The Trey Songz look alike stares at me for a minute. It all makes sense. Why would he have run off my ticket when he already had a ticket of his own. What are the chances that I’m seeing him again? What are the chances that we are staring right in each other’s face.
“I see you made it on board,” he says to me.
He definitely is different from the Pia chick. He actually smiles at me. The girl Pia is clearly bothered. It’s amusing to say the least. She thinks this guy is going to start tripping, knock me out or something but instead he gives me that familiar smile.
“You know him?” Pia asks.
“We met back in Cali,” he responds.
He stares at me for a minute. I stare back at him. It’s awkward seeing him again. Damn he’s attractive though. I’d have to give the guy that. He still has his cool swag on. He has on his Yeezys and his flight jacket. He stands as though he’s posing for a picture…perfectly holding himself together. I can’t help but to look him up and down. It’s so awkward at that moment…but it’s awkward in the most amazing way.
“Yeah…” he says.
“Um. Yeah. Yeah…” he replies.
We stare at each other again. Why the fuck are we staring at each other like this? Why can’t I focus on anything else? Snap out of it, Mario!
“Hello…Jax? What the fuck? You going to check him or not?” Pia asks him.
He doesn’t even look over at her. He just smiles at me again and lightly taps me on the shoulder, “Naw. It’s not that serious. I’m sure it was a mistake. Welcome on board the Exodus guys. I’ll be seeing ya’ll around, aight?”
He taps me again and begins to walk away. Pia takes one look at me and then looks over at Jax. She’s not expecting him to be so nice. Hell…I wasn’t expecting him to be so nice. I see her running after him chasing him down. She looks pissed! It’s hilarious.
I’m watching them walk away. They look like young stars and honestly the two of them definitely are drawing more attention than I. Here is probably the most handsome guy in America right next to the most handsome girl.
“When were you going to tell me you know Jax Christopher?” Kaysha asked me.
Jax. It was a beautiful name. He’s down the hallway now. He’s talking to another handsome looking guy. Pia is still near them trying to get his attention but he doesn’t seem to be giving it to her. They are way down the hall but in the next second his eyes wander for a minute. They wander slowly until they connect with mine.
Was he searching for me?
I could just be imagining it. I had to be. Why the fuck would a guy that sexy be looking for a bum like me?
“Wh---what?” I ask.
I can’t even focus.
“Oh my god you’re gay,” Kaysha tells me.
I grab her immediately snapping out of whatever gaze I’m in. I grab her and pull her off to the side out of people ways.
“No I’m not you can’t just…say shit like that!” I’m starting to panick.
It comes out of nowhere. She says it so loud. The look on her face is confused when I pull her so hard. I don’t mean to yank her up but I’m nervous that someone heard her. What if something like that comes out?
“It’s just how you were looking at Jax Christopher just now…it was like you were attracted to him,” she responds, “I’m sorry man. My gay friends look at Jax the same way. I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not gay.”
“Ok, ok,” she replies at that moment, “But you know if you were it’s cool with me. It’s a new day. You don’t have to hide who you are anymore…”
Maybe in her life she didn’t have to hide stuff like that. Back in Compton, gay kids were picked on and beaten up. No one was out of the closet. The urban community didn’t support being gay. They never would no matter how far the rest of America came with acceptance. It was a secret that I planned on not sharing with anyone…ever.
“I’m not gay,” I respond to her, “He just helped me. That’s all. I didn’t know he was someone famous or anything?”
“Jax Christopher?” she asks me, “Don’t you listen to music. He was that child singer back in the day. Young Justin Beiber type dude. All the girls loved him. When he got into his teenage years though he fell off the music scene and decided to focus on school.”
I shake my head, “That’s crazy…you don’t see people who want to focus on school nowadays especially after they made money.”
“I used to have all his posters. Him and Pia. God…beautiful couple. They’d make some beautiful babies. Don’t you think?” Kaysha says.
I laugh a little bit. She’s creeping me out right now.
“You want me to go ask for an autograph.”
“Not from Pia. See that girl walking down the steps. That’s the main star. That’s Pia’s frenemy Bambi Hampton. Pia is just the Khloe Kardashian to Bambi’s Kim Kardashian.. That’s the Dollhouse right over there. Bambi’s brother is standing right there. His name is Greg. Greg Hampton is best friends with Jax. Jax is dating Bambi. Bambi is frenemies with Pia. That’s them. You get it…or naw?”
