Date: Wed, 30 Nov 2011 08:55:27 -0600
From: jkeele777@yahoo.com
Subject: Shadows & Light, chapter 5

WHILE SOME OF THE EVENTS DESCRIBED IN THIS STORY ARE FICTIONALIZED, SO I
CAN RETAIN WHAT'S LEFT OF MY SANITY, MANY OF THE EVENTS HERE ACTUALLY
HAPPENED AS DESCRIBED. YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE YOU CONTINUE THAT THIS STORY
CONTAINS GRAPHIC ACCOUNTS OF CHILD ABUSE AND VIOLENCE, AS WELL AS DRUG USE
BY TEENAGERS. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED OR THIS KIND OF MATERIAL IS
ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO READ, PLEASE STOP NOW. IF YOU HAVE ANY COMMENTS OR
SUGGESTION, YOU CAN EMAIL ME AT JKEELE777@YAHOO.COM. PLEASE INCLUDE THE
STORY NAME IN THE SUBJECT LINE, SO YOUR MESSAGE IS NOT FILTERED INTO THE
JUNK PILE! IF YOU ARE, OR KNOW OF A CHILD IN A SIMILAR SITUATION, DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT! CALL THE POLICE. CALL SOCIAL SERVICES. DO ANYTHING, BUT
DO SOMETHING!


Chapter 5

	As I walked down the hallway, I noticed that the living room lights
were off. Not knowing anything about these guys, or how or where they ate
dinner, I was a little apprehensive walking into a dark room. When I turned
the corner, Greg threw the lights on and everyone yelled out "SURPRISE!
Welcome home!" I nearly shit myself, standing there in the doorway. It was
hard for me not to turn and run away. I guess Greg saw this, as the next
thing I knew, he had me by the hand, and was leading me into the living
room.

Joe looked at me for a moment, and said "I'm sorry. We didn't mean to scare
you. Greg was just so excited about you being here, that he wanted us to
throw you a little welcome party. I should have warned you a little
bit. He's already told the whole neighborhood that he has a new big
brother."

When I looked around the room, I saw that it was just the three of us, plus
Cody and Kevin. I wanted to know how they knew where I was, but I was
afraid to ask just how much they knew about what had happened. Kevin ran up
and grabbed me into a bear hug, and when I yelped, he immediately put me
back down.

"I'm sorry, dude, I didn't know you were still hurt!" he exclaimed. "How
'bout I settle for a handshake?" He stepped back and looked at me for a
minute, and asked "So, is it true what everyone is saying? Did your stepdad
really flip out on you? Where is your mom? I've been trying to call your
house since I got back from Florida!"

I sat down heavily on the sofa and put my head in my hands. "Kevin, can we
not talk about this right now?" I asked. "It's been such a good day, and I
don't think I can take talking about them right now."

Cody came over and put his hands on my shoulders. "I can't stay, man. I
just wanted to see you and make sure you were alright. I'll see you in
school next week, though." Then he looked at Kevin and said "Are you still
driving me home? My mom said I needed to be there by eight."

Kevin stood up and told me goodbye, hugged me again, and they went out to
get in his car.

"Wow," Joe said. "That was a little surreal. They have no idea what you
went through there, do they?"

I could barely look up at him. "No, sir, they don't. If it's all the same,
I'd like to keep it that way. I'm still not sure that they could handle
knowing, and other than you guys, they are the only friends I have." I
looked at Greg, who looked like he was going to start crying. I think he
knew, even at eleven years old, that he had maybe pushed a little too far
for the first night. "Greg, you can call me your big brother all you want
to. I'd be proud to have a little brother like you. Thank you for thinking
about me enough to do this for me."

Well, that did it. He got that huge grin on his face again, and jumped up
into a half tackle, half hug, knocking us both down onto the living room
floor. And, once again, I was howling with laughter. Ben pulled him off of
me, and helped me to my feet. When he pulled me up, he put his hand over
Greg's face, and gave me a quick kiss.

"Are you ready to eat, buddy?" he asked softly. "We have a couple of things
ready, since we didn't know what you would eat."

After steadying my legs and making sure I wasn't going to fall on my face
(God, this kid was a good kisser!), I said "I'm not a real picky
eater. What have we got?"

We spent that first night getting to know each other a little better over
steaks, baked potatoes and shrimp, and it surprised me how easy it was to
talk to these guys. Ben, especially, wanted to know everything about me, it
seemed. I told them everything there was to tell. I told them about my
mother, and her husbands. I even told them about the things her third
husband had done to me when I was four and five years old. I had never told
anyone about that, and again, it surprised me that it all just came pouring
out. Joe looked stunned, and Greg looked like he was going to be sick. Ben,
however, just held my hand while I looked between the table and the floor
while I spoke. When I finally finished, I was crying softly. I looked up
from the floor, looked around the room, and said "I'm sorry for bringing
you down with all this shit, guys. I know you wanted this to be a happy day
for me, and I fucked it up. I'm gonna go lay down for a little while." When
I stood up to leave the room, Ben grabbed me and turned me around so fast
that it scared me a little. When I brought my hands up in front of my face,
he stepped back with a hurt look on his face.

"Jeremy, I told you once that I wasn't going to hit you. I meant that. I
will never, ever touch you like that." He said sadly. And then he grabbed
me, and hugged me so hard it hurt my ribs again, but I didn't flinch or
pull away. I just held him right back, and just as tightly. His dad came
around the table and joined us, and after a minute, so did Greg.

