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Mouth Full of Bullets




How many ways can you tell someone to shut up?

I tap my foot on the floor, "Silencio, por favor."

Etienne just ignored me and kept talking. He has a heavy asthma and heavy breathing with this slow speech. Wasn't this a reform school? I couldn't imagine how bad this kid's parents thought he was to send him here. He seemed like he was a nerd all of his life.

"No, Mr. Clinton," he replied and shook his head, "I promised Ms. Trials I would help you get familiar with school policies. Rule Number 56...no foul language..."

"Like `this is some bullshit', huh?" I ask.

"Yes...I mean, Syn!"

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. I was glad to get up off the bed and go get it. Another minute and I could see myself choking out Etienne and ending up in jail rather then a reform school.

I opened the door groaning as I did. I was more then surprised to see Ty, Jules and Monte all standing there with their coats on. Jules was sucking on a lollipop and both Ty and Monte wore smiles on their faces.

"We came to save you," Ty said and smiled, "Come on."

"I got his coat," Jules said.

Before I could agree, Ty had pulled me out and Jules ran to get my coat. I could hear Etienne threats to go tell Ms. Trails already that I was skipping his little orientation.

I had no idea where we were going as we walked outside into the moist heat of the evening. It was getting dark and I was almost sure by the way they were sneaking about that we weren't supposed to be out around this time.

The weather was so humid even though it wasn't really cold. Jules was skipping ahead and him and Monte were going about pretending to be Dorothy and the Tin man. It was obvious Jules was Dorothy.

Ty drifted, kept looking back...obviously scared someone would see us walking off the premises.

"You nervous?" I ask him.

"Why you say that?"

"You said you came to save me, but you look like the one in danger," I explained

"They are real strict...like we could get the stick for this."

"The stick?"

"You don't want to know," he said and shook his head, "I never got it...but Etienne has. Before he got it he used to always hang with us...till they came and took him away and gave him the stick."

"They probably shoved it up his ass," I stated.

I rolled my eyes. It was real juvenile that Ty was really sitting here concerned with something as made up as that. I did feel bad for him though. He was the son of some mean old little guy named "the Baron."

"You joke a lot," he told me, smiling.

"I don't joke," I say giving him a serious look.

He seemed to find this even funnier for some weird reason. He smiled and looked up at me. Our eyes connected.

It was a quick second before the next question was asked without a smile.

"Did Sampson joke a lot too?"

Real weird...why was he asking about Sampson? It was real out of the blue. I thought about it though. It was tough talking about Sampson.

"To a degree..."

"Are you sure you loved him?" he asked.

"If it exists...it exists within him," I explained.

We found another exit out of the main gates and were heading towards this path that seemed to fog up intensely. I couldn't even see what was in front of me. Jules and Monte were beginning to disappear ahead of us.

"Here give me your hand," Ty said.

I hesitated for a second. I didn't want to be dependent on anyone, but the fog was getting so thick and I was far from used to this area, so I put my hand into his. He held it. His hand was soft...but strong.

To my surprise, he put his fingers individually in between me, locking them into place. Then I felt him getting closer as we move through the fog.

"I can't see a damn thing."

"You can hold onto me if you want," he stated and looked over at me, locking eyes.

He didn't mean anything besides what he was saying, but it was so sweet. Ty was sweet as hell. He reminded me of when I first met Sampson. Sampson was real sweet until all the drama started. The attraction I was feeling towards Ty now was so...so damn similar to what I felt back then.

"I'm ok," I refused and looked over, "This fog is too thick. How far are we going?"

"Right to the lake," he stated, "You want to hear the story behind this?"

"This entire place has a story doesn't it."

"Well it continues off from where I left off about Madame Tini. When they took her lake from her, this mist started to show around the lake. It's real heavy...all year around."

"It's spooky. Hope ya'll aren't try to pull anything on me. I don't go down as easy as that bitch from Thriller."

"Oh you don't? I got you out this far trusting me easily."

I smiled. He was right. I was following his ass through the thick fog without any question. He stopped walking though. I couldn't even see why he stopped. I could hear water around us though. But I heard something else. I heard talking within the distance. Jules and Monte were right in front of us before I knew it.

"We should probably head back," Jules stated.


Monte shook his head, "Jules's boyfriend is over there?"

My eyebrows arched.


Jules rolled his eyes, "Juboo Clark. I had a crush on him for the longest time. He is so fucking sexy. Him and his crew are at the lake so we are fresh out of luck."

