This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, business establishments or events is entirely coincidental. Comments and feedback are highly appreciated, send to email@example.com
The jarring sound of the alarm next door woke me up, but I remained limp and motionless in my bed. Downstairs I could hear footsteps and the clanking of pans. The house was coming to life, but I refused to join in. I stared at the ceiling, silently hating whoever invented school, and wondering what kind of awful person they must have been.
"Jeremy," I heard my mother call out, but I laid still. Maybe if I didn't move, they would forget me. Maybe they wouldn't notice. I heard someone trample down the stairs, like an elephant. I put the bed sheets over my head. Maybe if the outside world can't see me, I will actually become invisible. Almost every morning felt like this, like a struggle, a pathetic battle. Should I get out of bed? Think of a reasong to get up today. Think of a reason to live. I knew it was horrible to think that way. I knew I was supposed to feel lucky to be alive, so many other people were less fortunate than me. But for some reason I rarely felt like that. Most of the time I felt empty, empty and sad.
"Jeremy," my mom called out again. I wanted to ignore her, I really did, but I knew I couldn't for much longer. First day of Junior year in high school was staring me in the face, and there wasn't anything I could do to block it out. It was staring and laughing maniacally, because if high school liked anything it was torturing kids like me. Kids who didn't fit in, kids who walked differently, thought differently, loved differently. I was in for another year of hell. Another year of name calling, another year of feeling alien, another year of awkwardness and loneliness.
I stood in front of my full length mirror, lifeless and spiritless. I took a breath. I can do this. I slowly breathed in and out, tying to prepare myself for a long day. Why am I such a freak? I thought to myself as I looked at the pale flesh staring back at me. Why can't you be normal? I accusingly asked the person staring back at me. Why can't you just blend in? I was getting no answers. I continued to look at my own hated reflection. I poked at my stomach, which was flat but had almost no muscle definition. I grimaced. Then I ran a hand through my medium length sandy hair. I tried to make it look presentable, but gave up half way. There is no way to fix you, you're a permanent freak, I silently yelled at myself. I looked at my face, tired and haggard, frowning. I closed my eyes and sighed. All of a sudden I heard the elephant footsteps running back up again, and then my door slammed open and a bitchy face with long brown curly hair looked in.
"Breakfast is ready, pervert. Don't make me come up again. Ughhh," groaned my sister and ran back down. And the day just started, I thought.
I threw on a grey sweater and dark blue jeans and slowly made my way down the stairs. The kitchen was filled with the smell of bacon and eggs. It was a nice aroma, but even delicious food smells couldn't make this day better. My stomach was in knots from anxiety, but I knew I had to eat something. My mom wouldn't let me walk out of the house without having at least a bite, she was very strict about breakfast. The table was stacked with food, if my mom loved anything it was cooking. She was a great cook and I wasn't sure how I remained so slim all these years.
"There you are honey," she said in a soothing voice. I half smiled and plopped down on a chair. She pushed a plate full of food in front of me, and I started eating slowly, even though I wasn't really hungry.
"Kayla, will you take those earphones out? We're having breakfast together honey," my dad scolded my sister who was blasting Katy Perry so loud on her Ipod it was a miracle she didn't go deaf. She scarfed down half of her plate and got up to go. She was actually excited for school. I had never known that feeling and couldn't imagine what it would be like. To wake up and be happy to go to that place. School was my own personal hell, but I suppose she actually had things to look forward too, unlike me. She had her group of annoying, gossipy girlfriends. She had some boy crushes, and could possibly date any one of them. School was like having a good time to her. I slumped even further into my chair thinking about it.
"Honey, where are you going?" my mom asked looking her up and down and frowning. My sister was wearing a tank top and probably the shortest shorts in the world.
"To school...duh mom. Geez." My mom chose to not comment on my sisters unfortunate outfit but instead said "I meant Jeremy is not done eating yet, aren't you guys going together?" My sister looked at my mom like she was a monkey in a dress.
"Are you kidding? Drive to school in the same car with him? I have a reputation to consider mom...he can walk."
"Kayla!" my mom yelled.
"Mom, it's fine. I like walking anyway." I said, which was true. I'd rather walk then ride with the slutty witch.
"See...the loser likes to walk." said my sister and ran out the door before my mom could scold her further. Of course in her hurry she left behind basically all her notebooks and school supplies. Not like she really needed them anyway, school was more of a social event for her then a place to learn anything. Either way I knew I had to pick up her crap and drag it with me.
