**Phoenix here. Hope you like. Feel free to post or email at Phoenix_587@yahoo.com. Thanx to all those who have emailed so far.
Thanx to Bill (Gavianthe) for the words of inspiration. I do know the correct form is they're and not theyr'e..it's just that I had a real tight sched right now and whenever I do have the time to write I have to type it down real fast.Lol. Oh and I can't get someone to proofread, cause I don't want anyone to know I'm Bi...yet. So that's outta the question.
Thanx to Browny(brwnboiatl) for always being there to talk to, even when he's at work. This guy's one of the best!
And to Ashley_Young86 for keeping me in laughter...I swear I will NEVER understand the female Psyche.
To deeze95. My favorite Brit. Hope you enjoy. J Hope my English isn't too appalling! Lol.
To juilianj19 as always for the words of encouragement. My No. 1 reader. Literally the 1st person to join my group.
And who could forget my girl chellebelle. Have not heard in a while. Hope everything's okay. You're my source of Pep talk.
J
Chapter 10- "Meet the Parents!"
Today was the best day I've ever had..yet!. After the bathroom incident on Saturday morning at Joe's, I didn't see or hear from Brad. Why didn't I give him my phone number? I probably would have on Friday's "Date", but every time we were alone together something always seemed to get in the way. Well, that wouldn't be a problem after today. And what a day it was!
I arrived on school early, hoping to catch up with Brad before any of his friends came, but no luck. Brad wasn't there. I struggled through Chemistry and almost spilt hydrochloric acid on my lab partner..twice. Hell, the way I my mind was so caught up with Brad, if I'd spilled it on myself I probably wouldn't even have noticed. Lunch time came and I spent it with Josh and Stacy as usual. Josh seemed happy enough...but Stacy looked a wreck. I'd have to talk to her about these mood swings of her's sometime.
I better snap Stacy out of it, "Time of the Month Stace?"
Josh: "Hehe."
Stacy: "Huh?...I wish. Josh if you know what's good for you, you better wipe that smirk of your face!"
"Stacy...you look a wreck, what's wrong?", I asked.
Stacy: "Nothing's wrong Jessie..I'm just tired, real tired. I stayed up late last night that's all."
"Studying late AGAIN?", I was surprised. Stacy didn't need to be working so high. She could maintain an A average without much effort.
Stacy: "Yeah I was studying...sort of. Well bell's gonna go soon. I think we better head out to class."
While we were walking down the hall, Josh stopped to read an announcement on the notice board. He kept me and Stacy waiting so long that the bell went.
Stacy: "Jessie come on, we'll be late for English Lit."
I was curious to know what had so entranced Josh so I told her,
"Uh..you go ahead Stace. I'll come in soon. I just want to see what Josh is so taken up in."
Stacy turned and walked down the corridor and walked down halfway. Then she hesitated, turned around and headed back in my direction. Just what was up with the girl? First she's going, then she wants to stay?
Stacy: "You know what? I want to see what Josh is so interested in myself."
"Suit yourself.", I said. We made our way over to Josh. We were practically the only ones in the corridor by now. Jameson usually made her entrance to class ten minutes into the period. So I figured we'd be safe for a little while longer. Josh meanwhile was looking at an announcement that had been put up by...Coach Jefferson. Why would he be...
Josh: "Check this out Jessie..they're taking on newcomers to the football team. I think I'm going to try out. Seems they have an opening... Hmm Wednesday's good for me. Say why don't you...and Stacy, you could come to the field on Wednesday and cheer me on."
"Yeah sure! Stacy you've gotta come!", I exclaimed. I was sure Josh would make it. He definitely had the physique for it and I'd seen him play with some guys ( friendly yes ) but I think he might just be able to make the cut. Besides Brad would probably be there...I'd have nothing to do that evening so why not. Stacy had by this time gone into one of her trances again.
Josh: "Stacy, you up for it?"
Stacy: "Yeah...I'll be there. I'll probably spend half of the time doing home-work in the stands, but hey I'll be there."
