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Rap is not Poetry





            We got out of the office and Juboo just nodded at me and walked away. He still looked pissed at his altercation with Ty. I didn't get it at all. Ty waited for me however and honestly I figured that he would.

            "He knows," was the first thing that came out of his mouth as we walked down the hall, "I can't fucking believe it."

            He looked like he was about to cry. No...then I realized what it was. It wasn't crying. He took a deep breath and then I realized he was running to the mouth with his mouth puffed up. I ran after him, down the long hallway into the public bathroom on the corner.

            Ty ran into a stall and unleashed his guts with fury into the toilet. I rubbed his back. I didn't even mind the smell or the gagging sounds. It was sad that I was so used to this living with the people that I had lived with in the past.

            He stopped throwing up after a few minutes and went to sit up against the sink, "Fuck, we are going to be late for Peter's class."

            I took a plastic rinse cup and filled it with water and handed it to him, "Peter's cool. He won't care."

            "Life sucks right now. Monte's missing. My father knows I'm gay. I don't even have you,' Ty said rolling his eyes and pounding the back of his head hard against the marble of the bathroom wall.

            I leaned up against the wall and slid next to him, "You do have me. We'll find out what happened to Monte. As for your father...well...maybe he doesn't believe Etienne."

            "Etienne doesn't lie."

            "But parents aren't like that. Especially parents that seem like Baron seems. He'll want to know for sure. He'll want to hear it from you. I mean...people experiment around this age all the time."

            "It's not an experiment, Syn. You don't know how I feel."

            I turned away. He was right. I couldn't allow myself to touch that part of him. I could comfort him in the worst kinds of puke sessions, but emotion...that was what scared me. I just glared at the wall opposite me.

            "Why did Juboo fight you?"
            "He's fucking jealous. I know it."
            "Is that what he said?"

            "Well no..."

            "What happened then? Tell me from the start."

            Ty sighed heavily, "He walked over to me and asked me to give you something. I said no. He said I was acting like a crazy dickhead. I punched him."

            I started to laugh, "That doesn't sound like you."

            He laughed a little. It wasn't hard as me. I realized he was starring at me from my peripheral view. His eyes gazed hard. I didn't know what he saw. I mean, I was attractive but I wasn't some heartthrob or anything. I damn sure didn't look half as good as like Juboo or a lot of people by any means. I didn't understand why he stared so hard so...hard...

            "You may have influenced me," he stated.        

            "We're late for class."

            I got up and moved away, but felt him grabbing onto my hand, "Wait...you know how I feel about you. He wasn't the one who was jealous...it was me. Juboo had written you something...it was...nevermind..."

            He walked away quickly so I wouldn't inquire further.


            I knew Peter noticed I was distant. I was worried about Monte. I couldn't take my mind off of him. What if he had died? What if his body was laying in a ditch somewhere and no one cared. Worse even...what if he was alive needing help and suffering? God...I felt like I couldn't help him.

            The air was so thick in the South. The fog wasn't as thick today though. In the distance I saw Tini's lake shallow out with trees sticking out from the mossy shallow water. There it became Tini's bayou. That was where she lived. Madame Tini stayed there in her cottage...and for a minute I could swear an image came into my head that she was looking out of window at me.

            "Syn are you ok?" Peter asked.

            I usually paid attention in his class. Any other teacher would have been used to me staring out the window. It was because Peter's class was the only one I found even slightly interesting.

            "I'm fine."

            "Are you sure? You seem off. I can give you a pass to go see Nurse Harrison?"

            "Hell no. Just the other day I could have sworn I seen her use up one of her nine lives coughing up her liver. There was no way I was going to the same failure that treated Abraham Lincoln's gunshot wounds."

            "You know...some people would have just thought that ... and...well...kept it to themselves," he explained but then smiled, "But I like the self-expression. That's what we are all about in this class."

            I shrugged, "Hell, I got a lot more where that came from."

            "Well, ah...try to pay attention. Juboo was making his presentation about love. Maybe this will influence you for when you presentation."

            Juboo was in front of the classroom. I didn't even see him there. He looked nervous. For a minute everyone got quiet. I didn't get it.

            We all just sat there watching him and I could tell this was definitely uncomfortable for him. His hands could barely hold the paper. I watched as Jules pouted in front of him.

            "Aww," Jules pouted, poking out his lip and putting his hands on his heart. He found Juboo cute when he was nervous. He turned over to Ty as though looking for agreement but Ty just rolled his eyes back.   

