Date: Fri, 10 Jan 2003 00:19:58 -0500 From: mchalejamie@emailaccount.com Subject: Reese and Me 25 - Slipping -Gaymale -Highschool Reese and Me 25 - Slipping January 9, 2003 Written by Jamie McHale Warning - This story contains sexual content of a homosexual nature. Note - This story is the property of the writer. Any copying in part or in whole of this document is prohibited. The story is completely fictional and does not involve any real people. Please EMAIL me with all your comments. briansbaby@heimidal.net OR mchalejamie@emailaccount.com ______________________________________________ Reese and Me 25 - Slipping One month later ... I lay on the cold, hard floor. My limbs were freezing; I was filled with a terrifying tingling sensation. The hair on the back of my head was bloodsoaked. I could feel the rip in my flesh encompassing my neck. I didn't want to see it, or touch it with my trembling hands. This can't be real, I thought, clinging desperately to life. I couldn't accept that I was about to die. I wasn't ready. My heart continued to pulsate, pumping blood throughout what was left of my body. I knew any attempt to live was futile, but I held out hope until the world slowly began to close in on me. The darkness of death was on a rapid approach, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Unconsciousness was dangerously close, and I knew this would be the last time I would be able to use my thoughts, or mind. I pictured Reese, and held the visual of him for as long as I possibly could. Then, I was blanketed in the horrible blackness of violent murder, and I slipped away. ******** I awoke with a start, tossing the sheets and covers to the floor. Breathing so heavily I felt as though my lungs were about to collapse, I desperately flung my body across the sweat-soaked bed to reach the lamp. I grabbed the switch and activated the light. Using too much force, I knocked the lamp to the floor where it broke. My heart was racing uncontrollably, and I needed to grasp reality. I stood up on quaking legs and raced to the light switch on the bedroom wall. The overhead lighting came on, and I immediately dropped to the floor. My boxers were nearly dripping sweat, and I still couldn't slow my breathing. I knew that I was bordering on a panic attack, but I soon realized that what I had been experiencing was another nightmare. They had been occurring more and more frequently as the weeks went on, and I couldn't locate the cause. Am I going to die? After a time, I had become more relaxed. Slowly, I lifted myself to a standing position and opened my bedroom door for the hallway. I decided to head downstairs and into the kitchen for a glass of water. Reaching the kitchen, I grabbed a glass and stepped up to the tap. As I filled my glass, I stared out the windows at Reese's house. After the intensity of my nightmare, and my level of subsequent panic, I couldn't wait to see him the next day at school. In that moment, I yearned for his presence, his touch. I sighed aloud, turning to head back up the stairs. I settled into bed, realizing that I was suddenly exhausted. I fell asleep, thinking about my boyfriend, Reese. ******** I had gone the entire day at school without once sighting Reese. After last class, I stood, waiting for him at our lockers. The rush of people leaving school had passed, and there was no more activity in the long corridor. I'd been nearly desperate to talk to him after the night before, and I was now becomming agitated. This never happened. I ALWAYS saw Reese at school, at least once. I sighed, deciding that I may have missed him, and he was now at home, perhaps wondering where I had been all day. Trying to shake my frustration, I headed out the back exit for the Jeep. On the way, I pulled from my inside jacket pocket, my cell phone. My fingers had been afflicted by a slight trembling, so I had some difficulty dialing his cell. After I'd succeeded, I placed the small phone next to my ear and awaited his response. Instead, to my utter dismay, I received a computerized message that his cell was off. What the fuck is going on?! I sighed again, dialing his home number. After two rings, Reese's mother answered. "Hello?" "Hi, is Reese there, please?" "No he's not," she replied, sounding annoyed. I made no issue of it, I knew she still didn't care much for me. "Well, do you know where he is? It's kinda important." I was trying my hardest not to appear desperate, but I don't think I was very