Date: Sun, 3 Mar 2013 16:18:50 -0500
From: Andrew Todd <atodd867@gmail.com>
Subject: Riding Lesson-Jesse

Jesse: A `Riding Lessons' Interlude

By

Andrew Todd


Jesse Osterman's earliest memories were of horses. His mother, Elizabeth,
was a trainer in Wellington, Florida.

Jesse was almost born in a barn, but Elizabeth made it to the hospital just
in time.

Much gossip was floated around the inner circles of Wellington society when
an unmarried, seemingly unattached Elizabeth Osterman became
pregnant. There were those who thought that maybe Elizabeth didn't know who
the father of her child was or that she had sought the services of a sperm
bank or that Jesse was the result of a drunken one-night stand.

The truth was Elizabeth knew exactly who Jesse's father was--a married
Grand Prix rider that she had had a long-term relationship with. The man in
question refused to divorce his wife, whose wealth funded his lifestyle, so
when she realized she was expecting, Elizabeth ended the relationship and
had the man sign legal documents terminating all parental rights. Elizabeth
was nearly forty at the time and as she had never found the `right' man for
marriage, she knew this might be her last chance at motherhood.

While the gossips had a grand old time with Elizabeth's situation, once
Jesse arrived he became a regular sight at the many farms that Elizabeth
trained at. She preferred to move around and offered her services to riders
and other trainers who had too many horses in their stables to properly
supervise.

Jesse literally was riding before he could walk. Before he could crawl, the
young girls at the various barns would take him for rides on their horses,
showering the baby boy with affection.

By the time he was five, those same young ladies were entering him in
lead-line shows and teaching him how to ride.

As he grew older, Jesse started to help his mother as a rider when she was
working with various horses.

He would often substitute for the kids who showed, when they were ill or
who were unable to attend. Jesse never lost an event. Since he had no horse
of his own, he was used to riding whatever horse was available; this helped
him to hone his riding skills.

By the time he was 10, Jesse was the go-to guy for his mom if she was
having a particularly hard time with a horse. If the rider she was training
would insist the horse was difficult or unresponsive, she would put Jesse
on the horse. Jesse seemed to have a way with even the most difficult
horses. He was a calm and intuitive rider who always seemed to be able to
anticipate the horse's needs and feelings and respond accordingly.

Until he started school Jesse's life was idyllic. He loved hanging around
the barns and the horses. The older kids who rode--both the boys and the
girls--saw him as a mascot and sometimes a good-luck charm and doted on him
endlessly.

When Jesse started school at the age of six things started to
change. Wellington was a rather influential area and Jesse's mom was not
rich by any stretch of the imagination. Though she was relatively
successful, her nomadic style and refusal to work for just one barn or
start her own prevented her from making as much as other trainers.

Most of Jesse's classmates were from families that were fairly
affluent. Since he had spent his younger years in the company of older kids
who accepted him, Jesse was not prepared for the cruelty that his peers
would exhibit.

Jesse was snubbed for his clothes, his less-than-affluent background, and
his lack of a father.

Jesse had never given much thought to his missing father. Once, when he was
about five, he had asked his mom about his father. She explained that she
had wanted him so much that she had decided to be mommy and daddy to
him. He loved his mother and never again questioned the whereabouts of his
father.

When he first started school, the bullying was limited to the clothing he
wore and the fact that he was obviously not from wealth. He was smaller
than most of the kids in his class so he made an easy target. He had very
delicate features. He had strawberry-blond hair that would bleach out
almost white in the bright Florida summers. His eyes were a vibrant
green. He spent so much time in the sun that his skin was always tanned. He
was stronger than he looked physically, having spent so much time riding
horses and working in the barns. Had he realized his physical abilities, he
might have been able to fend off his bullies in school, but outside of his
element--the barns, he was shy and quiet and could not bring himself to
fight back.

The abuse he took in school intensified when the other kids realized that
Jesse was the boy that they had heard their mother's gossiping about for
years. He was the boy with no daddy, the boy whose mommy didn't know who
his daddy was, and the boy who was a `bastard'. At their age most kids
didn't understand what any of that meant; only that Jesse was different,
and different in school is never a good thing.

In his elementary school years, Jesse did manage to make a few
friends--mainly the other children of the men and women who worked in the
barns and farms around Wellington. Most of them were minorities and were
treated even worse than Jesse. They would eventually realize that the way
to `popularity' was to join in the tormenting of the easiest target--Jesse.

Then, midway through fourth grade, Jesse met the boy who would become his
best friend. Jesse sat in the back corner of Mrs. Gulliver's class trying
to be as inconspicuous as possible. The door to the classroom opened and in
walked a tall Hispanic boy. He was more than a head taller than Jesse. He
had dark skin, short jet-black hair and chocolate-brown eyes.

The boy walked over to Mrs. Gulliver and spoke to her quietly and handed
her some papers.

Mrs. Gulliver turned to the class. "Class, we have a new student; this is
Sebastian Olivera." She put her hand on Sebastian's shoulder as she
introduced him to the class. She scanned the room and spotted the only
empty desk. "Sebastian, why don't you take the desk next to Jesse?" she
said as she pointed to the empty desk.

Jesse tried not to make eye contact with Sebastian. He bowed his head over
his paper and went back to finishing his math problems.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and froze.

"Hey," he heard a soft voice say. "Hey, my name's Seb. You're Jesse,
right?"

Jesse looked in the direction of the voice and nodded. He was not used to
anyone speaking to him unless it was to heap abuse on him.

Seb smiled at him and Jesse found his voice. "Yes," he croaked out. "I'm
Jesse, Jesse Osterman."

"Do you live around here?" Sebastian asked.

Something about Sebastian's quiet voice and his smile melted Jesse's hard
built defenses. "I live over on Wilcox with my mom."

"Is that anywhere near Maitland?"

Jesse nodded and grinned shyly. "About two blocks. Maitland's not that long
a street, so it's not too far from me."

