The following is a work of fiction. The story may contain profanity and references to gay sex. Any relation to similar events or persons, fiction or real, is completely fortuitous. If such content offends you please leave now. The author retains all rights to the story. Do not copy or use without written authority from the author. Write Bobby at firstname.lastname@example.org with your comments.
Have you forgotten all I know, and all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you, to live, to breathe
You're taking over me
Taking Over Me © by Evanescence, 2003
Control. It's extraordinary the tactics people employ to obtain it. Some rely on deception while others engage in outright trickery. Then there are those who resort to extortion. Why do we fight so hard for control? Because we know to lose it is to put our fate in the hands of others. And what could be more dangerous?
© by Marc Cherry, 2005
***Note: Please be sure to read my remarks at the end of this chapter for I explain something much needed for new readers or readers who haven't read the prequels to this story.***
About six days ago, my boyfriend decided to end our relationship. Of course, the day started like any other. I got ready for class. I ate a healthified breakfast. I then left to pick my boyfriend up from his house. The day was completely, one hundred percent normal. Until we got home I still never would've thought it was our last day together. Just as I did every time we arrived back at my place I offered him a drink. He took his opportunity and broke the news to me. Persuasion was not on my side. I attempted to seduce him, but he rejected me. I pleaded with him to talk things out, but still he refused. The last thing he said to me was "good bye." He never even gave me a reason.
I collapsed down to the floor and cried for hours until my parents came home and placed me in bed. I've not left the safety of my bed since except to use the bathroom. For six days food has been my enemy. Only a few nibbles here and there have stayed down. Nothing seems to be worth it anymore. Friends have tried to cheer me up, but they were met with a locked door. No phone calls or texts were answered. What's it like living in solitude for six days? Well, it's nothing compared to the feeling of being thrown away from the person who was supposed to love me forever. We were together for over three years. Three years. Three fucking years of my life I gave to that bastard! Our relationship rode out many obstacles, some not even ours to ride out.
We both agreed to that. We both saw how secrets can destroy relationships. I swear on my life that I hid nothing from him. I'd like to say the same for him, but I no longer can. I just know I trusted him with every fiber of my being. To think he had an affair is almost illogical. Now that things are over I realize the last two weeks he has acted differently. The times he'd call were fewer and farther between. In class he'd actually pay attention to what the professors were going over. I had simply assumed he wanted to improve his studies. Perhaps naivety blinded me into thinking that. What really could have been happening was an affair. To be perfectly honest he had a lot of friends. No person in particular comes to mind that paid unique attention towards him. Everyone loves him.
Even though he's left me broken I can't think directly towards an affair. The years we were together were the best of my life and not once did I think he was unfaithful. So for the three years he's given me I have to give him some credit.
I barely heard the soft rapping on my door. I'm sure it's one of my parents come to try to force food down my gullet. They've been trying for days, but as I mentioned earlier food is thy enemy.
"Son, I need you to eat something. It's been six days and this has to stop." Dad spoke gently, but I could sense the growing impatience.
"Go. Away." I said with my own impatience.
"I made gazpacho. A nice piece of baguette is sitting next to the bowl."
Damn him. Totally unfair he's being. He knows gazpacho is my favorite soup ever. And when paired with a baguette . . . However much I didn't want to, I clambered out of bed, going to unlock the door. Dad flashed a puny grin like he has won or something.
"You are a cheater. You knew I wouldn't turn down your gazpacho." I couldn't help but grin back.
"Which is exactly why I made it tonight. C'mon." He placed an arm across my shoulders and guided me into the kitchen. Having not left the safety of my bed the past half dozen days you can imagine what else I've neglected: personal hygiene. Even though the smells permeating from my body were downright burly, dad stayed with me. To make matters worse, the only thing I'm wearing is a pair of basketball shorts. So there's absolutely no barrier from the smell at all.
I sat at the island where the bowl of soup waited. Dad set a tall glass of water next to the bowl, then started washing dishes.
"I was thinking about switching out of all my classes. I don't want to see him whatsoever and he's in all four of 'em."
