Date: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 12:00:31 -0400 From: Chris Johns Subject: Regret Pt.1 This story details the trauma experienced by a family where homosexuality rears its head and the mother is a `Hell Fire and Brimstone Baptist'. Of course there is some sex in it, but not until part 3, so if you just want raunchy, go explore some of my other stories in Prolific Net Authors. I have an index of all my posted stories detailing content, if you let me know I will send it to you so that you don't have to read stories you don't like. All of nifty's rules apply with regard to legality and copyright Regret Chapter 1 -- A Tragic Affair Jamie's date was an unmitigated disaster. Marian was an attractive fun loving girl that Jamie had known forever. At sixteen this was his first proper date. They did all the normal first date things, a fast food meal and then a drive in movie. Jamie was excited at this new aspect to his life, but that feeling of euphoria quickly died when Marian started to come on to him. With a shock like a bolt of lightning he realised this was so far away from what he wanted it left him almost helpless with the knowledge. Marian couldn't understand Jamie's almost maniacal drive home, only half way through the movie, a rapid goodnight pleading he felt sick and then driving off like he was pursued by screaming banshees. A rapid goodnight to his parents as he almost flew upstairs to his bedroom, throwing himself on his bed and shaking like a leaf as he realised what his thoughts were telling him. `I don't want a Marian to kiss and cuddle, I want a boy, one of my own, someone like Davey that I realize I have loved for years.' When his parents came to his bedroom to see why he was home so early he was in tears and almost screamed at them. "Leave me alone, go away, I don't want to talk to you." They left, shocked and upset. Jamie's Dad comforted his wife and told her they would sort it out in the morning. Jamie wanted to die, he had heard his mother talking about gays and wishing them all dead. `They deserve hell fire and damnation for their un-natural acts,' his Mum had said so many times and it had all passed over his head until tonight. Now, he broke down and sobbed his heart out. The next morning looking almost hunted he appeared for breakfast, mumbled a good morning and ate his breakfast as fast as he could before scooting back to his bedroom to get his back pack and disappear to school. Both parents shrugged, looked at each other and just said the one word, "Boys". For Jamie the day was a nightmare. He avoided Marian and wouldn't look directly at Davey. Marian and Davey met at lunchtime to compare notes. They couldn't remember the last time Jamie hadn't had lunch with them. "What happened on your date last night Marian, I've never known Jamie to be like this?" "Me neither, we had just started to kiss and he pulled away from me, went white as a sheet and drove me home like a maniac. This morning he wouldn't look at me and hasn't said a word." "Well I'm one better than that, at least he has talked to me he just won't look at me. This is freaky I've never known him not discuss a problem with me, we are closer than brothers." No change during the afternoon and Jamie disappeared so quickly after last lesson Davey didn't have a chance to talk. He followed Jamie home but when he knocked on the door Jamie wouldn't answer. He sat outside the house until his Mum came home and then was refused entry to Jamie's bedroom. "I don't know what's wrong Mrs. Archer, I've known Jamie forever and never seen him like this." Jamie's Mum patted Davey on the back and said, "Don't worry, we'll sort it when his Father comes home." No they didn't. Jamie didn't go to supper and wouldn't unlock his door to let his parents in. "I don't want to talk to you. You'll only hate me. I don't want you to throw me out on the street, please just leave me alone." Jamie's younger brother and sister looked frightened. Jamie had always been there for them, he was the big brother everyone wanted. For them this was a crisis. The next morning Jamie didn't even appear for breakfast and when Dad went to see what was wrong he could hear his son sobbing his heart out. "Jamie, it's Dad. Open the door please." Nothing. "Open the door please Son, we can sort this out." "Go away, leave me alone." "We need to talk Son, let me in." "No, go away, I don't want you to hate me, leave me alone." Now Alan was seriously confused. He couldn't even begin to imagine anything that would make him hate this boy that he had watched with pride as he grew into a man. He prided himself in being a caring and loving father. He and Jamie had always been able to talk, he was the same with his younger son. They were a happy family weren't they? This made no sense. Alan steeled himself for the worst and said, very forcibly. "Open the door Jamie or I'll break it down." Jamie almost screamed at him, "Leave me alone." Alan went back to the kitchen to tell his wife what he was going to do. "I'm going to `phone in and take a half day Pat. As soon as you and the kids have left for work I'm going to break into Jamie's room and find out what's wrong." Pat looked as worried now as did the two other children. The moment his wife's car pulled out of the drive Alan went back to his son's room. "Jamie the house is empty now, just you and me, open the door, let's sort this out." No response except perhaps an increase in the volume of the sobs. Alan leant against the wall opposite Jamie's room and kicked out at the door, landing his foot at the same level as the lock. He burst into the room to the loud splintering of wood. Jamie looked in amazement and then scooted back as far as he could on his bed curling up in a ball and screaming for his father to leave. Alan pulled the boy into his arms only to have him fight to get free. "Don't touch me, I'm evil, I'm going to hell, don't touch me." Alan was stupefied, he couldn't believe this was the son he was so proud of, the good scholar, active sportsman, happy go lucky boy who counted everyone as his friend. What on earth had he done to make him