The following is a work of fiction. The story may contain profanity and references to gay sex. Any relation to similar events or persons, fiction or real, is completely fortuitous. If such content offends you please leave now. The author retains all rights to the story. Do not copy or use without written authority from the author. Write Bobby at firstname.lastname@example.org with your comments.
Have you forgotten all I know, and all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you, to live, to breathe
You're taking over me
Taking Over Me © by Evanescence, 2003
Control. It's extraordinary the tactics people employ to obtain it. Some rely on deception while others engage in outright trickery. Then there are those who resort to extortion. Why do we fight so hard for control? Because we know to lose it is to put our fate in the hands of others. And what could be more dangerous?
© by Marc Cherry, 2005
For lunch today I decided to go visit Tyler after my last class. I don't have to work until two so with over an hour to kill what else is there to do?
"This morning I did something I haven't done in five years. Can anyone guess what that was?" Tyler asked the class after turning the overheard projector off. He stood at the front of the room and stared down over his students.
Without raising her hand, a girl said, "Brush your teeth?"
The room erupted into a fit of laughter. I couldn't contain myself and laughed along with them. Her answer was a typical high school response but funny nonetheless. Even Tyler, the butt of the joke, goodheartedly let out a few deep laughs.
"No, no," he said calmly. "I do that morning and night along with a good flossing and tongue scraping. Maybe you should look into that, though." The girl blushed but grinned. "I hit the snooze button for the first time in five years. I'm lagging today guys. So, instead of taking notes today I was thinking we could just continue with the World War One documentary. What say you to that?"
Not a soul spoke against that idea. Though his notes are not strenuous, and are extra credit—though the students are required to take them—I'd give up note taking any day. The movie, however, isn't the most thrilling in the world. In fact, the movies he shows are related to the chapters they cover in class, so they're not Golden Globe nominated movies. Plus, they always watch about twenty minutes or so of a movie once their notes are done. So regardless they'd be watching a movie.
Tyler went to the exact spot they were at the day before; he writes down where each class left off the previous day. No one spoke during the movie for they knew the rules. But Tyler and I were having a soft conversation.
"Second day of work." he stated in simplicity.
"Looking forward to it," I replied, hushed.
"Have you thought about dating at all?"
Totally out of left field. "A little, but it's still too early. I'm still hung up on him."
Tyler scoffed lightly. "I didn't mean go jump into a relationship. Just getting back out there can help you overcome him."
"I guess, but still I don't even want to think about dating another guy right now. The thought honestly makes me nauseas." Having fun with another guy, though, doesn't sound too bad. The classic Travers hormones are starting to return and that means I either have to start taking care of myself a hell of a lot more or I find someone else to do it for me. Personally I'd rather have a buddy to help me out, especially if he's as sharp a looker as Ben is. Perhaps there's a chance for the two of us to be more than friends but less than partners. He's at least gay, so that's a start. The flirting that was happening yesterday was pretty direct meaning he thinks I'm worthy. Since the two of us have similar schedules and we'll be together for hours I can start to craftily dissect him from the inside out.
Hm, I probably could've chosen better words, but surely it's obvious what I meant.
"You do what you feel comfortable with. I'm just saying getting out there helps you move on. I've been through this before so I know what you're going through, sort of."
It wasn't much longer before the class ended. I went home to get ready for work. Today I start at 1:30 and am so looking forward to it. Finally I have responsibility that doesn't include homework. I've been dying for this for weeks, months. Not only have I landed a great job, but Ben is basically an added bonus. I could've been assigned to scrub the toilets and it would still be worth it because of him. I'd give him the key to my body and tell him to do whatever he wants to me.
But . . . wait . . . His text last night was bottom-esque. That makes me wonder if it was just a tease or if he's a bottom. I've never topped before. Ever. So perhaps I will be ravishing his body. Oh, jeez, listen to me. I'm already thinking of us being together. Sure, we're gonna see a movie some time, but that doesn't mean anything. The emotional chemistry may not be there. Then again, emotional chemistry isn't exactly needed for physical chemistry. Hell, with the way I'm feeling right now physical chemistry is fine by me.
