Date: Sun, 23 Apr 2000 01:14:51 EDT
From: Double A
Subject: Raven Hair(29)

Disclaimer:

     After a hiatus of sorts, I am back with another story! Yay!
Anyway, due to personal problems, I've been unable/unwilling to write much
of anything for a long time. Here is a new story from me to you. For those
of you who know my style and enjoy it, you should really like this
one. Like I said, though, I haven't written anything for a while, so I may
be a bit rusty. For those who don't know my style, I tend to use a lot of
build-up and "storyline".  So, if you came on to find a story for a quick
jack-off, then this probably ain't for you. However, if you want to take
the time to read a beautiful tale of young love, then sit back, take a sip
from your glass of wine, and enjoy!

And remember...Always stand up for what you think is right, don't listen to
bullshit, no matter who is saying it, and always speak with your fists and
swear a lot to be heard!

******************

Part 29:

	David stood at the pay phone a block down from the Palace for what
seemed like a long time. He had grown to fear calling people on the
phone. He was always afraid that they'd not be glad to hear from him, but
this time he was totally sure of it. He didn't know what to say to Aaron or
how to act. He didn't know where to begin to talk. He wanted to be insulted
and put down, but he didn't want Aaron to do it, but he did. He just was
totally unsure.

	So, like taking a drink of bitter medicine, David picked up the
phone, put in a quarter and quickly dialled the number. He stood there
while it rang, thinking to himself, "Hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up,
hang..." and finally he did and his quarter fell down to the coin slot.

	"I can't do this!" He exclaimed out loud, walking away from the pay
phone.  After a few steps, he ran back to it, took the quarter out of the
coin return and put it in the slot again. "I have to do this!" he said,
then dialled Aaron's number and waited again.

	"Hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up." He thought, but the more his
desire to disconnect mounted, the tighter he held the receiver against his
ear.

	A million rings later, even though it was really only four, David
heard the familiar voice of Aaron's father answer the phone. It hadn't
changed one bit, and David's new concern was the swallow back the tears
that were trying to make their presence felt in a big way.

	"Hello?" Aaron's father said.

	"Umm...Hi." David stuttered, praying that his voice wasn't
recognized, "Is...is Aaron h...home from school y...yet?"

	Apparently, his voice wasn't detected, or else Aaron's father's
voice showed no indication, as he replied, "Yes, he just walked in a few
minutes ago. He was about to jump in the shower, though, so I hope I can
catch him.  Who may I say is calling?"

	David's body shivered and his palms were slick with sweat as he
responded, as calmly as possible, "David."

	"Okay then, lemme see if I can get him."

	David waited on the phone and tried to rehearse a million different
things he planned on saying to Aaron. How should he act? Should he goad
Aaron into insulting him or let him do it on his own. Ultimately, though,
it would just be spur of the moment, David assumed. The truth was, though,
he was rehearsing fairy tale moments in his mind, whereas he was standing
in the very hub of reality and things were, most likely, not going to turn
out as la dee da as he prayed they would.

	Again, after what seemed like forever, a voice that was almost
unfamiliar came over the phone. "Yeah, what?"

	David wanted to say and do many things. He wanted to squeal in
pleasure, he wanted to sob in misery, but at this point he thought that the
proper thing for an eighteen-year-old guy to do, would be to simply say
hello, so he did.

	"Hi, Aaron." He said, "It's...umm...David."

	That was the wrong answer, as far as David was concerned. He could
have said a million things, but now this conversation was headed to two,
maybe three exchanged, before the inevitable hang-up that David had planned
on the whole time.

	There was a long pause, then Aaron replied, "Okay, which David?"

	David couldn't help smile at that reply, but the smile quickly went
as he took a deep breath and replied, "David Levine." then closed his eyes
and listened for click.

	There was another long pause, and then Aaron replied, "Oh...*deep
breath*...Oh...Okay. Umm...Hi, David."

	David opened his eyes. Aaron had said "Hi David." He hadn't said,
"hi DAVID." to be insulting, or "*Hi* David" to be sarcastic. He had said,
"*Hi* David" like this was just another conversation that they had and he
was genuinely happy to hear his voice. David knew something was up.

