Date: Sun, 29 Oct 2000 21:49:55 EST
From: Double A
Subject: Broken Dreams...Part 12

	I lay in bed and looked up at the ceiling, my arm around Chris's body and
his head resting on my shoulder. Life was quite good, but I didn't want to
jinx it. Despite the comfort I got from stroking and playing with Chris's
hand, as it lay on my chest, it did little to reduce the tension in my mind.
I still didn't trust fate to allow a sod like me to remain for too long, let
alone forever, with an angel like Chrissie. I don't know if he noticed the
tightness with which I held him, and if he did, he didn't comment; He just
snuggled in closer to me and smiled in obvious contentment. I had this
idiotic notion, I suppose, that if I held Chrissie long enough, maybe it
would increase the chances that he'd stay with me and never leave me, like
everybody else did.

	I turned my head and met Chris gaze. Smiling back at him, I whispered, "I
love you." and then leaned down and kissed him. We stayed like that for a
minute, before he pulled back and slid out of my bed.

	"I love you too," he said, "but I should probably go. My mom must be sort
of wondering where the heck I am, and I left my car back at school, so I
have to take the subway back to get it."

	I stood up and followed him back to the door, where he slipped his shoes
on.

	"So, you really have to go, eh?" I asked, half of humour and half of
honesty.

	He nodded and smirked slightly, "Yeah, I do. I'll see you at school, okay,
Dave?"

	I nodded, "Yeah. So you later, Chrissie."

	He opened the door and, on his way out, slipped me a quick kiss and said,
"I'll miss you."

	The door swung shut behind him and I turned around and stared at the blank
wall.

	"I'll miss you too, baby." I said to it.

	I wish I could say that we did that every day after school from then on,
but Chris became quite cautious around me. He said that he was afraid of
people finding out that we were boyfriends and, even though he didn't care
what people thought, it was still much easier for both of us, if we just
kept our relationship to a minimum at school.

	One day, on Friday afternoon, I was sitting in the cafeteria and eating a
mini cheese pizza, when Chris sat down at the table.

	"Hey, Dave." He said, looking nervous.

	"Hey, Christopher." I replied, "What's up?"

	He shrugged and said, "I was just kinda wondering...I mean..."

	"What?" I said, "What's bothering you, baby?"

	He looked around to see if anybody heard me, and then leaned in closer and
whispered, "Do you...like...have any plans this weekend?"

	I shrugged, "Nope. Why? Do you want to do something?"

	He shrugged and I saw him look down at the table.

	I began to get worried, "Chris? Are you okay?"

	He slowly looked up again and I could see tears streaming down his face,
"I...I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm doing this. I've just been thinking
about you all week and every night I just lay in bed and...I dunno what to
do anymore."

	I felt for him and wanted to just hug him, but, of course, I couldn't.

	"Aww, poor baby." I whispered, "What do you think about?"

	He shrugged and sniffled back his tears, "I...I mean, it doesn't really
matter. I was sort of wondering if I could...I mean...can I stay with you
this weekend?"

	I was in shock. "With me?" I stuttered.

	He immediately backed up, "I'm probably being really forward and you're
probably thinking I'm some freak, but...I liked...I mean, when we were lying
in bed. I liked that."

	I nodded, "I liked that too, and if you want to stay with me this weekend,
then I'd love it if you did."

	He smiled, "Okay...Do I...you know...just come over after school? I mean,
you go home and I'll tell my mother I'm going up north, and I'll pack and
come over. Are you sure it's okay?"

	I nodded, "Of course it's okay."

	You smiled finally, "Great. I mean, it's going to be fun. I really do love
you, you know?"

	I smiled too and said, "I love you too, sweetie."

	We sat there and just looking at each other for a while. It was nice to
just be able to look at him and silently admire how beautiful he really was.

	Eventually, though, he said, "Well...I guess I should go to class, or
something. I'll...umm...I guess I'll see you tonight."

	"Yeah, I'll see you tonight, Chris." I said, as I watched him get up and
leave.

	Summer vacation was just around the corner, and Chris was going to spend
the weekend with me. My paranoia was slowly beginning to drain away as I
realized that maybe, just maybe, Chris was really serious about staying with
me. I loved him so much and it appeared as if he actually loved me as much
as I loved him. This weekend would prove to be fun, I was sure.