I find Kaysha in the Lab area. She's seems to just gotten an exam. As I approach her I can tell the tension. She doesn't know what I am approaching her for but she is damn sure about to fucking find out.
“Hey friend,” I say putting on the fakest smile that I can.
She must think it's real because she actually smiles back at that moment.
“Oh my god. Hey.”
“Figured we should have a talk. We haven't really talked much in a while,” I let her know, “Things are so different. You know?”
She turns to me, “I thought you were mad?”
“Now why would I be mad?” I ask her.
I try to put on the fake smile. Kaysha smiles back. Her face is breaking out a little bit. It must be the hormones from pregnancy. She is definitely starting to show. Her little stomach is sticking out and it's clear that she's pregnant. I look her up and down. I can't believe I trusted her. I can't believe she was working with Bambi to trap Jax.
“I heard about what Pia did,” Kaysha tells me, “Jax told me before he went off on her. Everyone on the ship is saying that she is really on a power trip. That's so fucked up man.”
Kaysha smiles at me.
She's attempting to talk as if everything is the same. We are just old friends. We aren't old friends though. This bitch is sitting here pregnant with the man who I was in love with. She tricked him down this fucking road.
“You just can't trust bitches nowadays huh?” I ask looking her up and down.
If she does think, I am talking about her she doesn't show it. She smiles and leans up against the wall, “I know right. Man Pia is a bitch.”
“And what animal are you?” I ask her.
Her face wrinkles up. She's confused.
“Pia's a bitch...a female dog. Chyna is more like a sheep, needing someone to lead her. Jax is the mustang that everyone wants. And you know Bambi...she's a snake. So when Bambi came up to me and told me that you and her had a plan to trap Jax...I figured...why get mad at Bambi? She's a snake. That's what snakes do. So tell me Kaysha. What kind of animal are you?”
Kaysha looks at me. She has this blank look on her face. It's at that moment I realize what she is. She is a deer. Even though Bambi has her name...Kaysha is the deer. Kaysha is looking like a deer in headlights right now.
“I should leave...I had another physical coming up,” Kaysha tells me.
She's running. She's trying to outrun me but it doesn't work. Before she gets even close to the entrance of the Lab we are in I stop her. I block the way so she can leave through the door and exit out of the module of the space station.
Kaysha stares at the white walls. She looks scared.
“I considered you a fucking friend and you played me like that.”
“It wasn't my idea. It was Bambi's...”
“You went FUCKING through with it. And how pregnant are you. 4 months...maybe less? You guys were missing for over a year. I'm trying to figure out the math.”
“Listen you don't know what happened on that space shuttle to Mars...”
I shrug, “And you won't tell me...”
“Things are more complicated then you know.”
“You got pregnant! Bitch. What the fuck is so complicated about that?”
“We went through a lot on that space shuttle,” Kaysha explains, “Jax and I got close. Ok...maybe I went on the space shuttle considering Bambi's plan to get Jax pregnant. That was before I was lost in space though. That was BEFORE...a lot things...”
“So you saying that you didn't trick Jax to get you pregnant?” I ask Kaysha.
“No. I was considering it at some point. Who am I?” Kaysha asks getting a little bit emotional, “I'm not pretty like Bambi. I don't got LaPerla money. I'm not smart like you. I'm a basic bitch. And for once in my life Bambi was giving me the option to do something that wasn't going to make me so basic. If I had Jax Christopher's baby I would BE somebody back on Earth.”
“We're never gonna see Earth again...” I tell Kaysha.
“Don't you think I know that?” Kaysha replies shaking her head, “That's not the point. I know you don't want to hear this but I didn't trick Jax to having sex with me. I didn't trick him into getting me pregnant. We fucked. Multiple times. And you don't want to hear this...but it was no condom...”
“BITCH FUCK YOU!”
I hated her. I hated the idea of someone fucking Jax. This shit was getting the better of me. I turn to walk out of the room at that moment.
“But it was a mistake...” she stops me.
I stop at that moment.
“What?” I ask turning around.