	"Hi, Aaron." He replied, "How are you?"

	"O...kay, I guess. How's British Columbia?" Aaron responded.

	David sighed quietly, then replied, "It was okay. I'm not there
anymore."

	"Oh. So, where are you?"

	David smiled, "I'm back in Montreal, Aaron."

	There was a long pause, and then Aaron asked the question that
David had been waiting for, "David...Why are you calling me?"

	David shrugged, then replied, "Umm...Because...I don't know,
Aaron."

	There was another pause and, even over the phone, David could feel
the tension. He just wanted to hang up and cry.

	"Where are you, David? I mean, the city?" Aaron asked.

	David opened his mouth to reply, but instead of words, he just
began to cry. He only managed to say, "Just outside the Palace." before he
became incoherent.

	"Okay." Aaron answered, "I'll be there in twenty minutes."

	"You...you will?" David sobbed, but before he got the second "you"
out, he heard the click and the connection ended.

	David put down the phone and looked around. Was this some sick
prank? Maybe it was a dream conjured up by David's cruel imagination? David
didn't have the courage to call someone who, only two years ago, made his
life totally miserable. He especially didn't have the courage to spend even
five minutes talking to him. The only part that seemed even somewhat
believable was when he burst into tears. Life was so unfair to do this to
him.

	Still, he was here anyway and he didn't have anything better to do,
so he stood in front of the Subway and simply waited. He was sort of
hungry, but he didn't have enough money for a tuna sub, which was the only
kind of sub that he's eat.

	The twenty minutes went by really slowly, as far as David was
concerned, and he felt like such an idiot. Why did he actually wait? Did he
really expect someone like Aaron to come see him? Even if he did, it would
only be to insult him and make him feel bad. To top off the wonderful day
that David was having, it looked like it was going to snow and, as well,
David was probably going miss American Pie, because he was standing there
waiting for some former love, with dried tears on his fat, ugly stupid
face. He looked like such a fucking moron. No, scratch that! He was a
fucking moron! Nothing but a stupid fucking idiotic moron! He wanted to
kill himself. No more worries of pain. He deserved the pain. He felt no
fear, he could toss himself off a building, or cut off his own head. No
more stupid medication overdose. He needed something more sure. He needed
something more final. He needed....

	"David?"

	David spun around and his eyes met the eyes of a guy standing
behind him.

	"Yeah? What?" He sniffled and replied, not knowing how this guy
knew his name, but knowing it couldn't be good.

	The guy smiled and looked at David with his dark green eyes and
David knew who it was even before he said anything.

	"You don't recognize me? It's me...It's Aaron." The guy responded.

	David wiped his moist eyes with his hand and looked at him. The guy
standing before him looked almost nothing like the Aaron Sternzus that he
remembered. The black clothing, with the purplish-gray sweater were gone,
and replaced with blue jeans and a yellow and green ski jacket, with a red
T-shirt visible underneath. The slight overhanging of his stomach was gone
and replaced with a very flat looking belly and some slight pectoral
definition visible beneath his T-shirt. The youthful, smug face was gone
and replaced with a mature-looking appearance. Instead of pubescent
whiskers, he now had a somewhat unshaven look and appeared to be trying to
grow a goatee.  The braces from his teeth were gone and his forest-green
eyes that David loved so much were now beneath a pair of eye-glasses. His
pale skin was now tanned slightly to a more bronzed look. That beautiful,
long black hair with the blond streaks that had gone down to the middle of
his back was gone too, and was now a more neat, middle-of-the-neck length.

	As David stared at this person who claimed to be the Aaron with
whom he had spent two weeks, back when they were fourteen, the Aaron who
had been the first person he ever truly loved, and the Aaron who he had
shed enough tears over and because of that he could have filled a small
lake, David was struck with how old he truly was. This was Aaron, all
right, but it wasn't the childish, sixteen-year-old Aaron who he had loved
and who had made him feel miserable. This was a very adult Aaron who had
spent two years growing up and, by the look of him, had gone through many
changes.

