Say You Love Me
Chapter 21

Jessie's Point Of View

There I was, standing at the front door of Vickie's house. After the way I'd spoken to her three days before, Stacy had all out demanded that I apologise. Being the swell dude that I am, I aquiesed...after she hounded me like a doggoned bitch. It had been a tough three days. For one thing, it was hard to avoid Vickie all of the time. It wasn't that I was not feeling apologetic. Because I was. It was just that I never acted out like that to anyone before, far less a girl who was attracted to me, and I didn't know exactly how to go about apologising. 

*Come on fool, open the damned door and get this over with.*

I mustered up the courage and rang the doorbell.

[Ding Dong!]

A few seconds passed. A response was yet to come. My courage suddenly faltered and I took solace in the hope that maybe she was out, doing whatever it is girls do on a Friday evening.

[Diiiiiinnngg Doonng!]

*Oh cool. She's not home. Well, at least I tried!* 

Just then the door opened and a dripping wet Vickie with nothing but a towel draped over her tight, sleek body appeared. It was just the shock that made my jaw drop open and my eyes pop, I assure you. I quickly diverted my gaze. Not before I saw her try and conceal a superior, womanish smirk though. Perhaps my gaze lingered on her mostly nude body a little too long.

Vickie: "Jessie...What are you doing here?"

My reply was barely formulated in my mind, nevertheless she grabbed my arm in a deathgrip and pulled me into the house. 

Vickie: "Sorry I took so long to answer the door. I was in the shower."

"I...can see that."

She seemed to catch that I wasn't all the comfortable with seeing her so...exposed. She probably took it that I was a very bashful guy. Which was excellent...otherwise she might have thought that I was gay. I defintely wouldn't want that.

Vickie: "Just a sec. I'll go put something on."

"Yeah, you do that."

I took the time to peruse the living room. It had been a while since I last visited. Presently she returned and took a seat on the sofa. With a gesture she beckoned me to do the same. I took a seat on one of the one seaters. 

Vickie: "So, what brings you to my house? I was under the impression that you were trying to avoid me all week."

"Uh, yeah. Well, the thing is..."

*Say it...*

Vickie: "Yeah..."

"I'm sorry...for yelling at you on Tuesday. I guess you were just looking out for me."

Vickie: "Hmm..."

"And about...okay, I do like you a lot, just not the way you think."

Vickie: "Okay, about that. I guess I was a little forward."

I eyed her a little accusingly. Probably not the best thing to do with me expecting her forgiveness and all. But come on, she basically tossed a leash on me and claimed ownership.

Vickie: "Okay, I was a controlling bitch."

"And I was an insensitive jackass. Are we even?"

Vickie: "Even."

She started eyeing me a little probingly, and then the interrogation began.

Vickie: "Okay, so were you so mad because there's someone else you're interested in?"

"I told you I didn't have a girlfriend."

My eyes started shifting about rather uneasily.

Vickie: "I know that. I just meant someone you have your eye on."

Well, I wouldn't lie. I'd answer her questions as honestly as I could.

"I guess you could say that."

Vickie: "Oh...so having any luck in wooing her?"

"Wooing her? What century do you think this is? And no, I'm having no luck in wooing her."

Vickie: "Oh. I'm sorry if I put you on the spot."

"Yeah, well it's forgiven. Hey look at the time, I gotta go home."

Vickie: "But you just barely got here."

"I only stopped off to apologise. I gotta go-"

Vickie: "What do you do for fun on a Friday night?"

Actually, that was what I was planning on doing. It had been hellishly hard to do, but I had convinced my parents to...spend a little time together. Preferably out of the house. They worked so hard all the time...they deserved to have some time for themselves. Rekindle whatever romance they could at "their age". They obviously saw right through it. I was basically trying to get rid of them so that Brad and I could have some alone time for a change. We all had a family discussion (more like a heated talk). They didn't see what them being in the house or not had to do with me and Brad spending time together. It was a big house they said. We wouldn't even know that they were in the house, they said. Which I knew was a load of bull. They popped in on me all the time when I'm alone in my room. Probably trying to reveal some of the mystery of having a gay son. I argued my point and asked them if they would have wanted the same treatment if they were in my position. Turns out they had to endure it from their folks too. Then they started saying that we shouldn't be doing anything that would require them to be out of the house. I wasn't planning to do anything...much. And I thought that they had me there for sure with that argument.

