Date: Wed, 27 Jul 2005 07:33:51 -0400
From: Vance Lister <vlista20@hotmail.com>
Subject: Shane

                         Chapter 11


     Two days later Sam walked into Mr. Mason's office not caring about any
promises he'd made the truth was going to come out and it was gonna come
out now.
     "Sam." Don said not having much of a smile for anyone these day.
"What can I do for you?"
     "I'm here about Shane."
     Don motioned him into a seat having been out searching for him himself
as he'd not seen him anywhere in three weeks.  "Do you know where he is?"
     Sam immediately started to cry while he shook his head.  Don's heart
skipped few beats as he got up from his chair.  He walked over sat down by
Sam and put his hand on his knee.  "What is it Sam?" he was panicked
praying Sam would not tell him Shane was dead.
     Sam quickly composed himself enough to talk.  "He's been out at the
rest area past his place for a few weeks.  I've gone out there every time I
could get my mother's car but he wouldn't let me help him. He wouldn't even
talk to me.  Now I don't know where he is." Sam gripped the arms of the
chair tightly and lowered his head.  "He got kicked out of his house. He'd
been staying there.  He looked so bad." he looked up at Mr. Mason his eyes
fearful and full of desperation.  "It's like he's just waiting to die."
     Don swallowed hard his Adam's apple moving painfully up and down. He
took Sam's hand and pulled him up from the chair.  "We are just going to go
and find him."
     On the way out to the trailer park Sam filled Don in on what else he
knew about Shane's relationship with his father.  He told him about the
frequent beatings and the fact his father out and out told him he hated him
all the time.  He told him his father blamed him for his mother's death and
in turn Shane blamed himself.
     Don could not believe his ears he knew things were bad but had never
fathomed things could have been that bad.  His fear only grew worse as
Sam's story continued on that Shane would not be alive when and if they
ever found him.
     He pulled into the fourth trailers driveway in the park told Sam to
stay where he was then walked up the rotted steps and pounded on the door.
     "WHAT?" a woman with fiery red hair yelled out at him the second she
opened the door.
     "Where is Shane?" Don asked not even trying to sound polite.
     "Don't know where the god damn queer is.  He don't live here no more."
she started to close the door. Don put his and foot out to stop her which
only made her face much more pissed.
     "When was the last time you saw him?"
     "What are you a cop?"
     "No I'm his principal."
     She laughed in his face nearly losing the cigarette that was dangling
from her mouth.  "Then I'd say you should be the one who knows where he is.
I mean it is a school day." she gave the door one hard shove nearly
catching Don's hand in the door before he pulled it away at the last second
as the door slammed.
     Don turned back to the car.  Her saying cop giving him his next idea.
He drove back to town and pulled into the police station which was one of
the smallest buildings in town even though it shared it with the post
office.  Sam joined him into the building where one of Prescott's coves
three law men was reclining back in his chair with his feet up on a desk
that didn't even contain a computer.  It looked as outdated as one you
would see in an old west movie.
     The place was run down despite the fresh coat of paint that was
applied to the wall every year the old stains always popped right back
through.
     The officer jumped a little seeing them then sat up in his chair in a
feeble attempt to look important.  "Can I help you?"
     "I am here about a missing person."
     The officers eyes lit up in hopes of some action and he motioned them
into the two chairs in front of his desk. He pulled out an official police
form and readied his hand holding a pen over it.  "When was the subject
last seen?"
     Don looked over at Sam knowing he would be laughing real hard at this
Barney Fyfe acting officer if he weren't so worried about Shane.
     "I saw him three days ago."
     "Location?"
     "At the rest area just outside of town.  Route 15 the one Main street
runs into."
     The officer nodded and jotted that down.  "Age?"
     "15." Don answered.
     "Race?"
     "Caucasian."  He noted a small look of disappointed on 'Barney's'
face.
     "Height?"
     "Probably five feet seven or so."  The look only deepened.
     "Weight?"  The disappointment was now coming out in his voice and Don
wondered what in hell it was all about.
     "Well skinny." Don was no good at guessing weights and didn't even
try.
     The officer shook his head and sort of slammed his pen down on the
form.  "Answers..." he stopped and shrugged.  "Well sort of answers to the
name of Shane?"
     Don and Sam's eyes both lit up.  "You know where he is?"
     The officer nodded.  "He's here.  We picked up two days ago.  Was
sleeping in some dog house.  Owners of the dog and the house radioed it
in." He stopped talking and looked at them both skeptically.  "Are you
relations?"
     They both shook their heads.
     "Well then that's all the information I can give you."
     Don spent five minutes telling the officer of his intentions to take
Shane in and basically begging him to let him.
     It didn't take long for the officer to hold up his hand and relent.
"Okay, Okay, boy needs a place to go so I'll bend the rules this once.  He
was actually gonna be shipped off to child services tomorrow.  Boy doesn't
deserve to be in jail but no one wanted him so we had no other choice.
     Don put his hand on Sam's knee as Sam started to cry Don wanting to
cry right along with him.  "Don't his parents know he's here?"
     "Oh they know," the man dropped his hand onto the desk and shook his
head looking frustrated.  "They were there when we hauled him out of the
dog house completely unconscious insisted we bring him here.  Said they'd
tried to straighten the boy out but he was too far gone.  Was beyond any
reasonable hands discipline.  I'd say from the looks of him he got way more
then a reasonable hand of discipline."  He pulled a tissue from the box on
his desk and handed it over to Sam.  "Said he's queer you the boyfriend?"
     Sam looked at him in a mix of awe and disbelief at him just coming out
and asking that and using that word.  He'd said it kindly enough and Sam
just figured it must be ignorance on the officers part.
     Not waiting for an answer the officer spoke again.  "He ain't talkin'
much.  He was well on his way to starving to death when he got here.  If
the dog's owner hadn't called it in he'd surely have died by nightfall.  We
got some food down him though and he seems a bit perkier now.  Still
suggest you get him to a doctor real soon though.  Mind you I don't mean
perky as in happy or chatty just not so much on death's door."
     Another officer the one Shane referred to as Dudley walked into the
building.  'Barney' nodded to him then motioned over to Don and Sam.
"These two are here about the Campbell kid."
     The other officer's eyes lit up from their dark foreboding look they'd
just been.  He walked over and held his hand out to Don.  "Frank
Jefferson."
     Don introduced himself then Sam and Frank shook his hand as well.
'Barney' explained to Frank Don's intentions.  Frank looked even more
relieved and sat down on the corner of the desk.  "That's such great news.
Been wishing I could do something more for the boy myself.  I hate to see a
kid go into state custody.  Nothing more then prison for kids."
     Don could not imagine if they had waited another day before finding
him figuring it would be damn near impossible to get Shane out of State's
custody once he was in.  "Sam was telling me earlier that Shane's father
has been physically and mentally abusing him for years.  Are any charges
going to be brought up against him."
     Frank ran his finger along his lips sighed and then nodded.  "I've
been questioning neighbors and friends.  There's no doubt the abuse Shane
suffered was repeated and horrific.  I've been told so many horror stories
these last few days I've barely been able to sleep.  Seems he was kicked
out of the house most nights.  A neighbor said she'd seen him dozens of
times crawling out of that dog's house first thing in the morning.  The
last few months since the woman's moved into the house he's not been
allowed in the house until after everyone else goes to bed."
     "A few of the neighbors said he was dragged in a few evenings a week
then thrown back out half an hour or so later totally naked.  They said
they'd seen bruises and welts all over him before Shane got his clothes
back on."
     Sam cried harder and Don rubbed his back making a connection in his
head that this woman's arrival coincided with Shane's departure from
school.  He wondered why he'd been so stupid not to make such a connection
before but all he'd heard that day about Shane and his life was making him
feel damn stupid all over for not seeing any of it and not getting Shane
the fuck out of there sooner.
     "His father's boss said Shane was often dragged down to work on the
boat not so much recently but over the years.  Said his father always
smacked him around and never let him have any breaks or eat lunch in the
eight or ten hours he worked in a day.  We are trying to talk to the
woman's son who has been living in the same house with Shane for three
months now but she won't let us anywhere near him and him being a minor
there's nothing we can do."
     "His father is out fishing right now, left the morning we found Shane
in the dog house.  When he comes back we'll haul him down here and press
charges.  Don't think he'll be in jail long but we'll hold him as long as
we can."
     "That dog.." Frank laughed disbelievingly and shook his head.  "I
think that damn dog was trying to feed Shane.  The dog's food dish was
outside but when I crawled in there with my flashlight there were pieces of
his food right in front of Shane's mouth.  Like the dog had carried his
food in there for Shane to eat." He shook his head again and looked at Don.
"I know that sounds crazy but dammit I see no other way to explain it.  A
few of the neighbors said Shane played with the dog all the time.  That the
dog barked at everyone but never Shane.  The dog was barking like crazy the
morning we got the call though no one was passing by.  That's why the
owners went to see what was going on.  Which makes me think the dog was
only barking to get Shane help.  Sounds to me like this dog and this boy
have quite a special relationship."
     Don's heart quivered feeling some relief that Shane had not been
totally alone his whole life but the fact his only friend had been a dog
was just real sad.  "Is Shane free to go?  I mean can I just take him with
me now?"
     "Sure," Frank stood up and walked over to a file cabinet he pulled out
a thin file and pulled a paper out of that.  "I just need you to sign his
release. That way we have it on record that he left here safely."
     Don nodded and hurriedly signed the papers just wanting to see Shane
for himself and get him home where he was sure from now on his life would
be a thousand times better.
     "He ain't spoke a word since he's been here.  I hope you have better
luck with him then we have."
     Don nodded and shakily stood up with Sam.  They followed Frank through
a door behind the desk and into a hallway with four cells two on each side.
Frank led them to the last cell on the right where Shane was lying on his
side on the bed his arm hanging down off it staring blankly at the wall on
the other side of the cell.
     His head moved in their direction when the key turned in the lock
releasing the caged door that Frank opened.  He walked in followed by Don
and Sam and they all knelt in front of the bed.  Shane looked from one to
the other of them with no expression at all on his face.
     Don reached out and stroked his hand down over Shane's hair and the
side of his face.  "Your gonna come home with me now Shane.  For good.  No
more going home to your dad's."
     Shane's eyes fluttered and he put his hand in Don's.  Don helped him
up off the bed thanked the officer and the three of them walked back out to
Don's car.  Shane was walking just fine on his own but did not seem to want
to let go of Don's hand even when Don tried to sit him in the car.  He
looked at Sam then pulled his keys from his back pocket.  "Why don't you
drive I'll sit in back with him."
     On the drive out to his house Don studied Shane.  He looked like he
was deep in trance and not really even aware of what was going on around
him.  He looked like a starved person in a third world country that you see
on those half hour commercials asking you to send donations.  His face down
to his fingers the only other part of him Don could see that was not
clothed were so thin his skin was almost translucent.
     It looked as though he'd been given some clothing from maybe Good will
as he had on a pair of tan elastic waist pants with a drawstring and a dark
green sweatshirt.
     As soon as they walked into the door of Don's house Shane let go of
his hand and walked robotically up the stairs to the room he'd stayed in
previously.  Don watched him go in the room then heard the door close
behind him from the bottom of the stairs.
     He looked at Sam who was looking back at him worriedly.  "What's wrong
with him?"
     "I don't know," Don shook his head knowing Shane would need a shrink
as badly as he needed a doctor.  "I think maybe too much has happened to
him.  I think his mind has temporarily shut down." he went immediately to
the phone and called Shawna who after he explained what was going on said
she'd be over in half an hour.  He then called Tad who said he'd call his
shrink friend and send her over as soon as his friend could.
     Don made some coffee then sat down with Sam at the table.  "Shouldn't
we be up there with him?"
     "If he wanted to talk he'd have talked.  I think he needs some time to
himself to sort through all that's happened."
     "How long you been planning on taking Shane in?" Sam asked having
heard nothing of the sort before he said in the police station earlier.
     "I talked to Tad about it a couple months ago.  We both decided we
wanted to but didn't know Shane's life was so bad.  We both suspected of
course but needed more proof before we snatched him out of his house."
     "Tad?"
     Don bristled realizing he'd not yet told Sam he was gay and not at all
surprised that Shane had not said anything after all Shane had promised.
"Tad's my partner."
     Sam looked shocked, then amazed, then real happy.  A smiled as wide as
a clown's painted on smile enveloped his face. "God Mr. Mason, seems like
you should have told me that sooner.  All this time I thought I was dealing
with a hetero I just may have told you more if I knew you swung my way."
     Don's face turned red and he chuckled nervously at Sam's candidness.
"You're kidding I hope about the telling me more part.  I'd hate to think
you kept this from me just cause of my sexuality."
     Sam shook his head his happiness turning to guilt.  "No of course not.
I promised Shane.  I just kept telling myself every day that he'd snap out
of this." He cast a sidelong glance over to the wall that was blocking the
stairs from their view.  "But when I couldn't even find him I knew I had to
break my promise." tears started down his cheeks again and he put his head
down on the table and wrapped his arms around it.
     "I know it was wrong, I should have said something.  I was just scared
he was gonna get sent back home."
     Don put his hand on the base of Sam's head patting it.  "It's not your
fault son.  You did what you thought was best.  You kept checking on him
and you offered him all the help you could.  Just cause he wouldn't take it
doesn't make this your fault.  Shane is gonna be fine.  He just needs some
time."
     Sam shook his head between his arms.  "It's not his fault either." he
had thought that was what Don was saying and didn't think that was at all
right.
     "I'm not saying that Sam.  There are lots of people to blame here but
you and Shane are not them.  His father, the kids at school, his father's
new girlfriend, Derek, the fucking basket ball team.  They all made this
happen."
     Sam lifted his head and looked at Don.  "What happened between him and
Derek? Did it have something to do with the whole team?"
     Don nodded real surprised though not sure why that Shane had not said
what happened himself.  He had guessed since Shane had actually told him
about his father's abuse that he'd told him everything.  Though he wasn't
sure he should he told Sam what had happened on that Saturday back in
February.
     Sam cried all over again and shook his head several times.  "But that
was only like a week before we met."
     Don nodded.  "He recouped here for a week then went back to school, I
was shocked he went I wasn't gonna make him at least not right away.  But
he showed up on his own.  Said it wouldn't get any easier the longer he
waited so that's why he was there."
     Sam shook his head again and wiped at his eyes while still sniffling.
"I don't understand why he never told me.  I asked what happened with him
and Derek and he just said Derek up and left town.  Geesh I thought when he
started talking to me he was telling me everything.  Now after today, I've
learned so much more."
     "Well given what you've learned can you really blame him for not
telling everything?" Don asked thinking Sam was mad at Shane.
     "No of course not, I just wish he'd felt he could have told me.  I
thought he felt he could trust me."
     "I'm sure he did Sam.  He told you more then he's told anyone else.  I
had no idea about all that stuff you told me today.  He's a talented little
secret keeper he's been doing it his whole life it's not easy to suddenly
just spill all your guts.  I think just the fact he was trying so hard to
spill them with you shows he did trust you."
     They talked all afternoon.  Shawna showed up and spent an hour
upstairs then left saying she'd be back, she came back another hour later
with a bag of things from the pharmacy.  She sat down with Sam and Don and
started pulling them out.  "He needs to gain weight.  First and foremost
that is of the utmost importance.  His entire body is weak.  Every organ is
under strain.  Here are some vitamins and a nutritional drink he'll need
twice a day.  Just mix it with milk." she handed a large round canister
over to Don.  "It will super start his metabolism back up and revitalize
his energy.  Make sure he eats though." she said forcefully.  "This stuff
won't do it on it's own.  You'll need to take him to a therapist."