"Well, just remember college isn't like high school."
"Yes. I'm well aware of the differences. It is my second semester, you know? I'm pretty sure I know how things work now."
The soup was bloody amazing. For once, swallowing the bits of food didn't unsettle my stomach. No rumbles, no cramps. Either the soup is a miracle or my system is just too weak to put up a decent fight.
"Have you heard from him at all?" dad asked cautiously, still scrubbing away.
"I don't want to hear from him, either. I'm so . . . fucking pissed off." I took another spoonful. "Stupid shit. What was he thinking!?" I caught my head on my arm and cried.
Dad came around and tried comforting me.
"Come on, bud. Things are going to turn out all right. I know it's rough right now, but I promise you things will get better."
"It's just not fair!" I pulled back from him and stared into his eyes. "I love him."
He pulled me back in. "I know you did. He loved you too. Sometimes things change, though. And believe me when I tell you I've felt this before. But time healed those wounds. Time will heal your wounds."
In the comfort of my dad's arms, I found an inner peace. I know he's right. He's always right. He was right about eating. He's right about it just taking some time to heal. I just wish time didn't tick by so damn slowly. I want to be over the break up.
I had no energy left to even cry. "Thanks, dad," I murmured tiredly.
"You've eaten enough soup. Let that stay down and then you can have some more later. Why don't you go hop in the shower, huh?"
I chuckled. "I know I smell."
"Yes, badly, but shower up and visit with your brother. He's been worried sick about you."
"Okay. Thanks for the soup."
Back in my bedroom I grabbed a change of clothes and went into my bathroom to turn the shower on. I stood gawking at myself in the mirror. How dad didn't scream at the sight of me is remarkable. I look absolutely hideous. My hair is matted together in a greasy mess that looks incredibly comparable to a birds nest. Typically it's jet black with a healthy sheen, but the hair I'm staring at has no life whatsoever. The same can be said about my eyes. The milk chocolate is dull and boring, but the red around them looks pretty cool. And I look like I got in a few fights because they are puffy as hell. I peeled my shorts off. It would seem it's time for another shaving.
In the shower I stood under the warm spray absentmindedly stroking my stomach. I have a little definition, but no six pack. I've always been turned on by myself. Is that arrogant? Well, it's not meant to be. I just love my body and I try to make sure it's always at its best. My ex loved my body. He complimented me all the time. His favorite thing to do was to rub my tummy while lying down together. That was my favorite thing too.
Generally speaking I try to use as little water as possible. I've grown big on the whole green living concept and am actively participating in such ways. There isn't a light in this house that stays on when no one's in the immediate area. And forget about trying to use the lights between seven in the morning and six at night. Why pay for that when there's a big ass natural light bulb floating in space? The same ideal applies when using water. Everyone who showers in this house knows that if they're still in after seven minutes I start to protest. I recycle and make sure we waste little in this household. So yeah I've become a green human doing my part. But standing in the shower right now feels too good and all the water saving I've done in the past several months surely allows me a little leisure time now. Whether it does or not, whatever. I plan on standing under the spray until I'm good and ready.
Fifteen minutes later . . .
And I'm good and ready. The shower felt amazing in case you were wondering. This is the first time I've showered that long in weeks, months even. I put some deodorant on and stepped into a pair of fresh basketball shorts and a random band shirt. The arrogance returned and I couldn't help but admire myself in the mirror. I think it's very sexy when I'm fresh out of the shower and my skin is warm and soft and smells delicious, and my hair is still damp having the styled look about it.
I went upstairs to my brother's bedroom. Sure as the sky is blue he was sitting on the floor leaning against his bed playing video games.
"Hey, Keeg," I said nonchalantly.
"Travers! Hey," Keegan replied, obviously surprised I was out of mourning. "What, uh, what're you up to?"
"Just thought I'd come hang out with the best little brother ever." I ruffled his hair and plopped down on the bed.
"You seem better," he pointed out.
"Tyler made gazpacho."