like this? He tried again, pulling Jamie into his arms, only this time he was ready for the fight and wouldn't let go until Jamie gave up struggling and just sobbed into his father's chest. Alan stroked the boy's hair and gently extolled his feelings on the subject. "I doubt you are evil and I'm sure you aren't going to hell so why don't we sort this out together. I love you Son, we can work this out together, just tell me what you think you have done wrong." Through his sobs Jamie reaffirmed his previous comment. "I can't, I don't want you to hate me. I'm evil, I'm going to hell, please just let me die." This took nearly five minutes to say Jamie was sobbing so hard. "You can't have done anything to make me hate you Jamie, now tell me what you've done that is so awful." "I haven't done anything, I haven't done anything but I'm evil." Every tack Alan tried came up with repetition, 'I haven't done anything'. "If you haven't done anything Jamie how can you be evil." Final comment from Jamie, "I just am." Jamie never said another word he just sobbed until his Dad gave up, tucked him back into bed repeatedly telling him how much he was loved before leaving to call the family doctor. Dr. Jim Gregory had delivered Jamie when his mother had been unable to get to the hospital. He had carried out medicals on Jamie for the school and for his father's insurances, so to Jamie he was almost a member of the family, like his grandfather. He called before lunch after his morning surgery had finished. Briefed by Alan he went into Jamie's room, noted the shattered door frame and closed the door as best he could. Jamie of course was still sobbing but more gently now. "Right young man what's all this nonsense. You haven't done anything but your evil. Would you like to explain that to this old man who has known you since birth and knows you are one of the most decent young men in this town." "I'm not Dr. Jim I have evil thoughts, please give me something to make me die. I don't want my Mum and Dad to hate me." "I don't think that is even a remote possibility Jamie, they love all of their children and I'm sure they always will." "They won't, they'll hate me. Mum said they are evil and should all be put to death and I'm one of them." Nothing Jim Gregory could say would make Jamie speak again, he just resumed his heartbreaking sobs. Jim gave him a sedative injection and left him to go and talk to Alan. "Alan, the boy is convinced you'll hate him if he tells you what's wrong because he says Pat thinks all of his kind are evil and should be killed. All we need to do is find out what it is that Pat thinks is evil and should be exterminated." Alan was baffled at first. He rang his office and told them he needed the other half day as well because his eldest son needed his attention but he could do a lot of the work at home if they emailed it to him. He did some work but his brain was on the information Jim Gregory had passed to him. About 3 o clock it came to him. Pat said all gay people were evil and would burn in hell. Alan was ambivalent about the subject of homosexuals. He didn't know any and being a live and let live kind of guy his philosophy on that subject was that as long as they didn't interfere with him and his family they could get on with their lives the same as he did. He just tended to grunt when Pat got onto the subject which appeared to be her pet hate. His thoughts usually blamed the fire and brimstone preaching of the local priest who Alan didn't like and whose church he wouldn't attend. When his wife came home with the two youngest he warned them to stay away from Jamie's room for now and be quiet because he was sleeping. Then Alan sat Pat down and told her. "I'm not certain but I think Jamie's breakdown is because he has discovered he is gay and believes we will hate him because he is evil." Pat just looked determined and replied. "Of course he's not gay, that is ridiculous and if he was we could send him somewhere to have it changed." That made Alan cross, he knew enough about the subject to know that it wasn't a life style choice, it was how you were born. "No Pat, your comment is ridiculous. Do you think he chose to be gay. If that is what is wrong it's because he was born that way and something has made him realise it. I'm going to talk to Davey and Marian to see if they can throw any light on the subject without telling them why." Alan talked to both of them by telephone when they were home from school. He heard Marian's tale of woe over their first proper date and from Davey he heard how Jamie wouldn't look at him. All of the pieces dropped into place then. Jamie had realised he was gay when Marian kissed him and he wouldn't look at his best friend because he now realised he fancied him, hell they were closer than brother's it wasn't surprising. He didn't say anything to Pat, he just went straight to Jamie's room. "Jamie are you awake?" Jamie poked his head over the covers and looked at his father with fear in his eyes. Alan went to the bed and pulled the son that he loved into his arms stroking his hair before talking. "I think I know what's wrong and I don't believe you are evil. I'm sure God doesn't either. It's only that idiot at your Mother's church preaching fire and brimstone that has got her all worked up. We'll sort it Son, I promise." Jamie looked into his father's eyes for confirmation before crying his eyes out again. "I don't want to be gay Daddy but I do so love Davey and just like Marian." Alan nodded, gave himself a pat on the back for working it out correctly. "I know Son, we'll work it out though. Now why don't you clean yourself up and come downstairs." Jamie nodded and Alan gave him a soft but poignant kiss on the lips before rejoining the rest of the family. "I was right Pat, now we aren't going to discuss this until these two little ones are in bed. You will treat Jamie the same as you always do." Pat started to protest but Alan stopped her. "I mean it Pat, that boy has a mountain to climb to get through this, you are not going to make it more difficult for him." Nathan and Chrissie looked at one another. At twelve