effective. "No, I don't," she said, "I'll let him know you called." Then, she hung up. "I'm sure you will, bitch," I said aloud. I couldn't help it, I was upset. I didn't know whether he was avoiding me, or if this entire thing had simply been a coincidence. In the past weeks, Reese had been continuously distant. We'd been spending less time together, and I didn't know why. When he was around, we barely spoke. I was not happy with our situation, and that day at school, without even seeing him, had only made it worse. Shaking my head, I climbed into the Jeep. As I got ready to slip the key into the ignition, I chucked my phone onto the vacant passenger seat. Just as I did so, the phone erupted with a loud ring. My heart skipped a beat, and I struggled to get to my cell as quickly as possible. I got ahold of it before the second ring. My excitement level reached a high as I assumed it was Reese. Pressing 'send,' I put the cell to my ear. "Hello?" "Hey Jake." It was Chase. The exitement was immediately erased, to be replaced by confusion. Chase and I had not spoken since our phone conversation after our failed 'double-date.' I was glad to hear from him, however disappointed that it had not been Reese calling. "Hi, Chase," I said, regaining my composure. "How are you?" he asked, sounding as though he was attempting to be pleasant. "I'm okay, you?" "Not so good," he replied, allowing the sadness in his voice to escape through the phone. "Listen, Jake. Can we get together for a bit? I really need to talk to you, but I don't feel like doing it over the phone." I considered his request. Meeting up with Chase would mean that I would have to put my quest to locate my boyfriend on hold. He didn't sound good, and in a way, I was eager to see him again. I steadied my tone, "Yeah, sure. Where are you?" ******** I pulled up in front of Chase's large suburban home, to see him standing by the double garage doors. Almost immediately, he was on his way toward my vehicle. I had instantly taken notice of his pale complexion. Now, I was worried. "Hey," I offered as he jumped into the passenger seat. "Hey," he replied dryly, slamming his door. I wasn't going to beat around the bush. "What's wrong, Chase?" He paused, probably considering his words. I gave him a once-over while he pondered his answer. Chase looked great, as always. He was dressed nearly all in blue. His hair was messed with gel, and appeared fantastic. "Cory and I are fighting," he finally said, tossing his head back into the seat. "Join the club," I exclaimed, managing a slight smile. "No," Chase murmured, "This time it's bad." "What happened?" As Chase and I exchanged words, I pulled away from the curb and continued down the deserted street. "That's why we need to talk, Jake," Chase said grimly. With that, he had my full attention. "What? What's going on?" "I dunno if you're gonna think it's a big deal, but," Chase began, seemingly giving his explaination much thought. "Cory's been hanging around with Brian a bit." SO? I thought, almost laughing. "And?" I posed, wondering if there was more to the story. "Your Brian," Chase continued. "He's not my Brian anymore, Chase. Hasn't been for a long time." "I'm not finished though," Chase said, pausing once again. "Some people around school have been talking. I think he's dealing." "Brian?" I asked. "Yeah," answered Chase, turning in his seat to watch my reaction. "Wouldn't surprise me," I said, shaking my head. At the time of our separation, Brian had been quite involved with drugs. It had been one of the deciding factors in our break-up. "Well," Chase went on, "I heard some shit from Cory about Reese too." "What?" escaped my mouth. "What'd you hear?" "For one, Reese does it. Cory admitted to me that he does it ..." "Reese does what?! Drugs?!" I could feel my face tightening with anger at the very suggestion. "Apparently. Why else would they all be hanging out after school and shit?" "No," I said, turning to him, "Reese was hanging around with Brian? And Cory?" "They do," he replied, "I mean, this is second-hand information, but ..." "But what?!" I was worried. No, I was more than worried. This couldn't be true. "I saw Reese talking to Brian at school this morning." The image flashed before my eyes. Reese with a joint in his mouth. My rate of breathing had increased substantially. I had to pull the Jeep over to the side of the road. Nearly frantic, I turned to Chase again. "Are you for real?! Cuz as far as I