     Don nodded.  "I already have Tad working on that.  Did Shane talk to
you at all?"
     She shook her head looking very worried.  "He was scared of me though.
I could tell that.  He wasn't before I don't know what exactly made that
change but he did not want me to touch him."
     When Tad got home Hannah Wheeler the therapist was not too far behind.
Don drove Sam home and shortly after he got back Hannah came back down the
stairs.  "He won't talk." She said dropping down into a chair adjacent to
where Don and Tad were sitting on the couch.  "I can't give you much of a
diagnosis if he won't talk to me."
     Don spent close to half an hour explaining to her all that had
happened and all that he'd heard that day.  Hannah nodded occasionally
making several notes.  She asked several question most of which Don had no
idea of the answer he'd told her all he knew but her questions only brought
to life the reality of Shane's situation.  In that he'd been a victim of
abuse, and neglect his entire life.
     "Well I'm not sure what to do.  I'll keep coming and talking to him
but if he won't talk back my rambling's not gonna do much good.  My
suggestion for now is just to give him space.  If he wants to stay in his
room let him do it.  That's only temporary of course but I don't think
drilling this kid and making him do stuff he doesn't want to do it gonna
help him at all right now.  He needs to work things out in his own head
before he's gonna start letting other people help him the rest of the way."
     "If he's still like this in two weeks we'll come up with a more
aggressive plan.  I'm going to come by tomorrow and bring some anti
depressants.  That's one thing I'm absolutely sure of is that he's
depressed beyond measure.  Even if he could pull out of it on his own it
would be a hell of a job.  This will just make things a little easier on
him."
     "Do you think he's gonna try and kill himself?" Tad asked whose hand
was holding onto Don's tightly.
     "No, I think if he were suicidal he'd have had plenty of chances to do
it over the years.  I doubt very highly he's gonna try it now though he's
not communicating I have a hunch he knows things are changing."
     Shane did no talking at all in the next three days he ate his meals,
seemed to like when either Don, Shane or Sam held his hand but that was
basically it.  He didn't even get up to bathe which was something he was
adamant about doing the last time he'd stayed there.  Hannah said not to
worry about and not to push him.  She expected him to ease out of it on his
own well with a little help from the Paxil.  Her days with him which was
everyday consisted of her reading to him from a book titled 'why was I
abused.' to which Shane had not responded to at all.
     Nearing the last day of school Don finally saw Brian in the hall and
almost literally had to drag him into his office.  The kid was real scared
and it was written all over his face.
     He sat down and visibly trembled in his chair.  "Son, I'm not gonna
yell at you or anything.  You did nothing wrong.  Just relax a little
okay?"
     "I ain't supposed to talk to you.  Ma says I can't talk to no one."
     Don nodded hoping he could work around what 'Ma' said.  "Did you and
Shane get along?"
     Brian nodded.  "I think so.  I don't think he liked me much be he
never really showed it."
     "Did you like him?"
     "Yes, very much.  I wish he were still at home."  His eyes were
darting around the room so fast Don was thinking he must be getting dizzy.
     "So you care about his well being then right?"
     Brian gave him a hurt look.  "Well yes of course."
     "I'm asking cause Shane is not doing very well.  He's real depressed
and not talking to anyone.  No one knows what to do to help him cause he
won't say what really happened in his house.  I was hoping you may be able
to help.  So we can get Shane up and functioning again."
     "My ma would kill me." Brian shook his head his eyes filled with
tears.  "I want to help, I do." He grasped the arms of his chair tightly in
his hands and looked at Don desperately.
     "What you tell me will be our secret Brian.  I won't go to the police
and I would never tell your mother or Shane's father.  My only concern
right now is Shane I'm very worried about him."
     Tears streaked down Brian's cheeks and he slowly nodded.  "What do you
want me to tell you?"
     "First tell me how your mom and Shane got along?"
     "Shane hated my mom.  She kept trying things with him and he wouldn't
do it.  So she'd get him in trouble with his father cause she was pissed
and his father would strap him to his bed and beat him with his belt."
     "What things was your mother trying?" Don asked fearfully.
     "What she does.  You know what girls do with boys."  Brian knew the
proper word for it but did not feel comfortable saying it right out loud.
     Don suddenly bit down biting his tongue in the process filling his
mouth with the coppery taste of blood.  His mind was going in all
directions at once as sexual abuse was now added to the list of what Shane
had endured.  "Did she get her way with him Brian?"
     Brian nodded tears now dripping from his chin while more streamed down
his face.  "Ma didn't want Shane beat on the bed anymore.  So his father
tied the straps to the legs of the furniture."
     "What are you talking about Brian?  What straps?"
     "To hold Shane down.  He tied two to his wrists and his ankles to keep
him in place while he beat him."
     Wiping the back of his hand over his sweaty forehead Don swallowed
hard and nodded for Brian to continue not able to speak right then.
     "Well when Roger was gone Ma tied him down there too, Shane fought her
and lots of times he got free but after a while of no food and being beaten
all the time he got too weak.  She tied him down face up.  She took off his
pants and just sat down on it.  Shane couldn't do nothin' about it.  Even
if he had been strong enough to fight her off he was all tied down."
     Don who had put his hand over his mouth less then half way through his
story took deep breaths to settle his repulsed stomach.  He couldn't speak
for nearly a minute while Brian looked nervously at him through his tears
looking like he wanted to bolt from the room.
     "Was it your mom that kicked him out of the house?"
     "Well sort of.  My mom wouldn't let him in the house til after
everyone got to bed.  She told him he had to stay on the porch from when he
got home from school til the lights were out in the trailer.  He was only
allowed in long enough for her to do that to him when his father wasn't
home or when his father was home he was in long enough to get beat.  Other
then that he had to stay outside."
     "But he wasn't allowed to leave the porch?"
     "Well I guess he could leave the porch but he wasn't allowed to leave
the property.  She said he was diseased told him that and that she didn't
want him around me.  I wasn't even allowed to talk to him once she made him
start staying outside.  If I snuck him food Roger took his belt to me.  She
burned all his clothes but for some reason she still," he paused and moved
his hand a little.  "Well you know."
     "How are things going for you there now Brian?"
     Brian shook his head and stared down at the floor.
     "If they are hurting you, you need to tell me.  You will be put
someplace where you are safe."
     "I'm not supposed to talk about it sir.  If I do they'll find out and
they'll get me."
     "Brian the point of telling is so they can no longer get you." he
paused and studied Brian feeling very sure Brian was now getting the
treatment that Shane was no longer around to get.  "I promise you I'll see
that you are safe.  Don't let things get so bad that you lose your ability
to fight it.  Don't make me come down to a police station some day and find
you half dead."
     Brian cried harder and buried his face in his hands.  He leaned
forward and put his head to his knees.  Don stood up, walked over to him
and put his arms down around him.  "Please Brian this needs to stop they
can't hurt kids like they are."
     Brian put his hand up on Don's Bicep and pressed his cheek into his
chest he seemed to be holding on for dear life and Don could no longer keep
his tears back.  He brushed his hand along Brian's cheek wiping at his
tears with his thumb.  He held Brian for a long time before pulling away
only to kneel down in front of him.  He took both Brian's hands and looked
up into his wet eyes.
     "I need to call the police Brian.  Do you have any relatives you can
go and stay with?"
     Brian nodded.  "My gram and gramps live in the next town over."
     "So they will take you in?"
     He nodded again.  "They're my dads parents. They never wanted me
living with her in the first place.  But she won't even let me see them."
     "Do you know they're number?"
     "No, just they're names."  He watched Don wearily as he stood up his
eyes as wide as a deer's.  Don walked around his desk and grabbed a phone
book off the shelf.  Brian gave him the names and seconds later he was on
the phone with Esther Winchester.
     "Ma'am my name is Donald Mason, I'm the principal over at Prescott
Cove high where your grand son is attending."
     "Brian?" she asked sounding hopeful.
     "Yes ma'am.  I'm hoping he can come and stay with you.  Things are
getting pretty rough for him at home and he needs to get away." he
instantly heard the woman start crying softly into the phone.
     "Is he okay?" she asked timidly.
     "He's fine he's right here do you want to talk to him?"
     "Yes please.  And sir," she said before Don could pull the phone away
from his ear.  "I'll be over there in half an hour."
     Don thanked her again and handed the phone over to Brian who started
crying in full force all over again.  He didn't do much talking to her but
seemed more relaxed after he'd hung up.  Don took the phone back and called
the police asking for Frank in particular.
     Frank arrived within minutes and Brian told him everything he'd told
Don and more of what had been done to him including nightly beating with
the belt and not being able to eat.  He was also kicked out of the house
and not allowed in until the lights were out. He also told Frank his mother
and he had been having sex since he started kindergarten.
     Frank stood behind him.  "I'm gonna lift your shirt okay son?"
     Brian hugged his arms around his chest and nodded sending his tears
dripping off his chin.  Frank gently raised his shirt, Don did not need to
see it knowing it was real bad by the look on Frank's face.  Frank had him
remove his shirt altogether and took some pictures while Don averted his
eyes and looked down at his desk boiling over mad but damn glad something
would be done hopefully to Roger and his new woman.
     Shortly after Frank left Esther Winchester arrived and Brian ran into
her arms.  She held him tightly while tears poured down her own face.
Brian then hugged Don and thanked him profusely.  "You'll tell Shane I hope
he gets better for me?"
     "Sure," Don nodded and patted his shoulder.  "And you can come see him
any time you want.  We actually live in Cliff side."
     Brian's face lit up and Don gave Esther directions to his house.
"We'll bring him by this weekend if it's okay." She said resting her hand
gently against Brian's back.
     Don smiled. "That sounds great." he was very glad Brian had spoke up
as this woman seemed very sweet and was sure Brian would be well cared for.
     He was about to leave school to go and call Hannah when the gym
teacher and coach ran into his office wild eyed.  "Sir we have a big
problem, I think you'd better come with me."
     Don stood up in no mood for any more big problems and begrudgingly
followed Rick Summer down the hall through the gym, boys locker room and
into the weight room.
     He heard moaning and whimpering before he even walked in he pictured
some poor kid beat to shit in the corner but what he saw when he walked in
made him bust out laughing.  In the room six members of the basketball team
including Bart Knowlton and Randy Bardeaux were obviously stuck by some
unknown force to each of the weight machines.
     Rodney's arms were fastened high above his head to the metal bar that
held the weights on the bench press he was wriggling back and forth but
apparently his back was as stuck to the bench as his hands were to the bar.
     Bart was on the leg press his thighs lifted up but the skin was pulled
out long to where it was adhered to the seat all the way down to his knees
where his legs went down into the moveable part of the machine.
     Ken was stuck to the arm curl by his elbows and hands, while Barry was
flat on his stomach even his cheek stuck to the bench he was on.  John
Moore was stuck his knees far apart into the thigh machine and on the floor
below him were several pool balls.
     Don laughed harder and the looks he got increased in dirtiness.
     "They say it was those damn queers." Rick Sumner said also very
angered by Don's laughing.  "I want them all expelled."
     "Well," Don said starting a circle around the room where the boys were
all crying softly.  "That will depend on if the boys want to press charges
so to say."  He clasped his hands behind his back and looked into each of
their eyes as he made his revolution.
     "Of course they do." Rick sneered.
     Don held up his hand to him.  "Course they would have to realize
before they made this decision that they're lives would be held up under a
microscope should this go to court.  Maybe some past bad deeds or bad
decisions would come back to haunt them."  Don crossed his arms across his
chest wanting to make sure and drive his point home.  "You say it was the
queers?  Shane Campbell...." he stressed the name with all his being.
".....has not even been in school."  He circled the room again and saw
great fear in all the team members eyes.  He was certain he'd gotten his
point across and was dancing a jig of joy in his head.
     "So boys, you need to think if it's worth pressing charges for this
basically harmless though very funny prank."
     They all muttered.  Some shook they're heads and some outright said
no.  Rick started mouthing off and Don told him to take it up with the
school board if it came to it Don would sacrifice his job.  He no longer
cared to be at this school at all.
     Don walked off down the hall to call for help as the boys begged Rick
not to say anything after all it was just a prank Ha, ha, ha.  Don took his
sweet old time getting help and when it showed up they disassembled the
weight machines and the boys were helped out of school with weight machine
parts still stuck all over their bodies which was confirmed to be some type
of glue or rubber cement to be removed at the hospital.
     Don rang the fire alarm thinking it was a good time for a drill so all
the kids could see what was going on.  Just for fun.  He stood in his
office door and held in his hearty laughter as kids laughed and pointed at
the basket ball team tears still streaming down their faces being helped
out of the school with benches, bars and even weights stuck all over their
bodies.
     Don did leave school then and laughed all the way home he'd hadn't
laughed in weeks and this laugh made up for all those missed ones.  He
couldn't wait to see Sam but more important he had to talk to Hannah who he
figured may be at the house.
     He found her reading to Shane who was lying on his bed facing away
from her staring at the wall with the same blank look he'd had for three
days.  He motioned her out and led her down stairs.  He told her all he'd
found out that day and she let out a long sigh.  "I'm getting nowhere with
him. He's more scared of me then anything.  I'm gonna refer him to my
colleague.  He's more experienced with victims of child abuse and from what
you just told me I think he may respond more with a man."
     Tad and Don talked long into the night about what else they could do
to help Shane snap out of his deep depression.  The next morning Don called
in sick to work again while Tad stayed home with Shane he went to town to
hopefully get their plan into action.  He stopped at the bank and withdrew
five hundred dollars praying he wouldn't need it all but knowing he would
use it if he had to.
     He drove out to the trailer park and into the first trailer's
driveway.  Don got out and walked over to the dog a large German Shepard
who did not bark when his car pulled in, he got out or as he was walked
over to him.  The dog was lying on the ground and looked at Don through the
tops of his eyes.  Don bent down and patted the top of his head.  "You
lonely boy?"
     The dog whimpered slightly and lifted his head from the ground he set
his chin on Don's knee then started sniffing him intensely.  He got more
into it and got more excited as his whimpers sounded more of excitement now
then sadness.  He got to his feet and ran into his house he came back with
a chewed up ball.  A ball that looked very much like the ones Shane had
carried around for so long.
     He dropped the ball below Don's feet then wagged his tail and looked
up at Don.
     "My God." Don said aloud unable to believe the look he was sure he was
reading on the dog's face.  He suddenly was very sure that through the
dog's sniffing he'd detected Shane's scent and was now letting Don know he
wanted to see Shane.  "You are one God Damn smart dog aren't you?" he half
expected the dog to nod it's head.  "Well let me see what I can do." he
patted the top of the dog's head then walked up the steps of the trailer.
     The door was jerked open and a lady with her hair in curlers and a
hair net on yelled out "WHAT?" he wondered if that was the standard
greeting around this town.
     "Ma'am.  I'm here with kind of a strange request."
     "What the fuck is it?"  Her lips were painted a slutty red and when
she pulled her cigarette out of her mouth it's filter was covered in the
goupy lipstick.
     Don took a deep breath.  "I'd like to buy your dog."
     Her eyes widened and her face lost some of it's sneer.  She put the
cigarette back to her mouth and drew a long drag while eyeing him from head
to toe.  "What kinda money we talking?" She blew her smoke back in his face
as she pulled the cigarette away.