Josh: "Yes, I knew I could count you!"
Josh patted me on the back and mussed up my hair. We were spending way too much time in the hall. Just then Brad came walking down the hallway. Josh was immediately tense.
"Brad shouldn't you be in class?", I asked.
Brad: "I was gonna ask you the same thing. Just came to see if something was wrong. I saw you...guys in the corridor a while back and when you didn't come in..I. Well Jameson should be coming to class soon. We better go in."
He was right. We were heading into class...as a matter of fact me and Stacy were practically in the classroom, when I noticed Josh and Brad weren't behind us.
"Uh..Stacy wait here if Jameson comes in make up some excuse if she asks where we are.", I told her.
She nodded and I went back out into the corridor to see what was up. I hoped Josh wasn't starting something. There couldn't be a worse time or place. And especially after Brad was being so nice. I rounded the bend and saw them talking. Heard `em too. I swear I so didn't expect what I heard,
Josh: "So I'm...sorry about the way I acted last week. I was going through...some stuff and well.."
Brad: "It's okay. I mean it happens. Hell..I should talk. After some of the things I've said and done. Don't sweat it bro."
Yes! The talk with Josh on Friday must have pacified Josh. I'll just not blow him and Stacy off so much again. I swear after what I just witnessed, I loved them even more. Josh for being such a good friend to apologise to Brad now that he'd seen that Brad was actually an okay guy. And Brad for accepting the apology, granted I knew he probably did it because he knew Josh was one of my friends, (only real guy friend really).
"Guys, you want to talk some more in detention? Cuz you'll have alla the time in the world there if Jameson has her way.", I announced.
We made our way back to class. Thankfully Jameson wasn't there yet. Stacy was a terrible liar. If she had to give an excuse we'd probably all end up in detention. No sooner did we take our seats did she walk in...and class commenced. We basically did a few readings and portrayals and the class ended with a reminder to use the next three weeks constructively on our Shakespeare project papers. Then bell rang announcing home time. I couldn't wait. We didn't care what Jameson said, we were going to use this evening to get to know each other better. During class Brad told me he couldn't spend more than two hours with me cause he had to hang with his boys...but I was still ecstatic. I decided to walk home and have him drive to my house though. Just not to get Josh mad. I mean he might have apologised to Brad, but I didn't know how he'd react to me riding home with Brad. Brad drove off and said he'd meet me at my house.
Brad: "Don't take too long...only got a couple of hours `kay."
"Yeah..just let me say goodbye to Josh and Stacy.", I reassured him.
I met up with Josh and Stacy in the quad.
Josh: "Wanna go hang in the arcade Jessie?"
Damn! "I can't Josh, I gotta be home soon...uh the `rents are expecting company and I gotta tidy up. We kinda left the place in a real mess this morning." I answered.
Josh: "Oh...well. At least you won't blow me off at the trials on Wednesday right?"
"Not a chance in hell", I reassured.
Stacy: "Neither will I, we'll be rooting for you Jess!"
Josh: "It means a lot Je- guys!"
I said goodbyes and hurried off to my house. I was walking briskly until I was sure that Josh or Stacy couldn't see me. Then I all but ran down the block. The neighbors probably thought I'd gone mad. As I neared the house I saw Brad's car pulled up alongside the street. It was on the opposite side of the road though. Real smart. Now no none would know that I wasn't alone at home.
When he saw me, he basically ran out of the car and into the house as soon as I'd opened the door. He basically pushed me onto the sofa, his tongue snaking its way into my mouth. He was being a bit rough but to be honest, I liked it. He soon stopped though.
Brad: "Jessie, there's something I need to tell you. Remember when we were at Joe's, on Saturday?"
"Yeah, Brad, how could I forget?", I said.
Brad: "You told me you were...gay. Is that true?"
Huh? Was...Brad having second thoughts? He must have seen the disappointed look on my face.
Brad: "Nothing's wrong with that. S'matter of fact if I'd known that, I would have acted sooner..still...there are some things we need to talk about.."
"What's wrong Brad?"