Until I brought up the fact that it wasn't a run of the mill relationship. And Brad wasn't exactly a run of the mill kind of gay guy. He was probably bi and only now was discovering it. He wouldn't be comfortable being with me in an intimate way if my parents were anywhere in the building. Then I started to beg...thank God for sentimental mothers being able to pacify overprotective fathers. They agreed to my request. Of course I later found out that it wasn't a matter of trusting me on mom's part. She was merely playing along to trick dad. It had been years, she said, since they had ever really done anything together that could be considered romantic. It was all work, work, work... she had pretended to be on dad's side to trick him into going out. That way, we'd both get what we wanted. What a conniving mother I had! So now, I had to get back home and have some fun.

"Nothing much...Look, I really gotta go."

Vickie: "It's just that...well, you always seem to try and run from me."

"I do not. I'm just...tired."

She was eyeing me accusingly. 

"Um...okay. How about you come with me when I go to my interview with Samantha and April."

Vickie: "Interview? Are you really going to that interview?"

"Well...yeah. I mean, it could put me on the map. I could get some attention for once."

Vickie: "Attention? Jessie, you don't have to make a fool of yourself for attention."

I was under the impression that I was becoming the outcast in our little group. I mean Brad has his cool friends. Friends he'd been hanging out with all week to the point that all we saw of each other was pretty much in Jameson's class. Josh was making waves on account of him joining the football team, even hanging a little with Brad's friends. It wasn't even near football season yet and it still counted. Gabriel seemed to be Mr. Popularity all of a sudden. The girls were fawning over him as he was the newest and cutest boy toy around. I don't know what they liked about his Canadian accent. And Stacy...well she was making waves too. While the girls were fawning over Gabriel, their boyfriends were basically eating her with their eyes...like wolves. Oh, Vickie was always popular before she left, and I'd even seen her past aquaintances catching up with her. And then there was...me. I couldn't even do myself a favor and call myself ordinary or run of the mill. I was not even that lucky. If anything – I was invisible. All I had to do was keep my mouth shut and people didn't even notice me. And then I go through that one little accident and suddenly:

Girl: "Hey, I know you have no idea who I am, but my folks know yours and well...just glad to see that you're okay."

Boy: "Damn...near coma and back in school already? You gotta hard head. Later dude!"

Who would have thought that attention could be so...addictive. So I just wanted to make the most out of it. And then there was the fear. I mean, I had Josh and Stacy forever. And I thought that if I didn't do something pronto to get in with the "in" crowd...the crowd that they seemed to be prime candidates for getting into, I'd eventually lose them. I mean, who'd want to be seen with the guy who nobody knows? Well, it was more like I thought that they'd hang out with me less and less and then...it'd be over. It may sound stupid but when two friends you've grown up with start to change...it scares you. 

"Well, I just guess I don't want to be invisible anymore. I want to live for once...that little thing...getting knocked into a near coma sorta made me see how much I've been missing in life. I want to have some fun and get the best out of it that I possibly can."

Vickie: "Jessie, you want to get the best out of it, right? Then start opening up more. Go out there and have some fun. Do something extra-curricular. God, hang out for a change someplace that doesn't scream Geek!"

I am so NOT a Geek! Aren't I...

"What do you suggest?"

Vickie: "Well, how about we all go out somewhere this weekend, hmmm?"

I was a little jumpy. I mean the last time we went out (last weekend) to a place that she suggested...I ended up in a near coma. Although I won't lie, it was sorta fun...when I wasn't massaging her nearly nude body...or fighting for my life in a hospital room. She caught onto my apprehensive mood. 

Vickie: "Oh, come on. Nothing is going to happen. We'll be as far away from water as possible."

"I dunno..."

Vickie: "Is this the way you want to get the most out of life?"

