of the most beautiful boys I've ever
seen on TV or in real
life." There was some polite applause; I wondered how I could possibly
keep my cheeks from glowing the ferocious red
color that was now radiating from my face. I didn't dare look over at
Jesse, who had gone to stand dutifully with Merissa. "And one thing
I've always
imagined since I was a little girl, was waltzing around this great big
room with the boy of my dreams." Jessica stepped back and extended her
arm, her wrist elegantly bent in presentation.
The music
started right on
cue, filling the room with the lush
sounds of a full symphonic orchestra. I actually recognized the music
from the Disney version of Sleeping
Beauty. Mrs.
Bainbridge
and some of the
other parents were standing huddled in one corner, well away from the
kids, looking well pleased. I just stood there until Katy
gave me a remarkably forceful shove. There were a few titters and
snickers as I stumbled over to where Jessica
was waiting and she offered me her
hand. Having been forced to take some ballroom dancing lessons in
school last year, I
had a pretty good idea what I was supposed to do, and led her to the
middle of the room.
While I
had discovered, at
Katy's un-Halloween party, that I enjoyed
dancing, this was
pure mechanics for me: waltzing in formal fashion around
Jessica's house,
twirling first by the stone mantle and passing the double -doored entry
way before
catching a pungent whiff of pine from the
towering evergreen as we sailed by
it's opulently decorated boughs. People's faces went by
in a blur and I was glad. I was so confused by what had happened this
afternoon with Jessica, that it seemed easiest not even to think about
it at all. Of course, the person I most didn't want to
look in the
eye right now was Jesse.
When I
made the mistake of
looking up from my feet and into Jessica's
gold-speckled eyes, I
felt a strange tingle go through my whole body. The way she was looking
at me, you'd think she was waltzing with Kirk Vandriss himself. She was
totally caught up in this, and while I knew the reality was something
quite different, at this moment in time I really was her dream boy. I
gave her a warm smile, realizing this was her day. She had laid her
plans carefully, setting it up so that we would have time
alone in
the afternoon to pursue her more prurient interests, while the evening
would be devoted to fulfilling some of her romantic
notions.
When the
waltz finally ended,
everyone applauded. There was only a
momentary pause, and then the pounding rhythms of a club version of
'Jingle Bells' filled the great room with pulsing electronic ostinutos
and synthesized bells. People found their partners and soon
joined Jessica and me in the typical gyrating, freestyle dance of our
generation. Remembering the way it had happened at Katy's house, I let
myself slip back into that mode, not giving
a lot of thought to what any particular part of my body was doing, but
just feeling the groove of the music and letting myself become part of
it. Sure, Jessica was still within touching distance, but
this
was really a dance of individual expression, with only the occasional
smile or nod acknowledging the other people in the room. I could see
the girls in long gowns and high heels being forced to keep their moves
simple and restricted, but it seemed like everyone was having a
good time regardless. After the first heavily rhythmic track, the
following
selections were slightly more laid back rhythm and blues and a bit of
bump and grind, although, with the Bainbridges and several other
parents looking on from the sidelines, there really wasn't much bumping
or grinding going on.
I noticed
Deanna had
reappeared sans blazer, allowing
her more freedom of movement than most of the other girls. She really
looked in her element, bouncing vigorously to the beat despite her
bulk, while skinny and
gangly Harvey did his
best to stay out of her way. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of
sympathy for Goreski's cousin; Jesse had made a fool of her twice now,
and I had to wonder how close she really was to her uncle's son.
The picture of his broad, flat-nosed face resting on an almost
invisible stump of a neck, standing right in front of me in that stall
in the fellowship hall of St. Agnus' caused me to shiver, and I just
had
to steal
an occasional glance at Merissa and
Jesse. He had removed
his Santa hat and his long, golden blond hair, which now touched his
shoulders, looked as lustrous as
some of the fancy satin dresses swirling about the room. It was no
surprise to me
that Jesse was a great dancer, his moves effortlessly fluid and
deliberate. The
subtle movements of his hips and arms worked together to give him a
sexy and sultry look that would have caught the attention of everyone
on
the dance floor of any club
on the Sunset Strip. I would have loved to slowdance with him all
night. By contrast, Merissa, in her garishly red
Christmas
dress, looked awkward and childish as she bobbed around a little too
frantically, weaving back and forth around my beautiful, blonde
boyfriend.
At the
beginning of a mellow
Brian McKnight tune, Jessica gave me a
little
nudge and gestured subtly toward Katy, who was standing behind one of
the food tables, bouncing lightly to the beat all by herself. I
nodded and went over to ask her to dance. She smiled bashfully,
and only after receiving a confirming glance from Jessica,
extended
a hand. Despite being encumbered by a
floor-to-neck ball gown, Katy moved with effortless grace and I
followed along, watching her swaying hips and enjoying our few moments
together.
After the
fourth tune, I was
ready for a break. A few of the other
couples had also broken off, some even leaving the confines of the
great room. Those that were still dancing had changed partners, and I
saw Jessica bopping around with Jesse while Katy was busy gyrating next
to
Eric, who was doing a slick and funny hiphop thing, even though the
music was
really a
little
too laid back for that style. I thought briefly of what Morgan had
said, but dismissed his concerns about our easygoing team mate. I was
pretty sure Eric and Jamaica were a couple, despite his playful denial
at the game last week.
After a
refreshing cup of ice
cold punch, I headed for the bathroom.
When I came
out, Tom was standing there, looking a little worse for wear, his
cheeks still flushed from his musical efforts, his light
gray jacket slung over his
shoulder and his tie hanging loosely from his neck.
"Hey,
Tom! Having a good time?"
He
nodded, but the look on his
face was less than joyful.
"You were
great on the piano.
I mean, dude, what can you not do well?" I
asked in genuine awe of my friend's endless gifts.
He
shrugged. "Thanks," he
muttered half-heartedly. "But obviously,
there are plenty of
things I'm totally lame at."
At that
point, the
conversation seemed to peter out and we stood there
in the hallway, exchanging awkward glances.
"So,
you'll be gone for two
weeks, huh?" Tom asked.
"Yeah.
But it'll go fast with
Christmas and my dad's wedding."
"Fast for
you," Tom noted
sullenly.
"So,
what're you guys doing
over the break?" I asked, ignoring
his comment.
He
shrugged. "Nuthin' much. My
mom's got people in Riverside, so we'll
probably go there at some point, and we'll probably have Christmas at
my uncle's, now that my abuelita's gone."
I
remembered the remarkably
detailed drawing of Tom's grandmother that
he had shown me in his studio. Even though it didn't make any real
sense, I felt like I somehow knew her just from viewing that
meticulously crafted
work.
"And you
and Derek-"
"Can we
talk somewhere, like
private?" Tom asked, a pained expression
on his smooth, round face.
I tried
not to show my
apprehension. It wasn't
that
I didn't care for him or his feelings--he was one of the most precious
people in my life right now, but to go through another
emotional encounter tonight, after Jessica, Morgan, Noah, Jesse and
Kyle,
just seemed like more than I could bear.
"Are you
feeling okay?" I
asked, stalling for time.
He
shrugged and nodded
unconvincingly.
"Jessica
and Martha are
probably looking for us already," I reminded
him.
I saw
Tom's shoulders sag in
disappointment. "Sure, yeah. Whatever."
He turned to head back to the great room.
I quickly
caught up with him.
"Wait," I said, and opened the door
to the small office where Katy, Jessica and I had spoken for a few
minutes earlier in the day.
Fortunately,
the room was
empty. I gestured for Tom to go in and I
followed, closing the door behind me. We just stood there again,
exchanging those same awkward looks.
"So...uh...what's
up?" I asked
with pointed hesitancy.
I saw the
bland expression on
his face tighten into a frightening mask
of anger and
frustration. "This is stupid. I'm stupid. I don't know what I'm doing
here," Tom
berated himself. He turned to head back out but I caught his shoulder
and turned him to face me.
"Wait
Tom, please. You look
so...sad."
That
seemed to trigger
something inside and he suddenly looked like he
was going to cry. I could see his chest
heaving as he took in several deep breaths to calm himself.
"I tried
so hard..." he
muttered.
I glanced
over at the closed
door, wishing now that I had thought to
lock it as well.
"With
Derek?"
"No," he
shook his head
impatiently. "With you--I mean, without
you--I mean, trying to not...think
about you that way. But the way you look tonight...I mean, how
could anyone not notice?"
"Notice
what?"
"I hate Jessica!" Tom
spat,
turning and slamming his balled fist on the top of the desk.
"Wh-what?"
I stuttered, as I
nearly jumped out of my suit.
"I hate
seeing all those girls
ogling you, lining up in front of the
mistletoe, kissing you like you were some kinda prize. And it pisses me
off
to hafta just stand there and watch."