Brad: "Jessie..you're gay, but I'm..not."
Huh?
Brad: "I mean I still like girls and all but-"
"Oh, I get it, you have to be Bi right. That's okay Brad..lots of people are Bi-"
Brad: "Jess it's not so simple, see I like girls, but you're the only guy I want, I don't feel this way about any other guy..."
Honestly I was...flaterred. Me?..only me?
"Brad I don't care. So you're not Gay and you're not Bi. Those are just labels..let's just go slow and see where it goes.", I told him.
He brightened at that. But he went on.
Brad: "Then there's the other thing. Jessie I'm trying real hard...but there are some things you don't know. See...Jessie your so much wea..uh smaller than me and I don't want to get you hurt or anything..I don't want to be doing anything you don't wanna do. I just don't want you to be too afraid to say No."
"Brad you jerk, I'm not some girl you know. I'm a guy. Trust me, if you hurt me I'll MAKE sure you know it. " He looked amused when I said it. I knew and he knew I wouldn't stand a chance.
Brad: "And another thing I'm kinda afraid of anyone finding out-"
"Brad, no one has to know, it'll be our little secret. In case you're wondering I don't plan on coming out of the closet any time soon. So you gonna stop acting like a scared little prick."
I was honestly shocked myself! And to think if I'd said that only a days ago I'd probably live to regret it. That brightened him up though. Pretty soon he was all over me again, tickling me. I was roaring...
Brad: "So you're ticklish huh?"
"No! Brad...not really.", I lied.
Brad: "Really..then you wouldn't mind...this!"
Damn! He discovered my weakness all right. He stopped and I saw that he was staring into my eyes.
Brad: "You have beautiful eyes...you know that? I wanted to tell you that the first time I saw them."
"Honestly Brad, that's the best pick up line you got- heheheh B- Brad stop it- heheh."
Pretty soon we were back to sucking in each other's spit again. It was all lips, spit and tongue. I could tell Brad had a lot of practice. Poor girls, well he was mine now and I was gonna keep it that way! We were so into it we didn't even have time to react to-
Male Voice: Just what the hell is going on in here?!
Oh no! I knew that voice. It was my Dad. God no! What were they doing home so early? Everything seemed to crash..It was over! Brad jumped offa me. We were so tongue tied we untangled with a resounding "smack", it was kind of messy too. We were wiping our mouths as they (**Mom and Dad **) stared at us. I could neither say nor do anything...I glanced at Brad. He wasn't better off.
Dad: "Aren't you Austin's kid?"
Brad: "Yes Sir.."
Dad: "I want to talk to you..in the kitchen..now"
Mom walked over to me now. I couldn't read the look on the `rents faces. I couldn't tell if they were mad or not. I backed away when she approached...I couldn't look her in the eyes. I was probably close to tears..I didn't expect it when she hugged me,
Mom: "It's okay, it's okay. We're not angry. Just a little confused that's all."
"You d-don't hate me?", I managed to stammer in between the sobs I was suppressing.
Mom: "Of course not Jessie. Never! But we do have to talk about this...How long has this been going on."
"Well we only admitted it on Saturday..but he kissed me on Friday. He was here to study with me..."
Mom: "Jessie are you..?"
"Yes mom, I'm sure I'm gay..I've known since I was thirteen.", I told her.
Mom: "Jessie is...he gay, have you two done anything beyond...kissing?"
"No mom, Brad's not gay. But I know he cares for me. And we haven't done anything else, I swear. Mom...d'you think dad'll still like me?"
Mom: "He loves you Jessie, we both do. It's a little shocking for me, I'll admit but your our son, our only child, we'll always love you. I wish you could have come to us, talked to us.."
"I wanted to mom, I always thought about it. But on Sunday..when dad and you joked about me and Stacy, I was afraid of what you'd think."
Mom: "Don't ever be afraid to talk to us ever Jess. We're your parents."
"Mom, what d'you think dad is doing to Brad? He sounded mad when he walked in."
Mom: "Don't worry, he WAS mad. He saw..Brad on top of you and thought you were being...attacked. I guess it was in the good way..right?"