She had a point. Time to follow through.

"So what do you suggest?"

Vickie: "Oh, well...we could all go catch a movie or something."

"I'll let you know. But couldn't you come up with something better than that? I mean, you go on and on...and doing a movie is all you can throw out? Girl, what has happened to you?"

Vickie: "Well, since I'm just breaking you in...I can't just organize a rave on the fly and expect you to show up."

A rave! Hell no! At least not just yet.

"Okay...if I'm free."

I gave it some more thought.

"And as long as you know it's not a date or anything."

Vickie: "Right, just friends. Still you better wear something passable."

I began scrutinizing the jeans and tee I was wearing. Okay, so I was no Fabio...but they were passable. I always liked pretty colors. Ever since I was a kindergartener. And that wasn't going to change anytime soon.

"What's wrong with this?"

Vickie: "I think maybe black jeans instead of blue. Hey, maybe even black leather pants! And please, try and match your clothes for Christ's sake!"

Okay...here's the thing. It was the latest fag fad in our school to assume that leather pants on a guy equals gay. There was even that Ricky Martin column in the school paper. He couldn't seem to stop wearing them...and I don't know where people come off saying that he's gay. The worse came to worst when they named that orchid after him. So there was no way I'd be doing that. Although, there must have been something to the black leather pants...cuz a part of me was real turned on by the idea of wearing them. Or better yet, having Brad wear them in one of my biker boy fantasies of him. Vickie was away for close to three and a half years. She had no idea of the latest sleaze. She was all the way up in Canada after all.

"I am not wearing black leather pants!"

Vickie: "But why, you'd look even hotter!"

I hated when stuff like this happens. I'd have to tell her why in case she found out by herself that they were like a gay ID card. They were the next thing to wearing an earing in your right ear. If she found out by herself that they were gayish, and I hadn't told her she'd wonder why I (a supposedly straight and therefore supposed to be semi-homophobic guy, if you live in Calvary that is,) didn't. It's bad to be a hippocrite, and worse when you have to lie about how you feel about your own sense of self.

"Because it looks so damned fagotty, that's why."

There...I said it. Just maintaing appearances and living up to expectations. People are just full of surprises. I mean, first there's Jameson and her resounding support for a gay playwright. Then Victoria... She changed her expression real fast. Then she started asking me if I was one of those homophobic jerks. She'd met quite a few she said, and then reeled off about how people are people...and that she couldn't believe that I'd be such a bigot! Of course I had to act slightly pissed and apologise for it. But the real me was just screaming for joy inside. I almost felt like hugging her, hell kissing her, but caught the thought. Not only would it be weird...possibly gross, but she might think I was making a move. 

"I'm sorry, um...how about I wear black jeans?"

Vickie: "Hmm...Okay. And that black tee with the flames on it that I saw you in on Wednesday. That'd look hot!"

Easy girl...

"You saw me on Wednesday? I thought I hid pretty good."

Vickie: "Ain't no man livin' that can hide from me."

I didn't doubt her a for a second. Then before she could talk and detain me some more, I said goodbye and left. 

Josh's Point Of View

It was annoying. Just one more reason to be glad that he was gay and not into women. Nag, nag, nag was all his mother seemed to be doing for the past week. And she wasn't letting up for a second on Friday night either. Josh was in front of the tube killing time, watching old reruns of "The Simpsons" and his mother kept pestering him about his personal life. It was almost like he had found a replacement fag hag. Stacy was all busy doing God knew what with Gabrielle (Josh caught his kicks imagining him as a drag queen) and he hadn't been seeing much of her. Then again, that may have been a good thing too. After all, he had not been hearing much from her as well. But now his dear Mother was filling her shoes. And doing such a great job at it too.

Mom: "Josh, have you spoken to Jessie yet?"

He sighed in exasperation.

Josh: "About what, mom?"

Mom: "You know what."

Josh: "For the last time mom, no. I'm not going to. He'd freak out on me."

Josh was still pretending to her that Jessie was a straight. After all, it was up to you if and when you came out. No way was he going to be revealing anyone's secrets, especially something like that. Not even for his mom who was only meaning for the best.