	"Hi, Aaron." David replied, finally, "It's good to see you again."

	He didn't know whether to shake his hand, smile, hug, kiss, or
what, but Aaron answered that quickly, by replying, "Nice to see you too,
David." and extended his hand.

	David took it and, for the first time in his life, actually shook
hands with Aaron. He was pleased with how well this was going. He was also
confused.

	"What's been going on?" Aaron asked.

	David released Aaron's hand and stepped back. He shrugged and said,
"I dunno. I got back from British Columbia, then moved back with my
mom. School didn't work out so good, so now I'm basically got nothing to
do."

	Aaron smiled and shrugged, "I see. Well, I'm going to Dawson."

	David nodded, wanting to say many things, but holding back. "So,
how are things with you?"

	Aaron shrugged, then took off his glasses and put them in his
pocket.  "David?" He said, a look of seriousness coming over his face.

	David began to fear Aaron would say, but he still replied, "What?"

	Aaron shrugged again and, looking down at the ground like the Aaron
that David remembered, he said, "It's been bugging me for a few months now
and I was really sorry I didn't have a chance to tell you before...I mean,
before you left. I never thought I'd ever get the chance,
but...well...Dave...*deep breath*...I just wanted to say that I'm sorry,
okay?"

	"You're sorry?" David replied, running over those two words in his
head like they were a delicate tapestry, "For what?"

	Aaron stepped forward and put his hands in his pocket, "For
everything, Dave. For MIND, mostly. Things just started going downhill from
there, I guess."

	"Downhill?" David asked.

	Aaron shook his head, "It seemed like such a good idea, but it
wasn't supposed to be the way it was. You weren't supposed to feel as bad
as I made you feel. You weren't supposed to...to...to..."

	Aaron's voice trailed off, and he closed his eyes and put his hand
over his face. David shrugged and replied, "I wasn't supposed to leave?"

	Aaron uncovered his eyes and looked at David for a few seconds,
then nodded, "No, you weren't. I was...I was just...just so...so cruel. I
mean, I had you and you loved me and I threw it away for something
so...so..." His voice trailed off again and he pulled up the sleeve of his
jacket and David could see the red brand of Queen Elizabeth still burnt
into his arm.

	Aaron looked at the mark on his forearm and finished, "...For
something so wrong. I look at this sometimes and it makes me remember, you
know? I was hurt and I was crying and nobody cared. Sharon didn't care and
Mike sure as fuck didn't care! But, dammit David, you cared! I saw you
looking at me when I sat there on the floor! I told you I hated you and I
made of you, but when I was hurt, you still cared! And what did I do? I
hurt you again and again and I kept hurting you until you left. Even when
you left, you told me you loved me and I still told you off!"

	David stood there, a tingling mass of flesh. "You...you remember
all that?"  David stuttered.

	Aaron nodded, "Of course! I...I mean, it just stuck with me and I
just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I did so much to make you hurt and, for
what it's worth now, I'm sorry. Do you forgive me, Dave?

	David stood there for several seconds. Aaron was standing before
him, saying the things that David had wanted to hear, ever since Aaron had
walked out of the metro, without telling David what he said after Mike had
told him that he loved him. Still, though, the words filled David with a
chill colder than the winter winds that blew around him and David could not
even begin to explain to this guy what grief his actions had caused him.

	"No." David replied, sadly shaking his head.

	Aaron stepped back and looked at David, his bottom lip quivering
slightly.  David could see the tears glistening in eighteen-year-old's
eyes. Abruptly, Aaron turned around and quickly began walking away. David
just simply stood and watched him go. When he reached the video arcade a
few metres down, he stopped, turned around and walked back toward David
again. The wind was beginning to pick up and strands of Aaron's hair flew
about his face and stuck to the wetness of the tears that flowed down his
cheeks.

	When he was within about six feet of David, he stopped and wiped
his eyes with his hand, then said, "My bubby died on Sunday morning."

	David stepped toward him and shook his head, "I...I'm sorry."