"You
mean, you still have
feelings for me?"
"Duh!" he
laughed coldly. "I
mean, when do you think they
stopped? After I creamed
myself in your room? After I bit your foot? After you caught me jacking
off with your socks?" I cringed, hoping no one was standing outside the
room, listening in. He laughed again in a harsh, self-deprecating
way. "Obviously, everything's under control there." Clearly his
emotions were still getting the better of him and his lip was
trembling. He
turned his back, resting his palms on the front of the desk, but I
could still sense how wound up he was.
"Hey,
Tom--look!" I got the
mistletoe out of my pocket and held it over
my head, giving him a big, cheery smile when he turned. "Merry
Christmas!"
But
instead of rushing up and planting a big wet one on my lips, he looked
at me like I had just shot his mother. Slowly, I felt my smile
collapse.
"What the
fuck is this?" Tom
asked, somewhere between anger and tears.
"Some sort of pity thing?"
I felt my
cheeks flush with
embarrassment. "Gees, Tom...I didn't
mean-"
"I know
you didn't...I know,"
he assured me quickly, again taking more
deep
breaths in an attempt to get his emotions under control. "This is all my
fault," he muttered through clenched teeth, half turning away again.
I quietly
slipped the
mistletoe back in my pocket. Even though I did
feel sorry for
him, I also realized that he wasn't looking for pity and I suddenly
felt
ashamed of myself.
"Know
what would make a great
Christmas present?" he asked in a
strangely cold voice.
I shook
my head warily.
"Suckin'
your dick!" He paused
to let the words sink in, and there was
nothing close to a smile on his face. "Yeah, I
wanna get down on my knees and suck it until it's hard and pulsing. I
wanna feel it in my mouth, roll my tongue around it. I wanna drink
your cum so bad."
"You're
joking right?" And
when that didn't get a response..."C-can't
you do that with Derek?" I asked, trying to not look as
shocked and disgusted as I felt.
"Perry...por
favor...Sometimes
I think you're...you're so dense. What does Derek have to do
with...with anything? He's just a friend, a
horny guy that gets off messing around with another horny guy just cuz
it's easy. That's all there is
to it, and sooner or later, he's gonna get sick of it. And when
he
does, who knows? Maybe he'll just decide to turn around and kick my
sorry gay
ass--him and some of his jock buds cuz just maybe he doesn't want to
be
associated with a horny, pathetic
joto like me!"
"Tom!" I
cried out. "Stop...please...."
Tears
were trickling from his
reddened face now. What kind of friend
was I? What kind of person was I to cause such misery to the people I
cared for the most?
"I'm just
a stupid little
cocksucker," he noted through gritted teeth.
We
both stared uneasily at
each other and it was like Tom was offering me a dare.
"Fine," I
said quietly, and
then with more determination, "fine." I went over
and locked the door. "Let's do it
then." I stood in front of him and tugged down the zipper of my dress
pants.
Tom
looked at me and then down
at my crotch. He was obvious. Of course,
there wasn't
much to see, except for maybe a hint of my boxers. I wasn't hard or
anything. It seemed like he was tempted, and his eyes narrowed. But
then his
face again
took on
that tightened, squinty look of anger.
"Stop
it!" He stepped
away from me,
deliberately avoiding looking down at my unzipped pants.
"But you
said-"
"I know what I said,"
he
responded in a pained voice. "But
don't you get it? I know you, Perry. I know you don't really want me to
do it but you'll let me do it just cuz you have some crazy idea that
you-you have to do everything
your
friends want or...or I don't know what. You think they'll be mad at you
or you'll go to Hell or something."
Okay,
this was by far the
worst moment of the party so far. Tom was
more upset than I'd ever seen him before, and I shuddered to think that
I was a big part of the cause.
"I do
want to make you happy,
Tom," I insisted, still standing there
with my fly open. "Just tell me what you want from me," I pleaded.
Quite
suddenly, he lunged at
me. I thought of pushing him away as
I had Al-Jihuad's minion at Hode Ranch, but instead, I just stiffened,
prepared to take a beating if that was what it took to make Tom feel
better about himself and about us. I just stood there, cringing. My
eyes
were closed, and when, after a good thirty seconds,
nothing of a violent nature occurred,
I slowly opened them. I also remembered to start breathing again.
Tom had
actually moved away,
further into the room. He plopped down on
the small paisley sofa and held his head in his hands. "Ha, that
would just top it all off, wouldn't it? Here I am, with the boy
I love more than anything,
and I'm going to beat him up because...Ha, what a pendejo I am! What a
fucked-up
idiot!"
I zipped
up, walked over, and sat beside him. After a few agonizing
heartbeats of silence, I carefully put my arm around his back. He
didn't move away, but I could feel the tension in his muscles.
He could have seriously benefited from Jessica's kneading fingers, and
I wondered for a moment if getting a massage like that from a pretty
girl would make him hard the way it had done for me. Finally, he turned
his head toward me, his eyes brimming,
but no tears
shed.
"You were
gonna let me, huh?"
he asked fearfully.
"It's
okay if you need to hit
me, or something," I assured him. "I
deserve it for making you feel this way."
Tom
laughed uncomfortably and
then released a heavy sigh. "I meant the
bj. You'd have let me go through with it, huh?"
I
shrugged. "I can't stand to
see you suffer like this...because of me."
"You
would've liked it," he
said with sudden enthusiasm, and then he
slouched. "No, you don't
deserve any of this."
"I'm so
sorry I make you feel
like this," I apologized.
Tom
snorted. "It's not you,
Perry. For whatever crazy reason, God made
me this way. I thought
maybe it was cuz I wanted to be an artist. Artists are supposed to
suffer, ya
know? And what could be better for that than turning a guy into a fag?"
I had
never
seen Tom so bitter and sarcastic before, and it frightened me.
"But why
would he make me fall
in love with someone I can't have? That
just seems so...cruel."
"You're
already a great artist. Even Father Marlen says so."
"God
forgive me for saying so,
but the Padre creeps me out," Tom
announced.
Well,
that was somewhat
understandable. The good Father always did seem
to have an air of mystery about him. It was easy to go a week or more
without seeing him anywhere, and then one day, it seemed like he would
just suddenly be there, quietly observing, strolling along, or casually
chatting with a
member of
the faculty or even a student. He had that mellow, deliberate way of
speaking and he was careful to hide whatever emotions he experienced
behind an
impassive mask of serene gentility. The only place he seemed to show up
with any consistency was at baseball games and the occasional
practice, and that made some sense
now, knowing that he had been a pitcher in his youth.
"I think
he's okay. He talked
to Jesse and me really nice after
Mass. Told us about when he was a kid and stuff. It was kinda funny."
"You guys
didn't get in
trouble?"
"Well,
yeah, I guess we did.
We have to help him straighten out
his studio or something like that, but not till school starts up
again."
Tom
nodded, and for the first
time since we had met outside the
bathroom, a small grin played across his face. "You were laughing
about Jesse's rod, huh?"
I blushed
but nodded
sheepishly. "I don't know why. It just sounded
so...funny."
I also couldn't help smiling as I recalled the giddiness I'd felt while
the Father was reading that prophecy from the Old Testament.
"It was
fuckin' hilarious,
but...don't you think
that was just a little bit...gay?" Tom asked
cautiously. "I mean,
thinking about Jesse's, y'know...rod?"
I
stiffened and realized I was
swimming in dangerous waters.
"Was it?" I asked stupidly.
"I bet
Jesse started it, huh?"
Tom asked before I could respond. "That
guy's got a wicked sense of humor--totally bizarre."
"Yeah, I
guess it takes some
getting used to," I admitted, remembering
the first time I had been exposed to Jesse's strange sense of humor at
his apartment, back in early November. The first time we had seen each
other naked. That seemed so long ago now....
But Tom
just shrugged it off.
"It was
funny," he declared, the smile
broadening on his flushed face. It seemed like he had lost some of his
anger, and I saw he wasn't breathing as heavily any more. The way his
big brown eyes swam
now with unshed tears made him look like a
magically impish boy out of some fantastical painting. I
imagined a
swirling purple and orange
sky filled with dragons with wings the size of school buses, wearing
long stocking caps, and towering
castles made of Skittles, encrusted with a translucent rainbow
assortment of
Jolly Ranchers, and in the midst of it all, a
beautiful mocha-skinned boy with
bright, shining eyes standing there, clutching a baseball, staring
in wonderment at it all.
"What?"
Tom asked, with a wary
smile.
"I was
just thinking that
you'd look great in a painting. Have you ever
tried to do a self portrait?"
Tom's
face fell. "That would
be a total waste. When I take the time
to create something, I want it to be beautiful, something
that'll give people pleasure. Staring at my ugly mug would just give
people gas or something."