            "I can't do this," Juboo told Peter, "It's just not me."

            "I know Juboo...this love talk is gay," Wilson backed up his friend from the back of the classroom.

            A couple kids nodded in agreement, probably nervous themselves about the situation. That was when Ty got up off his seat. I could see Ty's eyes burning into Juboo. I could see the resentment there. Why was Ty so threatened by Juboo?

            "If he thinks its gay...I'll go."

            "Its not that," Juboo said quickly, in a defensive way but I could see sweat rolling down his forehead, "It's just...I don't know. I don't know what love is. Like I wrote this, but I don't know. I wanted..."

            He was shy.

            Jules cheered him on, "I'm sure its good, Juboo."

            He was such a fan. I rolled my eyes. Jules was still hesitating. Jesus...this was going to take forever. I turned and looked out the window again.

            Just as I did that, I heard Juboo clear his throat.

            "My presentation was in free poetic style. It is called Purgatory of Sinners.


I stand dropped in agony, the ideas of life and love in action

Causing some Religious-like Reaction, Mind Distraction, Heart Contraction

Because it has to be God that's causing this immediate attraction

Humorous contraptions; how can two souls combine for one ...benefaction..."


            "He's rapping," Ty shouts out.

            "Shut up. Let him keep going. Hell he could be redoing a verse from MC Hammer. It sounds good," I say, before my mind really understands what I'm saying.

            What he's saying, whether he was rapping or not, meant something to me. I didn't care. Juboo was looking down at his paper but the things he was saying. They sounded so damn...real. It was crazy.

            Juboo did continue...and after I said that, it seemed like his passion flew and he was rapping, but it sounded so good. He wasn't even looking at the sheet anymore. Th words just began to flow out of his mouth.

"Purgatory is where Sinners are Damned; Souls Held in Reprimand

But If OurLove isn't in Gods plan. Why the hell should I follow Moses

When I already found my Holy Land... ... ... In You.

Eh...ehm...sorry. I'm a little choked up.

So you ask me what Love implies...My answer is the Love I recognize...

Love is 5'8, with an attitude taller then the skies

He has hell in his eyes, With Words that make your ears want to be baptized

But Not I. To not hear Love would mean my Demise;

For the Chance To be Hurt By Love, I'd Take Purgatory and All It Implies

Put Heaven On Hold; Trade in all my faith to wipe Love's Cries

And when Love Dies.Iif Heaven denies Love then Heaven Denies I

So In the Lowest Deaths of Purgatory, you and I will lie

And I'll cherish Love until forever...

One Man's Syn...will be Another man's Prize..."


            One man's Syn.           

            The door slammed as the silent fell over the room. It was Ty. He had walked out of the room. People began to clap and cheer. Juboo stood in the front of the class being humble. Truth was the way he spoke his words brought so much sense to it.

            "How do you all feel about this?" Peter asked.

            Jules raised his hand, "It was lovely. I interpret it as some loves are seen as sinful and wrong to others. Some love like gay love or maybe even cross-generational. Juboo is saying he'd rather be damned then not love."


Peter smiled, "Good. Any one else."

            Wilson raised his hand, "It was cool. I mean, a little whimpish..."

            Hadn't they noticed that Juboo had said "He?" Hadn't they noticed that he was talking about love being 5'8"? No one else had the pissed off attitude that he described. He was talking about me.

            I had to raise my hand.

            Peter pointed to me, "Syn?"

            "It was fucking...beautiful."

            My heart melted as Juboo raised his eyes to me and our eyes connected. It seemed like the rest of the class didn't know our little secret. They must have not been paying attention but the way Juboo looked at me at that moment...I knew we had an understanding. He had written that for me.

            And for the first time in a long time...I felt a tingling feeling all over.


            I waited for him after class. Everyone had left. At least I thought everyone had left. As soon as Juboo came out, after talking a while with Peter, he saw me. His eyes mine and he smiled with that same shy anxiousness. He didn't even seem all that shy.

            Then I realized Etienne's eyes, standing around pretending to be looking at the bulletin.

            I stared back at him with disgust, "What the fuck are you spying for? You must really want to wake up to find your balls dangling from between your Harry Potter collection."
            Etienne pretended like he didn't hear me but still walked away. Juboo found it a little funny and laughed. He shoved his hands into his pockets.