	Aaron took a deep breath and let it out in a sob, then wiped his
eyes again and said, "She was really going off her gourd by the end, but
the last thing she said to me, the day before she died, when I visited her
at her house, was...well...She wanted to know when that nice David boy was
going to come visit. I...I mentioned you to her once. I mean, when we were
still friends, and...and I guess she never forgot you."

	David swallowed hard and shrugged, trying to change the
subject. "Wanna see American Pie? It starts in two minutes."

	Aaron sniffled and nodded, "Okay."

	The two of them paid the $2.99 and went inside to see the
movie. They both sat in the back row and talked a bit before the movie
started. David was hungry, but he was afraid to go get popcorn, because
maybe Aaron would be gone when he came back.

	Just as the previews started, Aaron turned to David and said, "I
understand."

	David turned to him and asked, "You understand what?"

	Aaron shrugged, "Why you don't forgive me. I mean, I know."

	"Okay." David replied, "Just so you understand."

	After a few more seconds, Aaron turned to David and asked, "So, why
did you call me, Dave? I mean, really?"

	David turned to him and shrugged. He didn't want to go into a whole
thing about how depressing life is for him now, because of how Aaron always
said that he was so depressing, so he simply smiled and said, "I just
wanted to see how things were."

	Aaron nodded, then turned back to the movie.

	The two of them watched it and laughed. American Pie was actually a
pretty funny movie. The three guys were in the middle of making the pact,
when David turned to Aaron. He didn't know why he said it or what brought
it on.  Maybe it was the movie, or what Aaron said before, or maybe it was
just God.

	"Aaron?" David asked.

	Aaron wiped his eyes again and smiled at David, "What? I'm trying
to watch here."

	David didn't smile back as he asked, "Do you...ummm...Do you want
to be my boyfriend again?"

	Aaron's smiled dropped and he repeated, "Do I want to be your
boyfriend again?"

	David shrugged, "Yeah."

	Aaron took a deep breath and tears began to flow down his face
again, "After everything I put you through...After all that I did to
you...After the misery I caused you...You still want me to be your
boyfriend?"

	David leaned in closer and whispered what he had wanted to tell
Aaron for the last two years, "Aaron, I love you more than anything in the
whole world. I can't live without you. When you're not around, I'm
miserable. When you're not around, I cry myself to sleep at night, because
I can't hold you.  I miss you."

	Aaron shrugged then opened his mouth and closed it again. Finally,
he opened his mouth and whispered back, "But I'm not the same Aaron you
remember. I'm not a young kid anymore and we can't have a corny kiddie
romance anymore."

	David shook his head and sobbed, "But I don't want a kiddie
romance! I want you, Aaron! I always only wanted you!"

	Aaron took a deep breath, "I don't know why I came here today. I
wanted to apologize, that's it. I didn't want for this to happen, but I
sort of knew it would. I don't know if I can be your boyfriend, David."

	David shrugged, "So, you're just not going to try?"

	Aaron looked at David and replied, "Dave, I lied when I told you
that I used you in Bialik. I was a scared, horny, fucking brat and I wasn't
sure what I wanted, but I did love you...in a childish, puberty sort of
way, I loved you. I never loved Mike or anybody else since then. I've tried
to, but I can't. I was hoping that by apologizing to you today, I could
clear my conscience and finally be free to go out and meet people. But, you
went and acted like you act and decided not to forgive me. That's so
unfair, David, but you want to know what's even more unfair?"

	"What?" David asked.

	Aaron smiled, "After seeing you today, I don't think I'll ever love
anybody else like I love you. Yes, David, I'll be your boyfriend, but only
because it seems that fate has the sick idea that we should be together."

	David leaned quickly over and wrapped his arms around Aaron's
body. "I missed you so much." He sobbed on his shoulder.

	Aaron patted his back and said, "Want me to suck you off?"

	David looked up again and smiled, "Okay."

	Aaron smiled back and slid down from the chair. As he reached for
David's zipper, he looked up at him again and asked, "Do you think you'll
ever forgive me?"

	David shrugged, "I dunno. It could take some time."

	Aaron smiled, "It's okay. I love you, even if you never forgive
me."

	David leaned back in his chair, "I love you too, Aaron." He
whispered.

	And so began their relationship again....