He chuckled, "Ah,"
"Yeah," An awkward moment passed between us. It felt like forever since we have hung out. My brother and I are thick as thieves and nothing has really ever come between that. Not even when I was in my rebellious phase did I purposely not speak to him. Being with Trevor never brought any challenges, either. Trevor loved Keegan as much I did. He'd always be okay if Keegan wanted to tag along with us wherever.
"So . . . you wanna play a game?"
Keegan fiddled with his gaming systems. I know exactly what he's going to want to play. Mario Kart: Double Dash. That's the only game I can even come close to beating him in. I remember this one time Trevor was playing with us, and Keegan let us lap him once. Well long, embarrassing story short he caught up to us AND still came in first place. How he does it is beyond me. The kid is a beast. Any game he plays he totally kicks ass in. I've lost count the number of times I've stayed the night with him and he'd be up until two, three in the morning tapping away at the controller. Although, he does still have discipline. When Tyler or Jared tell him to do something he jumps up and does it.
"How're you holding up?" he asked while handing me a controller.
"Well I'm hanging in there. Tyler said it'll just take time."
"Trevor is a fool for breaking up with you."
"Why do you say that? Even though it's true."
"You're hot. You're young. You gave him what he wanted."
"It's true!" he laughed. "Do you know how many times I've come home to the sounds of you two going at it? I know he didn't break up with you because of bad sex."
Thinking of the passionate sex we always had created a stirring in my groin. Now is so not the time to get hard, but . . . Ugh. No. Forget it. No thoughts of Trevor. He broke up with me.
"Yeah, well I have no idea why he broke up with me. I don't understand it. He never gave me a reason."
Keegan shifted uncomfortably. "He gave me one . . ."
"Sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." He sat in his original spot and focused on the game that was starting up.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I jumped up from the bed and blocked the TV. "What did he tell you?" I was becoming angry. I can't believe Trevor told my BROTHER why he broke up with me but didn't even tell ME!
"I guess he just . . . fell out of love with you."
Out of all the theories I came up with falling out of love was the second most difficult to accept. How does one just fall out of love? But to think he told Keegan that instead of me is even more painful. Now Keegan is kind of the monkey in the middle. I can't allow him to be a messenger, though. He doesn't need that kind of stress right now.
"I need to go back to my room, dude." I started for the door, but he quickly grabbed me.
"No. Stay in here. Please. Cry if you have to. Just stay in here." He was determined. I have no trouble expressing my feelings in front of others, but it's my little brother. I don't want to have to lean on him.
"I don't want you to see me like this." I mumbled sadly.
Keegan wrapped his arms around me securely. Just from the feeling of a warm embrace I sobbed. I don't know where the energy came from to cry, but I thought I'd have been all cried out. He found out that I was absolutely not cried out. But my little brother never faltered. He stayed standing with me, comforting me as I drenched his shoulder with tears.
"Fuck, Travers. Screw him, okay?" Keegan blurted out angrily. "I won't even talk to him anymore."
"No," I gagged. I had to calm myself down before I threw up all over the place. I leaned back from his grasp and took a few deep breaths. "You can be friends with whoever you want."
"But it almost seems unfair. I won't talk to him . . . as much."
"What do you mean? How often do you guys talk?"
"Daily," he admitted awkwardly.
"Daily!" I fanned my eyes. "What the fuck."
"I think he's just trying to make himself feel less guilty."
"Fuck," I hissed.
Keegan hugged me again, but instead of holding on he let go quickly.
"Come on. Let's play a few courses. I'll kick your ass so bad you'll forget all about your troubles."
The first time in six days I've laughed and it was at my own expense.
But I should never have doubted him. We played and played and played. I forgot all about Trevor and the break up. It was just me and my brother bonding over a video game. After a while of having my ass handed to me I grew too frustrated with the game to continue. I told him I'd be back up later.
"Well, wait!" he said in a hurry.
"What, dude? I promise I'm not going to self-loathe. I just have stuff to catch up on."
"Can't you catch up on it in here?" He looked ready to freak out.