"Don't pay attention to your sister, she's just at that age," said my mom soothingly. I flinched, I hated when she tried to make excuses for Kayla. I wish both of my parents would just admit that they conceived two horrible children, and leave it at that. There's no reason to sugarcoat it. I was a freak, an anamoly. Socially awkward, depressed, repressed. And my sister was simply dumb. We were both beyond redemption.
After the incident with my sister my dad quickly went back to reading his paper. This conversation was getting uncomfortable for him, and he didn't like to feel uncomfortable. Most of the time I think I make him feel uncomfortable and that's why he avoids spending time with me. He would rather hang out with my sister, watch sports, or read the paper. I actually like sports, but he doesn't know that, because I never watch anything with him. I know my presence makes him feel uneasy, and knowing that makes me feel uneasy, so now I try to avoid him too. It's almost like a game, whenever I come into a room, he leaves, and vice versa.
Thinking about my dad put me into an even worse mood, if that was still possible. So I rushed through my breakfast, got my backpack, grabbed Kayla's crap, and left. The walk to school was about 15 minutes, so I put my headphones in and zoned out, trying to prepare for the miserable hours that were heading my way. My neighborhood was a nice boring place. Clean cut, everything in it's place. Every fence perfectly white. Every house exactly the same. Every brick in the same position. But underneath it all there were families, all hiding their own dirty secrets. And if anyone knew anything about hiding secrets it was me. I was full of them. In fact IÂ had enough secrets to last me a lifetime. And I was walking around, carrying all of them like punishment, and they made for one heavy burden. But I just wasn't ready to face the ghosts in my closet, so I shut it, and locked it, and held the door closed like my life depended on it.
Entering the gates of hell called Barkley High felt like being in a slow motion movie. Everyone seemed bigger, louder, and simply surreal. I felt lost, small, and hopelessly awkward. People were talking to friends, laughing, catching up. Everyone looked and acted confidently, only I felt out of place. Or at least that's what I thought, maybe other people are just better at hiding their awkwardness. As I walked down the hallway I saw two familiar faces in the crowd and headed their way. My best friend Lena and my guy friend Taylor stood by the lockers, immersed in conversation. Lena spotted me first and as I approached she smiled and said
'"Hey Jear bear,"
Will you ever stop calling me that?" I asked, but laughed because to be honest I didn't mind too much.
"Nope," she said, proud of herself. Taylor laughed too.
"How's your summer been man?" he asked.
"Great." I answered, lying. It's funny but I used to have a huge crush on Taylor, couldn't even talk around him. Fortunately it passed before I did anything embarrassing. Now he was just my best guy buddy. And I was really greatful for that because he was a nice guy. Unlike some other jerks at the school. He was just a cool kid, who fit in with everyone. The kind of guy everyone liked. I envied him, but never felt bitter or angry towards him because he deserved to be liked. He was just a nice person. After some small talk we got our schedules and the day passed on uneventfully, which in my case was good, until it was time for lunch. I sat in the cafeteria with Lena, staring at my apple and chocolate milk. As usual I wasn't really hungry. Lena was discussing her day with another friend. Then I heard it, "faggot." It wasn't loud, but it wasn't quiet either. But I could hear it, always, because I knew it was directed at me. I turned my head and saw Chad and his buddies snickering while they looked at me. I lowered my head and went back to staring at my apple. I didn't even really care at that point, I was so desensitized to it, I just wanted this dreadful day to end. I remembered that I still had my sister's stuff in my backpack, so I got up and made my way to her table. My sister was on her way to becoming one of the cool kids, and she was gonna get there no matter what it took. It was honestly probably her only goal in life, and for that I pitied her. One of the jocks was starting to notice her, which gained her a few popular girlfriends, which in turn made her think she was something really special. So now she sat with a few cheerleaders and some jocks. I could see her eyes burn holes in me as I made my way to her table. Knowing I was embarassing her was probably the highlight of my day.
"What do you want," she snapped. Her whole table was staring at me like I had two heads or something. I opened my backpack and pulled out her stuff.
"You left your stuff at home."
"Ugh, whatever. Go away."
I rolled my eyes at her and started zipping up my backpack and that's when I saw him. And what a sight it was. All of a sudden nobody was looking at me anymore. Everyone's attention turned to the new guy. And for once I was following the crowd and doing exactly the same thing as them, staring.