Greg looked up at us and said, "I don't know why people did that stuff to
you, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry you never had a daddy like ours." I couldn't
help but love the kid after a comment like that. Joe had brought these guys
up with love and respect, and they couldn't imagine that not everyone lived
like them. It was the same for me. I had never imagined that there were
kids out there who lived like these guys. I thought everyone was just was
just as afraid all the time as me. I thought everyone had to live with the
pain and humiliation that I did, and they thought the exact opposite. They
were convinced that nobody lived like I had been forced to.

After our talk, and after cleaning up the dinner mess, I decided that I was
going to go lie down and watch some TV. Without me saying a word to him,
Ben got up and followed me into the bedroom. After I picked a movie and got
the DVD player going, he laid back on his bed, sitting against the
headboard, and pulled me down to him. We lay so that his back was against
the headboard, and I was laying with my head on his chest, with both his
arms wrapped around me. I had never felt so safe in my life, and I don't
think I stayed awake long enough for the movie to start. It was the first
night I could remember that I slept without nightmares, and when I woke the
next morning, we had both scooted down onto the bed, but I was still
wrapped tight in Ben's arms.

I climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Ben, and scrounged for a pair of
boxers and a t-shirt before heading to the shower. It was still pretty
early, but I was determined not to make such an ass of myself today. I was
just plain sick of fucking crying and moping around all the time. I was
still scared, hurt and confused, but I had people in my corner now, and I
wanted to take full advantage of that feeling. As I was leaning up against
the wall of the shower, trying not to let my emotions overwhelm me again, I
heard a tap on the glass. When I looked up, Ben was standing there.

"Hey bud," he said, "you OK in there? You feel like some company?" He asked
with a wicked little grin.

Instead of answering, I reached out and pushed the door open, standing back
to give him room to join me. As he stepped into the shower, I couldn't help
but stare. Here, right in front of me, was the body I had been so curious
about for these last months, and DAMNIT, was it ever worth the wait. Ben
was gorgeous! He was just a little taller than I, perhaps six foot even,
and probably weighed close to one ninety. He was very well defined, and
solidly built, but not too muscular. His eyes shined like emeralds as he
stepped in next to me. As my eyes travelled down his body, I couldn't help
but think how beautiful he was. He had very little hair on his chest or
stomach, but had a nice, recently trimmed bush around his fat cock. It
appeared to be about three and a half inches soft, with nice sized
balls. It looked like I was going to get the full show, however, as the
closer he got to me, the bigger his dick got. By the time he put his hands
on my shoulders and pulled me in for a passionate kiss, we were both fully
hard. Having been without privacy for two months, my dick was already so
hard it hurt, and when his much thicker piece touched me, I gasped. This
wasn't going to last very long, I thought to myself. As we kissed, standing
under the hot water, Ben lightly traced his fingers up and down the scars
on my stomach and right side. When I gasped again, he pulled back with a
worried look on his face.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly. "Does it still hurt? I meant it when I
said I would never hurt you, you know. "

I didn't trust myself to answer right away. I pulled him back into a tight
embrace and laid my head on his chest. "You didn't hurt me," I finally
said. "And the scars don't hurt at all, at least not physically. It just
reminds me of how much he hated me. I just don't understand, I guess, what
I did to make him hate me all these years." And, of course, that was all it
took. I was, once again, a giant pile of bawling mess.

Benny hugged me tighter for a moment, and without a word, stepped out of
the shower. He grabbed a towel, pulled me out as well, and dried me
off. When he looked up at me, while drying my legs, he was crying quietly
as well. When he spoke, I could barely hear him.

"I wish I knew what to say to you when you hurt like that wish I could take
it all away with a snap of my fingers. But, I can't. And honestly, I don't
think I should. You have every right to be angry and confused. I don't
understand it either.  I tried to talk to my dad about all of this, but he
didn't know what to say, and it just made him sad to try," he said through
his tears.

Then, like the knight in shining armor he was, he took me in is arms, led
me to bed, and gently rocked me back to sleep. When I woke again, I felt
like the world had been taken off my shoulders. I still, to this day, don't
know why, but something about being around Ben just made me feel like it
was OK to keep breathing. I had only known him for a very short time (well,
when I was awake, that is), but he made me feel so safe, and so loved, that
I really felt like I would survive all of this.

When I got to the living room, Greg was sitting on the sofa in his PJ's,
eating cereal and watching cartoons. He looked up at me and smiled, and
promptly spilled his cereal all over his lap. I couldn't help myself. I
burst out laughing, seeing the shocked expression on his angelic little
face. It was obvious that the milk was still VERY cold. He looked a little
pissed for a second, and then joined me in my hysterical fit. As we were
laughing, Joe came out of his bedroom, dressed in his work getup - slacks,
shirt, tie and a very mean looking pistol in a shoulder holster. When he
saw us, he just grinned and shook his head.

"I've got to go to work, guys," he said, still grinning as he walked out
the front door. "Please try not to kill each other or burn down the
neighborhood. I'll be home around eight this evening."

When he left, I helped Greg clean up his mess, and sat down at the kitchen
table with the phone and the lawyer's card. I was still sitting there,
staring at the card, when Ben wrapped his arms around my shoulders and laid
his head in the crook of my neck.

"Good morning, again, beautiful man," he whispered in my ear. "Are you
feeling better about your day?"

"You know, green eyes, I really am. I have a couple of calls I need to
make, and then I want to start the process of getting my shit out of that
house. I also need to go to the bank today, and get all of that taken care
of. I think I should start with the lawyer. What do you think?" I asked
him.

"I think," he said slowly, "that you are starting to heal a little bit." He
stayed behind me and continued to whisper in my ear. "I think you found a
reason to be OK again, and that you should go for it. I also think that if
Greg doesn't go play soon, he's gonna have a couple of tales to tell Dad
tonight, because I'm about to do things to you on this table that no little
brother should ever have to see!"