“I wasn't in love with Jax. Jax wasn't in love with me. We were bonded by an impossible situation and we thought we weren't going to survive. We made mistakes. And if it makes any difference I think we should all talk. You, me, Jax and Jae Jae. Clear the air. Once and for all.”
For the moment I want to like her again. For the moment I don't want to be stabbed in the back. Did I believe she didn't puncture holes in Jax's condom? Yes. However she was thinking about it? She was always thinking about getting with Jax from the get go. She was thinking about him even when she knew that I liked him. She was thinking aobut him even when she and Jae Jae were flirting.
So how could I ever trust her again.
“There may be nothing left to talk about,” I tell her.
“Let's just meet. Jax is out of jail...I'll tell him we need to meet tonight. Everyone. Clear the table with all of our friends. Fix things. And maybe...just maybe me and you can be friends again.”
I look at Kaysha. I don't know whether to trust her or not. She is in the same boat as all the other other Dollhouse members.
“I'll come to your get together. But we'll never be friends again girl...ever...”
It's later that day. I haven't heard information from Kaysha on her little meeting. A part of me doesn't know if I want to hear anything that she has to say. Regardless of if she tricked Jax into getting pregnant or not she betrayed me. I don't know if I can deal with her.
As I am walking back to my dorms. I'm stopped. It is a pull that comes almost out of no where. The hand grabs me and pulls me into a corner. I'm shocked when I see that it is Peter.
“Peter you scared the fuck out of me man,” he states.
Peter looks over at me and shakes his head, “I didn't know who else to talk to about this. You're probably the smartest student here. I'm going crazy man.”
Peter looks at me. There are bag underneath his eyes. I've been noticing him a little on edge ever since Jax and the others came back but I haven't been able to understand why.
“Don't you think are a little off...”
“I mean we did go through a wormhole Peter. We are lost in space,” I suggest the obvious looking around.
“It's more than that.”
“Peter...you're scaring me.”
“There is a lot of secrecy going on. The students that came back from Mars. The wormhole. I just have this weird feeling that all of this is connected somehow,” Peter is explaining to me, “This can't be just a coincidence.”
I didn't understand what he was saying. Wormholes were impossible. By every stretch of the imagination. It was just a theory. The impossible had happened though and right now we were lost. That was the reality.
“Mia doesn't want the students who went to Mars to talk about it.”
“Exactly. Why?” Peter asks me.
I don't fucking know.
“To avoid people rioting maybe? I mean we're lost. Everyone is depressed. Hell...I heard they are doing daily counseling sessions because people are sad.”
“There's something you should know...”
“You know something Peter?”
All of a sudden someone is walking past. It's a member of the staff. I recognize the guy. It's one of those guys that work with Pia. The hall monitors. The annoying part of it all was Dre just happened to be one of those hall monitors. I can see Dre down the hall right now. He's talking to someone but he sees Peter and I talking. Dre makes eye contact with me curiously but when he realizes that I'm not talking to anyone strange he turns around and goes back to chatting.
Peter surprisingly waits until Dre looks away from us.
“There's rumors going around among the staff. What if all of this wasn't some crazy coincidence. The wormhole appearing? The people from Mars showing up a year later.”
I wasn't understanding.
I didn't have the time to. As Peter looks like he is about to reveal something really important we are interrupted. The person walking up to us is Jax. Jax stands there clearly wanting to talk to me at that moment.
“Hey can I talk to you for a minute...after you are done here?” Jax interrupts us.
Peter looks around. Why is he so nervous about everyone around us? What has Peter figured out?
“Can I have a minute?” I ask Jax, “This was kind of important.”
Peter struggles to stop me, “Actually it's fine. Go ahead. Talk to him. We'll meet up later tonight. At midnight. Meet me in my classroom ok?”
What the fuck did Peter know?
“Yeah. I'll be there,” I tell him.
Peter shakes his head at that moment. He smiles a little bit and leans close to me. He whispers something so desperately. The words shake through my spine. They are so low that I am the only one who hears them. Then he turns at that moment.
Peter runs away. His eyes are wide open looking around almost searching for something. What the fuck is he looking for? What the fuck is he so scared of?
“Your teacher's a weirdo,” Jax tells me.
