Date: Tue, 17 Dec 2002 09:14:13 -0600 From: Michael Yost Subject: Real World Chapter 11 "God has her. Heaven has her," the ghost wailed, "I, I want her back." "Then go into the light," Christov said indifferently, "Listen bitch you're not going to take these children away unless you feel they'll make up for what you lost by losing her." "No," she said, her voice was cold, "I want her. Arabella can teach me how to love her. I do love her. She can teach me how to get her back. How to" Tears feel down her face, "How to get what I loved in life back. How to understand all of this better." Disappearing into soft glow of light she left the room in silence. "Josh, Pete," Christov said sheepishly. "It's all right Christov. The next time you see a ghost," Josh said. "I'll ignore said ghost," Christov assured them. "Your impending marriage made her furious," David said quietly, "When she heard about you two from her conversations with Christov she prayed you would break up." "Why pick in me!" Christov said, embarrassed, "I was hardly the type of person you'd think she would want to talk to!" "Your deep belief in spirits made it easier for her to talk you. Besides, I think a part of her wanted to understand what she feared the most in her mortal life. A gay man. She wanted to understand why her husband was the way he was. Pete, I'm sorry. The misguided so called goodness in her was powerful. Arabella will teach her how to be the loving mother she once was before she sunk into madness and used her Christianity as a monstrosity of fear and hate. Really she drowned her daughter out of fear of losing her to her husband's so-called sordid life style." "Hopefully she'll learn how to trust," Josh said sadly, "Arabella's father was a good man wasn't he?" "A very good man who never harmed his daughter and never would have," David said firmly, "All of her fears of her husband molesting Arabella were unfounded." "Speaking of a good man," Josh said putting his arm around Pete. Shakily pulling up Tabby's shirt, Pete removed the dead rat he stabbed into "I could never have hurt Tabby," Pete said his eyes wide. "What we said worked. Arabella and her mom will be at peace soon I hope," Josh said kissing his cheek. "Josh are you sure you want to be involved in our night walker's world? Look at what we have to offer. Murderous ghosts," Christov said, "Insane ancients. Meddling in-laws, Josh I'm sorry, This is so my stupid fault. I didn't know she was a malevolent ghost. I was a flattered ass hole by what I thought was attention from Marie Glapion." "We put the kids through so much because we are a family. It's isn't fair to them," Pete said choking on tears. "No problem," Josh said shakily "I'm in my real world. I'll take the bad with the good. The good is going to out last the bad. I know it will Pete. Not everyone out there is a whacked out bigot or religious fanatic." "It's going to be a happily ever after world," Pete promised kissing Josh back. Months later Henri recorded in his journal: Ah my dear journal, I know yours and mine is an illicit arrangement. Maharet, Michael, and Mekare would be furious with me if they saw me here writing in you. Someday I will perhaps will become a forgetful ancient. I know I will probably live for centuries after this night, and I want to be able to read how I felt on this date. So Merkare, Michael, and Maharet be damned! Today Josh and Pete were married. It was a beautiful ceremony. Christov and I gave Pete away. Louis and Daniel gave Josh away. Sadly, Lestat couldn't make the ceremony. Presently poor Lestat is in a coma at Saint Elizabeth's. Brent walked down the aisle holding Tabby's hand. Everyone wore white tuxes. Brent caught Tabby's bouquet and the Josh's garter belt. I hope Brent can find a nice man to settle down with. Fingers crossed. Tabby was adorable tossing fist fulls of rose petals. Ace was the ring bearer. He was such a proud, solemn, little man, The ceremony was held in the church's garden in the courtyard so the inside of the church would not be sullied. Through why the church would be sullied by true love I do not know. Because of the controversy of their marriage a sun walker marrying a night walker, we all agreed the guest list should be kept to immediate family and a few friends only. Louis is back with Daniel. Daniel was holding hands with Louis throughout the ceremony. Poor Louis. He tried to hide his concern and worry over his son's marriage, but he could not. I hope the guilt and the subtle madness in his personality will not destroy any chance Louis has for true and lasting love with someone. I'm afraid my good friend Louis will become cynical and heartless if he is not careful. Trisha, Josh's sister and ex-wife, she and her lover Jesus did not show up. Trisha missed a wonderful sight, her daughter in her white gown with her pink slash, and wide brimmed straw hat, and her son Ace in his three piece suit,. Not everyone was meant to be a parent I guess. Alex brought no one to the wedding. I do believe he didn't want to give any of his lady friends any ideas. Through the ceremony was touching. It was very ritualistic. The same words were used which couples have used for centuries to get married with. There was no novelty to any of the words. Pete and Josh read no poems, no sonnets to each other. I have to admit for the most part there wasn't a dry eye in the courtyard when they both said their, I do's. They were both so very handsome, Josh with his serious face. I swear his eyes were moist with happiness. And Pete with his hair tied back, his face so attentive while he listened to the priest's words. They both looked so devoted to each other. Father Jim waited for a moment to pronounce them as partners after they said their, 'I do's.' The look of shy happiness on their solemn faces had to be savored. The kiss Pete and Josh exchanged was very chaste to my surprise. More tender than passionate. As if they were overwhelmed by the ceremony and were comforting each other. After they left the courtyard, Josh embarrassed