One of the jocks spoke up. "Hey, Mark right?"
"Yeah, and you're Jimmy? Your cousin told me to meet him over here." The new guy replied, and he had the nicest voice I've ever heard, if that makes any sense. It was low, and sort of raspy, but soft and nice at the same time.
"Yeah cool, he should be here any minute. Go ahead and sit." The new guy sat down and as he did our eyes met, and I think I blushed because he smiled. My sister followed his gaze mortified to find me still by her side. "Leave," she whispered viciously. I closed my backpack and walked away, my heart thumping like crazy for some unknown reason. I sat back down at my own table next to Lena.
"What happened to you?" she asked curiously.
"Nothing," I replied slowly and dared to glance at my sister's table. All eyes were still on the new guy, and for a good reason. He was probably the most handsome person I've ever seen. Dark black hair, manly square jaw, beautiful green eyes, strong looking arms and hands. He was simply naturally handsome. The kind of guy that looks good in anything. And this guy, this gorgeous guy, for some reason was looking at me. He must be thinking of what a freak I am, why else would he look at me? I quickly looked away paranoid. Thankfully the bell rang just in time to save me. I rushed to my next class, praying for this day to just end. But of course the worst was yet to come. Gym class, ugh. I rushed in and out of the locker room. And went outside where our class met. I sat down, and waited for the other kids to join. After a boring lecture about the syllabus, the teacher let us hang out and socialize. This basically meant I sat by myself for 30 minutes. The rest of the day dragged on until at 3:00 the bell rang and I was finally free to go home and cry.
It was somewhat of a ritual for me. I cried a lot, it released stress and all the pent up rage I felt. I would go home, go into my bathroom, sit on the floor and just cry for a while. I didn't really know what I was crying about, but it felt good. Then I would go to sleep. Crying was better than my other methods of coping, like cutting, drinking, or taking my moms anxiety medication. I really tried to stay away from those. The results of the last time I cut were still visible on my wrists, except they were just deep white lines now. But after the last time I cut, after losing so much blood and being so close to possibly dying, I really tried to stay away from doing anything harmful. I knew I was prone to holding stuff in and letting it fester, so I tried to cry often, to have some sort of healthy release system that would enable me to make more rational decisions. So far it was working. But as I got close to my house I noticed my moms car was in the driveway. She must have gotten off early. I sighed, knowing I would have to put on a smile and not make her worry about me too much. I really just wanted some time to myself, which must sound bizarre considering how much alone time I already had, but after being surrounded by people all day all I really wanted was just to be alone. As I walked in the door I mentally tried to prepare myself for the onslaught of school related questions. My mother was in the middle of making lunch.
"Hey sweetie," she said as I entered the kitchen.
"Hey ma, you need any help?"
Sure, go ahead and chop that onion for me will you? How was school by the way?'
"It was okay. Nothing exciting."
Any cool classes?"
"Not really, except photography."
"Oh, black and white?"
"That's great honey. You can use my old 35mm if you want."
"Yeah that would be great. Thanks."
We ate lunch together until my sister walked in. She rolled her eyes at me and started stuffing her face with food. I was starting to think that she's bulimic, because she was eating for two but not gaining any weight.
"How was school?" my mom asked Kayla.
"Ugh stupid. But I met some cool new people."
"Oh, some new friends? Tell me more."
"Well there's this new guy in school, he's really hot. His parents got divorced and him and his mom just moved in a couple houses away from us." I gulped audibly. Could she be talking about the new hot guy? He's living just a few houses away?
"Well then we should go over, introduce ourselves sometime soon. Maybe invite them to dinner?"
"Yeah sure, whatever."
