Date: Mon, 28 Oct 2002 20:28:34 -0500 (EST) From: Dave A Subject: Secret Love - part 8 The following story may contain sexual situations between teen-age boys. If this offends you, what are you doing here? If reading this means you're breaking some narrow-minded rule, then don't get caught. I hope you enjoy. A SECRET LOVE Chapter 8 - Understanding Each Other Matt walked over to where his parents and sister were waiting. Before anyone could say anything he blurted out, "I don't wanna talk about it." "Don't worry about it Matt," Mike said. "Even the best players have off days. You'll probably have a career day next time out." "I don't know about that, but it will definitely be better than today." "There ya go," Sharon added. "Come on let's go home." Mike placed his hand on Matt's shoulder. "I'll see you Tuesday at practice." "OK Dad," Matt replied as they headed their separate ways. As they headed for the car, Matt looked around and noticed that Jesse and his parents were already gone. They couldn't get home fast enough for him. It was a good thing that it was only a five minute ride. Back at the house, Matt just wanted to run directly into the woods, but he felt it best to control himself so he waited as patiently as he could while his mom unlocked the door. Once inside he went straight into his room to change clothes. He threw on some old clothes (Mom would kill him if he wore something good into the woods.) and took a look in the mirror to check his hair. `Oh God,' he thought, "I'm turning into Michael.' He left the mirror behind and headed for the back door. "Where are you going?" Sharon's voice interrupted his exodus. Thinking quickly, Matt said, "I need to take a walk, clear my head." "Well, I was going to make some lunch young man." `Young man - oh boy,' he thought as he said, "I'm not really hungry right now." Sharon just stood there and looked at him for a second. If her little boy wasn't so level-headed, she might have protested. Seeing him becoming impatient, she waved her hand at him as she said, "Go, go. But be home for dinner later." "Thanks, Mom." Matt bolted out the door and sprinted across the back yard. Sharon looked out the kitchen window and just shook her head. `What is that boy up to?' she wondered. Matt darted through the gap in the trees and flew down the path towards "their spot," his feet barely touching the ground. He arrived at the fallen tree to find the tree, the stream and nothing else. He had been sure that Jesse would be there waiting, after all, they had left ahead of him. Matt considered going up to Jesse's house, but thought better of it. They needed to talk and they needed privacy. They might not get that around Jim and Anne. Instead he walked out onto the log and straddled it in a position where he could see Jesse coming. * * * * * * * * * * The Edgell's van drove out to the end of entry road to the ball field and made a left. Problem is, home was to the right. "Where we going?" Jesse asked. "I've got a stop to make before we go home," Jim answered. "It shouldn't take long." "Couldn't you take me and Mom home first?" Jesse wasn't counting on this detour. Matt was expecting him. "Don't have time, sport," Jim replied. "It's about a job and I'm already running late." "The game ran longer than we expected, honey," Anne added. Jesse slumped back in his seat. Well, this was just great. Matt would think he blew him off. This wasn't the best way to start fixing things. He wanted to tell them that he had to meet Matt, but his dad was finally getting back to normal and he didn't want to give him any reason to get suspicious. They drove into town, where Jim parked at the city building. "It's going to get hot in the car," Jim stated plainly. "Why don't you two take a walk down to the riverfront and I'll come down and find you when I'm done?" "C'mon Jesse," Anne prodded. Jesse obliged and got out of the van. As they headed toward the river, Jim went into the building for his meeting. The downtown area was much like most small cities. Some office buildings, a few restaurants and a number of vacant buildings - former theatres and department stores rendered obsolete by the creation of the shopping mall. Jesse noticed nothing of his surroundings; his head was somewhere else. "You had a good game today, Jesse." "Huh?" Jesse had been in a daze thinking about Matt sitting in the woods waiting. "I said, you had a good game today," Anne repeated. "Where is your head?" "I dunno. I wish we had won. Plus I feel bad for Matty having such a bad day." "Matty is it? Well, I'm sure he's had bad days before. He seems like he can handle it." `Oh my God,' Jesse thought. `I called him Matty in front of Mom. I hope she doesn't read anything into that.' "That's what his sister calls him. I guess I just picked it up from her." Anne didn't say anything. She just ruffled Jesse's hair and took hold of his hand. She lifted it up and gave it a brief squeeze before letting it go. Jesse looked up at her and Anne managed to fight back a tear. She didn't want him to know what she was thinking. Not yet at least, because she could be wrong. She hadn't seen the two of them together much, they were always off somewhere, but every so often she caught them looking at each other in a way that resembled lovers more than friends. "Check it out, Mom," Jesse said. "What...." It was Anne's turn to be pulled out of a daze. Jesse was pointing and Anne turned her gaze in the direction he indicated. They had gotten close enough to see the river. Neither had been down here yet and they were both taken aback. There was a large open air amphitheater with a suspension bridge stretching over the river in the background. It was quite a contrast to the bleak