     Don stopped himself from fanning it away.  "A hundred dollars."
     Her eyes lit up even more.  "Two hundred."
     Don hesitated only to sway her from going higher.  "Okay I think I can
do two hundred."
     She held out her hand palm up and moved her fingers back and forth in
a 'give it to me' manner.  Don pulled two bills from his back pocket and
handed them to her.  She flexed them in her hands then held them up to the
sunlight.  He figured she didn't have a clue what she was looking for but
let her do it.
     "You got him." She said and slammed the door in his face.
     He heard her hooting and hollering inside saying she was rich then
telling her husband to get his walking shoes on cause she wanted a bottle.
     Don shook his head and smiled glad he was not her husband and ecstatic
he could take the dog home with him. He unhooked his chain and opened the
back door.  The dog bounded up inside then started sniffing the back seat
frantically focusing his attention to the spot Shane had sat in four days
earlier.
     He pulled onto Marlin lane a couple minutes later and screeched the
car to a stop seeing Matt Whitney walking down the road.  Matt jumped and
turned to the car then bent down as Don rolled down his window.  "Ahh come
on sir, it's the last day of school and I only left a little early.  Well
okay I didn't go at all but we don't do nothing but sit around and pick our
noses all day on the last day anyways."
     "I'm not here for that Matt.  Can you get in a minute?"
     Matt looked a little weary but nodded and got in.  "You gonna tell my
mom or something?"
     "I told you, you are not in trouble."
     Matt chuckled and moved his shoulder to his ear as the dog started
sniffing him.  "I like your dog sir."  He said stroking his neck.
     "It's not my dog it's Shane's dog."
     "I didn't know Shane had a dog?" Matt's face lit up at just the
mention of Shane's name.  "how's he doing?  Sam's real worried. Well for
that matter I am too."
     "He's not doing to well but he'll be okay I imagine."
     "Really sucks you know, I couldn't believe it when Sam told me all
that happened.  I mean I always thought Shane was weird but that was only
before I got to know him.  He's a real nice kid.  It's too bad everyone's
got to be such assholes."  He closed his mouth then put his hand over it.
"Sorry didn't mean to swear."
     Don shook his head and patted Matt's knee.  "I just wanted to talk to
you to commend you on a job well done yesterday in the weight room."
     Matt's eyes widened and his hand dropped from his mouth.  "You mean we
ain't in trouble for it?"
     "No way." Don started chuckling again just thinking back on it.  "It's
a real good thing what you did.  I mean you didn't think the fire alarm
just rang by coincidence did you."
     "You pulled it?" Matt was laughing now and he put his head back
against the head rest the dog still sniffing obscuring Don's view from him.
Matt made a spitting noise and pulled his head back up.  "Dog's trying to
french kiss me.  Must be Shane's dog." he laughed again and Don laughed
right along with him really liking this kid and wishing he'd gotten to know
him sooner then this.  "So can I come out and see Shane sometime?  Is it
alright?"
     "sure I think that's a good idea."
     Matt nodded and reached for the door handle.  "I wish I could today
but my boyfriend is picking me up in like three minutes.  We are playing
hooky together.  It's his last day of school too."
     Don nodded commending him again then Matt got out of the car and waved
as Don pulled away.  When he and the dog walked into the house the dog
sniffed at the air then took off up the stairs.
     Tad was sitting in a chair in Shane's room when the dog came bounding
in and jumped up on the bed.  He straddled Shane who was on his side and
licked frantically at his face constant whimpers coming from deep in his
throat as he licked.
     Tad nearly dropped his book as he heard Shane start to chuckle then
watched as Shane's hand came up and started patting the dog's head between
his ears.  Don walked into the room and grabbed the door frame seeing Shane
smiling under the dog.  Tears streaked down his face and he looked over at
Tad whose face was tear covered as well.
     Shane rolled onto his back and sat up wrapping his arms around the
dog's neck and burying his face in his fur.  They heard his crying but it
didn't last very long.  He pulled his face out of Shep's neck and kissed
him on the nose having thought he was never going to see his best friend
again.  He looked from Don over to Tad wondering how long he'd been at
their house.
     "What am I doing here?" He asked looking in confusion as Shep settled
in across his lap.
     Don wiped the back of his arm across his face and sat down beside him.
"You are going to live here now Shane.  From now on.  You are never going
to have to go back home again."
     His tears which had barely dried up started in full force again.  This
news was absolutely wonderful though he was fearful Tad and Don would
someday grow tired of him too and kick him out on his ass again.  He pushed
that thought down for the moment and smiled.  "I think I'd like that."
     Don smiled and squeezed his hand.  "Well we sure know we'd like that.
We've wanted to for while but couldn't cause we had no proof of what was
happening with you at your house."
     Shane looked down at Shep who was lying contentedly on him.  "You
mean..." he paused and sighed then looked over at Tad for a moment who
smiled warmly at him.  He looked back at Don.  "You mean that's what you
were talking about all that time?  About me talking to you and maybe you
could help."
     Don nodded.
     "Oh shit." Shane felt so stupid as he shook his head he could have
taken a belt to himself.
     Don squeezed his hand tighter.  "Don't be hard on yourself Shane.
There was so much going on.  You couldn't have been expected to know I was
on your side."
     "I did know it." he said adamantly.  Then much quieter he added.  "I
guess I just didn't know how much."  He looked down at Shep for a long time
then back up at Don.  "Is he here for good?  Like me?"
     Don nodded.  "Sure is.  He's always been your dog hasn't he?  I think
he should continue to be your dog."
     Shane smiled down at Shep as more tears coursed down his cheeks.  He
and Shep were really gonna be together.  Just like his dream, he thought as
he scratched Shep behind his ears.
     "Do you have a name for him or should we just call him the dog."
     Shane grinned.  "I call him Old Shep, like the movie I guess.  Or
maybe it's a song I don't know." he shrugged.  "I don't know what his real
name is."
     Don ran a hand through Shane's greasy hair.  "I'd say his real name is
Shep I'll bet he's been called that way more then what his real name is."
     "Yeah, his parents didn't pay much attention to him.  I think they
just got him to watch their dumpy trailer."
     "Well the woman wasn't very sociable."
     "I'm surprised she talked to you at all.  Usually she's half comatose
from all her drinking."
     "Well it was early."
     Shane grinned again and nodded.
     It took three days for Shane to wander out of his room and then it was
only to take a shower after a lot of convincing from Don and Tad.  After he
was done showering he pulled on a clean pair of pajamas and hurried back to
his room Shep right on his heels.  Shep had stayed right by his side
leaving only long enough to go outside to do his business.
     Tad even took to feeding him in Shane's room since the food went
untouched down in the kitchen.
     Shane crawled back into bed and snuggled in Shep joining him as soon
as he was situated.  "What do you think Shep?" he asked lifting Shep's head
up with his hand that was under his chin.  "You spose we are really gonna
get to stay here?"  Though he desperately wanted to Shane refused to make
himself comfortable in this place his fear of pissing some one off was so
great he refused to relax in the fact that things maybe were turning around
like Don had said.
     He knew he was the same person his father, Medusa and 98 percent of
the kids at school hated and felt kinda sorry for Tad and Don for taking
him in.  He figured if he stayed right here in this bed and in this room
and didn't let anyone really get to know him that he may get to stay.
     He was sure he didn't want to go home.  That woman had taken every
last ounce of his self respect and he did not want to return to a place
that deeply haunted his dreams.  He could see her horrid face eyes closed
mouth open emitting moans every time he closed his eyes.  He could see her
bathrobe hanging open and her sagging breasts bouncing up and down every
time she bounced up and down on him.  He never looked lower then that never
wanted to see where part of his body disappeared into hers.
     He felt dirty and shameful and feared that would repel people even
more then he repelled them before.  He figured safest thing to do was not
open himself up to anyone and hopefully hide how despicable he really was.
     He pulled his head out of Shep's neck and peeked over his head hearing
the door open.  He smiled politely to not appear rude as Sam walked in.
"You look a hell of a lot better." Sam said smiling widely.  He walked over
and put his arms around Shane and Shane pulled away wrapping his arms
around his chest.
     Sam took a deep breath figuring he shouldn't have been so forward but
having wanted to hug Shane for a very long time. He sat down on the edge of
the bed on the other side of Shep.  "I'm sorry I haven't been here.  Me and
my mom went up North.  I didn't know or else I would have told you.  And I
didn't know Don's number."
     "So you're moving then?" Shane was very relieved at this.  Sam was so
pushy always wanting him to talk.  And now that he'd vowed not to let
anyone find out how he really was he could no longer talk to Sam about any
of the stuff Sam wanted to talk about.
     Sam nodded sensing Shane was not at all upset about it.
     "We leave next week.  But I'll come every day and visit you between
now and then. And call you every day after we go."
     "Your mom's gonna be real pissed when the phone bill comes in." he saw
the hurt look in Sam's eyes and felt bad about that but he was protecting
Sam as much as he was protecting himself.  No one should have to suffer
being with him and it was just best to get it out in the open.
     "Don't you care I'm leaving Shane?  Aren't you gonna miss me at all?"
     Shane couldn't just leave it at that.  "I'll miss you Sam. I just
think it's best this way.  You could be much happier with someone else.
Don't hold yourself back.  You are a great person and deserve to be with
someone great."
     "You are great Shane." he put his hand on Shane's and Shane snatched
it away.
     "Just go Sam." he said coldly.  "Don't call and don't come back over.
I just told you it's best this way.  It's over that's it."
     Sam shook his head.  "I'm not gonna give up Shane you won't be able to
push me away like this."
     Shane's anger seized through him. "I'll push away who ever I fucking
want to push away.  Don't you threaten me you God Damn shit."  He reached
over Shep and pushed Sam roughly knocking him off the bed.
     Sam caught himself before he hit the floor and stood up.  "Okay Shane
if that's what you want." he was not gonna give up but didn't dare press
the issue just now as Shane obviously was in no mood to hear it.


                         Chapter 11b


     Two weeks later Larry Minot walked back down the stairs and joined Don
and Tad in the livingroom.  He sat down in the chair he'd been occupying
for two weeks after his talks with Shane.  He put his hand on his forehead
then dropped it down to his lap and let out a long sigh.
     "He's not getting any better and he's still not talking to me." he
leaned forward and held up a chubby finger that was chubby like the rest of
his body.  Not all out fat just what some people would call pleasingly
plump.  "But in all his pointless rambling I think I've cracked a clue."
     Don and Tad both leaned forward as well as this was the first clue
anyone had cracked.
     "We already know he has low self esteem issues.  But I think we were
all misjudging just how low they actually are.  I get the feeling he's
hiding up there in his room cause he doesn't want you guys to see anything
about him you don't like and in turn kick him out.  He's keeping his
opinions and his feeling to himself cause he thinks they are worthless and
stupid and will only be rejected if someone actually sees him that
closely."
     Don ran his hand down over his face and shook his head.  "What do we
do?"
     "He's got to have proof that he's not as bad as he thinks he is.  He's
got to see he's not a freak.  I think you should start making him get up.
Keep him around the house or just outside at first but get him doing
things.  Keep his mind busy with goals he could feel proud of himself of in
the end.  Like making a garden, building a dog house.  Something where he
can easily see the results of his work."
     Don and Tad both nodded feeling that was a very good idea they had not
liked the whole let him be idea much at all.
     "He may not be too happy with being forced out of bed every day at
first but in time when he's feeling better he just may thank you."
     After seeing Larry to the door Tad sat back down by Don on the couch.
He looked over at the grandfather clock in the corner then back at Don.
"Well it's only noon now.  Let's drag him down here for some lunch and
start with a walk on the beach."
     Don nodded.  "Sounds good.  You get lunch I'll get Shane."  He pecked
him on the lips then took off up the stairs.  Shane was not in his room and
he walked over to the bathroom and could hear the shower running.  He
looked down at his feet and could see Shep's tongue darting out under the
door apparently sensing he was there.  Don smiled and shook his head the
dog only having proved how smart he was to everyone over the past couple of
weeks.
     His main concern was most obviously Shane he was never more then a few
feet from him and doted over him more then a mother over a newborn.  They
all suspected the dog was fully aware of what Shane had lived through and
was making his job to see anything like that never happened again.  He
imagined if the dog hadn't been tied up all those years Roger would have
been the victim of a vicious dog attack maybe even fatal one.
     He went back to Shane's room and made up the bed then sat on it and
waited another couple minutes before Shane walked in, in a Tank top and
shorts.  Tad and Don had picked out a few clothes for him wanting to wait
to get the bulk of them when Shane could pick them out himself.
     Shane stopped and looked at him just inside the door.  "You'll want to
put your shoes on too.  We are gonna go for a walk today.  It's way too
nice a day to spend in bed."
     He did not look one bit happy about this but went to the closet and
pulled out his new pair of Reebok's.  He sat on the floor and spent a few
minutes lacing them up as they were not laced at all from never being worn.
Shep of course 'observed'.  Shane looked up while tying.  "Can he come
too?" he asked nodding to Shep.
     "Of course."
     "You sure say 'of course' a lot."
     "Does it bug you?"
     Shane shrugged and shook his head though he was beginning to wonder if
he'd ever be told 'no' in this place.  "Tad coming too?"
     Don nodded.
     Shane stood up and adjusted his feet a few times getting the feel of
his new shoes.  He looked down at Shep who was adjusting his own feet
excitedly and looking up into Shane's face. "Get your ball."
     Shep nearly did a somersault in turning around then ran to the other
side of the room he stuck his head under the bed and came back out with the
ball a second later.  Don shook his head again amazed with the dog and
stood up.
     They had sandwiches and Soda Shane eyeing them both curiously looking
from them to Shep.  He wanted to test out something but was scared to death
to do it but at the same time a little scared not to.  He reached into his
sandwich and pulled out a good size chunk of Macaroni and cheese loaf held
it up in the air making sure Tad and Don saw it then held it over to Shep
who snatched it into his jaws.
     "What are you doing?" Tad asked definitely befuddled.
     "Do you not like it when I feed the dog at the table?"  Shane was
eyeing him so closely it made both Tad and Don a little nervous.
     "No not really."
     "So then you would yell at me if I did?"
     "Well I wouldn't yell Shane.  I'd just ask you not to."
     Shane considered this for few minutes remembering his mother of his
dreams never really 'yelled' so to say in his dreams at feeding the dog at
the table but she certainly made it known she did not like it.  He pulled
another piece of meat out of his sandwich and fed it to Shep then looked
immediately at Tad who looked more confused now then anything.
     His heart sank a bit and he furrowed his brow.
     Tad started to grin a bit.  "Do you want me to yell at you or
something?"  It was the only way he could come up with to explain Shane's
peculiar expression.
     Shane shrugged it off having no intention of saying what he was up to.
He noticed the look Don and Tad exchanged and wanted to retreat back to his
room as apparently he'd already annoyed them.  He took another bite forcing
himself to stay though the rest of the sandwich tasted like little more
then rubber.
     The rubber taste reminded him of Sam he and was instantly off in a day
dream.  He missed Sam terribly but still knew he was doing what was right.
He only wished things could have been different.  He was horny as hell
which was the only reason he'd started showering again.  It hid the
evidence of his nightly jerk off sessions and he wanted neither Tad or Don
to realize what a pervert he was.  He figured he was safe from Medusa now
but even if he hadn't been sure he probably would still be showering since
his strive to hide his shame was his most important goal now.