“Yeah isn't that your like favorite teacher?” Jax asks me, “He came to me and Greg's room and was asking us a bunch of questions. He's trying to find out what happened on Mars...”
“Did you tell him?”
“You know I can't...”
That secrecy shit. It's the same shit that Peter is concerned about. Everyone is brushing it under the rug but something is going down. Something is happening that Mia Laperla doesn't want to get put out there. Maybe it's the same reason she has everyone on lock down with Pia as her personal hall monitor. The space station has been turned into a police state.
“Peter has been on edge a little bit...but he's helpless.
Jax licks his lips. Fuck this dude is sexy. He has his hands in his pockets. It's like he's seducing me without even trying to. Every gesture is just makes me react with an immediate thought of 'damn he's sexy'. It happens over and over and over.
Jax raises an eyebrow, “Midnight meetings? Whispers. Should I be concerned?”
“Concerned?” I ask confused.
Jax smiles with the sides of his mouth. His smirk is beyond sexy. It drives me crazy. The fact that he's talking to me is a miracle. The fact that he is smiling at me is more than one.
He repeats himself in a suggestive manner, “Concerned...”
Yeah. I was confused. Jax's smile is genuine at that moment. He used to smile at me like that before. Now that he knew about Pia's plan all of a sudden he was smiling at me. It was almost like...dare I say it? Flirting.
“You are in a relationship aren't you?” I say, “I don't see what the concern is.”
“Oh there's a concern. You and I both know it. There's a concern when you look in my eyes. There is a concern when I get too close to you, shorty...kinda like this,” he tells me.
He steps close to me. Our chests bump up against each other.
I hold my breath. Fuck I can't breathe when he is this close. He literally takes my breath away and he notices it. He is standing so close that I can smell his sweet breath pressed up against my nostrils. When I finally do breathe I inhale it all in deeply...taking in the essence of sexy ass Jax.
People were looking. Could people be noticing?
“Oh yeah?” is all I can manage to mutter.
Jax's lips part. They stay open almost as though daring me to kiss him right in this hallway with Dre standing just down the hall, “Yeah. You see this concern I'm talking about has always been here. We knew there was a concern the first time we met. I shouldn't be this concerned with another boy. It's the same reason your boyfriend is staring at me right now and trying to wrap up his conversation. It's the same reason he's angrily walking over here...right...about...now...”
It was like clock work. Without even looking Jax knew we were going to be interrupted. Dre is standing there. Dre looks down at me. Dre's eyes connect with me. We look at one another.
“What's going on here?” Dre interrupts us.
He says it loud and clear.
“I'm not allowed to talk anymore? I heard Pia had her watchdogs out...”
Dre shakes his head, “I'm not Pia's fuckin' watchdog.”
Dre is clearly defensive. He looks over at me as though making sure that I knew that. Truth is I was worried about the same thing whether I admitted it or not. Dre was sitting here monitoring the hallways like all of Pia's other little people. They were fuckin' hall monitors as if we were in elementary school.
Jax snickers, “Ok bro. Whatever you say.”
“Didn't you just get out of lock up? You want to go back?” Dre asks Jax, “Because I do have some authority now...”
“That's nothing to be proud of,” I interrupt.
I can't help it.
Dre stops getting defensive immediately when I speak, “I didn't mean it like that. I'm only working for Pia...because...you know why...”
“And so do I,” Jax responds, “And you can quit. If you want Dre.”
“I can't quit,” Dre responds.
Jax argues with him immediately, “I talked to Pia. She won't be arresting you or Jae Jae...”
“What?” Dre asks.
Jax doesn't respond to Dre but instead looks at me, “You missed it. I confronted Pia. I let her know that if she planned on blackmailing you two can play that game. She sent me a bunch of nudes when we were together. I have no shame in leaking them if she keeps fucking with you.”
Someone really finally managed to tame Pia...for now at least.
“You did that for Dre and Jae Jae?” I ask.
I can't help but ot smile. I can't fucking help it man. Dre is just standing there. He should be happy. He's steaming though. Maybe he's steaming because Jax hasn't taken a step away from me. Jax is looking in my eyes.