looking downtown area. Jesse ran ahead as Anne watched a small boat bob up and down on the wake of passing barge. For the time being she had forgotten about her worries about her son and husband. Jesse too had lost his worries. For just a moment he forgot that Matt was probably sitting in the woods thinking he had been stood up. It was nearly forty-five minutes before Jim showed up with the van and by the end Jesse was nearly losing his mind. At the sound of the horn, Jesse rushed up to the vehicle. He had to get home NOW! Jesse was in the back seat and buckled up by the time his mom opened the passenger door. "It looks good," Jim proclaimed. "Really! That's great!" "Yeah, I won't be at the same level I had been at in Florida, but at least I won't be at the bottom. I don't actually have the job yet, but the chief seems to think it's a sure thing." "Cool, dad." Jesse would be glad to see dad back to work. He wouldn't be home so much. Jesse sat quietly in the back seat while his parents discussed Jim's probable new job. All he could think about was Matt. He hoped Matt wouldn't get mad about him being late. They didn't need to start this conversation off on the wrong foot. As they neared home he decided to call Matt to see if he had given up and gone home. Once in the house he went straight for the phone. Sharon picked up the phone and he asked for Matt. Jesse listened as she described the way Matt had taken off for a walk in the woods. "Thanks Mrs. Dav...Sharon, bye," Jesse uttered and hung up. "Matt's out in the woods," he said to his parents. "I think I know where to find him. Can I go out for a while?" "You really ought to have some lunch," Anne began, but Jim cut her off. "Go on. Your mom and I have some things to talk about anyway. But, go change clothes first." "Thanks, Dad," Jesse exclaimed as he bolted upstairs to his room. He had completely forgotten that he was still wearing his uniform. * * * * * * * * * Matt sat on the log swinging his legs nervously. He stood up so he could see further down the path that Jesse would follow - still no sign. He sat back down. 'Where was he? Jesse said to meet him here and he wasn't showing. Was this just some cruel joke?' Thoughts flowed through Matt's head and he began to become angry. Jesse had decided to kick him when he was down. He was sure of it. He stood up again and still saw nothing. Deflated, Matt plunked back down and tried futilely to fight back tears. First, there was just one then he pulled in a ragged breath and they began to flow freely. He banged a fist against the log, hard enough to break the skin, but he didn't even feel the pain or notice the blood that ran down to his wrist. Slowly, Matt regained his composure and stood up again to find no one heading in his direction. Humiliated and enraged, he decided to go up to the house. `The hell with Jim and Anne being there,' he thought. `Jesse was gonna hear just how he felt.' He made his way out of the woods and stormed up the street to Jesse's house. He took the steps to the front porch two at a time and banged angrily on the front door. As he stood waiting he noticed the smear of blood left on the door from the gash on his hand that had still not quite clotted. He inspected his injury to find it wasn't too bad, but there was a small piece of bark lodged in it. He picked the small chunk of wood out of his hand and looked back up to the door - no answer yet. He began to glance around himself and now realized that the van was not there. They hadn't come straight home. Matt smacked his palm against his forehead. `What an idiot!' He quickly realized that Jesse probably had no idea that they weren't headed home when they left the game. He licked his good hand and wiped at the blood stain on the door. When that didn't take care of it, he lifted his shirt and used that to wipe it clean. The evidence removed, he headed immediately back into the woods. He didn't want Jesse to know about this. He realized just how irate his actions had been. Not just today, but yesterday too. He was scared of himself and taking it out on the one person who understood him - and loved him. He had to come to terms with his fears and had no real idea how to do this. He arrived back at "their spot" and straddled the fallen tree to wait. After a few minutes he lay back on the log and closed his against the bright sun cutting through the trees. Lost in thought, Matt drifted into a light sleep. * * * * * * * * * * Jesse rushed eagerly into the tree cover and hurried down the path keeping his eyes on the place where he expected to see Matt. From his vantage point it appeared that there was no one there but he continued towards "their spot." As he reached the stream, he found out why he hadn't seen Matt as he approached. There was his angel, stretched out on the fallen tree and apparently asleep. Jesse just stood there and admired the vision in front of him. Matt's hands were laced behind his head and a beam of sunlight cutting through the trees came to rest on top his head, bringing out the blond highlights in his light brown hair. His serene face was so beautiful. That perfectly shaped mouth was silently calling out for Jesse to plant a kiss on those luscious lips. As Jesse took a step forward onto the log, he noticed for the first time just how long Matt's eyelashes were and his eyebrows were just perfect, slightly arched and tapering off at the outer edges. Jesse couldn't believe that there was something new to discover in that face he had looked at so often and for so long. It made him realize that there was so much more for them both to discover in each other. Without taking his eyes off Matt's face, Jesse crouched down at Matt's feet. Jesse reached down to