Mom: "I don't think so. You two have been inseparable since you were six. I really...really think it would be a good idea to talk to him...about how you feel."

"Mom, I've told you Jessie is straight."

Mom: "I've been thinking about that."

Oh no. He knew that she almost always came to the right conclusions whenever she thought long and hard enough about something. And Jessie had told him that she was eyeing him all weird and stuff. And he was under the impression that she could know about his sexuality. She was almost like a second mom to him anyway. And women were so perceptive...and a lot of them were smarter than he gave them credit for too. 

Mom: "I think...well, I don't exactly have radar here-"

"It's called Gaydar, mom."

Mom: "Right, well I don't exactly have Gaydar here...but I think that maybe he could be...um, batting for your team."

Josh: "Huh? What! Hahahaha...good one, mom."

Laugh it up, don't let her see how worried you are that she's close to the truth. Then she'd be even more convinced. She had some cogent points too.

Mom: "I mean it. He's never had a girlfriend has he? There was the time that we teased him that he and Stacy were dating, and he swore he wasn't. A little too forcefully I might add. I didn't think of what it could mean until now."

Josh: "Um...well, that doesn't prove anything. Lots of guys don't date."

Mom: "Like you? Okay, well maybe if they just can't seem to get a girl, but I don't think he should have any trouble. He's hot.."

Eeewwww!

Josh: "Mom! Don't let dad ever hear that you've been scoping out teenaged boys."

Mom: "Hahaha! Who's gonna tell him? You know what I mean. And all teenaged boys are horny, all the time. I remember your father. He was always so frisky. There was the time when we-"

Good Lord! Have mercy!

Josh: "Mom...stop it, you're scaring me."

Mom: "The point is, if he could get a girl, don't you think he would...if he ^wanted^ one?"

Her logic was cogent. 

Mom: "So I think...that instead of pining, you should talk with him. You never know. You just might score. And I think he'll be perfectly understanding. Even if on the odd chance he's perfectly straight. I think he has to be at least bi."

Dear God, it had reached the point where his mother was giving him advice on scoring with a guy!

Josh: "Oh alright mom, I'll talk with him if it'll get you off my case."

He might as well just satisfy her.

Mom: "And, what if I'm right? What if he is at least bi, are you going to try and - "

Josh: "You know it!"

That went on to a serious talk about safe sex and STDs and the dangers of promiscuity. Josh wished he didn't sound so enthusiastic. Presently she ceased all that talk. And not a moment too soon, Josh almost ran out of the room.

Mom: "Now, that's done. If he is, I hope you don't let him get away."

Josh could barely humor her. He already felt like he lost him.

Josh: "Yeah, mom. Thanks..."

Mom: "After all, you may be a McKenzie – but you have Delaney blood in you. And come Hell or High Water, we Delaneys always get our man."

It was nice to have an understanding mom. They always knew just what to say...

Jessie's Point Of View

It was around seven when I walked into my own house. The place was pitch dark. Which was odd because I would have thought that Brad would have been there already. I had given him a key after all. He could have been running a little late. He did say that he had to drop off a few of his buddies first. I was stumbling towards a light switch when I heard it...footsteps. I started panicking...I was alone in a dark house and there were footsteps. I was no fighter...could it be a burlgar or something? Who'd be skulking around in our pitch black house? I was easing my way towards the kitchen, going to get the butcher knife...some sort of weapon to defend myself from whoever was lurking around the house. 

I was almost in the kitchen when I was confronted by the silhouette of a man. Without thinking, I did what was the only thing possible that would have given me a fighting chance against someone that big anyway. I kicked him in the balls, and when I saw him go down with a piercing high pitched scream -it could have shattered glass if it was an octave higher- I ran into the kitchen, flicked on the light, armed myself with the butcher knife and turned around to face...Brad?! Or Brad on the floor rather.

He was lying on his back, eyes closed, biting his lips no doubt to contain the screams that were threatening to erupt. I dropped the knife and rushed over to his side. He started writhing and I swear I thought I saw a teardrop or two slip out of his closed eyes.