Pulling into the parking lot, I began to feel those little butterflies in my stomach flapping away. My heart was thumping faster. I was feeling hotter. All the classic symptoms of infatuation. I'm so pathetic. A guy could just smile at me and I'm already picking out wedding patterns.
Ben wasn't working yet. He said something yesterday about arriving shortly after I do. So perhaps he comes in at two. I can only hope. Bernice greeted me and again verbally noted my on-time quality. I clocked in, then jumped behind the counter and waited for a customer. Today appeared to be just like yesterday. Only a few customers were already inside the café satisfied with their drinks. To kill time I made small talk with the cashier. From the moment she opened her mouth I could tell a friendship with her is probably not going to happen. I asked her how her shift's been. Her response: "It's been, like, pretty chill so far, you know? Like, when I came in today I thought maybe it'd be, like, you know, busier than yesterday, but there's only been a few customers, you know?"
I politely smiled. "I know,"
I'll give you a kiss if you can figure out the reason why a friendship with her is so unlikely. Heck, I'll even give you, like, a hint, you know?
Time dragged on until about two when Ben strode into the shop with a huge smile on his face. The bimbo cashier went into the back to clock out. I felt my face flush and my heart began to race again. As Ben walked past me to the register I swear his hand brushed my ass.
"How's it going?" he asked in his barely detectable southern accent.
Be cool, Travers. Be cool.
"Not bad. Slow,"
He chuckled. "Yeah, it actually gets like this sometimes."
"So, do you go to school?"
Ben hesitated for a second. "Well, not yet. The move took a pretty big financial toll on my family and school here is much more expensive than in Oklahoma. But this fall I'll definitely be there. Do you go to that school on the hill to the east?"
"Yep, Sand Canyon. That's our little ol' community college. Most students refer to it as Harvard on the Hill. Sort of a poke at ourselves since, you know, it's nowhere near as proficient as Harvard."
"Probably not," Ben laughed lightly. "Maybe you can give me a tour of the place sometime so I'm not completely lost when I start. Maybe I could even take a couple of summer classes."
Bernice then came rushing out of the back. "Travers, I want to train you on the register. We have a trainer one back here so let's go."
I gave a quick smile to Ben before heading into the employee only zone. Bernice led me into the far back where the register rested on a table in a well-lit corner. She explained to me how things were going to work and that it was pretty simple to use. There were numerical buttons and most of the other buttons were for drink orders and add-ins and the like. It felt overwhelming at first. Sure, I could make a drink blindfolded, but dealing with the register looks way harder. She handed me a sheet with drink orders and the price. I was instructed to punch in the drink order then give the change to the customer depending on how much they gave me. Thirty minutes of that and I felt much more accustomed to the reg. Bernice then sat next to me and began to verbally train me by speaking the order and handing me a certain amount of money, expecting the correct change in a timely manner. Things went okay. I messed up quite a few times but the errors were not major. A total of an hour passed before she let me back behind the counter with Ben.
"Not looking forward to the register." I said.
"It's not bad once you get used to it. You're only human." The sexiest smile came across his face showing off his teeth, which seemed pretty white—definitely a hygienic plus. "So . . . how about that tour sometime?"
"Oh," I had forgotten all about that. "Yeah, sure. When would you wanna do that?"
"How about tomorrow night? And then we can see a movie."
On the inside I was giddier than a kid opening presents on Christmas morning, but on the outside I was struggling to keep a semi-excited composure.
"Yeah, sounds like a plan. Say, four o'clock? Then we can pick a movie and if there's enough time maybe grab something to eat?"
The corner of Ben's mouth twitched up. "I'm down."
Three hours later . . .
Jared was in the garage changing the oil in the Murano. Wafting out from the barely open utility room door, I could smell the roasting rack of lamb Tyler's apparently making for dinner. For just us it seems a rather large portion of meat. I wonder if grandma and grandpa are coming over, or something. I gave Jared a small greeting and continued into the house. The cold evening air disappeared inside being replaced by a comforting warm cocoon. The smell of dinner was even more pronounced.
Tyler greeted me when he moved from the sink to the oven.
"Hey, how was work?" His usual chipper attitude shone into my soul and lit up my world even brighter than it already was; I'm still reeling from mine and Ben's date tomorrow night.