know, Reese wasn't at school at all today. I didn't see him." "I know what I saw," was Chase's plain reply. "Thought you'd wanna know." I didn't know what else to say, so I began to consider the possibility that the information Chase had provided me with was true. Reese had been increasingly distant in the last weeks. Could it be due to drug-use? And, Brian! I couldn't fathem how Reese would have even begun talking to him, much less start using drugs with him. I had my insecurities about Reese spending time with other gay guys, but one of my exes! That was a whole other story. I took in a deep breath, "Are you sure?" Chase straightened in his seat, "Yes, Jake. I'm sure." He almost seemed disappointed that I was having a hard time believing him. I couldn't worry about his feelings though, not at that point. I was near panic. I NEEDED to talk to Reese, and fast. But, what would I say? "Listen, Chase," I croaked, "I need to find Reese and straighten this shit out. Can I drop you off?" "Yeah," Chase said, turning to look out the passenger-side window. I knew he was upset, but there was no time to console him. I had to get to my boyfriend. ******** After speeding home, I'd parked the Jeep in the driveway, immediately heading across the street for Reese's. I was nearly certain that he wouldn't be there, but I had to be sure. I reached the front door, and began to knock. I didn't wait for long - Reese's mother answered. "Hi," I said uneasily. Since she said nothing, I continued. "Have you seen Reese?" "No, I haven't," she said. I wondered if her annoyance had been generated by my presence, or the fact that Reese hadn't come home after school. Perhaps both. "Okay," I murmured, "Can you let him know I was here?" "Yes." With that, she slammed the large door in my face. I was left to stand there on the stoop, wondering what course of action was next to pursue. After my enlightening conversation with Chase, I knew Reese could be with Brian. However, I wasn't ready to see them together. I could drive by Brian's, I thought. And if he's there, I could confront him. No, I told myself. Finally, I shook my head, turning to make my way across the street and into my house. I NEEDED to talk to Reese, but I couldn't see a way to do so without causing myself a lot of stress and emotional hurt. In time, I would discover whether or not Chase's accusations were true. ******** It was nearly nine o'clock when my cell phone rang. I stood over the side-table upon which sat the phone. Considering how I would react should it be Reese, I took in a few deep breaths. After a few rings, I picked it up. "Hello?" "Jake." It was Chase. I held back my screams of anger and frustration. I had been disappointed once again. "Yeah?" "You talk to Reese yet?" he asked, still sounding upset. "No." "Listen, I'm sorry." "For what?!" I demanded. "For acting stupid before." "When?" "In your Jeep. I'm sorry, I was just pissed," he explained, seemingly near tears. I sighed aloud, realizing that I'd been acting with total disregard for Chase's feelings. Depite everything, I still had deep feelings for him. All at once, I decided that something had to be done for him. "Chase," I began, clearing my throat. "Why don't you come over here? I'm not doing anything." "What if Reese shows up?" he muttered. "I doubt he will." Things were definitely not looking good for me. I still had not been able to reach Reese, and I was becomming more concerned, and more angered with each passing minute. "Just come over." After I'd set the phone down, I made my way over to the computer. I sat down and immediately signed onto AOL Instant Messenger. I knew Reese wouldn't be online, but I figured it was worth a look. As the AIM window came up, my assumption was proven correct. Reese's screen-name, 'PS2boi' was showing as offline. Just as I was about to sign off, a new window popped up. It was Meg engaging me in an instant message conversation. I was pleasantly surprised. Megbaby says: Hey Jake85 says: hey u Megbaby says: Whats up? you going out tonight? Jake85 says: naw, hey ... have u seen reese at all today? Megbaby says: No, I havent Jake85 says: ah ... Megbaby says: Is there something wrong? Jake85 says: naw .... how u been? havent seen u in a while Megbaby says: Awesome, and you? Jake85 says: ive been better ... lol Megbaby says: hey ... you know if you ever needed to talk to someone, Im here for you, right? Jake85 says: definitely ... i know Megbaby says: good .... something