I look over at the people they are talking about. Greg has a bunch of tattoos that stretch all over his bodies. Where Jax looks like a smooth, sexy cool kid, Greg looks a little rough around the edges but still in a very attractive way. He looks more gangster but not the ones that I grew up around. He’s one of those rich kind with flashy jewelry handing on his neck and wrists. He seems flashy, sexy and dangerous. He still isn’t as flashy as his sister. His sister Bambi is drop dead gorgeous. She reminds me of a young Angelina Jolie. Her lips are extremely full and blushed red. She has wide eyes and long brown hair. Her skin is the color of sand.
“No dark skin people allowed in that group huh?” I ask Kaysha.
“Heck no. That’s the Dollhouse. Rumor is to even hang around them you have to be lighter than a paper bag…” Kaysha responds.
It’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. I roll my eyes. These kids are the stereotypical rich, light skin, wealthy, exotic looking brats who probably never had to fight for anything in their life.
I’ve never been a part of that group but I have to admit. A part of me always wondered what it would be like to live a lavish life. I wondered what it would be like to be part of that 1 percent who had it all.
“You need a life Kaysha,” I tell her.
“Why get one? I can just live through them…” she says all googly eyed.
“Girl come the fuck on…we need to find our sleeping areas.”
Exodus is bigger than I thought. It takes forever to find the way to the sleeping module. All the modules are formed in a huge ring. The rings are connected by what looks like a sky bridge. From the sky bridge you can look out into space. You get to see the stars. It’s a little scary walking through them but luckily I have a railing.
Luckily Kaysha’s sleeping assignments aren’t too far from mine. She may be addicted to those rich kids but at least she likes to hang around me. Having one friend who is a little bit of a weirdo is better than having no friends at all.
“Let’s go find your room next,” she says.
We’ve just seen her room. Her roommate doesn’t talk much at all and is a little awkward girl. The dorms are small. There are no windows and there is one swinging light. The walls are painted a pale color. They look like little jail cells honestly but I wasn’t complaining. I was happy to be aboard the Exodus.
“I can go on my own girl,” I tell her.
“I’m not worried about you. My dumbass is the one that will probably get lost without you,” she replies.
We end up on what they call the east wing. The dorms are all lined up based on random assignments or what seems like random assignments. There is one bathroom per 10 rooms. The rooms are all shared each with one roommate. As I make my way to the room that I was assigned I get a little nervous to even open it and meet my roommate but Kaysha luckily has no fear.
She immediately grabs the key out of my hand and within a second she unlocks the damn door! She opens the door almost immediately and I see the guy.
When the door unlocks I hear grunting.
He’s jerking off!
He has his pants hanging halfway down his knees. His ass is showing. It’s so CLEAR the dude was jerking off as when he turns around his dick is in his hands!
“Nice ass!” Kaysha says to my roommate.
“Fuck! I didn’t think…” he starts off at that moment, “I just had to relieve some stress…”
I have to admit he does have a nice ass. He has a little bubble butt. He is a dark skinned black boy…about a few shades darker than me. He had his septum pierced and He has on these square glasses in his hands. I can’t help but to get a glance of his dick as he struggles to pull up his pants. It’s a nice size. Shit. To be honest I’m a little embarrassed for him especially when Kaysha starts her giggling.
“It’s all good,” I reply leaning forward to shake his hand, “I’m Mario.”
“You may not want to do that, I think I see some nut,” Kaysha warns me.
Shit she’s right.
The boy was just about to shake my hand but then pulls it back as well. It’s a little awkward to both of us. Kaysha is clearly fucking amused by this little exchange though.
“I’m Jae. J-A-E. Everyone calls me Jae Jae though. Um. This is some awkward shit ain’t it.”
“Nothing to be nervous about kid,” I respond, “We all do it. We just need to … I don’t know make us a ‘Do not disturb’ sign or something.”
“Boy stop trying to make him feel better. He was just jerking off…in space within minutes of finding his room. That’s some awkward shit,” Kaysha laughs.
I elbow Kaysha a little bit.
“Well how about I break the ice?” Jae-Jae says, “Bottles anyone?’
Jae-Jae goes under his bed and pulls out bottles. We got a list of items that we could not have under any circumstances. The fact that he has alcohol right now blows my mind.