“Fuck no--- I did it for you,” Jax tells me.
He's not holding back. Oh yes. He's flirting. He's FUCKIN' flirting and that shit is working.
“I guess you thinking I should thank you?” Dre asks Jax before defiantly rolling his eyes, “All ya'll are shady. If Mario didn't get involved with you in the first place he wouldn't be in this situation.”
Dre was getting on my fuckin' nerves a little. Really? He couldn't even man up enough to be happy he didn't have to be Pia's personal bitch anymore? I guess he was still doing this dick measuring thing with Jax and I wasn't here for it.
“Well if you don't want to say it I'll say it,” I respond not being able to hide how annoyed I was at Dre, “Thank you Jax.”
Jax smiles, “There is no reason to thank me. There is a reason for that concern we were talking about earlier...”
With that Jax turn and walks away. I can't help but to stare at him walking away. His broad shoulders are confident and strong. His sex appeal makes my asshole drip as he leaves me. I want to follow him to wherever he is going and just fuck the shit out of him right here and now.
“Concern? What concern is that fuckin' dude talking about?” Dre asks.
I look over at him and shrug, “Just an inside joke.”
Yes. Dre had a reason to be concerned.
It is later that night.
“Do you know why we're here?” Jae Jae asks.
“Kaysha wants to talk. Give her excuse or whatever...”
“Excuse?” Jae Jae asks.
I don't want to be the one to tell Jae Jae that Kaysha was considering at one point tricking Jax into having a baby. Even if she didn't go through with it she admitted to considering it. I wasn't sure Jae Jae needed to hear that. If he was going to hear it I definitely didn't want to be the one telling him. Things were already fucked up enough without it.
We head up to Jax and Greg's room.
When we get in I'm shocked to see that the lights are out and there are candles going. Candles? Really?
“Make yourselves at home...” Kaysha states.
She smiles. She's in the kitchen. I don't say hi to her. Jae Jae isn't that strong though. He walks over to her and gives her a hug. I stand in the kitchen feeling a little bit odd. Kaysha has on a pretty dress. It wasn't anything expensive. I'm pretty sure she didn't get it from Bambi or anything like that but it suited her. Kaysha even had make up. Again this wasn't Bambi's make up. It looked a little sloppy but hell I was shocked that she was wearing any at all.
“Something smells amazing,” Jae Jae states, “Doesn't it Mario?”
“It smells aight.”
Jae Jae looks over at Kaysha, “You look amazing. Your glowing.”
I roll my eyes, “You look aight. Where is Jax?”
I don't want to be around Kaysha. I can't stand her. It's killing me to have to be in the same room as her especially when she is pregnant. Jae Jae is acting like he doesn't mind her being pregnant. I mean the proof is carried around with the girls. Jax wasn't showing. I mean he had his six pack still that looked like a wash board. He has his muscular built out chest. He hadn't gained any weight because of Kaysha. He wasn't SHOWING the fact that he had been with someone else. I figured that would make it easy for me to still find him attractive. It was blowing my mind that Jae Jae clearly was still into Kaysha.
“You missed me already?”
Jax comes out. He has a suit on. I swear a well tailored suit can be as sexy on a man as a thong bikini is on a woman. Jax suits fit him so fucking well. He has the shirt underneath buttoned down showing the little cut in his well defined chest.
He walks out from the back rooms.
“What's going on here?” I ask confused.
“We decided to have a little dinner and have that discussion that we were talking about,” Kaysha explains at that moment.
“I'm not eating anything you make. When I stop trusting someone I stop trusting them completely. You not about to kill me off that easily...”
Jae Jae holds back a laugh but I'm telling the truth. I don't trust Kaysha. Kaysha looks embarrassed. She should be.
I want to be rude as fuck to her. I plan on being rude to her every single time I see her. What I don't anticipate though is Jax. I don't anticipate him walking up to me and touching me lightly on my elbow as though guiding me to the table.
“Please just give us a chance...for me?” Jax asks.
He's my weakness. He's my fucking weakness and I can't take it. I feel so weak as he walks me to the table. He pulls my seat out for me. When I sit he pushes it back in. What the fuck was going on here? He was catering to me...