"Cool," Seb nodded. "Do you walk?"

"Yep. Well, sometimes my mom comes and picks me up, but usually she's
working so I just walk home or I walk to whatever barn she's working at if
it's close enough."

"What does your mom do?"

"She's a trainer at some of the barns around here."

"What about your dad?"

Jesse's heart sank; he hated this question and trying to explain about his
lack of a father. "I don't have a dad," he said quietly.

"Ya, he scared him away," cackled Jeremy Anderson, a fat boy who sat in
front of Seb; he was one of Jesse's lead tormentors.

Tears started to form in Jesse's eyes as Seb looked from him to the boy who
had spoken. Seb leaned forward and whispered in Jeremy's ear. "You need to
shut up or I'll shut you up. Understand?" The venom in his tone was obvious
and Jeremy for all his false bravado thought he would wet his pants.

Jeremy nodded and turned his attention to the front of the classroom.

Seb turned back to Jesse and smiled at him. "Lunch?" he mouthed.

Jesse smiled back and nodded.

Jesse and Seb spent the rest of the morning whispering back and
forth. Jesse was happy to finally have a friend, but his previous
experiences made him guarded.

At lunch time, Jesse and Seb found a quiet table away from most of the kids
and spent more time quizzing each other.

"So, your mom's a trainer?" Seb asked.

Jesse nodded since his mouth was full of peanut butter and jelly. He
swallowed. "Yes, she works at a bunch of different barns. What do your
parents do?"

"My dad just started as General Manager at the Regency Hotel and my mom is
a nurse."

"That's different."

"What do you mean?"

"Most of the kids around here, their parents have something to do with
horses."

Seb grinned. "Not me. I've never been near one."

"Really?"

"Yup. Never even been on a pony ride. You have, though."

Jesse nodded and smiled. "I've been riding forever."

"Do you have your own horse?"

"No, we really can't afford it," Jesse replied sadly. "Since I was always
at the barns with my mom, a lot of the bigger kids would let me ride their
horses. Now, I compete some if someone can't make it or is sick."

"Like a substitute?"

Jesse laughed. "Yeah, I guess so. I'm always at the shows with my mom and
somehow I always managed to get grabbed to ride."

"Sounds like fun."

"It's the best. I love just going as fast as I can and jumping...It's like
flying."

"I'll have to come watch you sometime."  "That would be cool. There are a
couple of barns where the owners let me exercise some of the horses if my
mom is there--maybe we can meet her at one and I can take you on a ride."

"Uh, I don't think so."

"Why?"

"Those suckers are big," Seb answered, his eyes wide.

Jesse chuckled, "I'm the smallest kid in our class and I do it; you're a
lot bigger than me and you already told Jeremy where to shove it.  You're
not gonna let a little ol' horse make you nervous, are you?"

"If it was little, it wouldn't make me nervous."

"You'll be fine. Most of the show horses do run a little hot. But, I'll see
if Mom's going to Sunrise--there's a couple there you'll like."

"Hot?"

"Most of the show horses are warm-blooded and they can be a little wild
sometimes, but for the most part they're cool.  But the Arabians and
thoroughbreds are hot-blooded and they tend to be more difficult. But
Mr. Timms at Sunrise has a couple of Selle Francais that I've been riding
for about six months and they are so mellow, you'll love `em."

Seb grinned at his new friend. "You know I didn't get half of what you
said."

"Don't worry; if you hang around with me you'll learn."

Seb grinned and nodded. "Ok, I'll trust you, then."

"Great. I'll check with Mom, but she usually goes to Sunrise on
Thursdays. I'll make sure. It's not a far walk from here."

"Ok."

Jesse was beside himself; he had never had anyone his age to ride
with. When he rode at the different farms he either rode by himself or with
the high school and college kids. He competed against kids his age, but
most of them he only knew from the shows and he never socialized with them.

After school, the boys started walking home. Since they lived so close to
one another, Seb asked Jesse if he'd like to come and see his house. Jesse
agreed since his mother would not be home until after six.

As the two were talking they were not paying any attention to the path in
front of them. Jesse looked up and started to sweat as he saw Jeremy and
two of his cronies, Angus and Bruce, blocking the sidewalk.

Seb looked up when Jesse suddenly stopped talking. He saw the three boys
and he looked over to Jesse.

"Hey, Jess, don't let them get to you," Seb whispered. "They're just
bullies. If you ignore them then they don't have any power over you."

"Their power is the fact that they can and do kick my ass," Jesse replied.

Seb's eyes narrowed. "They can try," he said.

The two boys kept walking until the three other boys were blocking their
way.

Jesse was frozen to the spot. Seb looked at the three. "Something you want,
guys?"

Jeremy sneered at Seb, "You think you're a tough guy?"

Seb grinned. "No. I just don't like when people pick on my friends."

"The shrimp doesn't have any friends."

"His name is Jesse. And yes, he does have a friend. He has me. Now get out
of our way," Seb ordered as he started walking forward.

Jesse stayed glued to the spot. He was trying to will Seb to stop, but his
new friend kept going.

Angus and Bruce stepped forward and tried to block Seb's way. Seb just
pushed his way past them. Bruce grabbed hold of Seb's arm.

Seb swung around and grabbed Bruce's wrist. "I wouldn't do that if I was
you," he said quietly, the menace in his voice apparent.

Bruce, being a flunky, did not listen well and tried to grab Seb with his
free hand. Seb twisted around and sent Bruce flying onto a nearby
lawn. Angus seeing his friend go down, charged at Seb. Seb sidestepped
Angus and planted his foot on the boy's butt as he passed adding to his
speed and sending him crashing into Bruce who had been trying to get back
to his feet. The two boys fell to the ground tangled together.

Seb turned to Jesse and saw that Jeremy had grabbed Jesse and was twisting
his arm behind his back. Jesse grimaced in pain.