“How the hell did you do that?” Aysha asks.
“There’s a lot more where that came from in the storage area. Let’s just say I’m very handy,” Jae Jae responds.
I smile at him, “Man, I knew I liked you already.”
By that evening Jae Jae and Aysha are drunk. Jae Jae falls asleep and Aysha runs off to roam the hall and talk to anyone who would give her any attention. It’s getting late and a lot of people are getting into their dorms. The lights are dimming and that means that it’s curfew on the Exodus. It’s strange. Them dimming the lights means that it’s night time? I am going to have to get used to this.
I find myself roaming the hallway unable to sleep. I get all the way out to the one of the star bridges. It’s beautiful with the lights down dim. It isn’t bustling and crowded full of students. It’s quiet. It’s peaceful.
I stare out at the stars.
“It’ll take the Exodus 260 days to get to Mars…” a voice says.
I turn. I’m shocked by who it is. It’s Jax. My heart skips a beat almost immediately. I’m a little drunk. I look like shit. I’m wearing some pajama shorts and a fucking wife beater. Jax looks the same as he did earlier. He looks sharp. He always looks sharp. He walks up behind me. I’m not sure how he found me.
I sound stupid. Who fucking says that? I want to punch myself in the face as soon as the words come out.
Jax laughs a little bit, “Yeah me. I promise I’m not stalking you. I just decided to take a walk around get to know my surroundings. You know?”
He stands next to me. He smells so good. He smells like expense. Don’t ask me how I came up with expense as a scent. It’s a mix between a new car and fresh money. Imagine you took all the swag in the world and bottled it up into one person. That’s what Jax was. He was swag. He walks across the room and leans into the thick glass in the coolest way. It’s like he’s making a movie or some shit. Who leans in cool? I mean where do they do that at?
I lean in like he does and I end up bumping my fucking head into the mirror.
“You ok man?” he asks.
He sniffs the air for a second, “Yo…you been drinking man?”
Fuck. How embarrassing is this? I’m next to the sexiest man I’ve ever seen in my life and I smell like fucking alcohol. I’m over here basking in his essence of expense and he’s shriveling up his nose to me.
“It’s that obvious?” I ask him shaking my head and wanting to just throw myself out into space.
Jax laughs a little bit, “You’re good man. You’re good. Why are you so nervous?”
“I’m not nervous.”
“You’re sweating bro.”
“I’m not NERVOUS!”
Jax raises an eyebrow. My voice just shrieked. I’m not imagining the shit. How big of a fucking nerd am I that I’m talking to a boy and my voice shrieks like I’m sucking up helium. Jax is amused. He’s laughing. His pearly whites are flashing. His breath smells like his tongue was made out of mints. It’s the middle of the fucking night. Whose breath smells perfect in the middle of the night? Why the fuck does he look and smell so fucking perfect at this time of night?
“Ok I believe you,” he snickers sarcastically before turning back towards the stars, “You think the stars look good here you haven’t seen them from the upper observation.”
“You know…the captain suites…”
“No. I have no idea what you’re talking about?”
“Dead ass?” he asks, “Man…follow me…”
I’m not sure where I’m following him but I can’t help following him. I mean he is the type of guy that you want to follow. The dude walks like he’s in a music video and a million people are looking at him. He has perfected his walk. There is the slightest bounce in every step. He keeps his head high. He has the perfect posture. He doesn’t slouch like I do.
Jax takes me up to what looks like a door that I hadn’t noticed earlier. He clicks in the door and an elevator fucking opens. He puts a code into the elevator. What the fuck? I didn’t get a code to shit
“Just this way man,” he tells me.
“You work here or something?” I ask him.
“Naw. Just got a little hook up or whatever. That’s all.”
He takes me down a hallway and enters another code. The doors here don’t open. They fucking slide up all fancy-like. The door slides up and at that moment I am blown away. The entire room is capsulated in glass. The ceiling is completely gone. There are appliances in this place that look like they are made out of high quality material. The counters in this place are granite. There is a private fridge and a hallway that seems like it leads to bedrooms or something. This dude wasn’t lying when he said it’s a fucking suite in here.
“Little? YO---this shit is DOPE!”
My mouth opens. I’ve come a long way from Compton. I look up and all I see is stars. All the walls in this place have been replaced. I mean what’s the point of having walls to the outside when there’s no one on the outside that can peer in. I look out into space and I’m blown away.
