Here I am thinking about this boy that I've been friends with since I was a kid and he might die. I'm in the waiting room. My heart is racing. It's been almost 30 minutes and we haven't heard anything from the medical professionals on the ship. Supposedly the space station's physician is one of the best but I just can't help thinking the worst. We are in space. What if Dre needs something that he can't get?
Bambi is standing with Chyna in the waiting room. Greg is on a bench with Jax leaning against a vending machine. Jae Jae and Kaysha are next to me. They are comforting me. It's nice that everyone showed up. I'm not sure if they are showing up to support Dre...someone they barely talk to or if they are showing up to support me. Honestly I have to admit I would have thought the members of the Dollhouse would be too selfish to be here, but they've been waiting just like I am.
Even with the show of support it is so quiet. No one knows if Dre is going to make it out of the surgery room alive. No one knows if he is going to make it after his encounter with Jax.
And what's awkward is that no one talks about it. That is until Dre's girlfriend Daniella walks into the waiting room. She is crying.
“Where is he? Can I see him? Where is he?”
I don't know who told her about Dre's situation. I don't care. Honestly right now Daniella is the last person I want to see.
Jae Jae and Kaysha give me a look. If it weren't for them I don't know where I would be right now. They've been by my side helping me through all of this. Daniella being here is more of an annoyance than anything.
I ignore her. Kaysha doesn't. Kaysha crosses her arms and smiles at Daniella.
“He was a
little drunk. He got into a fight with someone. He's in surgery
Jax is across the room. He hasn't said a word. He looks like he's in a deep thought. He's just staring at the floor of the waiting room. He's nervous. He has a reason to be. He slammed Dre hard. Dre was bleeding crazy. The medics took forever to come get Dre. What if he lost too much blood? He wasn't breathing. What if Dre was going to die?
I feel bad for him but I can't comfort him right now because honestly I feel worse for Dre. That is my main concern right about now.
“Is he going to make it?” Daniella asks.
doing what they can...” Jae Jae responds to her, “We are
understand how this happens,” Daniella says looking at me,
“Mario---you know Dre. He's not a violent person. That just
sounds unlike him...”
“Did you miss the part about him being under the influence?” I ask her.
I'm sharp with my words. I don't care at that moment.
Daniella rolls her
eyes, “Dre doesn't drink.”
“That shows how much you really knew Dre,” I tell Daniella at that moment, “He does drink from time to time when he was is really stressed. And when he does drink...he drinks heavy.”
“Mario, c`mon,” Kaysha warns me.
She's right. I take a few deep breaths. Daniella's face when I replied is priceless. I have to admit I kind of enjoy it at that moment.
“I think we'd all like to know what the fuck that boy was going off about,” Bambi states.
Kaysha looks at me.
I look at Kaysha. I look at Jax. Jax looks at me. The three of us
knows what happened in that room. I don't know how much they are
going to tell. Jax must have heard what Dre was saying. Dre was
jealous about Jax and me. Someone led him to believe that we were
having sex with one another. I don't know who at this moment.
There are so many strange things going on. Who hyped Dre up with lies? How the hell do I explain this to his girlfriend without dragging him out of the closet?
Jax speaks up at
that moment, “Listen, it was my fault.”
Greg looks at him, “No it wasn't. Jax c`mon. That dude was looking for trouble for the moment I opened the door for him. It wasn't your damn fault man.”
“It was,” Jax replies to him, “He was drunk and saying some off the wall things. Someone told him some...things...some things that charged him up.”
“Sounds like Pia,” Bambi adds in.
I had to agree with Bambi right now but I have to admit. The shit does sound like Pia.
offended and when he came at me I reacted in a way I shouldn't
“What kind of things?” Greg asks.
Jax looks at me. I'm praying at that moment he doesn't out Dre. Dre was accusing Jax and I of sleeping together. That was why he attacked Jax.
Jax seems to be
reading right off of me because he just sighs and shakes his head,
“It doesn't matter...”
matter?” Daniella asks, “It doesn't matter? How can you
say it doesn't matter. You people are FUCKING bullies. I've heard
about you. The whole SHIP has. How the fuck do you feel attacking a
drunk guy. Is this what you guys do for entertainment?”