Seb saw black. "Let him go," he ordered in an icy voice.

Jeremy was panicked, but still had to show his bravado. "No, back off."

Seb walked towards the boys at a slow and steady pace. "That's not gonna
happen, Jeremy." He caught Jesse's fear-filled eyes and looked
down. Jesse's eyes followed his and he lifted his foot a little higher than
needed. Jeremy shook his head when he realized what Seb was asking. Seb
looked Jesse in the eye and nodded slightly. Jesse nodded back, resigned to
the fact that he was going to die.

Seb stopped about an arm's length from Jeremy and Jesse. He looked at Jesse
as he spoke to Jeremy. "Jeremy, I don't wanna hurt you, but if you hurt
Jesse, I'm gonna mess you up. So...just...let...him...GO!!" On the last
word Seb nodded to Jesse and the smaller boy lifted his foot and brought it
down on Jeremy's as hard as he could.

"Aaargh," Jeremy yelled in pain. He let go of Jesse for just a moment and
Jesse ducked down and Seb's fist shot forward and connected with Jeremy's
nose sending him reeling backwards. Between the pain in his foot and the
blood spurting from his nose, Jeremy was enraged. He regained his balance
and charged towards Seb. Seb jumped up and shot his leg out catching Jeremy
right in the chest and sending him sprawling onto his two buddies.

The three bullies lay on the lawn in a daze. Seb walked over and leaned
over Jeremy and whispered in his ear, "Listen up. Jesse is off limits. If
anyone so much as breathes on him, you pay. I don't care if it's one of
your friends or not, so spread the word. Hands off!!"

Seb walked back to Jesse and the two continued their walk to Seb's house.

Jesse didn't say anything for a few blocks. Finally, Seb looked over at
him.

"Jesse, are you ok?" Seb asked gently.

Jesse stopped walking and turned to Seb. His emerald eyes were glistening
with tears.

"Thank you," he whispered. "No one's ever stood up for me before."

Seb wrapped his arm around Jesse's shoulder. "Jesse, you're a good guy and
I hate bullies. So, from now on, no one better mess with you. If they do
you better let me know."

"But I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Don't worry about that. I only use martial arts for self-defense, but I
can usually goad one of those suckers into making the first move," Seb
laughed.

Jesse laughed. A warm feeling of relief washed over him as if suddenly his
life was going to be different.

"Here we are," Seb said as he stopped in front of a large two-story house.

Jesse's eyes bugged out. "You live here?" he asked. "This place is huge."

"Not really. Our house in Miami was bigger, but my older brother and sister
have gone to college and really aren't here except for holidays, so my dad
decided to get a smaller house when we moved."

"You have a brother and a sister?"

"Yep; my sister is twenty-one and my brother is nineteen."

"Wait, how old are you?"

"Well, I'm actually eleven. They kept me back a year between kindergarten
and first grade cuz the teachers didn't think I was `mature' enough to
advance." Seb made air quotes when he said `mature'. "That's why my dad
sent me to martial-arts class. To, as he would say, teach me discipline. It
had been my mom, dad and sister and brother for so long and then I was a
surprise. Basically, they all treated me like I was glass for so long; by
the time they sent me to school I couldn't cope."

"And now you can really cope," Jesse laughed.

"Yep. Those classes gave me confidence and, like I said, I hate bullies. I
don't understand why some people can only be happy being mean to other
people."

Jesse nodded; since he was usually on the receiving end of the misery, he
agreed with Seb.

The house and yard was surrounded by a big fence. Seb walked over to the
gate and started to go through. He ushered Jesse through and made sure the
gate was locked. They started up the walk to the house when Seb stopped in
front of the door.

"Hey, can you wait out here for a second? I just wanna make sure everything
is ok inside, since I wasn't planning to bring anyone home."

"Sure," Jesse said. He went over to a wooden bench that was on the edge of
the walk and sat to wait for Seb.

Seb went into the house.

Jesse sat admiring the garden that someone had taken a lot of time with
along the walkway and around the house. He turned when he heard some
rustling and saw a huge black-and-tan dog come running from around the side
of the house.

The dog ran right up to Jesse and put its front feet up on the bench beside
him. Jesse reached over and tentatively scratched the dog's ears. The dog
panted, its tongue lolling out of its mouth. The dog turned its head and
started licking Jesse's face. Jesse started laughing as the dog's tongue
bathed his face tickling him in the process.

He heard the door open.

"Kaya!!" he heard Seb yell from the doorway. "There you are."

The dog jumped down and ran over to Seb. Seb bent down and started rubbing
and petting the dog all over her back and stomach.

He looked over to Jesse. "She didn't hurt you did she?" he asked anxiously.

"Hurt me?" Jesse laughed. "No, she might have drowned me with that tongue,
but she's a sweetheart."

Seb looked at him like he was nuts. "Are you serious?" he asked. "She
didn't bark or growl or bare her teeth at you?"

"No, she came up and hopped up on the bench; I patted her and she started
licking me."

"Wow. That's a first."

"What do you mean?"

"She hates everyone."

"Well, she doesn't hate you."

"Well, no, but she's my dog, I've had her since she was a puppy, but I'm
the only one she likes. She tolerates my parents cuz occasionally they feed
her, but she hates my brother with a passion and I usually have to make
sure she's locked in the den or my parents' room when friends come over."

"Why?"

"Well, the last time I had friends over and she was loose she almost took a
bite out of one of them."

"Really?"

"She's very protective of me and a friend of mine and I were wrestling,
just playing really, and she thought he was hurting me and I almost wasn't
able to stop her. After that my dad said no friends over unless I make sure
she's locked up."

"I can't believe that we're talking about the same dog. She's a Rottweiler,
right?"

"Yup."

"Well, she was sweet enough to me," Jesse said as he stood up from the
bench and got down on one knee. "Kaya..." he called. "C'mere, girl."