"It went pretty well. I was trained on a register simulator-type deal. I'll probably be working it tomorrow."
"That's great! I'm glad everything is going well so far."
It'd rock his world to hear that I have a date tomorrow night, too. Well, I can't really say it's a date even though it pretty much is. It was never officially labeled, though. I thought long and hard on the way home from work whether I should tell Tyler about it. Obviously he wouldn't react negatively about it or tell me it's a horrible idea, but I'm just worried that it's too soon for me to move on. I know I felt ready to start looking again, but very recently I've felt miserable. Perhaps seeing Tyler gush about it would help to excite me again. There's only one way to find out.
"So . . . I'm going out tomorrow night." I said innocently enough, giving no real indication as to with who.
"Okay," he said, not turning away from his task at hand.
"Might be out late,"
"That's fine. Just text me or Jared and let us know."
This conversation isn't exactly going the way I had thought it would. He would normally ask me questions. Not intrusive questions, just plain curiosity.
"I will," I guess I'll just come out with it. "On a date,"
"I'm going on a date tomorrow."
Tyler finally matched my eyes with his, and he provided me with a knowing smile. You know the kind of smile I'm talking about. The kind of smile that only a parent can give. It says, I told you so. And then, all of a sudden, he started to jump from side to side on each foot and was shaking his hands excitedly. My God it was like watching a kid find out he's going to Disneyland the next day.
"I won!" he shouted, then dashed for the garage. I watched as he yelled for Jared. "Honey! Babe! Hey!"
Jared appeared out of nowhere. "What? What's wrong?"
"You're kidding? He's got a date?" Jared looked past his flamboyant husband straight at me.
I felt utterly confused and lost. Did they seriously make a bet as to when I'd go on a date? Who does that!?
"Yes, now I believe you owe me twenty bucks!" Tyler stuck his palm out, waiting for the winning payment. That bastard.
Is this seriously happening? Does this happen on a daily basis in America now? Where parents place bets on their children? Holy shit. Well, at least the bet wasn't something stupid like how soon I'd run back to Trevor or when's the next time I'd get shit faced. As Tyler came back into the kitchen I gave him a dirty look.
"Well, nice to know I won you money." I said sarcastically.
He grinned. "Oh, poo. It was only a twenty. Now, tell me about your date! How exciting!"
I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, I don't know if it's a date or not. I just know he's fairly new here and wants me to show him around the college before he starts in the fall."
"Sounds like a date to me."
"Yeah, then we might grab dinner if a movie we wanna see doesn't start for a while."
"Yes, that's a date." Tyler chuckled. "So, did you meet him from school?"
I laughed to myself. "I just said he wants me to show him around the campus before he starts in the fall."
Tyler playfully smacked himself on the forehead. "Right, sorry."
"He's a co-worker."
"Travers! No! Dating co-workers is a big no-no. I mean, if you two don't work out or one of you doesn't feel the same way as the other, then things will be awkward."
That never really crossed my mind. What if things go the wrong way with Ben and we're left with an incensed bubble between us? I can't really picture that happening. Then again, I couldn't picture Trevor breaking up with me, either. It's safe to say predicting the future is not my strong point at all, not even relatively accurate. But, and I mean a big but, if Ben is mature enough, then should we not work out I see no reason why things would have to be awkward between us, or resentful. I would not be offended if he rejected me, although obviously he's interested in me in some way considering he's the one who asked me out.
"He must like me since he's the one who asked me. I like him so far. If things don't progress, then hopefully he'll be mature enough to handle that." I felt like such an adult giving him that kind of answer.
"I just don't want to see you hurt again."
"Everything will be fine." I was partly reassuring myself of that as well. Am I truly ready to even ponder the idea of a new romance?
Tyler let out a fatherly sigh, filled with worry and forced acceptance. "I just want you to take it slow, you know? It's great that you're moving on, but sometimes moving on can actually throw you back a few steps."
Instead of dragging on a potentially mood altering course, I decided to change the direction towards something more upbeat and positive.
"I'm excited to do this. Ben's really smart. He couldn't be any cuter. He has a job. A car. Everything seems to be in order."
"Well, I hope you have fun then."