“Hold the fuck on, don't come at Jax like that,” I say standing up at that moment and facing Daniella.
I'm pissed. She's coming in here pointing fingers.
“Wow. Really I'd expect you to stand up for Dre. Isn't he like your best friend?” Daniella asks me.
overweight bitch,” Bambi corners her at that moment, “No
one cares about your opinion. If we were monsters we wouldn't be
here waiting to see if your boyfriend is ok or not. Would
“Fuck you people,” Daniella states, “You don't care about him.”
“How FUCKING dare you!” I am screaming out.
At that moment I'm screaming in Daniella's face. My emotions are high. I don't know how hyped I am until I feel Jax come up from behind me. He grabs me, literally lifting me up off the ground. Daniella continues screaming at me. I'm screaming at Daniella. It doesn't matter what we are saying to each other. Everyone is talking at one time to each other.
Jax grabs me and takes me down the hall away from everyone else.
“Come on...we are going to go cool down,” Jax tells me.
“You're not fine. We need to cool down. We've both been drinking. Tensions are high. Let's go to the cafeteria or something for a while.”
I don't have much choice in following Jax to the cafeteria. He is manhandling me. I'm beyond upset. I can't believe Daniella came in there and told us that no one cared about Dre. I knew him way before her. I spent way more time with her than she did. She was so FUCKING blind to the fact that Dre and I were intimate and every part of me actually wanted to just open my mouth and tell her everything. I wanted to tell her what her man has really been doing behind her back.
I have to cool down and I know it though. Luckily Jax sits me in the empty cafeteria. It's late at night and the lights are off everywhere. Everyone is pretty much in their dorms. Jax leaves me for a minute and returns with some food and drinks from a vending machine.
“Here...eat...” Jax tells me.
“I'm not hungry man.”
“Eat. Please. You need to soak up some of that alcohol,” Jax tells me and when I'm still hesitating he picks up some chips, “Don't make me hand feed you, because I'll do it...”
I grab the chips out of his hands and begin to eat on the reluctantly. I am just shaking my head and bouncing my leg. I want to go back in that room and curse Daniella out. I can't believe that I'm so upset.
“I didn't mean to do what I did to Dre...” Jax states.
“Jax. C`mon. I wasn't born yesterday. I know you didn't mean for what happened to happen.”
“He's...lucky. To have you.”
I'm not sure what Jax is saying when he first says it. Maybe it's my nerves that makes me miss it. It isn't until I look up and see Jax staring down at me. Jax is so fucking sexy. His even lips are sucked in. His eyes stare intently at me in the break room. The star themed lunch room seems to make it really feel like were are just floating in the middle of no where in this lunch room.
“He doesn't have me...” I respond.
“Wait...so the two of you aren't.”
“We were intimate yes, but no we aren't in a relationship,” I explain, “Not to me at least. That's not what I think a relationship is like.”
“That's usually how it is with two guys, huh?” Jax asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Just sex. You know. And then you have your girlfriend to hide the fact? That must be how it usually is with gay guys huh?”
I'm shocked Jax is finally addressing the fact that I'm gay. He's actually asking questions. Looking up at him I can tell he's being gentle but still forward with his questions. I mean I'm looking at this boy sit across from me in a toga that is barely there and he's comfortable enough now with me to talk about gay stuff. I feel like we must have definitely come a long way with our friendship.
I shrug at that moment, “I'm not expert in the shit. You're probably right. That's probably how it is. That's not how I want it to be though. I liked Dre. I still do. Not going to lie. We were best friends. The best of friends and then one day...things just changed.”
“You really want to know?”
Jax shrugs and laughs, “I mean I'm curious. I want to know why the hell I was attacked...”
I smirk. I can tell he's trying to break the ice here. He must realize the cold awkwardness that is between us from time to time. He must realize that the awkwardness is here in this room right now.
After forcing a
smile I answer, “I honestly was young. I always knew I
was...different. But it wasn't until one day Dre just grabs me. He
just sticks his tongue down my throat. He just throws me on the wall
and he goes down on me. I'd seen it in porns before, but I didn't
know what was happening you know? And the feeling. It was just cra
“He took your virginity?”
“Oh hell yeah,” I respond shaking, “I nutted. Or at least I think I did. Looking back I don't remember anything coming out.”