Kaya looked at Jesse and trotted over to him and rested her head on his
knee as he rubbed her head and ears.

"Who says you're a meanie?" Jesse giggled as the dog rolled over and he
scratched her belly.

Seb just stood in shock. "Do you have a dog?" he asked.

"Nope, we live in an apartment, so if we did it would have to be one of
those little yapping things. If I had one I want a big one like this."

"You must have some strong mojo if she likes you."

"Maybe she just knows she has nothing to fear from me."

"Could be, but she could take out just about anyone. Maybe she just knows
that you are my friend and I'm going to do what I can to protect you--maybe
she senses that." Seb just shook his head. "I don't know, but let's get
inside; it's too hot out here."

They spent the afternoon playing video games and doing homework. The next
two days they did the same thing and then on Thursday afternoon, Jesse
brought Seb to the Sunrise Farms, his favorite of the farms that his mom
trained at.

First, Jesse led Seb to a changing room at one of the barns so he could
change into his riding clothes. Seb sat on a bench while Jesse went to his
locker and pulled out his stuff. He quickly changed into his breeches, tall
boots, t-shirt and gloves and he carried his helmet. He handed a second
helmet to Seb.

Seb looked at the helmet. "I have to wear this?"

Jesse grinned. "Yes, you do," he said, nodding. "Florida state law. Anyone
under the age of eighteen has to wear a helmet."

Seb took a good look at Jesse. "I don't have to wear any of that stuff do
I?" He was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt and sneakers.

Jesse laughed and shook his head. "Nope. You're good. If you ride more
often, you might wanna get some boots and half chaps."

"What are half chaps?"

"They're like shin guards," Jesse tried to explain, but Seb looked more
confused. "Ok, see my boots?' Seb nodded. "They're tall boots since they
come all the way up to right below my knees. This protects my calves when
I'm riding, cuz they can get rubbed raw. Some people wear yard boots; they
are more like shoes, so they use half chaps which wrap around your calves
and protect them."

"Ok." Seb was still not sure, but he was ready to get going.

Jesse led him into the barn. He walked up to an older man who was holding
two horses.

"Hi, Jesse," the man said.

"Hey, Mr. Timms, how are you today?"

"Pretty good, son."

"Mr. Timms, this is my friend, Sebastian, but you can call him Seb." Jesse
gestured between the two. Seb, this is Mr. Timms, he's the barn manager
here."

"Nice to meet you, Seb," Mr. Timms said, offering his hand.

"You, too, sir," Seb answered shaking Mr. Timm's hand.

"So they're all set for you, Jesse," Mr. Timms said, handing Jesse the
reins for the two horses that stood with him. "Anything else you need, I'll
be in the office or around somewhere."

"Ok, thanks, Mr. Timms."

"Anytime, son," Mr. Timms said winking at Jesse. "You know these two behave
their best for you," he added as he walked away.

Jesse turned to Seb and gestured to the two horses. "Sebastian, meet Peter
and Wendy," he said waving at the two horses. They were identical in size
and coloring. Both were a rich auburn with dark manes and tails.

"Wendy and Peter?" Seb asked as he slowly approached the horse closest to
him. He reached out and tentatively stroked the horse's neck.

"Yep," Jesse giggled. "Peter Pan and Wendy Darling...like the movie."

Seb rolled his eyes. "Who names their horse that?"

"Well, these are show horses, so they tend to have fancy or memorable
names."

"What kind of horses did you say they were?"

"Selle Francais."

"You know that means nothing to me, right?"

Jesse laughed. "They are French Warmbloods. Selle Francais is the French
term for that. They are great show horses and jumpers. These two are
awesome. A lot of them are really flighty and skittish, but Peter and,
especially Wendy, are so mellow and fun to ride."

"What did Mr. Timms mean that they behave for you?" Seb asked as the horse
he was stroking started nuzzling his hand.

"Well, you know how everyone thinks Kaya is mean or that she hates
everyone?"

Seb nodded.

"Well, when these two came in they gave their trainer a hard time. Rearing,
throwing a couple riders, bolting." As Jesse listed the pair's `crimes'
Seb's eyes got wider and wider and he moved away from the horse he was
petting. Jesse noticed and laughed. "But then they called my mom--well
actually they called my mom for me."

"You?"

"Yep. Ever since I was a little kid, I've had this connection with some of
the horses. They put me on the ones who cause the most trouble and somehow,
they always seem to behave for me."

"So, if you're not the one riding these two how are they?" Seb asked
nervously.

Jesse grinned. He thought it was funny that his self-appointed protector
was so nervous.

"They're great. Since I started working with them they haven't been a
problem at all. They just need to know that someone loves them and
understands them."

"Maybe that's what Kaya sees in you, too."

Jesse shrugged his shoulders. "Could be."

Seb went back to stroking the horse he had been petting before. He looked
closely at the horse. "Hey, where's the handle?"

"The what?"

"The handle on the saddle."

Jesse started laughing so hard he doubled over. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't
laugh. It's not a `handle', it's called a saddle horn and they are only on
western saddles. These are show jumpers--they wear English saddles."

Seb looked at the saddle again and nervously asked. "So, then what do I
hold on to?"

"You don't. The saddle horn on a western saddle is not there to hold onto,
it's actually there cuz that's where the cowboys wrapped their ropes when
they were roping cattle. When you ride English it's all about
balance. Don't worry; I'm not going to have you go any faster than a walk
until you are ready."

Seb still looked nervous as he nodded. "Ok."

"C'mon," Jesse laughed as he led both horses out of the barn.

Seb walked alongside Jesse. They walked over to a large fenced in
ring. Jesse asked Seb to open the gate and Jesse led the two horses in.

There were some ropes with clips on the end tied to the fence. Jesse led
one of the horses over to the fence and clipped the rope to its bridle, the
other horse he led back to the gate where Seb was waiting.

"Ok," Jesse started. "I'm gonna warm Peter up, and show you some of what he
can do. Then you can try Wendy."