Pete by lifting a laughing and very thrilled Pete off his feet, and yelling, "Hooray! I'm a married man!' The kiss that followed this enthusiastic display was very passionate indeed. Even Christov was discretely enhanced by the moment. He muttered an occasional 'Mincemeats.' There was no real malicious or scorn in him. . I know he wishes them both well. And a certain part of his is very proud of Pete for sticking to his convictions to love a boy who everyone felt was impossible for him to love. I worry for the both of them. They both have their insecurities. They're both so young. Eighteen and nineteen is so young to get married, much less raise two children. Pete especially gets taunted by some night wake circles for the choice he made. And Josh, Josh can be so impetuous and impatient. He's almost as bad as his stepfather Lestat through of the two he's the much more stable personality. I attribute this to Louis' and Daniel's parenting. Neither one if them are perfect. That doesn't matter to them. It would be impossible for either one of them to love someone else. Nights before the ceremony, Pete asked me if the love between him and Josh justified the rejection and the harassment Tabby and Ace may have to face in school and in vampire society. I think it does. I know it does. Their love does justify their being a family. Things cannot change for the better until change begins. Not even Josh's great, great uncle Paul who with my help faked his own death to abandon his family, and live and die a mortal in Canada with his life long partner, Jamie, a mortal colored man, not even Paul who was a brave man, could have envisioned himself and Jamie raising children together. Such a thing would be unheard of in Paul's opinion. I pray Louis never finds out I helped Paul escape the south. I doubt if Louis would forgive me if he knew the death he grieved for never happened at Pointe de Lac. Paul and Jamie hid their relationship from their neighbors who all thought Paul and Jamie were nothing more but two conformed. gentle and kind bachelors living together. The love Josh and Pete have for their family will hopefully make it easier for children with gay parents to be accepted by society in the future. In our dark world it will make the unions of sun walker and night walker more acceptable. Change is often resisted by some, sometimes even violently resisted. But I believe in the goodness of mortals, yes, even the goodness in vampires. People will accept real love in all of its guises. Give them enough time and they will. Despite everyone's happiness there was the taint of sadness to the event which subdued our joy. Armand's suicide Poor Louis. The guilt Louis feels that he could not prevent the hurt Dora caused all of us is immeasurable. I guess Armand let himself be seduced by Dora's Christ, though why he would feel Christ would desire his death his beyond me. There always was such a sadness in Armand to want to belong to someone completely. I guess the monk in Armand drove Armand into the light, and the light, the horrible light of the sun was not kind, nor loving. The light ate away at his body, his face, as he stood there screaming, hoping that once the pain was over he would be finally loved, not by his cynical master, Marius, or Daniel who he rejected once too often, or any other cynical man who would only love him for his boyish beauty. He was hoping to be loved for who he was Armand with all his virtues and faults by his childhood God. The same God who would of had Armand bury himself up to his neck with dirt when he was a boy at the Monastery of Caves till he died a wretched, starving martyr Poor Armand no one taught him that God loved him enough to want him to live, no one ever gave Armand permission to be simply a happy child. Armand seemed fated to be locked in dark places . I feel Louis could have really fallen completely in love with Armand if not for the unfortunate circumstance of Claudia's death. None of that business was Armand's fault. According to the law he had to kill Claudia. Through Louis could have fallen in love with Armand with or without Clauda's death, I doubt if Armand's cold heart would have allowed their relationship to last long. Armand needed a miracle, alas a miracle did not occur soon enough to save his life. Let's hope the miracle he was looking for in death occurred for him, and Armand is in a better place. Loved at last. Louis will have to realize we often times choose what and who makes us unhappy. I fear for Louis' life also. I pray he doesn't harm himself. Lasting love is so rare anymore. Its so painful when love falls apart between two people I do believe people for all their obsession with romance, love stories, love songs and poetry, falling in love, and being in love, are actually terrified of love. The trick about love is it takes work, hard work, you have to make it work for love to last. You have to realize love isn't about white horses and princes. Love has flaws, bad tempers, mistakes, secrets, love doesn't always behave well. What keeps people in love is loving the adorable toad you married once you found out he isn't a twenty-four hour prince. And remember you're kind of a toad yourself. Long as no one gets hurt, a black eye, or emotionally hurt so badly they can't forgive anymore, then it can't work. Besides a person capable of hurting you with a black eye or by constantly cheating on you couldn't possibly love you. Cowards do such things and cowards can't love. They cannot love even themselves much less anyone else. It takes moral courage to love someone through richer, and poorer, sickness and health, and moral courage to leave someone who can't live up to their vows. As for Pete and Josh. Pete gentles down Josh's brash personality. Josh brings out Pete's mature side. It will be rough for them. Many will not accept their marriage. Pete and Josh are hard workers and they both have learned how to be brave. I have a feeling they are going to make their world work, and make our world a better place for it. The end.