“Maybe...he. You know...”
“No, he didn't swallow it,” I respond at that moment, “I just don't think I was producing anything back then. Either way I had the orgasm. And you know back then I didn't know I was gay. It wasn't until Dre started to get a little more interested in girls. I tried to pretend like I was as well but all the while I just wanted it to keep being us. It never was just us though. So that's what it became. We became the DL best friends who fooled around with each other.”
Jax sighs, “That's crazy man.”
“I dunno,” Jax shrugs and then just leans back at little bit thinking, “So...I mean did that satisfy you? You know?”
“The sex was good...yeah...”
“No. I mean...” Jax stops and leans back in again, “How do I say it? Were you ok with just sex? Were you satisfied? You know? I mean didn't you want more at some point...especially when you get older. When you see guys and girls dating?”
“Like you said. That's how gay relationships are.”
Jax shakes his head and sighs.
“That's fucking sad man. You shouldn't put up with that. I mean the guy has a girlfriend and he storms in there acting possessive because he thinks you and I are fucking?”
I laugh, “Pretty much. Sounds like Dre.”
“And you're ok with that?” Jax asks.
“I'm used to it...”
Jax shakes his head over and over as though listening to something he can't believe, “For the first time ever you sound stupid man.”
“I mean everyone acts stupid from time to time. Trust me. TRUST me. I'm the kind of doing stupid things. For some reason I just always put you above that. For some reason I just thought you would be the one to tell someone not to be stupid for a guy.”
“What choice do I have? We are DL. We have to play our roles like Dre says...”
“Fuck what Dre says!” Jax states.
I am not expecting the passion out of Jax. I'm no where near expecting it. I've never had someone to really talk to about the Dre situation. I guess Kaysha and Jae Jae would have been comfortable talking about it. I just never really got into as much detail with them. I just never wanted to burden them about it. Now that Jax was asking though it just is proving how stupid I've been.
“You love him?” Jax asks me.
The question is serious. I'm sitting at that table and I'm looking at Jax. I don't know how to respond to it. I don't know who to compare Dre to...except Jax. I think about Jax all the time. I don't really think about Dre all the time. My heart races when I'm around Jax. It doesn't really race when I'm around Dre.
So do I love Dre?
Jax takes a look sip of his drink at that moment and slams it on the table, “Well there you go! There's your answer. Cut that dude off. He seems sneaky. Don't forget how I first met you guys. He's dating a female but wants to be possessive of you. Why do you need him? You're fine as fuck, smart, nice and easy to get along with. I mean I'm sorry he's in the hospital right now but I have to be honest. Why do you need him? I don't see a reason.”
He just told me I was fine as fuck. Jax...just told me I was fine as fuck. I don't think he notices it because he's drinking again. It just slipped out of his mouth and he didn't catch it.
“Did you just
say that I was fine as fuck?”
Jax chokes on his drink a little bit at that moment. He starts coughing.
didn't I? Well I mean I'm not a hater. I'm being honest,” Jax
responds and shrugs a little bit, “You look good. Damn it.
You don't need him.”
He smiles at me and laughs probably trying to not make this moment as intense as possible. He's trying to lighten the mood but this time I don't smile with him. I don't force a laugh. This time I stare at him as hard as I can. Maybe this time I want the mood to be serious. Maybe this time I don't want to crack a joke.
I am leaning in at that moment.
“So what options do I have?”
Jax's smile is wiped
off his face. I can see his chest expand deeply at that moment. I'm
leaning so close to him. I'm damn near reaching over the cafeteria
table to him. He doesn't pull back. Jax doesn't run. He stays right
there. His lips tighten. He does the biting of his lower lip that
drives me crazy. He leans over...slightly. He puts his elbows on
He parts his mouths and whispers to me in this tone that has so many deep layers to it, “Mario...you can have any man that you want.”
“I know so. I'm sure of it. You can have... ANY man you want.”
I'm not going to let this moment slip past like the many ones that we've had before. I had to do it. I had to take the chance. Maybe he was suggesting something. Maybe it was my fucking imagination. I was going to find out now.
So I lean in. I lean in and I press my lips hard against his. He doesn't surprise it. At that moment he pulls back slightly and I'm freaking the fuck out when he pulls back so far that our lips are touching anymore.