            "So what's up, shouldn't you be getting ready for our little dinner at the Barons?" he asked, "I'm sure you may need to be perfect. I can tell their family is probably Martha Stewart on E."

            "I'm sure, but I wanted time to tell you. I liked your poem."
            His face was getting red which was kind of funny because he was actually dark. He just continued to walk and tried not to smile.

            "It wasn't for you."

            "I never said it was. Look at you. You just embarrassed yourself."
            He laughed, "Ha, man whatever."

He was still red. I pushed him a little bit, "Can I see it...how did you spell sin?"
His mouth opened wide, "No you can't see it."

"Give to me," I tried to grab the paper out of his hand. We struggled in the

hallway. We were lucky that the hallways were empty around this time because we were making a whole lot of noise and it would have just been another trip to Ms. Trials cramped ass office.

            He tried to hide the letter and I pushed him up against the wall. Juboo was taller than I was and damn well more graceful. I saw how he maneuvered the paper through both his hands quickly.

            It was pissing me off.

            I just hit threw him on the floor and got over him, pinning his arms down with my knees...

            "Ok, ok. It maybe was spelled S Y N. Ok you may have had something to do with it," he said and rolled his eyes, "You embarrassed me. You happy now. I look like the biggest wimp right now."
            "I am happy."

            He laughed, still embarrassed. This was an embarrassing moment and for some reason I didn't mind. The idea of him sitting underneath me, forced to just admit something that he probably would have rather have kept to himself was serious.

            "Can you get off me? This looks gay as hell and you know Etienne is around," he stated and sighed.

            I got up and helped him to his feet, "I don't know what to say."

            "I mean, I know what you are going to say," he explained and shrugged, "You going to shut me down like you did Ty?"
            "I didn't shut down Ty."
            He shrugged and walked forward, "I'm not like Ty. I like to keep my feelings to myself. I told you I was interested in you and I was serious. I just had to get something off my chest though. I didn't want Ty walking around thinking he's the only one capable of knowing what emotion was. He's such a cocky ass bastard."

            "So I mean...I...I can't..."

            "You can't feel right?" he said and pressed his hand up against my chest, "Nothing there..."

            "I don't know anymore. It's an icebox..."

            "Well what about here," he said and leaned over.

            His lips pressed against mine. He started to kiss me hard, his tongue running through my mouth anxiously searching for mine. When he found my tongue, he licked it, massaged it, sucked it and bit it. There was something so...sexy about Juboo. I couldn't remember being so horny.

            Before I knew it I found us searching each other's bodies.

            My hands ran up and down his back, sneaking through his shirt. Then lower, grasping on his ass. He liked it. He pinned me up against the wall. His hands were going into my pants as well, the front end. I could feel him doing the massaging motion against my dick that was hard through my pants.

"Someone is going to see us," he said.

We were in the middle of the hallway. Anyone could come out and see us at any minute. Juboo had warned me, but he didn't stop. His hands carried through my hands, gripping the head of my penis.

"Oh god..." I stated, "What are you doing to me?"

"Do you want me to stop?"


"Then shut up and kiss me."
            He didn't wait for me to kiss him. He stuck his tongue back into my mouth. He had lowered my pants just enough for my dick to be out and before I it, his pants had somehow gotten below his ass too. I didn't see his dick. I wasn't looking down. My eyes were closed, but I could feel it as he started to slow grind our dicks together. He had moved his hand and replaced it with his torso.

            He had this wind to him that I never felt before. It was so rhythmic. He had to be a hell of a dancer by how he was gyrating our dicks together. His tongue explored my mouth. He was so anxious.

            The feeling it was so much. I opened my eyes. I knew what was going to happen. I wanted to make sure no one was around when it did happen.

            As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Tini...just standing there.

            "God...I'm cumming..." he said.


            He didn't stop. He used his mouth to silence me. His tongue wrapped around mine. He kept gyrating our dicks together, pressing me up against the wall. His hands were pinning my head to the wall and my hands were grabbing hold of his muscular, round ass feeling the rollercoaster motion that he was doing.

            The orgasm was unavoidable. Before we knew it we sprayed all over one another. It seemed everywhere. I could only feel his man juice landing on me and begin dripping down my stomach and into my crotch area. I was sure mine landed somewhere on him as well. It was kind of disgusting.

            I had lost my breath.

            "I...I saw Tini?"

            "You talking about Tini's Bayou?
The old voodoo priestess Tini?"
Yeah. I saw her."
            I stopped talking immediately and just looked around. How the hell could I have seen her? How the hell did I see Tini?