happening between you and Reese? Jake85 says: listen, ill call u later or something, chase is here ... Megbaby says: Chase huh? oookay ... ttyl Jake85 says: later ... As the loud knocking at my door resounded through the house, I ran swiftly up the stairs and into the foyer. Not a second after I'd gotten the front door open, had Chase leapt into my arms. I was both taken aback, and pleased. My head over Chase's tall shoulders, I closed my eyes, squeezing him tight. This was my confirmation that he was indeed, quite upset. I searched for the proper thing to say, only to realize that there wasn't really anything I could say that would take away his pain. Instead, I held him there, in the foyer with the door wide open. For a second, I was worried that Reese would 'happen' to show up in that instant to find me there with him. However, I put him as far out of my mind as possible, deciding instead to concentrate on Chase. "What the fuck's going on with us?" Chase whimpered pathetically. "I don't understand how I feel." "What you mean?" I asked, finally pulling away to face him. As I had suspected, Chase was crying. His eyes were puffed out and red, his cheeks wet with fresh tears. "I love you, Jake," he admitted, turning away from me. "And not as a friend." My heart was now racing, once again. Old emotions were abound, and I feared that if I wasn't able to control myself, something was going to happen between Chase and I. I couldn't lie to him, however. "I love you too, Chase. You know that, but.." "But what?!" he blurted out, turning back to me. "You love him more?!" I sighed, rubbing my eyelids. I didn't need for this to turn into a Chase vs. Reese argument. "That's not it, Chase. I dunno, I can't really explain it." "Why not? When have I ever done bad shit to you?" he demanded between tears. He was now crying in full force, choking over his words. "I wanna be with you, no one else." "Chase," I began, attempting to reason with him. "You're really upset right now. I know what that feels like, trust me. I'm not gonna let you throw Cory away just because you're in a fight right now." "This has nothing to do with Cory!" he shouted, stepping toward me. "I've always loved you, I dunno why, but I've always loved you more than anyone or anything." I felt overwhelmed, even a bit smothered. At the same time however, I was touched. For the first time in a long while, I felt REALLY loved. I knew where my commitments were, but I knew deep down how much I loved Chase. For an instant, I considered just taking him right there. But, I got ahold of my emotions and stopped myself. I could NOT cheat on Reese again. It couldn't happen. No matter how badly he'd messed up. I took in a deep breath, "Come in, Chase. Come in and sit down for a bit." With that, I guided him downstairs and into the rec room. I made sure to sit across from him, rather than on the same sofa. I can't say I wasn't tempted to see what happened, but, again, I held back. "I'm sorry," Chase said, sniffling. I could see that he was beginning to settle. "I'm being stupid." "No," I replied, staring into his eyes. "Don't be sorry." I paused. I guess I was trying in some way to make sense of the entire situation. I loved Reese, and Reese loved me. I loved Chase, and Chase loved me. Chase loved Cory, and (I suppose,) Cory loved Chase. And then, there was Brian. I didn't even want to think about him. "This whole thing is just, really complicated." I couldn't help but laugh. "It's funny?" Chase asked with a serious tone. "No," I sighed, "I guess it isn't. Sorry." For a time, neither of us spoke. Then, Chase raised his head again to glare at me. "I'm just gonna go." "Why?" I asked, rather concerned. There was something about his tone that I didn't like. "Cuz I can't do this anymore," he said, rising to his feet to make his way out of the room. His demeanor had changed drastically. He no longer appeared sadenned or distraught. Now, he was angry. "Chase!" I shouted, following him toward the stairs. Hurriedly, I grabbed hold of his hips, attempting to stop him. I was rapidly becomming upset. "Don't leave!" "I have to." He squirmed out of my hold, continuing up the stairs. I wasn't ready to give up yet - I pursued him into the foyer to find that he'd already finished slipping on his shoes. "Chase," I uttered, sensing that tears were on the way, "Please, don't go." "I'm going," he announced, more enraged than ever. I couldn't believe that just a few minutes