"Brad, Oh God! I'm so sorry, I thought you were a burglar. And then the house was dark and-"

Brad: "Fuck! That was...I mean no guy worth his salt should ever drop so low to kick below the belt in a fight! I don't think you'd like my eggs scrambled!"

"Eggs...scrambled?! I mean, I'm really, really sorry. I thought you were robbing the house. What were you doing here in the dark?"

He groaned a little before he spoke and I had to wipe off a few beads of sweat off his forehead. He seemed to be completely incapacitated and unable to do it himself.

Brad: "Not that I'm glad it worked or anything, *nugh*...but I was waiting here to surprise you. I didn't know if you'd come in through the back door or the front. Are those shoes of yours steel tipped?"

As a matter of fact – they were, not that I let him know that mind you. 

Brad: "God...I don't think I ever got one so hard before."

Huh? What the Hell?! So this wasn't the first time?

"Um...so this has happened before?"

Brad: "Well yeah... It's a guy thing. If you wanna see who's the stronger man, he's the one who can take the most ball bustin' without screaming out."

I grimaced. It sounded like something cavemen would do to settle an argument. I was glad that I wasn't that kind of guy. It sounded like it was something that should have been avoided at all costs. After all, what's the sense of risking the loss of your manhood to prove that you're a man? You could end up less of a man than when you started, especially if you screamed like a little girl. It was a little funny how he screamed when I kicked him though. Although I was sure that if it had happened to me, I'd be crying.

"You sounded like a scared little girl when you went down."

He sourly frowned at me and I hid my smirk quickly.

Brad: "How's about I return the favor and we'll see how you sound?"

The mere threat of it was almost enough to reduce me to a girly pitch. 

"You wouldn't dare. I'd-"

Brad: "What, scream? You know, you don't seem all that sorry. Considering you just broke a sacred guy tenet."

"I am, honest."

He looked up at me a little deviously. I could recognize it as a mix between lust and mischief. He grabbed my wrists and pulled me down on top of him.

Brad: "So prove it."

"And how should I prove it, hmm?"

Brad: "You just gave me one hell of a boo-boo. I'll probably have blue-black balls for a week. So now you have to kiss the boo-boo and make it all better!"

That made us both laugh. The mimicry in his voice was also a killer. He was sounding like a wee wittle baby. It was then that I had a notion. I mean I was more than horny and I could tell that no matter how much he meant it as a joke, he'd definitely be more than willing to comply. It wasn't like we were going to actually fuck or anything. I'd never betray my parents' trust like that. But this could be a sign. And dammit...I wanted to see his cock! I mean, I was forever fantasising about it. And it was as good a time as any, we were alone and together at last. And he had a boo-boo that needed to be taken care of. But there was a much more pressing reason.

Okay, I felt as if it was about time I put out. He was very good at hiding it, but it'd take a complete fool to miss seeing how horny he was all the time. And he was used to sex...lots and lots of sex. And I had no doubt that he expected it from me soon. And then there was the fact that he wasn't exactly gay. And there were a lot of dick crazy girls around...smokin' hot girls who might try and take him away. And I had to be real good to keep him. I know all about the stuff that Stacy talked about, the difference between sex and love and whatnot. But her advice was beginning to seem more and more hypocritical by the day. After all, she was morphing into a completely different person from the girl who said all of those things.

So while he had me in a liplock, I started easing my hand over his crotch. He didn't try and stop me, so I took it as a good sign. I lightly applied pressure and felt his dick swell into a tight, restrained lump. It was only when I reached for the zipper and pulled it down that he broke the kiss and stopped my hand. I thought that maybe I was squeezing a little too roughly. I had just given him a kick to the balls after all.

Brad: "Hey, I was just joking-"

"It's okay, I want to do this."

Brad: "I just that I don't want you to think that I'm forcing you to-"

"I said it once, and I'll say it again. I'm a guy and if you're forcing me into anything, I'll make sure you know it."

Brad: "But...I mean, your parents, won't they-"

He was stalling a whole lot more than I would have expected. 

"What's the matter, Brad? You got a cheeto sized dick to hide or somethin'?"