            Juboo raised a concerned eyebrow, "You're dreaming. How the hell could she be in this building? They wouldn't let her ass in here. I heard she was crazy."

            I shook my head, trying to shake off the thought.   She wasn't around. There was no trace of her. Could I have been seeing things in the heat of passion? But why her? Why would I see her of all people?
            "Maybe you're right."

            He looked at me seriously, "Good. You are starting to see magic. Maybe I'm doing something right. That was so...I'm speechless. I didn't think you would let me do that to you."
            "Neither did I?"

            I tried to wipe myself off, but it was impossible. God I made a mess.

            "Maybe we can do the real thing one day..."
            "Um...I don't know about that..."

            I walked away, leaving him standing there...wondering.



            I saw Etienne looking at me. He was staring at my shirt with the weirdest look as though trying to comprehend. Truth was, I doubted he ever had sex in his life. I doubted he ever had an orgasm. He probably came to the school trying to be bad.

            "Is that? Oh god what is that?" Etienne asked as soon as I got into the room and he saw Juboo's jizz on my shirt.

            "It's just mayo."

            "Huh? Mayo? Are you sure?"

            Nerd. He really was finding it hard telling the difference between Mayo and cum. My face wrinkled as I figured out a way to get back at Etienne.

            "Yeah, I swear it is. It's just light mayo. Taste it..."

            "I don't believe you...you sure that's not."
            "What, why would that be all over the place...you sound stupid. Don't believe me? Why don't you taste it then. It's like the best. Mr. Kong showed me how to make it. It's a secret recipe for Ancient Oriental Mayo. It's very light and good. It was so good I got it all over the place. "

            He was so fucking nosy. God. Etienne had to be the noisiest person in the world. He walked over to me and put his finger in the jizz on my shirt. He was such a fat ass. He really was going to eat something that was on my shirt. He scooped it up with his finger.

            I struggled to keep my face serious. He was so nosy that he was about to eat cum just so he could know for sure what it was. This was priceless. I needed a camera. This moment would last for ever.

            Etienne sniffed the cum on his hand.

            "Go ahead. It's the best. You are so out of the loop."

            "It's not fair for Mr. Kong not to share his recipes with everyone else. I'm going to have to report this to Ms. Trials."

            He brought it to his lips and opened his mouth. Oh god!
            I couldn't help it. I broke out in laughter and ended up falling on the floor, "Oh my god, you are really about to eat cum!"

            Etienne face went the reddest of reds at that moment. Tears started to form in his eyes as he realized what was on his finger and what was close to his lips. He started to shake it violently. The idiot didn't even realize what he was doing.

            The cum went from his finger to the side of his face after he shook it.

            "GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!"

            He panicked and ran out of the door. It would have been priceless if he had actually tasted it. I should have just been quiet for a little while longer. Just a little short while longer. This was funny, but Etienne was getting on my last nerve.

            I had to do something worse to him. Something to teach him that he can't just keep messing with people's lives. I just had to figure out what, but this cum situation would hold me over until I figured it out.


            All three of us stood at the entrance to the Baron's `estate'. It wasn't a house. NO of course not. These people were too uppity to have houses. It was the Baron's estate. I could even tell Ty was uncomfortable being there. He didn't say a word to me.

            A part of me figured he knew something was different between Juboo and I. It wasn't hard to tell. Juboo had started to act different. Usually he was extra cool about things, but now he was acting all awkward. He stuttered when he spoke to me. He didn't look me in the eyes. It was almost like the dry sex session we had was getting to him.

            It was exactly why I didn't want to do anything.

            I declared war against love. Ty was already hard enough. I didn't need Juboo being the same way.

            "Good morning Ma'am," Juboo stated.

            "Good morning Mother," Ty told his mother as he walked up.

            "Ey what's up," I said.

            She looked at me like I had three heads. I had done it on purpose. She was so uppity it was hilarious. She actually looked very pretty. I knew now she had the stronger genes because Ty looked just like her. She gave him his beautiful light golden skin tone and seemed to have his long curly hair, except her hair was pulled back into a tight bun with several loops around.

            "Dinner's on the table...already...it has been served."
            I heard Ty mutter something. We all walked into the room to see Baron at the table. He was sitting there with Lomas, the groundskeeper. I remembered Juboo telling me that Lomas was a part of the Baron family. I was surrounded by them now.