     He jerked his arm violently to one side feeling someone touching him.
He was so lost in his day dream he'd totally forgotten where he was.  His
arm in it's moving across the table knocked his soda over and sent it
splashing all over the table then dripping down to the floor.
     He jumped up from the table at the same time Tad did.  He grabbed his
napkin and made a dam to stop it from dripping onto the floor then stood
there helpless having nothing else to wipe it with.
     Tears burned at his eyes wondering why he was ever let out into public
in the first place.  Tad returned to the room with two towels and put one
on the floor and one on the table.  Shane stepped back to make a quick
retreat to his room, he stumbled over Shep and fell backwards smashing into
the wall on the way down.  His tears came out in earnest at his inability
to even walk right.
     Don was up from his chair and leaning over him in an instant.  "Shane
are you okay?" he reached out and held his wrist.
     Shane quickly pulled it away cursing his tears as much as himself.
"Don't touch me." he was angry and it was coming out in his voice.  He
hated that cause he knew he was only mad at himself and didn't need to add
to this fiasco by being an ass to Don.  Before he could make things any
worse he rolled onto his stomach quickly got to his knees and ran upstairs.
Shep was on his heels and once his tail cleared the bedroom door he slammed
it with all his might.
     He threw himself on the floor and started banging his head into it
trying to knock some sense into himself as he could apparently not even act
like a decent human being anymore no matter how hard he tried.  He punched
himself in his sides while his head nailed the floor.
     Shep was barking over him and he told him to shut up repeatedly.  Shep
stopped barking and latched onto the back of Shane's shirt by the neck.  He
pulled up and back now growling.
     Don ran into the room saw what was going on and called to Tad.  He got
on the floor in front of Shane and held his forehead up off the ground with
one hand and stopped a fist from punching himself with the other.  Shane
cried and struggled against him but didn't make any move to hit him to get
free.  Tad ran into the room and knelt down by Don holding Shane's other
arm firmly
     After several minutes Shane exhausted himself and lay still on the
floor.  Don looked over at Tad.  "Maybe you better call Larry."
     Tad nodded in full agreeance.  He got up and left the room again
coming back a couple minutes later where Don had rolled Shane over and was
stroking his hand across a red and bruising forehead.  His nose was
bleeding or had been as it looked like the blood that was below his nose
was already congealed.  Shane's eyes were open but he looked too exhausted
to talk.
     Don put his hands up under Shane's armpits and pulled him back across
the floor.  He lowered him down so his head and shoulders were on his lap
and wiped at his own eyes so the tears that were falling would not land on
Shane's face.  "Is he coming?" Don asked looking up at Tad who knelt down
by Shane's side.
     "He's on his way."
     Shane kinda moaned and a single tear slide down the side of his face
over his temple.  "I don't want to talk to that man." he said very quietly.
     Tad put his hand on Shane's chest and looked into his desperate
eyes. "You have to Shane.  You need to work out whatever is going on in
your head.  You don't really want to hate yourself forever do you?"
     Shane turned his head and faced the wall knowing no matter how much he
talked to that man that drilled him with questions every other day he would
not ever stop hating himself.
     He rolled over and got on his knees then stood and walked over to the
bed he unmade it then crawled under the covers burying himself despite the
incredible heat in the room from the incredibly hot mid June day.

     It was three days later before they got Shane to leave his room again.
This time they fed him breakfast in bed then forced him into the shower
which didn't really take much forcing.
     Once he came downstairs they walked out of the house and out behind
it.  Shane stopped at the edge of lawn and took a long deep breath.  Out
before him was ocean as far as his eyes could see.  Beautiful blue ocean
with white caps where it passed over rocks or crashed into them below.
About one hundred feet directly below the rock cliff they were standing on
was a mostly sand beach with a few large rocks scattered here and there
across it.
     "Well what do you think?" Tad asked seeing Shane looked mesmerized.
     Shane shook his head finding himself quite speechless.  He cleared his
throat and took a deep breath.  "I didn't know you guys lived right on the
ocean."  He wondered how he could be so dumb as to not to know he'd been
there a month plus a week back in winter.
     "Come on." Don said.  Taking him by the elbow he led him over to a
long and winding stairway that went down the side of the cliff.  He'd not
really let Shane out of his sight in the last three days.  Even when he
slept at night Don checked on him every hour.  Larry had said he probably
would try and hurt himself again.  That he thought he would only do it when
he was frustrated but the fact he'd done it once he just didn't think it
would be an isolated incident.
     He had a couple explanations for it.  Neither of which Don had liked
the sounds of.
     They started down the stairs Tad in front Shane behind him then Don
with Shep bringing up the rear his ball in his mouth apparently hoping for
a good game of fetch.  He watched the back of Shane's head wishing he could
get in there himself and straighten it out.
     Larry's first explanation for Shane's behavior was that he was just
plain pissed at himself for the incident at lunch prior to it.  He said
Shane probably felt he was incapable of being in human contact but was
trying to put up a good front.  When he'd spilled his soda then fell he had
thought he couldn't even manage that and was so pissed from that and all
the other things he had to be pissed about that it got completely out of
control and he had an all out temper tantrum.
     The other explanation was that Shane had been punished for so long so
often that he still felt he needed to be punished and since no one was
around to do it he was gonna take on the roll himself.
     Larry had only reinforced his earlier notion of forcing Shane out of
the house and getting him doing things that would interest him.  To get his
mind off his anger, he said that would be handled in sessions and didn't
need to be dwelled on which was what Shane seemed to be doing day after day
in bed.
     They reached the beach and Shep immediately dropped his ball at
Shane's feet.  Shane reached down and picked it up without taking his eyes
off the ocean.  He was completely mesmerized by it.  Even back on his beach
in Prescott Cove there were islands marring the view, but here there was
nothing but vast ocean.  The cool breeze was stronger here too.  And the
smell of cool salt air was making him feel better then he had in months.
     He drew his arm back and tossed the ball with all his strength Shep
bounded off after it and he smiled god damn glad he and Shep were together
now.  They walked down the beach Tad and Don talking non stop about things
that had happened on the beach while they'd lived there.  Such as finding a
baby seal, a yacht crashing to shore in a strong winter storm, and the time
the water was so high it went up to the tenth stair that wound up the side
of the cliff.
     "Could you imagine," Shane said excitedly.  "If the water just went to
the top of the cliff.  If you got up one day and it was just up there?" he
was looking up to the top of the cliff then shivered thinking maybe that
would be kinda scary.
     After leaving the beach a couple hours later they sat in chairs up on
the cliff over looking the water.  "You've got to decide something Shane."
Don said looking over at him beside him stroking Shep's head that was
resting on his thigh.
     "I want to stay here." Shane said quickly not taking his eyes from the
water.  "I know I've been bad but I'll be better I promise." as he spoke
tears started down his face again.  "Please don't make me leave." He did
not want to leave this ocean and would do whatever it took to get to stay
plan or no plan.
     Don looked over at Tad wanting to smack himself upside the head for
wording his statement like that.  "We don't want you to leave Shane I told
you, you are gonna stay here from now on.  You could scream and yell and
burn the house down but we'd still want you around." He reached out and
took Shane's trembling hand.  "Please don't burn it down though."
     Through his misery Shane grinned.  God he liked this man.  He just
wish he were worthy of all his kindness.
     "What we merely want you to decide is what you want to do.  Something
that you are interested to keep you out of your damn room and your mind
occupied with other things.  I have a couple suggestions."
     Shane looked over at him curiously thinking perhaps this was a good
idea.
     "First one is to build a dog house for Shep."
     "You ain't gonna make him sleep outside are you?" he asked not even
trying to hide his panic.
     "No of course not.  But don't you think it would be nice for him to
have his own little place to go?  What's he gonna do all day when I go back
to work and you go back to school in the fall."
     Shane's eyes widened as his panic deepened.  "I don't wanna go back to
school sir, I hate that place."
     "I know, but you won't be going to the same school.  You will be going
to the one if Cliff side."
     "You mean the tourist town that is a gay mecca?"
     Tad chuckled.  "Where in hell did you hear that?"
     Shane turned and looked at Tad.  "Seth Greenway.  He's Matt's
boyfriend he goes to school there.  Say's it's great.  Says compared to
Prescott Cove it's like a mecca of gays."
     "Well there certainly are more, and they certainly are much more
tolerable even downright friendly."  Tad smiled fondly realizing whoever
this Seth Greenway was he was right.  "Yes, I guess you could call it a
mecca and it's definitely a tourist town."
     "You work there then?"
     "Yes, I own an antique shop.  We have it all planned out.  You can
ride with me to school in the morning then come to my shop when school
let's out.  Unless of course you want to go out with your friends but
you'll have to meet me there by five thirty to get a ride home."
     Shane nodded and looked back out at the ocean knowing he would just go
to the shop cause mecca or no mecca he didn't expect to have any friends.
He turned back to Don.  "What's my other choice?"
     "Plant a garden."
     Shane's eyes lit up.  That would be fun.  "Do I have to choose or can
I do both?"
     "Both." Don smiled unable to hide his excitement at Shane's willing
ness even apparent joy at doing these things.
     That very afternoon they went into town and Shane picked out several
flowers for his garden listening intently to what the nursery owner said
about perennials and annuals.  He decided to go with perennials so he could
redesign his garden every spring and picked out several brightly colored
flowers as well as some greenery to fill in.
     For three days he worked steadily from after breakfast til around
five.  He started by taking away the grass with a spade and wheelbarrow
leaving himself a good six by six foot garden close enough to the edge of
the cliff so he could see the ocean and feel it's breeze while he worked
but not so close that the flowers would lose nutrients in the dried out
sides of it.
       He softened the soil working it with a hoe and three pronged rake
for an entire day then worked in fertilizer the next entire morning.  At
lunch he was down right bubbly in his behavior rambling on and on how he
was ready to put the flowers in.  Don listened intently thinking Shane
sounded very much like a little boy deciding what he wanted for Christmas
presents in the way he described how he would arrange his flowers.
     The next day at shortly after eleven seeing from the kitchen window
that Shane was putting his last flower in Don walked out of the house and
over to his garden.  The flowers were arranged geometrically around the
garden the most contrasting colors closest together.  There were blues,
purples, yellows, oranges, reds and the green.  It was an extremely
beautiful garden with not one bit of earth showing down between the
flowers.
     Shane mounded the dirt around the last planted flower.  "It's very
beautiful Shane."
     Shane's head shot up his eyes narrowed and his jaw set in a straight
line.  "Shut the fuck up." He stood threw his hoe across the lawn then
stormed down the steps on the side of the cliff Don hearing him mumbling
curse words til he was out of earshot.
     Don walked to the cliff's edge and watched Shane throw the ball to
Shep for a good half hour.  He hated to see Shane go through this hell of
his moods changing so fast no one was ever prepared.  He imagined Shane
himself was not prepared for them and had little control over them at this
point in his therapy.
     Larry said it was damn near impossible for him to focus his anger
until he started to communicate so they could work through just who he
should be angry at.  Until that time, Larry had said, he's gonna continue
to be mad at himself.
     Don walked back into the house sure he was gonna be eating lunch
alone. He was halfway through his sandwich when a knock came on the door.
He called out for whoever it was to come in then looked over at the
doorway.
     He smiled happily seeing Matt Whitney walk in with another very
handsome young man.  "Hey," He said motioning them over to the table.  "I
was thinking you'd dropped off the face of the earth."
     Matt smiled apologetically pulled out a chair for his friend then sat
down in the next over.  "Sir this is Seth, my...well partner as you old
people call it."
     Don grinned and shook Seth's hand.  "My name is Don not sir, I've
heard Shane mention your name.  What grade you in?"
     "Gonna be a senior come fall."  Seth in Don's eyes was one very
gorgeous young man.  If he were twenty years younger he knew he'd be
drooling all over this well tanned strong featured and muscular young man.
Matt himself was very nice looking one of the cutest Don had always thought
of the kids at Prescott High but compared to Seth even he looked a little
plain.
     "Shane is gonna be going to your school this year."
     Seth's face immediately lit up.  "Well that's great news." Then
apparently knowing where Don was heading said.  "Don't you worry sir, I'll
keep my eye on him make sure he gets some good friends and doesn't get
picked on by the few asses there."
     Don smiled liking Seth as much as he had like Matt and Sam.  "Shane is
down on the water.  He's pissed off today I'm afraid so if you are gonna go
talk to him use caution."
     "How's he doing?" Matt asked cautiously.
     "He's had good days and bad days.  He's not talking out his problems
so progress has been real slow."
     Matt nodded looking understandably worried.  He started to stand from
the table along with Seth then looked back down at Don.  "What's all that
lumber for outside?  Are you building something?"
     "Shane is gonna build a dog house."
     "Oh yeah," Matt's eyes lit up.  "You spose he'd let me help?  I love
building stuff."
     "I don't know you are gonna have to ask him.  Press him on it though,
I'm sure he could use some help."
     Matt nodded took Seth's hand and they left the house.  Don got up and
went and looked out the kitchen window.  He smiled as they walked side by
side their hands tightly clasped together.  They were a stunning couple and
he remembered how he and Tad had been when they were only a little older
then these two.
     He watched them stop and look at the flower garden then look at each
other and smile he was pretty sure they found it as beautiful as he had.

     Shane was in mid throw when he heard someone come up behind him.  He
turned his head his arm still in mid air with Shep still staring anxiously
at the ball in his hand.
     Seth and Matt walked up and stopped beside him.  Shane turned his face
forward and wound the ball out for Shep.  "What are you doing here?" he
asked trying like hell to keep his voice neutral.
     "We just came to visit.  I've been meaning to come out.  This is the
first chance I got."
     Shep bounded back with the ball and Shane took it from his mouth as he
nodded.  He didn't really want to see these boys their presence just
reminding him of how much he missed Sam.  He flinched when Matt said his
name.
     "Sam says you won't talk to him." his voice was cautious though still
very kind.  "He's real upset. You know he loves you a whole lot."
     Shane snapped his head over in Matt's direction and glared at him.  "I
already told Sam the way it has to be and I don't feel like fucking
rehashing it all with you."
     Matt nodded and smiled what he hoped was a casual smile.  "Sorry Shane
just thought you might like to know."
     Taking the ball back from Shep's mouth he threw it out again.  "So
what do you want?" he kept his eyes on Shep knowing he would have more
trouble being cool to them if he were looking at them.
     "Just to visit Shane.  Geez would you stop being such an ass.  We
wouldn't show up here if we didn't like you.  I don't know what is going on
in your head but I can assure you we are not here to mess with you or run
back to Sam with a report."
     Shane glared at him again. "If you don't like it leave.  I didn't want
you to fucking show up in the first place."
     "Alright Shane.  I'll come by tomorrow."
     Shane shook his head and walked off down the beach when Matt and Seth
reached the top of the stairs and stepped onto the grass they looked back
down at him.  He was now sitting on the sand his knees pulled up to his
chest with his face buried between his knees.  Even from their great
distance they could tell he was crying.
     Matt looked back at Seth his own eyes moist.  Seth put his hand on
Matt's shoulder.  "He just needs time Matt.  He's been through a lot.  No
one could come away from it smelling like a rose."
     So Matt showed up the very next day at nine o'clock in the morning.
Shane was in the yard looking over the lumber and scratching his ear.  He
looked over at Matt as he got out of the car and Matt saw immediately he
didn't seem as pissed as he was the day before.