"By the way," I started, "what's with the rack of lamb? That's a lot of food for just us, even with the piranha brothers."
"Oh! Tommy and Zac returned the movie they rented a while ago and I invited them to stay." Tyler said as he took the lamb out of the oven to check its temperature.
"No way! Where are they!?" I haven't seen either of them in so long! It'll be great to catch up.
As he read the meat thermometer, he said, "Upstairs playing games with the boys. The first thing Keegan did was brazenly challenge Zac to a rematch from the last time they played, I guess." He set the lamb back into the oven. "Dinner's almost done. Pass that on."
"Will do!" I rushed upstairs into Keegan's room. Tommy was sitting on Keeg's bed watching his boyfriend fight for his life. He looked pitifully bored. As he saw me enter the room he jumped off the bed and gave me a hug.
"Hey, Trav, how the hell are you doing?" Tommy gushed.
"Not bad! I haven't seen you guys in weeks!" His scent was wonderful.
"Well, the university's terms are much more rigorous than the community college. You'll learn about that soon enough though, huh?" He pulled me with him back to the bed.
"Hey, Zac," I said, realizing he probably wouldn't even hear me.
"Yeah, hey," he mumbled, not taking his focus away from the game.
Tommy rolled his eyes. "See what I have to deal with?" He gave me a playful nudge on the ribs.
"I can imagine. Trevor was the same way." Mentioning his name was sort of awkward. Surely Tyler filled them in on what happened so I wouldn't have to break the news. God, how awful that would be.
The understanding in Tommy's eyes was evidence enough that he definitely knew what had happened between Trevor and I. Thankfully, he didn't offer any words of encouragement. Isn't that funny? How peoples' words of encouragement can actually make a situation worse sometimes? Like, maybe you've been holding up fine with whatever has happened to you. But then someone has to go and offer their condolences or their support, and the progress you've made could easily be all for nothing. I haven't had to deal with much of that since the break up luckily.
"So, uh, how're things going? Decided on a major yet?" Tommy asked, diverting the already fragile mood from disaster.
"Nah, not yet." I replied with a shrug. "I'm still thinking of something in the science field, but nothing's set in stone, yet."
"Well, it's a mildly important decision. You can always change your mind if you don't like what you've chosen. Of course, that'll create more hassle for you but still. I remember before I chose psychology I was thinking about business and before business was aeronautics."
I laughed. "Those are all pretty different fields."
"I know, I know, I'm terrible when it comes to decisions. I'm a flip-flopper." he said, giving a quick wink.
Hm, I wonder if there's any innuendo in that statement. Probably not. I'm just horny as hell. I haven't had any legit action since that kid gave me a blow job in the bathroom. The longest I'm used to going without any physical contact with another man is only a matter of hours. Trevor and I never went a day without some kind of sexual contact. Neither of us ever got burnt out on it, either. Perhaps that kind of paradise can only last a few years, hence why he said he fell out of love with me. Was there too much sex? That's impossible. I mean, he wanted the sex just as much as I did. He never complained or whined or refused. Case in point, there was this one time he had a fever of one-oh-four and still wanted to have sex. Unfortunately for him, he only received a hand job. His sexual appetite was as insatiable as mine.
"Like I said, I want something in the science field. What I don't want is to spend years in school, you know? I'll have to search for something like that. Tyler suggested teaching, but eh."
Zac began cheering wildly, while Keegan looked completely pissed off. I've seen that look many times before. It's his defeated face and the wrath that ensues is quite the show. Every once in a while a few of us like to play the old school Mario Party's. Well, if Keegan starts to lose he shuts the console off. Just shuts it off. So, no one plays that game with him anymore.
Tommy flicked Zac's ear.
"Ow!" he cried out, turning to face his attacker. "What was that for, hooch?"
"Hi, welcome back," Tommy grinned. "He gets in his own little world when he plays those damn video games. I swear it's like dating a child."
Zac stood up. "If I'm a child you know what that makes you? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stay here and be lectured by a pervert." He stormed out of the room, leaving behind three stunned onlookers.
I couldn't contain my laughter, though. Tommy and Keegan didn't hesitate with theirs, either. Zac came back in, laughing as well. He should be given a kiss for that outburst.