Seb nodded, afraid if he spoke his voice would reveal the fear he was
feeling.

Jesse led the horse over to what looked like a plastic stepstool. He
stopped Peter so he stood next to the stool and pulled down the stirrups on
both sides of the saddle. He strapped on his helmet and stepped up on the
block, put his left foot in the stirrup and threw his leg over.

Seb watched fascinated as his little friend rode around the arena. It was
amazing to him that someone so small and so timid could be absolutely
fearless around these enormous animals. He knew horses were supposed to be
gentle, and these two were beautiful, but their size intimidated him.

Jesse rode Peter around the arena for about twenty minutes as Seb
watched. He would often stop to explain to Seb what he was doing or how the
horse moved. Seb was following along and getting more and more anxious to
try it himself. Then Jesse decided to show him some jumps and when Seb saw
that he knew it was something he had to try.

Jesse rode over to where Seb was waiting and hopped down. He led Peter over
to the fence where Wendy waited and clipped him to the fence. He unclipped
Wendy and took her over to Seb.

Jesse whispered to the mare as he led her over to Seb, "Look, no funny
business, ok? I want you to take good care of Seb; he's the first real
friend I've had in a long time."

Jesse stopped in front of Seb. He had Seb take Wendy's reins and lead her
over to the mounting block. He showed Seb how to make sure the girth was
tight enough and get his stirrups ready and he showed him how to mount.

Seb was nervous when he first got on the big horse, but after she started
moving and he got used to it, he knew he would be back. And he was.

After that day, Seb would come to Sunrise Farms with Jesse at least two
afternoons a week and often on Saturday and Sunday if there were
no-shows. While Seb never became anywhere near as good a rider as Jesse, he
did get to the point where he could jump and probably could have shown had
he wanted to. He liked riding for the fun of it and only went to shows to
cheer Jesse on.

Over the next few years, Jesse and Seb's friendship grew. Word quickly got
around school that Seb was Jesse's protector and what he was capable of if
riled.

Between the day they met in the fourth grade and the last day of ninth
grade, Seb grew several more inches until he was just shy of six feet
tall. He continued to study martial arts and exercised religiously so he
was very muscular. He pushed Jesse to exercise, but since Jesse was
starting with a smaller frame, bulging muscles were not in the cards. Jesse
did however grow a few more inches. By the time he was fifteen he was
5'8". He was slender but not skinny--his muscles more elongated than Seb's.

As they walked home after the last day of school, Seb was commiserating
with Jesse. They were spending the summer apart for the first time since
they met.

Seb was heading for summer camp where he would be working as a
counselor. He was looking forward to the experience, but didn't like the
idea of leaving Jesse on his own, since some of the kids they went to
school with seemed to grow meaner...and dumber with time.

Jesse was staying in Wellington. He was offered an apprenticeship by
Mr. Timms to work with the trainers. His mother was happy for him to get
the experience. She was also happy that she'd have time to spend with her
fiancé, Roger, another local trainer. She had been dating Roger for
about six months and they were getting married on Saturday.

Jesse did not like Roger; he felt he was a phony. From the first time he
came to take his mom out, Roger always acted like he wanted to be around
Jesse and take him places, but the vibe that Jesse got from him made him
very uncomfortable.

Seb tried to get Jesse to lighten up; he wasn't a huge fan of Roger either,
but he knew that Roger made Jesse's mom happy, so he thought they should at
least give him a chance. Seb was hanging around long enough to attend the
wedding and then he was leaving for camp on Sunday and would not be back
until mid-August.

The wedding was a small affair. Just Elizabeth and Roger, Jesse and Seb and
a few of Elizabeth's friends. They were married in front of a Justice of
the Peace and had a small reception at a local restaurant. They were only
taking a short trip to Miami for their honeymoon.

Jesse spent the night at Seb's so he could spend as much time with him as
possible before he left in the morning.

That night the two lay on Seb's queen-sized bed with Kaya stretched out
between them as they had done a hundred times before.

"So, Blondie, you gonna miss me?" Seb asked jokingly.

"Nope, Cisco, not a bit," Jesse teased. "I figure I'm gonna go find me some
real friends."

"Oh, yeah..." Seb responded as he reached around Kaya and grabbed Jesse. He
pulled Jesse over to his side of the bed and began to tickle him. Jesse
squirmed and laughed trying to break Seb's hold. Kaya jumped off the bed
and barked at the two boys. If it had been anyone other than Jesse
wrestling with Seb she would have been at their throat, but for whatever
reason she was as protective of Jesse as she was of Seb.

The two boys wrestled on the bed. When they finally tired, Jesse was laying
on top of Seb and looking into his friend's deep brown eyes. Jesse suddenly
felt a warmth in his stomach that he had never felt. Seb lay there panting;
he closed his eyes and Jesse looked at his face. Jesse felt a stirring in
him. He looked at Seb's lips and he couldn't help himself. He dipped his
head and kissed his friend on the lips.

Seb's eyes popped open. For a minute he didn't know what was
happening. Jesse had his eyes closed and was still kissing him. Seb got
caught up in the moment and wrapped his arms around Jesse and returned the
kiss.

Both boys closed their eyes and melted into each other. Seb opened his
mouth and licked around Jesse's lips. Jesse parted his lips and gave Seb
entrance. The two explored each other's mouth with their tongues.

They lay there kissing for what seemed like forever, but was actually only
a few minutes. When they broke apart, it suddenly dawned on Jesse what he
had done.

He jumped off the bed and ran into Seb's bathroom. Seb ran after him and
caught the door just before Jesse could shut it.

Jesse cowered in the corner of the bathroom. He started to cry. "I'm sorry,
Seb," he cried. "I don't know what came over me."

Seb walked over to Jesse, reached down and pulled Jesse to his feet. He
laid his hand on Jesse's cheek and with his thumb wiped some stray tears
from his face. He bent and kissed Jesse gently on the forehead. He wrapped
his arms around Jesse and pulled him into a hug.