"Why don't we just go join them?" I ask.

They all looked at me as though I had just walked into a Synagogue selling bacon. I hated it. It was like, "What the hell are you looking at?" They continued to stare at me though with this weird look, but for the longest no one said anything.

"Syn's right...why not?"

"Uh...because they'll whoop our ass," Jules stated, crossing his arms, "Especially me. I'm the local school fag."

Monte shook his head, "Jules is right. Those boys are bad news, Syn. They are like the delinquents of this school. They break all the rules."

"Seems like my crowd."

Ty crossed his arms, "Let's talk about this for a second...wait...hey! Syn! Wait!"

He was calling after me as I made my way through the heavy ass fog. I hated waiting for people to make up their mind. They seemed to take forever. Especially scared people. Ty was the only one putting up this front like he wasn't scared but I knew they all were. I just didn't understand the concept behind fear of another being. We all had the same blood. We all bled. No one could shit gold. Our bodies were only temporary. It was our beliefs that made us who we were.

Before I knew it, I saw a group of boys. They were all gathered around tossing rocks into the pond. Real bad ass huh?

"Yo, it's the new boy," one of them said.

They looked around. They were definitely probably the `cool' kids in the school. There were about four of them. They were all tall and handsome...all of them kind of looked the same. The darkest one looked over my way. He was dark but his eyes were a grayish color. There was another one I recognized who had on a red cap. I had bumped into him in the cafeteria. He was the one who told me not to sit at Ty's table.

"Who the fuck invited him?" the boy with the red cap stated.

Who did he think he was talking to? I crossed my arms and looked over at the lake. I couldn't see the other side of it through all this fog. They were all gathering around throwing rocks into the pond.

"Wilson cool it man," the one with the pretty gray eyes stated and walked over to me, extending his hand, "And who are you lil' man?"

"Little?" I asked refusing to shake his hand, "I'm Syn. I came to look at the lake."

"Well you seen it pimp. Now hit the pavement," the guy Wilson stated from a distance causing the rest of them to laugh a little bit.

Gray eyes turned over, "Damn Wilson...he's new."

The other two boys hadn't stopped laughing from Wilson's lame attempt to I guess punk me. Wilson himself made for a bad bully. He didn't seem all that aggressive. It wasn't believable. I'd seen worse really on the Disney channel. I've dealt with worse.

"Juboo calm down," Wilson replied, "I'm just fucking with his punk ass."

"So you're Juboo?" I asked looking over at gray eyes and smiling.

He smiled back. His eyes were real deep. Hypnotizing.

"You heard about me?"

He was saying it in a cocky way as though he wasn't really surprised and it people recognized him so much that he had reason to be conceited. He seemed like he could easily be conceited.

I lied, "No...but Juboo, you should really clean up after yourself if you are going to come all the way out here to use the bathroom. Look, you left a piece of shit over there."

They all got quiet. Juboo let out a slight smile though but I could tell he was suppressing a laugh. I pointed over to Wilson and watched his mouth drop.

Wilson got up off the rock he was slouched over on, "What the hell did you just say?"

"I called you a piece of shit," I replied, "As in waste. Isn't that what you are? I mean really think about it. I know you're type. How many times you go around hoping that your muscles can make up for everything you lack?"

"Wow," one of his friends stated.

"Yeah, I know, I'm disrespectful aren't I?" I asked, "Juboo this is your friend isn't it? Tell me if he fits the profile. Is he the guy who dates the whores? Is that because no decent girl would date him? Is he the one who picks on the fag but is extra sweet to him in private. Extra...extra...sweet. Is he the one who never tells his scores on tests but always seems to have a problem with the teacher?"

Juboo laughed, "Yo Wilson...you were just talking about Peter's grading..."

Wilson pushed Juboo out the way and looked me in my eyes, "Little boy I will break you."

He didn't know but I planned on doing the same thing. I'd break him through his mind.

"You are meeting the profile aren't you?" I stated, "You wouldn't be so upset if you weren't. You are the crumb under the table. The one that realizes he is going to be forgotten and is trying everything in his power to be somewhat important. You pick on the weak...you try to get cool points...but its inevitable. You can't be in school forever, especially with the grades your getting. The pretty girls are all going to trade you in for a man. You'll be alone and that's your worst fear, but it's going to happen. You'll be nothing more then a crumb..."