I laughed
but Tom didn't. This
was no joke to him.
"You
mean, you really don't
like the way you look?" I asked with
genuine
astonishment.
Tom
snorted. "Shit. Look at
you. Look at Jesse. How could I ever
compare to you guys?"
"Jesse
doesn't think he's
particularly good looking," I assured him.
"And, well, you know what I think about myself," I added sheepishly.
"It
doesn't matter
though...about myself, I mean. What's the difference
what I look like? I'm still a fag. Me gusto ninos! I like boys!" he
reminded me bitterly.
"Well,
for what it's worth, I
think you are...good looking, I mean. Everyone does. Katy wouldn't have
invited you to her party otherwise."
That
seemed to throw Tom for a
loop, and he didn't seem to have a
sarcastic reply ready to fire back.
"Hehe...That's
kinda gross.
Inviting people to a party cuz of their
looks.
How come she didn't invite Jesse?"
"I think
cuz he was new and
they didn't have anyone to match him up
with."
"Oh yeah,
like me and Dana
were a match made in Heaven." He managed a
lopsided grin. "You really think I'm good looking?"
I
shrugged with embarrassment.
"Sorry. I
didn't mean to put
you on the spot. I mean, that's
cool...that you
think I'm...okay to look at. Thanks." His cheeks were definitely tinted
that rosy brown tone that meant he was blushing.
I decided
it would be better
if I just kept my mouth shut at this
point, so I waited for Tom to say something, but he just sat there,
staring at his hands in his lap. "It's hard sometimes, thinking
about...you know...what might've been...like, what could've happened if
things had been a little different, if you were like...aw, nevermind!"
he sighed frustratedly.
Tom
Espinoza was a very cute,
bright-eyed boy, and with all his
incredible
talents, a genuinely remarkable person. I had to wonder if, under
different
circumstances--like if Jesse hadn't shown up this year--we might have
somehow
gotten together in the way he wanted. After all, he had outted himself
to me one traumatic afternoon, and as far as I could tell, that had
nothing to do with Jesse. While I felt
none of the overwhelming passion for him that I did for Jesse, it
seemed possible that, given some time and a little tentative
experimentation, that
maybe we could have eventually gotten involved in something that would
have
satisfied both of us.
"Sorry,"
Tom apologized
quickly. "Another stupid thing to say. It's
just that, you're so nice to me, sometimes I forget you're straight!"
"I dunno.
I don't feel very
nice most of the time," I confessed. "Seems
like I keep messing up peoples' lives--especially my friends'...."
"You're
wrong there," Tom
pointed out unhesitatingly. "You're a good guy,
a really good guy, and if you have a fault it's maybe just that
you...you know...you try too hard to please everybody."
He'd
really hit the nail on
the head there. I had the sudden epiphany
that maybe, if I was less concerned about other people's feelings, and
what they thought about me, that I could focus more on Jesse. He
certainly deserved my full and undivided attention. Still, to
just dump Jessica, to tell Tom and Morgan to go solve their own
problems, to ignore my younger cousin Derrin...I just couldn't turn my
back on any of them.
"Derek's
okay, you know," Tom
said, shaking me out of my brief reverie.
"I shouldn't of said those things about him. That wasn't fair."
"Yeah, he
seems okay to me
too," I added, thinking of poor, confused,
frustrated Derek sobbing his bright green eyes out behind the school
that morning almost a month ago, after writing Jesse a very explicitly
sexual note.
"Jessica
really, really likes
you, huh?" Tom asked uncomfortably. It
was if he was trying to make peace with me once again.
"She can
be a little pushy and
stuck up
sometime," I admitted, "but I guess to me, she's pretty hot."
"I know.
I can still tell a
pretty girl from an ugly one," he giggled.
"Personally, I think Jessica's the prettiest girl in our class, but
don't straight
guys like chi
chis grandes...um...big
boobies, like Melissa's?"
I
shrugged. "I don't really
know much about...uh...boobs," I admitted.
"Deanna has big boobs and I don't feel attracted to her--at all."
I paused and shrugged. "This is all pretty new to me."
"Me too,"
Tom agreed.
We sat in
contemplative
silence for a few minutes. I could hear the
muffled sound of dance music drifting in from the great room. It
was after nine, and I knew the evening would soon be drawing to a
close, and none too soon for me.
"Feeling
better?" I asked.
Tom
looked at me for a long
time, first with an unreadable expression
on his face. Then a thin smile formed and his eyes seemed to
brighten once again.
"So
you're gonna be okay?" I
asked hopefully.
He
shrugged and then nodded
uncertainly. "I'm sorry if I said
some...bad things
before."
"Horny
bastard!" I joked.
"Red silk
boxers with
Christmas trees!" he fired back.
I was
momentarily stunned that
he had caught that clear a glimpse of my
underwear, but after all, I'd been the one to unzip. I stuck out
my tongue to cover my embarrassment. "Bite me!"
"Been
there; done that," Tom
pointed out sarcastically. But he was
still smiling. "I wish I had a picture of
you, wearing just those boxers and a Santa
hat!"
"Jesse
has a Santa hat," I
pointed out.
"And I
bet we could get a
camera from Jessica!" he added
excitedly. "And fuck the boxers!"
I just
looked at him in shock.
Then he burst into heartfelt
laughter. "Gotcha!" he said.
I rolled
my eyes in relief. He
tentatively reached over and touched my
arm through my suit coat.
"Friends?"
he asked hopefully.
"Always."
Tom and I
tried to slip back
into the great room unnoticed during one
of
the more boisterous tunes. But I hadn't even recovered from the shock
of seeing Artim and Deanna freak dancing when Jessica caught sight of
me.
"There
you are!" she declared,
not bothering to ask where I had been
nor acknowledging Tom in anyway. Instead, she grabbed me by the arm and
pulled me into the middle of the yuletide mosh pit, a small, churning
sea of teenagers glistening with perspiration in their fancy dresses,
suits, and
sweaters.
Fortunately,
there was only
one more song, after which everyone
applauded Eric once more for his Christmas mix. Then a traditional
version of "Jingle Bells" began
playing over the speaker system.
"Ho, ho,
ho!" came a robust
voice from underneath an arch that led to
the music room, an area marked as off limits to us party go-ers.
The short and stocky figure of Mr. Bainbridge, dressed in full Santa
regalia, was still clearly recognizable
behind the
thick white beard. He was carrying a big red velvet bag, which he
carefully
set down next to
the Christmas tree. He went through the usual Santa routine and asked
who'd been naughty and nice in a surprisingly deep and resonant
tone, before finally reaching into his
bag to start
distributing the Secret Santa gifts. Since there was a twenty dollar
limit, no one was expecting anything fancy, but it was sort of fun
seeing who got what from whom.
The
outside of the wrapped
gift contained only the name of the
recipient. You had to open it to discover who your Secret Santa was.
Jessica announced that we would all open our gifts at the same time,
but that didn't stop the more curious and impatient members of the
class from shaking, probing, and otherwise scrutinizing their gift in
agonizing detail as they waited for all of the packages to be
distributed.
"Please
be sure to thank your
Secret Santa!" Jessica reminded everyone
before they started tearing off the wrapping paper. I
was about to ask Jessica what she had gotten and from whom, when she
made a distasteful face and held up a framed (and autographed) photo
of Kyle in his football uniform,
looking appropriately suave and jock-like. I felt a little frisson
of
fear, knowing what I knew about him and Miss Zimmerman. The easiest
thing
for now was simply to push it to the back of my mind. It was a problem
that would have to wait until the new year.
Jessica
quickly put the framed
photo back in its box and closed it up,
setting it carelessly on a nearby end table. While they had dated
some last year, and Kyle was a good looking guy, I still felt a
small swelling of manly pride knowing that she preferred me over the
captain of the football team.
Tom got a
nice set of
paintbrushes from Katy, a thoughtful and useful gift. I
was glad to see the surprised look on Jesse's face as he unwrapped a
hard bound copy of Dune.
For twenty bucks, it was probably used, but it looked like it was in
great condition. He looked somewhat dumbfounded at first, but then went
over to thank Soon-ji with a grateful hug. She seemed startled but well
pleased to be getting this kind of attention from the hottest boy in
our class and I could tell
he was asking her how she knew that was one of his favorite books. She
shrugged modestly, wringing her hands the whole time. Then he turned to
catch my eye across the room and gave me a knowing wink. I
put on my best blank expression, pretending not to know what he was
going on about.