and ten they were old enough to know that their big brother was in crisis. "We want to help Dad. Is Jamie going to be alright?" "Yes Nat, provided we stick together as a family and support him. We will tell you what you need to do as we unravel the problem but for now just treat Jamie like you always do." When Jamie walked in it was patently clear to everyone that this was not the Jamie they knew. He looked smaller, as if he had been shrunk. He wouldn't look at anyone and despite showering his eyes were all puffy and watery. Chrissie ran to him and hugged him, at ten she only knew that Jamie didn't look right and she loved him. Nathan walked to the brother he hero worshipped and put an arm round his shoulder. "Mum and Dad won't tell us what's wrong Jamie but I love you bro, and always will." Too much for Jamie, he turned and fled back to his room shouting back at his brother and sister, "You won't when you know." The sobbing was loud and heartrending making Nat and Chrissie afraid. "What is it Dad, what's Jamie done?" "Not now Nathan, just let your Mother and I sort it out first. I'll take his supper up to him Pat, he must be hungry he hasn't eaten today." Pat said nothing, what she was thinking though was that she would get her preacher to come and exorcise this devil that lived in her son's brain. Good for Pat, the preacher praised her and went up to Jamie's room. The preacher left at the same time as the paramedics left with the gurney on which Jamie lay having blacked out completely from the preacher's tirade against the evil of homosexuality. Hail to the munificence of the southern Baptist. Alan was normally a mild mannered man but as he was leaving for the hospital he shouted at Pat. "If that man ever steps foot in this house again I'll kill him." Pat was shocked but still believed her husband was wrong and she could find some way to cure Jamie of his illness. Jamie was still unconscious when Alan got to his bedside. He remained with him all night and was relieved when Jamie woke up at his normal time and appeared quite normal. "God morning sunshine, how do you feel?" "Hi Dad, I guess I'm fine. The preacher sorted me out, I know what I have to do now to rid myself of this evil. Can we go home I need to get ready for school." Alan was dumbfounded, he thought the preacher had been rotten and caused Jamie this problem, but apparently he had solved it. The Doctor discharged Jamie in time for him to go home with his Dad and get ready for school. The whole family were delighted that Jamie appeared normal. As she was leaving for work, taking Nat and Chrissie with her to drop at school she said to her husband. "I told you my preacher would be good for our son." Alan wasn't convinced but went to get his briefcase and keys to head off to work himself. "Are you definitely ok Jamie, I can run you to school if you like?" "No I'm fine Dad, I'm sorted." "Well done Son, you know I love you, whatever path you choose through life I'll be here for you." "Thanks Dad, I love you too." Alan was not comfortable with his thoughts as he went through his morning's work and at lunch time rang the school to make sure Jamie was ok." "I'm sorry Mr. Farr, Jamie hasn't registered this morning." That information lit alarm bells in Alan's brain and he headed for the car park in quick time. He drove up to the garage doors, using his door opener he watched the door rise and then he saw it. His scream of "Noooooooo," was heard a block away. He was out of his car and at the side of his son in moments. He supported him screaming `No' until a neighbour came in and using a sharp implement cut the rope suspending Jamie from the garage roof. The medical examiner estimated time of death at approximately 0900. Alan new before even reading the letter that was waiting, propped up against Jamie's computer, who was responsible. However, he opened the envelope and read. Dear Dad, The Preacher told me that I would rot in hell if I didn't give up the abomination of homosexuality. He told me that if I died before I committed a sinful sexual act I could still make it to the Kingdom of Heaven. I know that one day the temptation will be too great so I am going to end it now. The preacher assured me that any way I chose to die would be acceptable to God if I had not had carnal knowledge of another man. I know you love me and would have stood by me if I had chosen to live but I would never have been happy again knowing what waited for me so better I go now and save my soul. I will miss you all but I am convinced now that this is the right thing to do. The preacher told me I would be blessed. Your loving son Jamie. Quite calmly he laid the letter down, got back into his car and drove to the church. He was pulled off the preacher while the preacher was still alive, but only just. The two men passing the church had heard Alan screaming. "You killed my son now I'm going to send you to hell you evil bastard." Each word was punctuated with heavy blows to the preacher's head. He was pulled off fighting like a maniac and eventually taken into police custody. Pat had arrived home and found the letter just as the `phone rang to tell her that her husband was in custody being charged with attempted murder. She called the family attorney and read the letter to him before telling him Alan was in custody. Bail was set at the night court at a very low level. The preacher would survive and Alan was not considered a further risk. He spent most of the night sat with his only remaining son trying to comfort him while his wife did the same with Chrissie. Alan was lucky, the jury was on his side from the moment the story unravelled. The letter from Jamie sealed it, the doubters were won over and there wasn't a dry eye in the court room. The judge gave him a two year jail sentence, suspended for two years. He castigated the preacher who he said wasn't a fit person to preach the word of the Lord. He was a bigoted and bitter old man and may the Lord forgive him because he doubted anyone in this world would. =========================================================================== A shock for Pat in part 2