     "Hi," He said as chipper as his nerves would allow as he walked up on
the opposite side of the lumber as Shane.
     "Hi," Shane looked at him another second then down at the wood.  "You
know how to make a dog house?"  His voice was quiet, fearful even but he
felt real bad about the day before and was starting to think if these
people kept showing up despite how he was that maybe he shouldn't be so
rude to them.  He had decided if Matt showed up today as promised he would
be nice to him.  Problem was he hadn't expected Matt to show up and was
more then a little shocked.
     "Well yes," Matt said floored and relieved.  "I've made a few in my
day."
     Shane looked up at him cocked his head to one side and smiled.  A
smile Matt had been afraid he would never see again.  "I don't think he'd
be in it much."  he nodded down to shep who was chewing on a rawhide bone
that Tad had bought him.  "But I'm supposed to be doing crap to keep busy."
He grinned again and scratched his temple.  "But I don't even know what to
do first."
     "First you need a plan." Matt put a foot up on the stack of lumber and
leaned down onto his thigh.  "You know draw out what you want it to look
like and what size you want everything."  He paused and looked down at his
crotch where Shane was staring.  "What?"
     "You know," Shane turned his head and chuckled.  "If you are gonna
wear shorts and stand like that you should really consider wearing
underpants."
     Matt looked down further then reached a hand up feeling he was hanging
out a little.  He turned red and put his foot down.  "I was just trying to
cheer you up."
     Shane laughed harder his own face very red.  "I think it worked."
     Matt laughed too though he was more embarrassed then anything but it
was sure good to see Shane laughing he didn't remember ever seeing that.
"Come on," Matt said walking around the lumber.  "Let's go in and draw up
those plans.  I promise to keep myself contained."
     Shane chuckled again and led him inside.  "Don," He called out as they
entered the house.  Don poked his head out of a room off the livingroom.
     "Yeah?"
     "Do you got any paper and a couple pencils?"
     "Sure," his head popped back out of view then he walked out of the
room a minute later with a notebook and two pencils.  "What are you up to?"
     "We gotta draw up what we want the house to look like."
     "Good idea." he handed the supplies over smiled quickly at Matt then
returned to his office.
     Matt and Shane sat down at the kitchen table while Shep laid at
Shane's feet still gnawing on his bone.  "Maybe we should make it look a
little like this place.  You know the same colors with like a turret or
something."
     "We can do that." Matt said thinking that wouldn't be too hard.
     Shane started drawing asking for advice frequently.  He kept making a
pained expression and after about the dozenth time Matt asked him what was
up.
     "What do you mean?" he asked curiously.
     "You keep making a funny face."
     Shane scrunched up his face and furrowed his brow.  "Like this?"
     "Yes," Matt chuckled.
     "I just hate that noise," He pointed his finger down at the table
where Shep was gnawing underneath.  "It grosses me out."  He grimaced a bit
realizing he'd just said something about himself then looked over and
studied Matt for some sort of reaction.
     Matt merely smiled and agreed with him and he sighed with relief.
     Matt showed up every day for two weeks most days bringing Seth with
him.  They all worked diligently on the dog house Don watched them from his
office window for hours at a time.  While they talked, laughed and worked.
When the house was up they spent days painting it and when it was finished
it was a small replica of the house.
     Shane's mood swings decreased dramatically during that time and when
it came time for Tad and Don to go on their annual camping trip with their
friends they felt Shane was more then ready to leave the house.  They sat
him down three days before the trip and told him.
     "You mean camping like on a lake in tents and stuff?"
     "Yes, a river though.  We canoe up a river and camp in different spots
every night.  We are gone two weeks, we eat a lot, drink a lot and have a
hell of a lot of fun."
     "Can shep come too?"
     "Of course."
     Shane chuckled at another one of Don's of courses.
     "So tomorrow we have to go out and get you geared up for the trip.
New clothes new shoes a tent, sleeping bag, canteen, back pack.  The
works."
     "You think maybe I'll build some muscle on this trip?"
     "Sure as shit." Tad said grinning elated that Shane was concerned once
again about his appearance.  "You'll be calling yourself the stud by the
end of summer."
     Shane blushed and looked at Don.  "You told him about my names?"
     Don nodded and patted his knee.  "He thought it was real funny just
like I did."
     Shane still looked embarrassed but did not get mad as he would have a
month earlier.  "Where are we going?"
     "That's a surprise."
     The next day Shane was cheerful almost blissful as Don helped him pick
out supplies for the trip. He'd not been off the property in over a month
and though he seemed leery at first of each place they stopped once he was
there for a few minutes he was okay.
     They went to the outback store last where they were well stocked with
Canteens and hiking packs as well as anything imaginable a hiker or camper
would need.  They were standing at a wall of back packs when Seth walked up
beside them looking incredibly brawn in his outback tank top and tan knee
length shorts.  He put his arm over Shane's back and brought his hand up
onto his shoulder.
     "Going on a trip Shane?"
     Shane who had jumped at being touched turned his face instantly
changing from fear to relief seeing it was only Seth.  He looked down at
his shirt and smiled.  "I didn't know you worked here?"
     "Just a few days a week.  Don't want to work all damn summer. God you
look great you've got a real nice tan."
     Shane smiled glad his endless days in the sun had given his chalky
complexion some color which he himself had not looked in the mirror enough
to see.  Seth looked over at the wall of packs.  "Know which one you want
yet?"
     Shane shook his head and looked back at the wall himself.  "I guess I
should just go by color huh?"
     "Well what kinda trip you going on?" Seth knew full well what kind of
trip it was as Don had called him weeks ago on it but didn't want to ruin
any surprises and wanted to play totally dumb.
     "Canoeing, camping." Shane glanced over at Don who nodded that he was
right.
     "Well you don't want one too heavy but you want one that's waterproof.
You'd want one of these here." He ran his hand down one line of them from
the floor to the ceiling.  "From there it goes by color." He squeezed
Shane's shoulder wanting to kiss him full on the lips but kept his cool
since Don was standing right there and he was pretty sure Don did not know
of their swinging behaviors.  As Shane and Seth had 'shacked up' on more
then one occasion months before while Matt and Sam 'shacked up' together in
the next room.
     None of them had any doubt who their true love lied with Seth loved
Matt more then anyone and he knew Sam loved Shane.  They all probably loved
each other if it came right down to it but had no doubts who they were
with.
     "Would people think I'm queer if I chose yellow."
     Don and Seth both looked at him sideways and saw he was grinning and
they both busted out laughing.  "Cause I do want yellow." He said after
they'd gotten their laughter under control.  "How's it go?  You're queer if
you wear yellow on Thursday?  I'll just make sure not to actually wear it
that day."
     Seth reached up and got the yellow pack and Shane averted his eyes
from the dark brown tuft of hair under his arm pit and forced his genitals
to stop tingling with thoughts of snot and other gross things.
     Don noticed his hard swallow and grinned inwardly glad to see Shane
still had his sex drive anyways.  He was afraid after what that bitch of a
woman had done he would no longer be interested in sex at all which for
someone his age was very unhealthy.
     Seth took them to the canteens next and Shane picked out a red plaid
one.  They were wrung up by Seth and Don wrote out a check while Seth and
Shane chatted.  He wished them a good trip as they left the store.
     Shane was putting his things in the trunk with the rest of his new
things when he heard a familiar voice calling his name.  One he could not
place til he turned and saw Kelly, who was now Buzz's wife, coming toward
him.  She threw her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek.  Shane
took it well but the whole ordeal made him real uncomfortable.
     "I was so glad to hear you got out of that damn house." she kept her
hands on his shoulders as she looked up in his eyes.  "You've gotten taller
haven't you?"
     "Maybe a little." He was noticing it too he sure seemed to be looking
down at her more then he remembered.
     "And cuter I'd say.  Amazing." She clucked her tongue and shook her
head and smiled over at Don.  She walked over to him and shook his hand.
"I'm Kelly Campbell.  Used to be Kelly Reynold's.  I married Shane's
brother."
     Don nodded and smiled. "Nice to meet you."
     "Not as nice as it is to meet you.  Wow I sure was glad to hear Shane
had a good place to live now.  I worried about him a lot."
     Shane blushed deeply as he closed the trunk.  She turned back to him.
"So how's it going Shane?"
     "Fine." he nodded curtly not wanting it to get back to Austin about
how he was doing at all.
     Kelly stayed and talked for a couple more minutes but getting nothing
more then one word answers she eventually said good bye and walked off.  In
the car on the way back home Don looked over at Shane.  "Do you not like
her Shane?"
     "She's real nice." he was studying his fingernails only so he wouldn't
have to look over at Don.
     "How come you wouldn't talk to her then?"
     "Just cause." he shrugged and closed his eyes in silent prayer that
Don would drop the subject all together.  No one knew how Austin had
treated him.  It was the one secret he'd managed to keep and didn't want to
go anywhere the subject of him in fear that something may slip out.
     Don did let it drop though he was sure Shane was hiding something.


                         Chapter 12


     They were up and on the road at 4am.  They were in Tad's SUV and Shane
was asleep his head on Shep's thigh within an hour of taking off.  His pack
was tightly in his arms as he'd refused to have it put in back something
Don was sure had to do with his other one being taken away and never being
returned to him.
     They passed the Maine border at Eight am and Don glanced back at Shane
who was still sound asleep.  "Did I ever tell you what that dog was doing
that day Shane was pounding his head into the floor?"
     "You mean besides barking his head off?" Tad who was driving asked
grinning over at him.
     Don nodded.  "He was pulling back on the neck of Shane's shirt.  Like
holding him back from nailing his head into the floor."
     "Shane has himself a free body guard in that dog.  Even if he only
needs to be guarded from himself right now.  If you think about it they
only had each other for many years.  Shep's owners did nothing but feed
him.  They never let him off that chain and I don't think they ever stopped
to pat him.  It was always Shane who gave him attention and always Shep
that gave Shane attention.  They both were in their own little hells but
managed to make each other's lives a little brighter just by knowing each
other."
     Don grinned and rubbed Tad's leg and the road stretched on before them
surrounded by pine trees, birch and oak trees.  "You are such a sap."
     Tad cuffed his shoulder.  "Me? my God Don.  I've never seen anyone cry
as much as you these past few months."
     Don chuckled.  He could do that freely now as Shane was doing so much
better reminding him every day why he'd grown so attached to him in the
first place.  He knew Shane still had a long ways to go but he had a lot to
sort through and didn't expect it was gonna happen over night.
     Shane sat up and stretched as they pulled into a rest area and Tad
hollered out 'piss stop.'
     Don smiled back at him.  "Not a very nice awakening huh?"
     Shane stopped mid stretch and chuckled.  "I spose it's better then
yelling fire or something."  He patted Shep's hip.  "I gotta pee first boy
then I'll come back and take you out."
     They got out of the truck Shane did not notice both Don and Tad
scanning the parking area as he was walking ahead of them head to the
ground as usual.  After they all relieved their bladders they met up out in
the food court.  "You want a coffee or bagel or something Shane?"
     "You gonna have something?"
     "Would it make a difference whether or not you want something?" Tad
asked.
     Shane sort of smiled loving Tad's personality in the way he said what
was on his mind with no inhibitions at all.  He did not treat Shane like an
idiot and spoke candidly to him treating him more like someone his own age
then some dumb kid.  "I guess I'll have a coffee."
     They walked up to the coffee shack and Shane looked over the flavors
while they waited in line.  A long line that was roped off so you knew just
where to go.  Shane stood between Tad and Don feeling total safety in their
midst.  Not brave enough though so he was gonna order his own drink he put
his hand up on Tad's shoulder who was extremely tall towering nearly a foot
over Shane's five feet six inches. He pulled down so Tad leaned over
putting his ear to Shane's mouth.  "I'll have french vanilla please.  Just
cream."
     Tad nodded and faced him.  "You want a donut?"
     "No that's okay."  The that's okay told Tad he did want a donut just
didn't want to ask for one.
     "Okay then I'm ordering you get one.  You still need to gain weight,
you want sugar free liver flavored or you gonna tell me what kind you
want."  He was whispering back in Shane's ear knowing Shane would be
embarrassed as hell if he was saying this out loud.
     "Liver flavored sounds good." Shane whispered back knowing Tad was
toying with him but loving it.
     Tad laughed and shook his head.  "I don't think they really have that
kind."
     "I'll have chocolate with sugar on it then please."
     Tad nodded and straightened back out.  He was straightened back out no
more then ten seconds before Shane pulled him back down again.  "Shouldn't
we get Shep something?  He's on vacation too."
     Tad nodded and grinned.  "What kind does he like?"
     "Don't know, maybe plain.  Dog's ain't supposed to have chocolate I
heard."
     "Yeah I think you're right."
     They got their coffee and donuts and went back to the truck Shane
hooked Shep up to the leash apologized to him for it then gave him the
donut as a peace offering, while Tad and Don grinned at each other.
     "Where should I take him to pee?"
     "Over there looks good." Don said pointing to the far side of the
parking lot where there were a multitude of trees beyond that all he could
see was forest.  Shane walked off feeling as safe with Shep as he did Tad
and Shane.
     He did not see a car pull up beside the SUV and did not see Sam get
out with his own pack and sleeping bag.
     Sam was hugged by Tad and Don at the same time then they loaded his
gear into the back of the SUV. "Where is he?" Sam asked looking around
nervously.
     "Taking the dog for a pee."
     Sam kissed his mom goodbye while she told him to be good.  She smiled
and waved at Tad and Don before she took off leaving Sam with no escape
route which was the way he wanted it.  He told himself no matter how Shane
was at seeing him there he was gonna go and hopefully by the end of the
week he'd start talking to him at least.
     Don seeing his nervousness patted his shoulder.  "I don't think it's
gonna be as bad as you are thinking.  He's doing so much better."
     "Matt said he was.  But he still won't take my calls." Sam put his
hands in his front pockets and looked down at the ground.  "I just miss him
so God Damned much I can't take this.  Why's he pushing me away so?"
     "I think cause he loves you the most." Don said smiling warmly.
"You're always meanest to the ones you love, you always try and protect
them more then anyone else.  He was feeling like the lowest form of life
and didn't want to drag you down with him.  Now that he's doing better he
hopefully will realize he's not gonna drag you down anywhere."
     Sam nodded and climbed into the back of the truck while Tad and Don
got in the front Don taking the wheel this time.  "And if things go real
well you'll need these."  Tad pulled a pack of condoms out of the glove box
and threw them back to Sam.
     Sam's mouth dropped open as he caught them.  "Geez Mr. Mason are you
condoning sex on this trip?"
     "I'm not a stupid man Sam.  I know you boys are gonna do what you damn
well want to do and I'll be damned if I'm gonna have my trip ruined by
doing fifteen minute tent checks.  Just be safe that's all I ask."
     "You mean like don't do it on the edge of a cliff."
     Tad busted out laughing while Don shook his head and grinned.  "You
know what I mean Sam."
     Sam seeing Shane heading back to the truck tucked the condoms in his
back pocket and held his breath.  He said a silent prayer and braced
himself.  Shane opened the back door he was looking at the ground and did
not yet see Sam.  "You shoulda seen the crap he took." there was no
response to his words which he thought might bring a laugh.  He looked up
to unsnap Shep's collar and his eyes nearly bugged right out of his head
seeing Sam in the back seat.  He let out a long shaky breath then climbed
up in behind Shep.