“Told you. It’s the shit ain’t it?” he asks, “My bedroom is dope as fuck too…”
“Wait…you sleep here. What the fuck?”
These were not the normal dorms…not by far. How the fuck was this boy sleeping here? Not only that...it's super clean in here. It's spotless. The only thing I can think about is perfection just like him. I'm looking around like a fucking fan trying my best not to be stunned by this place.
“Yeah me and
my roommate. His names Greg. We have separate rooms but we share
this common area and you know...the hot tub.”
“Hot tub?” I ask.
There's a hot tub,” he laughs before turning around, “I
never get in though. I'm a little bit of a germaphobe for real.”
“I can see that. You're life is perfect.”
Jax doesn't seem convinced. His perfect face, his perfect body, his perfect apartment, his perfect girlfriend and all the other things in his life just seemed flawless. He had it all but for some reason when I say that it seems to hit a chord that I don't expect from him. Jax turns towards the stars and stares out for a second in a more melancholy way. It's like he's holding something back but I don't know what. Maybe I'm over-exaggerating. Maybe I'm just imagining it.
“No one's life is perfect,” he whispers slightly in the darkness.
There is a dark cloud that fills the room at that moment. I don't get it. He seems so...unhappy. Why the fuck would someone who had it all be unhappy about?
I smile back at him
at that moment hoping to change the subject, “Hell...how about
you go sleep in those small dorms and I take the hot tub?”
He laughs at that moment, “You want to see it?”
The dark cloud seems to leave. Whatever he was going through seems to fade away at that moment and just doesn't seem important to him. Instead he finds himself leading me down a hallway. The fucking hallway is bigger than my entire room. At this point I am not sure I even want to see it. We get to the end of the hallway and open another door.
What I see blows my mind. There is a SEXY guy there. He's in the tub. He's humping the FUCK out of a girl in the tub. He is fucking her so hard that I almost think she's going to orgasm right at that moment.
“Fuck me Greg...GIVE ME THAT BIG DICK,” she's screaming.
The girl is a light skinned black girl that is relatively pretty. She had long red hair that flows to her shoulders. Her fake titties are pressed up against the boys chest. He has her on the side of the tub and is thrusting into her. His ass cheeks are spread open so much I can see his pink asshole. He's muscular...almost as muscular as Jax.
“Greg what the fuck man...we share that tub,” Jax, the neat freak immediately says. It's funny that the thing on his mind right now isn't the sex but the fact that Greg is having sex in a tub that they share.
Greg turns pulls out of her.
you were sleep homie,” Greg explains, “Chyna you got to
“But I didn't even nut,” the girl says.
“I said you got to fuckin' leave girl. Don't make me say that shit again!” Greg responds.
Greg is assertive. I'm looking at him now as he stands there wagging still hard dick. His dick has precum on the tip. It's so fucking big and it sticks out almost SALUTING. Goddam this guy is sexy in the worst kind of ways. I can't help myself but to just stare at his body. This Greg dude is covered in tattoos. He looks like some type of hood sexy rapper or something that all the girls like. He's completely different from the guys in Compton. He has this pretty boy but still tough kind of swag that is driving me crazy. He reminds me of a really muscular version of the rapper Tyga.
The girl he was fucking grabs her clothes that are on the side of the tub. Why she's letting him disrespect her like that I have no idea. Clearly they must have history before this. She leaves the room looking down on the ground and not staring at us in the eyes.
“It's gonna take me forever to clean that tub,” Jax is hesitating.
“You'll be ok...whose this?” Greg asks him.
“Oh this is...damn...I forgot your name. What was your name again man?” Jax asks me.
Shit. That's embarrassing. I knew his name was Jax Christopher. I knew everything about his crew and his friends from Kaysha. Jax didn't even remember my fucking name.
“Mario,” I remind him.
Mario. Just met him around the ship...or whatever.”
“You always bringing around strays,” Greg rolls his eyes.
I'm shocked at that moment. Did this man just call me a fucking stray? I can't even respond to this. What kind of shit was that? He was calling me a stray---right to my face. I think about responding but I'm thinking against it. This guy is muscular as hell and he doesn't seem like he would hesitate to knock me the fuck out if I disrespected him. He seems like a dickhead like that.
So instead I just stand there and stare.
Luckily Jax comes to
my defense...somewhat, “He's aight.”