            Baron and his Mrs. Baron set opposite from each other. Mrs. Baron had us sit but she herself didn't say much about the situation.

            That was when I saw Juboo sit next to me. His hand began to rub on my own from underneath the table. He did it slowly, touching me softly on my leg. God, what was he doing to me? It felt so good when he did it. He knew that.

            Ty cleared his throat.

            "Thanks for the meal mother," he said, as though excusing himself for clearing his throat.

            He had to have noticed his hand on my leg. I couldn't deal with this drama. I moved Juboo's hand off my leg. It felt so good though. Why the hell after I moved his hand of my leg was I continuing to hold Juboo's hand?
            "You're welcome sugar," she said and looked over at the rest of us, "I hope you enjoy the meal. It's jambalaya and crawfish. It's a Creole favorite. I'm sure you'll love it if you never had. What's your name's again? Juboo and Syn. Oh, nice to meet you dears."

She smiled contently. She was a very southern woman, beautiful, but she seemed to somehow be forcing her grace. It wasn't natural. Lomas hadn't even looked up from his plate the entire time. He
            "This boy Juboo...he had a fight with Ty the other day?"

"Oh my! Ty fighting? Well...now that's just unheard of," she said, picking up her napkin and placing it over her mouth.

She was so fake to me.  I rolled my eyes. There was something so annoying about her to me. I don't know what it was.

"It was just a misunderstanding. That got out of hand, we are cool now," Juboo stated, obviously trying to offer some type of peace treaty to Ty by covering for him.

"The hell we are. I beat your ass then and I'll beat your ass again," Ty stated.

I couldn't help but to start laughing. I was almost chocking on the damn crawfish when Ty said it. I couldn't believe I was the only one who found this funny. It was definitely something that I would say.

"Oh my!" his mother said in her fake accent.

Baron slammed his fist on the table, "Now where did you learn that language? You know better than that, child! You will apologize to this young man."

Juboo didn't seem to want an apology. He seemed to want to reach over and sock the hell out of Ty. This definitely didn't seem like the Ty I knew.

Ty's southern accent was heavy around his parents, "I apologize."

"Whoa and I thought this was going to be boring," I stated, continuing to laugh.

            They just looked at me. Hell, I probably had the worst manners at the table. I could see the way Mrs. Baron was looking at me. I could almost read her mind. "Crude...animal" seemed like something was going to call me by the way I was laughing at her table.

            "It's ok. Besides I wouldn't disrespect you in your parents house," Juboo stated, "I don't change to impress people."

            Ty looked at him from across the table, "Change to impress people?"

            "Exactly. You know damn well you don't act that way. You don't fight. I'm not going to put you on blast, but we all know who you are trying to impress."

            "Put me on blast, why don't you just say it," Ty stated, "I swear. If you want to start now don't be scared!"

            "Whatever, Ty, I'm not scared of you."
            "Then say what you were going to say," Ty said, standing up off the table. He looked like he was going to swing at Juboo any second.

            "Get up Ty...you'll finish your dinner in the study," Baron stated.

            "I didn't do anything..."

            "You'll be getting the stick for this. I hope you know that," Baron continued.

            "Why haven't I got the stick? I deserve it more then anyone," I joked.

            By the way everyone looked, I could tell that no one else was amused but me. Not even Juboo. He seemed like he was a little distraught actually. He looked irked. I could tell his pride was a bit wounded. I don't know if Ty was planning on putting this whole `bad boy' presentation on for me, but if he was, it was working. I was very amused."

            "This is some bullshit," Ty said, "I'm not leaving."

            His mother shouted out again, "Oh my..."

            I started to laugh again. Was she shocked and appalled by anything? She was one of THOSE type of southern women. She had grabbed her chest.

            "That laugh..." Lomas stated, "I know that laugh."

            Baron raised his voice, "Lomas. Enough...don't..."

            "My laugh?" I asked Lomas. What was he talking about he knew my laugh? What the hell was he talking about?

            "Timon's laugh."

            Timon. How could he have known that name?

            Baron looked at Lomas stubbornly, "You fool. Timon is dead and gone. Syn, eat. Ty, get out of here or I'll drag you out of here. You don't want me to do that boy...ya hear? You don't me to drag you out of here!"

            I raised my voice intently. I didn't understand this. How the hell could have have known. The crazy ass groundskeeper looked at me almost as though he was looking at someone else.

My mouth dropped open and I demanded standing up, "How the hell does he know my father?"