He swung at me. I expected it though. I mean, they always swing. That's how they try to regain their sense of control. His fist missed me. He backed up after looking real irritated but then tried again.

This time I was pushed out of the way!

Ty had just taken the punch for me. I was surprised as he fell to the floor. I felt kind of bad as I saw the impact. Then I was amused. That could have been me. That would have been some funny hilarious shit. I had a huge mouth.

Wilson didn't even say anything. He just went stomping off into the mist and away from the lake. I could tell he was upset. He was pissed off as a matter of fact.

The other two boys followed behind him. Both their mouths were opened like they didn't understand exactly what was going on. Juboo looked down at Ty. I could see the nonchalant in his eyes. Then he looked over at me with his deep eyes.

"Why the hell did you do that?" I asked.

"Are you ok?" Monte said, as though putting things in priority, dropping to the floor and helping Ty up, "Damn..."

"Yeah, he don't hit that hard. I slipped, he didn't knock me over," Ty excused.

"Hunny, he knocked you over," Jules replied.

I was still stuck on my question, "Why'd you do that?"

He shrugged his shoulders and looked over at me, "I don't know. I just...I don't know..."

"And I thought I was crazy..."

He shook his head, "Well there's a pair of us."

"Well look, we got the area to ourselves now."

I looked around. It was dreary. Jules started to smile as we sat around watching Monte throw rocks into the water. He was the only one obviously in the mood for throwing rocks. He had a good arm for a so called `nerd'.

I sat next to Ty. I was still confused on why he jumped in the way like he did. Maybe he was just being instinctive or maybe he felt some type of responsibility for me. Regardless of the fact, I felt like it was a stupid move. I was used to getting attacked, but by the gloomy expression on his face, I could tell this was probably the first time he got punched. It seemed like it completely ruined his day.

"I can't believe you were talking to...Juboo," Jules stated and pretended to faint in this gay ass way, "Isn't he so hot. We heard the conversation from over there. I wanted to just jump in. I love that boy...ahh..."

"Why didn't you speak to him then?" I asked.

"You know how it is? You get shy around people you like. You know..."

"No I don't..."

"Well you know right, Ty?"

Ty nodded, "Yeah. It makes sense Jules."

Jules smiled, "I never spoke to him. I'm too scared, but we talk all the time...in my mind."

"Does this sound like the plot of Stephen King's Misery to anyone else but me? Are you going to cut off his legs so he can stay with you? Let me know now, cause I don't do crazy people..."

It wasn't a joke and no one took as one but Monte. He seemed to find everything I say somewhat funny and I was beginning to realize it. Jules just crossed his arms. I could tell he was embarrassed and he should have been. He sounded crazy.

"Ease up, Syn," Ty defended Jules, "Jules is in love. He can't help how he


"Does Juboo even acknowledge you? How do you fall in love so quickly?"

"There is such a thing as love at first sight," Ty said.

Ty with his love theories again. Their personalities were definitely coming to light. I could feel that if I were to argue with him, he wouldn't want to give up about it anytime soon. I just bowed out...

Monte stopped throwing rocked and walked over to us, "Ty you're a virgin..."

"So the fuck what!" he said jumping to his feet, "I know how it feels to be in love at first sight."
"Ok, you guys drop it," Jules said, "You know how Ty gets..."

"What the hell does that mean?" Ty asked.

Jules through up his hands as though throwing in the towel. Ty did seem to be extra on edge about the even mention of the word love. He was getting real upset. It was kind of hilarious. He was taking this real serious.
"Ok let's just change the subject," Monte stated, "Lets talk about Syn digging into that boy...that was hilarious..."

"It really wasn't. He could have gotten hurt," Ty stated, "He's not here to entertain you."

"Can you two just calm down," Jules stated.

"No, what's your problem with me Ty?" Monte asked.

"You find everything so funny," Jules replied, "This whole thing with Syn. Everything about love. The fact that I'm a virgin. What's so hilarious to you? This is our lives...man...I'm leaving..."

He got up off the rock and started to walk away leaving Monte and Jules there confused. I followed behind him. I felt like that was the best thing, since he seemed to be real irritated with everyone else.

He was emotional. It was obvious. He was an emotional person and usually I disliked overly emotional people, but he had something about him. Something that seemed pure. Maybe that is why I was following behind him now.

"Hey don't leave," I stated as we got far enough away from the lake that I realized he wasn't going to turn around on his own.