grab Matt's left foot which was crossed over his right ankle. He took hold of it and gave it a gentle shake. Startled, Matt lost his balance as he quickly sat up. He quickly brought his left hand down to grab a hold of the log, but it was too late, he was going to roll off the other side. He managed to get his feet down first and landed with a splash in water slightly more than ankle deep. "FUCK!" "Oh shit," Jesse said as he moved over to where Matt was now standing. "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean to scare you," he finished as he tried desperately to fight off the giggles that were rising in his throat. "Oh yeah, real fuckin funny," Matt started to say with a perturbed edge in his voice. Then he looked up at Jesse's face and that beautiful smile lit up his world making him forget that his feet were soaked through. Matt started to laugh himself as he leaned his head against Jesse's bent knees. Without looking, Jesse reached down and placed each of his hands on Matt's wrapping his fingers around to the palms. As he lifted Matt's hands, his head came up and their eyes met earnestly. Jesse leaned in placed his lips gently on the ones he had been longing for only moments ago. They kissed for only a few seconds without ever parting their lips, but everything either needed to know could be found in that moment. They shouldn't be fighting with each other. They shouldn't be mad at each other. They were meant to make each other happy. As Jesse pulled back smiling contentedly, Matt said, "Help me out of here." Jesse stood up, never letting go of Matt's hands. Matt placed one foot between Jesse's and pulled himself back up onto the log. Somehow they managed to not fall off the other side and ended up standing there with their bodies pressed together and their fingers laced together. After a few moments Matt looked down into his lover's eyes. "Jess, I'm so sorry," was all he managed before the first tear fell from the corner of his eye. Jesse wrapped his arms around Matt's waist and pressed his head against chest. He could hear his lover's heart going a mile a minute. "I know you are Matty. Please don't cry. I know you are and so am I, but we better quit this before someone sees us out here." Jesse had come to realize that Matt had a strong need to keep this quiet, at least for now. Not that he wanted to be "out," but other than his father he wasn't really worried about it. He felt sure his mother would accept it and Matt was the only other person who held any real importance in his life. For Matt, however, this was home. He had a lot more to lose. They broke their embrace and sat down facing each other. Matt had only shed a half-dozen tears. "I wasn't even thinking that," he said with an accusatory tone. "I know you weren't babe. But at some point you would and that's OK. I just want you know that I think about it too. I understand that the idea of getting caught makes you nervous. I may not worry about it as much as you, but I don't want it to happen either." Matt took in what he was hearing and thought briefly about his reply. "I know you don't. I couldn't imagine you wanting to hurt or embarrass me, but I'm so worried we're going to slip up." Matt hung his head between his knees. He hated this feeling. He'd never really been afraid in his life, but this scared the hell out of him. Jesse just sat back and waited. He felt like Matt had more to say and didn't want to interrupt him. When Matt finally lifted his head, he said, "I am truly sorry for the way I've been acting. That's not who I am, not even close. I just don't know how long I can go on living in fear." Jesse took that as his cue. "You can't baby. We have to find a way to stop being afraid." "How?" Matt interrupted. "By being careful. This has all been moving so quickly and we've taken some chances we shouldn't. So far we've been lucky, but if we keep it up........" "We'll get busted," Matt finished Jesse's thought. "That night at your house was way too close." "Yesterday morning was bad too. Angie almost came downstairs while we were both naked and in bed. After that, you changed." "I said I was sorry," Matt half-whined, half-protested. Jesse scooted forward and took one of Matt's hands with both of his. "I know and I'm not complaining or throwing it up in your face. I love you and I wouldn't do that." Jesse waited to see if Matt had anything to say. Matt simply placed his free hand over Jesse's and looked into his eyes. Jesse got the message - Matt wanted him to finish his thought. Jesse took a deep breath and started where he left off. "If you keep doing that, it's going to make someone suspicious. Angie kept asking me what was wrong with you and I didn't know what to say. I think we need to have some rules." "Rules? Like what?" "Like no sex unless we're someplace where we both feel safe. That means if you don't, you say so and I just have to accept it. Same goes for you if I don't." "OK." "No more sleeping naked anymore either." "Man, this sucks. I really like having you close to me." "I do too, but I think it's OK for us to share a bed on sleepovers. A lot of friends do that, just not naked." "Yeah, I guess, but I hate that we have to be so limited." "Me too, but look at it this way. What if we were straight? There's no way we would be able to have sleepovers with girls. We'd have to sneak around, just like we are now." "You're right and you're beautiful," Matt closed the conversation as he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Jesse's lips. They released hands and embraced each other. "I love you, Jess." "I love you too, Matt." I know it's a little short, but it feels like a good place to stop. Hopefully, Chapter 9 won't be far behind.