I watched
Martha as she
carefully removed
the green foil wrapping paper from her small gift. She opened the red
velvet box and after reading the name card, opened her eyes wide as she
searched me out. I
hadn't actually wanted her to catch me observing her, but now that she
had, I
smiled bashfully. Soon she came up and gave me a rather wet and
noisy peck on the cheek, pretty much the same treatment I had gotten
earlier in the evening, when she had taken her turn kissing me under
the mistletoe.
Do you
like it?" I asked
uncertainly.
"Me gusto
mucho," she assured
me, and gave me another kiss. She handed
me the bronze chain link and
turned so that I could put it on her, lifting her thick mop of course
black hair. She turned and beamed at me, the small, stained glass
crucifix nicely reflecting the small, twinkling lights on the Christmas
tree.
Finally,
I unwrapped my gift,
which was also in a small cardboard box,
this one wrapped in silver
foil
printed with a poinsettia pattern and tied with a fancy bow of silver
and gold. I looked at the card and smiled knowingly when I saw it was
from Jessica. Inside was a small, blue velvet-covered box, not unlike
the one I had given to Martha. I opened it and
nearly dropped it when I realized it was a ring! I looked at Jessica
with disbelief. For one terrifying and confusing moment, I thought
Jessica was
proposing to me! But I finally blinked my eyes and came back to my
senses, my heart pounding furiously from my imaginary scare.
Scrutinizing the ring more closely, I realized the silver band set with
turquoise had to be worth much
more than twenty dollars.
"It's
okay," she assured me,
probably seeing my look of skepticism. She
rubbed her hand along my arm. "It
belonged to my grandfather. Mother and
Father said I could give it to you. And besides, it's like a companion
piece to
the antique brooch you gave me," she pointed out quickly.
While it
definitely broke the
rules of the gift exchange, it was
Jessica's party and Jessica's house, and if I looked at it as an
exchange of family jewelry, maybe it wasn't such an outrageous gift
after all. Of course, she hadn't known about the brooch--or had she?
"Do you
like it?" she asked
anxiously.
"It's too
much," I complained
gently.
"Maybe
for any other boy; not
for you. It's just right," she assured
me. "Go on, look at the inscription."
I took
the ring out of it's
case and was surprised at its substantial
weight. I held it close enough to see the scroll-style etching on the
inside of
the thick silver band: P
& J
Xmas 2003.
"You do
like it!" she squealed
with relief, squeezing my arm.
That's
when I realized I was
smiling. Perry
and Jesse Xmas 2003.
What could be sweeter?
"Look
inside the box," Jessica
urged.
I lifted
the small cardboard
frame that had supported the ring to
reveal a wallet sized
portrait of the two of us at Katy's party:
Jessica beaming as if she were a hunter who had just bagged her first
grizzly bear and me, before my haircut, with my shaggy mop of
dysfunctional hair spraying out in all directions, staring cluelessly
in the general direction of the
camera. I only vaguely recalled the moment, with Katy excitedly
snapping pictures of all the couples at the small gathering. I
turned
it over and red the tiny, meticulous
writing on the back.
Dear
Perry,
you are
the boy of my dreams
and I cherish every moment we spend
together. I hope that our relationship will continue to blossom
throughout
the rest of our time at St. Boniface and beyond.
Love,
Jessica
Beyond?!
I swallowed a
lump in my throat. For some reason, the
image of getting kicked in the ass by Deanna Kennedy behind the
basketball court and falling into a pungent bed of pine needles came
vividly to
mind. Jessica wanted to have a serious relationship.
She wanted me to take her virginity. She wanted to marry me. She wanted
to bear my children and go to the Emmys with me! I felt suddenly
woozy and quickly plopped
into the nearest chair, oblivious to the fancy scrolling on the high
back, or the expensive fabric of the upholstery supporting my pathetic
ass. Jessica quickly
came up, a puzzled look on her face.
"Is
something wrong?"
I quickly
shook my head and
forced a smile onto my face. "No...thanks,
it's just that...it's been a lot today...a lot of stuff
and...really...it's all really...nice."
"Let me
put it on!" she said
excitedly. I started to lift her hand. "On
you, silly!" she
giggled.
I held
out my left hand and I
breathed a sigh of relief as she slipped
it on my index finger rather than my ring finger. She held my newly
bejeweled hand and scrutinized it.
"It's
beautiful," she said,
stroking the top of my hand. She
stared at me expectantly, rocking impatiently on her heels. Then I
remembered and pulled my Kenneth Cole wallet out. I dutifully took
Jessica's photo
and carefully inserted it into the little clear plastic holder that was
probably meant for a driver's license.
"Now you
can take me with you
to New York," she said, leaning over and
giving me a kiss on the cheek. I wondered if I now had a big red
lipstick stain on the side of my face, but I was afraid to wipe it off
and hurt her feelings.
I nodded,
still confused and
overwhelmed by the awful predicament I
had gotten both of us into. I already had the crucifix and the
friendship band, a turquoise flavored candy cane in my pocket, and now
the ring. It seemed like it was Jessica's plan to cover me from head to
toe with baubles that would constantly remind me of my obligation to
her. That's when I noticed Jesse staring at us
from across the room. He still had on his Santa hat and was clutching
his new copy of Dune like a prized possession. While the expression on
his face seemed cheerful enough, I was sure he had seen Jessica slip
the ring on my finger and I felt my stomach twist.
"Are you
sure there's nothing
bothering you?" she asked again.
Should I
tell her that she was
wasting her time with me because
I was already in love with someone she could never compete with,
someone with beautiful golden blond hair and crystal blue eyes, the
wisdom of a forty year
old, and a really cute dick that
poked almost straight out when it was erect? Or should I tell her that
her brother was gay, had tried to seduce me in the pool house, and had
told me in explicit detail about his
long and passionate affair with Gene's older brother back in high
school? Or should I just tell her why Kyle and I had been talking by
the pool and why Morgan had reacted so violently? Fortunately, I was
saved from having to fabricate a passable lie by a full-bodied ho
ho ho from Mr.
Bainbridge. "Is
there a Jessica Bainbridge here?" he asked in a jovial
voice.
Jessica
smiled uncertainly at
me and raised her hand childishly, her
expression changing quickly to a more contrived expression of joy as
she skipped over to
stand next to her father.
"I wonder
if you could see
that every good boy and girl gets one of
these?" he asked, handing the half empty bag to her.
"Only the
good ones?" she
asked coyly, and her father ho
ho ho'd some
more. "Of course, Santa," she said with a little curtsy. With
that,
Santa was on his way and everyone applauded his buoyant
performance.
Katy and
Merissa came up to
help her distribute party gifts to
everyone. The girls received small bottles of designer perfume, and
the boys got gift cards good at the local AMC multiplex, the infamous
scene of our frightening encounter with Jorge, Rooster, and Julio
at the Santa Corina Mall. It
seemed like ages ago that I had
gone to see that Jackie Chan movie with Gene, Tom, and Jesse. That
night, after we escaped Jorge and his thugs, Jesse had hugged me for
the
first
time, and
it had changed my life forever.
I was
shaken out of my reverie
by the
ringing of the door chimes. Parents were arriving in small groups,
each collecting their
child, and saying their thank you's and
expressing their holiday wishes. In less than fifteen minutes, nearly
everyone was gone. The caterers were
already clearing the folding tables of punch bowls and platters.
"Won't
you stay?" I heard
Jessica ask Katy.
I could
see that Katy was more
than ready to leave. "I'll
see you tomorrow anyway," she explained as her mom said her farewells
to Mrs. Bainbridge. "We'll finish packing." I remembered that they were
going on a ski vacation
together.
"Thanks
for all your help!"
Jessica said, giving her friend a kiss on
the cheek. "I'm so sorry about Morgan," she added quietly.
Katy and
Jessica had a long,
sisterly hug before the Mulroneys left,
with everyone carrying leftovers in dishes covered with foil. It
wasn't long before it was just me, Jessica, Jesse and Merissa. Now, if
we could just get rid of the girls....
Jessica
and Merissa
immediately began pitching in, clearing tables,
and gathering up dishes and cups. Jesse
and I joined in as well,
going around the room picking up all the piles of
discarded wrapping paper.
"So,
when's the wedding?"
Jesse chided, nodding toward my ring.
I
instinctively put my hand
behind my back, and then, feeling ashamed,
brought it back up. I slid it off my finger and handed it to
Jesse. "Read the inscription."
He did,
but his face showed no
discernible expression. I put my hand
out
to retrieve it, but Jesse suddenly
dropped to one knee.
"Please, please marry me,
Perry Thompson, or I'll most certainly suffer an attack of the vapors!"
he crooned in a faux southern accent.
Merissa
giggled at Jesse's
clownish antics, but Jessica scowled.
"That's
not some plastic magic
decoder ring from a box of cereal, you
know!" she pointed out acidly,
hands on her hips.
"Really?"