"Why not?" he stated continuing to walk and not turning around.

I grabbed him and turned him around myself, "Come on. Monte is just lighthearted. I don't think he means anything about it."

"You seem to read people real well, Syn, because you're right. He doesn't mean anything by it. That is the problem. He doesn't take things serious. It gets annoying for someone to just dismiss everything I believe in to the fact that I'm a virgin."

We stood there and looked at each other.

"People do that...all the time. You said I'm a joker remember? I don't joke. I just say unexpected shit sometimes and people don't know how to deal so they laugh."


"No, no...admit it. You were doing the same thing to me earlier."

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

"It's cool, besides them two aren't brave enough to swim across that lake with me. I want to see this Madame Tini."

"What! No...we...we can be expelled for that," Ty argued, grabbing onto my arms as though securing me in place now, "Plus you don't know the stories about Madame Tini. Her craft is real. Believe me. No one goes over onto her property...night or day. No one goes to the other side of the lake...no one10..."

"Ok, ok I get it...damn."

"Promise me..."

I wasn't going to do that. He had gotten me all wondering about the mystery of Madame Tini and now he was going to promise me I couldn't figure out exactly who she was. I had to find a way to change the subject.

"Why do you care? I mean...no one's here. Tell me about earlier too. Why did you jump in front of that guy."

He was quiet thinking about his answer. Good...he was going to forget about Madame Tini. He licked his full lips and his lower one was moving a little bit as though kind of nervous.

"Wilson is an ass. You are cool."

"Yeah, a Mr. Cool. I don't run into people like you too often. You have personality. I like that. Too-Cool-for-School, Mr. Cool. I'm going to call you that," he said and laughed.

"We have pet names for each other now?"

His smirk stayed stuck there for a while. We looked at each other silently watching one another. His hands were put stuffed in his pocket and his long curl hair was trapped in a rubber band pulled back away from his face. He smiled at me.

"I should go," he stated.


"I mean I'm over those guys," he stated and then raised his eyebrows, "So unless you wanted me to stay for whatever reason."

If I hadn't known better...I'd think...no, impossible. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Go if you want."

"You sound upset that I'm leaving...aww..." he stated and laughed, "Are you pouting?"

I pushed him. That was embarrassing. I was trying my hardest not to sound upset

that he was leaving but I had completely forgotten to control my face.

He laughed even harder when he saw that I was embarrassed.

I just pushed him again trying to stop his laughter and said, "Well you want to

leave me so bad."

He grabbed me and pulled me into him. For a minute...God...it reminded me so

much of Sampson. It reminded me of how Sampson used to grab me and pull me close to him before kissing me so hard that I thought he was going to steal my face.

This wasn't Sampson though. It was Ty. This wasn't my boyfriend.

"I don't want to leave you. Just ask me to stay..."

For a minute I wanted him to stay. I just wanted to be around him, but I remembered he wasn't Sampson. No matter how his movements were similar, he wasn't Sampson. He wasn't even gay. He was Ty and I needed to stop thinking that way.

"No...goodnight," I stated and smiled.

"Are you sure? I mean I don't mind. I didn't meant to make it seem like I wanted

to leave," he was telling me. He was real apologetic as though he had offended me.

For a moment it was almost as though he really wanted to stay...even more then I wanted him to.

"Nah, I'll go hang out with Jules and Monte. You get some rest."

"Um...ok I guess," he stated.

He turned and walked away. I had a feeling that I had somehow offended him, but then it just felt like all this subtle offenses would just drive me nuts, so I threw it out of my mind and waved. He was a cute person.

I walked back to the lake trying my hardest to find Monte and Jules. They were sitting where I had left them. Now both of them were skipping rocks in the water and looking through the mist. Jules was the first one to notice me return.

He looked upset as I walked back alone.

"Damn was he that mad?" Jules asked.

"He was more irritated then mad," I replied and smiled, "He'll get over it."

"His problem is he's too emotional," Monte explained from afar, "He too sensitive. Look at how protective he is over you and he just met you..."

"Me?" I asked.


"Well, then you guys shouldn't tell him I'm about to do what I'm about to do."

"What is that?"

"I'm swimming across that lake. I'm going to introduce myself to Madame Tini."

They both looked at me as though I was playing some type of joke. When they saw me taking off my shoes however, it was obvious that I definitely wasn't joking. All of a sudden a look of horror spread from Monte to Jules.