"Let's sit on the porch, my dad's already coming." Nick said.
We were sitting on the porch, watching the sunset, and that was a Thanksgiving. The first of many, I hope... I mean `was' because – as expected – Nick's mom didn't let him stay all the weekend, because of the `politeness stuff'.
"I wish we could hold hands like everybody else." Nick said with a bashful look and brushed his knee against mine as we were sitting on the step, by the door.
"Here." I said as I took his jacket – he was holding it in his hands – and put it on his lap, then put my hand under the jacket and grabbed his hand.
We were sitting for a minute, in silence as I watched the cold breeze blow his blond locks, on the tip of his nose, as he brushed them out of his hazel eyes. He looked at me and smiled.
"People talk about `getting old and having someone to hold hands sitting on the porch', right?" Nick said. I just nodded.
"I guess I know what this feeling means now." he finished with a giggle.
Mr. Schaeffer's car was parking by the sidewalk to finish our divagation moment.
"See you on Monday, right?" Nick said.
"Right."
"But... but Monday is not so close... so... do you call me later?" he continued.
"Alright." I replied, calmly, as the breeze gently brushed on my messed up hair.
I waved `hi' to Mr. and Mrs. Schaeffer, who were inside the car.
Nick got up and I thought `what the hell' and grabbed him in a tight hug, burying my head in his left shoulder... he wrapped his arms around me too... but that could last only a second before `looking suspicious'... and I finished with a punch on his back to `fix it'.
Yeah, Nick... Monday... I have plans.
Sunday was particularly boring... it had its natural `winding down holiday glow' and I couldn't call Nick already, `cause I just called him last night.
I was dragging myself from my bed to the couch, from one couch to the other and daydreaming of Nick as the TV image `passed in front of me
Actually, it was already evening and I was postponing my plans for Monday.
Alright, Peter, courage. I repeated to myself, got a jacket, my wallet and off you go!
"Where are you going?" Mom asked as I opened the door.
"Er... to the drugstore." I simply replied.
"What for?" she asked with a quizzical face.
Gosh, here we go with the inquisition... wrong time!
"To buy... throat lozenge!" I said.
"Are you having a sore throat?" she asked.
Say `yes' and you can't go to Nick's tomorrow, say `no' and you're lying, think Peter, think!
"Nope. But you always say it's good to have some on the bag." I replied.
"And you always say you don't like them..." mom continued.
"But... you're right! See? Bye mom." And I shut the door on a quizzical face. Geez!
Good thing the drugstore was only two blocks away `cause if it was further... I was already chickening out.
I went in and there was the condoms shelter... gosh *blush* okay, go seeing the soaps... gosh, who buys it in the drugstore... shampoo... mmm... razors, to shave... that's manly... and with that I was wandering in the drugstore.
"Can I help you?" GOSH!
"Sorry, did I startle you?" the attendant asked. "Do you want a basked to put your items in?"
"No... no thanks." I said and took a breath.
Okay, Peter, either you take it or someone you know is gonna show up, your mom, the school band... do it! I said to myself.
So... wandering... play natural... razors, condoms... oh gosh... lube!
Okay, I admit, I went to the drugstore to buy lube... but I guess this is it, home, lube, play cool – which you're not doing fine now. But, c'mon, it's never easy buying it for the first time, right?!
The plan was only grabbing the damn lube and go to the cashier... but, gee, there was more than one. Is there any difference?... Be fast, be fast... okay, this one. Do I hide it... no, they'll think you're trying to steal and it'll drag even more attention... okay, hold with both hands and no one will notice the label.
"Hi, good evening. Only this?" the cashier said.
Thank god he didn't scream `only THE LUBE?'
"Yeah, only this." C'mon, how much, lemme get outta here!
***
Gee, I know it's only a drugstore bag, it could be aspirin, Band-Aid... BUT I was holding it lower, walking kinda fast...
Luckily, I got in, back home, no one saw me, I rushed to my bedroom.
And now, wardrobe to be here home while you're not here or in your schoolbag take it with you?! I was thinking...
Schoolbag never... at least at home I can be kicked off but I won't be spanked as if this tube falls in the middle of the hall at school... alright, wardrobe, in the middle of the clothes, hide it well!
"Peeete?" mom was yelling. Gosh... reply before she comes here!
"What?!"
"Can you give me one or two throat lozenge?"
Shit shit shit... I don't like it, I was focusing on being low profile on the drugstore... totally forgot buying it!
"So?" mom was already by the door.
"Er... I didn't buy... they... didn't have it!" I said in a blur. "Can you believe it?" I finished to sound `more natural'.
"Weird... how they don't have it in a drugstore... never mind." mom said and with that she was off to... back whatever she was doing.
I sighed and focused on relaxing... because it seems `the formula' is relaxing plus lube plus... er love? *grin* ... And soon after that I drifted off already daydreaming of Nick before, actually, dreaming of him.
***
I was really getting used to this routine... starting Monday with Nick having the first class with me, then alternate between trying to rush time to have lunch with him - as if it was possible - and daydreaming of him... and it would already be lunchtime.
During lunchtime we would split our food, we would laugh over everything, and Nick's laughter was sweet and contagious. His hair was so beautiful brushing against the wind, this hazel gaze was so intense. I'm sure he would `have me' right there, on the grass, if we only could.
But lunchtime is always so short, especially when Nick's around. So, as we were heading back to class, I was so absorbed talking to Nick and laughing that I didn't notice and bumped, accidentally, into someone... that always happens as the lunch break gets crowded.
Gosh, it was Chris... why always him?!
He pushed me back... but he did on purpose... I didn't...