Almost like this was some kind of date.
Naw...I had to be imagining that. His damn future baby mama was right in the fuckin' room.
“You made it out of jail pretty fast,” Jae Jae states.
“You don't sound to excited about that,” Jax replies.
Jae Jae sighs a little bit, “You got a lot of intuition I see...”
It's tense. It almost feels like Jae Jae is getting back at me for being rude to Kaysha by being rude to Jax. It's almost like he's saying two can play that game. Truth is he was right. He couldn't get pissed off at Kaysha for this situation so he was blaming Jax. I couldn't get pissed off at Jax for this situation so I was blaming Kaysha.
“Where's Greg...no where around?” I ask.
“No. I asked for the day,” Jax tells me, “He seemed a little bothered when Kaysha comes out.”
“For a straight guy he definitely seems bothered a lot by the people you spend your time with,” Jae Jae responds.
“Jae Jae...” I warn him.
I did tell Jae Jae about Greg and Jax's past in confidence. I told him that when I didn't think I'd ever see Jax again. I had no idea we'd be in a room with Jax and Jae Jae would be using Greg's secret as ammunition.
“I'm just saying that Jax has him a lot of romance drama going on,” Jae Jae explains, “Everyone just wants a piece of Jax Christopher huh.”
Jax is sighing a little bit, “Ok Jae Jae. Get it all out man. I promised Kaysha I wasn't going to argue with you. So I won't. What you calling me a hoe because I'm attractive now? Ok people like me...is that your angle?”
We hadn't even been here for a couple of minutes and the drama had already started.
“Yup. That's my angle. And Jax can't help himself. He's just EVERYBODY's boyfriend...” Jae Jae states.
I want to tell Jae Jae that he's wrong but that is the thing about Jax. He has had a lot of love interests. Pia. Greg. Me. Kaysha. Jae Jae had a point.
And maybe Jax knows that. Maybe that's why he puts his head down and doesn't respond.
“Fresh out the oven,” Kaysha states.
She brings out the food just in time because things are getting awkward at the table. By the time the four of us start eating things just continue to be awkward. I can't help it. I can't help just sitting there and not wanting to have a conversation because Kaysha is there. I'm sure Jax is biting his tongue from not wanting to react to Jae Jae's shade. Jae Jae is just staring hard at Jax from across the table clearly wanting to go in on him again.
After almost 20 minutes of near silence Kaysha talks.
“Pia is getting really crazy with the lockdown thing huh?” she mentions almost suggesting small talk.
“A lot of secrets going around,” I respond, “You should know...”
“Yeah what did happen on Mars by the way, Mario?” Jae Jae butts in but then stops,
“Think the guy I was interested in fucked the girl you were interested in...got her pregnant,” I reply, “Funny how that works right, Jae Jae?”
Jae Jae puts on his best fake smile, “Pure...fuckin' comedy Mario. And you know what else happened in Mars, Mario?”
I shrug, “I have no clue Jae Jae...”
“Exactly, Mario. No one knows. Because the people we trusted the most on the space station won't tell us. But they'll go tell Captain---Cunt.”
“Ok, we didn't bring you guys here to argue,” Kaysha suggests.
“Then why are we here?” I ask, “Because that's all I feel like doing...”
“Jax and I have made a decision and we wanted to share it with you,” Kaysha states.
At that moment Jax looks over at me.
“We decided that we were breaking up,” Jax explains.
“I'm not doing this because I want you to break up with Jax. And Kaysha isn't doing this because she wants Jae Jae to break up with Chyna. We just figured we need to go our separate ways. We'll raise the baby together. We'll do everything we need to do...but our hearts are not in this.”
All of a sudden I feel like shit for coming in here with an attitude.
I can't help but to look over at Jae Jae, “Well...then...uh...where is your heart?”
Jae Jae shrugs, “I don't know. I'm hoping you can help me find it.”
He smiles slightly. His eyes connect to mine.
I'm surprised when it's actually Kaysha who smiles as well, “Aw....you guys are so gay...”