That earned me a smack and soon the zipper was fully shut again. 

"What's wrong?"

Brad: "Why are you trying to jack me off all of a sudden?"

"Brad, I'm gay and I'm horny. And I was going to do more than jack you off. Don't you want that Boo Boo kissed?"

Brad: "But, the last time we talked about this...you said you weren't sure when you'd be ready for this stuff."

"Well, yeah. But I am ready now."

Brad: "Why so sudden?"

"I just know that I'm ready...come on."

Brad: "I don't think that this is the right time."

Right time?! We were alone in a dark, secluded house. My parents weren't due back for two hours...I'd already went and gotten him hard.

"There isn't such a thing as a right time...this is a good time", I said, a little frustrated at the difficult way he was being.

He looked at me amused. Then he started laughing. I couldn't help it, I started laughing too without even knowing what the hell he found so funny.

"What is so damned funny?"

Brad: "You... what do you mean by there isn't such a thing as the right time, but a good time?"

"Don't you want me like that?"

Brad: "Of course I want you like that, but I don't want any regrets because of it. Don't be in such a hurry to lose your innocence."

"But I really, really want to."

Brad: "Take it from a guy who knows more about sex than you do. How many times have you done it?"

He had me there. I was an utter virgin. And not exactly proud of it either.

"You know I haven't done anything."

Brad: "Right. So just trust me when I tell you, there is such a thing as a right time...and this isn't it."

"Why, we're alone? Mom and dad won't be home until nine-thirty or so. We won't get caught or anything..why isn't it the right time?"

Brad: "Because it just doesn't feel right how you've just changed your mind all of a sudden."

I had to give him credit. He wasn't just another pretty face. The boy had intuition and perceptiveness. I mean, at first I thought that maybe his reluctance was like charity. You know, you say that you don't want to force your lover into anything just because it's the right thing to say and it's expected. But really, inside...you know it's going to happen. I was under the impression that all teenaged boys thought of was sex. Well, mostly sex...I know I had my moments. I expected him to be horny. Okay, scratch that, he was horny...but I never thought that he could have that much willpower. I didn't know if I did. But then again, like he said, I had never been put in a situation where I had to make the choice. 

"If...I were a girl...would you let me? I mean, would it have been different then? It's not cuz I'm a guy or anything...right?"

There was a long awkward pause then. I didn't mean to say that exactly...but I never could seem to hide whatever was bothering me from him. I just have a lot of insecurities. It reminded me of the time in his car, right after we had the opportunity to meet Jessica. I couldn't hide what I felt there either. Gosh, it's so hard when your boyfriend is probably bi.

Brad: "Why'd you think that?"

I tried to drop it by agreeing with him about the "right time" point he had made.

"It's nothing. You're right, maybe this isn't the right time."

He was very persistant...and that's one of the reasons I love him.

Brad: "No, it is something. Why'd you think it'd be different if you were a girl?"

"Brad, you said it yourself...you're probably not gay. And I think you could probably be bi...and I know that most bi guys like either girls or guys more."

There, I expressed one of my fears.

Brad: "It wouldn't make a difference if you were a girl or not. Not to me...and it isn't because of you. It has to do with me. I've been changing...I meant it when I said not to rush to lose your innocence. My first time...well, I don't know if you'd want to hear about it."

It did invoke conflicting emotions in me. I mean, I was curious for sure. But then I didn't even want to think about Brad getting it on with someone else. Even if it was in the past. But eventually I decided to grow a pair and listen to what he had to say. I nodded my approval and braced myself.

Brad: "I was fifteen and it wasn't anything like I thought it'd be. I can't even remember her name, it was a spin the bottle kinda thing at Chad's house...slumber party sorta deal. You remember the guy that Josh slammed on the field at the tryouts?"

"Yeah."

Brad: "It was at his house. Most people won't admit it, because we all grow up believing that the quicker we start fucking, the cooler we'll be. It was over real quick...um like in a few minutes. And it was in a dark, dusty closet. At the end me and the girl, we made a deal. Neither of us got anything much out of it, so we decided to just lie and cover for each other and tell everyone else it was class."