"Hey, your mom didn't give you education?" he yelled. I didn't care looking but I'm sure he was along with his douche friends, everybody in gym jackets, even if it wasn't gym day on their schedule... he was holding his jacket open, hands in the collar, screaming for everyone to see the show... disgusting...
I shouldn't but I stopped, as I was about to turn and reply. I know it's what he wants, I shouldn't... but he mentioned my mom! No one does that! But being the wise – I guess – person I am, I wouldn't mention his mom... it's just not right.
Nick mouthed `love u' and looked me in the eyes, as reading my thoughts. Yeah, Nick's right, don't let him screw your lunch.
"No reply, Hershey?" he yelled.
He stopped in front of me blocking my way.
"That's how people who buy lu-be (he said slowly) at the drugstore do." he said to me above a whisper, looking me in the eye, and smirked.
Gee, I know Nick barely could hear it, none of his friends around, in uniform jackets, just as dumb as Chris couldn't listen but that was too much!
"You were there yesterday, weren't you?" he pushed, and, literally, pushed... shoved me, with both hands on my chest. I almost lost balance.
I couldn't believe from all the people on Earth, Chris was yesterday at the drugstore... gee!
I got really mad... I know I shouldn't but grrr... he was talking about my mom, he was invading my privacy and... he was a jerk... shoving me, right there!
I grabbed him, with my both hands on his collar and dropped him to the floor. He was taken by surprise.
I punched him on the face, right on the nose and it started bleeding... either it was blood or I was seeing all red in front of me... I guess I never felt so angry in all my life. It was like all of his small provocations were all stored up inside of me and he got it out, you know?
I knew his friends were all around, yelling, but only to draw even more attention, I knew they were all stronger than me... probably Nick would try to defend me and get hurt... Chris wasn't as big as his friends... he was about the same as me, maybe an inch taller, but still, I'm sure he was stronger than me... but I didn't think any of that... Actually it felt really good seeing his blood... maybe that's how psychos think... dunno... I know I hated him right at that moment and I would punch him as much as I could!
But then, I guess he really didn't expect me to hurt him... and do it again... I saw fear in his eyes and things weren't all red, in a sudden... except by his nose, with blood on his t-shirt. But, to hell with it, punch him while you can...
And with that, I was grabbed by the janitor and Chris was grabbed by Mr. Thompson and it was over... or, it means, detention was about to begin.
***
Yeah, I had to stay in a room with Chris for two hours! Doing basically nothing, they say it's to `think'.
Alright, I know I shouldn't have punched him on the face... well, maybe I should, he says a lot of shit... he deserves... but then I would look at him holding a ice bag on his nose and would regret it... only a little *giggle* but I would...
And maybe *he* was the psycho... a dozen of times when I looked at him he was looking at me... then he would avert his eyes – his green gaze – away... maybe he was having that `all red' in front of you moment inside his head, thinking about how to kill me in many forms looking at me... I don't know...
***
Poor Nick, was waiting for me outside after school time...
"Hey." I said with a weak smile.
"You can't be here." the detention teacher said.
"Not even here, outside, in this bench?" he asked.
"No, you can't. Go before you give me a reason to have you here."
"Alright. See you tomorrow, Pete... Peter." he said with a weak smile and a hint of sadness in his eyes.
If I just thought I'd make Nick worried I wouldn't have done that... alright alright, I would have done exactly the same... Chris... I can't believe he ruined my afternoon with Nick, damn it!
"We called your mom... she says she's running late, you can wait for her outside, for her, did I make myself clear, no funny business." the teacher said, five minutes later.
With that, the janitor was watching us by the school door as we were sitting on the steps... yeah, I had to continue sitting close to Chris. He didn't say a word and didn't look at me anymore. He just had his head down and his arms over his knees.
Mom parked the car in front of school – in a place where she couldn't, by the way – and rushed in my direction, and that's not a good sign.
"We talk later, young man." he said to me.
"Hey, Chris." she said all smiles.
Yeah, Chris is her boss's son and a few times she even said how she thinks he's very polite, yadda yadda... he plays polite in front of her and she buys it... damn it!
"What happened?" she asked, lifting his face with her hand and placing her hand on his cheek, clearly checking his nose.
He looked at me for a second, and then looked down again.
She gave me a look... by that I could be dead by now, you know?!
"Oh, is your father late?" she asked.
"Yes, that too Mrs. Hershey." he replied to her... Damn, so dissimulate... two hours ago he was yelling... now he's all `Mrs. Hershey'... c'mon!
"C'mon, I'll drop you at the office." she with a smile... for him... for me it was only the `I'll kill look' I'd get for the day.
"Please, you don't have to worry Mrs. Hershey..."
"It's done." mom imposed.
"But..." he started – as IF he had some education... if he had he wouldn't be Chris... you know?! But I was very aware I couldn't express my indignation and just be quiet before mom killed me right there in front of school.
"But nothing. He's with me, okay?" mom said to the janitor, who just nodded and got back inside the school.
"You two in the backseat." mom said. "And be quiet." she said, even pointing a finger at me...okay, that was only for me... zero credit... can't say anything. As if I had the intention to say anything to Chris!
"Thank you, Mrs. Hershey, you really didn't have to. I don't wanna cause any trouble" Chris said. And he says it now?!
"Honey, it's a pleasure. Let's go." she replied.
No need to say the five minutes trip was very silent. Every time I'd look at the rearview, from the backseat, mom would shoot me an angry look.
"I'm sorry." Chris said as mom was parking in front of the office. He had his head down and never looked at me.
Gosh, no, I don't apologize him and... he's so stupid!
Feel free to write me at qualideucoloco@yahoo.com.br
And these are from a few years ago, but here they are, my other series (the titles are 'clickable'):
Through the rain
My angel and
I want a friend
Take a look if you feel like.