Jesse said, getting
up and shaking it as if it were a
defective watch. "I thought it was magic. You know...one of those
talking rings that're all the rage in Botswana or Belarus or
someplace like that." He held the ring up to his ear and knitted his
brow in concentration. "What's that? Jessica Bainbridge is a
bi...what?!" He looked shocked and quickly handed the ring back to me.
"Man, I
don't know where that
ring was made, but it sure has got some
mouth on it!"
I
couldn't help but let the
laugh building in my belly burst out,
starting with a loud and ungraceful snort.
"Perry,
are you going to let
your friend get away with such a crude
remark?" Jessica demanded.
I
immediately stopped laughing
and tried to look serious, but then
burst into laughter again. "Don't be jealous," I begged. "You know I'll
end up marrying the one with the biggest house!"
Jessica
wasn't amused.
"Oh man!"
Jesse groaned. "You
were my last hope. Now there's nothing to
stop Deanna from taking my vir-"
Suddenly,
Mrs. Bainbridge came
striding in,
clapping
her hands to get our attention. "Here, here, children. This is your
party. You're supposed to be having fun, enjoying each other's company.
I assure you the clean up
operation is well in hand. Why don't the four of you run off some place
where you won't be underfoot?"
I
couldn't believe that
Jessica's mother would actually insist that
four young teenagers go off on their own recognizance and vanish
somewhere in the middle of this cavernous mansion. However, Jessica
quickly thanked her mom and wasted no time
in leading us down an
arched corridor. After several turns, she opened the door to what
looked like a sewing room. It was about as
large as my bedroom, with a sewing table and machine along one wall,
surrounded by spools of thread in every color of the rainbow.
There were shelves stacked with folded fabric of every kind and color
imaginable.
Shelves were jammed with thick reference books, patterns and magazines.
There were
also large posters on the wall of models dressed in lavish
outfits and I was reminded of Mr. Broyhill's--I mean Ms.
Colescu's--office at Nieman-Marcus.
"This is
where we're gonna
make out?" Jesse asked, and I couldn't tell
from his tone if he was serious or not.
There was
a little sitting
area with a small sofa and several padded
arm chairs. Instead of answering Jesse's question, Jessica motioned for
Merissa to have a seat on the
couch before she seated herself. She gestured for Jesse and me to take
two of the arm chairs. Jessica immediately leaned forward and
unstrapped her high heels, leaving her weary, reddened feet bare.
Melissa looked a little uncomfortable at the idea, but then went ahead
and slipped off her pumps as well, leaving her feet in tan
nylon stockings. I wanted to see if Jesse would shuck his loafers, but
he
didn't so I kept mine on as well.
"What an
evening!" Jessica
sighed, and if she'd had a big paper fan
in
one hand, she would have fit in nicely with the cast of Gone With The
Wind.
"Imagine--Morgan
and Kyle
tumbling into the pool like that!" Merissa
said, giving me a strange glance. "What could have gotten into
those two?"
That got
Jessica to looking at
me in a suspicious manor, and I just
shrugged. "It was a misunderstanding."
"About
what?" Jessica pressed.
"Anyone
got a pack of cards?"
Jesse asked, pulling off his Santa hat
and carelessly combing his fingers through his long golden locks. "I
know some tricks."
"I think
we've had quite
enough of your tricks for one night," Jessica
noted haughtily, but with just a twinge of genuine hurt.
Jesse
stuck out his tongue but
didn't smile.
"We're
going to play Truth or
Dare," Jessica announced in such a manner
that it wasn't open for discussion.
I shot
Jesse a look of
wide-eyed panic, but he just snorted
disdainfully. "That's a girl's game!" he declared dismissively.
Jessica
did her little pretend
pout. "It's my party!" she
reminded us all petulantly.
Merissa
nodded excitedly, of
course. I was pretty
sure she would jump
off the
roof if Jessica so decreed.
"Does
everyone know the
rules?" Jessica asked, glancing quickly at each
one
of us. "It's a game, but a serious game. You have to tell
the
God's Honest Truth or you have to take the dare."
"If it's
a dare, it has to
stay in this room!" Jesse insisted.
"Of
course," she agreed.
"And
nothing worse than PG,"
Jesse warned.
I was
somewhat relieved,
having heard all sorts of horror stories of
kids having to strip
to their underwear or
even expose their private parts on a dare, and I'd had quite enough of
those
kinds of games for one week. Jessica didn't seem to think much of that
restriction, and shot him
a
challenging
look.
"PG-13,"
she countered. He
just stared at her unflinchingly with those
icy blue
eyes,
and I could see her resolve crumble. Boy, I wished I could handle
Jessica
like that. But Jesse suddenly backed down and shrugged disinterestedly.
"Fine!"
Jessica declared
triumphantly. "I'll go first. I get to
challenge each one of you;
then it'll be the next person's turn," she explained quickly.
"That's
not how you do it,"
Jesse protested. "You get to
choose one person, and then that
person gets a turn to ask whoever they want."
I could
see that Jessica was
really starting to get pissed now, and that
Jesse was clearly ready to dig in his heels as well.
"I think
it'll be fun this
way," Merissa said, nodding approvingly
toward Jessica.
Jesse
seemed like he still
wanted to argue, but I also got the sense he
didn't want to cross Merissa. It was hard for me to believe that my
brave little angel could be cowed by this cherubic but unsophisticated
7th grader, but I guessed he was just playing the part of the
straight
boyfriend. For whatever reason, he shrugged again and slumped
down a little further in his seat.
There was
no way I could hide
my apprehension. Truth or Dare? Just as
Katy's party had been the first time I had ever
participated in Spin The Bottle, it looked like tonight, I was going to
be indoctrinated into another traditional teenage party game. And yet,
this one seemed fraught
with much more real danger then a simple makeout
ritual. There were
so
many truths bobbing around in my head that I didn't want the girls to
know,
that I felt like screaming 'fire!' and running out into the chilly
winter
night.
"Perry--are
you okay?" Jessica
asked, apparently noticing the fact that
I had turned white as a sheet.
"I don't
think I like this
game," I admitted uneasily.
"We
haven't even started."
"Still...."
Jessica
looked like she was
giving my concern some serious thought,
when
Jesse interrupted. "C'mon, Perry. It'll be fun. Since
Jessica's
gonna do all her turns at once, you'll be able to get your revenge when
it's your turn,
and
she won't be able to do anything about it!" he pointed out gleefully.
"And wait 'til it's my
turn..."
Jessica
gave Jesse a
squint-eyed glare before letting her face relax
into a pleasant-looking smile again. "That's true," she pointed out
with a
girlish giggle.
Merissa
giggled with her and
Jesse just let out a heavy sigh. "Let's
get this over with," he said impatiently, and I saw Jessica bristle.
Wow, he
was really getting on
Jessica's nerves. How cool was that?
"All
right--Jesse," she said,
sitting up very straight with her hands
folded
neatly in the lap of her glittering dress as she turned her head in my
friend's
direction. "Truth or Dare?" she asked quickly.
"Truth,"
he replied without
hesitation.
Jessica
nodded, pursing her
lips and tilting her head slightly in a
thoughtful
looking pose. "Who's the hottest looking guy in our class?" she
asked
shrewdly.
I
stiffened, trying to imagine
how Jesse would respond.
"God's
Honest Truth," she
reminded him.
"That's
easy--Kyle," he said
carelessly. "Nothing personal,
Per--you're
still my best bud!" he said, flashing me a perfect rendition of a Kyle
Richardson wink.
Jessica
seemed satisfied with
that answer. I wondered why she had
asked that particular question. "Hmmm...actually, you're cuter
than Kyle in some ways," Jessica stated matter of
factly,
"but
I figured you wouldn't be vain enough to name yourself."
"Or
Perry," Melissa pointed
out helpfully.
"Maybe
you should've said Perry,"
Jessica noted sympathetically.
"You said
God's Honest Truth!"
Jesse reminded her, and somehow, by
throwing her words back at her, I understood that he was assuring me
that he wasn't taking
any of this seriously.
"I think
we hurt Perry's
feelings though," Jessica said, her voice
suddenly taking on a tone of genuine concern.
I
shrugged sheepishly. "You
didn't hurt my feelings. I know
I'm
nothing special to look at," I stated emotionlessly.
Jessica
suddenly got to her
feet, gripped my hand tightly and leaned
over to give me a
wet
and sloppy kiss on the cheek. "You're very
special!" she
insisted. "And there's nothing wrong with the way you look. You are--Oh
My God--the
hottest looking boy in Santa Corina, but you know Jesse would never say
that." She turned to look at my seemingly disinterested friend. "We
might think he's gay!" she teased, but there was an edge to her voice
that seemed to suggest that she would have liked to stick something
sharp and
pointy
between Jesse's ribs.