"But, you were fifteen. I'm sixteen...and you did do it afterwards."

Brad: "Yeah, and it did get better afterwards. I was shocked at how hot it was compared to the first time."

"See, so what's the prob-"

Brad: "But then I started to feel, I dunno...empty inside. Before now, all my relationships were kinda based on sex. And by the time I started dating Jessica, the change was already happening. She kinda reminded me of how I used to be. With her, it was always about sex. And she's a very controlling kind of girl, and when she says "now", she means NOW. So it's not because I just wanna cuddle with a guy and fuck around with girls cuz I like girls more. This is all new to me, but I know I like you...a lot. And not just new as in me discovering that I love a guy. It's new cuz...I think this is the first relationship I'm in that's not just based on sex. And yes, I wanna be with you like that some time. But only when you're really ready. "

What a relief! It was one of my deepest fears. I mean, the Jessica thing was just the tip of the iceberg. She was just one girl...but there were others out there, lurking bitches out for one thing and one thing only. Others who I was sure would try something sooner or later. None probably tried anything yet because Jessica and Brad's breakup was real recent. Maybe some sort of girly ethics were involved where they give each other time to possibly trap the guy again, and if they failed or moved on...open hunting season was on once more. And Jessica had apparently moved on. So it was just a matter of time...

There was one more thing though.

"Um...so, how big is it?"

Brad: "Wouldn't you like to know. Haha!"

"I mean, it's done some growing since you were fifteen, right?"

How could it not? With all the sex-cercise it had been getting until recently.

Brad: "Can I trust you to watch but don't touch, hmm?"

Watch but don't touch? Hell no!

I lied.

"Yeah, sure."

Oooh, finally!

Jessie's Point of View

Victoria: "Okay, wow! Brokeback Mountain – gosh it feels like an frickin' eternity! Finally it comes to Calvary!"

And that was where it all turned sour. I decided to go along with Vickie's movie plans after all. I had nothing else to do. And with my parents badgering me to get out of the house for a change. Since they had done me the favor the night before (Eight inches!) I figured I might as well peel off. It was pretty much obvious why they wanted me out. So with a,

"Alright kids, I'm off. Don't do anything I wouldn't!"

I stepped out and into Brad's car. As I expected, Gabriel wanted to be alone with Stacy and managed to convince Vickie to let him drive her Benz without supervision. So the four of us – Josh, Brad, Vickie and myself – had to use Brad's car. I hesitated a little before stepping in. Brad was supposed to be straight to the outside world. And yet, he made sure that Josh and Vickie were seated in the backseat. Which meant that I'd be sitting up front. I chose not to over-analyse and just opened the door and sat down. We all greeted each other and at the sound of Gabriel's impatient honking of the carhorn – we were off. As were pulling up into the car park, we all happened to see the electron advertisement on the signboard. I personally would have loved the opportunity to watch it. But I didn't dare to even walk into a movie place to rent it or buy it on DVD – far less into a public movie-house. Vickie was a lot more excited than I thought was possible. I took a peek in the rear view mirror and I saw Josh silently smirking. The minute we all got out of the car and met up with Gabriel and Stacy,

Victoria: "Okay, wow! Brokeback Mountain – gosh it feels like an frickin' eternity! Finally it comes to Calvary!"

Stacy had seen the advertisment. I think she must have been busy gawking at Gabriel. Anyhow, the moment she learnt of it,

Stacy: "Oh, my God! Hell yeah – do you know how long I've been waiting?! I'm surprised they're going to allow it in Calvary."

I was jumping for joy inside! I'd finally get my chance. If anyone we knew chanced to see us, we could pass it off as the girls' idea. And that us guys had merely gone along with it to satisfy them. We could all act extremely uncomfortable too. Unfortunately, it was all fated never to be. I hear a disgusted grunt. Since it was masculine in nature – there was only one likely source, Gabriel.

Gabriel: "What the hell?! We are not back in Canada, Vickie. I am not going to watch a fag film."