My mom cringed at my sisters lack of brain. Kayla was beyond dumb. I finished my food, washed the plates, and went up to my room. I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling. For some reason I couldn't get the new guy's face out of my head. I was already developing a crush, and a bad one at that, and that was not good. It would just make my school life so much more harder. I groaned thinking about it. All of a sudden my eardrums exploded with Britney Spears tunes coming from the room next to mine. I banged on the wall, but that just made the volume go up. "I fucking hate my life," I said to myself and covered my head with a pillow. Fortunately the stress of the day took its toll on my body and I drifted off to sleep, even in the midst of what could have been considered a fucking rave going on in my house. I woke up and patted my mattress, checking for any wetness. It didn't happen often, but it did happen, especially when I had the nightmares. But I tried not to think about it, it was too much to confront, and too humiliating and painful. So I just held it in. I checked my phone, I still had about an hour till I had to get up. I turned on my laptop and went on Facebook. I didn't really use it for too much, just to keep in touch with some cousins and my grandma. But this time around I went on my sister's page and checked for any new friend additions. I looked for one specific name, but to my disdain I didn't see it. Then I went to another page. A page I never wanted to see, but always ended up on anyway. Stuart Breckett, swimming instructor. The smiling face on the profile picture stared at me, mockingly. That stupid smile made me sick. I wanted to leave but I couldn't, so I just stared at his picture. It was him, with an arm around his wife. It made me want to vomit, but I kept looking, until my alarm went off. I closed the page and cleared my history.
I walked to school again, and nervously wondered if I was passing by the new guy's house. But I didn't see him anywhere. I walked in to my first class and sat all the way in the back. I doodled in my notebook until the sound of the bell signaled a welcome change of surroundings. Finally I made it to photo class, which I knew would be my favorite one. I loved photography, and was beyond excited to learn teh old school way to do things. I sat down next to Lena who decided to take the class with me. As I unzipped my backpack and dug around for my stuff a familiar face walked into the room. I immediately froze. It was him. He was holding a slip of paper, a schedule change. He was transferring into my class. Oh Jesus,Â I thought. I'm not so sure what I was afraid of. I mean I was nervous because I liked him, and I wanted him to like me, which I knew was absolutely impossible. So that left me feeling nervous about the fact that he might actually dislike me to the point of saying or doing something mean, like some of the other guys have over the years, and that would just completely devastate me. As I was going into a full fledged paranoid panic attack, I realized that Mark was making his was to my table. It was a four person table with two people per side. My side was already full, but the other side still had one seat open, right next to Julia Craig, a really bitchy nerdy girl. As he sat down, right across from me, both Lena and Julia seemed to swoon a little. Oh yeah, he had that effect on people. This annoyed me, so instead of swooning along with the girls, I frowned and looked down. I wasn't going to do this to myself, I wasn't about to swoon and completely humiliate myself then have him realize I like him and beat me up, no. So I tried my best to avoid eye contact as the final bell to begin the class rang. Lena nudged me and gave me the "what's wrong?" look but I ignored her. As the teacher repeated some stuff from the syllabus and introduced us to the dark room and it's equipment I could feel a pair of dark green eyes piercing their way into my soul, Why was he looking at me? Could he already tell I liked him? Even though I tried so hard to hide it.Ten minutes before the bell rang the teacher got called out of class, and left us with nothing to do. Lena and Julia were both making seductive faces at Mark, as I tried to keep my eyes down. Finally Lena said
"You're new in town right?"
"Yeah, just moved down here with my mom a few weeks ago. I'm Mark by the way."
"Lena, nice to meet you. And this is Jeremy," she said nudging me. I glared at her, then looked at Mr. Green eyes. He was gently smiling at me. I looked down and mentally kicked myself. God I was the most socially awkward, inept person in the world. I was ashamed of myself.
"Hey, I think we live pretty close to each other. You live on Rose street right?" Fuck, was he talking to me? Oh shit, all my oral abilities seemed not to function, as everyone at my table stared at me. Finally Lena laughed and said
"Use your words Jear," and then looked at Mark apologetically and said, "Sorry I don't know what's up with him today. He's out of it."
"It's okay, second day of school, I think we're all out of it." At this point my head was hung low in shame and I didn't dare to look at Mark anymore. I was beyond embarrassed at my own slowness. When the bell rang I grabbed my backpack and was the first person out the door. Fuck, so much for liking Photography. The rest of the day seemed a blur, as Lena tried to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. When 3 a'clock came around I couldn't be more relieved. I walked outside and down the front steps. I looked ahead and saw a group of people and realized Mark and my sister were among them. Fuck. Mark noticed me and smiled. My sister, who seemed to be totally over her jock and completely enamored with Mark, followed his gaze and seemed to mentally curse my mother for ever giving birth to me, when she saw where it landed. I picked up my pace and walked by as quickly as possible. Since the group was mostly popular kids I got a few glares and heard a few snickers, which was to be expected. But just as I was walking away I felt something wet hit my head. I turned around startled and saw a yogurt cup on the ground. I touched the back of my head, now conditioned with strawberry yogurt. I heard some laughter and then a commotion, but before I could realize what was happening and before they could see me burst into tears I ran home as fast as I could. Thankfully nobody was there. I ran upstairs and locked my door. I went into the bathroom, slid down the wall and let out a wall shattering wail of pain that has been building up. Why the fuck did my life have to suck this much? Why did someone hate me enough to throw yogurt at me? What the fuck did I ever do to anyone, besides simply existing. I continued crying for what seemed like forever. When I heard a car park in our driveway I turned the shower on and got into the scolding hot water. I sat down and let the water, the yogurt and my tears mix together and go down the drain. When I got enough strength I walked out and went to bed, refusing to have lunch. But my mom couldn't be thwarted for too long, so I had to come down for dinner. My dad and sister were already sitting at the table eating. I reluctantly grabbed a plate and started nibbling on some salad.