My cheeks
were burning with
embarrassment and as usual, Jesse came to
my rescue.
"Okay,
okay. How do I know
which guy's hot? Could be Artie for
all I
know! Who's next?" Jesse asked impatiently.
Jessica
gave my hand one more
meaningful squeeze before retaking her
seat. I knew that,
whatever
faults she had, whether it was arrogance, pride or whatever, she really
did
have strong feelings for me, and that went a long way toward
humanizing
her for me.
"Merissa,"
Jessica said, once
again sitting up straight and
nodding
her head at the sparkling blonde 7th grader who was probably her
biggest
fan. She gave the younger girl a penetrating look, as if she were
peeling
away whatever walls or barriers blocked her direct scrutiny of
Merissa's
thoughts.
For her
part, Merissa seemed
to be focusing both inwardly and outwardly
at
the same time, as if she was the second last kid standing in the
National
Spelling
Bee, prepared to receive the word that would take her to the brink of
victory or to the pit of utter defeat. The look of intense
concentration on
her face
contrasted rather
significantly
with the big red bow tied in her hair. She nodded slightly to indicate
that she was ready to
play.
"Truth or
Dare?" Jessica asked
with a tinge of excited anticipation in
her voice.
Merissa
seemed to ponder her
choices for a few seconds before settling
confidently
on her answer. "Truth!" she stated with a sweet and confident
smile.
"Who at
St. Boniface do you
think is gay?" Jessica asked with a look of
intense curiosity on her face.
"Boys or
girls?" Merissa
asked, frowning at the question before
lowering
her head in thought. She clenched her fingers tightly in her lap.
Jessica
seemed at a loss for a
moment, as if she hadn't considered the
two
possibilities. "Boys, of course," she answered dismissively, as
if
girls
weren't even capable of being homosexually inclined.
"That's a
stupid question!"
Jesse sneered. "You're just trying to
embarrass Merissa," he accused in a way that made it sound like he was
trying to protect his girlfriend's feelings.
Jessica
practically scowled at
Jesse. "It's a good question!" she
insisted snippily. Really? I
asked myself, thinking about Noah and his cigarette breath kissing me
in the
poolhouse.
Jesse
rolled his eyes and
shook his head disapprovingly. Boy, he was
really letting Jessica have it
tonight. For a while there, when they were standing shoulder to
shoulder leading the Christmas caroling, I had thought that maybe they
were on their way to becoming good friends, or at least amicable ones.
But now I wondered
if they would end up coming to blows like Kyle and Morgan, with my
beautiful
blond angel flipping Jessica over his
back
so she would end up sprawled on the floor like a big silver
pancake!
Merissa
slowly lifted her
head, glancing shyly at Jesse and me before
getting up the nerve to look Jessica in the eye.
"Well,
Robbie
Frieberger...maybe...?" she offered timidly.
Robbie
was a slight, somewhat
uncoordinated 7th grader who had played
on the
baseball
team last
year,
but had spent most of his time on the bench. He didn't seem to be
very
popular in his own class, although I did notice him hanging out
occasionally
with
Jeremiah Oatner, which would seem to imply that he had a serious IQ. I
thought how sad it was that people automatically
thought that introverted, brainy, or unathletic kids were homosexuals,
and being labeled as such, meant
they were somehow inferior to everyone else.
Jessica
nodded approvingly at
her answer. Jesse just shook his
head in disbelief.
"Who
else..what about the 8th
grade?" Jessica asked.
"How many
questions is that?"
Jesse wondered
sarcastically.
"It's the
same question,"
Jessica insisted. "I didn't say to name
one person...."
Merissa
seemed oblivious to
the snipping between Jesse and Jessica, and
instead, focused on coming up with a response that would get the
approval
of
her idol.
I
figured, after fingering
poor little Robbie, she'd go after Jeremiah
next.
"Tommy...Espinoza...?"
Merissa
ventured hesitantly, cringing a little
as
she
glanced over at Jessica.
"This is stu-pid..." Jesse
murmured in a rising, sing songy voice,
pretending to glance casually around the room.
My heart
was suddenly pounding
in my chest. Why had Merissa
fingered
Tom?
Was it that obvious? If she thought Tom was gay, then what about
Derek, or...
me?!
"Personally,
I don't think Tom
is much of anything. The only
thing
he's interested in grabbing is a joy stick," Jesse noted carelessly.
We all
looked at him in shock.
"In the
video game arcade,"
Jesse finished quietly, with a smugly innocent look on his face. At
first,
there was a moment of intense
silence in the room,
but then Merissa burst into girlish giggles. Surprisingly,
Jessica eventually
joined her.
"What?"
Jesse asked with a
knowing smirk.
"You're
wicked!" Merissa
giggled approvingly.
"You're
incorrigible," Jessica
noted, but for once, there was no edge
to her tone.
"Next...!" Jesse
groaned,
stretching the word out while he again rolled
his
eyes towards the ceiling.
"Fine,"
Jessica said stiffly,
carefully smoothing out the lap of her
Christian Dior gown. She turned to me and I felt like a huge
spotlight
had
been pointed right in my face.
"Perry,
sweetie...Truth or
Dare?" she asked, her eyes lighting up as
she
leaned slightly forward in anticipation of my response.
The last
question had been a
little too close to home for my
taste. My necktie suddenly seemed way too tight, and my throat
felt dry. I could lie of course, but at the moment, I had no
doubt that Jessica would see right through anything I said. I nervously
cleared my throat, trying to sneak a
glance
at Jesse, but he was deliberately avoiding eye contact.
"Dare..."
I muttered
reluctantly.
"Oooh--this
is exciting!"
Jessica tittered, clasping her hands in front
of
her.
She and Merissa exchanged some sort of girlish facial signals and
Merissa
shyly covered her mouth.
I
stiffened, waiting for
whatever humiliating motions I'd have to go
through
to satisfy this surprisingly sadistic side of Jessica's nature.
"Perry..."
she said, swiveling
so that the whole top half of her body
was
directly facing me, "I dare you to...kiss Jesse Taylor on the lips!"
Both
girls collapsed into a
fit of hysterical giggles while I felt the
blood rush out of my face and my mouth drop open.
"For ten...whole...seconds!"
she added between giggles.
Before I
could even respond,
Jesse burst out angrily, "No fuckin' way!"
"Language!"
Jessica scolded
him in an appropriately disgusted manner.
"No way,"
Jesse repeated
sullenly.
"It's
just a game," Jessica
reminded him off-handedly. "It's just
a
game," she repeated more gently, turning once again to see my petrified
expression. "Like Jesse said before--you can always get your revenge
later," she
reminded
me.
Well,
obviously, kissing Jesse
wasn't the problem. I was more
concerned
about being able to stop after only ten seconds. While I had
somehow been able to push
back
the panicked feelings that had been plaguing me, knowing this was
more than likely the
last
chance we would have to be together before I left for New York,
Jessica's silly dare was bringing it all out front again. I felt
a
tightness in my chest and moisture began to blur my vision.
"I'm not
sure this falls into
the P-13 category," Jesse noted
doubtfully.
"It's
just a kiss on the
lips," Jessica said dismissvely. "I'm not
asking you to french or anything."
Merissa
thought this was
outrageously hilarious and burst into another
fit of titters and giggles that left her face as red as the bow on top
of her head.
"This is
sick," Jesse
muttered, shaking his head. I hoped that he would
make enough of a stink that Jessica would drop the outrageous request.
"Let's just get this
over with, Per,"
he said instead. With a deliberate sigh, he turned to me.
"Can I
change my mind?" I
asked nervously.
"Well,
you're not supposed
to," Jessica said uncertainly. And then,
after a thoughtful pause..."I guess if
you want to change to a Truth-"
"Nevermind.
You'll just think
of some other way to humiliate him. Let's
just do this!" Jesse said, getting to his feet.
He looked genuinely annoyed, and even his eyes seemed to suggest that
he thought kissing another boy was about the grossest thing ever.
Still, it seemed like he was really determined, so I also got up.
"Oh, I
wish I had a camera!"
Jessica noted excitedly.
"Don't
even think about it,"
Jesse warned her through gritted teeth. He
came and
stood
right in front of me. I could feel his warm breath on my face and I was
starting to feel woozy being so close to this amazingly beautiful boy
that I loved
so desperately much. I was seriously and truly worried that, once
we
started, I wouldn't be able to stop. My tongue wouldn't be able to
resist plunging
into his hot, wet mouth while my hands would seek out his silky, golden
blond tresses. I would start to get hard--in fact I was already beyond
starting!
"H-how
are we gonna do this?"
I asked, trying to stall for time.