“You sweet kid?” Greg asks me.
He looks at my hard,
“You gay? You fruity? You some type of sissy or some
My heart beats fast at that moment. What the fuck is he talking about?
“Greg why you got to be disrespectful?” Jax asks him.
“He was staring at my dick all crazy like it's something to eat. You want to eat my dick brotha?” Greg asks me.
He has his dick in his hands at that moment. He jerks it one good time. He gives a really hard squeeze letting a long stream of precum flow from it and dribble on the floor. He watches my eyes as he does it probably hoping to see if I was gay or if I was going to react to it.
“Greg you fuckin' nasty man. Hope you cleaning that up,” Jax responds.
“Maybe I should leave,” I say all of a sudden feeling really uncomfortable.
I turn around before they say anything. I can hear Greg laughing in the background at me running out of the room so fast. Jax is asking me what's wrong. He's saying some other stuff too but I am not even paying attention to him. I just need to get away from them.
I need to get away from them because Greg is right. I'm gay and he's right...sitting there looking at his naked body is turning me the fuck on in the worst kind of way and if I stayed a minute longer I would have outed myself to the most popular boys on this space station.
“You ok Mario?” Kaysha asks me.
It's the next day. We are at orientation. I still have the night before on my mind. Sexuality is something that I've always struggled with. I had a friend...not a boyfriend but someone I guess we were dating. We were at least having sex on the low. No kissing. No romance. It was just fucking but I always wanted it to be more. It just never ended up working out that way. We both figured if we didn't do any of the romance shit that didn't make us as gay.
But I always knew there was this urge. Seeing guys like Jax and Greg confirmed it. I wasn't just gay for certain people. I was gay period. The way I was attracted to Jax was beyond anything I could feel for anyone else.
got a headache.”
Orientation is in the laboratory modules. The laboratory modules were part of the space station that our classes were going to be held in. We all had our schedules and were in a crowded auditorium waiting for Mia Laperla the captain of the ship. She was definitely late and people were getting antsy. This place was crowded.
I look across the
room and I see them sitting there. The Dollhouse...the beautiful
people. Jax doesn't even see me. He wouldn't. Hell he didn't even
remember my name. I was just some random guy that he was being nice
to. Greg is right next to him. The girl he was sleeping with is
standing off to the side almost as though she isn't welcome in the
main circle. Greg's sister Bambi is looking stunning as though she's
about to hit some type of runway or something. Then there is Pia.
She is hugged up all over Jax.
What I wouldn't do to take her place...
“I got percocets. Oxycodone. Anything you need brotha,” Jae-Jae tells me.
I look over at Jae Jae. He's an interesting person to say the least.
“What are you some type of drug dealer? How the hell did you smuggle all that shit on this space station.”
“I'm a hustler baby...” Jae Jae responds laughing, “You think smuggling alcohol and meds are a big deal. I've smuggled bigger things.”
Kaysha and I return glances. Jae Jae is serious right now.
It's Kaysha who asks the question we are both are wondering, “Other things like what?”
“Lean in,” he tells me.
“Just spill it Jae Jae. No one's listening,” I respond.
“I smuggled people on board.”
I raise eyebrows. This was a space station. He wasn't sneaking people into a goddam club. This guy was like some type of master smuggler or some shit!
Kaysha calls bullshit almost immediately, “Boy...I don't believe you.”
“Hey you guys are my new friends,” Jae Jae responds, “Why would I lie to you?”
“Prove it,” Kaysha says.
“You believe me right Mario?” Jae Jae asks me.
I laugh a little bit, “Man I don't know. Sneaking in alcohol is one thing. Sneaking in people is whole different story.”
“See that boy over there?” Jae Jae asks, “All the way in the back, wearing the hat. He's keeping a low profile. I snuck him on the space station.”
“Bullshit...” Kaysha laughs.
I look over at the boy that Jae Jae is talking about. The guy does have a hat on and is keeping a low profile. When I look at him though I realize who it is. Holy shit.
This is not happening.
“He's not lying...” I tell Kaysha.
“Why do you say that?”
“I know him,” I respond.
Just at that moment a ghost from my past appears. Just when I think I escaped all the drama in Compton it comes back to me. This trip wasn't going to be what I expected. This trip was going to be getting a whole lot more interesting...
Andre...my ex best friend is on the fucking space station.