I couldn't help but smile. Still I would have given anything to know what was going on in there.
Damn! So much for this being a secret. I just don't know what goes on when I'm with Jessie. My senses seem to go all numb. On Friday when I'd kissed him, HE had to warn ME about his parents. He musta been too taken up to hear `em today. And now I was in for it. Mr. Lawrence was guiding me to their kitchen. Probably going to rage at me...oh no! He had asked me,
"Aren't you Austin's kid?"
He knew my dad! Was he going to call my parents?! Tell them about me? My world was over...
Jessie's Dad: "All right, so talk. Just how long have you been doing this to my boy?"
What was I gonna say?
Jessie's Dad: "How long has this been going on?"
I decided I might as well cooperate. If I got him madder (**strange, he didn't seem too mad, considering what he'd walked in on**) there was no telling what he might tell my father.
"Since Friday, Mr. Lawrence", I answered.
Jessie's Dad: "Have you and Jessie done...anything else...other than what I saw. And stop being so tense. I was only mad when I first saw you, `cause I thought you were beating up on him. So talk."
Huh? He wasn't mad? He didn't look it.
"No sir we haven't done anything else. I'd never force him to do anything he didn't want to do.", I said.
Jessie's Dad: "Good. I just want to make sure of what I saw. Is Jessie...?"
"He's..gay..yes if that's what you mean sir", I spoke up.
Jessie's Dad: "And what about you?"
"I'm not gay sir but I care about him. A lot."
Jessie's Dad: "You'd better not be trying some little adolescent ploy on him. He's been so much...happier lately. If you're toying with him and he finds out, he'll be wrecked. So you better not be using him."
That got me a little mad, "Using him-"
Jessie's Dad: "We're both grown men. Don't play with me..you know what I'm talking about."
"You're not angry at him...at us?", I asked incredulously.
Jessie's Dad: "I can't say I'm not surprised, but he's my kid. I'm not going to lose him over something like this. I'll go have have a talk with him later, when I'm done with you."
I wished my parents would react like this if they'd found out about me.
Jessie's Dad: "I won't tell your parents if that's what you're worried about. That's up to you if you want to or not. You'd better not hurt Jessie, Brad. `Cause then all bets are off."
Silence...
"I won't Mr. Lawrence..just give me a chance."
Jessie's Dad: "Jessie doesn't open up to many people. As a matter of fact Stacy and Josh, you know `em?"
"Yes, sir I know them"
Jessie's Dad: "They're probably his only friends. If he's opened up to you, I assume it's a good thing. If he can give you a chance, so can I. Still, you told me you would never force him to do anything he didn't want to do. That might be good enough for Jessie. But it's not good enough for me. I'm his father, I'm supposed to protect him. I want you to promise me even if he WANTS to do something and you know it'll be bad for him, no matter what you want, you won't let him do it. Sometimes people want the things that're no good for `em. If you can promise me that...then I'll back off.
"I..promise sir. I won't ever let anything bad happen if I can help it."
Jessie's Dad: "Good...now I think you'd better go. I want to talk to Jessie. I think it'll be easier on him if you're not here."
"Yes sir...and thanks, for everything." I turned to leave.
Jessie's Dad: "One more thing..as long as you keep that promise, you're welcome anytime in this house."
I thanked him and left. That went rather well. Thank god it ws his parents that found out and not mine.
I went up to my bedroom that afternoon. I just wanted to be alone. I didn't even feel like eating. I knew Mom was still the caring person I always knew her to be, but after what Dad had seen...I didn't know how our relationship had changed. I didn't know what he'd said to Brad. I didn't hear any yelling, maybe that was a good sign. But then again, Dad was a quiet guy. I mean he knew Brad's father, that much I knew...what if he called him and told...
There was someone knocking on my door...
Dad: "Can I come in kiddo, I want to talk for a bit."
Oh no! It's him. What was I going to do. What was he going to do? Was I gonna get kicked out?!