He pulls back and he's just staring at me for a second.
“Um...” he says, “What the fuck---”
He's shocked by me.
I say at that moment getting up from that table, “I didn't mean
to do that! Jax yo...I swear I didn't mean to do that. I don't know
what came over me. Fuck you probably hate me right now. DAMN I'm a
fucking dumb ass.”
I can't stay at this table anymore. I can't stay in this space station anymore. Right now I had to leave. Maybe they can just put me in a shuttle and ship my ass off like Kal-El or something. I could care less at that moment. I'm beyond embarrassed.
I can't believe I went for it! I can't believe I ruined a fucking great friendship because I'm imagining that someone who CLEARLY isn't interested in me.
Jax is straight and even if he wasn't he was way BEYOND my level. What the fuck was I thinking? I get up and I am ready to run. I'm ready to book it out of the cafeteria.
Then I feel an arm.
I'm not imagining it.
I turn and see Jax stopping me, “Wait. I didn't get to finish. I meant to say, 'What the fuck took you so long?'”
This time Jax doesn't let me finish my thought. Jax grabs me at that moment and he kisses me. He kisses me hard. His tongue is deep in throat. He massages the back of my throat at that moment. He's kissing me aggressively. He wants this. I'm not imagining it.
It's happening. Jax is fucking kissing me.
“Oh fuck yes I've been waiting since the day I met you for this to happen,” Jax reassures me, “Fuck this cafeteria is so fucking dirty and you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT? Fuck it!”
Jax picks me up. He lays me down on the cafeteria table. Jax leans over the cafeteria and shoves his tongue down my throat again. As he kisses he slides me to the end of the table. He puts his massive thighs in between mine to separate them. He keeps them there. He spreads my thighs open. He aggressively begins to pull down my pants.
I pant at that moment. I still can't believe this is happening. I can't believe JAX is about to have sex with me. The wait just seems all the more worth it when Jax takes a step back.
too dirty? Why'd you stop?”
I wonder if his OCD is kicking in.
But then I'm wrong. Jax takes off his toga. He drops it to the floor. It DEFINITELY isn't something with a cleanliness disorder would ever do. For right now he's seemed to throw that all out of the window. Right now I'm staring at Jax and this man IS that Greek god.
His body is like a
statue. Throbbing veins run through carved muscle. A slim waist
exposes a V shaped area that leads to a happy trail right into his
crotch. His dick is hard. He has a huge head on his dick. It's
already dripping with precum.
He looks down at it. He grabs it at that moment. He squeezes it tight. He pulls at it almost showing me how hard I've made him. Then he looks at me...tempting me with his eyes.
“I want to do
something I've never done to anyone in my life...”
Jax proves that he can show me better than he can tell me. He comes over to me and begins to the underwear that I have on. He rolls up my toga until it is wrapped around my waist. A cold breeze flickers against my asshole. Jax leans over to me and begins to lick me. His tongue enters my asshole and at that moment I'm shocked. Jax...MR. CLEAN and MR. PERFECT was eating me out right now. He wasn't only eating me out. Jax was going in!
His tongue enters my asshole. Jax starts tugging deep into me. He is fucking me with his tongue. He's putting his long tongue deeper and deeper into me. I'm moaning.
“It tastes so good,” he is grunting from the edge of the table.
My legs are flailing
in the air. I look up at the ceiling of the cafeteria. Shit. The
stars could move right now if they wanted to. Jax swaps out his
tongue for a finger for second. After a finger he puts in two
“Fuck it's so good.”
“I want to fuck you so bad right now...but I'm going to wait...you're more important than just a fuck...”
Dre never said those words to me. The first time Dre and I kissed was the very first time we fucked. The idea that Jax was sitting here letting me know that he didn't want to fuck me right now while he dick was pulsating and my asshole was blowing kisses at him seemed more complex than the universe. All of a sudden I am HYPNOTIZED even more by the fact that he is eating me out.
My dick begins to
pulsate as he starts licking me again. He spreads my cheeks. He
gets excited when he can't get in there enough.
Then he does something I don't expect. He lays down right on the floor.
floor is filthy...”