Oh no he just didn't! He did NOT just dis Brokeback Mountain in my presence – he wasn't going to get away with that one! Maybe now Stacy would see that Josh and I were right. That he was a homophobic bigot. I felt a force arise from deep within as I stared up at the electronic signboard. It increased manifold as I took in the image of Heath Leger and Jake Gyllenhall. Why, they seemed to be winking at me! Without thinking – 

"What's so bad about watching Brokeback Mountain, hmm?"

All present seemed shocked. Looking back on it, I understood why. Brad never ever saw me stand up for gay rights ever. Josh was the one I had to hold back from telling off Gabriel – so he was surprised. Stacy knew that I always chose not to enter disputes if it could be avoided. And I had just pretended to be homophobic at Vickie's just the afternoon before. Gabriel looked flabbergasted and unable to articulate his words for about twenty seconds. Which was one Hell of an achievement as he always seemed most ready, willing and able to speak about any and all things gay. Or at least that was what I made it out to be judging by his comments at the cafeteria table. He did eventually speak though.

Gabriel: "What? Jessie, you're a guy. You should know."

Every pair of eyes flitted over to me. I was almost prepared to recant my heresy and beg forgiveness. But once again I looked up at Heath and Jake. 

"I don't see anything wrong with watching it. What's the matter, Gabriel? Afraid you might like it?"

He got all irate – or at least he seemed like it to me. Everyone else was drop dead quiet.

Gabriel: "What the fuck are you trying to imply?"

"Who said I was implying anything? I just asked a simple question and you got all insecure."

Gabriel: "I – I mean..."

He was looking at me in a way that was starting to creep me out and then it happened. My willpower broke. I began to get a little panicky myself. Suddenly it didn't seem like such a hot idea. What the Hell was I thinking? That stupid advertisement! Thankfully, someone from up on high was looking out for me,

Gabriel: "Oh, I see what's going on here."

To my chagrin, he got up close and personal and punched me playfully on the shoulder – in the typical guy manner. Okay, so it was safe to say that I hadn't just up and outted myself to him. Stacy, Josh and Brad looked relieved. If anything I was confused. Seeing the expression on my face, he explained.

Gabriel: "Ah, I see my cousin here has finally gotten to you. It's okay, dude. You ain't gotta hide it and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about."

Apparently he thought I was acting up on Vickie's behalf. She was just so excited about watching Brokeback Mountain – and when he spoke out and said that he wasn't going to go watch a fag film...I spoke up to get some attention from her. He hinted that maybe I was feeling a bit differently towards her since our little "Lover's Quarrel". I took a glance over at Vickie's and sure enough, she was smirking. I had mixed feelings. I sure hoped she didn't think that he was right. But on the other hand, I was a little glad that he came up with an excuse (ridiculous) all on his own, sparing me from the agony of it all. Before things got anymore awkward, Stacy spoke up.

Stacy: "Well, I guess we could always just rent Brokeback Mountain some other time. If the Cineplex agreed to show it, the rental places won't have a problem renting it."

Sure, let her take Gabriel's side! Didn't she see how he acted? Was she so infatuated that she was wearing that many blinders? I reasoned, maybe it would be for the best. Who knows, maybe if I went and watched it with them and let it show how excited I was about seeing it – they'd get suspicions. Especially after my little stand-up stunt with Gabriel. Josh looked a little disappointed, but he quickly adjusted his countenance and we decided to watch some ridiculous romance flick instead. Yup, we had to go along with the girls. If it wasn't a gay romance-drama, it would have to be a straight one. Sigh...


Important Notice

I am sooo sorry for the looong wait. I WILL finish this story. But I have seen instances where a rushed ending just ruins everyone's day. I had several new ideas and I want to plan them out right. I took some time and did that with the fanfic, and so I can say that it will not be late again. It will be worth it in the long run. There was more, but if I added those parts in, it would all seem rushed. I'll leave them for the next chapter. Sigh, once again sorry for the wait. And since there were so many emails and messages during the looooooooong hiatus, thank you all! Feel free to post a message or email at either

birdofflame_587@yahoo.com

or

phoenix_587@yahoo.com