earlier, he'd been bawling. "I can't pretend that you ever wanted me. It's time to face reality." My brain couldn't process his words fast enough. By the time I was able to open my mouth, he was already on his way out the door. My resolve had vanished, and I collapsed to the granite floor. I didn't cry, but I soon found myself in an all-too-familiar panic state. "What the fuck?!" I screamed, thrashing my arms out in front of my body. ******** I was thankful for one thing - my parents weren't home while these tragic events played out. If not, I would surely have been crucified when Reese showed up at ten past twelve. He hadn't bothered to knock, choosing to simply stroll into the house, proceeding down into the basement. I was nearly asleep on the couch when my ears recorded the sound of him coming down the stairs. I felt both relieved that he was there, and SO PISSED OFF that he'd avoided me all day. Almost immediately, I was alert. I sat up, pondering what to say to him. "Hey, baby," Reese greeted, approaching the leather sofa. He was all prepped out, hair gelled and nice clothes. I decided to just confront him. At that point, I needed to release these emotions. "Where the fuck have you been?" "I went to a couple parties," he explained, taking a seat next to me. Instantly, I could smell the alcohol on his breath. "How come you didn't call? And, you weren't at school, were you?" "I was with some friends," he replied with an annoyed tone. "What are you, my mother?" he giggled. Desperately, I tried to calm myself. "No, I'm your boyfriend. Why is your cell off?" "Charging. What's up with the fuckin third degree?!" "Reese," I cried, "I haven't heard from you all fucking day." "Sorry, guess I forgot." Just then, he put his hand on my shoulder. Not really thinking, I pushed it away. "So you just come over here, at like fuckin midnight, and all you want is sex?!" "I never said that!" he protested, apparently getting frustrated. I didn't care. I'd spent the entire day frustrated, panicked, and hurt. Now, it was his turn. After a brief pause, I spoke, "So how's the club?" "What club?" "You know. You, Brian, and Cory," I explained, my tone quite accusatory. Reese was speechless. For a moment, I wondered just how I had fallen so deeply in love with him. Sure, he was gorgeous. He sported a cute personality, and was generally available when I really needed him. But beyond that, our relationship was a mess. Had it always been that way?! "Reese," I said, getting up from the sofa. "I heard some bad shit." Suddenly, Reese rose from his seat. Coming in behind me, he slipped his hands in around my waist to hold me. I almost fell for it. I heard him let out a loud sigh as I pulled away, however I was not detered. "I'm gonna ask you something. I don't care what the answer is, as long as you tell me the truth. I'll deal with whatever you say, in time. But, if you lie to me, I swear.. Well, I dunno what I'd do, okay?" At that point, I'd become upset. I knew how much depended on his answer. Reese never broke eye contact with me. "Okay." It was a simple response, but I could tell by his expression and demeanor that he was aware of the severity of the situation. "You been doing drugs with Brian?" Still staring into my eyes, Reese answered, "Yes." Then, he turned away, sinking back down into the sofa. I was relieved that he had told me the truth, but still very disappointed that he was using drugs. Even so, a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I felt better. I let out a deep breath, taking a seat next to him. "Kay. We'll talk about this, but another day." I was such a mess. I just wanted everything to stop. "Yeah, okay" he replied, his tone indicating a hint of regret. "I'm sorry, I should have called." "Shhhhhhhhh." I said, gesturing for him to lay down. "Another time." I got up and grabbed a blanket, quickly returning to him. I layed down, wrapping my arms around him. We cuddled together, his head across my chest. At that point, I needed to stop being upset. And the only way I knew to do it was to sleep. I was still deeply concerned and disappointed, but I decided to momentarily forget about my problems and relax. It felt tremendous to have Reese there as well. I didn't know how I would feel in the morning, but I resolved to cross that bridge when I came to it. _______________________________________________ Please EMAIL me with all of your comments. briansbaby@heimidal.net OR mchalejamie@emailaccount.com