"I
dunno...." Jesse grumbled,
and then just leaned in and pressed his
lips harshly against mine, nearly knocking me off my feet. I
heard a gasp, but I couldn't tell if
it had come from Jessica or Melissa. Either way, all laughter had
definitely ceased.
I
immediately felt that
familiar, but thrilling surge of sexual energy
course into my body
directly from
Jesse's lips. It was nothing like being kissed by Tom, Gary, Theresa,
Noah, or
even Jessica. I immediately pressed back against his soft boy lips and
fought the urge to grab him by the
shoulders. I love you, Jesse Taylor, I love you so much. You're so
beautiful and smart, and hot and talented and sexy and-
Suddenly,
Jesse was staggering
away. He stumbled backwards a few steps
and then leaned forward. His face was red and he began gagging like he
was about to hurl. At first the girls tittered, thinking that Jesse was
putting us on. But then....
"Oh!"
Jessica exclaimed with
genuine concern, rising to her feet.
"Jesse?"
Melissa
looked on with real
dismay as Jesse bent over, hands
on his knees.
He gagged once more.
"Oh my!
Are you going to...?"
Jessica asked. "Do you need to use the
bathroom?"
Jesse
straightened himself up
and cupped his hand over his mouth.
Red faced, he nodded vigorously.
"Across
the hall!" Jessica
said, opening the door and pointing.
Jesse
hurried out, dashed
across the hallway, and slammed the door
shut. The three of us just stared at each other in disbelief.
Then I found myself looking pointedly at Jessica.
"What...?"
she asked
innocently.
"I...I
don't like this side of
you," I muttered, my lips
trembling with emotion.
"I don't
know what you mean,"
she answered quickly, standing there with
her hands clasped tightly in front of her.
"Do you
need to be mean to
people just to have fun?" I asked accusingly.
"Perry,
that's not fair!"
Merissa protested in Jessica's defense.
"I wasn't
being mean. It was
just a game," she pointed out, but she
looked at me fearfully now.
"It's a
mean game," I pointed
out. "One that's designed to embarrass
people."
Jessica
shrugged helplessly.
"Well, I-"
She was
interrupted by the
muffled sound of Jesse gagging in the
bathroom. Jessica flinched and she and Merissa exchanged
decidedly guilty
looks. I
just glared at them for a few heartbeats before striding across the
hall.
"Jesse?"
I asked.
There was
no response. I
knocked and called his name again. I
heard him groan.
"Do you
need help?"
His reply
was another groan
that might have been a yes or a no. Jessica
and Merissa remained across the hall, standing in the doorway and
looking
strangely surreal in their outrageously lavish ball gowns. I shot them
one more disapproving look and then tried the door. It was unlocked. I
went in and quickly closed it behind me.
This was
a much more normal
bathroom than the opulent one in Jessica's
bedroom. It was wallpapered instead of tiled, and there was a
nice marble vanity, a gilded mirror, and a toilet. Instead of being
crouched over the porcelain god as I had expected, Jesse was standing
with arms folded, leaning against the other wall, as if he had just
been casually waiting
for me to show up.
I was
about to ask him what
the fuck was going on when he put a finger
to his lips. He managed to make another horribly effective gagging
sound and then a mischievous smile erupted on his face. He went and
turned
both spigots of the
faucet on, letting
water splash noisily into the marble sink. Then he came over and
wrapped his arms around me, locking the door behind me before fully
embracing me. Once again his lips were pressed against
mine, but this time, there was real passion. Soon, our tongues were
working frantically, though neither one of us even spoke a word.
Then
Jesse, in his tight black
sweater and dark gray dress pants, was
on his knees. He quickly unbuckled my belt, undid my pants, and
unzipped the fly. He
guided my trousers down to my ankles and smiled when he saw my red silk
boxers with the little embroidered Christmas trees. After undoing the
single snap at the front, he slipped his
fingers in and I gasped. He worked my penis like a fine musical
instrument, kneading, stroking, caressing, and every once in awhile
giving it just a little twist. It was only half a minute before I was
hard as a rock. Now his hand began kneading my ballsac through the
flimsy, slippery fabric while he began
planting long, sucking kisses along my upward curving shaft. I was
leaning against the wall between the vanity and the door, feeling like
I was going to collapse onto the floor in a puddle of ecstasy at any
moment.
He
unceremoniously pulled my
boxers down past my knees, leaving my
fully erect penis curving out boldly into the air. As precum beaded on
the tip
of my cockhead, he gripped
the base of my hardened
shaft firmly in
one hand and guided it into
his waiting mouth. His other hand slid from my bare hip to my ass cheek
as I felt
his lips curl over my dick and his tongue begin to swirl around the
head
and corona. All I could do was gasp at the intense stimulation, but
even then, I managed to keep my wits about me enough to not cry out at
the incredible thrill I was experiencing.
He
immediately began sliding his lips down my shaft, not
stopping
until he bumped into my pubic bush and then going all the way up to the
ring...and then back down again, his long bangs flopping madly
about his
head. He sucked and pumped and licked himself into a frenzy of flying
blond
hair. The stimulation was maddening and I grabbed his
shoulders
for support. I suddenly felt like bursting into laughter, but managed
to
hold everything in except for one brief snicker. Hopefully, the running
water would mask my giddy outburst.
Within
an amazingly few moments, I was shooting my load and Jesse was
thirstily drinking
it
in. Then it was over, and my head felt swimmingly light. I realized I
was grasping fistfuls of blond hair in a way that must have been
quite painful,
and I quickly let go. He held me loosely in his mouth long enough to
make sure that I wasn't leaking any more cum. I shuddered as he slowly
slid his lips
off my thoroughly moistened member. He dabbed at my cock with a couple
of tissues before tucking
my deflated boyhood back into my boxers. My whole body felt tingly and
my
knees felt like they were going to buckle at any moment. Jesse seemed
to pick up on this, and
slowly guided me down to the tiled floor, my pants still puddled around
my ankles.
"You
beautiful, beautiful
boy..." Jesse whispered, squatting in
front of me and passionately kissing me again, first on the cheeks and
forehead and then on the lips. "I'm so, so lucky...." I
could taste my
own
salty cum as our tongues once again collided. A
knock on the door sounded like thunder.
"Is
everything okay in there?"
Jessica's muffled voice asked with deep
concern.
Jesse
smiled and kissed my
cheek one last time, getting ready to get
back to his
feet.
But before he could get up, I grabbed him by both cheeks and pressed
his lips forcefully into
mine. My tongue probed furiously into his mouth, trying to go as deep
as it possibly could. It
wasn't until she called out our names that I finally let go. We both
got reluctantly to our feet and I quickly got myself back in
presentable order, being extra careful not to let my belt jangle around
too much as I re-buckled it. Jesse went and turned the water off
in the
sink, and then flushed the toilet for good measure.
"I think
he's okay now," I
called with a raspy voice, leaning against
the vanity while I waited for my head to clear. Jesse dabbed my
face with a washcloth dipped in cold water and that helped bring me
back to earth. We both
pulled combs out of our pockets and took turns brushing each other's
hair. I could barely resist running my fingers through those silky
locks again. I took in the sweet and musky scent of Jesse's
sweat and felt my weary dick jump. Then a shocking thought
occurred to me.
"Are you
okay?" I whispered,
my gaze going down to the crotch of his
dress
pants.
He
unzipped his fly and
reached into his own boxers, pulling out a
neatly
folded handkerchief. He showed me the puddle of gooey cum on one side.
"Oh
God...I'm sorry," I
whispered guiltily.
"I'm
not," he said in an
especially raspy voice, wiping his hankie
off with some toilet tissue.
After
making sure we were both
looking like neatly groomed straight
boys once again, Jesse nodded for me to open the door. The four
of us stood uncomfortably in the hallway, sneaking uneasy glances at
each other.
"I really
am sorry," Jessica
finally said in a truly apologetic tone.
"I didn't realize that-"
"Don't
get your panties in a
bunch," Jesse said lightly. "I just
had too much eggnog. I should've known better. I'm not used to all this
fancy food and stuff, and
it was just a little too
rich for my system."
Jessica
didn't look entirely
convinced, but graciously took the out
that Jesse was offering. I felt a powerful wave of shame and guilt as I
realized
how foolish I had been to allow Jessica to see me
naked and play with my dick. I should have a warning tattooed on my
shaft: "Property of Jesse R. Taylor-Violators will be flipped!"
"Perry,
what's the matter?"
Jessica asked, noticing my condition.
"Bad case
of empathy," Jesse
noted with a lopsided smile.
It was
nearly eleven o'clock
as we went back into the sewing room, me
to grab
my jacket, and the girls to get their shoes and purses. Merissa seemed
disturbed
by what had just happened, and clung tightly to Jesse's arm as we
returned to the great room. I felt the jealous urge to shove her out of
the way and take Jesse's hand in mine, walking proudly together before
Jessica, her parents, and my mom. But I knew it couldn't be like
that, which made me and frustrated and irritable.