Dad: "Jess, I just wanna talk, nothing else, okay. I coming in."
He turned the door knob and entered the room. I was lying on my bed at this time trying to contain myself. I wasn't going to break down. He probably would think I was such a fag. I musn't let him think that. I didn't want my father thinking that..
Dad: "So Jess, is there anything you want to talk to me about? Like what I saw this afternoon."
I thought long and hard about what Stacy had told me...a lot of teens experiment right? Maybe I could convince Dad what he saw was just that...an experiment...I hoped it worked. It was my only hope of restoring whatever closeness Dad and I had.
"Well, me and Brad were studying...and we got to talking see, and eventually we were talking...about girls. And Brad was telling me what it was like to kiss a girl...and um well, we wondered what kissing a guy was like...and we were friends and all so we decided just to see what it was like. That's all.", I rambled, not very convincingly, I could never lie too good to my parents.
Dad: "I never thought it'd come to this Jessie."
Oh no, he sounded upset..he knew. He was gonna..
Dad: "Never thought you'd lie to me. I know Jessie. Brad told me...everything. I'm not mad..at you for that Jessie. I'm mad because you wanted to lie to me, and not tell me the truth."
"D-Dad, I didn't know what to...what you'd think. I..I knew you'd hate me. I saw how mad you looked when you walked in. I couldn't stand it if you hate me..I..."
Damn! Why now, why did I have to cry? He probably thought I was a weak little fag..
I was so convinced by my preconcieved notions I didn't even notice it at first when he put his arm around me. Even now it never fails to leave me in awe, just how much parents can love their kids...makes me realise just how lucky I am.
Dad: "Jessie, I don't know why you'd think I'd hate you. Why did you think you couldn't come to me with this. It couldn't have been easy, living with it."
I had to force the tears away to speak, "I was gonna tell you and Mom ...someday. B-But I wanted to wait until I was all grown up, I thought if you knew right now you'd throw me..."
Dad: "You thought we'd throw you out?! We'd never...I'd never. Jessie, promise me if there's anything you ever need to talk about you'll come to your mother and me. You're our only kid. We're never going to push you away."
"The way you were joking about me and Stacy yesterday morning...I thought you'd never understand."
Dad: "You're sure you're gay Jessie...just how long have you known?"
"Three years...dad.", I told him.
Dad: "Your Mom and me...we won't lie. It's a shocker...but we'll try our best to be understanding. Jessie, it's your life but...if only I'd known this when I gave you The Talk...Jessie, if you and Brad ever decide on doing anything...I want you to be..Safe..understand. I've talked to Brad about this...and he seems. I know his father and well he seems nothing like I've heard."
"He's changed Dad..he a real nice guy. He'd never.."
Dad: "I think you're right. That's why I'm not going to stop you two from seeing each other. He can even come over on after-noons if you like."
"Do you really mean it dad, you don't..hate me."
Dad: "I know how teenagers are. If I try to stop you, you'd disobey and the situation would just degrade. I'm not going to lose my one and only kid over this. I set him straight on the ground rules...and as long as he obeys `em he's welcome here anytime. Your Mom and I would like to get to know him better. Maybe we could invite him over to dinner one of these evenings. Speaking of which you better get dressed, we came home early cause your Mom and me wanted to take you out for dinner today. You didn't eat anything since you came home."
I couldn't believe it. It was such a relief to be out at least to my parents. It made today the best day I'd had in a long time. When he left me to get dressed, I realised just how wonderful my parents truly were. I didn't know what I did to deserve them. When I came back from dinner, I'd have to call Bra- Frick! I STILL had to swap phone numbers with him! God, I am such a Ditz!
Monday...I could barely wake up this morning. I'd stayed up real late last night, after I'd called Stacy and confessed I was..gay. I didn't think I'd ever tell anyone so soon. But I just couldn't go on living with it being a complete secret...known to no one but me. It felt like I was living a lie. Now at least I had partial relief.
I stayed up last night to plan a course of action, to figure out a way to deal with the current Jessie/Brad situation. I still had misgivings about Brad's supposed "friendship" with Jessie. It was only at school today that an idea came to me.