     The tension in the car could have been sliced and served for a good
minute.  Sam stared at Shane and Shane stared back at him.  Shep licked
Sam's face then got down on the floor.  Shane pushed over in the seat and
wrapped his arms around Sam.
     Sam melted in his arms his fear suddenly evaporated as Shane stroked
his thumb along his ear and into his hair.  "I'm sorry Sam.  I didn't mean
to be such an asshole."  Tears slipped out of Sam's eyes as he brought his
hands up over Shane's back and onto his shoulders.
     He turned his mouth into Shane's ear.  "You know I like assholes." He
whispered so only Shane could hear.  Shane's shoulders shook with mirth and
he squeezed Sam tighter.
     Tad smiled at Don who was yet again crying as he started the truck.
     Shane and Sam stayed in the embrace for quite some time when they
separated they kept their hands clasped tightly together.  They both had so
much to say to each other they didn't even know where to begin.  Most of it
was not something either felt like discussing with Tad and Don right there
so they rode in silence their hearts full at just being so close to one
another.
     As they drove on the woods got thicker they didn't pass more then a
couple towns with just seemed to spring out at them for a few seconds
before they were swallowed up again by thick woods.
     They pulled onto a dirt road at shortly after noontime and drove on
that for another half hour.  This road still had a lot of woods but there
were many patches of bare land where trees were scattered only here and
there.  Shane could see stumps where trees once stood and wondered why they
had all been cut down.
     Sam seeing him staring out the window every time they passed one of
these barren fields squeezed his hand.  "It's clear cutting.  They do it up
here in the woods they harvest all the trees for paper and stuff.  There's
all kinds of places like this up here.  In fact this road was built mainly
for logging trucks to haul the wood in and out.  It wouldn't be here
otherwise."
     Shane looked into his eyes and nodded amazed that even after a month
apart and two months of not talking to him that Sam could still read him
like a book.  Though he knew that should be scaring the hell out of him he
didn't care anymore.  Sam kept coming back.  Kept coming back even though
he knew him better then anyone else.  If Sam didn't mind his crazy-ness
then he was no longer gonna push him away.  He loved Sam he knew that.
He'd admitted it to himself maybe a hundred times over the last month.  He
hadn't known what he'd had til it was gone and was not about to let it slip
through his hands again.
     He nestled his head down onto Sam's shoulder while putting his hand up
on his other shoulder and squeezing it gently.  Sam put his cheek down on
Shane's head and his hand on his thigh.
     Sam was flying on air he never thought Shane would be this wonderful
not on the first day.  He prayed it would stay this way cause he knew if it
did they would have two weeks neither of them would ever forget.
     They pulled into a clearing in the woods overlooking a wide stream.
The clearing was full with two other vehicles with Canoes on top and four
people standing around talking.  Two of them were woman and two of them
were men.
     "We on this trip with Hetoro's." Sam piped up.
     "Sam would you stop being racist." Don said laughing.
     Sam laughed too and shook his head.  "I just do it to be funny I don't
hate no one. Well unless they piss me off."
     Don shook his head too.  "They're not hetero's as you call it anyways.
We're all queer here."
     They all got out of the vehicle and Tad and Don were immediately
consumed in hugs while Sam and Shane stood next to each other just watching
it all.  Sam leaned over and put his mouth to Shane's ear.  "You spose they
are all swingers too."
     Shane snorted and shook his head then wiped his arm across his nose
praying something hadn't come flying out in his snort.  Sam still at his
ear asked. "You been with Matt or Seth?"
     "No, not that way.  I just wouldn't feel right about that without you
there."
     "Jesus Shane you gotta." Sam said still whispering.  "I give you
permission.  It's best to be with them that way I know you'll be sexually
satisfied and not go wandering off to someone you may like more then me."
     Shane turned his face to Sam their lips nearly touching.  "I would
never like someone more then you Sam.  I never have and I never will."
     Sam smiled and pressed his lips into Shane's which evolved into an all
out kiss time passed they had no idea how much and all of a sudden they
heard snickering and Don clearing his throat.  They turned their heads over
to the others who were all standing around and looking at them.
     One lady who had short black hair and way more muscles then Shane, had
her hand on her chest and looked like she was about to cry or something.
"Ahh young love." She said dreamily.
     Sam and Shane both turned bright red neither of them having known
they'd been the center of attention.  "If you boys think you could keep
your lips off each other's for a couple minutes we'll introduce you to
everyone."  Tad said grinning.
     He started to his right with the short black haired woman whose name
was Lorraine and took her hand off her heart only long enough to shake each
of their hands.  Beside her was another woman this one blonde with
beautiful long hair and a chest that Shane thought could serve as her life
preserver.  Tad introduced her as Mary and they both shook her hand.
     Next was Aaron a tall dark and handsome young man Shane considered to
be about twenty or twenty one.  He was the epitome of hot and could see Sam
was thinking the same way as he looked just shy of drooling.  Jason who had
his arm around Aaron was next he as well was very cute and looked maybe a
couple years older then Aaron.
     "Well what do you say we hit the river." Jason said smacking his palms
together.  "We got three hours of rowing before we get there."
     They spent the next half hour unloading the canoes and packing them up
since neither Sam or Shane had been canoeing before they all decided it
would be best if Shane went with Tad this first time and Sam went with Don
at least til they got to know what they were doing.
     Though they had spent two days getting Shep used to sitting in a canoe
they could not get him into one once it was on the water.  Shane feeling
quite panicked and on the verge of tears not wanting to ruin anyone's trip
but not about to leave Shep behind looked desperately at Tad.  "What are we
gonna do." His chin was quivering and Tad knew just by looking at his face
he was near the danger zone.  What Tad had been calling his rapid mood
swings.
     "Just get in Shane.  I think once you get in there he'll follow you
right in."
     Shane nodded quickly wiped a falling tear then walked carefully out
onto the canoe holding his arms out to balance him.  Shep whined and paced
back in forth in small circles.  It took about ten seconds before he
followed Shane out and sat on his haunches in the middle of the canoe.
Shane smiled widely his body tingling with relief as he leaned over and
kissed Shep on the head which Shep returned with his tongue.
     "Ahh Shane." Tad said hating to point it out but having to.
     Shane looked up at him from where he was sitting.  "Yeah?"
     "You're facing the wrong way."
     Shane put his hand over his mouth and hunched his shoulders.  Tad was
very relieved to see a grin when he pulled his hand away.  Sam busted out
laughing in the next canoe and Shane reached over and swatted him upside
the head which got everyone else laughing.
     Sam leaned out of Shane's reach.  "No matter how good I get I ain't
going with him.  He can't even sit right."
     Shane laughed right along with everyone else.  Though Don had
originally bristled at his comment he was exceptionally happy at Shane's
response.
     "If we are done teasing the new guy perhaps we should get to camp."
Shane said shaking his head as he reached behind him and picked up the
paddle.
     They set off.  Shane paid careful attention to Tad's instructions and
realized canoeing would be a great workout as his arms were burning within
five minutes.  His eyes wandered from one side of the river to the other
his heart filling with it's beauty.  It was not only the visual splendor he
saw, the tall trees, leaves swaying in the breeze the clear blue sky with
only a few very puffy clouds dotting it here in there but the smell.  It
smelled heavenly like fresh turned dirt and a mix of pine.  It just smelled
fresh and he loved it.  He couldn't wait to jump in the river buck naked in
the middle of the night and was sure he could get Sam to join him.
     The sound was also very stimulating the constant soft lapping of the
water against the rocky shoreline, the birds singing in the trees even some
other sound he couldn't decipher a deep sort of gurgle.  About the 10th
time he'd heard it he looked over at Sam who was abreast of him in the next
canoe.  "What is that sound?"
     "Which sound?"
     "That weird one.  Sort of deep and louder then the birds that only
happens now and then."
     Sam listened for a minute Shane could almost see his ears preening as
he turned his head slightly for a better vantage.  "That one?" He asked as
it happened again.
     Shane nodded.
     "Don't know," Sam said shrugging.  "It might be big foot.  Ma said
he's been seen roaming these parts."
     The adults laughed while Shane rolled his eyes.
     "It's a frog Shane." Jason said from the next canoe over past Don and
Sam's.  "Bull frog.  Wait til nighttime you'll hear tons of them."
     "Why they call it a bull frog?  It's not as big as a bull is it?"
     "No but's it's big.  Like a rat."
     "They don't bite do they?" he asked worried suddenly about his
midnight swim.
     "No they have no teeth."
     Shane looked down over the side of the canoe and into the water.  "Is
there anything in here that bites?"
     "Don't think so, Maine is a really cool place just for that reason,
there's no poisonous spiders or snakes very few things that would bother to
bite anyone.  It's a lot safer in a river then say the ocean."
     "Yeah Shane and you swim in the ocean all the time." Don spoke up.
"If you can do that surely you can swim in this river."
     By the time they pulled the canoes up to the bank of a small clearing
Shane's arms felt like they were gonna fall right off.  Shep ran off into
the woods immediately being a modest dog he hated peeing in public.  Shane
joined him shortly after he disappeared his hands so numb he could barely
hang onto his wiener.  Sam stepped up beside him and pulled out his own.
     "Dammit." Shane said looking at him.
     "What?" Sam asked smirking knowing by Shane's face he was gonna be
joking in whatever he said.
     "I was hoping you'd hold mine.  My hands are all numb."
     "Oh I can hold both." He reached over and grabbed onto Shane's which
got Shane chuckling and did not allow him to pee. He swatted Sam's hand
away.  "I can't pee like that." he said shaking his head as he re-grasped
his own dick.
     Sam shrugged and shook his out.  "Just trying to help."  He pulled out
on his waist band dropped his peter back in and snapped the waist band back
against his waist.  "I've beat off til I was raw these past couple months.
I hope you are going to provide me a remedy tonight."
     Shane looked over his shoulder and back at the camp sight his pee
finally spurting out.  He shook it off then tucked it back in.  Grabbing
Sam by the arm he pulled him further off into the woods.  "Why wait til
tonight." He said pulling Sam's pants down to his knees in one swift
movement.
     Sam became erect so fast it looked like a snake launching an attack.
Shane smiled from it up to Sam.  Sam sort of shrugged looking a little
embarrassed.  Shane lowered his own shorts to his knees then pulled Sam in
close their lips mashed together and they gyrated their hips into each
other their rock hard members doing their own mashing.
     They dropped to their knees and Shane eased Sam over onto his back
pressing his body into Sam's then lying on top of him their kisses were
frenzied like they were fighting each other to get in the best kiss.
     They both got off long before a condom was needed then laid in each
others arms feeling each other's penis slowly contract between them.  Shane
raised his face off Sam's and looked over at Shep who was looking back at
them peculiarly.  He grinned at him then back down at Sam who had dead
leaves stuck all through his hair.
     "Guess my dog ain't used to that."
     "Least he didn't attack me cause he thought I was attacking you."
     Shane laughed and rolled off Sam they both pulled up their shorts
deciding they'd better go for a swim before too long since they were both
smeared with semen.  Once standing Shane pulled the leaves out of Sam's
hair and they walked hand in hand back to the camp sight where just by
everyone's faces they got the feeling everyone knew what they had been up
to.
     "You boys gotta put up your tent.  Make sure it's all set before
dark."
     Shane knelt down by his pack and unsnapped the tethers that were
holding his tent in place.  After some help from Aaron they got it erected
both of them surprised how big it was from what it had been before it was
unrolled.
     They grabbed their sleeping bags and unzipped them once they got in
the tent.  They laid Sam's out flat on the floor of the tent then laid
Shane's on top and zipped them up together to make one two person sleeping
bag.  They grinned at each other looking very forward to bed time
     "You boys want some lunch?"  Lorraine said who was standing over the
fireplace which had a steel grate laying across the rocks.  Hamburgers were
sizzling on the grate and smelled absolutely heavenly.
     "We were gonna take a swim." Sam said wiping at the spot on his chest
over his shirt where Shane's semen was smeared beneath it.
     "That's fine." Don said nodding.  "But you still have to eat.  Just
don't swim too long." he said looking at Shane whose stomach was only
starting to not look so caved in.
     Shane nodded then walked to the river with Sam they threw their shirts
aside and walked in.  "Jesus it's cold."
     "No colder then the ocean." Sam said quickly walking out to the middle
where it was up to his chest.  "I'd say more refreshing then cold."
     "I'd just say cold." Shane said joining him in the middle.  Sam
grinned and walked over closer to him.  He rubbed his back and slid his
hand down into the back of his shorts rubbing his fingers along Shane's
crack.
     "I was so scared you were gonna kick me out of the truck back there at
that rest stop."
     Shane cocked his head to one side totally understanding why Sam would
feel that way and feeling very guilty about it.  "I'm sorry Sam.  I was
just scared I guess.  I was real confused but I'm doing better now and I
swear I won't ever treat you like that again."
     Sam nodded.  "I'm real glad to hear that Shane.  I don't want to lose
you ever.  You are the best thing that ever happened to me.  I've never
really known love before cept with my mom. I've had a lot of boyfriends but
none I've felt so strongly about."
     Shane smiled wondering why he wasn't pissed at what Sam had said
maybe, he thought, it was cause he loved Sam too.  Maybe being in love with
someone made whatever they said seem believable.
     He cupped his hand around the back of Sam's neck just before their
lips met he looked into his eyes.  "I love you too Sam."  He never thought
he'd say those words but now that they were out he was sure he'd made no
mistake.  Was sure what he felt was love and he was never gonna let it go.

     "So how's he doing?" Lorraine asked from where she was sitting on a
stump near the fire.
     "Real good," Don said smiling out over the river where Sam and Shane
were smooching away.  "He was not pissed at all about Sam coming.  Was real
glad actually.  Seems they're picking up right where they left off."
     "They're a beautiful couple." Mary was looking out at them too and
could not get over both boys stunning looks she pointed over at Aaron and
Jason.  "Think they could even give these two a run for their money."
     Jason who was standing behind Aaron put his arms over across his
shoulders and pulled him back to him in a tight embrace.  "We don't have
any money so they can run as much as they want."
     Aaron laughed as he put his hand up on Jason's.  "You're not gonna
start spouting about that rich with love crap are you."
     Jason grinned and kissed Aaron's neck.  "Oh you know it's true."
     Aaron nestled his neck into Jason's lips and looked down at Don.  "So
he's really doing okay?"
     "He's doing so much better.  Every day he improves.  He's got a lot
more work to do but I think his self esteem is starting to come out of the
gutter and that's the biggest step."
     Aaron nodded already knowing that.  He'd been severely abused himself
as a kid up til he was seventeen.  He and Jason had actually met at a
school for abused boys where they both still worked.
     "Aaron laughs at least once a day at what Sam and his friends did to
that damn basket ball team. Does Shane know about that yet?"
     "No, we figure if Sam wants him to know he'll tell him.  He's the one
that did it he should have the privilege of telling him."  Don chuckled as
well thinking back on it.  It certainly was the funniest thing he'd ever
seen.
     Shane and Sam came back out of the water and joined them around the
campfire sitting down on the ground once they got their burgers.  "So Shane
says you guys do a lot of drinking on these trips.  You gonna make us stay
sober while you do it."
     Don sighed while Tad grinned.  "You can have a few beers if you want.
We let Aaron drink before he was twenty one.  Just don't do nothin'
stupid. Don't make me act like a parent." he said pointing his finger out
at Shane who grinned back at him.
     "You know I could get fired for this." Don said after swallowing a
bite.