"I really
am sorry," Jessica
repeated in a mouse-like tone as we fell
slightly back, allowing Jesse and Merissa to lead us back to the front
of the house. I didn't respond and resisted the urge to give her a look
of understanding or sympathy. I was a little surprised to see my mom in
her sleek black
dress and lacy shawl, already standing by the door with the
always
dapper looking Mr. Vandermach. They were chatting pleasantly with the
Bainbridges as we entered. Mr. Bainbridge was in shirt sleeves and his
hair still looked a little mussed. Otherwise there was no sign of the
jolly old elf he had impersonated less than an hour ago.
"Here
come the little
troublemakers now," my mom announced with a
gentle smile. "Have fun?" she asked as we approached.
There
were a few unnerving
moments of silence before Jesse responded.
"It was an incredible party!" he noted enthusiastically. "The
fanciest thing I've ever been to."
Jessica
and I exchanged
uncomfortable glances. I knew she was still
feeling
guilty about our little Truth and Dare game, but what was bothering me
more and more was what we had done earlier in the afternoon. Even as my
brain rationalized that 'what was done was done,' and that it was
perfectly normal for boys and girls our age to do such things, I
realized I could never have feelings for Jessica that approached
anything close to what I felt about Jesse. And coming so close on the
heels of
the frightening incident with Morgan, I felt dirty, like I was some
kind of
slut, flaunting my pathetic body for anybody who called him or
herself my friend. I supposed that next, I'd be volunteering to pose
nude
for one of Tom's
paintings.
While my
mom introduced Jesse
and Merissa to Mr. Vandermach, Jessica
took me aside.
"I'm so
sorry," Jessica
apologized again, a worried look on her tired
face.
"I know,"
I said, allowing
just a hint of sympathy to enter my voice.
"But
it isn't that so much as...."
"What we
did this afternoon?"
she asked nervously, easily finishing my
sentence.
I nodded.
Now she
looked really
concerned. "Perry, please," she begged as
intensely
she
could without drawing attention to our whispered conversation. "What we
did this afternoon, I'll
cherish that for the rest of my life. I know that was...difficult for
you;
I also know you did it as a gift, to show how you really feel about me,
and you need to know how much I appreciate it, how strongly I feel
about you--it's not just a silly 8th grade crush."
I was
tempted to placate her,
to tell her that everything was okay and
I had enjoyed our little bedroom romp as well, but I just couldn't.
"I don't
know," I admitted. "I
know it's done, but...I don't know how I
feel
about it."
I thought
she was going to
burst into tears right there in front of
both
our parents, Merissa, Jesse, and Mr. Vandermach. But I saw her take a
deep breath. There was no question that Jessica was a strong person.
She
could control her emotions and outward appearance almost as well as
Jesse.
"Can I
call you when you're in
New York?" she asked, as she nervously
bit her lip, making her look suddenly very childish.
"Well,
email or texting would
probably be best--cuz of the time
difference and getting ready for the wedding and stuff."
"Okay,
whatever you say. Just
please...don't be angry with me," she
pleaded.
I
hesitated to let her know
that this wasn't something that was going
to pass easily, but then shrugged and nodded. This elicited a tentative
smile and
she leaned in and gave me a careful kiss on the cheek. I didn't return
it, but
squeezed her hand affectionately. The fact was, she didn't know
anything about the depth of my relationship with Jesse, and whatever
misgivings I had about this afternoon, there was no one to blame but
myself.
"Oh my!"
my mom exclaimed,
suddenly lifting my hand into the light so
she could more clearly see the dazzling ring on my finger.
"That
belonged to my Grandpa
Bainbridge," Jessica announced proudly.
Everyone
cooed and nodded in
approval.
"It's
very regal," Mr.
Vandermach said.
"Thank
you, sir," I responded.
"Thank
you so much for the
beautiful antique brooch, Mrs. Thompson,"
Jessica said politely, touching the poinsettia shaped jewelry pinned to
her dress.
"You're
very welcome Jessica
dear," my mom replied. "It looks lovely on
you."
Jessica
made a bashful little
curtsy.
"It's
gratifying to see that
some of our young people still remember how
to behave in polite society," Mr. Vandermach noted approvingly.
"Where
are your things?" my
mom asked as we got ready to leave.
"Oh, I
guess I-"
"Looking
for these?" Noah
sauntered into the room from the hallway
where the mistletoe had hung earlier in the evening. He was still
dressed carelessly in his camp shirt, baggy cargos, and flip flops. He
was carrying both my overnight and garment bags, presumably with my
discarded school clothes inside, as well as my hoodie slung over his
arm, which I had hung up in the kitchen and probably would have
left behind. He looked like an
unkempt but dedicated valet as he brought them over and handed them to
me one by one.
Jesse helped by grabbing the now empty garment bag.
There
were introductions all
around, and I noticed how Noah's
gaze lingered on Jesse as the two shook hands. I wondered if
anyone else noticed.
"You all
look like you belong
in a JC Penney Christmas Catalog," he
noted, taking in the whole group. "Speaking of which...." He pulled a
Santa hat out of his back pocket. "Does this belong to anyone?"
Jesse
sheepishly raised his
hand. Before he could take it, Noah placed
it on his own head. "Ho ho--I dare say--ho," he declared drily and for
some
reason, with his deadpan expression, it was actually very funny and
everyone laughed. He then placed it on Jesse's golden blond head.
"It looks much, much better on you," he said with a more-than-friendly
smile.
"Um...thanks,"
Jesse muttered
uncomfortably.
With
that, we all said our
final goodbyes, and Jessica looked on with
concern as we walked down the long brick pathway, and through a
small gate in the stucco wall that led to the street and Mr.
Vandemach's
Land Rover. The three of us sat in the back, Merissa going in
first, followed by Jesse, and then me. I was glad to be able to rub
shoulders with my beautiful angel, and spent the drive time to
Merissa's house imagining myself reaching over and giving Jesse as good
as I had got in the bathroom.
Jesse,
ever the gentleman,
escorted Merissa to the front of her modest
house. I saw the distinctive, plump shape of Mrs. Scott peer through a
curtained window, but no one came immediately to the door as Jesse and
Merissa stood there by the porch light. Merissa gave Jesse a rather
vigorous hug. Just as Jesse was giving her a peck on the cheek, the
door opened and Mrs. Scott, in a bathrobe and curlers, waved past them
to those of us in the Land Rover. She gave Jesse a quick hug and
hurried her daughter inside. Jesse came strolling back, hands in his
pockets, looking rather pleased with himself.
Now my
heart grew heavy,
filled with feelings of regret, guilt, and
downright sadness, knowing I wouldn't see this amazing person for two
whole weeks. And it wasn't even that we wouldn't be able to see each
other, but the fact that we would be three thousand miles apart!
Jesse's
house was only five
minutes from the Scott's, and before I knew
it, he was getting out of the car. I just couldn't help it. Tears
began to well in my eyes. But Jesse seemed not to notice. Instead, he
leaned into the passenger's side window.
"Are you
and Perry busy
tomorrow night?" he asked my mom.
"Just
whatever last minute
packing we might need to do."
"Well, if
you want..." Jesse
started hesitantly.
"What is
it, Jesse dear?" my
mom asked with a patient smile.
"Well,
it's just that, I'm
gonna be um...performing with the
worship team tomorrow...you know...at the family Mass
on...er...Saturday night and I was wondering if-"
"Mom!" I
cried out. "Can we
go? Please?" I didn't even care if I
sounded like a spoiled brat. The chance to see Jesse one more time
before the trip was something I couldn't resist.
"I
suppose it's possible. We
are eating an early dinner with your Uncle
Ron's family, and I do have most of the packing done." She turned in
her seat to look at my hopeful face. "You might want to go to bed
early. Your flight leaves at eight. That means we need to get to the
airport by six thirty at the latest."
"I'll be
fine. I mean, I can
sleep on the 'plane and stuff. Please,
mom?" I begged again.
She
nodded and smiled
knowingly. "It'll be nice for us to be able to
go to Mass together once more before you leave."
"Okay, so
that's...um...great," Jesse said, definitely sounding a
little
tired. "I'll see you tomorrow night then. 'Goodnight, Mr. Vandermach.
Thanks for the ride. 'Night, Mrs. Thompson. 'Night, Perry."
I had no
words, but I hoped my
big stupid grin said everything that
needed saying.
****************************
Special
Thanks to my
editor-in-chief, AJ!
Also thanks to my Spanish advisor, Slayerfan!
Please join
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Jesse Forum! Express
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