"Jess, you dope, I was right there with you. Did you happen to notice
that?"

Jesse wrapped his arms around Seb and hugged him tight. "Yes," he said into
Seb's chest. "But I thought you were just going along."

Seb chuckled. "Jesse, it was a kiss. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a
little surprised, but I'd also be lying if I said I never thought about
it."

Jesse was shocked. "You have?"

"Well, yeah, you're my best friend, but you're more than that to me. I
think I've loved you from the first time I saw you. But, I didn't want to
put any pressure on you and I wasn't sure if you felt the same way."

"How could I not?" Jesse asked. "You've always been there for me. I've been
fighting these feelings for so long. But, if you knew I was..."

"Gay?"

"Yes," sighed Jesse. "I figured if you knew I was gay you wouldn't want to
hang with me anymore, and I couldn't take losing you."

Seb hugged Jesse even tighter and whispered in his ear, "You'll never lose
me, I'm yours forever."

Jesse pulled back and looked into Seb's eyes. "You mean..."

Seb nodded as he leaned in and kissed Jesse gently on the lips. Unlike the
passionate kiss of a few minutes ago, this was a tender lover's kiss that
told Jesse that Seb was not playing with him, that they would be together
forever.

Seb broke the kiss and took Jesse's hand and led him back to the
bedroom. He turned down the covers and lifted Jesse and placed him on the
middle of the bed. He slipped in next to Jesse and pulled up the covers and
snuggled into his newly christened boyfriend. For once, Kaya had to make do
with sleeping on the side of the bed as nothing was going to come between
Seb and Jesse again.

Seb held Jesse close while they slept. He knew that he loved Jesse more
than anything and that when this summer was over he would never leave him
again.

The next morning, Jesse and Seb shared a few passionate kisses before they
had to get up and shower so that Seb could pack and his parents could take
him to the airport.

Seb promised Jesse that he would e-mail him every day and they said a
private goodbye in Seb's room before going downstairs.

Jesse promised to come and visit Kaya a few days a week since the dog would
miss Seb all summer and Jesse was the only other person she seemed to care
about.

Jesse's summer went slowly; his mother and Roger returned from their
honeymoon and Roger moved into their apartment.

Almost immediately Jesse became concerned about Roger. He had always been a
little `off', but as soon as he moved in he started becoming mean as
well. Never to Elizabeth only to Jesse.

It started slowly. Roger would yell at Jesse for leaving his boots or his
gloves in the living room--something that Jesse had always done. He would
get after Jesse for not taking a proper phone message. One day he was upset
because Jesse had not done a load of laundry, even though Jesse had been
working at his apprenticeship since six in the morning. It was always when
it was just the two of them, never when Elizabeth was at home. But since
she was working long hours this summer and Roger was not, he and Jesse were
alone a lot.

Jesse tried to just deal with it. He knew that his mom had made a lot of
sacrifices for him and he didn't want to make waves when she had a chance
at happiness.

He also decided not to tell Seb anything, so he would not get upset.

The first time Roger struck Jesse was about three weeks after the
wedding. Jesse had just gotten home from a long day at Sunrise and he was
bushed. Roger had apparently spent the day lounging around and drinking. He
told Jesse to get him a beer. Jesse responded that he could get it
himself. Before he knew what was happening, Roger jumped up and slapped
Jesse across the face.

Jesse was stunned, never in his whole life had his mother ever raised a
hand to him. He turned and walked to his room.

A few minutes later, Roger was at his bedroom door. He apologized to Jesse
and told him he didn't know what had happened. He started to tell him that
he was feeling down since his job prospects had dried up, but that was no
excuse for what he had done.

Jesse decided to treat it as an isolated incident and not say anything to
his mother.

Jesse and Roger settled into an uneasy détente over the next week or so.

In early July, things took another turn. Jesse came home from a day at the
farm. He was in a great mood. He was working with two new horses and both
were coming along great. He was learning a lot about training and Mt. Timms
was teaching him about barn management as well.

Jesse was surprised to see his mom and Roger waiting for him in the living
room.

His mother's eyes were red and it was obvious she had been crying. For a
fleeting moment, Jesse hoped they were there to tell him about their
divorce. He was not pleased with himself for thinking that, but Roger was a
dick.

His mother told him to sit down and then told him that she had had a
doctor's appointment that afternoon to follow up on some tests. Her doctor
had noticed some abnormalities in tests she had done right before the
wedding and today she had new tests that confirmed the doctor's initial
findings.

Jesse's whole world started to crumble as his mother told him she had
pancreatic cancer. She would be checking into the hospital in the morning
for surgery and then the doctors would decide on a course of treatment for
her.

Jesse bit his lip so that he would not cry in front of his mother. He
wanted to put up a brave front for her. He went and sat with her on the
couch and hugged her.

That night he e-mailed Seb about what was happening and cried himself to
sleep.

Over the next several weeks, things became even more tense. After her
surgery, Elizabeth's doctors determined that she had stage four cancer and
that she had no more than six months to live. She kept this from Jesse,
trying to keep his spirits up and give him hope. Since she was unaware of
the way Roger treated Jesse, she thought her son would be in good hands
after her passing.

With Elizabeth in and out of the hospital, things quickly went from bad to
worse between Roger and Jesse. Roger laid into Jesse for the smallest
infraction and hit him more and more often. Jesse felt he had no other
choice then to suffer in silence. His mom was fighting for her life and he
couldn't add to that. All he had to do was make it until Seb got back in a
few weeks. Seb's parents loved him and he knew they would take him in.

Jesse found himself spending more and more time away from home. He would
arrive at the farm before sunrise and work all day. He would try to stay as
late as possible. On those days when Mr. Timms chased him off, he would go
to Seb's house and take Kaya for long walks. He had fantasies about taking
Kaya home with him and turning her loose on Roger. He knew the dog would
defend him the same way she would defend Seb.