"What's going on? You seem anxious." I sat down on his bed and waited for an explanation.
"I need to ask you some questions."
"Yeah, like, how did you know you were gay?"
I thought for a moment. What's brought on that question? True, we never did really talk about my coming out a few years back, but then again I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Is my little Keeg . . . curious?
"Uh, back in foster."
"But when did you suspect it before that?"
"Keegan, is there something you want to tell me?"
"I'm not gay!" he said defensively. "I just . . . I'm just a little curious, okay?"
"About being gay? Or just being with a guy?"
"Just being with a guy."
I chuckled. "You have a kajillion friends. Experiment with one of them."
"Oh yeah I'll just go up to one of them and ask me to suck me off. That's one way to get my ass kicked."
I rolled my eyes. "Obviously that's not what I meant."
Keegan appeared to be heavily considering something. He even seemed afraid of what he was thinking. He bit his lip and asked, "Would you help?"
"Um, experiment . . . with me?"
"Keegan!" I shot up from the bed and stared at him incredulously. He refused to look me in the eye. I can't believe he just asked me that! For God's sake I'm his brother! And I'm nineteen! That would be so wrong on so many different levels.
"Sorry, Trav, but think about it. If I try with a friend it could ruin me at school. If you help me, though, it could just stay between us. No one would ever have to know."
I was wide-eyed, mouth hanging open. He is seriously asking me to do this. Fuck and there's that damn tingling in my groin again.
"This is beyond the weirdest thing you have ever asked me to do."
"So you'll do it?"
"But, Travers . . ." The little shit stepped in front of me and stared into my eyes. "How long has it been since you've cum? A week?" I still couldn't believe what I was hearing. "We can help each other out."
"Keegan . . ."
"Shh," He reached down and groped my package, which by now was rapidly hardening. "Let me do this for you."
I stumbled backwards. "No. You're fourteen. And my brother."
I was suddenly mauled by his mouth. He pushed his tongue inside my mouth and placed his hands on my hips. I fell into the embrace and kissed back. But just as I was getting into it reality came crashing down. I roughly pushed him away and tried to catch my breath. This wasn't good. It has been a while since I've had a release, and when that happens I become insatiable. I cannot allow this to continue.
"You know you want to, Travers. Just let me do a little."
"No . . . You can't. It's not right." However many times I said that it seemed to become less and less true. I'm starting to want the attention. Just not from my damn brother.
Keegan took full advantage, though.
"Let me put it to you this way. I'm willing to suck you off, no strings attached, and you're turning that down? You must not want to cum that badly then."
"I do!" I covered my mouth, feeling stupid for what I just blurted out.
"See," Keegan again groped me, but this time . . . I didn't resist. It felt too wonderful. This is so fucking wrong. So wrong. I surrendered myself to him.
My shirt was the first thing to come off. He lifted it slowly off my body and tossed it aside. The chilly air hardened my dime-sized nipples. Keegan nibbled at them. I moaned. He came back up to kiss me, and kiss we did. I kept my hands from his body. I knew if I touched him I'd snap out of the lustful trance and realize just how treacherous our fun has become. Keegan wasted no time in reaching down into my shorts and wrapping his warm fingers around what can be considered a steel rod. I closed my eyes. His touch sent me back to a simpler time . . .
Trevor pulled me into the boys' bathroom, locking us in the handicap stall. He gave a quick yank at my pants. I always went commando so my dick sprang up after the waistband passed over it.
"Oh, God, I need this," I moaned in ecstasy. Trevor stuck the head in his mouth, sucking on it with all the force he could muster. "Mmm, yeah,"
I ran my fingers through his hair. I'm not sure what brought this sudden side trip on, especially since we just walked out of third period, but who was I to complain? My boyfriend was on his knees sucking me off. There was absolutely no reason to complain. But then the bell rang signaling that we had two minutes to get to class.
"Damn it," Trevor muttered. "I guess we'll have to wait for after school."
Reluctantly I pulled my pants back up. "Yeah, I really can't wait," I reached into his shorts and gave his pulsating cock a little squeeze, "to get this guy alone."