After lunch, I was walking down the corridor, when as luck would have it, I saw an announcement from coach Jefferson. The team was taking on all comers. No doubt on the team I'd be able to get an inside scoop on Brad. I decided then and there to try out. Jessie and Stacy agreed to root for me on the stands...all the encouragement I'd need. Just then Brad came down the corridor. He was aking us why WE weren't in class...but I knew better. He wanted to know why Jessie wasn't in class, next to HIM. Anyway, we decided to go to class...then a thought hit me. I'd "apologise" to Brad. When Jessie and Stacy walked into class, I told Brad I wanted to talk to him. (**I knew Jessie's curiousity would make him come out.**) I knew better than to do it right in front of him. I wanted him to walk in on us. That way, he wouldn't think I was just doing it for him to see. I was smart enough to know if I kept up open hostility to Brad, it wouldn't be long before tension between me and Jessie would come. Then he'd push me away..and I wouldn't be able to keep an eye on Brad. I wasn't going to allow that.
"So I'm...sorry about the way I acted last week. I was going through...some stuff and well.."(**Yeah, you just fall for it...**)
Brad: "It's okay. I mean it happens. Hell..I should talk. After some of the things I've said and done. Don't sweat it bro."
Haha..knew the fool would. Just then Jessie walked in..perfect. Judging by the look on his face, it worked without a hitch!
Now all I needed was to score on the football field on Wednesday and my plan would be in motion. I'm not too worried about that...I'd seen some of the lame competition.
Just then the phone rang. Wonder who?
Stacy: "Josh...you there? Pick up"
Stacy...I picked up the reciever.
"Hi Stacy, everything all right with you?"
Stacy: "Everything's fine with me...but is anything okay with you?"
Me? Well aside from...
"Yeah Stace, everything's good. Why'd you ask?"
Stacy: "Josh, why're trying out for the football team?"
"I just want to Stacy...I", damn. I didn't really WANT to..I HAD to
Stacy: "This doesn't have anything to do with Brad, right?"
Ouch! She should work for the Psychic Hotline...
"Why do say that, Stace?", I asked.
Stacy: "Josh, you don't have to compete with him for Jessie's friendship. That is what you feel for Jessie...right?"
Huh?! Okay, scratch the first part out...Me and Brad, he was NO competition...but did she know how I felt about Jess-
Stacy: "Josh, you there?"
"I'm still here Stacy.."
Stacy: "Is there anything you want to tell me about Jessie? About how you might feel about him..don't lie Josh, I'm a girl, you can't con ME."
*Sigh*, I'd already told her I was Gay...what harm could it do...
"Stacy...I..love Jessie, and not in the FRIENDLY way." , I said.
Stacy: "I thought so...does this have anything to do with how you've been treating Brad lately?"
"I've seen the way Brad looks at him Stace. A gay guy knows...it drives me crazy knowing that he's acting like he just wants to be friends with Jessie, when he's staking claim."
"NO! He'd think I was some sort of...it'd freak him out. Stacy, don't say anything."
Stacy: "It won't come from me Josh. But I REALLY think you should tell him. Anyway I gotta go. And take it easy."
"Bye Stace."
Stacy: "Bye Josh." Click. And she was gone.
Well another of my secrets revealed...
**Ok. This little footnote is for any female readers out there. It's concerning the "Time of the Month" Quip I used in Jessie's and Stacy's conversation. I know how touchy a topic it is. I'm not really THAT callous. If anyone was offended...I'm really, really sorry.**
**Important Notice**
With new people coming on, I put this message here where everyone would see it without me having to email the same people over and over. This will be the last update until the second week of June. Maybe. I say maybe because I just may find the time to write...I don't know yet. Just check on weekends, Saturday preferably. If I don't get to update this story I might have been able to write a short one. After the second week of June, I'll have six months off. Which I will use to write everyday..to update this story as well as write others. So don't think I left ya'll hangin'. The Phoenix will have arisen from the ashes!