     "No you can't you old fart." Tad said chuckling.  "Neither one of them
still go to that god forsaken school and who the hell is gonna catch us way
up here in the North woods of Maine?"
     "Old Fart?" Don looked at him his face lit with humor.  "You are two
years older then me grandpa."
     Tad pointed a finger to his head. "Mentally."
     "Oh yeah mentally you are like five."
     "So you two are getting along well then." Aaron said grinning where he
was still standing in Jason's arms.  Don looked up at him and chuckled.
"Just fine Aaron.  Just you are more mature then he is half the time."
     "I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not."
     Don chuckled and ran his hand down Tad's thigh.  After Shane and Sam
finished eating they went for a walk down along the river so be sure not to
get lost.  Shep bounded along with them circling them as he bounded along.
     Sam put his hand in Shane's as they stepped over stones and tried to
keep their balance.  "Did you ever see deliverance?"
     "No," Shane said eyeing him curiously.
     "You want to play deliverance."
     "What is deliverance?"
     "It's about these group of men who go off canoeing in the woods.  One
gets raped by the hillbillies that live there."
     Shane started laughing but was all for it.  "Just don't beat me up
while you rape me."
     "Well of course not dumb ass."  He let go of Shane's hand and pushed
him off into the woods.  "You be wandering along and I'll come out and
tackle you."
     Shane laughed again and headed off into the woods Shep on his heels.
He walked no more then three minutes before Sam jumped out from behind a
tree.  "What you doin' here flat lander?" he sneered a great hill billy
accent.
     "Just exploring mister." Shane said playing the perfect scared
tourist.
     Sam put his hands in his pockets and jutted out his pelvis.
"Shouldn't go out wandering alone in the woods.  Don't know what danger be
out here."
     Shane had to laugh a minute before he could get back in his role.
"You mean there's wild animals out here."
     "Oh yeah," Sam sneered jumping down off the log he'd been standing on.
"Real wild."  He was menacing he was great at his part.  "Now I suggest you
drop them pants of yours boy.  I'll show you just how wild they's are."
     "Please sir, I'll move on.  Please don't stick your thing in me."
Shane held up his hands in mock terror and Sam doubled over laughing but
quickly composed himself.
     "You take off them there pants or I'll stick me knife in your chest."
he pretended to pull something out of his pocket then flip it up in the
air.
     Shane turned his head and chuckled some more.  "Well sir, if you are
gonna kill me if I don't I guess I have no other choice." he fake trembled
as he lowered his shorts to his ankles.
     "Under wears too boy."
     Shane trembled more and lowered his boxers.  Sam made a guttural sound
and walked in a circle around him.  "Guess you flat landers got big cock."
he stroked Shane's dick his face still menacing.
     He stepped back and pointed down at his own shorts.  "Take them off
boy and suck my dick."
     Shane nodded making it look fearful and pulled down his shorts.  "Git
on your knees boy."  He pushed Shane down by the shoulders and held his
hands there while Shane took his penis into his mouth and sucked it like a
popsicle on a very hot day.
     "Oh yeah boy.  You make bubba feel good."
     Shane pulled his head back and turned his face over his shoulder
letting out a long laugh before Sam playfully smacked the side of his
head. "Git with it boy."
     He returned to his duty til Sam pulled back his dick hard and
glistening.  He stepped out of his shorts and rounded Shane getting down on
his knees.  "Dammit."
     Shane on his hands and knees now turned to him.  "What?"
     "I forgot my condom.  Can you get it out of my shorts?"
     Shane laughed.  "I'm surprised you hillbillies use condoms when you
rape tourists bubba."
     Sam laughed as Shane handed him the condom.  "Well boy this day and
age you never know whatya gonna git.  Damn city folk come up here all
crawling with sins of fornication."
     "Now you just sound like a preacher."
     "You'll be praying soon too boy."  He spit in his hand and wet the
condom that was now his dick he spent a few minutes with his face buried in
Shane's ass.  "Oh it's good to be home." came his muffled voice.
     Shane dropped his head between his arms and laughed despite the raging
erotic sensation filling his entire body.  A feeling he had not felt since
late March.  Sam pulled his face out and rolled Shane over onto his back he
pulled his knees up with his arm and placed them on his shoulders.  "I like
to see my victim's faces when I rape 'em."  He guided his dick into Shane
then leaned over him pushing his knees down towards his chest.  They
wrapped their hands around each other's arms just below the elbow while Sam
eased back and forth deeper and deeper.
     They climaxed in record time Sam pulled out and Shane dropped his
knees off Sam's shoulders and sat up.  They kissed deeply and passionately.
"Your lips taste like my ass." Shane said as he pulled away chuckling a
minute later.
     "You tasted your ass man?  Gross." Sam smirked his eyes glinting with
mischief.
     Shane grinned and kissed him again rubbing his hands up and down Sam's
back while pressing in close to him.  "Have I even got the right to say I
missed you?" he asked a moment later.  "I mean since it was my fault."
     Sam moved both his hands down the sides of Shane's face his eyes
poured with love that could be seen on every detail of his face.  "You have
a right to feel however the hell you want to feel Shane."  He kissed him
again then pulled back and smiled.  "Just lucky for you, you feel the way
you do now or I'd have to kill you."
     Shane grinned again he ran his hand down Sam's side.  "I guess maybe
instead of my dad knocking some sense into me he knocked some sense out of
me."
     Sam smiled a warm and sympathetic smile.  "What's going on with the
shit head do you know?"
     "He's in jail I think.  I'm supposed to go to court next month and
testify.  I don't want to, I don't want to say what happened but Don says I
have no choice.  He's real adamant about that.  Which is funny he's never
adamant about anything."
     "Well it's cause he doesn't want your dad getting out of jail.  If you
don't testify he could get out a lot sooner."
     "Brian is living with his grandmother.  Don said they started treating
him like hell after they kicked me out.  He came to visit me once but I was
asleep.  I haven't seen him at all but Don says they went away."
     "Do you like Brian?"
     Shane nodded.  "I hated him at first but it was just cause I was so
jealous.  He's a real nice kid.  He sort of took care of me."  He blushed
and looked past Sam down to the river.  "You know sneaking me food and
stuff."
     "How do you like living with the school principal?"  Sam made a face
and Shane chuckled.
     "He's great.  I always liked him anyways.  Even when I got suspended.
He and Tad have taken real good care of me even though I've been a real
asshole."
     "Well they know you have a right to be a bit asshole-ish."
     "I don't though." He shook his head then rested his cheek down on
Sam's shoulder.  Sam put his hand up on the other side of his face.  "Why
do I gotta start being an ass when things are better.  Why couldn't I have
been an ass to the people who actually deserved it?"
     Sam rubbed his back with his other hand.  "I think it's just cause you
feel so safe with them.  You know they won't hurt you so you are letting
off some much needed steam."
     They got dressed long enough to walk to the river then took another
swim.  They were halfway back to camp ten minutes later when they came
across Aaron and Jason sitting on a couple rocks looking out at the river.
     Aaron looked up at them and smiled.  "You guys having fun?"
     "Most definitely." Sam nodded enthusiastically while he took Shane's
hand.
     "So how'd you guys meet?" Jason asked leaning back on his rock.
     Shane sat down by Aaron on a nearby rock and Sam sat beside him.
"Funny story really." He said grinning.  "I was hiding in the bathroom on a
toilet and he came in with a friend of his.  They didn't know I was there
cause I had my feet up on the toilet.  They were talking about me.  Sam
said I was real cute and he bet I was real nice too.  I'd just sort of
broken up with my other boyfriend and he said he was not gonna let this
chance pass him by." He smiled over at Sam who was leaning into him with a
shit eating grin on his face.  "Then he chased me down after school and
invited me to his house.  We played games and talked then kissed then we
were a couple."
     "How did you guys meet Tad and Don?" He asked looking from Jason to
Aaron.
     "On a cruise.  Three years ago.  That's where we met Lorraine and Mary
too."  Aaron reached down and picked up his can of beer.  He took a long
swallow then set it back down looking back out over the water he smiled.
"That was fun as hell."
     "They really feed you all the time on those things?" Sam asked having
dreamed of going on a cruise his entire life.
     "Oh yeah." Aaron nodded and smiled over at him.  "You can eat any damn
time you want."  Jason started to snicker beside him and he turned to him
grinning.  "What the hell are you laughing at?"
     "You and how much you swear every time you've had more then two
beers."
     Aaron chuckled.  "I don't even know when I do it."
     "It's just damn and hell anyways.  That's not really swears." Sam was
leaning past Aaron and smiling at Jason.
     "Oh but wait after five beers he'll graduate onto the big money
swears.  You're ears will be ringing for days after two weeks with him."
     Aaron laughed while Shane and Sam chuckled.  They all headed back to
camp.  "Hey you guys want s'mores?"  Mary called out.
     "Burgers?" Shane asked.
     Every one laughed and Sam put his hand up on Shane's shoulder who was
wondering why everyone was laughing at him.  "Not some more.  'S'mores.'
They're graham crackers marshmallow and chocolate."
     "Oh sounds good."  Shane looked up at the sky the camping spot was
growing dark and the sun was nowhere to be seen only it's fading light
could be seen on the other side of the river.  He preened his ears and
listened and could hear a lot more of those bull frog things just as Jason
had said.  "You spose it's possible to find a bullfrog?"
     "Well sure," Aaron led him down to the river while Sam and Jason
stayed behind to prepare some s'mores.
     Shane and Aaron walked along the river bank to a small pool off the
side of it.  "They don't like swift running water much.  Our best bet is
finding one in here."  He put his hands on his knees and leaned over
scanning the pond Shane walked a little past him and leaned down doing the
same thing.
     He was so intent in his own scanning he did not see Aaron lean down
and snatched one up.  "Here's one."
     Shane looked over.  "Holy shit." He went to take a step back tripped
over Shep again and fell flat on his back.  Aaron was over him in an
instant.  "Shane you okay?"
     Shane a little stunned nodded.  "Could you not hold that thing over me
though." He said with a wave of his hand in the direction of the frog.
Aaron grinned.  "Oh yeah sure, sorry."  He set the frog back in the pool
and washed off his hands.  Leaning back over Shane he held out his hand and
pulled him up.
     Shane wiped off his ass and rubbed his head.  "I really have to not
back up like that.  I'm always tripping over my dog." he grinned weakly
trying to hide his embarrassment.
     Aaron chuckled and brushed off Shane's back.  "He's just watching out
for you."
     "Seems lately he's the only one hurting me." He said with short laugh
then quickly put his hand over his mouth his eyes horror stricken knowing
he'd said too much.
     Aaron looked into his eyes and smiled warmly.  "It's alright Shane.  I
already know all about your dad."
     Shane slowly lowered his hand.  "How?"
     "Don told me."
     Shane took a shuddering breath his anger flaring no doubt at Don this
time.  "So everyone here knows?"
     "I'm not sure everyone knows, me and Jason know.  He told us cause we
weren't treated real well by our parents either.  He thought we may be able
to answer some questions for you."
     "I ain't got no questions."  He snapped then took another deep breath
not wanting to get pissed off.  "I'm sorry,"
     "Don't worry about it Shane.  I'm not gonna make you talk if you don't
want.  I just thought I should let you know, in case you had questions.
You know for someone whose been through a lot of what you've been through."
     Shane nodded looking past Aaron and down at the water.  "How were you
parents not treated well by your parents?"
     "I got a lot of whippings. A lot of spankings got punched and kicked a
lot got yelled at all the time.  Told I was worth nothing and would never
amount to anything."
     "Ain't whippings the same as spankings?"
     "No a whipping is with a whip and a spanking is with a belt."
     Shane nodded.  "I never got whipped."
     Aaron smiled and put his hand on Shane's shoulder.  "Well I didn't say
our lives were identical Shane.  Just real similar.  My parents made me
feel like a useless piece of cow shit.  That's what it really boils down to
you know.  What they did.  They were trying to knock you down mentally so
they could feel more powerful.  But they didn't knock you down not all the
way.  You are still here and you are still holding your head up.  And the
more you start to feel better about yourself the more you are showing them
that they didn't get you down despite their years of trying."
     Shane put his hand up in the crook of Aaron's elbow.  "But they did
get me down."  He looked up into Aaron's eyes briefly then lowered his eyes
back to his chest.  This person whom he'd just met was making more sense to
him then that damn shrink that rambled on and on for an hour every other
day asking him questions he still refused to answer.  He thought it must be
cause this guy knew what he was talking about.  This guy had actually been
where he was now.  He thought just maybe he would talk to this person.
     He looked back up into his eyes.  "You don't really want to spend your
vacation hearing my whining do you?"
     "If you would whine to me I would love it." Aaron said smiling as he
ran his hand gently over the side of Shane's face.  "And I don't call it
whining anyways.  It's more like liberation.  It's not good to keep things
inside Shane.  It only keeps you angry.  And you don't seem like the type
of person who would enjoy being angry all the time."
     Shane shook his head.  "I don't I hate it.  But I can't even control
it.  I'll be just fine then all of sudden I'm so pissed I just want to..."
he stopped and shook his head.  "I don't know something real bad."
     "What makes you get pissed?"
     "Lots of things."  Aaron turned around then led Shane over to a log
where they both sat down.  He turned to Shane and put his hand on his knee.
     "Give me a for instance."
     "Well a lot of times it's when someone says something nice about me.
I always think they are just pacifying me or something.  I don't like
people being fake nice to me."
     "Why are you so sure it's fake?"
     He rubbed his hand along the log then reached down and patted Shep.
"Don't know, I guess cause I know I don't deserve it.  That what I do is
not special."
     "That's not true." Aaron moved his hand from Shane's knee to his back.
"Don't get pissed off at me cause I haven't even seen if what you do is
special or not but your friends and Don wouldn't try and pacify you and
they wouldn't lie to you.  They are your friends cause they like you.  I
mean they can't be using you for your family could they."
     Shane's head snapped up and he looked at Aaron.  A slow smile spread
across his face.  "I see your point."
     "Did you admire your dad Shane?"
     He shook his absolutely sure of that.
     "Did you think he was right when he beat on you?"
     "No,"
     "Did you think he was an upstanding citizen that people could confide
in and count on?"
     "No," he said it slowly though he was sure of his answer.
     "Well then why are you being so hard on yourself for what he did?  Why
have you taken all his hateful words to heart?"
     Shane looked back down at Shep and shook his head.  "I don't know."
     "Well you should really start thinking about it.  As soon as you
realize how bad a man your father was all around then you should start
feeling better about yourself if only for the reason that you are not like
him.  That in itself is a pretty wonderful thing.  You could have easily
turned out just like him.  You didn't though."
     "Like Buzz." Shane said it to himself but he said it out loud he was
just about to curse himself but figured if he was gonna talk he may as well
talk about his damn brother.
     "Whose buzz?"
     Shane looked back up at him which was difficult in the rapidly fading
light.  "He's my brother.  His real name is Austin.  I just called him Buzz
cause he snored real loud."
     Aaron chuckled.
     "So then he was an asshole too?"
     "He was my father's son." Shane said nodding.  "Took right after him.
He's a few years older then me but already he was as mean as my dad.  He's
married now, and I wanted to warn the girl he's married to before they were
married but I didn't dare.  I feel real bad cause she's real nice.  I
should have said something."
     "It's easy for you to think back and say that Shane but when you were
there still tip toeing around just so's you wouldn't get beat on you can't
say that it would have been easy to do."
     "I saw her the other day though when I was in town with Don, I shoulda
told her then too."