"Oh, Travers," Trevor moaned when I squeezed his cock. He felt rock hard, but his cock was a lot smaller than I remember. And his scent is wrong. Trevor uses an organic lime body wash that is very distinctive. No, no, no. The scent I'm deciphering is a clean, soapy musk. And when I opened my eyes I comprehended exactly who the soapy scent was.
It wasn't Trevor moaning my name! It was my fucking brother! My fourteen year old brother!
Keegan was totally into his cock being worked by my hand. His eyes were closed and his head was tilted back. I jerked my hand out of his shorts like I'd touched a hot pan, grabbed my shirt and ran out of the room.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I kept muttering angrily to myself. I flew down the stairs and secured myself into the safety of my bedroom to brood over what just transpired.
I crawled into bed, crying pathetically. The only reason things happened is because I was lost in a fantasy of Trevor. I thought it was Trevor who I was touching. That makes it less horrendous, right? It's not like I meant to fondle my fourteen year old brother . . .
For the rest of the night no one disturbed me. I fell asleep around twelve feeling useless as a human being and a failure as a brother. Some time early in the morning I was shaken awake.
"What? Keegan? What're you doing?" I grumbled tiredly. His silhouette pressed against the dim light coming from the kitchen.
"I a-am so sorry," he cried. "Please forgive me, Travers!"
Scooting closer to the wall, I pulled the covers back allowing him to slide in next to me.
"It's not your fault, buddy." I was still trying to wake up.
"Yes it is! I totally took advantage of you! I played with your emotions just to satisfy my own stupid desires. Just please say you forgive me because I have been up in my room all night praying our relationship wouldn't change." He was really beating himself up over what was really my fault. I was the older person so I should've been able to control myself.
"This wasn't your fault, okay? I knew what was going on and I could've stopped it from happening."
Keegan freaked out, lurching out of bed and hovering over me. "What are you insane!? I'm the one who started it! I'm the one who touched you! I'm the one who wanted it!"
I ran over to the door and shut it so Tyler and Jared wouldn't be woken up. "For God's sake, Keegan. Keep your voice down."
"Stop blaming yourself," He covered his face with his hands, sobbing. "Please."
I hugged him tightly. He's beating himself up hardcore. I feel bad, but at the same time I know he's right. He is the one who instigated the entire thing. I can't let him think that way, though. Obviously the guilt is going to eat away at him.
"It was my job to stop what was happening. This is so not your fault, okay? You're just young and curious. You just can't do that with me. I'm your brother. And you're fourteen. So let's just forget this happened. Nothing's changed. How about sleep?"
"Okay, fine. But it's still my fault."
I groaned, getting back into bed, "Keegan,"
"Fine. It was both of our faults. We both have hormone issues."
I heard a soft chuckle from him. "Yeah,"
I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him back down onto me. "Nothing's changed between us. And I do forgive you," Soft cries escaped his lips. "I learned something, too. You're just like me, you damn horn dog."
It is great to be back in the saddle. Great to be back. If you're a new reader, then you're probably a tad lost as to the characters and other things mentioned. This is a continuation from a previous series so I highly recommend reading the other three stories first.
A Promise Kept
A Promise Well Kept
A Promise Amended
They shouldn't take very long to read, and will help you out considerably. This is going to be a very wild ride. In the later chapters it may even be unreadable, but probably not for the reasons you're thinking of. THIS IS NOT AN INCEST STORY. I'll put warnings atop the "hazardous" chapters.
I hope everyone liked the first chapter of Taking Over Me. I've been working my butt off writing chapters ahead so a steady posting schedule is to be expected. But, as my alumni readers know, nothing is ever schedule with me, haha. Feel free to join my group: Shades of Wisteria. Oh, and don't forget about my instant messaging screen names! Don't worry about bugging me, either, because you WON'T. I love talking to my readers! Just make sure if you're going to add me you specifically tell me you're a reader. Otherwise I will assume you as spam and ignore you. We don't want that to happen, now do we?
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