One night in mid-August when he brought Kaya back from a long walk, Seb's
mom told Jesse that Seb would be a week longer then they originally
planned. He was going to stay with some cousins in Miami so that his
parents could go on a second honeymoon.

Jesse's heart sank--another week of Roger.

Jesse watched his mother deteriorate before his eyes. She was getting
weaker and weaker. He kept telling himself it was her treatments and that
she would get better. She wouldn't leave him with Roger.

Several times he almost told her about Roger and his `moods' but his
conscience always got the better of him. He couldn't do that to her in her
state--it wasn't fair. He had to protect her.

Jesse received an e-mail from Seb; he was at his cousins' and would be home
in just two days.

Jesse couldn't contain himself any longer. He wrote Seb a long e-mail
telling him everything that had happened that summer. He told him he was
sorry for not saying anything sooner but he didn't want Seb to worry when
he couldn't do anything about it.

Seb wrote back almost immediately:

Jesse—
	I knew something was up, you didn't seem like yourself. I'll be
home day after tomorrow and we will fix this. I am meeting my parents at
the airport and I will tell them everything and you will come and stay with
us. Always remember, I love you.

											---Seb

Jesse finally saw a light at the end of the tunnel; all he had to do was
make it through one more day.

The day finally arrived and Jesse was on pins and needles waiting for the
call from Seb. It never came.

When he got home from the farm, he called Seb's home number and no one
answered. He thought maybe Seb's plane or his parents' plane was
delayed. Well, he could make it one more night. He'd hear from Seb in the
morning.

When another day passed without seeing Seb, Jesse was becoming
worried. After work he walked over to Seb's house. His parents had put Kaya
in a kennel while they were away, but Jesse figured she would be back by
now. He was surprised that she had not come running around the house to
greet him.

He rang the bell. At first he thought maybe no one was home and then the
door opened.

On the other side of the door was Seb's sister, Dani. She looked like she
had been crying.

"Hey, Dani." Jesse said. "I didn't expect to see you here. Is Seb home? I
was expecting him to call me."

Dani looked at Jesse and started crying.

"Dani, who's at the door?" Seb's brother Isaac came to the door. "Hey,
Jess," he said quietly.

"Hey, Isaac. Where's Seb?"

Dani started crying harder and ran back into the house.

Isaac walked outside and closed the door behind him. Jesse liked Isaac; he
had always been very nice to him.

Isaac wrapped his arm around Jesse's shoulder and led him to the bench by
the walk.

Isaac sat on the bench and motioned for Jesse to join him. Jesse was not
sure what was going on.

"Isaac, where's Seb? He was supposed to call me the other day when he got
back; he was helping me with some stuff."

"Jesse, Seb's not here," Isaac said, his eyes filling with tears

"Ok, where is he? I really need to talk to him."

Isaac wrapped his arm around Jesse's shoulder and pulled the younger boy
closer.

"Jess, Seb's not coming back."

"What do you mean? Isaac, where is he?"

"The night before he was supposed to come back, Seb went out to a movie
with my cousins and some friends of theirs at the local mall. When they got
there was a couple of boys who were being harassed by some older kids. It
looks like they were picking on the boys cuz they were gay--we don't
know. Well, you know Seb..."

Jesse nodded. "He hates bullies."

"Yes, so my cousins tried to stop him, but he stepped in between the boys
and the bullies. He tried to talk to them, but the older kids rushed
Seb. Well, you know what Seb is like in a fight. He pretty much handed
those guys their heads. Seb had the younger boys come with him and my
cousins and they went to see the movie and then get something to eat."
Isaac started to choke up. "When they came out of the mall, the older guys
were waiting. One of them called over to Seb, he tried to ignore him but
three of them jumped him. He fought back and my cousins tried to help him,
but one of the guys had a gun. There was a struggle between him and Seb and
the gun went off..." Isaac's voice trailed to a whisper.

Jesse sat in silence. "So, which hospital is he in? I want to see him."

Isaac was crying hard as he choked out. "He's not in the hospital, Jesse,
he didn't make it."

"What do you mean?" Jesse cried as he struggled with the reality of what
Isaac had told him. "You mean he's..."

Isaac grabbed Jesse in a hug, "Yes, Jesse, he's gone."

"NO!!!" Jesse screamed as he struggled to break free of Isaac's
embrace. "NO!!! He can't be!!"

When he couldn't break free of Isaac, Jesse slumped into his arms and
cried.

The two sat on the bench clutching at one another while they grieved.

When both had composed themselves, Isaac sat back, still holding Jesse.

"I know, Jesse."

"Know what?" Jesse sniffled.

"I know about you and Seb." Isaac whispered.

"Oh."

"Seb called me from the airport the day he left for camp. He was so
excited. He had told me before how he felt about you, but he had been
scared of pushing you. He was so happy. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For always being there for my baby brother, for loving him."

"But he was the one who protected me."

"Jesse, Seb was always the baby of the family, he always was over-protected
by all of us; when he met you, you triggered something in him that first
day. I can remember him calling me at school the day he met you; he was so
excited to a have, as he put it, a real friend. I think when Kaya didn't
try to eat you that first day, was probably when he started to fall in love
with you."

"I think the first time I put him on Wendy is when I knew I loved him."

Isaac laughed, "That's one thing I'll always regret--I never saw him
ride. He loved it, you know. At first, he was doing it just for you, but in
the end, he loved it."

Jesse smiled and nodded as he began to cry again.

A thought hit Jesse. "Isaac, what about Kaya?"

"I don't know, Jess. She's till at the kennel right now; my parents are a
wreck and we have Seb's...funeral...tomorrow. I don't know what they'll do
with her. You are really the only one she'll listen to besides Seb. Do you
want to take her?"

"I would, but my apartment won't let us have big dogs."