"So do you want to talk about what happened honey?" my mom asked. She realized I was in a terrible mood when I didn't come down for lunch and wouldn't talk to her.
"No, mom." She looked at my sister. "Can you please tell me what happened Kayla?" My sister was too busy texting to hear my mom. My mother grabbed her phone and gave her a fierce look.
"What happened to your brother?" My sister looked confused. Of course this traumatic event in my life was so insignificant to her that she had no clue as to what my mom was talking about. But then it finally clicked.
"Oh, Spencer threw yogurt at Jeremy's head, in front of like half the school. It was pretty embarrassing. It's like I have to work twice as hard to have friends because my brother happens to be a complete freak." I cringed, what a bitch.
"Kayla, you will not speak about your brother like that. Which Spencer, do I need to have a talk with that kid? Why would he do that?"
"No!" Kayla and I screamed simultaneously. Finally we agreed on something. My mom looked worried. My dad looked uncomfortable. Finally he said
"June, I'm sure the kids can figure this out by themselves. Don't embarrass them. They're old enough."
"But this boy needs to have some sort of consequences," protested my mother. And before I could argue with her my sister said something strange.
"Mom, trust me, I don't think he's going to throw yogurts anytime soon. Someone tore him a new one right after it happened." Both me and my mom were curiously staring at my sister now.
"What do you mean Kayla?"
"Well right after it happened Mark was like in Spencer's face, and they were yelling back and forth, and he was about to throw some punches but the school's security guard separated them. It was crazy." My jaw dropped. My mom looked confused.
"Who's Mark? Mom are you serious? Uhmmm only like the hottest guy on the planet. He's the new kid I was telling you about yesterday. Do you think this was his way of like telling me he likes me? Standing up for my retard brother?"
"Kayla! I've had enough of these insults. One more time and you're grounded."
My mom and sister kept bickering but I was tuned out. He stood up for me. He actually stood up to Spencer Jenkins for me. Only like one of he biggest guys in school. He stood up for ME. The wheels were turning in my head. What did this mean? Did he feel sorry for me? Maybe he's just a good person. There was a tiny, tiny little voice in my head saying "or maybe he likes you," but I quickly shook my head and thought "impossible". I was in a daze for the rest of the night, and when the morning came I was even more confused. How am I going to face him today. I was still mortified about him seeing me get hit with a damn yogurt. This shit could only happen to me. Finally I gathered whatever courage and dignity I had left and walked out the door. About three minutes into my walk a black car pulled up next to me, and I heard a "Hey, need a lift?" from the open window. I looked at the driver and blushed furiously. Of course it was him. I mumbled a no thanks and kept walking. The car followed me and I heard
"C'mon please. We're both going to the same place, there's no reason for you to walk. Plus I want to talk to you." I stood still in my tracks, mortified. What could he possibly have to say to me? This can't be good. "Please," he added, and I couldn't keep ignoring him. I got into the passenger seat. "Thank you," he said, even though it should have been me saying it. I gave the inside of his car a quick glance, trying to avoid his eyes. He was pretty neat for a guy. Besides his backpack and Ipod there wasn't much else laying around. I then decided to stare at my hands as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world. He started driving. It was silent for a while.
"Do you walk everyday?" he asked.
"Yeah," I replied meekly.
"Why? Your sister has a car." I didn't want to explain that my sister was too embarrassed to be seen with me so I just mumbled that I liked to walk.