“I don't give a fuck about that bullshit when I'm with you. I want you to come sit on my face...” Jax tells me looking up from the floor.
I don't hesitate.
I'm riding his face, squatting over him. My asshole is directly on his tongue. I lower myself over and over. I can see Jax jerking his dick. This is turning him on. I can tell by how he is stroking his dick so hard at that moment. I can't help but to start stroking mine as well.
Somewhere between the moaning and his tongue lashing at my prostate I begin to nut. The moan fills the cafeteria halls.
And Jax nuts right next to me.
Jax grabs me at that moment. He pulls me down to the floor. We are laying on a filthy floor covered in each other's semen. The funny thing about it is Jax doesn't seem to give a fuck about it either.
Jax holding me at that moment it just seems so right. There is no where in the universe I'd rather be right now than in his arms and he pulls me even closer. He doesn't seem to care about the nut sticking us together. He doesn't care about the dirt. He doesn't care about any of the weird shit he used to care about before. Right now Jax is just in this moment.
He leans over to me
and kisses me again, “So...yeah I mean I can give you some time
to weigh your options...”
He must be joking.
“I'll take whatever fucking OPTION involves you,” I respond.
He laughs a little bit, “I was hoping you'd say that...”
We are disturbed at that moment. Footsteps.
I say at that moment.
Jax doesn't even have the chance to react. Someone is running towards the cafeteria. My heart stops. I REALLY need to stop having sex in public places.
just me,” Jae Jae states, “I've been looking
I sigh relief at that moment. Jax is still looking a little bit weird having just been caught having sex and still being naked. Jae Jae is beyond respectful though. Once he sees what we are doing he immediately starts looking up at the cafeteria ceiling.
“He's cool,” I let Jax know, “He knows about me.”
Jae Jae nods, “Yeah I'm the homie. Still. I have to let you guys know that Dre...he's up...”
Jax, Jae Jae and I
head back to the medical wing. When I get to the room the other are
still in the waiting room. They are talking to Mia LaPerla. She
isn't alone. She has what looks like security with her. For a
moment I'm scared for Jax. Are they here to arrest Jax? What the
“What's happening here?”
The Captain looks over at me at that moment, “Your name is Mario Kane right?”
“What's happening here?” I ask again.
Captain Laperla is
pushy, “Answer my question.”
“You friends with the young man who had the accident?” Captain LaPerla asks me.
Is he ok?”
“He's fine. The doctors were able to stop the bleeding. He's also be detoxed.”
“And he's also under arrest,” Captain LaPerla adds, “He's a stowaway.”
Fuck. Just at that moment I realize what I've forgotten. Dre shouldn't be on this ship. He snuck on board. Jae Jae smuggled him on board. Jae Jae looks at me. I look at Jae Jae. I can see the fear in his eyes at that moment. I don't blame him.
“Wait...he snuck on the space station?” Greg asks at that moment, “What part of the game is that?”
Captain Laperla isn't as impressed as Greg, “These are some serious criminal charges. He didn't sneak on a train. This is a space station. Dre will be locked up for the remainder of the trip and I'll make sure he's charged as an adult when we get back to Earth.”
“What he's just a teenager who made a stupid ass mistake,” I argue, “You can't lock him up.
“Why can't I?
We have the same regulations as airplanes if not even stricter.
Sneaking on a space shuttle is a federal offense. Now...did you know
anything about how Dre was able to get on this ship Mario?”
She wants me to snitch out Jae Jae. That is EXACTLY what she is asking me right now.
Daniella is crying almost immediatley when she hears what Captain LaPerla says. A part of me wants to cry too. What the fuck?
I can't believe Dre is going to be detained for the rest of the trip. I can't believe this is happening right now. It could be years before Dre is let out. What the fuck? I'm breathing heavy right now because I'm realizing how heavy this shit is. I'm shocked when I feel Jax behind me putting his hand on my shoulder. It's clear he's trying to show me strength. Right now I need it.
“I have no idea,” I respond.
lying to me...now are you?” Captain Laperla states, “Because
if you are...you can be charged with obstruction of justice.”
I don't care. There's no way I'm snitching.
I respond looking away, “Can we at least say goodbye to Dre
before you lock him up?”
“You have 10 minutes...”