"Let me talk to my parents; maybe they'll keep her for a bit and you can
come over and take care of her until they figure something out."

"Sure. I can do that for them...and Seb."

Isaac smiled warmly at his brother's love. He would always think of Seb as
the little boy who followed him around their house as a toddler, but he was
happy that Seb had known true love at least once in his life.

"Isaac?"

"Yes."

"You said tomorrow was Seb's..."

"His funeral. Yes, it's a St. Francis' at 10:00."

"Is it ok if I go?"

"Of course, Jesse, you have to be there. It's what Seb would have wanted
and I know my parents and Dani and I want it as well. If you want to meet
us here at 8:30 you can go with us."

"Are you sure?"

Isaac nodded. "Jesse, I know Seb was only sixteen and you're only fifteen,
but he loved you more than anyone or anything. My parents know that, and
they will want you there. Ok?"

Jesse nodded. "Ok."

"Are you gonna be ok?" Isaac asked gently.

"I don't know," Jesse answered honestly. "Seb meant so much to me, thinking
of him coming back is all that got me through this summer. Now, I don't
know what to do."

"What do you mean?"

"Isaac, you all have always been great to me and I love your family, but
right now is not the time to deal with my problems. I need to go. Is it ok
if I go to the kennel and visit Kaya?"

"That's fine. I'll call them and tell them that you are good to take her
out; I'm sure she misses you guys."

Jesse stood up and hugged Isaac one last time and then walked back down the
walkway and out the front gate.

He walked to the kennel. The lady who ran it had just talked to Isaac and
let him take Kaya out for a walk. Jesse took her to Seb's and his favorite
spot in the park. He played with Kaya for a while and then sat under a
large tree and watched the dog run around. After a few minutes, Kaya ran
over to Jesse. Jesse reached out and hugged the big dog and buried his face
in her neck and sobbed.

Seb's funeral was the hardest thing Jesse ever went through. Seb's family
treated Jesse like he was a member and had him sit with them and stand with
them in the reception line.

After the funeral, Isaac told him that he was going to get Kaya and bring
her to his parents' house and that he could come and see her anytime and
when he was ready, she was his to take.

Jesse thanked him.

Isaac dropped Jesse off at home after the funeral. When he walked into the
apartment, he was hit by the smell of stale beer and cigarettes.

Roger was sitting in the dark, several empty beer cans around him and an
ashtray filled with cigarette butts.

Jesse tried to slip into his room, but Roger stopped him. Roger told him
that his mother had slipped into a coma that morning and the doctors felt
it was only a matter of hours.

Jesse couldn't take anymore. Roger screamed at him that he was going to be
Jesse's only parent and Jesse needed to toe the line or there would be hell
to pay.

Jesse ran to his room and slammed and locked the door. Roger pounded on the
door, yelling and cursing at Jesse.

Jesse grabbed his backpack and started filling it with all the clothes he
thought he could carry. He grabbed his wallet and debit card. He was glad
that he had had his mom co-sign his bank account so he could get a debit
card and that he had saved all the money he had earned that summer at the
farm.

Jesse stripped off the dress clothes he had worn to the funeral and
hurriedly pulled on some shorts and a t-shirt. He was just tying his
sneakers when he heard a crash and saw Roger standing in the doorway, next
to the broken bedroom door.

Roger lunged for him. Jesse rolled off the bed and bounded to his
feet. Roger came after him. Jesse tried to run for the door, but Roger
grabbed the back of jeans and pulled him down. Roger's fist connected with
Jesse's face. Jesse was dazed for second and fell backward onto the bed. He
rolled off the bed and hit the floor. Roger began punching and kicking
him. He tried to roll away, but his ribs and side were killing him. He
thought about crawling under the bed. He looked to see if he would make it
and he saw a trophy that he had won at a show. It was lying just within
reach. He reached under the bed and took hold of the trophy. He kicked out
and hit Roger's knee with all the strength he could muster. Roger screamed
as he stopped kicking at Jesse and grabbed his knee. Jesse used the few
seconds he had to jump to his feet. Roger stood up and started walking
towards him. Jesse took a two handed grip on the trophy and swung it for
all he was worth. He caught Roger on the side of the head and the big man
went down.

Once Roger was down, Jesse didn't really care if he was dead or alive, he
just wanted to get the hell out of there.

He grabbed his backpack and ran from the bedroom and out of the apartment.

He ran to the hospital. When he got there he asked one of the nurses who
knew him if he could see his mom. The nurse led him into his mother's
room. She was hooked up to so many machines and she was so pale and
emaciated.

Jesse spoke to her for a few minutes, telling her he was sorry and he loved
her.

No one noticed him slip out of the room and leave the hospital.

He walked to Seb's house. At the door, he was greeted by Seb's mom who
grabbed him in a big hug. She asked about the bruise that was starting to
show on his face. He told her had gotten caught by an errant football
walking through the park.

He asked if he could take Kaya for a walk. Seb's mother thought that would
be good for Kaya as she seemed to be missing Seb terribly.

Jesse also handed Seb's mom a note that he had written at the hospital and
asked her to give it to Isaac.

Jesse took Kaya on her leash and walked out the front gate.

That was the last time anyone in Wellington saw Jesse or Kaya.

A few days later, Isaac received a letter that his mother forwarded to him
from Jesse. She was concerned that Jesse had never come back with Kaya and
no one had heard from him.

Isaac opened the letter:

Dear Isaac:

By the time you get this, I will be gone. I don't know where I am going,
but I need to get as far away from here as possible. My mom is probably
gone by now and without Seb, I can't take it. I'll either end up in a home
or worse with Roger. Though I don't know for sure, I think I might have
killed him.

I'm taking Kaya with me. I know I should have asked and I'm sorry that I
stole her, but she is all I have left of Seb and I need her.

Don't worry about me, Kaya will protect me like Seb always did.

In your dreams, if you talk to Seb tell him to always remember, I love him.

Jesse