"Cool. Well whenever you're not down for walking just let me know and you can catch a ride with me." I nodded my head, but I had no idea what he was saying. If my own sister doesn't want to drive me, why would the cool new kid want to? Maybe he doesn't understand the kind of social pariah I am around here. I need to save him from total social disaster and not let him be seen with me. We continued to drive in silence until he said
"Hey, I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday. That was so completely not cool. I just hope you know I'm not friends with that guy or anything." I raised my head and looked at him. He looked back. He was serious. I swallowed hard. Why was this amazingly beautiful guy being so nice to me?
"It's okay...if you are."
"If I'm what?" he asked.
"If you're friends with him. Everyone's friends with him."
"I'm not going to be friends with that douche bag. Not after what he did."
"Well if you're hoping to have any sort of social life you should probably rethink that decision." Wow, I actually formed a complete sentence around new guy. Success!
"Jeremy, I don't care if nobody at this school talks to me, I'm not going to be friends with some entitled dumb ass who thinks juvenile pranks are funny." My heart was beating fast from hearing him say my name, so it took me a while to catch the rest of the sentence.
"Thanks, but you really don't have to do that for me." He looked at me puzzled.
"You're kind of hard to read you know."
"Am I?" I asked surprised. I thought I was really obvious.
"Yes, I can never tell what you're thinking. But you always seem to be deep in thought." I was so confused and flattered at the same time. Has he ben watching me?
"Well here we are," he said as we parked in the student parking lot. We looked at each other. His eyes really were beautiful, I was getting completely lost in them. They were strong but kind, just like his face. God, getting over my crush on this guy will be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do, I thought to myself.
"Thanks for the ride."
"Anytime. I mean it. I like company on my way to school." We got out of the car at the same time. This is going to be awkward, I thought. Do we walk together or should I just go ahead. I don't want to embarrass him, he's already being too nice to me.
"What class do you have first?" he asked.
"Math with Mr. Coggs." He nodded.
"That's a rough morning start." I laughed. He grinned like a little boy.
"That's the first time I've seen you smile," he said. I looked at him and wondered why he was so perceptive. We reached my class and he smiled and said "Okay, see you in photo," and walked back the way we just came from, making me realize that for the first time in my life somebody walked me to class, just for the sake of walking me. I felt like tearing up. I had so many emotions running through my body. So many different feelings I couldn't quite contain. But one that was very new and puzzling was this sense of giddiness. I felt like a little school girl skipping in a flower field. What was happening to me? All morning I looked forward to and at the same time dreaded photo class. When I finally got to it, he wasn't there. I looked around nervously.
"Hey Jear Bear," said Lena.
"Hey," I replied still preoccupied.
"Wow, you're not even going to scold me. Who took the Jeremy I know and what have they done to him?" I smiled.
"Sorry, I just haven't been sleeping that well." She frowned and I knew what she would ask next.
"Are you having the dreams again?" Lena and my parents were the only people that knew about what happened.
"No, it's not that. I don't know, I guess I just think too much." Our conversation was interrupted by the photo instructor.
"Okay guys, today you're going to shoot your first roll of film. Mr. Norton, thank you for joining us late."
Sorry," said Mark as he sat down at our table. So that was his full name, Mark Norton. Our teacher continued.
"Like I was saying, you'll be shooting your first roll today. Grab some film on your way out and each group needs a pass. It's going to be four people per group. Do not interrupt other classes. You're only allowed to go out on the quad. You'll have about 40 minutes to shoot 24 pictures. Do not worry about content, this is just to familiarize yourself with your cameras and teach you how to develop. You're not trying to be Ansel Adams here okay? Alright, have fun. See you guys in 40 minutes."
Our group grabbed some film and the pass and we made our way to the part of the quad by the baseball field. There were some trees there, really probably the only decent spot on school grounds to take interesting pictures at. I was walking with Lena and Mark was being harassed by Julia. It was kind of funny because I could tell that he was really tired of her after about two minutes. It made me feel good remembering the grin on his face from when we were together. I frowned, I shouldn't be giving myself these false hopes. It's only going to hurt more when he realizes that he can be friends with anyone he wants and stops talking to me.
I lifted the camera and snapped a few shots of tree shadows. Lena walked off to talk to someone in the other group that was behind us. Mark called my name and as I looked at him he snapped a picture of me. Then he gave me a killer smile and just out of Julia's earshot whispered
"That one's going in my private collection," and walked away leaving me dumbfounded and blushing furiously.