     "Maybe he was only that way with you Shane.  Maybe he just took after
your father in what he did to you."
     Shane shook his head.  "It's not that.  It's what else he did.  He
likes to have sex with kids."
     Aaron's hand tightened around his shoulder and he was very fearful he
made a huge mistake.  "He had sex with you Shane?"
     Shane leaned forward over his knees hanging his head down over them.
"I shouldn't a said nothin'." he said quietly and Aaron could tell he was
crying.
     "No Shane you should." He rubbed his back.  "No one else knows this do
they?"
     Shane shook his head and sniffled.  "Don't tell anyone Aaron, please."
     Aaron knew Don should know, knew Don would have to tell his shrink but
he could not break Shane's trust.  Shane had just revealed to him a very
deep and dark secret and he just couldn't violate him more by telling
anyone.  "I won't Shane I promise."  He knew what he had to do was try and
convince Shane it was okay for him to tell but was not gonna start pressing
him on that this first time they were talking.
     "Did he do it to you a lot Shane?"
     Shane sat up and nodded as he leaned into Aaron not sure why exactly
he liked this guy so much.  He was hot that was for sure but his feeling
weren't sexual.  They were just warm feelings.  Feelings that made Aaron
seem very trustworthy and safe.
     "How old were you when he started this?"
     "I don't know, maybe eight, he used to mess with me before that but
didn't really have sex until I was in third grade."  He chuckled a little.
"I always go by grades cause I can't decipher how old I was.  I don't even
know when my birthday is."
     "Well geez Shane why don't you ask Don, he would know."
     "I don't know, never thought much on it I guess.  I was just
explaining why I say grades and not ages."
     "Do you know how old you are now."
     "Yeah I'm fifteen."
     "How do you come to that?"
     "Cause I was in tenth grade last year."
     Aaron nodded and smiled.  "I hate to be the one to break this to you
but Don told me you were sixteen.  I think maybe you miscounted."

     As soon as they got back to camp Shane sat down by Don and leaned over
to his ear.  "How old am I?" he whispered.
     Don turned his head and whispered back.  "Sixteen."
     Shane turned his head back and whispered.  "When did I turn sixteen?"
     "December 18th."  Shane nodded then got up and walked over by Sam he
sat down on the ground with him and gave him a big hug around the waist.
     "Did you find a frog?" Sam asked.
     "Yeah, scared me and I fell over Shep." He grinned then pulled some
sticky marshmallow off Sam's face.  "You look like you are enjoying those."
     "Well yeah," Sam said grinning wiping his hand over his face to see if
there were any more marshmallow stuck there.  He reached over to the napkin
beside him and picked up another s'more. "Try one."
     Shane let go of Sam and sat up straight he took it then took a bite.
His eyes lit up immediately. "Oh yuh this is good."  They sat around the
fire the firelight dancing off their faces.  They talked and laughed long
into the night and Shane felt totally at home.  Like he belonged with these
people and had known them his whole life.  He spent a lot of time studying
Aaron and Jason wondering how they could seem so calm, confident and happy
and prayed some day he could be more like them.
     They all went into their separate tents and Sam and Shane made quiet
love for at least another hour.  After they were done they snuggled into
each other's arms molding their sweaty bodies together.  "Can you picture
Mr. Mason having sex?"  Sam asked his face an inch from Shane's.
     Shane chuckled trying not to make it too loud.  "I can now, but before
when I just knew him at school I never would have pictured it."
     Sam rubbed his hand down Shane's arm and sighed.
     "What?" Shane asked knowing the sigh was serious.
     "Don't yell at me but how come you never told me why you and Derek
really broke up."
     The next sigh was Shane's.  "I was too ashamed I guess.  How'd you
find out?"
     "Don told me.  He thought I already knew and he said something that
basically told me what happened but I dragged the rest out of him.  Don't
yell at me again but I can't believe how strong you are.  How brave.  If
that had happened to me I would never have dared to go back to school."
     Shane pressed his head further into the pillow.  "You don't have to
worry about me yelling at you Sam.  You don't have to say that before you
say everything to me."
     Sam moved his face closer and pressed his lips into Shane's then laid
his head back down their lips still touching lightly.  "I'm just scared to
say anything nice to you.  It always used to make you mad."
     "I won't get mad no more.  I think I'm starting to like it."  Sam
could feel him grin with his lips.
     "We got them guys you know, the basket ball team."  He explained to
Shane what he, Matt and Seth had done and Shane laughed loudly not at all
able to keep this quiet.  Sam chuckled right along with him trying to keep
Shane's laughing to a dull roar by putting his hand over his mouth.
     "I guess I shoulda waited til not everyone was sleeping before I told
you."
     "I can't believe you guys." Shane was grinning from ear to ear his
love for Sam multiplying by at least two.
     "It was actually Seth's idea.  He's such a prankster." he said
prankster like he was a fifty year old man.  "You are gonna be totally set
at your new school you know.  Seth is like the most popular guy there.  And
since he totally loves you I'm sure all his friends will too."
     "Seth loves me too?" Shane asked wearily.
     "Well yeah of course.  The four of us we are like a family." He
chuckled and sort of shrugged then propped his head up on his elbow.  "An
incestual family but hey what can you do." he put his hand on Shane's
cheek.  "We all look out for each other.  We all have our own families but
we support each other as much as our families do.  You don't have a family
so we look out for you even more.  You ever need anything you tell one of
us.  Matt and Seth are a couple and you and I are a couple but the four of
us we just all go together.  You get it?"
     "I do sort of have a family now though.  Tad and Don are taking real
good care of me."
     "So your family is just a little bigger.  It doesn't make the rest of
us any less your family."
     Shane put his hand up on Sam's and turned his lips up and kissed his.
"I wish you hadn't moved."
     "It's just one year Shane.  I've already enrolled at the University of
Rhode Island I'll be half an hour away next year.  I'll have my own car.
We'll see each other nearly every day.  Don and Tad say I can come down
over Christmas and February break and stay there the entire month of August
next year."
     They felt as though they'd just gotten to sleep when they heard Don
calling to them from outside the tent to rise and shine.  They put on some
shorts but no shirts as their first order of business was to take a morning
dip.
     They rolled out of the tent and Shep took off into the woods.  "We are
just gonna go for a swim first to wake ourselves up okay?" Shane asked
looking at Don.
     "Sure, make it quick though we want to get to the next sight early
enough so's we can try and catch supper."
     "What a moose or something?" Sam asked.
     "No fish dummy." Don said chuckling.  "Unless of course you think you
can wrastle down a moose bare handed."
     "Uh no," Sam scratched his chin looking bashful though he wasn't.  "I
guess fish'll do."
     "You boys look tired.  Maybe if you hadn't been up all night you would
feel more rested." he put his hands on his hips over his tan knee length
shorts.
     Shane turned to him.  "He told me what he did to the basketball team.
And what you did with the fire drill.  That's why I was laughing so hard."
     Don smiled.  "It's about damn time he told you.  I was having all I
could do not to tell you myself.  God that was funny." He shook his head
and walked off back over to the campfire where Mary was heating up some
beans and frying some eggs.
     Shane and Sam walked down to the river.  The day was already hot and
the sun was blaring down making the river sparkle like diamonds were
floating all over it's surface.  The leaves on the trees surrounding them
were swaying gently in the breeze which brought little relief from the heat
as the breeze was as hot as the air.
     They swam for about five minutes scrubbing themselves with a bar of
soap that Don had packed in Shane's bag.  Sam started singing an Irish tune
with a heavy Irish accent cause of course they were using Irish spring.
     Birds flew out of nearby trees as he hit a high note and Shane laughed
so hard he was nearly dragged down river.
     They walked out of the water and the adults were still laughing about
his singing telling him if he kept it up they would not get to see any wild
animals on their trip.
     "Yeah," Lorraine spoke up.  "And I want to get some pictures."
     Shane's mouth hung open wishing he could take some pictures too.  Don
took one look at him and laughed and Shane quickly closed his mouth and
grinned shyly.
     "We've brought a camera too.  You want to be in charge of pictures
today."
     "Oh yeah." he said enthusiastically.  "You gotta show me how to use it
though."
     "No problem.  I'll show you before we get in the boats.  You two get
dressed.  No eating with no shirts." he smiled kindly and they took off for
their tent.  Shane pulled on green shorts and a white tank top that hung
loosely around him the arm holes leaving a good amount of his sides
exposed.
     Sam who was pulling on a grey T-shirt looked over at him.  "That won't
do Shane." He said shaking his head authoratively.
     Shane looked down at him self then over at Sam.  "Why not?"
     "Cause you look way too hot.  As in good looking.  I won't get any
canoeing done."
     "Well I am hot.  As in heat.  So tough shit."  Shane did not believe
he looked at all hot as in 'good looking' but appreciated the compliment
anyhow.  Sam chuckled then reached back into his bag.  "We took some
pictures of the weight room incident.  We thought you might like to see
them bawling their eyes out." He stood back up and handed Shane a stack of
pictures whose hand was outstretched waiting in anticipation.
     He laughed at each and every one. Wishing he had been there but
knowing at the time he wouldn't of dared.  Hell even now if they decided to
do it again he probably wouldn't dare.  "Did you show these to Don?"
     "No, we can show him though.  Tad probably would want to see it too."
     "Well I'll wait til not all these other people are around." He looked
over at Sam.  "Can I keep them?"
     "Well yeah."
     He nodded and tucked them into his pack.  They rolled up their
sleeping bags and hooked them to their packs then stuffed the clothes
they'd been wearing into a plastic bag and stuffed those in too.  They had
breakfast then took down their tent.
     Out at the canoes they loaded up their gear Shane's arms were still
real sore but he was raring to go dying to be buff by the time school
started so he'd be able to start over without still being a wuss.
     Tad put his hand on Shane's shoulder.  "You and Sam think you are
ready to man your own canoe?"
     Sam turned from where he was leaning over one of the canoes.  "We
ain't gonna hit any rapids or anything are we?"
     "No, this is a leisurely trip."
     He straightened out and looked at Shane who shrugged then nodded.
"Sounds good." He said smiling back at Tad.
     They took off again after Shane was instructed how to use a camera.
He took pictures more then he rowed which Sam kept yelling at him about.
He took pictures of the others, took pictures of Shep and several pictures
of the beautiful scenery.
     He was having the time of his life never remembering feeling so at
ease or so peaceful.  They got to their next camp at one o'clock and he
nearly kissed the ground with relief as his arms were already burning twice
as bad as they had been the day before.  The burn though painful made him
feel good about himself.  A feeling he had never felt before.
     They set up camp then Don took a bunch of fishing poles out of one of
the canoes.  Sam took on the role of teaching Shane how to fish which
didn't take long.  "I think you are a fishing pro." he said as they stood a
couple feet a part casting out their lines then reeling them back in.
"Like Bass Masterson."
     Shane chuckled.  "Who in hell is Bass Masterson?"
     "Don't know, I imagine he's some champion fisher man." he said
grinning looking at Shane a hell of a lot more then he was watching his
pole.  He could not believe how handsome Shane was. He'd always thought he
was handsome.  But put some decent clothes on the guy give him a little tan
and he was one hunky dude.  He wished the girls at Prescott high could see
him now.  He knew they'd eat their feet at picking on him for so many
years.  He hoped one day they would see him again so at least they could
see what they'd been to mean to for so long.
     Shane was changing he could see it clearly.  He was quickly becoming
more confident.  And not second guessing himself or apologizing for every
little thing he did any more.  He looked around to make sure no one was in
ear shot then turned back to Shane.  "If you saw Derek again what would you
say to him?"
     Shane took his eyes off his pole and looked over at Sam.  Sam was a
little worried by his expression that maybe he shouldn't have asked the
question but then Shane's face softened.  "I don't think I'd say anything.
He really doesn't deserve anything from me.  Even if he did want to see me
again I'd refuse to.  I had a good time with him." Shane sighed and rubbed
the back of his neck.  "But he couldn't have liked me very much.  Despite
the fact he said he did."
     "So I'd never have to worry about you going back to him."
     Shane looked at him in disbelief.  "No way Sam.  If he asked I would
tell him I met the guy of my dreams.  One whose always nice and that I know
loves me without question.  And that I love him back something I am sure I
didn't feel with him."
     Sam smiled side stepped and planted a firm kiss on Shane's lips.  "I'm
glad you know I love you.  I hope you just know how much."
     "I don't know how much Sam.  I can't say how much I love you, cause I
love you so much I don't even know how to describe it.  It's like it's
immeasurable, you know?"
     Sam smiled and nodded.  "It's so great to hear you talk about how you
feel.  I love to hear what you think about things."
     "Yeah well it's easier to talk about things when I feel good about
them."  His pole bent forward.  "Shit what do I do?"
     "Reel it in." Sam said excitedly.  Everyone else noticed their
excitement and gathered around Shane who barely noticed them in his
excitement to reel in the fish.
     He pulled back the pole and started reeling in he nearly dropped the
pole when he looked down at his arm and could easily see a well sculpted
muscle just beneath his skin.  A warm feeling of content ran through him
which could be felt despite the incredibly hot day.
     "Wow Shane it's a big one."
     Shane wanted to say I know but he was paying little attention to the
fish thinking his muscle could be considered as big.  Between Sam being
there, his new home to go back to every night, and his self perception now
tolerable he was almost looking forward to going back to school.
     Don took a step ahead of him holding a large net in his hand and
scooped up the fish.  He moved the net up and down a couple times and
smiled at Shane.  "I'd say this is a good five pounder.  Looks like we get
fish for supper."
     Shane smiled still holding his pole up in the air he wanted to hug Don
right then.  Hug him and let him know how happy he was now.  But was still
leery of what reaction it would bring so he kept his arms to himself.
     The only part of the two week trip that Shane did not like was the
fact it went so fast.  He talked with Aaron a lot, more then he'd talked to
anyone else and Aaron had given him his phone number and email address and
pretty much ordered him to keep in touch.
     Shane knew he would.  Aaron was so easy to talk to and never made him
feel stupid or like he was annoying.  He also made so much sense.
Everything he said got Shane thinking, thinking for the better.
     They pulled into the rest area where Sam's mother was already waiting
before opening the door he and Sam kissed for several minutes.  They both
got to crying then laughed at themselves promising they'd write or talk
every day.  Sam gave him his email address and Shane said he'd email just
as soon as he set up his own email account.  Which he planned on doing that
very night.
     Sam's mom got out of the car when they did and after hugging Sam gave
Shane a big hug.  "My god honey you look amazing.  How are you doing?" She
asked pulling back and squeezing his arm while looking warmly into his
face.
     He smiled at her.  "I'm doing much better.  Thank you for letting Sam
come.  We had a great time."
     "So he behaved himself then?" she asked looking over at Don who was
pulling Sam's pack out of the back of the truck.
     "Oh yeah.  We all had a great time.  He was a perfect little angel."
     His mom laughed.  "Well now I know you're lying."
     Don chuckled himself.  "Well I can't think of anything he did wrong.
So he was close anyways.  A natural woodsman."
     After Sam and his mom left Shane took Shep out to pee then he Tad and
Don went in to pee themselves and got some coffee and donuts.  Don put his
arm around Shane on the walk back out.  "You okay?"
     Shane smiled over at him.  "Well I'm gonna miss Sam but that's normal
right?"
     Don smiled and nodded giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.  "Sure
is.  You two are a strong couple.  You'll make it I have no doubt."