Daniella and I are let in the room. Dre is laying on the medic table. He looks weak. I notice the cuffs. He is cuffed to the medic table like a common prisoner. Daniella isn't helping. As soon as she sees this she busts into fucking tears. I really can't fucking stand her.
“Daniella can you wait outside?” Dre asks.
I'm so thankful when he says that.
Daniella just stares at him shocked, “Wait what?”
“I just need a minute with my best friend.”
Daniella clearly is pissed about it. She clearly is more than upset. She takes her sobs and listens to him though. I can hear her crying all the way until she leaves the room.
Dre has a smile on his face when I look at him, “I finally got me a bracelet like the rich boys.”
“What the hell were you thinking?” I ask Dre at that moment.
“I really wanted to be in space with you?” Dre laughs as though it's funny and raises his cuffs.
“I'm not talking about sneaking on board,” I say at that moment, “I'm talking about you fighting Jax. Don't you think that you should have been keeping a low profile.”
“You know I
get loco over you,” Dre laughs, “You're right though.
Just after Greg told me about the two of you...I lost
I wasn't hearing this right.
sought me out and out of nowhere told me about Jax and you having
sex. I couldn't take that shit man. It literally drove me fucking
crazy,” Dre explains at that moment.
“Why the fuck would Greg tell you that?”
“So it's a lie?” Dre asks me, “You two aren't fucking? Damn...I really fucked up...”
“It's a lie right?” Dre immediately asks me when I hesitate.
“At that time
we weren't fucking but...”
“I've been getting operated on for less than two hours,” Dre states, “You mean to tell me...you...JUST FUCKED HIM in two hours?”
Dre is pissed. I've never seen him like this. A part of me feels like shit. I know I shouldn't. I am trying to think about all the things that Jax told me. Dre didn't appreciate me when he had me. He didn't act like he did at least. I was just his DL lover or whatever. Now all of a sudden I found someone that I like he's getting jealous? What the fuck was this about?
I want to argue with him but I see him on this table looking so fragile so I just try to calm him down instead.
“Can we please talk like adults about this?” I ask him.
“GET THE FUCK
Dre is serious. He's dead serious. He's looking at me at that moment like he hates me. He's looking at me like I don't mean a fucking thing to him.
And it hurts.
“Where the FUCK is Greg?” I'm asking Bambi.
“In the bathroom...why?” Bambi asks me.
I ignore her. I
ignore everyone. I head down the hallway at that moment. All this
is because of Greg. Why the fuck would Greg tell Dre that me and Jax
were having sex when we weren't? Why the fuck was Greg trying to
It's at that moment I realize how much drama this Dollhouse really is? Jax was right. I should never tried to be friends with these people. It wasn't just Pia. It wasn't just Bambi. Now it's Greg who is being SHADY as fuck too.
I head to the bathroom and open the door.
There are voices. They don't must not hear me walking in the bathroom. I realize at that moment that Greg isn't alone. He's talking to someone. I slowly hold the door open when I realize who the other person is.
“I have to tell you something,” the voice says.
Greg asks at that moment, “What could you possibly have to tell
“I did something. I slept with Mario...”
I'm shocked that Jax is telling Greg about this. I mean I knew they were best friends. I knew they were super close but I didn't think Jax would run and tell Greg about it as soon as it happened. Then again I could imagine how excited I would be to tell Kaysha and Jae Jae that I finally got it in with Jax. Only thing Kaysha and Jae Jae already knew about me.
That didn't seem like it was the case with Greg. Or was it? Did Greg know that Jax was possibly interested in men.
“Wait...you're joking right?” Greg says to Jax.
His voice is heavy with...anger. I'm not imagining it. He's pissed the fuck off. I mean I would have thought if Greg was some sort of homophobic guy he would be angry, but that wasn't what was happening right now. Greg was PISSED.
He was actually...angry.
What the fuck was going on?
Jax sighs almost as though it's hurting him a little to explain this, “I never meant to hurt you. It's just...me and Mario have just been getting close. And I've just been really into him. And it just...happened...”
What the fuck!
Greg solidifies it at that moment, “Wait..are you trying to sit here and justify why you CHEATED on me?”
Greg and Jax were in a relationship.
To read the next chapter in advance go to www.crushedcrown.com