"You are such a dork." Tommy said, calming down.
Zac took a bow. "Thank you," Then he came up to me and gave me a hug. "Good to see you, man." I'm certain he smelt far better than Tommy. I actually got an instant semi from just the scent.
"Good to finally be seen," I said.
"Well, come on, I had to beat little Keegan."
Keegan rolled his eyes. "As if. You got lucky, Zac."
"Luck had nothing to do with it, squirt. It's all about the pure, unadulterated skill in this here magnificent body. Right, babe?"
"Um, no," Tommy said.
"All right, I'll let that slide for now since you sex me up, but should it happen again I will report you to the proper authorities for child molestation."
Tommy let out an exasperated sigh complete with a rolling of his eyes. "You're lucky I love you so much."
Zac was going in for a kiss when we all heard two loud, distinctive whistles from downstairs. That's Tyler's way of saying dinner is ready when he doesn't know where we're at. The lot of us went down into the kitchen. Tyler was carrying a couple of things into the dining room and my stomach reacted at the sight, as if the smell wasn't tantalizing enough. I love this man! Zac and Tommy appeared equally as transfixed. In fact I think I heard one of their stomachs growl.
"All right, guys, everything's on the table. Anybody know where Jared is?" Tyler asked, swiveling his head around.
But no one answered him. He went out back. Torry came in from the living room. I was too distracted by the food to think about anything else. Tyler made those delicious honey sautéed carrots I love so much and his cheesy garlic mashed potatoes that only he can get right. We all sat down and I suddenly realized we should probably wait for our parents. But that thought quickly vanished when everyone else dug in. God, it was like a feeding frenzy. In the blink of an eye their plates were loaded with food.
The familiar chime of a new text message broke through the clanging of silverware on glass. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and checked who it was from.
Excited for tmrw? :)
Yeah! I've never been a tour guide before! Lol
I forked a piece of the lamb and spooned a glob of potatoes onto my plate next to the honey carrots that I could eat by the bucket load. The phone chimed again.
Well don't be nervous stud
Haha I'll try not to be cutie ;)
I feel positively giddy. I'm horny with excitement. Zac, sitting on my right, noticed my sudden change in demeanor and leaned over to see what caused the shift.
"Ooh, nervous for what, stud?" he said mockingly.
I grinned, baring my white teeth. "I have a date tomorrow night."
"Shut up! No way!" he exclaimed.
"Travers has a date?" Keegan asked with a mouthful of food.
"Yes, I have a date. I'm taking him on a tour of my campus because he's new here and starts in the fall, and then we might get something to eat before catching a movie." I felt oddly proud of having a date. It's one big leap towards officially being over Trevor, though I feel anything but.
So what're you doing?
Eating dinner. A couple of friends stopped by. I haven't seen them in a while.
OOPS my bad!!! Ttyl!
Tommy, who was sitting on Zac's right, reached over to pat me on the back in congratulatory fashion. "Well, it's good to know you're heading in the right direction."
"The big question is, is he cute?" Zac asked with a goofy grin. Tommy popped him upside the head.
A realization quickly fell upon me.
"I don't actually have a picture of him." I thought for a moment. "I suppose I can look him up on Facebook." Although I don't know his last name, I can enter in his work place and hopefully find him that way. I went into the app on my phone and began the search. Everyone else continued eating their food. I'm really behind now. After going through several Bens, none of which was the one I was looking for, I typed in his former hometown instead of his work place. Several Bens popped up, but the one I desired stood out from all the rest. "Found him," I tapped his picture tab and waited for the albums to load.
Zac practically crawled on top of me to see him. He chose which album he wanted and the pictures that popped up were absolutely gorgeous. Ben is such a cute guy.
"God in heaven," Zac breathed out. "He is super . . ." Tommy glared at him. "Super okay, I mean."
Tommy smiled. "Nice save,"
"Yeah, he's incredibly 'okay.'" I said, feeling even more excited for tomorrow night.
Feel free to join my group: Shades of Wisteria. By the way, when e-mailing me be sure to create a good Subject, as it could be directed to my spam folder, which I hardly ever check before deleting. So, put in "Stories" or the title of one of my stories, something like that, okay? Thanks ahead of time.