Laughter breaks out. It eases the tension. I have to admit it breaks the ice. I'm not sure how but all of a sudden we are having regular conversation again. The regular conversation goes on to little things. We are talking about old times.
Hours turn as if it's nothing. Soon the group dynamic starts to fade away. Kaysha and Jae Jae disappear halfway through the night. I don't know where they go. I don't care. Jax and I are sitting in his living room. We are talking about everything and nothing at the same time. And I missed it. I missed the good times. I hated the drama.
And right now him and I were making new good times.
“We realize we been talking for hours?” Jax asks me.
“I don't even realize how fast the time goes when I'm talking to you,” I honestly reply to him.
He's close to me. He hasn't kissed me even though I want him to. Hell I want to drop to my knees pull out his dick and give him the best head he's ever gotten in his life. I hold myself back though. This is an emotional adventure I'm trying to go on with him. And right now I just want to make sure it is right.
“What Jae Jae said earlier...” Jax cuts me off.
“Look Jae Jae was mad,” I respond.
“But he was partially right,” Jax responds, “We all have our issues. I've seen it in Greg where he just feels like he had to date and fuck all these people. Maybe it's our abandonment issues because we were both adopted.”
“Is that where you learned it?” I ask him.
“Partially. I just thought it was normal to just keep it moving from one relationship to the next. Hell, multiple relationships at once. I never thought I'd feel the way I feel right now.”
“What way is that?”
Jax turns to me. He holds my hand at that moment.
“I feel like...I don't know. I want you to sit your boyfriend down with him. Tell him: It's time you two had a heart to heart. You never meant to hurt him but you've met someone else. And the feelings are mutual. Tell him that it's not his fault. Give him all the excuses that he needs to hear. Tell him that he'll find someone else who'll make him happy one day. Tell him that you just aren't that person because your heart belongs to someone else. I want you to sit Dre down and tell him...it's time to break up.”
I'm smiling so hard right now. I'm smiling so hard that it doesn't take anything for Jax to lean forward and start kissing me. He's kissing me deep in my mouth. His tongue enters it and he explores my mouth in a way that makes me shiver. My world is going upside down at that moment. I don't know how to take this. I don't know how to respond.
So I'm just allowing him to kiss me and I feel taken away.
“Easy as that huh?”
“Unless you want me to tell him for you?” Jax laughs, “But that's what it's going to be.”
It turned me on that he was being aggressive. It was almost as though he wasn't going to risk it this time. He wasn't going to leave any room for error. He wants this thing between us to work.
And so did I...
“I'll tell him. First thing tomorrow.”
Fuck. I don't know how Dre was going to react. But Jax was right. He can see it because he was feelign the exact same thing. Both him and Kaysha were feeling it. My heart belonged to someone else.
“Right cause you are staying over tonight and I'm going to keep you up,” he smiles, “All...night...long...”
“Damn. That sounds amazing,” I tell him, “But remember I have to meet Peter.”
“Yeah I do...”
“You going to leave me like this?” Jax asks.
Jax guide my hand down to his dick. It's hard. I'm not talking a little hard. He is brick hard. I can't help but to give it a few quick tugs from above his slacks. The fabric rubs up against his fabric. I look down and see a wet stain come through on the gray fabric. It's clearly precum.
“I'll be back.”
He kisses me again soft and tender on the lips and watches my ass as I walk away with just as much lust as I watched him earlier.
The hard part was done. I got Jax back. Now I just had to let Dre know.
I walk over to Peter's office. The fact that he wants to meet at midnight is weird. It's almost as though he wants to really make sure we are talking in private. I want to be really interested in what Peter has to tell me but right now I can't focus on this.
I just had the most amazing night with Jax talking for hours and at the end of it he basically is telling me that I need to break up with my boyfriend. He's basically telling me that he wants it to be me and him.
So here I am smiling in Peter's office.
I click the light on.
“Professor! You hear? You have no idea what just happened with Jax,” I start off but immediately I let out a piercing scream.
My heart races.
“WHAT THE FUCK!”
My heart drops when I turn around.
Peter is there. But he's not moving...
To read the next chapter in advance go to www.crushedcrown.com